Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006 01:06:31 +0000 From: Violete Marut Subject: Bulimia 7 I was on my knees,mouthing a prayer.I was in a church with my grandma.The church,like my grandparents house,was very Gothic.There were about five people inside.Everything was quiet and the windows were open so that you heard the wind outside.It had a very peaceful atmosphere about it.The cross with Jesus crucified was very big and all wooden.It wasn't like most of those fake crosses.This one was made out of real wood and it wasn't even polished.Jesus,on the other hand,looked like he was made out of the most expansive and delicate porcelain.It was really beautiful and I couldn't stop staring.My eyes taking in the brutality and simplicity of the whole thing together. "I'll wait outside honey," said my grandma and I noticed she was ready to go. "It's fine,I'm done,"I said,all though truly inside I wanted to stay forever.I wanted to pray ,and look, and feel safe.I wanted the wind from outside to tickle my face and the breeze to mess up my perfect new dyed blond locks.I felt beautiful inside that church.I felt like I belonged,for the first time in my fucking life I belonged somewhere.This church was as lonely as I was. "Oh okay,well let's go" she whispered and I followed her out. "Helen" I said "yes sweetheart" "Are the rumors about the lake true" "What rumors?" she asked innocently. "You know..about the children." "oh..that.Well yes ,they are." "And?Did did they caught the person who did it." My grandma looked very sad and thoughtful.The wind messing up her perfect hair.I looked a lot like her. "Well the story goes like this : We had a neighbor called Mr.Truman who had 2 sons.One,Aaron,was the perfect student,the perfect athlete,the perfect social person.He was just an all around boy.The other one,Damien,was an outcast.He was never a very good student.His father gave him a hard time about it.He was always out shadowed by Aaron,in everything.He started drinking heavily and probably doing all those other things.You know narcotics and such." I inwardly giggled at my grandma. "One day a child disappeared from the park.A week after that another one got lost.Over the next weeks another 4 were kidnapped.The town was going crazy,the parents were going insane.People looked everywhere.The only one who didn't seemed fazed by the whole thing was Cal,but that didn't surprise anyone because he just was like that.Anyway..a few days after the last disappearance someone saw something in the lake and that led to finding all the six children in there.They were all murdered." "Wow...Damien did it?" "Yes" "What happened to him?" "He first confessed to his father.He said that he did it,but that there was no evidence so he was going to go free.His father took his pistol and shot Damien straight in the heart" I couldn't believe it.I was left speechless and as we reached home grandma gave me a sympathetic look and let me in through the door.To kill your own son.Your own blood.Jesus Christ,how awful that must me.But what shocked me even more was when I found Cal in the kitchen making lunch with my mother.I looked from him to my mom back and forth until both of them laughed. "Your friend came when you were at the church and I told him he could wait for you," Grace said. "oh" was all I could mumble. "Aren't you going to invite him upstairs?" "uhhh yeah,duuuh!...c'mon" I said. This was just a little too much for me.I had the boy of my dreams in my house following me to my room.This was better than all my erotic dreams put together. I opened the door to my room and headed straight for the bed.I sat and waited for him to join me,but he just stood in the doorway,leaning against the door frame,and looking at me with a smirk. "What?" I asked "This is a nice view" I didn't really know what he meant but I smiled anyway.Just the sound of his voice send shivers down my spine.I was shivering a little and he noticed. "Cold?" "Yeah a bit," I lied. He finally came in,closing the door behind him and sitting on the bed next to me.He put his arm around me and I leaned in. "Better now baby?" OMFG he just called me baby.This was so good.This was driving me insane.I couldn't help the goofy grin that made its way across my whole face.I just nodded in answer and he kissed the top of my head.That just made me melt. "Your mom is really nice,all though she's very twitchy" I laughed.How I hated Grace. "Yeah,don't mind her" We fell into a small silence and he kissed my head again.This time lingering a little longer. "I feel really good today you know.I think it has something to do with you" I looked up at him "Really?" He smiled "Yeah" I bit my lip.He leaned in close.My heart started beating hopelessly fast.I was afraid.He tried to kiss me but I pulled away.Jesus I was so inept.He just looked at me a little confused but didn't say anything.He put his arm around me really tight,like he was afraid that I would run away or something.I felt so disgusted with myself.I couldn't even kiss the guy I've been obsessing over for months.I didn't even fucking have to do anything,except lean in.But no,I had to be a total pussy and blow it.I just wanted to be buried under the ground.My eyes got watery and he asked if I was gonna start crying.I said no.He kissed my cheek and said "I kiss you way too much".