I walked into my first class fifteen minutes late. Everyone was busying reading from his or her textbooks. I handed the teacher, who was seated at her desk, a late slip I had picked up from the attendance office. I had overslept last night and didn't wake up in time. That was partially because my sister had spent the night at her friend's house and hadn't been banging on my door in the morning to wake me up. I just woke up remembering that I had had a wonderful dream but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it had been about. Whatever it had been, it must have been a good one because I woke up with a smile until I checked my bedside clock and found out that I was running late.
I sat down in my usual seat next to Jake and Ashley and pulled out my textbook. Jake greeted with me a nod as I sat down.
"How come you're late?"
"I didn't wake up in time."
"Didn't your sister wake you up?"
"No, she slept over at a friend's house last night."
"Ah, that sucks, dude."
"Yeah, but at least this is my first tardy of the semester."
"Well, but this is only the beginning. You still got three more months."
I then noticed that the teacher was looking up at us. I motioned for Jake to get back to his reading as I started reading the assigned pages on the board. We had spent half the class period reading then for the rest of the class we broke up to discuss the reading.
"So did you guys have fun after the movie?" asked Ashley as she jotted down a few notes.
I gulped. Fun? "Um, not really. Zac had to go home because he had homework and swim practice this morning."
"Oh that's unfortunate," said Jake. "Well, everyone is invited over to my house tonight after the football game," he said looking at Ashley, with an emphasis on the 'everyone'.
Ashley just gave him a small smile. "Good for you."
The rest of the class continued with Jake and Ashley teasing each other. I laughed occasionally as Ashley clearly had the upper hand.
I walked towards my locker after class. There were many students in the hallways but I hadn't gone far when I saw Colin walking by. He saw me also but just nodded his head in acknowledgement and walked on. I looked at him walk on then continued to my locker. It was obviously apparent that he didn't feel the same about me. It was understandable that I couldn't expect him to share my fascination but it was still a bit disappointing. Now I didn't know what to do with my fascination with him. I could try again to hang out with him and try to get know him better. Maybe we could just become good friends. In reality, I didn't even have solid proof that he was even gay. As incriminating as gay porn magazines in his room were, that didn't mean he was gay although he would have a lot of explaining to do. Maybe it was best if I didn't do anything about it. How embarrassing would it be if I actually confessed that I had a crush on him and he said he wasn't interested in me, or worse, that he wasn't even interested guys? As cowardly as it was, I decided to just play it safe and stay emotionally detached from him. As of right now, I would only be interested in friendship with Colin.
After getting my books from my locker, I wandered to my second period. I walked into the class and noticed that Hannah, the girl I had met last night was sitting in a seat near the windows. She waved when she saw me. I smiled and walked over to where she was seated.
"Hey!" I said as I sat down in the seat behind her.
"Hi," she said as she turned around to face me.
"So how was your movie?" I asked.
"Amazing," she said as if it was obvious. "I don't think Jake enjoyed it as much though."
I laughed. "Yeah I wouldn't be surprised about that but Ashley has the power to drag him along with her when she needs to," I replied. "What did you guys do afterwards?"
"Ashley dropped me off and then she and Jake went somewhere."
"Ah, a little dating action."
"I suppose. Speaking of dating action, I heard that you and Rachel are together?" she said with a smile.
"Huh? Who told you that?"
Hannah grinned. "I have my informers."
I laughed. "Well you might have to fire your informer because you are completely wrong."
Hannah's smile went away. "Oh, so you two aren't dating?"
"Nope. I am still single."
"Huh. That's interesting," she said as she stared off to the right in deep thought.
I was curious as to what she was thinking about. "What's interesting?"
"Nothing," she said with a smile as she looked back at me.
"Okay. Are you going to tell me who your faulty informers are?"
"No but I will be sure to set them straight."
I was quite curious to find out more but I realized Hannah wasn't going to say anything more so I changed the topic.
"So what are you doing tonight?"
"Josh is taking me out to dinner after the game."
"Josh Porter? I didn't know you guys were dating. Then again I really don't know much about those things."
"Yeah you really don't do you? We've been dating for three months," said Hannah with a laugh.
"I seem to be clueless about a lot of things," I said, thinking back to last night when I had discovered how clueless I really was.
It made sense that I hadn't known before that Zac had had a crush on me. It isn't exactly something that Zac would want me to find out so I understood why he had kept it a secret. I was straight for all he knew. Then he had heard from Jake about my thing for Colin and that had probably given him hope to confess his feelings for me. Personally, if I was in his place, I don't think I could have done what he did, but he had done it. He had kissed me. He was the first guy that had even kissed me and now I was absolutely confused about what to do. I had started liking Colin but Colin didn't seem interested in me. However, I had now found out that Zac was interested in me. Now the question was whether I was interested in Zac. I had said that Colin was the only guy I had been interested in. So did my bisexuality start and end with Colin? Or was Colin just the beginning?
At lunch, the whole crew was sitting at their usual place. I sat next to Jake and Bryan and talked about the football game that night. During the conversation, I couldn't help but keep looking over at Zac who was seated over by Bryan and was busy eating his sandwich.
It was as if I was looking at a completely different person. I had known Zac but now looking at him in a completely different light, he seemed so different. Objectively, he was attractive. He definitely had the nice swimmer body along with bleached hair and dark blue eyes. Zac caught me staring at him and he looked at me and gave me a small smile. I felt a bit embarrassed and I looked away. This was getting awkward. I really needed to talk to him and sort this whole thing out. However, I didn't know how I wanted it sorted out. Was interested in Zac?
I was still new to this whole being interested in guys and it felt weird to think that I could be interested in Zac. He was interested in me. Did that mean if I liked him back that he could become my boyfriend? Boyfriend. That was an entirely strange concept to me. I hadn't even given much thought to that when I was thinking about Colin. I had only gone as far as acknowledging that I liked him and I wanted to get to know him better. However, that had all had been leading to a relationship. I had ultimately wanted to date him, right? Date a boy. My mind didn't seem to be able to comprehend the idea fully.
"Dude, why are you staring off into space? Hello! Anyone there?" said Jake waving a hand in front of my face.
"Oh, sorry. I just got distracted by something."
"Well, the bell rang so you better get your stuff together."
I noticed Zac was looking at me interestedly. I definitely had to talk to him. I waited for the others to leave then I accosted Zac.
"We need to talk," I said simply.
"Kyle, I'm so sorry about last night. I shouldn't have done that to you but I just couldn't help myself. I just needed to let you know what I felt. I've kept it inside for so long. I totally understand if you don't feel the same way. It's no big deal," he said quickly with a worried look on his face.
"Whoa. Calm down. The thing is that I am new to all this stuff. Maybe we can talk this over ice cream or something? You owe me on that one anyways. And if nothing else, at least we will be closer friends knowing about each other," I replied.
Zac smiled. "Okay that sounds good."
"So maybe today after school? We can meet at the ice cream shop at around 3?"
"Sure, see you then!" said Zac.
"Alright, see you." I replied before we parted ways.
I looked at my watch. It was one o'clock, which meant I had given myself exactly two hours to make a decision that would most likely change my life drastically. Did I want to keep Zac as just a friend or did I want something more?
To be continued...
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