"Clearing Out The Past...To Move Towards The Future"
By Joey E
Well, here is the twenty-sixth installment of the high school series, Collision. The end to Collision is fastly approaching. I cannot say thanks enough to all the readers who have responded. Special thanks goes out to Will, Billy (The King Of Slapnuts), Ryan, Neuman, Greg, Danny, Marc, CJ, Wes, Alex, Kris, the list could go on and on.
To cover my ass, you cannot read this story if you are under 18 (or 21 in some areas). If you are offended by the idea of two young men getting it on, then don't read on. This series is a work of fiction. All similarities to real life are coincidental. Copyrighted in 2002. All Rights Reserved. No unauthorized duplication in any form is permitted.
My life seemed to be almost normal again in the next few weeks. I got together with some of friends from High School like Sara, Eric, and Paul. I went to work. But to be honest, the thing I looked forward to most was the phone calls from Jay. Though we didn't talk about much or for that long (he wasn't much of a phone conversationalist), it still meant something to me. We knew we had to keep this thing quiet for a while. We saw each other about two times a week for the next two weeks. Jay was not speaking to Eric at all. Eric was always hounding me about Jay. I really felt like shit, telling Eric lies. Paul was another one. I was finding it harder and harder to lead him on, though I wasn't exactly leading him on at all. But it seemed that way.
After one of our mind-blowing sexual rendezvous, Jay and I were lying in bed, cuddling when the thought of Paul came into my head.
"Jay, I gotta tell Paul about us. I feel like an ass every time I see him."
Jay sighed. "Is he still in love with you?"
"Yeah, I think so," I answered, stroking his hair. "But see, that's why I have to tell him."
Jay thought about it. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Make sure I'm not there, though," he said.
I laughed. "Don't worry."
The next day, Jay dropped over and, being the horny young men we are, we fooled around a bit, right in my living room. It was safe, since my parents were both at work and my bro was out. However, we were still interrupted by someone ringing the doorbell. By this time, we had our shirts off and nothing else.
"Ah fuck, who could that be?" I asked, getting up off Jay on the couch.
"Aw, dude, let it go," he whined.
The person rang the bell again.
"Fuck," I said, not even putting on my shirt before I answered the door.
"Yeah?" I asked after I whipped the door open.
"Oh shit!" I muttered, after seeing Eric on the other side of the storm door.
"Ry! Shit, put some clothes on!" he said with a mischievous grin on his face. "You doin' anything right now?" he asked.
"Uh, sort of, why?" I asked, not knowing what to say next.
"Well, I was going to the mall, and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out this afternoon?"
"Well, uh, no, not today, man. I, uh, am in the middle of something now."
"Hey, you havin' sex or something?" he asked, joking.
"Um, well, uh, no."
"Com' on, Ryan I know that look."
"Well, now that you know, can I please go back to having sex?"
"Aw, man, is it anyone I know?" he asked.
Not quite sure how to answer that question, I just simply said, "Uh, no, I don't think so."
"All right, I'll go, I'll go. Quickly, though, have you talked to Jay lately?"
Aw, man, why did he have to bring this up now?
"The other day, yeah," I said.
I heard Jay get up off the couch. I was hoping he would stay in the family that wasn't visible from the front door. But he walked out to the main hallway. You can imagine the looks on each boys' faces when they saw each other.
"Shit," I said, out loud. Eric opened the door and came inside.
"Shit, sorry, I need to piss, dude!" He said to me.
"I would've rather you pissed on the rug," I said, glaring at him.
"Hey, Jason," Eric said, softly.
"Hey, Eric," Jason replied.
"So, he's the one you've been having sex with?" Eric asked me.
I looked at Jay and then looked back at Eric. "Yes," I replied softly.
Jay quickly made a duck into the powder room, which was off the main hallway.
"Don't, man. You knew how much that kid meant to me, dude. You knew I wanted to get him back. Why'd you do this to me?"
"Eric....I didn't mean to do anything. If it makes a difference, he made the first move, but then again, I could've said no."
"Yeah, you could've. What the fuck man?"
"Just because your boyfriend is dead, doesn't mean you have to fuckin' take mine!"
"Shut up!" I hissed. Now I was furious.
"All right, I take that back," Eric said. "But why did you do it?"
Jay came out of the bathroom just in time. He looked at us both.
"Don't blame him, Eric. It's not his fault. But, really, nor it is mine. I broke it off with you, dude. No one cheated on anyone, except you on me."
Eric's eyes flashed a cold look at Jay.
For the first time, the big 6'5", 240 pound, Varsity Football player and wrestler was speechless.
"Jay, don't make it worse than it already is," I said.
"What? He still thinks I am going out with him? The hell I am!" His face was turning red. "And he's gonna put the blame on you on top of that? Fuck that shit, dude!"
"All right!" Eric yelled, his voice resonating through the entire house. "You two go back to fuckin' each other, or whatever you were doing. Hope you have fuckin' fun," he said, turning around.
I looked at Jay. His eyes followed Eric as he walked out the door. His face was still red, and he looked pissed.
"Fuck him!" Jay yelled after Eric closed the front door. Even pissed off, he looked hot. The extra color in his skin, the way his eyes were wide open, his veins popping out of his arms.
"Jay, calm down," I said, walking over to where he was standing. I wrapped my arms around him from behind. His body was burning hot.
"Dude, you're like burnin' up here!" I said.
Jay moved away from me. "What right does he have to blame you for me sleeping with you? He took that right away when he cheated on me."
"Jay, come on, let's sit down."
"Don't that piss you off though?" he asked, looking at me.
"No, not really. Because I do feel slightly guilty for what I did. Not only towards Eric but to my dead boyfriend," I said, walking into the family room and sitting back down on the couch.
Jay followed me over and sat down next to me.
"Wait, you feel guilty about fooling around with me because of Brett?"
I nodded my head yes. "In the back of my mind, Brett still looms. It's weird though. I only feel guilty after it happens. But, I'm gettin' over it, slowly."
"Dude, maybe it was too soon for you...maybe..."
"Jay, it wasn't too soon. It was fun, man. I like you a lot, and I am glad to see that I am still able to enjoy sex. For a time, I didn't think I would ever again."
We sat in silence for a short while.
"Ryan..." he said. "Ryan, I know I'm jumping the gun here, but would you like to date?"
"WHAT?" I asked.
"I mean, I'll totally understand if you don't want to, and I don't want to force you. But, you're a very cool, fun guy and all. I like you a lot. I think you're sexy, I think you're smart, and I think maybe this could work."
"Woah, man, this is too much. I mean, B just died two months ago," I said. But then, the thought of the dream I had came back to me that I had a few weeks ago.
"But, knowing Brett, he wouldn't want me to sit here the rest of my life, alone. He would be disappointed in me if I did. And with you, I feel like I can move on..."
We sat in silence for a few moments.
"Do you mind if we don't continue? Quite frankly, Eric took the mood right out of me," he said.
"I understand, bro. It's fine."
By this time, it was nearly five o'clock. I looked at my watch. "My parents should be home soon. I think we should put on our shirts," I said, getting up.
Jay laughed. "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."
We both put on our shirts, and I went into the kitchen, to pick up a bit before the parents got home.
"Hey, you play the piano right?"
"Sure do," I answered. "Oh, that's right, you fuckin' play the guitar, don't you?"
"Yep!" he exclaimed, smiling.
"I have two keyboards in the basement as well. Wanna go get your guitar and we can jam a little?"
"Fuck yeah, dude, I haven't jammed in a long time!"
We hopped into my trusty party wagon and headed on over to pick up Jay's amp and guitar. We talked about music, our opinions on what was indeed music and what was not, and even an idea of forming a band.
We were back to my house in no time. My parents were home by then. Surprisingly, my parents had never met Jay before.
"Hi, Mom, Dad. This is my friend Jay. Jay, my parents."
"Hi, Jay, nice to meet you," my Dad said, holding out his hand.
"Hey, Mr. Phillips. Nice to meet you, too."
"Hey, Jay," my Mom said, shaking his hand as well.
"Hi, Mrs. Phillips."
I was hoping my parents wouldn't give him the third degree. But they did just that.
"So, did you go to school with Ryan?" my Dad asked.
"Ah," he started to say and then looked at me.
"No, actually, I met Jay through Eric," I said. I gave a sympathetic look to Jay.
"Yeah, I actually go to the local college, fifteen minutes away."
"Yeah, Jay brought his guitar. We were going to jam," I said, trying to get us out of there as quick as possible. I wasn't sure how to explain Jay to my parents. They knew something was up. I could tell by their looks.
We both made our way into the living room where the piano was. Jay opted for the acoustic guitar, since we didn't want to blast my parents out of the house.
"Dude, give me an E," he said.
"Just give me the guitar, I'll tune it for you," I said.
"Huh?" he asked, handing it over to me with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"I've got perfect pitch, man," I said.
"Really??" he asked, smiling.
"Yep!" I said, playing his E string and adjusting it. I tuned his guitar up in no time.
"So I can play any note and you can name it?"
"All right, how about this?" he said, playing a note on the guitar.
"D," I said, immediately.
He played another.
He played another.
"Damn!" he said, smiling. "That's freakin' awesome!"
So it went on for another five minutes. He never stumped me. We had gone from one note, to two notes, to chords. Even if I didn't know the chords, I would name each note he played.
"Fine, I give up!" he said, laughing. "Let's jam."
And jam we did for the next two hours. We played classic rock, some pop, and even some dance music. He then played me a piece he had been working on, composing it himself. He asked me if I could do anything with it. He told me the chords, and I follwed him. We played it about four times, each time getting better on my part.
"That sounds great!" my mom said, sitting on the couch. We were so engrossed, we didn't know we had an audience.
"Thanks," we both said.
"Do you write any, Ry?" he asked.
"Actually yeah. I mean, I have tried to over the years, but it seems that I wouldn't be able to remember what I had done. But now that I have two keyboards I can program, I've been composing more and more now."
"Let me here one," he said.
"All right," I said.
Although he didn't have perfect pitch like I did, he had a great ear and could play by ear. Pretty soon, we were playing one my pieces like we knew it all our lives. It was spectacular.
"Dude, that's an awesome piece!" Jay said.
"Thanks," I said.
"Why didn't you mention this before?"
"I don't know, why didn't you?" I asked, grinning.
"We could've been doing this for six months now!" he exclaimed.
As if on cue, for some reason, we both looked at our watches. "Dude, it's like almost ten now! We've been playing for four hours."
I laughed. "I know, man. It was fun!" Though I could've played for another four hours, I knew my parents needed to get to bed soon.
"We'll have to do this soon, real soon again!" he said, getting up and putting his guitar away in his case.
"Yeah," my mom said, getting up off the couch. "Feel free to come over anytime, Jay."
I smiled at my Mom and Dad. Dad had joined us for the last half hour or so. Well, I thought, at least he made a good impression on my parents.
"All right, Ry, we're goin' to bed now. Don't blow the house down," my Dad said.
"Good night, Mom and Dad," I said.
"Nice meeting you, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips," Jay said.
"Great meeting you too, Ry," my Mom said. "Hope to see you around again."
"Oh, I have a feeling you will," I said, smiling at Jay. He smiled back.
My parents went up to bed after that. We stayed downstairs and got something to drink in the kitchen.
"Dude, you wanna go kill our lungs some?" he whispered.
"I thought you'd never ask," I said, grinning. We walked out the back door, into the garage, and out the back garage door to the backyard. Jay took out his pack of smokes, I did the same.
I was just about to light my own when Jay moved his lighter over. "Here, dude," he said, softly. He was still smiling at me.
"Man, that was awesome," I said, after inhaling.
"Fuck yeah, dude. You gotta admit, we got something going there!"
"I wanted to kiss you after you played my piece with me, you know," I said, looking into his eyes.
"Yeah, I felt the same way, Ry. You're really something else," he said.
I looked up at the sky, which was clear. It was new moon, but the stars were out in full few tonight. It was a nice night out, about seventy degrees. I looked back over to Jay, who was looking at the sky himself. He looked back down at me.
"God, Ry, it just feels right, me being here with you, you know?"
I shook my head yes and smiled. "Yes, I feel the same way."
I looked around to make sure no neighbors were out and took hold of his hand. He looked down at our hands together and then back up at me. He smiled, his blue-eyes glistening. I raised my other hand and gently stroked the side of his face.
"Com' ere, " he said, grinning, pulling me towards him.
We kissed, for the first time, not in a fit of passion, but in a slow-motion kind of way. He moved in closer to me, his eyes closed, my eyes closed, and our lips touched. It was almost magical the way I was feeling. I don't know if it is right to compare, but in my head, I was. Quite honestly, I never exactly had this feeling with Brett. It was something truly new. As romantic as Brett and I were together, there was an extra spark behind that kiss that I never felt before.
We broke the kiss, still holding on to each other.
"Ryan," Jay whispered. "That was fuckin' incredible."
"I know," I said, softly. I kissed him lightly on the neck.
"We'd better go in before your neighbors see us," he said, grinning.
"Hee hee, yeah, we should."
I took him by the hand and led him back inside the house.
My bro must've come home during the time that we were out back, because he was there in the kitchen with a few friends when we came back in. I dropped Jay's hand immediately.
"Hey, Ry," Steve, my bro said. Jay was kind of surprised at the differences between my bro and I. My bro was 5'11", 150lbs, while I was only 5'3" (yes I grew an inch) and 105lbs.
"Hey, Steve. This is Jay. Jay this is my bro, Steve."
They shook hands. My bro was slightly surprised to see me with a strange guy.
"Ry, we were going to hang out in the basement, if that's okay?"
Well there goes the plan for makin' out in the basement, I thought.
"Sure, I guess," I said, looking at Jay. Jay didn't seemed to be bothered.
"Cool, thanks," Steve said. He took his two friends downstairs and we stayed up stairs.
"So, what do you want to do?" I asked. "I can't be up late, since I have to work tomorrow morning.
"That's cool, so do I."
"Where do you work?"
"At the college," he answered. "You remember my friend Joe, right?"
"Oh yeah, the one I danced with at the club," I said, smiling.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot that!" he said. "Well, he's my boss there. Yeah I've got to be there at fuckin' seven thirty in the morning.
"Shit, that sucks! I gotta be in at seven, though."
"Oh, dude, I couldn't do that."
"Yeah, well, I need the money," I said.
"True, true. Well, how about we call it a night and I'll see you tomorrow sometime?"
"I'd like that, man."
"Cool, well, let's go then!" he said.
We talked all the way back to Jay's house. We made plans to meet up around 6 to go out to dinner and a movie.
"One more thing," Jay said, when we pulled infront of his house.
'What's that?" I asked, smiling at him.
"This," he said, leaning over. He kissed me, our mouths flew open, and tongues flew in.
"Hee hee," He giggled. "I could get used to this, Ryan."
He opened his door and got out. "I really could," he said, looking back in the car.
I smiled at him and said, "So could I."
"I'll call you tomorrow!" he said before he shut the door.
I watched him walk up to his house and then drove away. I was truly happy again. Yes, it wasn't the same kind of innocent happy I once felt, I don't think I could feel that again. But, at the same time, I was happy. I wondered if Brett was watching me.
"Brett, I love you, man. He's something else, isn't he?" I said to no one but myself.
I went back home, crawled into my bed, and fell asleep with no problem at all.
The next morning, I was at work bright and early. The day seemed to drag by. I was on one of my breaks outside, smoking. Thinking about Jay, my mind really wasn't aware of what was going on around me. So it was no surprise when I walked into someone.
"Bud!" a voice exclaimed. I looked up and saw Paul standing in front of me.
"Paul, what's up?" I asked, smiling.
"Doin' some grocery shopping, bro. I forgot you were workin' here!"
"Yeah, about three weeks now," I said.
"I'm glad I ran into you, bud. I wanted to know if you were free tonight?"
I internally cringed when I heard him ask that. I knew I had been avoiding the inevitable for too long now. I had to be honest with the guy.
"Well, I've got plans later tonight, but drop by around five? I've been wanting to talk to you," I said.
"All right. Is everything okay?"
"Sure," I lied. "I'll see you around five then?"
"I'll be there," he said.
Great, I thought to myself, now what do I do? I resumed my work and left at around three. I found myself thinking about Jay and what to tell Paul. I felt the best way was to tell the truth. It seemed totally unfair to Paul and made me feel like an ass. But I had to tell him.
Paul showed up at my house at five, just as planned. I led him up to my room.
"All right, Paul, I gotta be honest with you. I haven't told you something that is killing me," I said, pacing around my room as he sat calmly on my bed.
He looked concerned. "Bud, what is it?"
I looked at him. This guy wasn't gorgeous, but he was cute. I felt like a dick. But, if I didn't tell him now, I would be more of one than if I did.
"Jay and I slept together," I said.
"Wha..." he started to say.
I immediately went over to him and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Man, I'm sorry, Paul. But, I like him. I like him a lot. I can't string you along though. I'd hate that if you did that to me."
"Bud," he said, looking away from me.
"I didn't plan it that way, man. It just happened."
He sat quietly for a second. "And you like him?" he asked, still not looking at me.
"Yeah, I do," I answered, softly. "I really do."
"Are you, like, you know, dating him?"
"No, nothin' like that. At least, not yet."
"Does Eric know about this?"
"Not that I'm aware of," I answered.
"Damn it," he said, under his breath. He looked over at me and said "Well, fuck me, then." He broke into a grin. "Don't I even get a chance?"
"I don't know, man. I feel bad because you were there for me when I need you most. And I thank you for that. But now I feel like I cheated on you in a way. Or like I'm some sort of a guy who used you."
"Aw, don't worry about that. It's just that if I knew you wanted sex, I would've put out a long time ago."
"I didn't know I needed it either. It just happened."
He took a deep breath and sighed. "So, you slept with Jay eh? Any good?"
"Oh yeah. Very."
"He is pretty hot," Paul said.
"Yeah, he is."
"Damn," he said again. "Fuck, I hate this."
"Paul, I'm sorry, I can't tell you how bad I feel to tell you this. But it wouldn't do any good to delay it."
"True, and I thank you for being honest with me. But, damn, I think I'm in love with you, bro...you just tore my heart out and stomped on it."
"Aw, man, I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's all right. It's my own damn fault anyway."
"Now I know this is not the best thing to say now, because it's so cliche. But I still want to be friends...."
"I know, bud. I know. It's cool," he said, getting up off the bed.
"I'll be there for you anytime you need me, like you were for me, man. I just want you to know that."
"Yeah, I know. And if things don't work out with Jay, you know I'll be here."
"Thanks," I said. I looked up at him. He looked sad, but okay. I went up to him and put my arms around him. I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.
He chuckled softly. "Thanks."
He turned and left my room. I sat back down on my bed, and sighed a huge relief.
That wraps up this section of Collision. Stay tuned the second last chapter of Collision, coming to a Nifty near you! As always, please send any comments, questions, complaints, or suggestions to NEPhillyBoy76@aol.com Thanks!