Collision, Part XXIII

"Love Sucks"

By Joey E

Collision, once again, is back in full force. I am very pleased to reveal the twenty-third installment of my high school series. The series is a work of fiction. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication in any form is strictly prohibited. If you are under 18 (or 21 in some areas), please go away. Likewise, if the idea of gay high school boys learning about love and life turns you off, then please go away. Thanks to all who have responded in the past. I really appreciate all the comments. Special thanks goes out to Neuman, BJ, Will, CJ, Eric, Billy, Wes, Marc, and Matt.

(For some unknown reason, the narrator picked up the story line changes back to first-person later on in the chapter)

So, Ryan and Paul Miller went to the movies shortly after Eric left his house. While driving home, he thought about his lover, Jason and decided to pay a visit to him. Since college was out for more than a month, Jay had moved back home, which luckily was only fifteen minutes away.

A young boy appeared at the front door after Eric rang the doorbell.

"Hey, bro, is Jay in?"

"Yeah, sure," the boy answered, smiling. "Come in. I'll go get him."

Jay's younger brother yelled up the steps, "Yo, Jason! Eric's here to see you!"

"All right," said a distant voice from upstairs. "I'll be down."
Eric's eyes brightened up as he saw his boyfriend come down the steps.

"Hey, little man," Eric said, grinning.

"What's up?" Jay asked, surprisingly not smiling.

"I just was in the neighborhood, cruisin', thought I'd stop by and see how you were."

"Let's go upstairs, man," Jay said, walking back up the steps with Eric following him.

Eric was still deciding whether or not to even tell Jay what happened last night. It was not something he wanted to bring up to his boyfriend. Especially since they were not getting along too well recently.

"What's happening to us, Eric?" Jay asked as he sat on the bed.

"Don't know, dude. Ever since Brett's funeral, it seems we aren't connecting like we usually do," Eric said, putting his arm around Jay.

"So, what happened after I stormed out?" Jay asked.

"Ah, nothin' much. Ryan left in a drunken stupor and Miller chased after him. I hear he spent the night with him."

"Yeah, dude. I don't think anything happened."

"Probably not. How about you though? Did you get any?"

Eric rolled his eyes and took his arm back. "Aw, man, here we go again..."

"Eric, I know you. I saw you lookin' at him. It's really easy because it's the same way you looked at me the first night we met at the club. It's the same look you gave that guy you saw last week when I caught you checkin ' out that guy at the Phillies game. You even left for a while when he left for a while!"

"Jay, we're not goin' through this again. Nothin' happened between that guy and I. Nothing!"

Jay was silent for a moment and looked at Eric. "I never thought you'd be the type who would lie, man."


"Eric, why were you fucking that guy at your party this morning in your bed?"
Eric was dumbstruck. "What?"

"I went over to your house this morning to apologize for acting the way I did last night. Your mom said you were still asleep, but it was time for you to wake up anyway. She said I could go upstairs and wake you up. So I did. But when I saw you FUCKING on your bed, I chose not to disturb you, for his sake and left."

Eric looked away from Jay and got up off the bed. "JayMan..."

"It's all right, Eric. At least I know what to expect now. The one guy I finally have the balls to fall for. I refuse to be a queen about this. So, I guess, it's over, man."

"Jay, come on, man," Eric said, looking back at him.

"Don't make it any harder on me, man," Jay said. "I like you a lot. You broke my heart, man. But, I'll be damned if I'm gonna stay with you. You'll get over it, dude."

Jay got up and opened his bedroom door. There was nothing for Eric to do but to get up and walk out of it. He walked down the steps and out the front door. For the first time, perhaps in his life, Eric felt his heart break. Deep down inside, Eric cared for Jay, more than anyone else that had ever passed him in his life. And it took Jay throwing him out to realize it. But rather than whine or mope about it, he felt a determination to get Jay back, whatever it took. No one said no to Eric.

Back to Jay's house, Jay was sitting in his room, and caught sight of a picture of him and Eric together. He suddenly got so disgusted he picked up the picture and threw it across the room.

" Fuckin' asshole," he said as he hurled it. No one cheated on Jason Brader, no one.

Meanwhile at the movies, Ry and Paul sat down next to each other after they had a brief dispute over who paid for the tickets. Ryan wanted to pay for his own, but Paul insisted to pay for both. Guess who won?

"Fine, but I'm buying you dinner then," Ryan said, sitting down.

Paul smiled and nodded his head yes.

The lights went down, and the previews started. Somewhere along the movie, Paul looked over at Ryan. God, he looked good, he thought to himself. He put his arm on the back of Ryan's seat. Ryan looked over at Paul and grinned. Paul patted Ryan on the shoulder and they continued to watch the film.

As Ryan drove them to the local diner, he thought how Paul made a drastic turn around. He was mildly amazed at that fact.

"Paul, did you realize how much you've changed?"

"Actually, I was just thinkin' that. I truly am sorry for the way I treated you, bud. I guess I was just being stupid."
"Nah, just immature, man."

Paul chuckled. "I've often thought about what you did to me in the locker room that afternoon. That really took balls, bro."

"You drove me to the edge, man. What else was I supposed to do?"

"True, bro, true."

They had a wonderful time at the diner, joking around. The subject of Brett came up a few times, but all in good fun. Paul told stories of Brett on the football team. A few times, Ryan teared up, but nothing major. Finally it was time to drop off Paul.

"I really had a great time tonight, Paul. Thanks. You'll never know how much I needed it."

"Dude, you've been in your house for almost two months. It was time for you to get out. I'm glad you had a good time, Ry."

"Thanks, again, man," Ry said, holding out his hand.

Paul smiled and shook it before he got out of the car. "You sure you don't want to come in for a bit?"

"Yeah, I'm all right," Ry said, smiling up at Paul. Paul got up out of the car and closed the door. Ryan followed the 5'8", 160lbs, brown curly haired, blue-eyed muscle football boy walk to his front door. Paul looked back before he went in and waved. Ry waved back and pulled away.

(Ryan will take over the story telling again now)

I was in the middle of vacuuming the house when the doorbell rang. Amazingly I was able to hear it over the booming bass from my stereo. I opened the door only to find that certain 6'5" monster, also known as Eric.

"Hey, Eric, come in," I said, opening the door for him.

"Thanks, man," he said, stepping inside my house.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You're looking better, man," he said, smiling and giving me one of his strong hugs.

"Does it show that much? My bro said that to me this morning too."

"Oh, yeah, man, it does. You don't have that glow in your eyes that you always had, but I can see it slowly coming back. I trust it has something to do with Miller."
I shook my head yes. I turned around and turned down the stereo. "Don't mind me, I was just vacuuming."

Eric chuckled. "Mr. Domestic?"

"Shut up!"

"Actually, I came by to ask your advice," he said, sitting down on the couch in the living room.

"My advice?" I asked, laughing.

"Sure, you always give good advice, Ry," he said.


"Well, it seems I have a problem..."
"I thought that was established..." I interrupted.

"Any how, Jay caught me screwing the Dell guy, man!"

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, dude, he caught me screwing the guy. Actually in the act of screwing him. I didn't know!"

"You slut, why did you do a thing like that?" I asked.

"Well, wouldn't you if you had the Dell guy right there?"

"Probably, but then again, Brett was better and hotter than he is," I said.

"Oh, come Ry, don't tell me if you had a celebrity in your bedroom, begging you to let him have your ass, don't tell me you wouldn't say yes?"

"I'm not sure, dude. Besides, I'm a top. If he was begging me to fuck him, well then..." I said, with a grin.

"See, there you go, bro!"

"All right, I guess, I would be tempted to."

"Aw, man, I know you, you would be all over that!"

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess. So, what are you gonna do about Jay?"

Eric looked at me with a very serious look on his face. "I'm gonna get him back, man," he said, softly but firmly. He got up to leave and I walked him to the door. "I will get him back." I smiled and said goodbye.

I went back in and cranked up the stereo again and resumed my vacuuming. I was just about to complete the living room when the doorbell rang again.

"Aw shit!" I said as I turned the vacuum off. I opened the door to find a certain college boy at my front door.

"Jay, what's up?" I asked, motioning for him to come in.

"I hope you don't mind me droppin' in on you like this," he said, coming in. I closed the door behind him. We both sat down in the living room. Suddenly, I remembered what Eric said he did last night . I took a deep breath.

"No man, it's cool. I was just cleaning."
"Well, I assume you know what happened with Eric and that guy last night," he said. "I just didn't know who to tell."

"It's cool," I replied. I was thinking to myself, though, why does everyone come to me with their problems when I have enough problems on my own?

"Well, you've known him longer than I have, Ry. I won't tolerate cheating significant others, male or female. I told him that we were through and asked him to leave."

"Wow," I said, leaning back.

"Yeah, man. But even so, I love him. I love the big oaf."

"Well, dude, just be glad he's alive. What if he would die tonight? What would you feel like when you found that out? Trust me, I know..." I said, my voice trailing off.

"Aw, man, yeah, that's true."

"And I'm not saying he was wrong in what he did, but tell me, if you had the Dell guy in your bedroom, begging you to have sex with him, would you turn him down?"
Jay grinned, his dimples showing. "Yeah, I thought about that. And knowing the type of guy Eric is, always living in the moment."
"But isn't that what made you fall for him in the first place?" I asked.

"True, true," he said. He let out a big sigh.

"I mean, I'll be honest, I don't know you well enough to know what is going on in that mind of yours, but there's something in there that is making you want to forgive and forget, isn't there? Or else you wouldn't even be here."

Jay thought for a moment. "Yeah, I know," he said, softly.

"Well, I do know one thing. I have never seen Eric in the nine months that I have known him be crazy over anyone as he is over you. He does things without thinking, though that is no excuse. I'll let you in on a little secret about Eric."


"Well, when Brett and I first started dating, Eric and I sort of fooled around in the locker room at school together."

"Oh shit..."
"Yeah, well, on one hand, Eric didn't know we were dating at the time, and I didn't say no either. "

"Did Brett find out?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling.


"That bastard knew me so well even in the first month that he could tell I did something wrong. He drug it out of me."

Jay laughed. "But obviously, he forgave you?"
"Yeah, but it took a while to get his trust back, and he threw it in my face occasionally."

"Yeah, I'd do that too if I were in his shoes. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do," he said, softly.

"Dude, give it time. Maybe you'll come around. Maybe you'll decide that you don't want him back. But give it time," I said.

"Love sucks don't it?" he said, smiling, his blue eyes twinkling.

"It sure does, man, it sure does," I said, smiling back at him, with tears in my eyes. "But it can be the most wonderful thing in the world, too."

"Well, listen, Ry, I gotta jet now, but whaddaya say we go out this Wednesday night to Woody's, just the two of us?"

I raised my one eyebrow at him and gave him a mischievous grin. "Just the two of us?"
He laughed and got up off the chair. I walked him to the door.

"Well, how about it?"

"All right, Jay. It's a date," I said, shaking his hand. "Wednesday night. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Sure, I'll call you and give you directions to my house later," he said.

"Cool, see you later, man," I said.

I finished the vacuuming and watched some TV before I went to bed. I thought about the whole day, about Jay, Eric, and Paul. It was the first time in a while I went to sleep by myself and actually felt good.

In a foggy haze of a dream, I was with Brett in a field, just the two of us. We were chasing after each other, running around like two kids. Every time one would catch the other, we would kiss. It was a fantastic dream.

"I got you now," I said, grabbing Brett by the hand.

Brett laughed. "No, bud, you wish!" he said, running off again.

I chased after him, running wildly and giggling. Suddenly, he turned around and started chasing me. Finally, out of breath and laughing my ass off, I surrendered.

He wrapped his arm around me and said, "I got you, babe."

"Yeah, you do, babe," I said, grinning.

I went in for the kiss and suddenly Brett collapsed onto the ground.

"Brett, what's wrong?" I asked, in a frantic tone. "Brett talk to me!"

Brett sat up, grabbing his head, moaning in pain.

"Shit, Brett, talk to me!" I repeated, feeling paralyzed. I desperately wanted to go down next to him, but I couldn't move.

Now Brett was lying on the ground, still holding his head.

"BRETT!" I screamed.

I shot up in my bed, sweating and my heart racing. "Shit!" I said out loud. I was shaking. I had never had a dream like that before. Even after the funeral, Brett was not a star in my dreams. It scared the shit out of me.

My first thought that came into my head was where is my mommy? I wanted to go to my parents' room as I had done when I was younger. I got up in desperation and went to their room, only to find that they weren't there, since they were away for the whole weekend.

My next resort was to knock on my bro's door, since there was no one else.

I opened the door a little and knocked on it. He moved a little and looked towards the doorway.

AWhat?" he said, very sleepily.

"Dude, I don't know. Sorry, I woke you," I said, getting ready to close his door again.

"No, Ry," he said, sitting up. "What's up?"

I walked in his room, still shaking from the dream.

"Bro, you're shakin'. What happened?"

"I had a bad dream."

He patted the spot next to him on his double bed and I sat down on it.

"You can sleep here, man. It's all right."


"Sure. Just don't hog the covers!" he said. Though it was dark, I knew he was smiling.

"I won't. Thanks, bro."

I laid down next to him and surprisingly he put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry, Ry. It' ll all work out."

Though I felt comfortable, it was a while until I could close my eyes again. I could tell he was asleep, since he was snoring. Somehow, I fell asleep and woke up the next morning, feeling surprisingly refreshed again. My bro had left the bed sometime ago, and I got up and went downstairs for something to eat.

There was a knock at the door. Not even thinking, I got up and answered it. I was surprised to find Paul Miller there.

"Paul! What's up?"

His eyes were focused below my waistline and I looked down, only to be shocked to find my tool, swinging out in the breeze out of the fly of my boxers.

"Oh shit," I said, as I stuffed it back in. I giggled.

"Sorry about that, man," I said, as my face turned red.

"Well, shit, Ry, if that's all I had to do see it again, I'd come over every morning!"

"Come in, before I get charged with indecent exposure," I joked.

The five foot seven jock followed me back inside to the kitchen. I sat back down at the table and resumed eating my cereal.

"So, what brings you by?"

He sat down across from me. "Shit," he muttered, grinning. "You really are cute, you know that?"

I froze, my hand in mid-air with a spoonful of cereal. I looked at him and smiled. "Uh, thanks, I guess."

"Sorry, bud, can't help it. Anyway, I came by to see what you were doing tonight."

"Nothin' as far as I know."

"Good, then you're coming with me to a party."

"Aw, man, not another party. I've had my share already."

"Com' on, bro, it's for Brad, my teammate. I want you there, bud."

"No, Paul. I know what'll happen. I'll get weepy and shit about Brett and then I'll drink again and get plastered..."

"Not if I can help it, you won't."

"Thanks," I said, taking his hand in mine. He smiled and blushed. I couldn't believe I saw Miller blushing.

"Are you actually blushing?" I asked, chuckling.

"Shut up, Ry," he said, playfully punching my shoulder. "So are you going with me or not?"

"Paul, I don't think it's for me. I'm trying not to drink. I think I'm ready to move on. I don't want that temptation."

"You'll have me there, bud," he said, softly, and tenderly.

Shit, why did he have to look so good? I can't resist that.

"Fine, all right, I'll go. But I'm not staying long."

"Great, so I'll pick you up at eight?" he asked.

"Sure, thing."

The party was all right. Paul knew the guys there, I didn't. Though they knew who I was. I didn't touch an ounce of liquor. All I did was smoke. I soon went home after that. Paul was too nervous to do anything tender in front of his friends. And I couldn't blame him.

The next few day were in a daze. I applied for a summer job at the local grocery store and got it. But other than that, I did nothing. My parents were getting on my back now to go out and do something. Little did I or they know what I was about to do.

That wraps up this part of Collision. Stay tuned for more. Part 24 has already been written and formatted. Questions, comments, complaints? Send me an e-mail at my NEW e-mail address, Thanks.