It was later. I couldn't tell how much I had slept, but I felt very rested, almost as if I had been sleeping for a week, even though in reality it was probably an hour or so. But I needed it, badly, because of all the events that had happened earlier today, I was pooped! So much had gone on, it was hard to remember it all; I dared not to remember it all anyhow, because it was a bit unsettling.
I lay in bed awake, but still with my eyes closed, just kinda enjoying the silence of everything. I loved my Danny, lying on the opposite side of the bed next to me, sleeping so quietly. I just wanted to lay there all day and rest, but I knew I had to face my parents sooner or later, but that was a good thing because my mom said she wasn't mad at me. What if she was lying and really wanted to yell at me was more and hurt Danny even more than he already was? No, she'd never do that, she sounded honest and sincere over the phone, and I believed every word that she said. It was very possibly that my parents caved and realized that this was my decision and not one thing that they could do would change my mind. I had won.
After much deliberating, I opted to get my lazy ass out of the bed, maybe take a shower or something, then go down to see my parents. Danny was sleeping next to me though, should I let him sleep like the angel that he is, or wake him up so that we may both take a shower together? Well, I'd have to see if he looks like he should be woken up or not; maybe he is already awake and waiting for me to stir in the bed.
I extended my arm slowly and silently across the bed, waiting for my fingers to feel the delicate skin on his back. I arm scaled the entire bed searching for his body, but I didn't feel anything; the bed felt empty. Was he still in bed? My body quickly jolted up and looked. He was gone, not in my bed anymore, not under the covers of my bed, under my silk sheets. Where could he be then? I looked around and didn't even find him in my room. He wasn't in my room, my bedroom.
Wait a second. Not in my bedroom? Not in my bed? Even as concerned I was for where Danny was, I was even more concerned with how I got out of that cabin bed of that cruise ship that was sailing in the Gulf of Mexico, into my bed that was in my house that resided in fucking Fresno, California!
I leapt out of my bed, fully clothed, not nude, as I had been when I felt asleep last. The afternoon sun shone brightly in my room through the window, hitting me head on like a blast from a photon cannon. My eyes shielded by my hand, I looked outside the window to see my neighborhood, right on Blue Hills Road. Something wasn't right here. I was in my fucking room!
I spun around in a circle; it was my room, just as I had left it 2 weeks ago. It was all here: my Smashing Pumpkin and Matrix posters, CD player station, year old computer, my little homework desk and chair that I, well, did homework on, and even my precious lava lamp was still there. Maybe I was dreaming, well, if I actually was dreaming, I wouldn't have certain things in certain places. I quickly ran to my nightstand, placed right next to my bed. I opened up the drawer and looked inside, filled with dirty and horrific smut! Dozens of magazines packed inside, ranging from Playboys to Penthouses to Hustlers. Why would I dream about freaking Playboys in my room? I always dreamed about Danny holding me, touching me, and loving me. This was crap, complete bullshit!
Ok, so this isn't a dream. If it isn't a dream, then what is going on here? How did I get here? Where is Danny? What day is it? What is my name? What do I look like? When is up? Why is blue? Where is celery? WHY? My heart was pounding so fast and I was sweating so profusely, that I didn't even realize I was losing control of my balance and getting dizzy. I collapsed suddenly on my floor, my soft carpeted floor. The pain in the bed of my head didn't even become an issue to me. I didn't like this at all, not one bit.
I rolled over onto my stomach and buried my head deep into the carpeting. I started weeping out loud out of confusion, because I was so confused. I didn't want to be here! I wanted to be back there, back where I had someone's shoulder to cry onto, to where I was loved and could express my love! I wanted to express my love to my love, where was he? Does he even exist anymore? Did he ever really exist?
No, this wasn't happening, not to me. Please God, don't let this happen to me. I felt so trapped, like being inside of a solid metal box, or a large, three-dimensional jigsaw puzzle, or maybe a mouse in a maze searching for a cheese that never existed. I just don't understand why life has to be so complicated and confusing sometimes. All I ask for is peace and simplicity, nothing more. I don't want to figure things out! I don't want to keep wandering where the only person I ever cared about is! I don't want to keep racking my mind, trying to find my way out of situations! And furthermore, I don't want to have dreams and wish they were reality, then have reality and wish it was all a dream. It wasn't fun anymore, if this was a dream I wish I could have just bashed my head against the floor and be done with it. If it wasn't a dream, then what is going on here? Oh, I didn't want to figure another thing out; it was too damn mind numbing to!
Tears were streaming down my face, neck, and arms onto the carpet, dampening it. I was so scared. You wouldn't believe how scared I was, afraid of what happened to me. What happened to the boy that called me cute and smart and funny all the time? I sure as hell didn't feel smart now. I felt like a man who had just come out of a coma, or someone drugged and kidnapped. I had to find out what is going on here. I can't just sit here and let the answer come to me in a vision. I'm the smart one, remember? Smart one of what? Of a relationship that never even existed? But what if it did exist, then where is he now, and how did I get here all of a sudden? People do not fall asleep in one place and wake up in an entirely different area. Oh my god, maybe I've been abducted. Little white aliens could have abducted me in my sleep and sent me to a spaceship that looks exactly like my room. Yeah, even to the smallest detail. Or maybe that's what they want me to think. No, that doesn't make sense, because I can look outside and stuff.
This isn't getting me anywhere. I stopped crying and got the courage to stand up and dust myself off. Now, I am going to figure this enigma out even if it kills me. I looked around the room and immediately my eye caught my suitcase that was sitting a foot from my door. I lunged towards it and broke it open in a split second. I looked inside and found used clothes, messy and not folded. Used clothes, that means that I went on vacation already, right? I began pacing my room like a mental patient. I couldn't go by just my used clothes, I needed a date. My airplane ride to Florida was supposed to take off on the 15th of July and I was supposed to return two weeks later on the 29th, so if day is the 29th or after that date, then I already went on vacation! So how to I find out what the date is now? If I go downstairs and ask my parents they'll surely think me of being crazy or something. I didn't want to risk what else may happen if I faced my parents now. I thought for a moment. My computer has the date of course!
I ran over to my computer, which was already on, and turned the monitor on. Within seconds I was looking upon my beautiful desktop and Playboy wallpaper. What kind of person was I? I wasn't even turned on by girls anymore. Before I did anything else I changed my wallpaper to the Matrix. Matrix is cool. Then I moved my cursor to the time box in the lower right corner of the screen to wait for the date to pop up. August 1st, today is the first day of August and 7:30 P.M. I came back from vacation two days ago.
Ok, so I knew those pieces of information, but I needed more. I needed to know where Danny was, what happened in the last week, and why I can't remember it. Asking my parents would be my very last resort in all of this. While I was racking my brain on the entire thing, an e-mail icon appeared on my taskbar, indicating that I had unread e-mail. Maybe reading some e-mail will help me think more clearly and take my mind off things at the same time, because I wanted to know where Danny was, but didn't want to think about how much I wanted him here with me at the same time. Yes, it's doublethink, but that's what I wanted to do.
I sat down in my chair and double clicked the mail icon. Outlook Express opened and I saw three unread messages. I clicked the first one; it was one of those weekly mailing lists with porn pics that I subscribed to. Without delay I unsubscribed from the list, deleted the e-mail, then moved onto my next piece of e-mail. It was from someone named Justin Friers, probably some random person who e-mails random people. Fortunately I decided to read the message anyway before just deleting it without thinking twice.
Thank you for the nice e-mail and your sympathies. Luckily that was a long time ago and pretty soon I will be starting my new life in a new state and a new school (and hopefully a new boyfriend). If you are confused about that last part, maybe I will tell you once/if we get to know each other better. You said you had a boyfriend, right? What is he like? How do you two meet? Is he cute? What is it like to have sex with him? So many questions I want answered. Sorry, you don't have to answer those questions, I'm just a very lonely person, but you probably figured that out already.
It's just that I really need friends, and I hope that in my neighborhood I will make one or two. It's not as easy as running into the cute boy next door and befriending him like you probably do. Sorry if I'm making a bunch of assumptions about you, I just act like an idiot sometimes. That is why I worry if I will make any friends or not when I move from Texas to Florida. I feel hopeless sometimes, but don't worry about it, I'm not here for pity, I've had enough of that from, well, just about everyone!
You sound like a really cool person, too bad we'll be living so far away or we could be friends and maybe meet one day. Oh well, you have Danny now, so you probably wouldn't to hang around someone like me. Or maybe you are insane and WOULD want to hang around with me. Whatever, write back if you want to tell me more about yourself. Speaking of that, I almost forgot to include information about me! How funny is that? Well, my name is Justin Friers, I currently live in Houston, Texas with my mother, but will be moving to Hollywood, Florida in about 2 weeks. I know, I didn't believe it either when I heard there was a Hollywood in Florida hehehe. Umm, let's see, I have brownish blond hair, I forgot my eye color, I weigh 140 pounds, from lifting weights and stuff, and I am average height, maybe a bit taller. I guess that's about it.
It was cool that Amber gave you my e-mail address, she's a babe. You surprised me by writing such a lengthy e-mail to me, most people write e-mail and say, "I'm sorry, I can relate" and that's all. But you, you wrote an actually e-mail to me, and it was heartfelt and sincere, and you sound cool, too. The only thing I can give you in return is my friendship. Thank you! Gotta go now. Write back to me, please. Take care.
My mouth was left wide open. What e-mail did I write? I don't remember that. Well, I don't remember coming back home, so obviously I wouldn't remember this. I was glad actually, because now I knew that Danny still existed and he was still my boyfriend. Even though it didn't even answer half of my questions, I was still overjoyed that what I believed to be the best week of my life actually had happened!
I wondered what wonderful, magical e-mail I had sent to this Justin kid. Oh well, I wrote it and got a positive response, not like I robbed a liquor store last night and the cops are gonna come busting down my door any second now. Or will they? No, that wouldn't happen, I'm a good boy, who does gay things. That's life.
But this was cool, groovy and all that good stuff. For the most part, I had just made a really good friend, an ally if you will. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't remember writing the e-mail or having the slightest bit of an idea what I said in it. Well, whatever I said, it must have been something really big in order to get that kind of a response. Did it really matter? No, I guess not, as long as I have this friend right now, it'll all be cool. Maybe he'll make some more friends that are like us; hopefully he will, I prayed that he would. It's not easy living a lonely and confused life, not easy at all. This boy needs a reply, and right away. I hit the reply button and a blank screen showed up. This might be hard to type, because I have no idea what I said in my primary e-mail, but I'll give it a try anyhow. I started typing...
Thank you for the nice and sincere reply to my e-mail. I hope you find the happiness that you are searching for when you move soon. You sound like a very nice and decent person, so you deserve it. Too bad we live so far away or we could hook up one day and hang out. Hey, maybe one of us will win the lottery and be able to pay for a plane ticket for Danny and I out there to visit; just some wishful thinking. I'd really love to hear more about yourself, if there is actually anything more you can tell me.
Now, to answer the questions that you asked me now. Yes, I do have a boyfriend named Danny. It's a bit difficult to explain what he is like, because he is so many things to me, yet so simple at the same time! Danny, to me, is everything. He is my happiness, my brother, my best friend, and my soul. There is not one thing that I don't love about him. To say that he is cute would be a major understatement. He is my angel, sent down from heaven just for me; I sometimes suspect that he hides a halo and a set of wings somewhere. He has this gorgeous hair that you could just die for, also one pair of voluptuous hazel eyes. You have no idea what it is like to be in love until you can actually feel someone there, right next to you, to feel his touch, and love, and warmth next to you. It is so amazing sometimes. Well, I'd better stop it right there because I don't want to gloat and have you feel bad.
E-mail me back when you can. I hope we can be good friends. Cyah dude!
I pressed the send button. It was a good e-mail, not long like I had hoped for, but still good. As I waited for it to send, I reclined my chair. I almost forgot how it felt to be in my hotseat once again, not that it was very hot, or gave me much power. While I was leaning back I felt my newly hard cock pressing against my pants. Damn, typing all that great stuff about Danny must have gotten me hard. Was this what I was reduced to now? Getting hard when thinking about my boyfriend? If that was so, then I'd better try to remember what being soft felt like, because I don't think I'd ever be that way again. I could have taken care of it, but I still needed to find out more information. I needed to know why my memory has a hole in it, and what happened to Danny. What can cause someone's memory to lapse anyhow? I heard before that people with tumors might have memory loss. Maybe I got hit in the head hard and they sent me to the infirmary on the ship, then sent us home while I was unconscious and I just woke up now. No, if I were unconscious, then I'd be in a hospital. How then?
I'd have to figure that out later, because there
was still one more e-mail waiting to be read by me. Since it could have
bore have importance to my mystery, I decided to open it and view it before
I continued on my quest for knowledge. I didn't see a name there in my
e-mail box, except for a bunch of dots, very strange. My intuition kicked
it and I had this sudden feeling that it was from Danny. I got my hopes
up and quickly clicked on the mail. It was loading very slowly, possibly
because of it being a rather large e-mail. I held my breath and clenched
my fists as it opened. I had to be right; Danny and I had this connection
that I've never felt with anyone before in my entire life. I knew it had
to be from Danny, it just had to be. I was so sure about this tiny thing
that I'd happily stake my life on it. My heart started pounding and a smile
cracked open on my teen face when I saw that I was precisely correct in
following my extra senses. I didn't even know Danny had an e-mail address.
I slapped myself while giggling happily, because everyone has e-mail addresses
these days! I quickly tried to straighten myself out as I read the e-mail
I cherished and longed for seeing so much.
Hey Richie! Remember me? That cute, adorable boy
you met on that little cruise ship? Oh, wait, that's me, hehehe. I'm still
going to the police station in Tampa, it's really boring here. I'm staying
in a hotel with guards blocking the door in case `the killer' tries to
get to me just like they did my parents. I mean, even though You Know Who
got his ass busted as soon as the coppers found the blood, knife, and joint,
they still think someone else might have been connected to the crime. I
know I may sound insensitive, but you know how it is. Actually, I am kind
of sad that my parents around with me anymore. I mean, I know they caused
me to lead a terrible life and shit, but they are, were, still my folks.
I mean, I was sad when my asshole grandfather died, just because he was
a member of the family and I knew him really well. But in the long run,
I think my life will be better now. I'm going to be living with my cool
aunt now. With the exception of my brother, she's the only family member
that was ever nice to me. The rest were just like my parents, so hateful
and neglected my needs all the time. My aunt also knows about me, and soon
about us, so that means when you and I are together we can screw around
and stuff like that. Literally! Oh Richie, I love you so much! I can't
wait until they let me go home and we can be together once and for all,
in peace and harmony, till death do us part. It's only four days max until
I go to my new home, so I suppose a little waiting can't hurt, but God,
I can't stop thinking about you. I get aroused whenever you enter my mind.
I've been wanting to, umm, you know, but I haven't done that since we met,
and I'd like to quit doing that because I want all of my pleasure to be
caused by you and only you. I wish I could make out of state phone calls
in this damn hotel room so I could hear your voice again, I miss it. :(
Crap, I have to go now, for more questioning and dumb stuff like that,
write back...please. I love you!
My heart melted and I fell back into my chair, just hard enough to almost, but not quite, tip it over and cause me to fall backwards onto the floor. Did I care if I did? Hell no! I had just read the best e-mail that I've ever read. I was so giddy I couldn't stop smiling or getting those oh so wonderful tingles in my stomach. Danny was ok, and he would be in my arms in less than four days! I just laid there with my listless face strewed about myself, staring through the window, gazing at the brightly colored evening summer sun that shone through. I sighed happily, not caring or wondering about anything else. The most important fact that I wanted to know was told to me.
So what if a couple days were left blank in my memory? That kind of stuff happens all the time to people. People with serious mind deficiencies, but still people. I'd have to reply to Danny's e-mail, but not now, later. I still wanted to bask in my glory and luck. Since Danny wasn't in custody, and I'm home, which meant that no one suspected us of anything. Well, how could they anyhow? We didn't do it, and Zack did it. Simple as that, Zack was the murderer, not us.
I hoped that things would be much easier for Danny and I when he got back. Since he was going to be with his aunt, and she was obviously cool about him being gay, then we wouldn't have to beg for privacy all of the time, like we had to do back on the boat.
My retinas, or irises, or pupils, or whatever, were starting to hurt and I was getting blind spots form looking at the red glare outside, so I decided to end my basking and start other activities. One of those in particular that I had in mind required me to be exposing some flesh and venting some tasty fluids. If I wasn't hard before, reading Danny's e-mail to me and reading how much he loved me got me in the mood now. I wanted more than anything to have Danny relieve me, but I guess I was forced to do it solo this time, just what Danny didn't want to do because he wanted me to do it, not his hand. How sweet is that? Well, I wanted to be sweet to, but not jacking off when you really need to is no laughing matter. Besides, Danny was the cause of my horniness, so it's not like I'm betraying him.
I walked over to my window and closed the shade, and then quietly to my door to make sure it was locked. I knew my parents wouldn't be able to hear me or be suspicious if they did hear me, but it's just a nervous function to be very quiet when locking or closing your door before engaging in naughty activities. As soon as I heard the click of the door, I immediately sprang onto my bed, listening to the squeaks of the springs underneath, then undressed all of the way. I and stretched and displayed myself on my mattress, as if posing for a porno picture with a camera directly above me, hovering like a low light. I could sense my necklace around my neck tightly, almost apart of my body, because that was the only article of clothing I did not take off, nor would I. It seemed to be fused to my chest somehow, being connected to it. It would never leave my body for any deliberate reason, for it was a symbol of my love for Danny.
I looked down to see the tiniest drop of precum forming at the tip of my ebullient and excited cock head. I then closed my eyes and imagined Danny laying on top of me, his entire body connected with mine, his arms wrapped around me and his lips gently gliding across mine, giving me soft and suttle kisses, his glowing green eyes fixated with mine the whole time. My hand wrapped around my stiff cock and stroked it slowly as Danny in my fantasy lowered his head to kiss my chin and neck, keeping our eyes locked together still, then moving lower to suck on my nipples. He winks at me and smiles, then his tongue darts out makes wet circles around both of my nipples. I can feel his medium light brown hair grazing and tickling my chin. I sped up my pace slightly and collected some precum off of my member and licked my finger clean, pretending it was Danny's cum I was eating. That was the first time I had ever eaten my own cum. It was a little bit saltier than Danny's was, his being more sweet than salty. I was imagining Danny's lips around my hard, erect nipples now. I could almost feel his hot breath on my skin as I envisioned him sucking hard on them one at a time, rubbing my back and then lifting my body slightly so his hands could reach my ass cheeks and caress them lovingly. I didn't even notice that I was jacking off at light speed until I felt the sudden, but awesome surge through out my entire body as my orgasm approached and I climaxed, sending hot cum into my hand, crotch, and some parts of my lower stomach. I couldn't have been doing for more than five minutes, I suppose I was hornier than I thought when I lost control. I sighed happily as I caught my breath, lapping up my cum from my fingers. My semen didn't taste all that bad; it was actually fun to lick up and taste. Plus, I didn't have to get tissues and clean up.
After I laid there for some minutes, just day dreaming about my boyfriend and how great it will be when we are reunited, I got back dressed and went decided to go downstairs. I knew that Danny was real, that he was ok, and that he was in Florida for a few extra days. I also knew that our plan seemed to work for some reason, as inane as it was originally. The last things that I wanted to know were how it went with the meeting with my parents, as in, were they really ok with the idea of Danny and I being together and me being gay, and why I have a lapse in my memory.
I opened my door and started down the hall, towards the stairs. I just couldn't figure out why this had happened to me. I didn't feel any pain whatsoever in my body, so obviously I wasn't hit in the head, and I'm also too young to have a tumor or cancer. In fact, I was perfectly healthy according to doctors; never was really sick a lot. The only illness I ever really had in my entire life was epilepsy, but all I really to do was take some pills for it so whatever epileptic people get when not medicated wouldn't happen to me. That reminded me, I think I forgot to bring my pills to the cruise, which meant that I hadn't had any in about two weeks. I stopped in my tracks at the top of the stairs. Wait a second, wait one damn second! I forgot to take my pills, what happens if I don't take my pills?
I ran back into the hall and into the bathroom. My pills were right there on my sink. I picked them up and read the label. It said, "Take to prevent epileptic symptoms, which include: hallucinations, memory loss, sudden fainting." This was it! All these months now I had these pills, and not once did I read the label, just like the idiot I am. I must have fainted on my bed or something, then got memory loss. I smacked my head. I am so stupid! Why didn't I remember this before? Well, that explained that.
To prevent from feeling any more ashamed of myself for that, I took my meds like I should have and went back downstairs to figure out the last piece of the puzzle. This would be it, the last bit in information that I needed to know. After that, there was nothing else. After that, I could breathe easily again. There would be no more mysteries to solve, no more plans or ideas to be thought up in light of certain situations. I'd be left with just simplicity, nothing more, nothing less; exactly what I craved now in life.
I found my mom in the kitchen sipping some coffee, my father apparently out somewhere. As I entered the kitchen, she took notice of me and stopped what she was doing to greet me with a smile. I mirrored her smile with mine. Well, it didn't seem like she was mad at me. Was she happy because she understood me, or maybe because I promised not to see Danny anymore? I acted really suave and cool by taking out a glass from the cabinet and pouring myself a glass of Diet Pepsi. I loved Diet Pepsi, no wonder I was gay. I turned around and I saw that my mom was still looking at me. I couldn't see her face in detail all that well, but I think I saw a slight grin on her face. What was on her mind? I strode over to the table and took the initiative so as to clear everything up.
"Hi mom." I said. Hey, that was taking the initiative, wasn't it? I was the first one to speak, so there!
"Richard..." She said, as if trying to get the words out correctly. "You remember what we talked about?" Great, now we talked about something and I couldn't remember it because I was an idiot!
"Yep, sure do!" I lied happily, taking a large gulp of my soda. I couldn't just play dumb, because I'd surely get a butt whooping for forgetting to take my pills. She took in a slight inhale before talking once again. Something weird was going on here, indefinitely.
"I mean, as you know I don't want anything specific of you, but still, your father and I have been talking about this a lot." Her eyes stared straight into mine. "We are prepared to give you a chance if you can be honest with us and give this just one last chance." She took another sip of coffee. I pretended to be thinking really hard for a moment, then answered her.
"Ok mom, one last chance." She smiled at me again. God, I hope she wasn't asking me to clean the basement or do better when school starts or something like that.
"Ok great! Is tomorrow good enough for you? At like noon time?" She asked me. I knew I was digging myself into some sort of ditch, but I still had to go along with her at all times in order to cover all my bases.
"Yeah sure, just remind me at noon ok?"
"Sure thing, I guarantee you won't regret it." Was I being baptized or something? I took another gulp of soda and nodded. I was about to tell her about Danny's e-mail, but that might have contradicted what we had just talked about, whatever that was. When I finished my soda she said I could leave. I got up, put my glass in the sink, and was about to head back up to my room, when she stopped me.
"Can I ask you one last thing?" Geez, can't I ever get a break? If she asks me a tough question I'm going to maul her.
"Sure." I said, faking enthusiasm.
"How late did you stay up to last night?" Ok, maybe I overly dramatize some things.
"Can't remember really. Why?" It wasn't an actually lie that time, clever me.
"Well, just because I saw you asleep in your room a couple hours earlier today. I guess you were really tired, right?" She gave me this suspicious eye.
"Yeah mom, I was really tired today from staying
up so late. I'll never do that again." She was content with that and let
me go. I retired upstairs after the probable climax of my entire day. Hopefully,
my last ploy for today, and for every day, had just been executed. I was
getting much too old for this sort of stuff.
If you think this is a cliffhanger. You..........are...........wrong! If you think this is the last chaper.......wrong again! If you think I am nuts......ok you're right! Cyah in two weeks everybody! As always comments strongly appreciated....
AOL IM: Doom03