Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2001 23:47:58 -0500 From: Deron Dreem Subject: Come Sail Away / Chapter 11 All the usual disclaimers apply to this story. I am not going to say this is all fiction, but I have tried to be as vague as possible to protect those who might not like to be known. The following story Involves sex between two teen males. If that bothers you, then please don't read. Please be at least 18 or within your Legal right to be able to read it in your area. Thanks 8-) I also would like to thank 2 very important people. First, Billy Joe Walker Jr. You were always an inspiration to me. Your writing moved me more than you will ever know. Secondly, Dave I love you. Thanks for being my best friend. Come Sail Away Chapter 11 ********************************** NOTE ******************************* Sorry to take so long in getting this Chapter out. Between work and school things have been pretty hectic. Im sure some of you have missed seeing me online. We are extremely short handed at work, and I have more work than I can handle. We just hired a replacement, so things will get back to normal here real soon. Thanks for all the E-Mail, especially the ones encouraging me to keep writing. I will finish this story that I promise you. D.D. ************************************************************************ "What's wrong Eric?" "No one has ever loved me like that, I never knew what love was." "Don't worry buddy, you will find that person someday. I know you will." "Its too late Scott, I can't love the person I fell in love with." I hesitated for a second. I walked in front of him and looked him right in the eyes. "What do you mean it's too late? I didn't think it was ever too late." He started to laugh and turned back to where the table was. I followed, now more curious than ever to what he found to be so funny. "Oh Scott, you don't understand." He paused for a second. And looked straight into my eyes. It made me feel so weird when he did that. It was like he could look right into my very soul. I turned away. "But you will understand, you will soon enough. You will. I stood there and let what he just said soak in. I didn't know what to say, or how to react to it. I felt a little nervous. I was scared that Eric was going to try something. I knew he was capable. I had seen the evidence on his wrist. I just stared out at the water. I didn't want to face him right now. I thought for sure that if he saw my face, he would know I was frightened. "Don't be scared" It was more of a whisper than anything else, or maybe a thought. I turned to talk to Eric and he was gone. I scanned the grounds around me, and he was nowhere to be seen. How the hell did he get away so fast? I mean. It was open ground for over a half a mile. "Don't be scared" I quickly turned, the voice was right behind me. No one was there. I felt dizzy and confused. I walked to the table and sat down. I felt lonely again. Eric was right; it did help to talk about it with someone. I buried my head in my hands, and let my hands run through my hair. "Why?" I didn't know what else to say. The pain was back. I felt utterly alone all over again. I had grown use to Eric. I liked his company. I truly felt like I connected to him. "Why always me?" "Why Eric, what did I say?" "What did I do?" I looked around again hoping to see a glimpse of him. Nothing, he was nowhere to be seen. I turned to the only thing I knew, I turned to Poe. I have been happy - tho' but in a dream I have been happy - & I love the theme - Dreams! in their vivid colouring of life - As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife Of semblance with reality which brings To the delirious eye more lovely things Of Paradise & Love - & all our own! Than young hope in his sunniest hour hath known. I jumped at the feel of a hand on my shoulder. I looked up; Eric was standing next to me. "God, you scared the shit out of me." "Sorry Scott, I just had to think. I needed to get away and think." I looked up into his eyes and felt the pain he was feeling. It was as if I could feel everything he was feeling. He too had a pain he was dealing with. Eric had a Raven that was quothing Nevermore. "Where did you go Buddy? I was talking to you one minute, and the next you were gone." "I just went for a walk." "WALK, you mean run? I looked around and didn't see you anywhere." "Um. I just had to think. I'm sorry. I know you must think badly of me. I didn't mean to take off on you. I really am sorry." I sighed, and kind of smiled. I looked up and tried to let him know that I was just glad he was back. "Well Believe it or not Buddy, I actually missed you." I tried to relieve the tension I felt. I lifted my hand up, and held my fingers apart an inch. "Just a little" He looked off and shook his head. A small smile appeared on his face. "Hmmm. Well looks like you missed me twice as much as I missed you." "Ouch. Damn, I think you have been hanging around me too much. You show promise young Skywalker. You truly are a worthy apprentice of my school for smart-ass's." He reached in his pockets and pulled out two pops. "Here, thought you might be thirsty." I reached out and grabbed the pop. I thanked him and cracked it open. Taking a large swig I set it down on the table and belched real loud. "Ahhhh, now that hit the spot. Thanks again Eric, I was getting kind of thirsty." "No problem Dude. Figured it was the least I could do. So feel like talking some more about Brian?" I thought for a moment and like looking at a painting, the picture before me was like a moment frozen in time. I can still see, and even smell it. I can still remember how Brian smelled. The smell is special. Only Brian smelled like that. Only Brian....... As I lay there in the bed, my arms wrapped around Brian. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for how my life was going to change. We fell asleep that night, in each other's arms. I remember waking early the next morning to the feeling of Brian's lips on mine. "Morning Dude." I opened my eyes and smiled. "Morning Buddy, have you checked the weather today?" Brian jumped up and ran to the window. I could tell by the look on his face, we were going home today. Slowly he walked back over to the bed and lay back down. "This sucks Dude, I didn't want to go home today. As far as that goes, I didn't ever want to go back home." I reached out and pulled him close to me. I clung to him as if he was my life preserver. I felt that life was one big ocean of torrent water, and the waves were about to over take me at any second. As long as I had Brian, I could survive. He helped me keep my head above water. Time seemed to stand still for that moment. The whole weekend was a flashback before my eyes. The smell of Brian now filled my nose and alerted my senses as to his very presences beside me. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I love you Brian. I love you so much it hurts. I don't want this to end either." Brian squeezed me, and I felt as if he was scared to let go. I felt him start to tremble, and I could hear him start to cry. The hold he had on me became tighter and more urgent. "What's wrong buddy?" I held him as if his very life depended on it. Slowly he lifted his head. The tear stains on his face made my heart jump, and put a lump in my throat. I reached down and wiped them away. I could feel my eyes now starting to water up also. I hated to see Brian like this. I could feel everything he felt. We were now connected somehow, and I felt all the pain he had. "I'm scared Scott. I'm scared that this will all end. I don't want to lose you." "Your not going to lose me Buddy. Just because we are going home doesn't mean that this is all going to end." We stayed there holding each other for a long time. Neither one of us moving, or wanting to be the first to move. We both jumped as the phone rang. I reached over and answered the phone. It was Brian's Mom telling us to be careful on the drive home. Brian talked to his mom for a few minutes. I then called my folks to let them know we were going to be leaving soon. The room became silent, nether one of us talked. We both got up and started to pack. I put the last thing in the truck and walked back in the room. Brian was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the wall, lost in some distant thought. I walked over and sat next to him. "Hey Buddy, you ready to go?" Brian turned and faced me. I could see a serious look on his face. It was a look that I had not seen all weekend. I felt his hand on mine. I looked down and grabbed a hold of it. "I need to tell you a couple of things before we leave." Brian struggled with his words for a minute before he finally spoke again. "I need to explain something. No one knows I'm gay. Well at least not anymore." I paused for a second and waited for him to continue. I could feel his hand grip mine even harder. "The last time I told someone that I thought I was gay, something bad happened." Brian's face was now colorless. I could tell that all the life had drained from his body. I looked down at his hand in mine and could see his knuckles were turning white from gripping my hand so tight. "What happened Brian?" The only sound in the room was of Brian's struggled breathing. I felt Brian's grip on my hand loosen and finally totally let my hand go. "Brent found out I was gay. He didn't take it very well. As a matter of fact, he freaked out and." Brian paused and I could see his chest rapidly trying to grasp a breath. Quickly he stood up and brought his arms up and wrapped them around his chest. He began walking around the room as if he was trying to run away from his thoughts. "He.He tried to kill himself after he found out. He said if I was gay, that meant he was gay also." I was stunned; I didn't know what to say. I dropped my head down and stared at the floor. "That's why I'm scared Scott. Every time I love someone. They either leave me, or try and leave. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you too." I jumped from the bed and walked to where he was standing. I grabbed him and pulled him close. His arms were still wrapped around his chest and his breathing was still erratic and labored. "Your not going to lose me Buddy. I will always be here. Always. "That's what Brent said." I walked him over and we sat on the bed. Brian leaned over and rested his head on his hands. I got up and kneeled in front of him. I raised his face to mine and looked him in the eye. "What happened with Brent? I thought you guys were like really close." "We were. I mean we were, and then we weren't. Then we were again." I let Brian just talk. He struggled in telling me the story of Brent and how they had there falling out. After Brent went through counseling, they became very close again. Then Brian broke down once again when he talked about Brent's death. We stayed in the room and just talked. Finally the maid opened the door and we were asked if we were checking out, or if we planned on staying another night. We both got up and made our way out of the room. Brian jumped in the truck, and I checked out at the office. The drive back home was a quiet one at first. Eventually Brian stretched out on the seat of my truck and laid his head in my lap. "What are we going to do Scott?" "What do you mean Buddy?" "I mean about us, I don't think we can tell anybody." "I ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and I fell more deeply in love with him as the miles rolled by. I guess I never thought about it, the thing about not telling anyone. I never thought I would be in a relationship, let alone with another guy. Finally I answered him. "I don't know Buddy, but I do know this. I will never let anyone ever take you away from me. Ever." Brian smiled for the first time in hours. I caressed the side of his face and he tried to bite my hand. I pulled my hand back and he laughed. He looked up and smiled. "Promise. Promise me that you will never leave. No matter what." "I promise Brian. I will always love you." Brian closed his eyes and fell asleep. I drove home with the most perfect person in the world curled up on my lap. I helped carry all of Brian's things inside. We talked to his parents about the trip and finally I had to leave. We walked out through the garage and said our goodbyes. I hated leaving. I never wanted to be alone again. Once I had fallen asleep with him in my arms, and woke up the next day the same. I never wanted to be without him again. "Well.I um...I have to go I guess. Will you call me later?" Brian grabbed me and hugged me close. We stood in the garage and just held one another. "Of course I'll call you, just try and stop me. What time can I see you tomorrow?" "I don't know, call me." Brian leaned in and kissed me goodbye. I walked to my truck and drove home. I felt so alone as I drove. The last few days I have never been so happy. For the first time, I felt so complete. Now, it was as if a part of me was left behind. That night we talked on the phone for 3 hours till we had to go to bed. The school break was over and we had to go back to class tomorrow. I leaned the stick I got from Bobby in the corner next to my bed. I fell asleep that night feeling alone. I awoke the next day and got ready for the grind till Christmas. School seemed to fly by and so did my time with Brian. Christmas was fast approaching and I had no idea what to get him. We were driving around one Friday night when Brian asked if we could stop by and see a friend of his. I drove and made the turns as he instructed and realized we were going to the Cemetery. "Hope you don't mind Scott, I just wanted to stop real quick." "Of course not Buddy, We can stop by here anytime." We walked to Brent's Grave and I couldn't help but remember the last time we were here. We stood for a second and just listened to the distant traffic. Brian reached down and grabbed my hand. We walked closer and he bent down and brushed the light snow off the top of the stone. "You were right Brent, I did find him. Here he is." I looked over and he was staring at the gravestone. I squeezed his hand, and he turned to look at me. "What did you find?" "I found you. Brent always told me that I would find my soul mate someday, and I would be happy." "Are you happy Buddy?" He turned and pulled me into a hug. We stood there in complete silence, and let the sound of a light breeze and distant traffic do our talking. "Im so Happy Dude, I never knew I could ever be this happy." I squeezed him tight. We turned once again and just stood before Brent's Gravestone. "Well Dude, we should probably get going." We walked back and got in the truck, and just sat there for a second. It was so peaceful. The freshly fallen snow made everything look so peaceful and clean. "Ya know what?" "No what's that Buddy?" "If you wouldn't mind, I think I would like to come and visit my brother now and then." "I think that would be a great idea." "Ya know. He really would have loved you. I know you would have loved him too." We drove around that night and just talked. I was trying my best to find out what he wanted for Christmas. It wasn't till the next night at the Hockey game; that he said something. Now I knew what to get him. Well over the next week, I searched high and low trying to find the perfect gift for him. Christmas was less than a week a way and I still didn't have Brian's present. I Told Brian that I had a few errands I had to run and spent the whole day roaming around trying to find what he had asked for. It was less than an hour before I was ready top give up that I found what I had been searching for. I stopped by Brian's house on the way home. I missed not being with him that day and had to talk to him. Brian was in his room listening to music. His back was to the door and he didn't hear me walk in. I snuck up behind him and bent down to give him a kiss on his neck. Brian jumped and banged his head into my nose and down I went. "Damn Dude, you scared the shit out of me. Oh shit. are you O.K." I was lying on the ground with my hands clasping my nose. I pulled them back and seen blood. Brian freaked out. "Oh my god. Oh shit I'm so sorry Scott. I didn't hear you. Oh god." "Hey Buddy, what's up?" Brian ran and got his mom and she came in told Brian to get a cold wet washcloth and to keep my head tilted back. Soon enough it stopped and after explaining to his mom what happened we all had to finally laugh. No I didn't tell her that I snuck up on her son and kissed him. I told her that I snuck up and scared him. The nosebleed stopped and everything returned to normal. Brian's mom left and we were alone once again. "Im so sorry Dude, Im so sorry." I could tell Brian was really upset that he had hurt me. I knew he was upset, and could tell he really cared. If it was possible I knew at that time I was the luckiest guy ever. "Hey Buddy, don't worry about it. Its not like you did it on purpose is it?" I grinned and he smiled. It was funny how we could talk to each other, and not even have to say a word. Well we made our plans on how we were going to celebrate Christmas together and agreed that it was going to be a great time. The end of my school year was fast approaching. I was going to be graduating mid term, and had some serious studying to do before my last three finals. Brian somehow talked his Brother into giving him a ride over after dinner every night. We would sit in my room and just study. Well not all the time. But I really had to settle in and make sure I did well on these final exams. With School ending for the semester in 2 days, and me getting ready to graduate. We spent as much time as we could together and when we didn't, we talked on the phone. Friday finally came and with the final bell of this semester. I cleaned out my locker, said good-bye to friends, and left high school forever. Brian was standing next to my car when I walked outside. "Damn Dude, where have you been?" "Well I could have used your help cleaning out my locker, but I figured you smelled hard work and ran." "Oh ha ha. Very funny, I forgot that this is it for school for you. It's really going to suck now that I can't see you everyday." "What do you mean, I will still see you everyday. Its not like I'm moving out of town or anything." "I know smart-ass, I mean that I won't be seeing you at school." I stuck my lip out and gave him my best pout face. "Im tarry buddy, I'll miss you too." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure you will. Next thing I know. All I will be getting from you is an occasional telegram telling me how much fun you are having." "Oh shut up smart-ass." Brian started laughing and we made our way to his house. We had already made plans for tonight and he would be staying at my house this weekend. While he ran upstairs I talked to his mom. I asked her about the present I had bought for Brian, and she just smiled and then started to cry. "Oh Scott, you are such a good boy. I don't know what I would do without you taking care of Brian the way you do. I think that is the most wonderful present anyone could have ever bought for him. Thank You." She leaned in and gave me one of those mom mushy kisses and I know I must have blushed. Brian came down and we left. The weekend was great. All we did was lie around watch T.V. and listen to music. Christmas was on Monday so Brian had to be home Sunday night before 6:00. I decided that I would show Brian his Present on Sunday afternoon. Every time we spent the weekend together I never wanted him to leave. I loved going to bed at night with his arm wrapped around me, and waking up to him the next morning. My parents took off Sunday morning and said they had some last minute shopping to do. Before they left they gave Brian his Christmas present. Brian was speechless as always, and thanked them over and over again. He said he wanted to open it Christmas morning with the rest of his gifts. "Well just let us know if its O.K., I saved the receipt in case there is a problem." My parent pulled out of the drive and I know before they were even a block away, Brian had jumped me and was like an animal possessed. The entire morning we found different ways of making love to each other. I could have stayed in bed all day with him. I glanced over at the clock and seen that it was 1:30. I knew we had to get up and around. I wasn't really sure what time the folks would get back, and this was not the time to show them how I felt about Brian. "Come on Buddy, we need to get up and going if we are going to get anything done." "What do you mean get anything done? I think we got a lot done today." That smile, god how I loved that smile. Brian could always wipe away all my troubles and make me feel so damn good. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I caressed the side of his face and stroked his hair. I just looked at him and marveled at how incredible beautiful he really was. "There you go again with that weird look on your face." Well that was it. I attacked. I grabbed him with no mercy and tickled every inch I could get my hands on. We wrestled around the bed till both of us were completely out of breath. I leaned over and gently took his face in my hands. I looked into his eyes. "What did I ever do in this lifetime to ever deserve anyone as great as you?" Brian kind of smiled, and then with a dead panned face. "I think the question should be. What the hell did I do so wrong to get stuck with you?" Before I could even respond, Brian jumped from the bed. Out the door of room he ran naked as the day he was born. I jumped and was hot on his heels. He was running and giggling all around the house. I could have found him in a pitch-black room with him laughing like he was. "Where do you think your going buddy? Did you happen to notice that you are without clothing?" "Well, when you got it, you flaunt it." Then he laughed even louder. We ended up in my parent's room and I tackled him on the bed. "Hello" Damn. My parents were home. I didn't know I could move that fast. We both ran to my room and shut the door. As quickly as we could, we both tried to put our clothes on. No underwear or boxers, just pants. Within seconds there was a knock at the door. "Come in" My mom walked in and looked at us. Both of our faces were red, and we were out of breath. She just stood there and looked at me, then Brian. "I would have thought that you two were past this stage in your life's. If you two have this much energy, I know I can find some work around here to do." "Oh wow Mom, look at the time. Geez we would love to stay and help, but we should get going." "Just what I thought." She then turned and looked at Brian. "And if you think you're too big for me to put over my knee Mr. You best think again." "Wow Scott, your right. Look at the time, we should get going." At that, we both busted out laughing. Mom made some comment about now having two crosses to bear in life and walked out the door. As soon as the door shut we both looked at each other. I wanted to laugh, but I think I was still too scared too. Whispering I said to Brian. "Damn Buddy, we have to be more careful." "No shit, that was too close." We both got dressed. I told Brian it was time to go and get his Christmas present. Of course there were a million questions about it and I just smiled and pretended not to hear a word. I walked downstairs, and told the folks I would be back in a bit. Brian thanked the parents again for the present and we left. "Hope you don't mind Dude, but can we stop by my house real quick. I need to pick your present up, I forgot to bring it." We pulled into his drive and he ran inside, and was out in a matter of seconds. Under his arm he had a brown sack. "O.K. ready to go. So where are we going?" I just smiled and started to drive away. He kept pestering and hounding me. We pulled into the Cemetery, and Brian gave me a weird look. "What are we doing here?" "You'll see." I stopped a ways back from Brent's grave and turned the car off. I turned in my seat and looked Brian in the eyes. "I know this seems kind of weird, but this is your present. Come on, I want to show you something." We got out of the car and Brian just stood next to his door. I walked around and grabbed his hand. "Trust me Buddy." Brian looked at me, and then smiled. "I do trust you, I'm just kind of confused. I mean I .." I pulled him with me and we started to walk down the small road. I started to tell him that I wasn't really sure what to get him, until he gave me the idea. Now I know I had him totally confused and he wasn't expecting to see what he saw. As we got close to Brent's grave Brian's face showed surprise and almost shock. "What." We stood and looked at Brian's present. There before us was a decorative concrete bench. I positioned it close to Brent's grave under the tree. "This way, we can come out and see Brent and sit and talk." Brian walked over and sat down. His fingers caressed the edges and looked at the gravestone. He kept running his hands over the surface and looking at me. "It's. I mean. I don't know what to say. This is the best gift anyone could have ever given me. So does this mean you don't mind coming out here?" I walked over and sat down next to him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and smiled. "Of course not Brian. I told you we can come out here anytime you want." He wrapped his arms around me and gave me the best hug I ever got. We sat there and just enjoyed the brisk air. Brian's parent's car pulled up a few minutes later. His Dad and Mom walked over to where we were sitting. Brian stood and walked to meet them. I stayed back, not really sure what to say. Brian stayed back talking to his Mom, and his dad walked towards me. "That was a fine gift Scott." He reached out and shook my hand. Then pulled me into a manly type of hug. "Brian was very lucky to have found such a good friend as you. That was a fine gift, a fine gift indeed." Brian and his Mom walked up and she told me how lovely it was. She walked over and hugged me, and told me how thoughtful I was. We stood there for several minutes before Brian's parent said they had some errands to do. They asked me to come in when I dropped Brian off. I said I would and they turned and walked towards their car. "Hey, wait here. I want to give you your present. I can't think of a better place to give it to you than here." Brian took off towards the truck, and I waved good-bye to his parents as they drove off. I looked down at Brent's grave and for the first time, I talked to him. "Ya know Brent. Im sorry that I never had the chance." I paused. I could feel a lump in my throat starting to form. I felt so sad all of a sudden. "I think Brian was right. I think we could have been great friends. If you were even half as great as Brian is, then I would have loved you too." I reached up and wiped my eyes. I didn't need Brian seeing me crying. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "I promise you Brent, I will take care of your Brother. I will love him and make sure he is always happy. This I promise you." I looked up and Brian was standing a few feet away. I smiled and felt awkward. "I was just. well I was." "I know Scott. I heard what you said." I looked down and kind of smiled. Brian walked over and sat next to me. "Here Dude, Merry Christmas." I reached out and took the sack from him. I looked at him and smiled. I know he was more excited about opening it then me. "Come on, open it already will ya." "Well, I was going to wait and open it tomorrow." "I don't think so Mr. You can open it now. I want you to open it here. I want to open it with Brent." I reached down and opened the sack. Inside were two packages. I pulled the first one out and opened the package. Inside was a movie. The Natural, a great Baseball movie. I loved that movie. Brian knew that, and he also knew that the tape broke on my copy. I opened the next package and found a ball cap. It was a replica of the team from the movie. The New York Knights. "Thanks Buddy, this is the best present you could have ever gotten me. Where did you ever find this hat?" "Well that's a long story, you can thank my Mom for that one. I talked about how much you loved Baseball, and this movie. She did the rest. Brent loved the movie too, that's why I'm glad we could open it here. He would be so jealous of that hat." We stood and I hugged Brian and gave him a small kiss. I grabbed his hand and we walked towards the truck. We drove back to his house holding hands all the way. I pulled in the drive, and we walked inside. Everyone was in the kitchen. We walked in and I was handed a present from his mom. It was in a small box the size of a matchbox. "Here, this is from me." I opened it and found a key to the house. "Im tired of getting up and opening the door every time you come over. Now there is no reason to." "Thanks, that makes me feel right at home." Brian's Dad walked up behind me and handed me a big box. "You are at home. We want you to always feel welcome here." I sat down and opened the box. Inside was a Baseball Jacket to match my Ball Cap. It was so awesome. Wool with leather sleeves, and even had the lightning bolt sewn on it. "I don't know what to say. I. I just don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you very much." I sat wearing my Jacket and coat in the dining room while everyone munched and talked. I felt so comfortable sitting there. I really felt at home. I would look at Brian now and then; we would just smile at each other. The phone rang, and my mom and Brian's talked till she finally assured her that she would personally send me out the door herself. "Well Buddy, looks like I better head home." "Hey, we are not going anywhere tomorrow, can you come over tomorrow sometime?" "That's fine with us as long as your parents don't mind" I thanked his Mom for the invitation and Brian walked me out through the garage to my truck. I think the garage thing was starting to become our way of saying good-bye to each other. I gave him a big hug and got a nice kiss good-bye. I told him to call me later if he could and drove home. God I wasn't even home yet and missed him already. We talked that night on the phone till midnight. We wished each other Merry Christmas and said good night. I went to bed that night and dreamed of Baseball, Brian, and Brent. It was so weird. We were all playing catch in a big open field. I awoke the next morning and had Christmas with my family. Brian called just before non and thanked my parents for the gift. Brian got an official Bruins jersey and a new hat. My mom told him she was tired of looking at the ratty one he wore and thought he needed a new one. We spent that night and most of Brian's. That night I had the dream again. We were playing catch in this big open field, just like at he end of the movie. The sky was overcast, everything looked so dull. I reached down to pick the ball up and there was snow on the ground. "Hey.. There's snow on.." I looked up and they were playing hockey. I stood and watched as the skated back and forth on the ice. I felt cold. I was frozen, I tried to speak and say something and couldn't. I tried to move and nothing happened. I stared at the ball in my hand. "Nooooooo....." I looked up and seen Brian lying on the ice. He was screaming. I looked around and didn't see Brent anywhere. I tried to move. Nothing. I stood and watched Brian scream and cry. My body was paralyzed. I tried to talk, I was screaming and nothing was coming out of my mouth. I sat up and jumped from the bed. I was crying uncontrollable now. Brian ran to where I was standing. I just stood there. My whole body was shaking. I was so cold..... I jumped at the feel of Eric's hand on my shoulder. I was shaking. "Hey you O.K.?" "Yeah. I had forgot all about that dream until just now. It felt so real, I felt like I was there. I felt like I was actually there.. Thanks for reading. I sure hope I didn't let anyone down. Sometimes it is so hard to put these thoughts and feeling down on paper. Please be patient with me. I will continue to write as long as you keep reading.