Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 22:38:49 +0000 From: Ben Long Subject: But You Will Not Know My Name - Ch1 This is a truly fictional story. I am 28 as I write this and everything which can be classed as real life has happened but ultimately this is a fantasy type story. This is my first story, I hope you like the first chapter and please let me know what you think. My email address is at the bottom. I am not sure when life will be right for me. But you will never know my name. It always seems that just as something amazing was going to happen, something else had to come along to screw it all up. It has always been like that for me but I guess in a previous life I must have been a real bastard. However, on this cold January morning, I felt a change in the air, it could have been a smell or the sounds but a change was going to come and I prayed that it would be a wonderful change that really would kickstart my life. So as every other morning I got up out of bed and dare not look at myself in the mirror, major self esteem issues something you will probably find out about later on, but I do not feel like sharing right now. I walked straight into my en-suite, yes, my family are rich, big house, big garden, all of it was big enough to stay away from one another. I went straight to the shower and set the temperature, the hotter the better, it makes me feel cleaner and it makes sure the stench stays away, I scrub myself until my skin is red raw, the pain it causes no longer exists as I have done it this was for as long as I remember, it now just feels right. After I step out the shower I finally look in the mirror, I see the redness of my skin, it makes me feel good, I start to play with my hair trying to fix it, trying to make my self look good or just feel good not sure which one it is. As I stand there looking in the mirror I feel a wind circle me and I begin to hear whispers in the air. "You must stop..." they say to me. This seems to always happen and always at the precise moment I look at myself in this way, I always wonder what it could be but I just put it down to my over thinking nature, but I do sometimes wonder what it is I must stop, stop living, stop thinking, just stop, but the whispers never finish the god damn sentence. I move away from the mirror and get my self dressed for the long fake day ahead of me. I walk into the kitchen, no body is home as usual, in fact I am not even sure the last time I had even seen anyone in my family, oh well, onwards and upwards I think to my self. I grab some food and head to my car and off to school I go. It is my senior year which means, I will soon be able to be my own man, I will soon live the life that want to live and no one will tell me what to do and how to live it. Now as I approach my school, there is probably a few things you should know about me, all that stuff you have just been told you can forget, because when I am school I am "the" popular man, the one all the girls want and the one all the boys want to be, I am every team, well I was on every team but decided to give it all up for my final year deciding to think more about education than to think about running a round shooting hoops or scoring touchdowns because it was all pointless, I wanted my education it was the one thing that would certainly get me out of this mundane existence. So here at school I appear to have no self esteem issues I am the epitome of the perfect student with the perfect life, if only they all knew, the real truth, if only they knew what had happened all those years ago, if only they knew the nightmares I suffered every night even though they never made sense, if only they all knew how one touch could change a person forever. As I got out my car, I was approached by my best friend,Trey, he was kinda my wing man in a non-sexual picking up girls way, I know he would have loved it to be like that but in all honesty that was never going to be me and he never questioned why it was like that he just wanted to be popular. Hell, the boy was hot for a guy, good body, good style, good hair he could seriously have any girl he wanted but never did, always more interested in anything but the girl, that is how he liked it and that is how I liked it. I do not know about Trey, but, for me girls do not do a thing for me, yes I find them attractive but they do nothing to arouse me, now the guys were a different story, one of the reasons I quit all the sports teams was because I could not control myself in the locker room and there had been way too many close encounters. But not wanting to label myself I am neither gay, straight or bi, I am just me. So myself and my group of friends are just chewing the fat, having a laugh and each others expense, when the weirdest feeling comes over me and I feel myself compelled to walk back towards my car, as I walk I hear my friends shouting for me but I ignore there shouts and just continue walking, as I reach my car, I see a guy sat on it and he is just staring at me, not moving, he does not even look like he is breathing, he just stares but the guy is hot and he already had me in sweats even just by that stare. "Hey get off my car" I say with force. "You need to stop..." he says but I cannot hear the end of the sentence. "What was that?" "You need to stop all of this or you will never be you" I hear the end of the sentence and I just freeze, I do not even know why that made me just stop but it scared me, but also it felt more of a peace of advice than a threat. The guy got up off the car and held out his hand to me and for some reason I took it, the second I touched it I could feel the coldness of his skin, but looking in his eyes I felt warm to the core, and then I was in blackness. Benlong2008@hotmail.co.uk