Date: Thu, 13 May 2004 01:18:17 EDT
From: RainDude099@aol.com
Subject: Cali Boys chapter four

This story is a work of fiction intended for a mature audience. All
Similarities between characters in the story and people in real life are
completely coincidental. This story depicts homosexual acts so if you do
not approve of this subject, please do not read any further.
This story is copyrighted by the author and may not be copied without the
written permission of the author, Scott MG.

I'm sorry that it took so long for me to finish this chapter. Life gets
busy ya know! I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker though!


Cali Boys
Chapter Four

The first thought that invaded Ryan's regaining consciousness was the
burning question of where in the world he was laying. Just by opening
his eyes he could tell he was not sleeping in his own bed. The wall he
was facing was not his own-- it was blue. The smell in the air of the
room wasn't as cool as it was when he awoke in his own room; here it was
warm and muggy. Ryan's eyes widened as he realized that he wasn't in his
own bed. He started to move his body when the shocking realization came
to him that he was laying up against someone else. He looked down to the
arm that was draped over his side and holding him close. In the instant
all the contents of the past hours came rushing in to Ryan's mind and he
hushed his startled gasp, fearing of waking Chris.

Ryan carefully removed Chris's hold of him and sat up in bed, pulling
the blankets down to escape the summer morning heat. As he started
moving he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his ass. He adjusted the way he
was sitting to relieve the awkward pain and remembered what had happened
the night before.

He remembered arriving at Chris's house and how the two of them talked
about how they felt for each other. The first time they had explored
their feelings for each other in two years-- the first time since Chris
had told Ryan he was gay and they had kissed at the lake. Ryan
remembered Chris playing the song that he had written for him. He
remembered the feeling he had felt for his friend. The love he had felt
for Chris. He had never felt so strongly for anyone in his entire life
and he remembered the satisfaction of admitting it to Chris and the
pleasure of their lips meeting again. In the heat of their new-found
passion, they had undressed each other and, passionately, made love.
Ryan remembered the feeling of Chris's dick in his mouth and his cock
sliding into Chris's tight ass. Although it had only lasted about ten
minutes, it was without a doubt, the best ten minutes of Ryan's life.
The incredible love he had felt as he fell asleep with Chris could never
be surpassed. A couple of hours or so after their first sexual
experience, Ryan remembered waking up to Chris's smiling face; beaming
with love. Of course they hadn't been able to keep their hands off of
each other.

Ryan moved his hand down between his legs, shifting his balls so that he
could feel his asshole. His fingertip brushed the soft skin and burned
like a bad sunburn. Ryan grimaced and removed his finger. The pain
instantly dissolved, although a slight discomfort remained. Ryan ignored
it though. Any pain or discomfort was worth suffering through after the
incredible pleasure Chris had given him that night when he had lifted his
legs over his shoulders and penetrated him with the most caution and love
he had seen. When Chris slid inside of him and he felt the stimulation
that he had believed only porn stars could achieve, it was like he had
become a man-- in irony though because of course most guys seemed to
achieve manhood by bedding a girl, not their best friend.

Ryan smiled however and preserved the memory as he turned to admire
Chris's sleeping face. He was always attractive, even Ryan had admitted
when he believed he was straight, but sleeping beside him-- Chris was the
most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. Ryan felt the glowing
sensation in his chest as he watched Chris sleeping peacefully. He
turned to check the clock on Chris's nightstand and suddenly realized
that it really was seven-thirty in the morning and he had spent the night
without so much as leaving a note for his father. The thought wasn't so
much as guilt for not telling his dad where he was, but more of fear of
getting grounded and taken away from Chris just when they had finally
reached each other. Carefully climbing out of the sheets and over the
bed, Ryan found his scattered clothes and dressed himself. He hurried
putting on his clothes and headed to the door, unlocking it and preparing
to rush home-- a few blocks away. Before leaving the scene of the best
night of his life, Ryan turned to glimpse Chris one last time. He was
amazing and beautiful and in short, the love of Ryan's life. He wondered
as he closed the bedroom door, quietly to not disturb his sleeping
parents, how could he have waited so long to realize and admit his love?
And could he ever have hurt him the way he had done in the previous
week? Ryan didn't want to answer those questions at the moment. He
wanted to bask in the memory of the night before.

***

The mid-morning sun streamed through Chris's windows and flooded his
eyes as he opened them for the first time in hours. From the position he
laid in, he could see the perfect clear blue skies outside and turned to
glance the time on his clock, reading ten 'till nine. The time had no
relevance though to Chris at the moment. He smiled wide and stretched
his arms as memories of his night with Ryan filled his mind. He sighed
happily and closed his eyes, breathing in the remains of Ryan's essence
in the room. Turning to his left he saw the bed was empty. Obviously
Ryan had woken up early and left, mostly likely to get home and avoid any
trouble with his dad. Although Chris was slightly disappointed that he
wasn't able to wake up in Ryan's arms, he understood why Ryan had likely
left.

Chris climbed out of bed, feeling lazy for sleeping in later than he
usually did. Even during summer Chris liked to wake up fairly early in
the day to accomplish as much as possible. It had always been a strong
feeling of his that it was important to live everyday to the fullest and
never waste a second of it. Standing up and stretching his legs, Chris
crossed his room naked and took a look at his bed from a distance. It
was no longer the same bed that it had been a day earlier. Chris knew
that from now on he could never lie in bed without feeling Ryan next to
him. The night before had been the best night of Chris's life. He had
finally openly declared his love to Ryan and Ryan had done the same for
him. In a blur of moments the two of them had wound up naked in each
other's arms, making love. The information hadn't all registered yet and
Chris hadn't even fully comprehended the fact that he had lost his
virginity to the man he loved and that the two of them were now
together. After years of fantasizing, Chris's dreams had become a
reality: he and Ryan were together. Chris stood there naked as he
registered the fact that he and Ryan were now boyfriends. He smiled and
took a deep breath, soaking in the beauty of what seemed to be a new
chapter in his life.

Chris slipped on a pair of boxers and gathered clean clothes in his arms
before leaving his bedroom, still lost in thoughts of Ryan's loving eyes
and their magical night together. He opened the bedroom door and
stumbled in to the hallway with a senseless smile on his face, nearly
walking in to his father as he was approaching Chris's bedroom. Chris
halted and backed-up, looking up in to his father's cheerful face.

"Oh, you're awake!" He said as if it was a huge achievement. "Your
mother thought you might've died in your sleep." He laughed and patted
Chris on the shoulder.

"No, I'm quite alive!" Chris smiled widely. "Just slept in is all."

"Yeah, Chris I'm sorry about last night. Your mother and I didn't get
back until pretty late and we figured you were already asleep."

"Don't worry about it." Chris said, feeling relieved that his parents
had gotten home late. "Ryan spent the night and we were pretty much
unconscious by eleven."

"That's nice." His father said uninterested and turned down the
hallway. "Well Chris I've got some work to do and your moms getting
ready to go to church so I guess you'll have the house to yourself again
unless you decide to go out."

"Alright." Chris said, his high mood starting to drop from the uncaring
tone of his father's voice, as if he was too busy to be interested in the
least about his son's life.

"Oh but before I forget," Mr. Banks said turning around again, "They're
lighting some fireworks at the beach tonight and it looks like it's going
to be a big barbeque. Hopefully you won't be too busy to show up."

"No, that sounds cool." Chris said, smiling again. "I'll see if maybe
Ryan wants to come and we can hang out there." As he suggested, he began
to conjure up thoughts of walking on the beach, holding Ryan's hand and
the two of them kissing under a shower of fireworks like they had two
years earlier.

"Sure, just remind him it's not a date!" He laughed as he strolled down
the hall, not looking back at Chris's blank face.

Chris knew his dad was just kidding-- he was sure that his parents had
no suspicion of his sexuality. Still, Chris had an uneasy feeling in his
stomach and he was sure that now it was only a matter of time before he
and Ryan were discovered. A touchy subject, but one that they would have
to consider. Hiding in the closet seemed to burden him with the weight
of the world and Chris was sure that coming out would be difficult-- the
hardest thing in his life-- but he also knew that if he had Ryan with
him, he could handle anything.

***

Ryan seemed to be floating on air all the way home. The whole world
seemed to be singing to him and the air smelled clean and light. Life
had never seemed so incredibly sweet. It was like he could do anything.
He felt like he could do no wrong. He felt like he was on top of the
world. He felt absolutely wonderful-- until he got home.

He snuck in through his back gate-- the way he always did to escape
getting caught. The yard wasn't nearly as well kempt as Chris's
backyard. The grass wasn't the brilliant shade of green, but instead a
dying yellow-ish color, and the flowers were now merely patches of weeds
outlining the back patio. Usually the poor sight of his once blooming
yard made Ryan think of his mother and the hours she used to spend
planting flowers and watering them under the hot sun. The dying yard
made it hard to believe that it had ever been cared for. In fact, it now
seemed hard for Ryan to believe that his mother had ever once actually
lived there with him-- or much less ever existed. After his parents
divorce, his mother had moved to Las Angeles where Ryan visited her
whenever their schedules allowed. Ryan knew that she didn't avoid
spending time with him-- she was in fact very busy working hard as a
writer-- but it angered him when he thought about how she left in such a
hurry without putting much thought into the affect it would have on her
son or her ex-husband. All in all, Ryan couldn't blame his mother, or
his father. Their divorce had been for the best.

Ryan tiptoed through the back door, leading in to kitchen. He wasn't
putting much thought in to sneaking in, as his mind was preoccupied with
thoughts of Chris. He could still feel Chris's breath on his neck and
the sound of him moaning his name. Smiling happily as he opened the
sliding glass door, he entered in to the kitchen and froze on the spot.
Standing in the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee was a woman in a small
pink nightgown. A woman he had never seen before in his life. She
looked up at him in surprise and smiled brightly, pulling back a long
piece of hair from her eye.

"You must be Ryan." She said through a smile. "You know your dad
thinks you're asleep in your room. It must've been some wild night if
you're just getting home now at eight in the morning!"

Ryan stared blankly at her with an open jaw. He had no idea how to
react to a complete stranger, half naked, talking casually to him in his
kitchen. Finally he choked out, "I, uh, spent the night at my friend's
house and forgot to call in."

"Oh, I see." The woman said and returned her focus to pouring the
coffee in to two mugs. "Well as long as you weren't out causing havoc on
the city."

"Uh, not to be rude, but who the hell are you and what are you doing in
my house?" Ryan asked after finally finding his voice. The woman turned
to him and started laughing as if he had made a very funny joke.

"You don't know?" She asked, seeing the seriousness in Ryan's face and
stopped laughing. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I thought your dad might've
mentioned me to you! You must think I'm some kind of lunatic, parading
around your kitchen in a nightgown, making coffee!"

Ryan was about to reply when his dad rounded the corner in to the
kitchen in his robe. He stood frozen when he spotted Ryan at the back
door with a look of confusion on his face.

"Ryan? What are you doing down here? I thought you were asleep." He
said nervously and tightened his robe around his waste.

"No... I spent the night at Chris's house and I forgot to call in...
Dad, who is this?" Ryan motioned to the woman who was now facing Mr.
Alder, not knowing quite what to say.

"Um, well... This is Deb-- Miss Larks... She's the new secretary for the
school, starting in the fall." He tried to explain casually, ignoring
the small fact that she was in her nightgown pouring coffee for the two
of them.

"Why is she here?" Ryan asked as if she wasn't in the room at all. His
eyes grew angry and focused on his father.

"Jim, I'd better go so you and Ryan can talk. I didn't know this would
be a big deal." Ms. Larks said as she started out of the kitchen.

"No Debbie, wait. It's not a big deal, that's why I should've told Ryan
earlier." He said holding her arm as she tried to leave.

"What? You mean you two are dating?" Ryan asked in disbelief. Over
the past year of his parents' separation his father had never dated
once or even expressed interest in dating or remarrying.

"Well yeah." He replied, sending a smile to Debbie. "I'm sorry I
didn't mention earlier. I guess it slipped my mind."

"Yeah, I guess so." Ryan said judgingly and walked around them out of
the kitchen to retreat to his room.

Ryan's thoughts of Chris had evacuated his mind and he was now trying to
filter out and concentrate on the shocking news he had just received. He
couldn't believe that his dad hadn't told him about a new girlfriend--
especially a rather young one like Debbie Larks. Ryan had always been
fairly close to his dad and since his parents divorce he had been even
closer with his dad. He didn't think either of them had too many secrets
from each other, but now he realized both their lives were complete
secrets. Just like his father had kept Debbie a secret, Ryan was keeping
his new relationship with Chris a secret. He knew the two were
completely different but at the center of reasoning the fact remained
that he and his father were keeping their lives secret and he hated it.

He closed his bedroom door and stripped off his day-old shirt to
retrieve a new one from his closet when the door opened again and his
father entered, looking slightly angry and slightly nervous. Ryan turned
to see him enter before turning back to his open closet, searching
through his rack of shirts. Mr. Alder closed the door behind him and
crossed the room, standing by Ryan's bed.

"Ryan I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Debbie but you don't need to be
rude to her because of it. She's actually really nice. I figured you
two would really hit it off." He said while looking down at where Ryan
had dropped his shirt.

"Well she seems nice." Ryan said without facing his father. "I just
don't really get why you didn't tell me you were dating someone.
Especially someone like her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mr. Alder asked curiously.

"Nothing. It's just... she's not exactly your age is she?" Ryan said
over his shoulder as he pulled a white shirt out of his closet and pulled
it over his head.

"No... Not exactly my age." Mr. Alder said, sounding slightly
embarrassed or ashamed. "Does that bother you?"

"No. Dad it's cool if you're dating someone. It was just a little
shocking."

"I guess it must've been a little awkward. I'm sorry about that. I
just... Well it's been difficult... you know, being alone this last
year. I was so used to being with someone. Even if our hands were
constantly at each other's throats." Mr. Alder sighed and looked up at
Ryan's serious face.

"I understand dad." Ryan said quietly acknowledging what his dad was
trying to say.

"Ryan, I'm not the best at giving fatherly advice but there's one tip I
have for you." He said as he rose and headed to the door. "Find
yourself a girl that you know you want to be with for the rest of your
life. Don't make any serious commitment until you're completely sure
that she's the one. You don't want to do anything on a half-feeling like
your mother and I did. It'll cost you in the end. Find yourself a great
woman that makes you feel like you're the greatest man in the world.
That's how you'll know you've got the right one. And I'll be proud to
know you took my advice and didn't make the same mistakes as I did."

The door closed again leaving Ryan alone in his room staring after his
father in silence. His words had cut deep in to him and he felt as if
his thoughts were going to start bleeding through his clean white shirt.

***

Their phone conversation had been short. Ryan had seemed anxious to get
off the phone, telling Chris that he had to finish work around his house
before the barbeque on the beach. He had rushed through his words as if
he was in a hurry to spit them out and hang up. But through Chris's ears
his voice had sounded as calm and sincere as it had when they had spilled
their hearts to each other the night before. He had hung up after Ryan
with a wide grin on his face; his heart fluttering. It was obvious to
him that he was head over heels in love and he was on a permanent high.
Chris set down his cell-phone and took a deep breath to breathe in the
complete beauty of his life before he headed to his room to find his best
outfit to look good for his evening on the beach with Ryan. He wanted to
look good for their kiss under the fireworks.

***

The familiar beach that Chris had visited nearly everyday of his life
suddenly looked very foreign. His stomach was full of butterflies as he
climbed out of his parents' car and walked in front of them on to the
soft sand plains where a growing crowd was forming what seemed to be a
huge party. Chris couldn't be less interested in the party that his
parents were scrambling anxiously to, hoping to see various friends and
associates. The only person on his mind, as usual, was Ryan, and he
wondered where he could be in the excited crowd of people. The sun was
setting and Chris knew fireworks would be set off within moments-- even
sooner if the crowds began to complain.

Chris strayed from his parents, who had already begun to ignore his
presence, and started scanning the ocean of faces for Ryan's familiar
smile. He had been waiting all day to see his boyfriend and it was
beginning to drive him crazy. He couldn't make a move without being
reminded of Ryan. Either he would seem something that brought him in to
thoughts or else his movements would trigger the slight discomforting
feeling in his ass that reminded him of his night with Ryan. Chris knew
that soon he was going to see Ryan's beautiful face and his sanity would
be reassured. Thinking back over the years, Chris realized how all of
his torment had been paid off and how much it had been worth it to suffer
alone since he was going to end up with Ryan in the end. It was funny,
he thought, how everything really did work out in the end.

After ten minutes of searching the crowds and running in to the same
people time and time again, Chris began to look for someone he knew to
ask if they had seen Ryan. He didn't have to look long before he ran
across Mark Whitman; a friend of Ryan's from the football team at
school. Mark was sitting back in a beach chair with a familiar looking
girl from school, sipping what was most likely a beer that he had snuck
from the adults, and trying his best to flirt without sounding stupid.
Chris approached casually, not wanting to sound too suspicious while
asking about Ryan.

"Hey Mark." He said casually as he approached the two of them. Mark
looked up and around before setting his eyes on Chris.

"Oh hey Chris. What's up?" He asked while he tried to casually move
his arm around his girl's shoulder.

"Not much. Hey, have you seen Ryan around here tonight? He was
supposed to be here." Chris hoped that Mark wouldn't read his mind and
discover what was going on, but he quickly realized how completely
impossible it would be for Mark to have super-mental abilities when he
struggled with average mental abilities.

"Yeah dude. Ryan's somewhere around here. I just saw him a few
minutes ago with Hannah." Mark said, turning his head to try and spot
Ryan.

"Hannah? You mean Hannah George?" Chris asked, in slight disbelief.
He knew Hannah from school where she was one of several reigning
teen-queens. Hannah was one of cheerleaders-- a beauty and a social
queen that had never said more than three words to him in his life.
Chris found it hard to believe that Hannah George would be talking to
Ryan unless he perhaps spilled mustard on her shirt.

"Yeah, Hannah George." Mark answered. "I think the two of them are
hooking up by the way they were acting. Has he said anything to you
about her?"

"No..." Chris choked out, feeling a strange emotion overwhelm his body
and mind.

"Well he's a fucking lucky little bastard if they're actually hooking
up. I mean, I thought Hannah was out of even his league."

Chris's head began to spin as his mind comprehended the situation he was
being addressed with. His legs began to feel weak and he was afraid he
was going to be sick from the combination of this news and the smell of
barbeque and sea-breeze. He turned away from Mark, trying to think
straight and maintain his balance. He took a deep breath and looked
around in all directions, hoping to see Ryan and put his mind to rest.

"I'll... I'll talk to you later Mark," Chris said as he tried to control
himself. "I need to talk to Ryan right now."

Chris hurried away from Mark who returned to talking with his girl. He
pushed his way through the crowd, focusing all his energy on finding Ryan
and taking him in to his arms. He didn't care if anyone saw. At the
moment it was completely necessary to find Ryan and make sure everything
was alright between them. He needed Ryan now more than ever before. The
feeling inside of him was spreading throughout his whole body and he was
aching painfully. His heartbeat sped up and echoed in his mind, so loud
so that it roared over the sound of the crowd, drowning out all voices
and sounds of the ocean. The only thing Chris could hear as he pushed
through an opening in the crowd and saw Ryan, was the sound of his heart
pounding in his chest-- ready to rupture.

The crowd disappeared from all around him as he stepped out in to the
open sand focusing his eyes on where Ryan was standing. The whole world
seemed to cease to exist as he found his target and pulled himself closer
to his destination. Chris's whole world was hanging in the balance as he
approached Ryan and let the scene soak in to his brain. Ryan was
standing under a darkened sky reflecting bits of light on to the ocean
waves. Next to him was Hannah George, looking up in to his eyes and
flashing her perfect smile. The two of them looked like actors in the
end of a movie, standing against a perfect backdrop. Chris's eyes began
to tear a bit as he scanned both their faces as they looked in to each
other's eyes. They seemed perfect-- standing in a golden moment.
Chris's body ached from the reality and before he could open his mouth to
speak, his heart shattered like glass as Ryan leaned in and kissed
Hannah, long and passionately like how they had kissed the night before.
The two of them stood close, connected tightly, as the sky was suddenly
lit up with a display of colorful fireworks.

The sky fell in heavy loads on to Chris's head and he felt as if he was
collapsing to the ground, choking for air for his flattened lungs. He
tried to breathe but his body seemed to literally be going in to shock as
he watched Ryan kiss Hannah, stroking his hand on her cheek and pulling
back her long red hair. Chris felt as if a train had hit him and he was
lying in the remains and ashes of the impact. His brain wanted to
explode. He wanted to scream at Ryan but his voice was absent. All he
could do was stand in silence.

His burning stare shot in to the back of Ryan's head as he was kissing
Hannah and as if he could feel Chris's presence, he pulled back from
Hannah and turned cautiously. Chris's face displayed an indescribable
emotion that Ryan had never witnessed before. He was frozen like a stone
with his crystal eyes locked on to the two of them together, beginning to
tear. He was perfectly still, not even appearing to breathe, just
watching in shock. Ryan gasped startled and pulled further away from
Hannah who was still looking up at Ryan as if he she hadn't noticed Chris
standing a few feet away.

"Chris!" Ryan gasped and looked frantically between his icy expression
and Hannah standing next to him, still entranced by their kiss. "Chris,
I..."

Ryan's loss of words didn't make a difference to their situation; Chris
just stared in to his eyes with a look of hurt and betrayal and utter
heartbreak. The two stared at each other for a few seconds reading the
story behind their eyes and comprehending. Ryan didn't need words to
explain what he had done because Chris understood exactly what had
happened. Chris finally took a shallow breath and swallowed hard trying
to control the tears that were fighting their way out of his eyes.

"Oh... Hi Chris..." Hannah said, finally noticing him and pulled back
her hair.

"Chris." Ryan repeated his name as if trying to ease him in to speech.
He took a step toward him, looking in to his eyes and Chris backed away
from him. He shook his head in disbelief and turned his back to them and
began to run back toward the crowd of people.

Watching Chris run away brought back the memory of the night when their
lives had changed and Ryan began to realize what he had done. The
reality of his action sunk in to his brain and he realized that he
could've just lost his best friend and whatever more Chris was to him
that he wasn't sure of. Ryan took a deep breath and clenched his fists
in intense anger at himself. Every thing inside of him told him to chase
after Chris and take him back in to his arms and apologize but he could
feel Hannah's hand grip his arm, restraining him.

"Ryan, what's that all about?" She asked.

"I... I don't know..." Chris said trying to force himself to turn and
look at Hannah's face but he couldn't. He knew he couldn't stand next to
her when the person he wanted to be with was running with pain. "I need
to go talk to him!" And he took off running in the direction Chris had
left, leaving Hannah standing alone in confusion.

***

Gasping for breath, Chris finally broke down and collapsed in the sand,
out of sight from the crowd of people and his preoccupied parents and
classmates. He couldn't hold back tears any longer and covered his face
with his hands, sobbing. His whole world was tearing apart piece by
piece. He felt like he was sinking and there was nothing to hold on to.
He couldn't do anything but sit under the blazing sky and cry out the
pain from his broken heart. Over and over again, all he could see behind
his tears was the image of Ryan kissing that self-obsessed bitch. The
very thought made Chris want to throw up at his feet but he felt as if he
was beyond the point of being sick. He had never endured such pain in
his life as he was enduring at the moment.

Chris felt completely alone in the world-- which wasn't entirely new to
him, but at the moment he felt as if he had never been more alone. There
wasn't a single soul that could touch him at the moment. No one could
help him relieve the pain he was feeling. No one except Ryan. But Chris
was sure Ryan wasn't going to try to help him.

"Chris..." He suddenly heard from behind him; a voice full of emotion.
Chris turned to face Ryan who was standing, out of breath, looking with
concern in to his hurt face. "Chris... My god... I'm... so..."

Chris jerked back in the sand, shocked that Ryan had left Hannah and
followed him. He quickly wiped his tears on his arm and turned his face
away from Ryan, unable to look at him.

"What?" Chris asked, not looking at Ryan. "What do you want Ryan?
What can you possibly want from me now?" He spoke in hurt and anger.

"Chris, I'm so sorry about that..."

"About what?! What the fuck was that?!"

"I... I don't know Chris..."

"How can you not fucking know, Ryan?!" Chris screamed, turning to face
him, tears beginning to stream again. Ryan just stood frozen, watching
him and fighting the necessary urge to break down in to his arms.

"I'm sorry..." He choked out as a tear slid down his face.

"Ryan, I don't understand this!" Chris said, crying. "Last night you
told me you loved me...You said you wanted to be with me like I want to
be with you... and tonight you're kissing that fucking bitch! Ryan...I
love you..."

"I'm sorry Chris... " Ryan said holding his breath, trying to make
himself appear stronger than he really was. "I can't be with you..."

Chris just looked up in to his serious eyes for a few moments in
complete shock and hurt again. He could tell how serious Ryan was from
the look in his eyes. Ryan wasn't budging from his stand. He was secure
and confident as he looked down at Chris. He knew exactly what he was
saying and exactly what his words were doing in consequence.

"Chris, I can't be gay... I'm sorry but it doesn't work in to the
fucking equation of my life!" Ryan shouted, adding strength to his
words. Chris sat in silence, breathing harshly as he studied his
expressions. He looked completely speechless with a burning intensity in
his eyes. "I'm not gay Chris. I'm sorry but I can't be and am not
gay..." Ryan concluded and stared confidently in to Chris with his mind
made up.

Chris didn't move. A second train had just collided with him,
shattering his already fragile state. He looked in to Ryan's serious
eyes looking for any shred of hidden emotion but saw nothing. He studied
his face as it was lit up by the fireworks above their heads, spreading
small bursts of light in to the darkness of their conversation. The only
thing present in his eyes was a look of complete sureness. Chris wiped
away one last tear that was rolling down his cheek and stood up, glaring
in to Ryan's confident face and spoke in a violent hiss.

"Then why did you fuck a guy Ryan?" He asked, glaring. "Why did you
fuck me and let me fuck you Ryan? We had sex Ryan... It was more than
just sex, there were feelings in it, but that doesn't change the fact
that we had sex. If you're not gay then why did you put your dick up
another guy's ass?"

"Chris..." Ryan said calmly, trying to reach out to Chris with apology
but Chris's expression of anger and heartbreak kept him restrained.

"Ryan," Chris said softly backing away, "...I love you."

He turned sharply and ran along the beach without looking back. He knew
Ryan wasn't following him anymore and he knew that his parents didn't
care about where he was while they were enjoying their party. He knew he
was now alone, running away from the one thing that he wanted more than
anything else in the whole world. The only person he had ever loved had
betrayed him and broken his heart. He didn't care about where he was
running to or what he would do when he got there. The sound of the
roaring ocean waves tempted him to run in to the sea and not look back,
but he kept running along the coast, trying to get as far away from his
life as he possibly could.

And Ryan watched him run. He stood perfectly still, unable to go after
him. His chest was aching and his head was spinning. He didn't take his
eyes off of Chris until he had completely faded in to the deep blackness
of the beach. He told himself that he had done the right thing but he
couldn't will away the overwhelming pain and he couldn't shake the
feeling that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

To be continued...