Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 04:42:24 EDT
From: RainDude099@aol.com
Subject: Cali Boys  chapter eight

This story is a work of fiction intended for a mature audience. All
Similarities between characters in the story and people in real life are
completely coincidental. This story depicts homosexual acts so if you do
not approve of this subject, please do not read any further.
This story is copyrighted by the author and may not be copied without the
written permission of the author, Scott MG.

Sorry it's been so long. I've been really busy. Well here is the latest
chapter. Hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait... I promise to
get chapter 9 out as soon as I can-- I hate making you wait!


Cali Boys
Chapter Eight


Jake's bedroom lit up with the early morning sunlight, casting slight
shadows on the walls and giving life to the world after a long night.
The element of lighting brought Chris back to the morning when he woke up
after making love with Ryan. For a fraction of a second Chris wondered
if he was dreaming and remembering that morning. But as Chris slowly
opened his eyes and looked around slightly, he realized this wasn't his
room or his bed and the boy next to him wasn't Ryan.

Chris couldn't remember the last time he had felt so peaceful and happy
with life. He felt as if everything was right with the world as he laid
still watching Jake sleep. Just the look on Jakes face made Chris
smile. There was something truly special about this guy, Chris thought.
From the night that he had approached him in the mall, Chris could tell
that Jake was special. He was so confident yet so careful. He was able
to present himself perfectly and genuinely. He was nice, funny, smart,
very attractive-- everything Chris could want in a boyfriend, and the
thought that he had this boy laying next to him in bed made Chris smile
and his heart blur.

As if Jake could feel Chris's eyes, he slowly opened his own and
immediately focused on Chris's smile, smiling himself. The two of them
just laid still for another moment in silence while they looked deeply in
to each others eyes and smiled happily. It was obvious to Chris that
Jake was feeling a lot of the same emotions that he was feeling. The
look of complete happiness in his bright green eyes made Chris reach out
and softly rub his arm. Jake smiled wider at Chris's touch and burried
his face in his pillow to hide his happiness.

"How long were you watching me sleep?" He asked through the pillow.

"Not too long babe," Chris smiled and continued to rub his arm. He
took a long breath and watched Jake roll over on to his back and stretch
his arms. "Wow." Chris sighed.

"Wow what?" Jake asked as he put his arms behind his head and turned,
smiling, to Chris.

"I just can't get over how beautiful you are..." Chris said carefully,
as if he was afraid to let out his feelings. Jake's smile faded for a
moment and then reappeared even brighter.

"... Chris, if you say things like that I might start to fall in love
with you..." Jake said happily.

"Would that be a bad thing?" Chris asked seriously and Jake smiled
again. He leaned over Chris and kissed him softly on the lips and
brushed his fingers through his hair.

"No, of course not." He said and he laid back again.

After a long moment of laying silently and breathing deeply in the
feeling of the bright new morning, Chris turned to Jake and lowered his
eyes.

"Jake, I'm really sorry about last night..." He said lowly as the
memory returned to his consciousness.

"Chris it's not your fault that Ryan was at The Scene and left with that
stranger. That was a pretty fucked up and dangerous thing to do."

"I don't understand how he got in there in the first place." Chris
said. "I thought it was an 18 and older club. Shouldn't they check ID?"

"They do." Jake said as he scratched the back of his head. "Maybe he
just snuck in, Chris."

"I hope he's alright." Chris said bluntly as he stared straight above
him at the ceiling. "I hope he didn't get in to any kind of trouble last
night."

"I'm sure he'll call you to talk about all of that Chris. You don't
have to worry about him." Jake said. "Besides, after everything that
happened between you two I wouldn't be surprised if you both needed a
break from your friendship while you're both moving on."

"Yeah... I just hope Ryan isn't moving on in the wrong direction."
Chris sighed. "I'd hate to see him ruin his life."

"I'm sure he's smart enough not to do anything too stupid Chris." Jake
smiled and brushed Chris's cheek with his hand. "He must not be too bad
of a guy if you fell in love with him afterall... I know you've got
pretty good taste in guys, that's why you're with me right?" He laughed
and Chris smirked.

"That's right." Chris laughed shortly and he looked deeply in to Jake's
eyes. He felt so comfortable with Jake and so happy knowing that he was
with him.

Jake shifted in bed and sat up, letting the sheets slide off his body,
revealing his bare tanned skin. Chris's eyes scanned his body from his
shoulders, down his strong back to the top of his bare ass. He realized
he was experiencing a mixture of lust and at the same time, a much more
pure emotion. Jake stretched again as he swung his bare legs over the
side of the bed and pulled himself to his feet, standing completely naked
in front of Chris. He stretched his legs and placed his hands on his
hips as he turned to smile at Chris, who was still staring lustfully.

"You must like what you see." He chuckled and showed off his ass as he
crossed the room to pick up his jeans from the pile he had dropped them
in the night before.

"You have a great ass Jake," Chris said with a fixed stare. "You should
be modeling underwear instead of those sunday morning ads."

"Chris, if I was an underwear model," Jake said as he slipped his feet
in to his jeans. "I'd have to actually wear underwear." He pulled up
his jeans over his bare skin and carefully tucked away his dick and his
balls before zipping his fly and smiling warmly at Chris.

"You're too hot." Chris smiled and sat up on the edge of the bed. "I
should've fucked you last night when I had the chance."

"Don't worry about that babe. Last night was a little hectic, probably
not the best night for sex. And it's not like we're in any hurry Chris,"
Jake said as pulled a shirt out of his closet. "We just started going
out last night."

***

Thirty minutes later Jake and Chris, both fully showered and dressed,
wondered in to the kitchen where Shari was drinking her morning coffee
and reading the newspaper. She set her cup aside and watched, hiding her
smile behind the paper, as her son crossed the kitchen and took a bagel
from the counter then returned to the living room where Chris was
finishing stuffing his dirty shirt in to his bag. Shari moved her chair
around the kitchen table in order to see in to the living room and watch
the two of them. She couldn't help but grin widely as she lifted her cup
to her lips to took a sip; burning her tongue she cursed the coffee and
reached her finger to her tongue to make sure the burn wasn't too bad.

Chris sighed sadly as he lifted his bag and started towards the door.
Jake moved with him and leaned against the wall, holding Chris's arm back
to prevent him from leaving. He gave him a sad, wishful eyes and rubbed
his arm, trying to persuade him to stay longer. It seemed to both of
them, as if they had only been together for a brief moment before they
were being taken apart once again. Chris sighed and

"I wish I didnt have to leave yet Jake." He said sadly. "Stupid
buses..."

"I know. But we don't live that far away and we're going to hang out
later." Jake gave him a reassuring smile. "I don't care what we do
Chris-- go to the mall, the beach, The Scene, whatever you want. As long
as I'm with you..."

"You're sweet Jake," Chris said and pulled him in to hug him. "I can't
wait to see you again."

"Me either," Jake said, lowering his voice as he held Chris tightly in
his strong arms. "We won't wait too long."

Chris grasped his bag and opened the front door, preparing to walk out
when Jake pulled him closer again and leaned in carefully, pressing his
lips against Chris's. Chris melted in to Jake's kiss and they held each
other tightly for another long moment while Shari smiled ecstatically
from the kitchen table. When Jake finally pulled back from Chris he gave
a bright smile, hoping to keep Chris from seeing the dissapointment in
his eyes. It was a little shocking to him, how much he liked Chris after
only knowing him for a week. He didn't want Chris to leave him and it
hurt to know that they were going to be apart, if only for a day.

"Good bye," Chris said quietly as he took a step out the door, slowly.

"Good bye Chris!" Shari called and waved from the kitchen. "Come back
real soon, even if its just to see me!" Chris laughed and waved back to
her.

"Alright Ms. Shepard!" He called before turning back to Jake. He could
see the emotions Jake was hiding in his eyes and he gave him a loving
smile. "Bye Jake... I'll see you soon."

Jake watched motionlessly from the doorway as Chris walked across the
small front lawn and down the sidewalk, turning every few seconds to look
back over his shoulder and smile. Jake laughed at himself for being so
childish-- getting upset just because he couldn't be with his boyfriend
all of the time. And suddenly the fact hit him head on: Chris was his
boyfriend. The day before had been exciting and crazy. He had seen a
completely different side of Chris at The Scene and seen exactly what
could upset him the most. It was like watching a slide-show of Chris's
life-- all sides of him-- leading up to the moment when they were lying
in bed that night and Chris had asked him, so perfectly, to be his
boyfriend. Standing silently at the front door, Jake realized how stupid
it was to be upset after he had just had one of the best nights of his
entire life.

Shari stood up from the kitchen table and crossed in to the living room,
coming up behind Jake and placing her hand on his shoulder. He turned
around and gave her a questioning look, trying hard not to smile and give
it all away.

"You must have had some night, eh?" She asked and headed back to the
kitchen.

"We didn't have sex Mom, I promise." Jake said, hoping to prevent any
further questioning on the topic.

"I know. I trust you Jake. You won't do anything like that until
you're ready." She said as she reached her cup of coffee on the kitchen
table and turned back to him. "I'm just... I'm really happy for you
Jake."

"Thanks Mom." He smiled and looked at the ground, feeling his cheeks
turn red.

"Chris seems like a really nice guy... I'm sure he'll be a great
boyfriend." She said intuitively,smiled, and gave him a wink as she
turned toward the bathroom. Jake turned back to the front door and
looked in the direction that Chris had left in.

"He already is..." He said to himself, still smiling.

***

The rain dripping from Chris's hair and down his face made him even more
attractive, Ryan thought as he stood opposite him. Both of them were
soaked in the rainstorm that had arrived so suddenly without warning, but
neither of them cared. It was almost as if they didn't notice it was
raining at all. The streams of cold water running down their faces
didn't phase either one of them. They kept their eyes locked on each
others and couldn't seem to break away. Chris started to breathe more
heavily and his bottom lip trembled as he looked deeply in to Ryans
eyes. He couldn't bear to look away and neither could Ryan. It was as
if they feared that by looking away, one of them would vanish in to the
rain and their last chance to be together would end. Ryan had already
lost Chris once and he didn't intend to lose him again.

The city around them seemed to be giving off a beautiful blue light
which lit up Chris's face and emphasized his piercing eyes. He looked so
perfect standing in front of Ryan, so completely perfect-- almost as if
he had been painted in to the scene, surrounded by the glowing night life
of the city and the rain falling upon him. The entire scene was enough
to take Ryan's breath away. He stood frozen in awe at the beauty of the
painting he was taken in to. As he stood in amazement, Chris finally
took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"Ryan," He said with an emotional voice, sounding like he was trying to
hold back tears. "Ryan how could we let this happen to us? We were best
friends Ryan... How did we lose that? How did I lose you?"

"You didn't lose me Chris... I was so stupid to hurt you like that..."
Ryan finally spoke and he reached out to comfort Chris, whose eyes were
beginning to tear.

"Ryan I got over that heartbreak..." Chris said, his voice trembling.
"What I can't get over is losing you as a friend... How did we let that
happen? How could we?" He cried.

"I'm so sorry Chris," Ryan said and he realized that he was beginning to
cry as well. "I'm sorry about everything... I-- we, never should have
let that happen to us... But it's not too late... Chris, I still want to
be your friend... I really do... It hurts so bad when I'm not with you...
But it hurts just as bad when I'm with you and I know-- I know that I
can't reach out and touch you... I don't know if I can be just your
friend Chris... as much as I want to be, I don't think I can be just a
friend... I don't think I can stand that kind of pain..." Ryan didn't
bother to hold back his tears for sake of remaining manly. "I'm.. I'm
sorry..."

Chris's lip trembled again and his tears continued to roll down his
cheeks, blending perfectly with the rain drops on his face. His chest was
rising slowly under strain and Ryan could tell it was just as hard for
him to breathe at the moment as it was for himself. The air had suddenly
become heavy on their lungs and it only added to the constant ache.

"I know you love me Ryan..." Chris said as he reached out and put his
hand on his cheek. "It's the greatest sense of security knowing that
you'll always love me... And you know that I love you too... And I will
always love you..."

Chris's words broke through the pain in Ryan's heart at the same time
Chris moved in closer to Ryan's face and the two of them stopped
breathing at the instant their lips finally touched. Neither of them
cared that the rain was pouring down more fiercly than before and neither
of them cared that they were standing on the street while cars sped by
them, each giving off another strike of intense, eerie blue light. Their
kiss seemed as if it would last forever-- nothing could stop it. The
rain pouring down on them, streaming down their faces, didn't phase them
in the least. Ryan held on to Chris tightly as they continued to kiss in
the rain. His hands moved over Chris's strong back and he felt the back
of Chris's head, running his fingers through his soaking-wet hair. He
didn't need to stop kissing to breath because that would mean letting
part of Chris go. He would never let him go.

"Ryan..." Chris whispered as he broke away. "Ryan, I..." His voice
seemed to dissapear in the sound of the rain as it was beating down on
the cement beneath them. "Ryan..." His voice continued to fade in to
the background noise until there was no sound escaping his mouth. He
looked deeply in to Ryan's eyes and mouthed the final three words...

"Ryan!" The voice shouted over Chris's as it had faded. A deeper voice
was now booming in the place of Chris's and Ryan felt a strong shove on
his arm. In the blink of an eye, everything dissapeared from in front of
him. The blue light of the city swallowed the entire scene and Ryan was
left with a blinding white light in his eyes. When it cleared he saw
that he was staring up in to the face of a tall black-haired guy,
standing over him in bed. Within an instant of regained consciousness,
Ryan remembered exactly where and with whom, he had spent the night.

"Ryan, we overslept." The guy said frantically. "My parents are going
to be home in like twenty fucking minutes! I'm sorry bro, but you gotta
leave-- Now!" He pulled Ryan up in to a sitting position in bed where
Ryan wiped his eyes and ran his hands through his hair.

"Oh... Oh God I'm sorry man." He said, still dazed from the impact of
his dream. "I didn't mean to oversleep."

"I know. It's not your fault, but my parents will be home soon so
please, get up!" He urged and he proceeded to pull a wifebeater over his
head and over his muscular body.

"No problem." Ryan said as he stood up and out of bed. He reached down
to his feet and picked up his red shirt, pulling it over his head. "I'm
sorry about making you rush Sean... Where are my pants?" Ryan asked as
he looked down to his naked lower half, his dick hanging freely and
uncovered.

"Here," Sean said and tossed Ryan his pair of crumpled jeans. "Don't be
sorry though Ryan, I should've set the alarm. And it's not like I
wouldn't have rushed to clean the house before they got home anyway!" He
laughed but Ryan couldn't seem to find humor.

Ryan pulled up his jeans and zipped them before slipping on his shoes,
not bothering to tie them, and heading towards the bedroom door. "I'll
let myself out." He said.

"Alright," Sean said as he finished making up the bed while Ryan exited
the room quietly. "Oh hey Ryan!" He called after him and Ryan turned,
poking his head back in the door.

"Yeah? Did I forget anything?"

"No, just... Thanks for last night..." Sean smiled widely as if he was
reliving their night entirely. "You were amazing!"

Ryan nodded and gave a weak smile before saying, "See you at The Scene
then..." He turned and left the room without enthusiasm.

***

Ryan wasn't too phased by his dream. He had been dreaming of Chris
nearly every other night for the past week and even though none of his
previous dreams had been that intense, he tried not to put too much
thought in to it as he walked down the unfamiliar street on his way to
the bus stop. Ryan was trying as hard as he could not to think about
Chris, or the possibility of reconciling their friendship. It had been
five days since they had last talked-- that night at The Scene when he
had found him dancing with that same blonde-haired boy. The night that
he had left with an older man to spend the night with him. It wasn't a
very good way to end a friendship but Ryan was sure there wasn't any good
way to end one-- especially a friendship that had been as strong as
theirs. He felt it was best that they part ways and go on with their own
separate lives. Obviously Chris had found someone new and Ryan felt that
even if he hadn't found someone, he should let Chris think he had. By
now, Ryan was sure that Chris had stopped thinking about him.

As he walked down the sidewalk, passing faceless people, Ryan realized
the sky was being covered by thick grayish clouds and it looked as if it
would rain. It was so extremely rare for it to rain in Long Beach in the
middle of the summer. The air was still hot, reminding Ryan that it was
early august, but the feeling of coming rain seemed to creatre a foriegn
feeling. While Ryan was looking up at the sky for a moment he suddenly
overheard a familiar voice. He turned his attention to the Cafe on his
left where people were crowding around the counters and talking in
couples at the small tables around the store. Ryan stopped searching the
people in the shop, realizing the voice wasn't who he thought it was. He
started to turn back to walking down the street when he saw the familiar
smile and a flash of the familiar bright blue eyes. Ryan nearly gasped
outloud when he saw Chris sitting at one of the tables, talking with the
blonde guy from The Scene.

"Mom, your customers are waiting!" The blonde guy said, turning to face
a short curly haired women who was fixing several cups of coffee behind
the counter. "Shouldn't you improve on speed of service if you want to
buy this place? How are you going to handle running this place without
Mary working here anymore?"

"Jake, shut up or else I'll make you put on the apron and you'll be
joining my workforce!" She replied in what seemed like only a
half-serious voice. Both Chris and the blonde-haired Jake laughed.

"I'd love to help you Mom but I'm busy!" He called back while he was
facing Chris, who was scribbling quickly on a pad of paper.

"Busy? You're just watching him write!" His mother said as she handed
a cup to the man closest to the counter. "Chris, hit him for me!"

Ryan still stood frozen at the doorway as he watched Chris look up from
his writing and smile happily at the guy next to him. Suddenly the ache
Ryan had felt for weeks came back full force and he started to turn to
leave. Still something held him there, watching Chris's smiling face--
he couldn't bear to turn away and leave after not seeing him for days.
Then, as if he had detected his prescence, Chris turned slowly to face
the door and his eyes met Ryans. His smile faded momentarily and he
stared long and hard, in disbelief.

"Ryan?" He said quietly to himself at first. "Ryan! Hey!" He called
and waved to him, shocking Ryan who stumbled over backwards. "Get over
here!"

Ryan took a deep breath and wondered carefully in to the store. Chris
smiled greetingly but Ryan couldn't help but notice the worried
expression that swept over Jake's face. At the counter, Shari continued
to fill the customer's cups but converted most of her attention to the
scene in front of her. Ryan gave an awkward smile to Chris as he
approached them at their table. Chris stood up and continued smiling
confidently.

"Hi Chris." Ryan said, forcing a half-happy voice. "How have you
been?"

"Well fine I guess! Just laying around all the time you know? Only a
month left of summer so I might as well not worry too much about getting
a job!" He laughed and turned to Jake was still sitting and giving Ryan
a suspicious look. "Oh hey, this is Jake Shepard." Chris motioned to
Jake and he and Ryan exchanged half-smiles. "Jake's mom works here."

"What's up?" Ryan asked casually and Jake nodded acknowledgingly.
Chris locked his eyes on Ryans and took a deep breath, nervously.

"Jake... is my boyfriend." He stated calmly, not caring who in the
store heard. He was sure Ryan suspected but he wanted to make it
completely final.

"Oh, that's... That's great!" Ryan smiled brightly and nodded to Jake.
"I'm glad for you guys!"

"Thanks..." Chris said, a little surprised by Ryan's reaction. "How
about you though? How have you been?"

"You know, the usual... I tried to find a job but that didn't go too
well." He laughed. "So I've been killing time at the beach and... well,
checking out the night life..." He dropped his voice and Chris's smile
faded a little as he understood exactly what night life Ryan meant.

"Ryan, do you want to hang out with us for a while?" Jake asked in a
friendly voice, not wanting to seem like an asshole at first meeting.
"We're just sitting around but we could go someplace or something!"

"Well actually I have to go home. My bus picks up in a few mintues and
my dad wants me home for who knows what!" He forced another smile and
started to turn toward the door. Chris didn't bother to copy the smile--
he could see Ryan's true emotions in his dark eyes.

"Maybe tomorrow?" Jake asked, standing up.

"Yeah, of course! We should all definately hang out!" He smiled again,
looking between Jake's offering smile and Chris's now cold eyes. "I'm
sorry I have to rush out but I'll give you a call Chris. We'll hang out
soon or something!" Chris nodded and smiled weakly as Ryan reached the
door. "Nice to meet you Jake! Good to see you Chris..."

Ryan hurried out the door and down the street out of sight as quickly as
he could. He wanted to escape Chris's burning eyes as fast as he could.
As much as he tried to hide it for Chris, he was aching inside knowing
that Chris and Jake were together. He couldn't stand to remain with them
while Chris was looking at him like that. He wanted to get as far away
from Chris as he could and try again to erase all thoughts of him. Ryan
knew that he was only hurting himself by staying in contact with him and
as much as he hated to lose Chris all-together, he couldn't stand the
pain anymore.

In the cafe, Chris watched until Ryan was out of sight before he turned
back to Jake who gave him a concerned look. He put his worries away and
tried to smile for Jake but somehow it didn't feel like he was smiling.

"Crazy ole' Ryan," He laughed. "Always rushing off." Chris sat back
down and started to write again; scribbling his lyrics on to the paper in
an unorganized fashion.

"Chris, are you ok?" Jake asked worriedly, placing his hand on his
shoulder. "Everytime you see Ryan, you seem to get this weird look."

"I'm fine Jake... It's just... I dont know..." Chris said, holding his
forehead, feeling the beginning of a headache.

"Jake, who was that?" Shari asked as she finished helping the last
customer and started wiping her hands on her apron.

"Just a friend of Chris's." Jake said, still looking at Chris with
worry.

"At least he used to be..." Chris added sadly, still looking down at his
paper and moving his hand in a writing motion, unable to actually write
anything. "But now... now he just treats me like I'm some guy from
school! We were best friends and its like he doesn't even give a fuck
about any of that!" Chris clenched the pencil tightly as the slight
anger grew in his voice.

"Maybe that's my fault Chris." Jake said. "It must've been pretty hard
for him to go from being friends with you to being... whatever you
were... and then back to friends. And now he has to see you with me...
He probably hates it."

"I just never thought I'd lose his friendship..." Chris said sadly,
looking up from the papers to the front window of the cafe.

"I'm sorry Chris... I can't help feeling like I'm responsible for
that..." Jake said and he rubbed Chris's arm. Shari stopped watching
the two of them and entered the back room for a moment to gather
supplies.

"Don't think it's your fault Jake..." Chris looked up at him after a
long moment. "Ryan is just going through a lot I guess. It's not your
fault for any of this..." Chris ignored the looks of the few people in
the cafe and put his hand on Jakes'. "You're great to me, and Ryan
should be happy for us... It isn't your fault."

Jake smiled brightly and beamed at the sight of Chris smiling back at
him. He took the paper out from under Chris's hand and read over the
side notes Chris had been adding to his song. When he saw the last line,
his smile dropped: It read, "Is there room to reconcile?"

***

The pulsing beat of the music surrounded Jake as he pushed his way
through the crowds in The Scene. He ignored the familiar faces of people
he knew and shoved through the people he didn't know. The flashing
multi-colored lights swept over the crowd of dancing men and only helped
to confuse Jake as he searched the faces for the one he was looking for.

Jake stood on the balcony level of The Scene, overlooking the dance
floor. He scanned the entire area around him for any sign of Ryan and
then moved his attention to the lower level, over the half-naked bodies,
dancing to the beat. After several minutes Jake caught glimpse of Ryan's
face; he was sitting at a table with a couple of younger men, and
appeared to be laughing. Jake took a deep breath and prepared to
confront him as he pushed back through the crowd and down the stairs.

As he found a clear path around the untamed dance floor, Jake felt
several hands reach out to tug at his shirt, hoping to pull it off of his
body and lure him in to the dance floor. If he hadn't been so focused on
his destination, Jake would have given in to the hypnosis of the dance
floor and the feeling of being lost in the music. Even now, as he came
closer to Ryan, he could feel the music calling to him-- begging him to
join the ocean of bodies moving to its beat. A few feet away, Ryan
leaned back in his seat and scratched the back of his head, while the guy
next to him smiled admiringly. From where Jake was standing he could see
the looks on the two mens' faces, the way Ryan seemed to enchant them,
and he could tell that what Dan had said about Ryan was true; he was on
his way to becoming a club legend.

Jake finally reached Ryan's table, standing behind him, he swallowed and
then tapped him on the shoulder. Ryan stopped in the middle of his
sentence and turned around with a large smile. When he set his eyes on
Jake's serious face his eyes widened and he smiled brighter.

"Hey! Jake, right?" He said happily and scanned the area around him
for a sight of Chris. "Whats up man? You're out alone tonight?"

"Sort of... Chris doesn't know I'm here." Jake said seriously. "I'm
came to talk to you."

"Oh cool. You want to sit down with me and Paul and Sean?" He asked
friendly and motioned to an empty seat next to a cute guy wearing an
out-of-place cowboy hat.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you in private Ryan." Jake said. Ryan's
smiled dropped and he turned to his friends who seemed to be waiting to
fall over his every word.

"Alright then... Guys, I'm going to talk to my boy Jake for a minute."

"What about us babe?" The cute cowboy asked as he scratched his
stubble-covered chin.

"I don't know... give each other head or something!" He laughed and the
two guys looked flirtaciously at each other. "I'll be right back." Ryan
stood up from his table and followed Jake, who sighed with slight
nervousness, toward the exit.

When they reached the outside, Ryan took a deep breath of the cool night
air before turning to Jake who had his arms crossed, displaying a very
serious face. He tapped his arm while he tried to think of what he would
say.

"Well Jake... What's going on? I didn't expect you to come talk to
me." Ryan said, still smiling as if he was with one of his club friends.

"Ryan, I just thought maybe you and I should talk. I mean we don't know
each other at all and that seems kind of sad considering we have so much
in common." Jake said as he came closer to Ryan.

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, dropping his smile and his
light-hearted attitude. "What are you talking about Jake?"

"I'm talking about Chris..." Jake sighed. "Ryan, I know you two have
history... a lot of history. I know you two went through a lot and I
know things didn't end that well for you two. You probly don't even want
to talk about any of this... especially with me... But I just wanted to
let you know that Chris is really upset about it all."

"Yeah?" Ryan asked, half-surprised.

"Yeah... Not so much about you leaving The Scene that night with that
stranger and going home with him, but more about the fact that you don't
even want to be friends with him anymore after what you two went
through. That really hurts him Ryan... and I don't like to see him
hurt."

"First of all," Ryan announced, taking a serious tone in his voice. "I
didn't go home with that guy last week. I only made it one block before
I told him I needed to go home instead. And second, can you blame me for
not wanting to be Chris's friend after what we went through?!" Ryan
raised his voice, the anger growing. "We put each other through hell
Jake... I've never been more fucked up over something than I was over
Chris!"

"You think I don't understand that Ryan? I know you were upset, you
were both fucked up about it! The night I met Chris, he was about to
have a mental breakdown because of what you did to him!" Jake was
practically screaming. "I've never seen anyone more fucked up over a
break-up!"

"Yeah, well think of how I felt about it? Having to tell the guy you
love that you can't be together because your parents wont accept it?! It
was the most painful thing I ever had to do!" Tears started to form in
Ryan's eyes. "And then when I went to take it back... I find him kissing
you outside his house!!! The night we break up, he's already moved on
and found someone else-- someone better... You know how fucked up I was?
I'll tell you Jake... I tried to fucking kill myself over that!!! I went
home and I tried to take a fucking blade to my wrists!!! If my dad
hadn't been there I would've... I would've..." Ryan broke down and tears
started rolling down his cheeks. Jake stood with a dropped jaw in shock
at what he was hearing. He watched as Ryan slipped down to his knees on
the sidewalk and started crying, hiding his face in his hands and
clenching his teeth.

"Oh my god..." Jake said quietly, looking around to make sure no one was
witnessing Ryan's break down. "Ryan... I'm so sorry. I had no fucking
idea about any of that..." Ryan looked up at him from the ground in
front of him.

"Do you know how much it hurts everytime I even think about him? I'm
trying my best to get over him, and I really am happy that you guys are
happy together but I..." Ryan looked down again at the cement, realizing
exactly how much he had let out in his anger. He couldn't take back his
words.

"I understand." Jake said after a long moment. He knelt down to Ryan
and put his hand on his shoulder. "I understand how you feel and I
understand if you hate me for everything Ryan... I really am sorry for
this. I just wanted to see if I could help you and Chris fix your
friendship... He can't stand the thought of losing you as a friend, and
as much as I know it hurts you to be around him, around us... I think
deep down you really want to be his friend-- no matter how much it hurts
at first."

Ryan looked at him through red eyes as Jake stood up and wiped a tear
from his own eye.

"Ryan... I'm going back to my house." Jake said calmly. "My mom is
having this party thing for her friend because she's quitting work at the
cafe. Chris is there. I just wanted to see if I could get you to come
back with me and maybe there'd be a chance that you two could reconcile
and then we could all be, I don't know, friends or some shit..." He
turned away from Ryan as he spoke. "But I understand that you're not
ready, and that you've got some guys waiting for you inside..." He took
a deep breath. "But if you decide that you want to give this a try...
then you have about three minutes to catch up with me before I get to the
bus..."

He turned, coldly, and walked down the street away from Ryan. The
lights from the streetlights and the neon-signs casted an eerie glow over
him as he walked toward the corner, not looking back. Ryan couldn't seem
to pull himself to his feet. His head was spinning at a thousand miles
an hour as he tried to understand exactly what had just been said. A
thousand voices screamed in his head as he sat there on the ground, his
eyes still burning. He looked up one last time to see Jake reach the
corner. He knew in a moment he would cross the street and be on his way
home to Chris...

***

Twenty minutes later the front door of the Shepards' home opened. Chris
was standing in the kitchen helping Shari poor drinks and fill bowls of
chips for the growing number of party guests for Mary Grey's good-bye
party. For Chris it was a perfect way to escape his problems. He didn't
have to think about Ryan or his family or anything while he was working.
Shari joked with him like a friend and for a moment Chris wished that he
could take Mary's job at the cafe just to keep himself busy and to be
able to hang out with Jake's mom. He was so happy to be welcomed in to
their family. At moments, Chris forgot that Shari wasn't his mother at
all-- not even his mother-in-law. As he realized that, Chris came to the
conclusion that he wouldn't mind becoming a permanent part of the Shepard
family. When the front door opened, Chris turned excitedly, hoping to
see Jake enter. When he saw him step in to the house Chris smiled widely
and hurried over to him, leaving Shari to finish pouring the drinks.

"Jake! Finally!" Chris said as he wrapped his arms around him and
embraced his boyfriend. Jake smiled warmly and hugged him tight. "I was
wondering why you were taking so long. I've been helping your mom."

"Sorry about the wait!" Jake said as he let Chris go.

"Where have you been?" Shari asked from the kitchen. "You left your
boyfriend to do the dirty work mister. I wouldn't be surprised if you
dont get any ass tonight!" Jake and Chris both turned to her and stared
in disbelief.

"Mom!" Jake gasped and gave a short laugh. "I was out looking for
someone..." He turned to the door and opened it so that Ryan could step
inside. Chris dropped his jaw again as he saw Ryan enter, looking
nervously at Chris.

"Hey..." He said. "Hope you don't mind a party crasher."

"Mom this is Ryan," Jake said. "Our friend Ryan."

"Nice to meet you," Shari said as she gather several bowls of junk food
and headed to the party room. "Now if you all excuse me, I have a
hundred people out there demanding fattening junk foods to clog their
arteries! Boys, not to be rude, but if you're not going to help out then
get out of my house!" She laughed and motioned toward the door.

"Alright, alright! We'll leave!" Jake laughed as he opened the door
and led Chris and Ryan out on to the front porch and then around to the
small back deck. Once the three of them had sat down on the deck chairs,
Chris finally looked over calmly to Ryan.

"Didn't expect to see you here." He said cautiously, afraid to make
Ryan leave.

"Don't you like surprises?" Ryan said and smiled sincerely. Chris
laughed shortly and smiled, looking down at his feet. "Jake and I had a
good conversation earlier and I decided that since I didn't have anything
that important to do... maybe I'd come hang out with you guys for a while
tonight."

"Better than sitting at home, right dude?" Jake asked and stood up from
his seat. "But you know, I think we could use a few drinks, and I doubt
my mom will notice if the alcohol dissapears from the party-- half of her
friends are recovering alcoholics." He laughed and headed for the back
door, opening it and then turning back to Chris and Ryan, who sat
nervously. "I'll be right back guys."

After Jake closed the door behind him, Chris and Ryan looked at each
other for a long moment. Their chairs faced opposite each other but the
only thing they could do was sit in silence.

"Ryan... This is really nice that you're here and all but I don't want
you to feel like you have to be my friend just because Jake talked you in
to it... I understand if you want to move on and forget about me... I
mean, we did go through a lot of shit." Chris said lowly, looking at the
ground. "If you just want to have your closure and then leave... It's
ok..."

"Chris, I could never forget about you man. You're my best friend.
You've always been there for me no matter what... You were there when my
parents split up... when I really needed someone... You've always been
there for me Chris." Ryan said as he looked seriously in to Chris's
eyes. "You've alwasy been the best friend I've ever had... and if you
want to know the truth Chris..." He took a deep breath. "I've known I
was in love with you since we were fourteen... at the lake that night...
The night we first kissed..." Chris's eyes widened.

"Ryan... Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't think it was right Chris... When you're fourteen
you're not supposed to be having crushes on your best male friend...
Especially when your dad is the coach for the school gym department and
makes gay jokes all the fucking time with his friends." Ryan paused and
took a long breath before returning his stare to Chris's straight face.
"But Chris... I've always loved you... Even when you didn't think I
did..."

"Ryan, how did we let this happen to us?" Chris asked, leaning forward,
emotion growing in his voice. "How did things get like this? We were
best friends Ryan. How did we lose that? How did I lose you?"

"Chris, you didn't lose me... I was so stupid to hurt you like that."
Ryan said, his stable voice wearing thin.

"I got over the heartbreak Ryan..." Chris's voice began to tremble.
"What I can't get over is losing you as a friend... How did we let that
happen? How could we?"

"I'm so sorry Chris..." Ryan said, trying to remain confident. "I'm
sorry about everything... I-- we, never should have let that happen to
us... But it's not too late... Chris, I still want to be your friend... I
really do... It hurts so bad when I'm not with you... But it hurts just
as bad when I'm with you and I know-- I know that I can't reach out and
touch you... I don't know if I can be just your friend Chris... as much
as I want to be, I don't think I can be just a friend... I don't think I
can stand that kind of pain..."

Chris stared at him for a long moment before he spoke again. He took a
deep breath and let it out.

"I know you love me Ryan..." Chris said as he pushed back a tear.
"It's the greatest sense of security knowing that you'll always love
me... And you know that I love you too... And I will always love you..."

Ryan's heart hung in the moment as he realized at the same time that he
had heard these words before. The two of them were playing out the
conversation from his dream nearly perfectly. Ryan's heart sped up as he
waited for the climax.

"I will always love you Ryan," Chris repeated and gave a long pause.
"...As a friend... I will always be your friend Ryan..."

"That's all I want Chris..." Ryan said quietly, his voice hardening.
"If we can go back to being friends then lets do it. Things won't be the
same. But they'll get better than they have been." Chris smiled and
pushed back another tear.

"It's crazy how things work out huh?" He asked, smiling happily. "I
used to think you and I were going to end up together... like some kind
of gay fairy tale!" He laughed shortly. "I guess we were never meant to
be anything like that at all huh?"

"I guess not... Although we did have fun Chris. You're the best kisser
I've ever had." He smiled warmly at him. "Jake is a great guy, and he's
pretty lucky too."

"Thanks Ryan..." Chris smiled as Jake reappeared at the back door
carrying three drinks. Chris and Ryan stopped talking and turned to him,
with content expressions, both feeling like they had acheived a sense of
reconciliation and closure of their unended relationship; They had moved
on from each other but had saved their friendship.

"Everything ok?" Jake asked as he stepped out on to the deck.

"Everything's fine babe." Chris said as Jake sat down next to him.
"Everything is great." Chris put his arm around Jake and Ryan smiled as
he watched the two of them hold each other closer. It was amazing, he
thought to himself, how after one conversation he had resolved his
feelings for Chris and was able to move on as just a friend. He smiled
at his best friend and his boyfriend as they leaned in and kissed softly
for just a split second. And in that split second, something inside Ryan
sparked again.

"Oh shit," Ryan said as he stood up. "I just remembered that I was
supposed to be home an hour ago! My dad has been freakin out about my
late nights. I'm so sorry guys but I gotta go!" He began to hurry
towards the street, checking his watch on his wrist. Chris pulled away
from Jake and stood up.

"It's alright Ryan." He said. "We'll see you later right?" Ryan
turned to him and saw the eagerness in his eyes and he nodded.

"Of course." He said as he rushed off on to the dimly-lit street.
"I'll see you two tomorrow."

Ryan wasn't sure what had sparked when he saw Chris and Jake kiss. Just
when he thought he had found closure in his relationship with Chris,
there was another spark to make him question it again. For some reason
he couldn't stand to see Chris kissing Jake. Even if Jake was a great
guy, Ryan couldn't stand it. He hurried off toward the bus stop hoping
to get as far away from the two of them and their happiness as possible.
He didn't care where he ended up or with whom. Anyone at The Scene would
be fine. As long as he had someone to spend the night with, to keep his
mind off of Chris. Ryan sighed and took a deep breath at the side of the
road, holding in a strong wave of emotion, before he set out to the Scene
to find an easy fuck...

To be continued...