Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2006 04:12:19 +0000 From: Violete Marut Subject: Bulimia 6 I was in the bathroom,water running and me throwing up my Christmas dinner into the toilet.My grandpa was so proud of me when I ate everything he put on my plate.Now I was puking up everything,everything and more.After I finished I actually decided to take a bath.I never took baths.But in this goth environment of my grandparents house the prospect of taking a bath excited me.I got into the hot water.I lay back and enjoyed the sensations that made their way all over my body.Suddenly my silence and peace was interrupted by my mother's very loud screaming.She was yelling as if somebody was about to kill her.What and idiot,I thought to myself.Probably saw a mouse or something.I tried to concentrate on the warm water and even begun touching myself but after a while the screams just got too annoying.I angrily hurried out of the bath,almost braking my leg in the process.I put on a robe and went to see what she was screaming about.When I came into her room she was surrounded by grandma and a few aunts.Suddenly I kinda felt out of place as I was the only boy.She was crying not screaming anymore. "Calm down Grace,"said one of my aunts. "How can I calm down,I just saw somebody peeking through my window.For all I know he might have wanted to kill me.If you saw the madness in his eyes,"my mother said breaking into a really annoying cry. I left the room and went downstairs.I saw my grandma standing by the window "Granny,what's going on?" "Ahhhh Aiden.This place is cursed honey." "What do you mean" "There's always some madness around here.I wanted to move but your grandpa...stubborn man." Are you crazy woman,this is our home.We're not going to move just because a few maniacs live around here "I knew it was going to come to this" "Don't worry,it's probably mum overreacting" Grandma laughed at that.I liked her humor.I liked that she didn't mind my evil spirited remarks.She made me feel normal.And she was such a beautiful woman.Everyone told me I got my lips after her.I loved her lips,they were so pretty to look at.And her beautiful old fashioned way of dressing,almost always black. "Come here baby," she said to me.I obeyed and hugged her really tightly.She was moving her hands through my hair.I could have fallen asleep right then,but instead I saw a light.At the same time her hand stopped moving.We looked at each other and hurried out the door.The light was coming from the forest but seemed to go in two directions. "You go this way and I''ll go here,"I said pointing the directions to my granny. "No Aiden,it's not safe" "Grandpa is in the woods isn't he?" "Yes,but he can deal with it himself" "No he can't,you know it.This is about his life.Now let's go" She still looked unsure but we went our separate ways.I didn't even have a flashlight but I knew this forest like I knew my own pocket.I spent every winter playing over here..I had nothing to worry about,I kept telling myself.But my heart was racing madly,I thought it was gonna get out from my chest.I was running,not too fast,so as not to trip,but not too slow either.Finally I saw the light.I hurried towards it but again it disappeared after a few minutes.Now I was in the middle of a forest at 12 a clock at night without a flashlight..not a very good scenario ,is it?I jumped up and screamed as I felt a hand on my shoulder followed by a hand on my mouth to stop my screaming.I calmed down when I saw the deep green pools of Cal's eyes. "They're running after me Bastian" "Who?" "THEY" The confused look on my face must have told him that I didn't have a fucking clue of what he was talking about. "It doesn't matter Bastian..I need your help" "My name is not Sebastian"I said confused He looked at me like I was talking in Chinese. "I said it doesn't fucking matter," he yelled and threw me away from him.I stumbled back and tripped over some bush.I hit the back of my head pretty hard.Then it happened.My first and only epileptic fit.It lasted only a few minutes,and I don't exactly remember much.All I know is that when I finally came he wasn't there anymore.I was in the middle of a big forest at night without a flashlight ,alone.I fainted.When I woke up again I was in bed.My mother was by my side. "Baby..oh baby,"she started crying and kissing my face "EWWWWW GRACE get away" "Oh baby I was so worried about you..We're leaving today" "WHAT!?" "We're leaving this evil place behind baby" "No..No Grace we're not" "Honey you almost died yesterday.I can't take anymore chances.I already called for a taxi.We're leaving" "You leave all you want.I don't want to leave" She looked at me like I was purple or something.I rolled my eyes and got up.And awful pain in the back of my head made me lay back down though.I grunted. "Fine.We'll stay for a few more days..until you get better" "We're staying till the break is over" With that I turned around and pretended to go to sleep.When after a few minutes my very confused mother got out of my room I slowly got up on my feet.I couldn't just lay here and try to feel better when Cal was somewhere out there,hurting.After the initial pain I started putting on my clothes.I very quietly sneaked out of the house and made my way over to the lake.There was no one in sight so I just sat down.I looked into my reflection in the ice frozen water. "If you look long enough you'll see somebody else's face" Cal. I closed my eyes.I felt him sit next to me. "That's why I never look anymore.I always see somebody else." "You left me yesterday," I said and immediately felt like a whiny bitch.Why was I talking about myself when he needed my help. "Oh Sebastian,"he sighed"It's so awful..they keep haunting me like mad.The voices night and day and night and day.Yesterday I was just simply eating my dinner with my dad and at some point I looked into his face and ..." he gulped " and he had digits in his face.Digits and patterns I've never seen before.It scared me so much I ran out of the house.It was dark outside and then I heard them.They slice silence...their morbid voices never leave,Bastian,never,"he said looking at me with such conviction that I immediately believed every single word he had said."So I tried to look for you,because you're my angel..I thought you could make them stop.And then I heard gunshots and I knew that they were after me.So I ran and ran and ran.And then I see you in the middle of the forest,my angel.All I wanted to do was for you to understand how I feel but when you looked at me like you didn't understand..I just lost it.And I pushed you and then I felt so guilty I had to run away.I thought you would never forgive me.Oh Bastian please forgive me angel" He said crying "shhh,"I whispered soothingly and hugged him. "You are all that matters,you're the only one who can save me.I'm afraid of dying,really afraid" "I would die for you" "Would you," he asked me is a raspy voice which came as new to me "In a heartbeat" He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against mine. We kissed,slowly,shyly.It wasn't a wild make out.It was a sweet kiss.A kiss you give someone you love.I believed him.I believed that he loved me. "Will you help me?" he asked.Instead of an answer I nibbled on his lower lip,very gently,almost unnoticebly.