Date: Sat, 05 Feb 2005 10:45:39 -0500 From: Damien Seul Subject: Damien's Journal pt 3 Disclaimer: This story will eventually be about the relationship between two gay teenaged boys. In the beginning there will be limited, if any, sexual scenes. These will depict sexual acts between two consenting teenaged males. While the story contains a base in reality, elements have been added for dramatic purposes. The names have been changed but the events are mostly true. If it is illegal to view such material in your area, please leave now. Nifty;'Damien's Journal #3'{Damien Seul}( BB real teen2 slow )[3!?] PREVIOUSLY: Aaron had to be home by 11pm so we drove around for the last 20 minutes or so. When he was finally dropped off, we went straight home. Autumn tried to comfort me before I went to bed but tried unsuccessfully. I was depressed and there was only two ways to cure me of this depression. The first, albeit temporary would be time. The second, and near impossible, would be Aaron's love. Either way, I'll still be depressed for a while. Well, tomorrow's a new day. This means a new chapter of my journal and a new hope that maybe tomorrow would be different. Maybe it will happen tomorrow. Will it? No, probably not. But, a boy can dream, can't he? DAMIEN'S JOURNAL Written by and copyright held by Damien Seul (2005) The next day, New Year's Eve, was pretty uneventful, at least in terms of me and Aaron. We didn't see each other and I went to a party at another friend's house. Stayed the night and then got up the next morning to head in for work. Work was, well, work! But my uneventful day shortly turned eventful as when I came home I found out that Aaron, Kit, Amara, and Autumn were all at my house waiting for me! Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls to you. By the time I got out of the shower, they were all hyped up on energy drinks and two of them were a little inebriated on tequila. As my luck would have it, Aaron was one of 'em. I don't know if it was the tequila, or what, but he actually hugged me back. Usually, a hug between him and I involves my arms wrapped around him while he stands/sits there. We must have stood there for a good minute or so in the embrace. The seconds felt like days and the minute was a lifetime. I never wanted that moment to end. Not wanting to seem too eager, I reluctantly brought the hug to a close. The five of us created a dog pile on Autumn's bed when Amara pretended to collapse on Kit. Kit was on the bottom, followed by Amara and Autumn. Aaron then landed in a space between Autumn and Kit. Finally, I joined them with my legs crossed over Aaron's legs and my torso resting on Kit's hip. We stayed in that dog pile until someone suggested that we go and rent a movie. So, we all got up, crammed into my car and drove to Blockbuster for a movie. Agreeing on Resident Evil: Apocalypse, we returned to my house. We retired to the living room for the duration of the movie. Autumn, Kit, and I sat on the loveseat, Aaron sat on the back of the arm of the loveseat next to me, and Amara sat on the floor in front of Autumn. Occasionally I would lay my head on Aaron's thigh for a second or two; just enough to remind him that I was there and subtly flirt with him. He doesn't take subtleties too well. You practically have to spell things out before he gets things... well, sometimes. About halfway through the movie, Aaron got up and moved to the floor, complaining that the way he was sitting was hurting his back. We tried to convince him to come back and just lay over us instead of going to the floor but he had settled down there so there wasn't any getting him to move. The movie wasn't anything terribly special and afterwards we drove to Wal- mart, oh the joys of a small town. The most exciting place after 8pm is Wal- mart. While two of the ladies went in, Amara, Aaron, and I stayed out in the car. Waiting for them to return, Aaron wanted us to hear a song by Dashboard Confessional, "Saints and Sailors." It was all I could do not to start crying right there. "And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor and your eyes say the joke's on me." Autumn and Kit came back, I pulled myself together and drove away. We made a pit stop at 7-11 for energy drinks before returning to my house again. Nothing big happened after the movie. We just kinda hung out for a while before I took Amara and Kit home. Aaron lives a block away from me so he just walked home. I woke up the next morning with a mind-splitting headache. If I had gotten drunk last night then I would have said that it was a hangover, unless you can get drunk from caffeine. All I know is that it was so bad that I had to call in sick to work. I spent this last day of winter break talking to fans of the story, playing games, and listening to my usual depressing mix plus a new band, Muse (Thanks Mikey!) Our first day back in the New Year was trying, to put it mildly. I didn't go to bed until about 1am. When I did, I laid in bed for about 15 minutes and just as I was about to fall asleep, I had this sudden urge, no need, to be with Aaron. It was so bad that it woke me from my almost sleep and I almost started crying. Knowing that there was no possible way at, what was now, 1:30am to see him, I did the next best thing: grabbed a pillow and snuggled close. I still tossed and turned with the pillow but eventually found a comfortable spot and fell asleep. I dreamt that it was New Year's Eve and Aaron had spent the night. It was just he and I spooning in my bed. I softly stroked his hair as we cuddled. No words were said. Just the feeling that we were meant to be together told me of the reality of the situation. The dream seemed so real that I was a little disappointed to awake with just the pillow in my arms. Unfortunetly for me, the 2 weeks flew by and it was now half-way through January. It was a usual Friday, we had play rehearsal. Towards the end, I thought that I'd give this sleepover thing one more try. I asked him and he seemed very eager to come over! We both had really busy afternoons planned but agreed on about 8:30pm for me to go and get him, if his mom agreed. Eight o'clock rolled around and he still hadn't called me. I figured that it must have slipped his mind so I called him. I was right. My premonition was also right, now he didn't want to. Claiming to not feel well. If you wonderful readers remember at the end of the last chapter, I talked about how depressed I was. I don't know if you have ever been depressed or been very closed to someone who was. They can take bad news REALLY HARD. Just like I did in this situation. First, I became extremely angry with him. When I get angry, especially when it involved Aaron, Autumn would call him and talk to him to see what was up. She did just that, they talked for a while, he gave her the same excuse that he gave me. She tried to guilt him into it by reminding him of all of the times he had told us that he wanted to stay the night and backing out at the last minute. It started working a little, but he still claimed to be not feeling well. By this time we had gotten back home. I went straight up to my room, completely pissed off. Figuring that I should take some time to cool off, I put on some music and just layed there in the dark. I couldn't have made a worse mistake. TBC Preview of next chapter: My music of choice just happened to be all of my usual depressing songs. This caused me to spiral down into such a hole of sadness that I started crying. I went to Autumn's door, not knowing that she wasn't in there and gave her bedroom door this big long speech. I then ran downstairs and saw that she was in the kitchen. Feeling like a complete dumbass, I gave the condensed version of the same speech. This consisted of how worthless I must really be and that I would be going for a drive somewhere and probably not coming back in one piece. I then ran for our back door. Author's Note: Sorry for the big delay everyone. I finally got my new power supply yesterday and got to finish this chapter. I've got about a month of journaling to catch up on so expect time to really fly in the next few chapters. As always, comments are always appreciated at damien_seul@hotmail.com. I just wanted to send out a personal thanks to Mikey, Ryan, Ryan, and all of my other numorous friends for listening to me complain all of the time about my sucky love life! Hehehe.