Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2016 19:34:35 -0500 From: David Achterhof Subject: coming out of my shell 11 Spring break came and went. Course loads started getting harder as we were moving toward finals with too much homework and studying. Of course, my 'beast' tried for sex every time I was trying to study. Believe me, most of the time I just ignored him, but that only resulted in my being in receipt of his 'puppy dog' look, which worked the first few times, I'm sad to report. I can't help it, he is so hot and when he gives me the eyes I can't resist. Damn him and he knows that but I eventually was able to fend him off. I'd threaten him that if he didn't let me study he was getting cut off for a month. Needless to say, he never bothered me again while I was studying. Although I must admit he was desirable when we all were studying, he would rub my thigh trying to get me to stop. So I'd just give him a look and he stopped looking like a whipped puppy. I love this man; he is everything to me and he is so adorable, when he wants to be, of course to me he is always handsome as ever. I was studying for finals when Carl came back from his last class carrying the mail; he handed me mine. I started to go through it when I got to an envelope that stopped me in my tracks it was an invitation to Tommy's graduation ceremony next month. I very much wanted to attend. Next to Marcus, he is the one I love the most in the world. However, I don't know if I am ready to see my parents again because it was Tommy's day and I did not want to cause a scene and fill it with over the top drama episodes. I got up and went to my room to lay down. I guess I had fallen asleep because Carl was waking me up for dinner. "Davis dinner is ready, come and eat." Pulling myself together, I went to dinner. We ate mostly in silence and by the time we were washing the dishes, Carl decided to ask, "So what's wrong with you?" I looked down and said "I got an invitation from Tommy to his graduation ceremony in June." "Am I missing something here? Isn't that a good thing?" "Yes, it's a very good thing but I don't want to cause a scene with my parents there." I said looking down at the soapy water. "Damn it, Davis, how do you think Tommy would feel when he looks in the audience and doesn't see you? He wants his big brother there to celebrate this achievement in his life!! You're going even if Marcus and I have to drag you there!" Carl was quite serious and the look on his face said not to follow my line of thought. "Okay, I will go. We will just coordinate with my brother so I avoid my parents altogether." I am definitely a basket case as we were in the car on our way to the ceremonies. Tommy and I had been talking about our plans to see each other without our parents, hopefully it will work out. We arrived at the stadium and I called Tommy who told me our parents were sitting in the middle so we went under the stadium and came around and sat on the far end. I met up with some old friends and introduced Marcus. They were all happy for me and the girls were drooling over Marcus, which made me happy. I am starting to get pride out of people drooling over my fianc?. We all sat down and listened to all of the boring speeches. I cheered for both of my brothers, I'm so proud of both of them. After the ceremony was over we made our way down to the field and I started looking for Mario. I heard a voice behind me call out, "Davis over here!" I turned and Mario wrapped me in a bear hug. "Hey little bro! congrats!" I was able to get out before the breath was squeezed from me. He let me go to hug both Marcus and Carl. Mario's parents walked up to us; I gave his mom a hug and his dad shook my hand. I introduced them to Marcus and Carl. Then turned to Mario and handed him his present, I got him his favorite candy a giant bag of skittles and a check for two hundred dollars, Mario looked at me with a shocked look on his face "Davis this is too much." I pulled him into a hug, "Nonsense you are a brother to me and I can give you what I want." We took a couple of pictures together. Then went to find my brother we had made it through most of the crowd when I found him. He was standing with my parents. I stopped dead in my tracks my father saw me and instantly showed his disdain. I turned around to walk away when Mario grabbed my hand. "And just where are you going?" "Tommy is with his parents and I don't want to create anything to ruin his day." I said looking at the ground starting to feel like a complete loser thinking that things would somehow be any different. Continuing to walk away, I was almost to the gate when I heard, "Where the hell do you think you're going?" I knew instantly who it was. Trying to relax, I lowered my shoulders as I turned around looking at my brother who was definitely pissed. He had every right to be. I walked away instead of going over to him I let my father win. He came over to me and hugged me. "I'm sorry Tommy. I love you so much that I didn't want to cause any commotion on your day. When we found you and dad saw me he looked at me with a condescension as if I were an abomination." "First off, screw dad! You are my brother. I love you and I want you here! Second, do you know just how much it hurt when I saw you walking away from me?" "I'm sorry Tommy I'm just not ready to handle this yet. I know it's been a year but apparently dad is not dealing with it." "Please come back with everyone and take some pictures. I want a picture with my brothers and my future brother and law" Tommy said. He didn't realize that I saw the tear that wanted to fall from his eye. "Okay, I can handle that." "Then, you are going to come by the house and we are going to settle this once and for all. Do you understand me?" Tommy said sternly. I had never seen him like this before. "Fine but don't expect anything to change you know how stubborn our dad can be" We walked back to our group and took more pictures with Mario and Tommy until they left. As we went to our car, I told Carl and Marcus we were going to my parents' house at the order of my younger brother. So we left for my house I was extremely nervous for this confrontation since I haven't spoken to either of my parents in a year. This was not going to go well at all and I knew it wasn't but I have to do this I need to get this over with no more running I need to face my father know matter what. He may hate me for the rest of my life but I hope after this I'm feeling a lot better about myself so that I can move on. We pulled up and were able to park right in front of the house. Tommy was waiting there. "I'm glad you came" as we hugged. "Yeah I know. If I didn't you would have hunted me down and beat my butt and Marcus likes his playground, so I can't let you do that" I said with a sly grin on my face "First off, you don't know that. Second? Yeah, I would have hunted you down" he said with a smile but then he turned serious, "Are you ready for this?" "As ready as I will ever be" I said sounding anxious as we walked inside the house and into the living room. I looked over at dad and I could tell he is fuming. I couldn't read mom; I never could. Marcus and I sat on the couch and Carl sat in a chair while Tommy remained standing. I believed this was not going to end well. Tommy still hadn't said a word he just looked at everyone several times. The tension in the room steadily rose. You could smell it, taste it, see it, feeling it wrap around you in a confining hug. "I asked all of you here because I'm sick and tired of the feud that is going on between my parents and my brother." Gathering his breath, Tommy continued, "Dad, I don't understand why you hate Davis so much because he is gay. So what if he is? You fathered this man. How can that love for him disappear by him being gay?" There was silence for a few seconds. I looked at my dad who was keeping stone-faced. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about what Tommy said or not. Tommy continued, "Mom, I don't know how you feel, you never talk about it. I guess you just agree with dad. Dad I love you, but I also love my brother very much and I want him around for holidays, but he won't come here because he isn't welcomed." He paused to regain his emotions which were about to burst. "Do you realize that on one of the most important days of my life that my brother didn't want to come because of you he didn't want to cause a drama; so he wasn't going to be there. Luckily Carl knocked some sense into him." There was more silence and I decided I needed to say something. "Dad, you may not like me and that's fine. I have accepted that I don't need you to be a father to me, Carl and Marcus dads have been there for me this past year." I paused to calm down, "This year has been hard for me to deal with. Over the holidays I was a mess. Uncle Seth and papa Jacob were fathers to me. They made me come to terms with who I am as a person." I felt a tear start rolling down my cheek. "They helped me, as did Marcus, Carl and Tommy. I have grown this year not only in myself physically but emotionally. My relationship with Marcus has never been stronger in fact it's so strong that he asked me to marry him and I said yes." My emotions were so strong that I could not stop tears from falling. Now that everything was laid out in front of them, I was crying out now and there was no stopping. "That day was the happiest of my life so far and I wish I had parents to share it with. Most parents would be excited that their son is getting married to a future doctor but I guess you will always be contemptuous maggots." Looking at my dad, I could tell he wasn't paying attention not even looking at me "LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!" I knew this was a travesty. "Mom, Dad. . . You will not hear me use those names again, ever. AND, you will definitely not see me again. From now on, you cease to exist for me." I hugged Tommy and kissed his cheek, "Thanks for trying, bro. I love you and will see you soon." With that, I walked deliberately out the door, heading straight to the car; Marcus and Carl hot on my heels. Exhausted and crying, I fell asleep on the way home. All I wanted to do when we were back at our apartment was just go to bed. I didn't want to talk to anyone. . . I just wanted to go to bed I just wanted to be alone. Thanks for reading my story everyone I have edited my other chapters, so they aren't horrible anymore. Thanks again to my friend Paul for doing all of my editing and helping redo my other chapters lots of love to you buddy. Always donate to nifty to keep this website free.