Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2001 21:11:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: Chuck
Subject: Connections (chapter 5)

Chapter 5! To anyone who waited for Chpt. 5. I am truly truly truly sorry!
Even though I have no life whatsoever (well right now that is) I've been
busy with hell with friends, work, and school (not this one for awhile
though...yipee!). Anyways, I hope this one goes as well as the other and I
hope you guys would like it. Again I'm sorry.

*******
Chapter 5
*******

His dark brown, really black to me, stared at me without any sort of
feelings to make me feel comfortable. The sunglasses he held on his right
hand blinded my eyes when it shinned a bright spotlight right at my
eyes. "I'm Gabriel. Call me Gabe."

"Cool, nice to meet you man," I said smiling back while slapping his
offered hand and shook it. He looked at Philip's house expressionless and
held his sport bag while flexing his arm muscles. He asked quite rudely,
"This is the place where I'm staying?"

Philip laughed and patted his back which kind of made Gabriel smile a bit
that showed the small braces that made him somehow look younger. They both
went inside talking to each other as if I wasn't even there. I looked at
myself and wondered if I looked so bad that hardly even Philip noticed
me. It's gotta be this cheap fuckin' polo I'm wearing. Fuck, I should've
wore that grey polo shirt I bought last last three months ago. I looked at
my shadow on his patio and noticed the shadow of my hair flying up and down
as the wind blew eastward. I held my hair with both my hands and felt like
I just wanted to get out and come back when I get a major make over. But I
slowly went inside by myself and saw Philip and Gabe walking to the living
room. Philip noticed me coming in as they both sat beside each other in
this couch. He grinned and waved his hands closer. "Hey Jake c'mere."

That kind of made me feel weird all of a sudden. I felt like I was his
butler or something. But I shook that feeling off. I went inside the living
room with a wide smile on my face. Before he could say anything, I asked,
"So...you guys, how's the trip back here?"

"Like being in an unwanted sauna," Gabe replied quietly deep toned. Philip
sipped a bit of coke before he grabbed a polo shirt inside a sportsbag and
put it on. He sighed as he rubbed the frozen pop can in his hands. Philip
placed his arms on the back of the couch and his feet on the coffee
table. "Fuck...the heat was god damn unbearable. I mean there we were in
the middle of highway 4-0-NOWHERE where all you could see outside is dust
and shrubs and the air going all wavy on you and Roel didn't even want to
turn on the AIC. He said it wastes too much gas."

"Gas my ass. I would've melted back there. Couldn't even afford an extra
fuckin' tank of gas," Gabe said gulping his coke now burping afterward. I
smiled and then I heard Roel screaming from the kitchen. "I HEARD THAT! For
god's sakes hello?! 77 cents a fuckin' litre?! You nuts?!"

We all laughed and after, Philip got up and squeezed beside me on the small
couch I sat on. He laid one of his legs over mine and placed his head on my
shoulder snuggling his face on my neck. He drew out his lips and kissed me
slightly on my neck. I noticed Gabe was looking at both of us oddly, but I
ignored him.

"God...I missed you," Philip whispered on my ear. In the corner of my eyes,
I saw Gabriel lifting one up of his eyebrows.

"I think this is the cue to leave you 'gals'," Gabe said with a half
grin. Gabriel looked really tough and serious, but whenever he smiled, he
looked so innoncent, especially with those braces. He stood up and his
shoulder muscles flexed a bit. Then, he placed back his sunglasses covering
his beautiful eyes making him look even more mysterious, but handsome in
the same time. If he could only wear a t-shirt or something. I was getting
sick of seeing tank top everywhere. When he left the living room to the
kitchen where I heard him ask Roel if he could help, I pulled Philip's
sunglasses from his shirt and started doodling around with it. He didn't
buy this from the past couple of weeks that's for sure. There were so many
scratches and dents on the sides and even in the shades itself. But it was
unnoticeble unless you look closely. I wore the glasses then looked at
Philip smiling. "How do I look?"

He laughed, "You look like a drug addict or some kind of a washed up
celebrity! It's too big for you."

He pulled it off my head and wore it. "How do I look?"

"Heh, you look like my very own Prince William: the non-rich and infamous
and gay one! Oh...and might I add with the more masculine and american look
and feel?" I said feeling the extreme heat of his whole body against
me. Before I could get even up to turn on the air con, his arm that was
around me pulled me closer. Then, he kissed me on the lips. His tongue
forcedly went inside my closed lips exchanging saliva and taste. He still
tasted like spear mint but it was a bit bland and bitter. I removed myself
from him and complained, whispering to him, "Cool it! You've got straight
companies!"

He grinned and planted a kiss on my upper lip, "So? It's not like they
don't know about 'us'. And besides, if they do see us...who knows? They
might want an orgy!"

I laughed and wrapped my hand around him. Then, I brought myself closer to
him despite that we were both sweating from our body heat. I whispered to
him putting my hands on his sweaty face, "Haven't you ever thought that
your sick? Incest!"

He snickered and brushed my hair with his hand. "Roel will only do
Gabe. I'm not gonna let anyone <I>touch</I> you, not even yourself!"

I giggled and tried not to imagine it 'cuz seriously, the thought of it
really made my brain down there stir up. "Only if you like vienna sausage!"

He laughed so hard that he could hardly breathe. When he stopped, I placed
my thumb on the part of his shirt where his nipple were erecting. I looked
down on his chest and said to him, "I really missed you, you know?"

Then I looked up to gaze at his hazel eyes. His pupils were diluted almost
covering his whole hazel eyes and then, almost predicting what was going to
happen, he planted a kiss on my sweaty forehead and caressed it with his
two thumbs. He smiled weakly but hugged me so tight that I had to remove my
hand that was being squished between our body. "Jake...I was the one who
fuckin' missed you the most...fuck...I couldn't take it man...not being
with you. You know how much I wanted to call you every single freakin'
morning, noon and night just to hear your voice or your breath on the
phone? A lot!"

"That's so sweet," I said smiling a bit. He lightened his grip on me and
shook his head. The seriousness in his face didn't disappear. His loud
voice became a lot softer that I think I was the only who could hear
it."I'm serious, Jake. Even that didn't made me feel better. Most of the
nights, even when I'm fuckin' tired, I would start thinking about
you...wondering...what you might be doing or thinking and when I do...I
would end up thinking about you all night and I'd wake up Gabriel so I
could talk about you to him, just so he could say to me how lucky I am to
have you and how people would kill to have a relationship like ours. And
when I thought about you, I was wondering if...somehow you're thinking
about me. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I was wondering that
time if somehow, you felt the same way towards me."

He paused. I didn't say anything since I knew he was about to
continue. "You...don't know how much I was glad when I saw you today. Fuck,
I mean, you were the first one I asked God last night to see today. Fuck my
parents and my relatives to greet me when I came back, the only one I
wanted to see is you...and I did. And...you don't know how much I was happy
that time. Hell, I didn't even know! I felt like jumping up and down,
screaming like fuck...bash Roel's car or whatever. And when I hugged
you...it just felt...so...so right!"

"Heh, you gotta stop saying the word 'Fuck'," I said smiling. He smiled to
and apologized. This time, I was the one who was hugging him tight. I
didn't even want to let go even though a minute ago, it was so hot that I
didn't even want to dare to hold him this close. The exanding of his body
as he breathe continued to quicken and I could feel his heart beat fast
inside him.  I smiled, "Well I miss you too! Not that much that I would
tell my mom or somethin', but enough to get a major tantrum to stop talking
to Leo and to realize what he was doing n' everything."

We heard Gabriel's swearing in the kitchen mixing with the beat of pots and
cans clattering. Philip smiled and whispered, "Trust me, that's pretty much
my alarm clock back then. Gabe's my temporary chef this past month. And it
took awhile to get used to his stuff."

I grinned and so did he. We were just lying there for a few minutes quietly
after until I kind of got curious about Gabriel. I asked, "Speaking of
Gabriel...how long's he staying?"

"Until the end of summer. Why? Don't like him?" he asked. I shook my head,
or at least I tried since every single body movement caused excess sweat. I
rubbed off the sweat that was trickling on Philip's forehead down to his
sideburns and explained to him what I basically thought of Gabriel. "No no!
Not at all. He's just looks kinda scary is all. Besides...I really think
he's really hot! I mean...the sunglasses and his gorgeous black eyes! Where
do you get these guys? Is every friend you have back there look good as
that...or even better?"

He laughed slightly while tickling my leg by moving his big toe slightly
against my skin. "Well, he's one of the 2 guys I hung out with back
then. There were also these three girls I hung aroudn with who looked hot
as hell until I completely lost my interest on them. To your question...I
guess yeah. You could say the guys in my old school are as gorgerous as
him. More or less."

"Oh." I wasn't really expecting THAT kind of response from him. It kind of
made me want to know more about him, mainly about who he liked and who he
had, or still has, the hots or crush for. "Really you were interested at
girls? Wow! Even I can't compare to that!"

"Back when I was in grade 6. But that was it! And you comparing yourself to
my friends?! For pete's sake, you're the cutest guy I know. I mean if we
didn't know each other, you woud've turned my head around in a mall or
something if passed by me." Cutest. There's a big difference between
cuteness and gorgeous. Major difference. Gorgeous is someone you'd have the
goosebumps when looking at them, Cute people...puppy cute. It makes me feel
so feminine. I tried not to think about what I thought about what he said
about me though. Cutest. Yeah, that's a good enough compliment. "So
umm...do you have any...crushes on 'em?"

"Yeah. I <I>used</I> to. Not major crushes or anything but enough to stalk
them," he said kind of laughing a bit. I kind of looked down and then
without even thinking what I was going to ask, I said the three words that
made me cringe in my insides. "How about Gabe?"

"Gabriel? What about him?" he asked like he didn't even know what I was
asking him. This time, I thought of what I was about to say, and had the
bit of courage to say it in front of his face despite that I wasn't looking
straight to his eyes. But as I was about to say what was in my mind, he
quickly interrupted me, "I get it! You think I have the hots for him?"

"Well...yeah. I mean even I think he's hot, and he's your friend...close
friend even and plus you hang out with twenty four seven..."

"Jake, since you wanna know the truth, then I did...a lot," He said it just
like that without any hesitation whatsoever. Should I be surprised?
Definitely YES. Jealous, a bit. Hurt...I guess I have the right to say
yes. I was expecting more of like he only liked him a bit more of a friend
but nothing more that he'd actually do everything in the world to get
him. It's funny. I'm getting jealous and hurt because he had a crush on his
really close friend and the ironic thing is I know how it felt like to have
a crush on one of your really close friends, which is in my case, my
bestfriend Leo. The only difference is that he doesn't know anything about
my thing. I just can't help feeling this way. I guess I get jealous easily,
I mean this IS my first relationship. "...Jake...it's not like that. I
don't feel for him anymore...okay?"

"What?! Why do you think I'm jealous?" I said pretending that I wasn't at
all jealous, even though I was. He smiled and kissed me on the lips. He
closed his eyes and kept his face close to mine. "I know you well enough,
and when you stop talking, there's gotta be a reason."

"Okay so I'm jealous. How I am suppose to feel? Happy that you like him?
This is like my very first gay relationship you know."  I blushed from
embarrassment and I sweated like crazy. He caressed my moist face; his eyes
still closed.

"Liked him, past tense thank you very much. Just be a bit understanding is
all I'm asking."

"I understand...don't worry about it," I said. I knew he faked a smile
afterward since his eyes were looking somewhere else other than my eyes. He
sat up and sniffed the air. He frowned and said, "Something's burning."

Then all of a sudden, I noticed it too and we started sniffing the air. It
definitely smelled like burning plastic or something. As soon as I stood
up, the alarm went off and we ran into the kitchen where Gabe had already
taken off his glasses. He covered his mouth coughing like crazy while
waving his hand to protect his face from the black smoke that came out of
the oven. Roel was crouching down while holding the oven door wide open. He
wore a thick mitten and grabbed the black crusted, I think, pizza. Philip
crossed his arms. He said exaggerating a bit, "Next time...let the gay guys
do lunch! We so know more about cooking than you guys."

Gabriel raised his eyebrow while Roel scratched the back of his head. He
groaned, "Guess there won't be lunch."

Then Philip grabbed me and Gabe. "Hey...I got dough in my pocket. We'll
just go out and eat...besides it wouldn't hurt to give Gabez here some tour
around the city."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just don't go crazy and start kissing in public," he
said placing the big pan on the sink. Sweat trickled down his face as he
sighed in relief while the cold water from the faucet splashed against his
hands. Gabe reached for his glasses and placed it on while Philip took my
left hand to hold it and necked me. "We won't."

*****

We walked past slowly at a bridge where the stench of the polluted river
underneath would either throw you up or choke you to death. Gabe covered
his nose and kept walking. Philip and I lifted our shirts up to our nose to
smell our body odour; it smells way better than THAT!

"I don't know wether to laugh or to feel sorry for you," Gabe said
sarcastically. I looked at him and the glare of the sunlight from his
glasses blinded my eyes again. Philip rolled his eyes and instinctively
reached into my hands without even thinking about it. But he retracted his
hands quickly. We both acted as if nothing even happened but the blushes in
our faces were evident. The place we went wasn't really a tourist
attraction, mainly homeless people territory, and as we walked closer to
downtown, the sound of honkings and techno, hip-hop, rap, r&b and pop music
started to get louder. The streets were packed of course. Another perfect
day released everyone out of their homes to the streets buying or window
shop whatever they see. A streetcar passed by us and tons of people came
out while another huge crowd went inside. Gabe stared at the strip bar on
the left side of the street where three pictures of women flashing on the
top. Then, he looked down at the STRAIGHT guys who went inside.

"Buncha losers," he said. Philip turned to him and asked what he was he
talking about. Gabe simply shook his head and didn't say anything. I
thought it was too, in the middle of the afternoon, someone would actually
go inside to have some girl dance on their lap.  And half of the guys that
goes inside looked like hobos, stubbles unshaved and hairs uncombed, with
their pants or shirts stained with dirt. Like, have they ever heard of
Tide?

Without wasting our expensive student tickets, we walked to the mall in the
core of downtown from our place and the distinct smell of clothes and shoes
filled our noses. Of course, the McDonalds in the corner of the mall, too,
made our stomachs grumble. But instead, we went to the food court
downstairs and bought chinese food from Monchowuk instead; it fills up the
stomach for a lower price. While I ate quietly as Philip and Gabe talked to
each other, someone suddenly wrapped their hands around my face. I knew it
was a girl just from the feeling of those small hands, and also the ring on
her right finger that was sort of poking my right eyelid. She whistled,
"Guess who?"

Clarrissa! "Clarrissa!"

"Bitch! Is it my voice?" she asked as she pulled her hands away. I turned
around from my seat and saw her standing right in front of me. She quickly
pinched my cheek while bending down a bit, with her small purse hanging
from midway her left arm. I was smiling from cheek to cheek and I just
feltkind of lighter. I missed her a lot, especially the way her smile
cheers me up. "How are ya kiddo?"

"Fine, fine..." then Gabe sort of coughed purposely to gain my
attention. "Oh...OH! I want you to meet someone."

I turned halfway to the left just enough to see Gabe, then I pointed at him
and introduced him. "Clarrissa that's Gabe...Philip's friend who's staying
here for awhile...and Gabe, this is Clarrissa."

"Nice to meet you," Gabe said smiling, without opening his lips, to
Clarrissa innoncently. Clarrissa smiled back and greeted him back. Then she
looked at me and lipped 'cute.' I giggled and then she asked, "So if you're
here...then Philip's back?"

"Uhh...he's right there," I said pointing behind me. Her eyes widened up
and giggled from embrassement. Philip rolled his eyes and Clarriss quickly
walked fancily to behind him, bent down and hugged him. She also pinched
both his cheeks hard that it turned red. "I'm really sorry! I didn't notice
you with your new hot gorgeous look! How are you?! I bet you worked out
huh?"

Wait 'till she founds out he's gay. "You wish...nah, I'm ok. I just came
back today."

Clarrissa sat down at the empty seat in front of me and started chatting to
both of them. Gabe wasn't the quiet keep-to-himself as I thought he'd be
since he didn't once asked anything about me or even tried to talk to me,
but towards Clarrissa, he talked endlessly, moving from one subject to
another. Philip just stared at both of them only talking when they needed
some comment. Clarrissa managed to get much information from Gabe that
would've taken me days to found out only from Philip. Then, few minutes
passed by before Clarrissa stood up and grabbed her purse from the
table. "I gotta go and see Dane at his house. Walk me to the subway Jake?"

I nodded and stood up. She said something to Philip quietly that I couldn't
hear, then Philip nodded. After she waved to Gabe and Philip, she wrapped
her left arm around my arm and looked straight forward with his left wrist
limped. We walked quietly while passing through bunch of guys, some that
were so hot that I couldn't help giving them a glance. Then, just before we
walked to the stairway leading down to the subway station, Clarrissa pulled
me my arm and walked the other way where it lead outside the mall. "Where
we going?"

"Normally, I don't butt in people's problems," she said. The sun's rays
quickly burned my skin as we walked through bustling crowds on the
sidewalk. The hot humid wave splashed on my face as the south wind blew in
front of me. She wasn't wrapping her arm around me anymore but instead she
was grabbing my short sleeve with her thumb and main finger pulling me
slightly where she was going. "But I'm sick of him hanging out with me
twenty four seven."

"Wha...? What are you talking about?"

"I lied....I'm going to see Leo, not Dane," she said. Great, I can't
believe she's going to make my day suck so bad. By the time she said that
word, I sort of let her dragged me to the place she's meeting up with
him. She dragged me through the bookstore and went inside Paramount. Leo
stood there, his back behind us, staring at the billboard with bunch of the
movies that were playing and its time and date. He had this jersey I've
never seen before and this new denim jeans. Clarrissa pulled me and then
she said outloud, "Hey sorry I'm late! Instead of buying that necklace,
guess who I caught in the mall?"

"Clarrissa..." I said sounding a bit pissed. She ignored me and pulled me
closer. Leo turned around and as soon as he saw me, the innoncent look he
had disapperead into some kind of an awkward look. He looked down at my
shirt and said, a bit softly, "Oh...Jake, hey!"

'Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Stop it with your charming greetings!' I
thought. Clarrissa crossed her arms, waiting for something that would
happen between me and Leo. But nothing did. Clarrissa took something from
her purse and gave it to me. It was a movie ticket...for TODAY! She turned
to Leo, "I can't go to the movies. Mom just paged me and told me to get
home quick."

"Who am I gonna go with?!" he asked surprised. She rolled her eyes and
pointed at me. "I didn't bring him and gave him the ticket for nothing did
I?"

"I..." he stopped. This time, I objected, "I can't go Clarrissa. Philip's
waiting for me in the mall."

"Tut, tut! He knows...I'm gonna bounce off k? My pager's vibrating again,"
she closed her purse and headed to the door. "Have fun you guys!"

Then she's gone. My gut felt like it was about to explode, and my feet
wanted to dash and go back to the mall and see Philip. But I'm stuck here
with this stupid ticket with this guy who...who...who's SOO STUPID!! I'm
still so pissed at him that I can't even remember why I'm so mad at him! I
turned around and dug my hands into the pocket of my jeans. His face was
down, looking down at his shoes. The force of gravity pulled his bottom red
lip down and even though his lips were so red, his rosy cheeks has almost
the same shade of red. His blue eyes shined from the sparkling sun outside
and his light skin looked smooth and lacked of any rash or bumps. Then, his
blue eyes noticed me staring at him. I asked, with frustration blended in
my tone, "So what time is the movie starting?"

"In ten minutes," he said politely. I kind of felt bad now that I'm being a
prick here while he's being so nice to me all the way. I said, slightly
gentler than the way I talked to him before, "Okay...let's go up then."

I stood behind him on the long escalator that lead up. I couldn't ignore
his Ralph Lauren cologne that surrounded him, and the way he stood up
waiting for the escalator to lead us to the second floor. It was like, the
way he stood, he was at peace with himself, casual, calm, not looking like
a thug but like a simple good looking by stander with a nice
cologne....FUCK! What the hell am I thinking?! I guess...that resentment
over him is starting to wear off. I mean, I guess he was just joking. Leo
can be a jerk sometimes, but...to insult someone behind their back, I feel
like Leo can't even take that position. Maybe, I was just being too hasty
about how I thought about it. Maybe he's just teasing me that time. But
still, he insulted Philip to someone that doesn't even know Philip. I
guess...all I want is a real sorry. Like, saying sorry to me somewhere
where we're alone, to express himself how he was stupid to say that. Not
like saying sorry in the middle of somewhere sounding pissed or begging for
sorry! That just doesn't sound like a real sorry to me.

He bought two pop and actually knew what kind of flavour I wanted: Sprite,
and also popcorn and nachos with cheese and salsa dip and a bar of kit
kat. He bought enough junk that would last us two days. When we went inside
the theatre...we both sat at the far end left corner of the cinema where
there's only 4 seats per row in the sides. I was, as always whenever I go
to the movies with him, sitting beside the wall while he sat in the seat
next to me. Of course, I was uncomfortable. I'm not mad at him now, but I
feel kind of weird around him. It's like I guess hanging out with a friend
you barely even know. My hands were all tingly, my stomach kept on churning
and it felt like as if I was still outside even though the whole place was
air conditioned. We sat there quietly. The last word that came out of our
mouth was when I said to go in the second floor. But he broke the awkward
cycle of silence, with an even awkward question. "Are you ok?"

"Uh...yeah...why shouldn't I be?" I asked calmly...cooly. I looked at him
as he looked back at me. His beautiful blue eyes changed to green from the
dim yellow lights on the top, and his short un-gelled blonde hair became a
different shade of yellow orange. Then, the lights became dimmer and dimmer
until there was no lights at all. I looked at the front where the
commercial ad of "Glossette's" started playing. I heard him whispering to
me, despite that the speakers were just on top of me. "'Cuz you're shaking
and sweating in the same time. Are you sick?"

"No...I'm not. Stop asking me questions 'cuz the movie's starting!" I know
it was kind of mean to say it very harshly, but I just couldn't control
it. Maybe I am sick. He looked away quickly and dropped the nachos back in
the plastic case that he just picked up. I shook my head and held his
shoulder. He looked at me with his now gray eyes as I explained, "I'm
sorry. It's me ok? It just came out of nowhere that's all. Don't mind me."

He smiled and whispered back while shaking his head also, "S'ok."

"So....how come you're not dilly dallying with your beau? She's usually
around in a 2 metre radius from you," I said moving myself moving a bit
closer to him until my elbow felt the side of his body. "Clarrissa or
Angela didn't tell you? We broke up."

"What?! What happened?" I asked. I almost shouted since they were so sweet
together, in a heterosexual way I mean. He shook his head and tried to
smile while trying his best not to look at me since the movie was already
starting. "I-it's a long story. It just didn't work out"

"Oh...sorry to hear that. You should've told me sooner, you know. I mean I
AM your bestfriend," I whispered sarcastically. He snickered, "You forgot
that you were ignoring me."

I laughed a bit and stayed silently throughout the movie. The movie ended
and when we got out of the movie theater, I started acting kinda nicer to
him. I smiled when he looked at me and we even started a conversation. Not
a really long conversation but a pretty amazing thing to achieve in under
an hour. I told him about Philip coming back today. Of course, he wasn't
surprised one bit and just nodded when I told him about Philip. But I
rambled on and on about how I missed Philip so bad and how it was so good
that he came back. A few more days without him I think would nearly put me
to death. Leo laughed at that remark and jokingly said that he would kill
himself quickly after and kick my butt in heaven if I do that.

We were speed walking out of the subway and when I noticed it was already
around nine pm, I refused his offer for me to sleep over at his place. It
wasn't because I didn't too but I told him that Philip must be already
waiting for my phone call. Leo smiled and we departed afterwards at the
street where he goes one way while I go the other. As soon as I came home,
my dad greeted me with a hey while mom greeted me with a warm smile. I
asked my mom, "Did Philip call?"

"No, dear. We just came home actually, so I'm not really sure," she said. I
placed my shoes on the shoe rack and quickly grabbed the cordless and
dialed his phone number. First ring, second, then third, then fourth. I was
about to hang up if it wasn't for someone in the other line picking the
phone up. My blood rushed to my cheeks and it's as if my throat was cut
into pieces. "Hello?"

"Uhh...Philip...hey!" I said sweetly, innocently, quietly,
romantically. But then the voice got all of a sudden weird. "Uhh...Jake is
that you? It's me Roel."

"OH! Hey Roel! Is....uhh...Philip there?" I asked blushing from cheek to
cheek. I slammed my knuckles against my head and tried not to think about
the embarrassment. "No...I thought he was with you?"

This weird feeling came into me out of the blues. I explained about leaving
him with Gabriel somewhere at the afternoon because of someone. I shook my
head and kind of felt down that he wasn't home yet. I continued on, "...In
any case, if he gets home...could you ask him to call me back?"

"No problem lover boy!" Roel suddenly said jokingly. I sarcastically
laughed and said goodbye before I hung up the phone. Around the extra few
hours, I waited for his phone call while I took a quick shower, and changed
into my night clothes. About to fall asleep, I called him again, but Roel
picked up and said Philip wasn't home yet. This time, I started to get
scared. I started to wonder bad things that might've happened to him and
Gabriel; maybe someone found out he's a homo and beat the crap out of him
and Gabe, or maybe some drunk driver drove past them on a red light. My
sleepiness disappeared quickly and even though I fell asleep here and
there, I kept on dreaming about bad things happening to him, which leaves
me sweaty, frightened and wide awake after. I wanted to call his
house...badly this time. But as I looked at the clock, there was NO WAY his
parents would be ok for me to call at this time of night.

I did manage to get a few sleeps but I woke up instantly the next morning
with the thought of calling him in my mind. Someone picked up and when
Philip answered, I sighed. "Good morning Philip!"

"Jake...it's eight in the morning...call me back later okay?" he groaned. I
apologized a thousand times before I let him go back to sleep. Well...at
least he's safe. That's all that matters. I spent my few hours taking a few
snooze amd when I woke up, it was around the afternoon already. It was kind
of weird but without even thinking about it, I grabbed the cordless and my
fingers dialled Philip's number again. Roel picked up and then it kind of
made weird that Philip wasn't home again. I wondered why but I bet he was
with Gabe touring around downtown. No biggie really, but it wouldn't hurt
to invite me in or something.

Since I had nothing to do, I went around my neighbourhood with my
rollerblade passing some of my friend's houses, but not greeting them or
anything, until the sweat on my back started to make my back itchy. I sat
down on this park five blocks away from my place and watched the people
passing by park or going in the park. It was one of those days that the sun
was so bright that it makes you drowsy, so it was hard not to fall asleep
on the bench. Just before I left the park, I saw Roel in his car with bunch
of grocery stuff in the back. He saw me and parked in the side. He opened
the right window then yelled, "You shouldn't rollerblade without your
helmet on you know?"

"Very funny Mr. Roel who's not even wearing a seat belt! Don't you get a
demerit point for that?" I said sticking my head inside the car to feel the
cool A/C.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Wanna come and help me out? Philip's gonna be back in like
twenty minutes and I BET you wanna see him!" he said with this happyish but
disgusted face, while he locked his seat belt. I laughed.

"You're such a homophobe...and yeah whatever. Just to see Philip I would!"
I said opening the door. I went in and removed my rollerblades since it was
kind of awkward sitting down with my knees leveled with my chest. Roel
fanned the empty space in front of his face. "PHEW!"

"And I suppose your socks smells like the petunia garden," I said tossing
the blades at the passenger's side. "I'm not wearing any..."

He raised his left foot enough to let me know that he was wearing sandals.
"...See!"

"Wise guy."

I helped him out with the grocery stuff and we kind of ate lunch for two,
which was kind of weird to me since...well, I mean it's Philip's brother! I
just feel awkward that I'm talking kind of openly to Roel as if we've known
each other for years. But heh, if me and Philip are meant to be, which
sounds funny because we're only 15, then I guess I should get close to some
of his relatives.

For about twenty minutes inside Roel's place, Philip eventually came back
with Gabriel. Roel gazed at me and rolled his eyes, not because I might
make another make out scene or anything, but when Philip and Gabe came, it
was like the house just shook from the laughter Philip did. Men, they're
just bunch of hyenas aren't they? I came out from the kitchen and as soon
as he saw me, his eyes widened from surprise. Then, he grinned and asked,
"Jake! What are you doing here?"

Then, Roel came out holding a garbage bag, who I quickly hugged. "Well Roel
here found me working on Jarvis St. soo....he paid me fifty bucks to
exchange blows!"

Roel drew back quickly with a disgusted look on his face. Gabe laughed and
so did Philip. Gabe said, "Didn't know you'd stoop that low."

"Haha that's a good one Gabe..." I said sarcastically. "...That I almost
forgot to laugh. So...where'd you guys go?"

The three of us sat on the living room and Gabe turned on the T.V. and
tuned into B.E.T. Philip explained, "Just toured him around the city. And I
met Leo on the way."

"Really? Who was he with?" I asked. "No one. He was kind of actually
looking for you, that's my basic assumption 'cuz he asked me where you were
before saying hello."

"You sure he isn't gay?" Gabe interruptely asked. I WISH! I replied, "Yeah
why?"

"Nuthin', just wondering. He knows about you, I mean the 'real' you right?"

"Yeah he does," I said. He nodded and rubbed his chin. "ANYWAYS! Back to
what I was saying, Leo told me to say hi to you. Hehehe, so Clarrissa's
plan worked like a charm huh?"

"That bitch did the trick alright. We're talkin' again, but we're not that
close like before. But we'll be in time."

"Yeah...and I also heard about what happened to Leo and Angela. It's a
shame about Leo," Philip said placing his right ankle on top of his left
thigh. I nodded. "I know eh? I mean like they're such a cute couple. Like,
that's Leo's first...I bet it's really gonna tear him apart."

"No, not that. Every guy can deal with that, but I mean like the other
problem he has. It's sad what he's about to go through right now. I've been
there and it's like going to hell alright; losing all your friends just
because of someone's job," Philip said still rubbing his chin. Gabe nodded,
"I know eh? Man you don't know how much Philip cried."

"What the fuck are you guys talking about here? I thought you never went
out with a girl! Are we in sync here?" I asked. He frowned, "Yeah we are!
We're talking about Leo whole broke up with Angela just because he's
moving!"

That was like a sudden mental punch in my stomach. Fast and hard. My head
started to hurl and I felt like what I ate this morning went back up to my
closed throat and went back down again. I tried to speak but nothing would
just come out. Like I lost my voice because of this. The word that came out
could be barely heard from the loud rap
song. "......W...w...wha...what...?"

"He's moving Jake...shit...didn't you know? Oh fuck...I thought you know,"
Philip said rising up in his seat and quickly sat beside me, while wrapping
his arm around me. Gabe stared at me innoncently. I looked down on the
carpet and my blood boiled, but still I couldn't speak. I fought back the
tears from coming out. He continued, "I'm sorry. I really thought that he
told you why....Jake are you alright?"

"He's....he's moving...?" I asked again hoping that he's just joking as
hell. I was so hoping for the two of them to BREAK into laughter thinking
that this is all a really good but cruel joke made by no one else other
than Gabriel. That I could take....I COULD'VE HANDLED ANYTHING.

Gabriel lowered the T.V. down. Then, Philip closed his eyes and kissed my
ear.

Philip nodded.

 I looked at the music video at the T.V. where Brian McKnight sang "6, 8,
12" until it all became a blur.

*****

Oh yeah, I also changed this section of the series to "Phases of True
Friendship" from "Fallen Angel" due to change of storyline.