SUMMARY: At a time of national turmoil, the lives of four boys become connected as each struggles to accept his sexuality and to address the challenges he faces in life. To the extent the boys succeed in coming to grips with those challenges, it may be in ways that prove surprising or troubling. This story is also being published on my blog and you can find a longer synopsis there. While some events, locations and features in the story have been moved forward or back in time for dramatic and other purposes, it takes place during an era when prejudice against homosexuals is rampant and the gay revolution in America is still in its infancy. Italics are typically used within the story to indicate what a character is thinking or saying to himself. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

WARNING: Sex is not the primary focus of this story. If you're looking for erotic content, you'll do much better with other stories on Nifty. While sexual content is secondary and incidental, the story does include some scenes that depict sex and violence, sometimes graphically depending upon the characters and circumstances involved. For that reason, the story is intended for mature audiences only. If you do not wish to read such material or it is illegal for you to do so, please look elsewhere. The story remains the property of the author and may not be reproduced in any form without written permission. It is protected by the copyright laws of the United States and other countries. You may download a single copy to read offline and to share with others as long as you credit me as the author, but you may not use this work for commercial purposes. You may not use any of the characters, bars or other fictional locations described in the story in your own work without my explicit permission. Nor may you use, alter, transform, or build upon this story in any way.

AUTHOR NOTES: This is my first effort at writing a story. As a general rule, I only plan to publish one chapter a week, usually on Thursdays. The latest chapter will always be posted on my blog before being published here. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome. Flames will be ignored. If you would like to let me know what you think, feel free to contact me at While there is no required reading list for my story, I think the next chapter will be more meaningful and strike closer to home if you read this post from my blog before you read Chapter 17. In any event, thanks for reading the story. I hope you enjoy it.

THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER: In Chapter 15, Nolan and Josh find out they’ll be attending the same overnight session at Williams and that their tour guide, Paul, will be their host for the visit. Josh takes the bus to Williamstown where he’s greeted by Nolan and Paul. They go back to Paul’s place where they meet Paul’s good looking boyfriend, Aaron, and discuss their plans for the rest of the day. Later, the boys attend a lecture by a younger professor with a different approach to teaching. The lecture focuses on the Vietnam War and the two boys end up liking the professor, especially since both of them consider him hot. Still later, they split up and Josh attends an event put together by the Athletic Department. While trying not to get his hopes up too high, Josh is impressed with Williams.


Part II - Innocence Abused

Chapter 16

The reception at the Athletic Department ended around 5:30 and I quickly walked back to the Student Union where I found Aaron, Paul, and Nolan waiting for me.

As we exited the building and started for the lot where Aaron's car was parked, I suddenly became aware of what sounded like a bunch of people shouting. Turning the corner, I saw a group of about thirty students in front us just sitting there on the road, blocking traffic. Police cars were quickly descending on the place from every direction, their sirens only adding to what was rapidly becoming a totally chaotic situation.

The students were holding signs and chanting.

Hey, Hey,

Ho, Ho,

Ain't no way we're going to go!

Hey, Hey,

Ho, Ho,

Ain't no way we're going to go!

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Aaron moaned, “not these assholes again.”

“What the heck is going on?” Nolan asked, as we stood there staring at the group.

“Oh, that's our local chapter of the Communist Party demonstrating against the war,” Aaron said. “Again! This is the second time they’ve done it this month.”

“Really?” I interjected, incredulous. “Those people are really communists?”

“Aaron has a tendency to exaggerate a little, Josh,” Paul replied, smiling at me. “But, no, they’re not communists, just students against the war.”

“May as well be communists,” Aaron responded, angrily. “All they ever do is attack our government about the war.”

“So you support the war then, Aaron?” Nolan asked.

“Absolutely,” he replied. “You know what they say. If we don't stop them over there in Burkistan, they'll be coming here next.”

“I kind of doubt they’ll be coming to Williamstown any time soon, Aaron,” Paul replied, trying to calm his roommate down. “Unless they want to die of boredom, that is,” he added, smiling.

“But that's neither here nor there,” he continued. “We best get to the car quickly or we'll get caught in this traffic mess for sure.”

I guess Aaron knew another way to get to North Adams because we were there soon enough without running into any problems. Remembering how much I had enjoyed the food at Jack’s, I ordered a hamburger, just like the last time. That’s when Aaron corrected me.

“They don’t call them hamburgers here, Josh,” he said. “In North Adams, they’re called hamburgs. It’s the only place in the universe where they’re called that to the best of my knowledge,” he added, laughing. “But they’ll know you’re a tourist for sure if you keep ordering a hamburger.”

Nolan ended up ordering two hot dogs, flashing his eyes at the cook and begging him to make sure they were really big. I wanted to crawl out the door when he said that. It was so embarrassing.

While the four of us ate, Nolan and I exchanged ideas about the different organizations we wanted to visit that evening. Mostly we were going to be visiting the same ones, but there were a few different groups each of us wanted to check out.

After we had finished with that, I was kind of surprised when Nolan raised the topic again.

“Do you have a lot of demonstrations like that one?” he asked, looking at Paul and Aaron.

“Too many for my taste,” Aaron replied. “They keep sitting down in the road blocking traffic and making it impossible to get around town. If you ask me, the cops need to toss them in jail and throw away the key.”

“The number of demonstrations does seem to be increasing,” Paul chimed in. “It used to be they only held them every couple of months. Now we seem to be having them every month. They're kind of a nuisance, but I suppose they have the right to their opinion as much as anyone else.”

“I just wish the government would draft all of them and send them over to Burkistan,” Aaron chimed in. “It would serve them right if they got their heads blown off over there.”

“Let me ask you something,” I said, turning to Aaron. “Because, the thing is, we just had a kid in my home town who was killed in the war. Do you ever worry you might get drafted and have to go fight over there?”

“Never,” Aaron replied. “There’s no way that’s ever going to happen.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“It just isn’t,” he said. “For one thing, that war is going to be over in a year at the most. Now that President Matthews has decided to stop dilly dallying around and has sent enough troops to get the job done, it’ll be over real quick. We’re going to kick some serious butt now that we have enough troops on the ground over there.”

“I see,” I responded. “So you think it’ll be over in a year. What about you, Paul? Do you agree with that?”

“I sure hope it’ll be over in a year or even sooner,” Paul replied. “I'm no expert, of course, but those rebels seem pretty poorly armed from everything I hear. I don't see how they'll be able to hold out too long against our troops.”

“I disagree,” Nolan suddenly chimed in out of the blue. “I think it’ll take a lot more than a year. It could take four or five years, maybe even longer.”

“But, then again, what do I know? I'm only 16 years old after all,” he added, fluttering his eyes in a way that made the three of us laugh. “Soon to be 17,” he added. “Feel free to give me your birthday presents in advance.”

“I brought mine along with me,” I said, smirking. “I’ll give it to you later tonight.”

That brought forth even more laughing.

“Promises, promises,” Nolan replied. “It better be a good one, Josh.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it just fine,” I responded, determined to change the topic. “But as far as the war goes, you follow it a lot closer than most people so I bet you’re right about it taking longer than anyone expects.”

“Enough of all this talk about war,” Paul finally piped up. “We're here to make sure you guys have a good time. We need to be getting back over to the campus. Tonight is your chance to see the non-academic side of Williams.”

Later, when we got back into the car, Paul handed both Nolan and me a rainbow colored ticket.

“You guys will need those tickets to get into the dance at Hardy House,” he said. “It’s something we do to protect ourselves from unwanted visitors so don’t lose them. We’ll have a hell of a time if you do.”

I tossed mine into the info packet Paul had put together for Nolan and me. Then the four of us headed back to Williamstown. When we got back to the campus, we changed our clothes and I soon discovered what Nolan had meant about slut clothes.

He had let me change first and then gone back into the room we were sharing. When he finally emerged five minutes later, I remember being stunned. He looked totally awesome, that’s for sure; and totally like a slut, too, no doubt about it.

I could feel myself getting aroused really quickly and I couldn’t breathe. In fact, it seemed like I was hyperventilating just looking at him.

It was the strangest combination of colors I had ever seen, something I would never have thought up for myself. And yet it was so simple, just a pair of faded blue jeans and a lime green t-shirt with white streaks and a picture of a really strange dude wearing a top hat on the front. But it was the accessories that really made the whole outfit.

On his right wrist Nolan was wearing a matching piece of lime green cloth underneath a thick black leather wrist band with silver studs. The belt around his waist was equally thick. It also featured black leather offset once again with silver studs. Hanging from it was a silver chain that ran from his groin up to the left side of his belt, then looped down and around to his butt in back, and finally came creeping back around to the left front of the belt.

I guess you had to be there to appreciate it because I know that description doesn’t do the whole thing justice.

“Wow,” I heard Paul mutter, and I’m pretty sure my own mouth had fallen open just looking at Nolan.

“Um, well, that is definitely one hot outfit, Nolan,” Paul finally stammered. “Are you planning to get raped this evening?” he added, grinning.

“I sure hope so,” Nolan replied, returning his grin. “Assuming Josh can stop panting before the evening is over,” he added, walking over to me.

He placed his arms over my shoulders and stared straight into my eyes.

“Do you think you can do that for me, babe?” he asked, smiling at me.

“I’ll try my best,” I finally blurted out. And with that Nolan just winked at me and gave me a peck on my lips while I stood there trying to figure out why he had just called me babe.

We wandered around the Student Union building together for quite a while, checking out one organization after another to see what they had to offer. A lot of people were looking at Nolan, some high school students like us but still others who were obviously students or teachers at Williams.

Not many of the looks were positive. If anything, his outfit seemed to turn off most of the people who looked at us. But Nolan was pretty much oblivious to their stares, focusing on the organizations and his running conversation with me.

Around 8:00 p.m. we split up to check out some of the organizations that only one of us was interested in. For me, that was mostly some of the sports organizations, like the Gymnastics Club. At one of them I ran into Brett again.

“Hi,” he said smiling at me. “We meet again, Josh.”

“Hi,” I responded. “It’s nice to see you again. I just wanted to check this group out.”

The two of us talked for a while about the organization, but mainly about how my day had gone at Williams. Brett seemed happy I was having a good experience. Finally, knowing I had one or two other organizations I wanted to check out, I made my apologies and started to leave.

I’m not sure what caused it exactly, but my foot got caught on something as I turned and I stumbled, dropping everything in my hands in the process.

“Are you okay?” Brett asked, leaning down to help me up from the floor.

“I think so,” I responded. “Sorry to be such a klutz,” I added, embarrassed.

“Here,” Brett said, leaning over. “Let me help you pick up your stuff.”

Everything was scattered all over the floor and I tried my best to scoop it up.

“What’s this?” Brett asked, looking over at me.

He was holding a bunch of papers he had picked up, including the rainbow ticket Paul had given me earlier.

Shit, I remember thinking. I hope he doesn’t look at that too closely.

“I don’t know,” I responded, reaching over to take the papers from him. Brett handed them to me, all of them except for the ticket. He was just staring at it, kind of confused.

“Hmm,” he said, looking at it. “QSU?” QSU?”

“I guess it must have come with the packet I got,” I responded, trying to build my alibi. “I didn’t go through all of the stuff before I came over here so I have no idea what that is.”

“QSU,” Brett muttered again. “Hey, that stands for Queer Student Union. It looks like some kind of ticket to some event they’re holding tonight.”

“I dunno,” I responded, trying not to let him see how nervous I was. “It’s not on the schedule,” I added, looking down at the main sheet listing all of the events Williams had planned for the evening.

“Well I’m sure you won’t have any use for this then,” Brett continued. Then he ripped the ticket in half and tossed it into the wastebasket next to the table he had been sitting behind.

“No, I guess not,” I agreed.

Shit, I remember thinking. Why did I have to trip and do something so stupid?

With that I gathered up my stuff and said my good byes to Brett once again.

I wandered around the Student Union looking for Nolan. By now I was beginning to panic.

How will I get into the dance without a ticket?

Not finding Nolan, I decided to head over to Hardy House. I went in and looked around. I had no clue where the dance was being held so I just waited there near the entrance. Eventually two guys came in and I had a pretty good idea they were gay because one of them was dressed almost as flamboyantly as Nolan.

I watched where they were headed and followed them. When they disappeared into a room, I figured I would check it out. I walked over to the desk in front of the door to the room.

“Is this where the dance is?” I asked.

“And what dance would that be?” the guy behind the desk asked, eyeing me closely.

“The dance being put on by the Queer Student Union,” I replied. “I had a ticket, but I lost it and my friend is inside.”

“Is that right,” the guy replied. “Well that’s certainly a shame then because you can’t go in there without a ticket.”

I tried to explain to the guy what had happened, but he didn’t seem to want to listen. I asked him whether they could page Nolan, but he just said no. Then I asked him whether he knew Paul and Aaron, but he didn’t say anything to that.

I was beginning to panic right about then when who should walk in but Paul and Aaron.

“Boy, am I ever glad to see you guys,” I said. Then I quickly explained what had happened.

“Oh, God, no,” Aaron moaned, rolling his eyes.

“I’ll take care of it, Aaron,” Paul said. “Why don’t you go inside and explain to Nolan what’s happened.”

“In the meantime, I’ll see what I can do out here,” he added.

“Good luck with that,” is all Aaron said in response.

While Aaron disappeared inside the room, Paul started to talk to the guy out front. Not knowing what else to do, I started pacing up and down the corridor, wondering how long it would be before I’d get into the dance. By now I was beginning to miss Nolan and was desperate to see him again.

Finally, Paul came over and spoke to me.

“I tried, Josh,” he said, softly. “I tried my best. But it’s a rule we have. You have to have a ticket to get into the dances. We’ve had problems in the past with straight guys infiltrating our dances and disrupting them. So we all agreed on this.”

“You won’t be able to go to the dance,” he continued, “but the four of us can do something else tonight. We could even go to that straight dance if you want. It’s not like you’ll be dancing, but the fun part is just talking with some of the other high school students who are here and learning more about them.”

It was right about then that Aaron came out of the room and walked over to us. Nolan wasn’t with him.

“Where’s Nolan?” Paul asked.

“He’s inside, dancing,” Aaron replied. “He seems to be glued to some dude. Did you have any luck?” he asked Paul.

“I didn’t,” Paul responded.

I remember feeling kind of sick to my stomach. Nolan was inside. Dancing with some other boy I didn’t know. And it must have been a slow dance too because Aaron had said Nolan was glued to the guy.

“So what do you think we should do?” Aaron asked Paul. “Nolan seems to be enjoying the dance. I think he wants to stay.”

“Well, then, why don’t you go back in and hang out with him, Aaron,” Paul replied. “I’ll stay out here with Josh.”

“Josh, do you want to go to the straight dance with me?” he asked. “Like I said, we can just talk to some of the other kids. Or we can do something else entirely. It’s up to you.”

Mostly what I remember right then was being hurt. Nolan wanted to stay at the dance. He wanted to dance with some other boy. He didn’t care I wasn’t inside with him. He didn’t care about me at all it seemed.

“I guess,” I responded. “I don’t know what else to do except hang around here and wait for Nolan. And from what Aaron says, it seems like he isn’t planning on coming out anytime soon.”

But I was wrong about that. The next thing I knew Nolan was walking over to the three of us.

“Hi,” he said, looking at me, kind of sheepishly. “Sorry I didn’t come out sooner. I thought I was having a good time. But I wasn’t because you weren’t there, Josh. Forgive me?”

“Sure,” I said, smiling at him. “This whole thing is my fault, not yours. I’m sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to the dance.”

I think Paul and Aaron were relieved we had worked it out.

“So what do you want to do, guys?” Paul asked. “Josh and I were thinking of going over to the straight dance; not to dance, of course, just to talk to some of the other high school kids there.”

“Is that what you want to do, Josh?” Nolan asked. “It’s fine with me if you do.”

Not having a better plan, that’s what we ended up doing.

But it didn’t turn out so good. We were only inside a couple of minutes when this guy started getting on Nolan’s case about his clothes. You could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“What are you, some kind of faggot, pretty boy,” he said, challenging Nolan. “Because this dance is for normal people, not fags.”

Some of the other guys standing nearby who overheard him started laughing.

I was thinking we should probably leave, but Nolan refused to back down.

“That’s really perceptive of you,” he said to the guy. “It just so happens I am a faggot. Are you a faggot too?”

“Listen, you little queer,” the guy said. “You better shut your fucking mouth before I decide to rearrange that pretty boy face of yours.”

“Oh, it’s my face you like,” Nolan responded. “I’m sorry. I thought you liked my clothes. If it’s my face you like, you can give me a kiss, sweetie. Or maybe you’d prefer to kiss my ass.”

By now Paul and Aaron were starting to get really nervous and a crowd was beginning to gather. Then I noticed Brett was standing nearby as well, just watching the whole thing. I wanted us to walk away, but the guy was getting madder and madder. And then he lunged toward Nolan.

The moment he did it I stepped in between the two of them, facing the guy.

“We’re not bothering anyone,” I told him. “We’re here to have some fun tonight, just like you.”

“What are you,” the guy said, angrily, “a friend of the little queer or something?”

Brett was still standing there, watching the whole thing. I wondered what he was thinking.

“Yes, I’m a friend of his,” I said. “And I just don’t see the point of getting into a fight over this.”

It was right at that moment that Professor Jeffords walked by and I remember being shocked when he said it.

“Well, that would make you a very sensible young man,” he said, looking over at the three of us, “unlike some of my other students, apparently. I’m constantly amazed at just how little sense some people have, especially when they’ve been drinking. It’s a shame, really.”

“I thought Mr. Wilson there was more intelligent than that,” he added, looking directly at the guy who had been causing the trouble.

As he walked past us, the crowd that had gathered around started to break up and move away pretty quickly. Then the Wilson dude just turned and walked away too.

“Let’s go guys,” I said, herding Aaron, Paul and Nolan toward the door.

Later, on the walk back to their suite, Aaron and Paul congratulated me for defusing the situation.

“Nolan’s the one who deserves the praise,” I said, looking over at him. “He didn’t back down. I was really proud of him for that. But I’m sure glad Professor Jeffords happened along like that. He made all the difference tonight, that’s for sure.”

When we got back to the suite, Paul showed us where Nolan and I would be sleeping.

“You’re welcome to pull the beds together if you want,” he said, smiling at the two of us. “My responsibilities as a host officially end when the two of you close that bedroom door behind you.”

Nolan and I retired to the bedroom and closed the door. While Nolan started pulling the beds together, I stripped off my clothes rapidly. I had been waiting for this moment forever and was all over Nolan in a flash.

I pulled him close to me and started kissing him passionately, forcing my tongue into his mouth roughly, then exploring it systematically. I dropped my hands down to his belt and started tugging at it. It frustrated my efforts momentarily, but my hands refused to take no for an answer. I pulled the buckle apart and used my hands to push his pants all the way down. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and that turned me on even more.

Wrapping him in my arms, I lifted him off of the floor, using one hand to pull his pants all the way off. He was half naked now, but not for long. As I tugged at his t-shirt, he lifted his arms and allowed me to pull it over his head. I decided to ignore the studded leather wrist band and pushed him down on to the bed, kind of roughly.

I kneeled over and started to lick him all over, first his neck and his shoulders, then his nipples. He was starting to whimper now. It was a turn on for me. I liked it when Nolan whimpered. It meant he was no longer able to resist and I could do whatever I wanted with him.

There was real intensity to our efforts and rapidity as well. I ripped open the condom and pulled it on as quickly as I could. Then I reached over and grabbed the K-Y.

“Oh, God,” Nolan moaned, his body tensing up initially, then slowly trying to relax once again, as I pushed into him. His legs tightened around my waist while his buns tightened around what they had been hungering for.

“Do it, Josh,” he moaned, the hunger in his eyes all too evident to me. “Do it, babe.”

Within moments we were locked together firmly and I began thrusting back and forth rapidly.

“So good,” I moaned. “It feels so good, Nolan.”

Nolan wrapped his legs around my torso, trying to pull me in even deeper. It didn’t take long, of course. It had been building all day for both of us. The explosion came quickly and both of us groaned simultaneously.

I collapsed on to Nolan and the two of just lay there, each of us breathing rapidly and deeply.

With my passion momentarily satiated, I remember thinking there was something different about Nolan. He didn’t seem so small or slight any more. In fact, he was beginning to develop some serious muscles. I remember liking his body and told him how much I was impressed. Then the two of us resumed our kissing. The night was still young and we had a lot of time to make up for.

It was Paul who finally woke us up the following morning. He found the two of us naked, just clinging to one another, asleep, not wanting to be awakened. But he awakened us nonetheless.

“You guys are so perfect together,” he said, smiling at Nolan and me. Then he left us alone for a few moments, knowing how much it would sadden us to get out of bed.

We were on the run for most of the day. It was pretty intensive and our schedules kept the two of us apart more than the previous day. We attended different classes. We did different things. I got to spend more time at the Athletic Complex while Nolan was off doing his thing. We did get to eat lunch together along with Paul and Aaron. But the day was over a lot faster than either of us wanted.

Nolan walked me down to the station that evening and stayed with me until the bus arrived. He gave me a hug when they announced we were boarding and then reminded me again we would be seeing each other right after Christmas. He had invited me to spend winter vacation with him in New York the previous evening and I knew my Mom would agree.

I was the last person to get on to the bus and it pulled away more quickly than either of us wanted. And there I was, in the dark, alone again.

It was quiet on the ride back up to Rutland. I remember thinking Christmas was a long time away. I had really enjoyed the two days we had shared together, but right then all I could think was how much I wanted to be opening my Christmas present from Nolan in New York City.

[Please check the Author Notes in the header above if you haven’t already done so]