Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2007 01:35:29 -0700
From: firexity vee <4plexity@gmail.com>
Subject: collide part 3

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction that describes the love between two men.  We both
know you shouldn't be reading this.  It's a waste of time to read the
disclaimer, so go on and read the story already.

okay, so this took a whileeeee to post and i'm using my old excuse and
blaming it on schoolwork.  and some drama, too.  but i hope you guys like
it

* * *

Collide
by rexie


Riley felt the warmth before he even opened his eyes.  It didn't come from
the sheets that was covering him nor did it come from the bright sunlight
peeking through the windows.  It came from Jacob.  He was lying on a bed
with Jacob fast asleep in his arms.  But it wasn't the hospital bed.  When
Riley opened his eyes he saw that he was on a majestic queen bed in a large
room that reminded him of his parents' master bedroom.  The sun has just
risen in the horizon and he heard birds singing sweetly outside.  Sunlight
reflected through an old mirror on the side of the bed and the warm rays
caressed Riley's face.  It was probably the greatest morning of Riley's
life and the best part of it was, of course, Jacob.  Riley looked at his
peaceful face and saw innocence there.  This was a boy that did not deserve
heartache yet Riley felt deep down that he was about to break his heart.
The sun suddenly disappeared and dark, threatening clouds took it place.  A
cold wind blew through the open window and Riley was driven out of the bed
towards the old mirror.  To his surprise, however, the mirror did not
break.  Instead, the old mirror swallowed Riley, trapping him inside.  He
saw Jacob still asleep in the bed and he watched as the clouds billowed
away, revealing the bright sun.  When he set his attention back to the bed
he saw Jacob wake up and smile but he also saw someone there.  Someone else
had Jacob in his arms and Jacob was glad to have this stranger there.
Riley's stomach lurched.  His own heart was broken.  Riley was screaming
his name over and over, pounding on the glass that separated them forever.
The mirror shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

"Hi," Jacob said softly as Riley slowly opened his eyes.

"H-Hi," Riley said trying to will his body to awaken.  He noticed that
Jacob was not wearing the hospital gown he's worn for the past week and a
half.  Jacob was sitting atop a neatly made hospital bed wearing clothes
that he would normally wear.  He looked wonderful.

"I think you were having a nightmare," he said, worriedly.

"Yea," Riley replied gruffly, "but I'm alright.  I'm guessing you cleaned
up already?"

"Yea," he smiled, "I was too excited that I woke up at five and took a
shower right away."

Riley looked for the clock and noted that it was seven minutes shy of six
o'clock.  He peered out the window to see a dewy dawn, the sun still
flirtatiously hiding behind the mountains in the horizon.

"Riley, you should get some more rest.  Your entire body is shivering,"
said Jacob.

"Nah, I'll be fine, besides, you need company," he said turning to the two
sleeping bags that were Penelope and Melanie.  "What have you been doing
all this time?"

"I've been waiting for the sunrise," said Jacob turning his attention to
the window on the side of the bed.  "I've only seen a few in my life and I
find them awfully romantic."

"Romantic?" asked Riley as he sat next to Jacob on the bed looking out the
same window, "I thought `romantic' involved more than one person?"

Jacob smiled, "Yeah, that's what a lot of people think."

"What do you think?"

"I think that anything that you wish to share with someone else is
romantic.  So really, you don't have to be with someone for something to be
romantic."  He paused.  "You just have to wish that you were with someone."

"What do you think is romantic, then?" asked Riley curiously.

Jacob turned to Riley and smiled and Riley stopped breathing for a split
second.  Jacob said, "Oh you know: the sunrise, the sunset, candlelit
dinners, flowers, San Francisco..."

"San Francisco?  Really?"

"Yea.  My dad took us there when I was younger.  I fell madly in love with
the place.  It was the happiest night of my life..." He trailed on and
Riley noticed a slight break in his voice.  Initially, he found this odd
but then he remembered Penelope mentioning something about Jacob's father
dying in a car accident.

"Do you...do you miss him?" Riley asked cautiously.

"I do," he whispered and a single tear glided softly down the side of his
face.  Instinctively, Riley wrapped his right hand around Jacob and drew
Jacob in to rest on his shoulder.  He was surprised at himself but he was
more surprised that Jacob didn't resist.  Jacob continued, "He knew I loved
San Francisco and he promised that he would someday move us there."  Riley
rubbed the small of his back, enjoying the closeness that they both shared.
"Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't...that I wasn't...."

"Shh Jacob," whispered Riley, "look the sun is rising."

Jacob, with his head still resting on Riley's shoulders, turned to face the
window in front of them.  He gasped.  The morning sun slowly rose from the
mountains afar.  The light from its rays lightly caressed the soft clouds
that were lazily billowing overhead.  The sky turned a magnificent hue and
the birds from the nearby trees sang sweetly as they flew up to welcome a
brand new day.  "It's beautiful."

Riley's heart was racing a million miles a minute.  In his arms was this
boy who apparently could make his entire body tingle by just the slightest
touch.  Slowly, he tightened his hold on him as they both looked at the
rising sun, thoroughly ecstatic.  He was afraid that Jacob would hear his
fast beating heart so he decided to speak.  "Th-this...this is romantic."

"It is..." said Jacob as he bathed in the incredible warmth that Riley
provides.

For a long time they stayed together intertwined.  Riley would tighten his
hold on Jacob fearing that he might slip away and Jacob inched ever-closer
to the bigger boy.  Neither of them felt anything wrong with what was
happening.  On the contrary, they have never felt more right in a long
time.  Riley rested his head on Jacob's and he felt his knees crumble when
he caught the incredible scent of Jacob's hair.  Neither of them wanted to
let go.  The sun rose higher and higher in the painted easel that is the
sky and still they held on.  Their breathing became one as they silently
inhaled and exhaled together.  To them, it was as if nothing else mattered.
Nothing else but the closeness, and the warmth...

* * *

Three days have passed since Riley last saw Jacob.  Riley was there when
Jacob silently whispered, `home sweet home' as they crossed the threshold
and Riley helped Jacob settle in.  When he left, he had the utmost
confidence that he would be there the next day, that they would continue
their `friendship' for a lack of a better word.

But now it's been three days and Riley is sitting in his car yet again
trying to muster up the courage to walk the one block that would lead him
to Jacob.  He has been driving there every morning trying to convince
himself that it was alright to be friends with Jacob only to give up an
hour later and drive home.  Not today, he thought, I'm not going to give up
today.

The damn kid got to him.  He can somehow feel that Jacob had the ability to
change his life and he wasn't sure if he was ready for a change, nor if he
even wants it.

He sighed, grabbed his jacket from the passenger seat of his SUV and opened
the door, all the while noting the shaking he was feeling on the inside.
`Get a fucking grip, Riley,' he thought to himself, `you're just seeing a
friend.  That's it, no big deal.'  He shrugged on his jacket and walked
silently to Jacob's house.  It was around 8:30 in the morning and Riley
squinted at the galloping sun in the sky.  He smiled remembering just how
romantic the sun can be.  When he reached the Alexander doorstep, he
painstakingly raised his arm and tried to knock, but...

"Riley!" said Penelope on the already open door, "hey I haven't seen you in
a while!"  She gave him a friendly hug but he was too shaken to return it.
When they broke apart, Penelope saw the look on his face and asked, "Are
you alright?"

"No, yea I'm fine," he sputtered.  "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, my mom sent me to give Mrs. Alexander some soup.  I'm afraid she's
feeling under the weather again and my mom's soups have cured her in the
past."  She smiled.

"Hey is Jacob here?  I wanted to visit him and see how he's doing."

Her eyes fell.  "He's not here," she said, "he's working at the Denny's on
Valhall Ave."

"What?  He just got out of the hospital!"

"Yea, I know," she said, "but with the hospital bills and his mom falling
sick he wanted to help out so he started working again.  His mom was
against it but he persisted after assuring us that he's feeling better."

Riley felt terrible.  He had money but he has never worked a day in his
life.  "I'm gonna go see him and maybe knock some sense into that boy," he
announced before turning around and heading for his car.

"It's not gonna work!" Penelope called after him.  "Jacob's very stubborn,
especially on things he really cares about!"

Penelope watched Riley's SUV drive away.  She stood there for a good minute
pondering on the things she saw in Riley's eyes.  He cared for him that's
for sure but there was something else there.  Maybe...?

Her phone started ringing.

"Hello?" she answered, "yeah this is Penelope...  Oh, hi, Ethan!.... I'm so
glad you called......"

* * *

It was another of the longest mornings of Jacob's life.  He looked at the
time and groaned at the fact that it was only 8:48.  His work day will not
end until another eight hours and he's been there since five in the
morning.  The Olympus Bar across the street from the Denny's caught his
eye.  He knew that Lucas was in there as they had seen each other that very
morning.  Seeing Lucas brought a touch of fear in his heart but what
surprised Jacob was the fact that he also felt pity for him.  He tried to
analyze it more but Jacob knew that it wasn't the perfect time to be
pondering.  He looked around the diner and was overwhelmed by the multitude
of people already there for the breakfast rush.  He sighed.  `Yet another
day full of taking orders and bussing tables,' he thought to himself.  But
in the end, he knew in his mind that it had to be done.  He had to work and
he'd already made his peace with that a long time ago when he was left
alone with his mother.  I mean, losing his dad was bad enough but him...

The bell on top of the door chimed and Riley walked inside the busy diner.
Jacob saw him right away and his body stiffened.  He hadn't seen Riley in a
few days and he'd already forgotten just how beautiful he was.  He wanted
to wave but he didn't know if he was there to see him.

Riley looked around and finally found Jacob behind the bar, where several
people were already seated enjoying their breakfast.  Their eyes locked and
immediately Riley's pulse quickened.  Jacob smiled at him and waved him
over.

"Hey Riley," Jacob said shyly after Riley sat down on the last available
bar seat.

Riley took a moment to look over the cuteness that is Jacob in a Denny's
uniform.  But when he looked at his face, he saw the boy's exhaustion.
"Hey Jacob.  Man, what are you doing?"

"I'm working," he simply said then he smiled, "can I get you anything,
sir?"

"You just got out of the hospital!  Shouldn't you be resting?"

Jacob laughed, "You sound just like my mother."  He paused and looked
meaningfully at Riley.  "Really, I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" asked Riley, concern etched all over his face.  "I mean--"

"Hey Jacob!" called a rather large man from the end of the bar, "can I have
more coffee please?"

"Coming Mr. Levine," called Jacob.  He picked up the coffee pot from the
dispenser and turned towards Mr. Levine, but he turned too quickly.  Riley
saw him grunt in pain and clutch his side, spilling a bit of coffee.  Jacob
breathed deeply and stood up straight, smiling as he walked over to
Mr. Levine and pouring him his coffee.  "Do you want any coffee?" Jacob
asked when he returned to Riley.

"Yes, please," and Jacob started pouring him some using the same fluid
grace that Riley loved watching.  "I saw that."

"Saw what?"

"You were wincing in pain.  You're not alright!  You should be letting the
bruises in your stomach heal fully."

"I'll be fine," he said, "now, can I get you anything to eat?"

God the boy was stubborn, but Riley was going to get through to him, even
if it meant having brunch with him that very morning.  Yes, he has to have
brunch with the boy.  It was for Jacob's own good.  "I was...I was
wondering maybe...w-we can eat,...together."

Jacob's face lit up, "I'd like that."  But then he slumped when he scanned
the clock, "Oh no...I can't.  My break's not for another hour."

"That's okay, I'll wait," Riley said enthusiastically.

"No, I don't want you to wait that long..."

"It's fine, I need to talk you out of working in your condition.  I'll get
us a booth."

Jacob watched as Riley walked excitedly over to the empty booth near one of
the front windows.  He sat down and smiled at Jacob giving him a thumbs up.
Jacob thought of how interesting his day has suddenly turned.  Then, he
went back to work.

Riley didn't like waiting, but somehow he felt as if this time, the wait
would be well worth it.

* * *

Riley spent the next hour sipping coffee and watching Jacob move about the
buzzing diner.  He discovered that Jacob, lithe as he was, had small hips
and Riley thought of maybe caressing them.  He hardened at the thought and
immediately forced himself to snap out of it.  `Fuck, he's just a friend.
That's all.'  He thought.  `I can't be queer.  No, I am NOT fucking queer.'
Oh, but the constant smiles Jacob would throw him made his ears burn and
his heart beat faster.  His body was doing things his mind didn't want them
to do and he hated not being in control.

One by one, the patrons of the diner started to dwindle.  People finished
with their breakfast would leave to start the brand new day ahead of them.
Riley noted that the only people left were those who woke up late to have
brunch.  Jacob finally walked over to him.

"Okay," he said opening his notepad and grabbing the pencil from behind his
ear, "sorry you had to wait so long, what's it gonna be?"

"Uh, I'll have the All-American Slam with extra bacon, please," said Riley.

"And to drink?"

"Just water, Jacob," Riley found it extremely adorable for Jacob to be
writing down his orders like that.  He looked like a kid playing
restaurant.

A few minutes later, Jacob returned with the food.  He set them down in the
table and gave Riley his water.  Riley grinned when he saw that Jacob
ordered the same thing, but with hot chocolate on the side.

"You shouldn't be working Jacob," Riley said as they started eating.

"Yea, I should," Jacob said silently, "I kinda need the money."

"I understand that Jacob, but you're just endangering your health," Riley
said worriedly.

"It's not like I'm doing anything strenuous," he said, staring at his food.

"Yes, you are," Riley replied, his voice slightly rising.

"Look, Riley," he started slowly, "you don't know what it's like to live
without money, so please, just let it drop.  I need to work and that's
final."  He finally looked up and Riley gasped at what he saw.  Jacob's
eyes were glistening with unshed tears.  He looked as if he was pleading to
Riley and it broke Riley's heart.  For a long while, neither of them spoke
as Riley just watched Jacob gracefully eat his breakfast, the sun shining
down through the window, bathing his beautiful face with its warm rays.

Riley didn't know what to say.  He understood why Jacob was being stubborn,
he was just worried about the boy.  Jacob continued eating, the silence
between them extending for eternity.  Finally, Riley chose to break it
with: "You look cute in your uniform."

Jacob stared at him.  He was shocked at first but then he beamed.  "Thanks,
Riley."

They continued eating in a pleasant silence.  Riley would throw Jacob
subtle looks and Jacob would catch him in the corner of his eyes and blush.
When Jacob did glance at Riley, they would both smile at each other.  There
was absolutely no need for talking.  The other person was there with them
and that was enough.  Neither of them felt awkward.

"Hey guys!" disrupted Penelope.  She had just walked in the emptying diner
with Ethan, who was wearing glasses, in tow.  She found Jacob and Riley in
the nearby booth and walked over to them.

"Hey, Penn," said Jacob, "Ethan!  How are you?  Wow, I didn't know you wear
glasses"

"Good," he said, "yea, I've horrible eyesight and I don't like wearing
contacts."  The glasses actually made Ethan look very handsome and smart.
He was wearing a red sweater vest over a dress shirt and a tie and jeans.
Jacob thought the look was much like what a college professor would look
like but with Ethan's unshaven scruffiness, he definitely looked cool.
"Penelope told me what happened at the party.  I trust you're alright?" he
asked with hooded eyes.

"Oh, yes," smiled Jacob as he watched Penelope swoon while staring at
Ethan, "I'm healing fine but it's all thanks to Riley here that I'm alive."
He motioned over to Riley.

"Do you know Riley?" asked Penelope.

"Oh yes," Ethan said, "How are you, Riley?"

"Good," said Riley, he was eyeing Ethan nervously, as if he was trying to
keep a secret from him.

"He's dating my sister so yes, I know him very well," Ethan turned to
Penelope.

Wait.  What?!

"Sister?!" Jacob and Penelope bursted at the same time.

"Erika's your....your sister?!" asked Penelope.

"Twin sister," said Riley as he picked up his water and took a sip, "yea,
not a lot of people know that."

"How come?" asked Jacob, his attention focused on Riley.

"Well, I'm not very popular," Ethan blushed, "but then again I never really
got the concept of popularity.  I believe it's a lot more important to have
close friends than a thousand acquaintances."

"Hm, that's definitely surprising," said Penelope, "and I've known Erika
for about a year now."

"I doubt she would mention me," said Ethan, "we have very different lives
and different friends."

"Would you guys like to join us for breakfast?" said Riley quickly and
Jacob noticed a slight tremble in his voice; he was deliberately changing
the subject.

"Oh definitely," said Penelope, bouncing, "Ethan actually asked me to have
breakfast with him and I told him we should go here."

"Come sit," said Jacob as he scooted to let Penelope sit next to him.
Riley moved his food to allow Ethan space on his side.  "You're gonna have
to call another waiter, though, I'm on break."

Penelope waved a waitress over and the two gave her their orders.  Riley
was finished with his food and he was gazing at Jacob's movements, he was
again mesmerized by the boy.

"So, Riley," started Ethan, "have you called Erika lately?  She's been
rather, uh.. hostile around the house."

"Uh," muttered Riley uncomfortably, "no, I haven't" He looked at Jacob and
Jacob was addressing him with hooded eyes.

Ethan sensed the tone and moved on.  Erika was clearly not a topic that
should be discussed at the table.  He didn't know why and he chose not to
pry.

"Look, I better go," said Riley looking at his empty plate.

"Please, don't leave on account of me," apologized Ethan.

"Oh no, don't worry, I just have to go," he smiled.

"I'll walk you out," said Jacob, "I'm done with my food anyway."

"It was nice seeing you again Ethan," said Riley and he nodded at Penelope,
"and you too Penelope."

"Bye," they had both said as Jacob walked Riley out the door.

The sun was blazing high in the sky signaling the imminent arrival of noon.
Jacob threw cautious glances at Riley who was deep in thought.  They walked
the few paces to the SUV in silence.  When they did reach it Riley decided
to speak up.

"Look, Jacob," his tone was low, and very serious, "I...I can't do this..."

Jacob looked at him, confused.  "You can't do what?" Jacob asked slowly,
suddenly feeling vulnerable.  He shivered and he brought his arms to his
chest as a cold wind suddenly blew in their midst.

Riley paused before replying.  He looked at Jacob's face and recognized his
innocence right away.  This boy does not deserve heartache, and yet here he
was about to give it to him.  He sighed, "I'm sorry Jacob..." he almost
whispered, "but, I'm not a fag.  I-I can't do this-" he pointed rapidly
between the two of them, "I can't be your boyfriend."  Riley felt the chill
as well and the clouds that were hiding before streaked across the sky
covering the sun.

Now Jacob was definitely confused.  Had he been too obvious with his
feelings?  Surely, he never said anything to Riley about it.  "I...I didn't
ask you to be..." he breathed.

"I have to go back to Erika," Riley said, more to himself than to Jacob,
"it would be better this way..."

"Better?  I-I don't understand..." said Jacob.  His eyes started to feel
warm and he knew that the tears were imminent, but somehow he didn't want
to cry in front of Riley.  Jacob didn't want Riley to see him more
vulnerable than he was now so he restrained himself.  He avoided Riley's
stare and looked up at the graying sky.

"Jacob..." Riley called but Jacob couldn't stay there any longer.  He
turned around and started walking back to the diner.  His legs were moving
on their own accord as his mind dazed on what had just happened.  He never
had a boyfriend, yet somehow, he was dumped.  He felt terrible.

Riley hesitated as he watched Jacob walk away.  It was better this way, he
told himself.  He ignored the gut-wrenching pain that he felt inside and
closed his eyes.  When he opened them, Jacob started swaying.  He went
after him in worry and called out his name.

Jacob heard him and he quickly turned and as he did, Riley stopped right in
front of him.

They were so close together that Riley could smell the scent that he had
come to know as Jacob's.  It was intoxicating.

Jacob looked up at the taller boy, their faces inches away.  He focused on
Riley's beautiful eyes, and he was mesmerized.  He forgot anything and
everything else.  He could hear his own heart beating so rapidly that he
was afraid it would break.  He realized he couldn't move any of his muscles
but he didn't want to anyway.

The wind blew again and Jacob shivered.  Instinctively, Riley wrapped his
arm around him, drawing Jacob's body closer to him.  He knew he shouldn't
be doing this but he didn't care.  He didn't care that he wasn't gay or
that they were in public.  All he cared about was Jacob in his arms.  They
stared at each other's eyes for a long time.

Riley looked at Jacob one last time before slowly moving in.

* * *

`What happened to the sun?' Lucas thought to himself as he wiped the shot
glasses clean.  He was inside the Olympus Bar doing random chores for his
dad, the bar's owner, who was in the back office.  The day had started out
sunny and he remembered seeing Jacob that very morning when the sun was
barely up.  But now, it seemed like dark clouds had rolled in, dissipating
the warmth that the morning sun promised.  He sighed, and silently hoped
that it wasn't going to rain.

He replaced the shot glasses on the shelf and walked over to the front
window to check the darkening skies.  When he was satisfied that it wasn't
going to rain that day, he turned around to go back to his chores.

But he froze.

He quickly spun on his heels and peered outside the window.  It was
unmistakable.  Right across the street was his best friend Riley kissing
Jacob.  He watched them for a second as his feelings surfaced.

For the first time in their friendship, Lucas was pissed at his best
friend.  No, he was more than pissed, he was livid.  His blood started to
boil with anger and his fists clenched tightly.  His heart was pounding in
his chest, trying to escape through his throat.

He couldn't think, he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe.

But then he saw Jacob move, his arms wrapping tightly around Riley to hold
him closer, luxuriating in the kiss they were sharing.  Lucas felt as if a
boulder had crushed him.

"Fuck," was all he could say.

His anger subsided and it was replaced by a stronger, more powerful
emotion: intense jealousy.

Lucas ran to the bathroom as he felt the sudden urge to vomit.

* * *

To be continued.

***

Contact me at 4plexity@gmail.com if you ever feel like talking to the
author, or if you want to discuss world views, or if you just want to make
a new friend.