To be perfectly honest, I had not planned on posting any more of this series for at least four or five days. But today as I drove home from work, I got to thinking, and I realized that there are some things I wanted to say. Those of you who have read my "Kenny" series, are accustomed to these little "Messages" from the author. This is admittedly a bit of a "rant," so if you don't want to read them, do a search on "VII" which will take you to the title of this chapter.

Today is my 62nd birthday. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning when I got out of bed. What I saw was an old man. I should not find that depressing, but I do. The truth is, life has been a bitch! But it has also been so sweet, so wonderful, that I hate to see it pass; and believe me, the older we get, the more quickly it passes.

I have only today finished reading another story on the Nifty archives: "Outted in High School." I was totally moved! It reminded me of my own story, only this one had a totally different completion. I wrote to the young man who wrote it this morning; I hope he writes back. We have so much in common, but on the other hand so many differences. He reconciled with his father, I never did. He had his mother's support, I didn't. He lost his first love after a very short time; I lost mine 44 years after our first embrace. He went totally public in high school; I never did. He seems happy and comfortable with what he is, what he has become. I never was. I am proud of what I have done in life, and I am beyond proud of my three children, my three grandchildren. But if I had faced things the way they are, if I had acknowledged what I am when I first realized it, at about age 8, there would never have been children or grandchildren.

Age 8! I must tell you about my eighth birthday. My dad was a cop. I absolutely worshiped him! My mom was still in good health then, as far as we knew. Things were so different then! My dad used to make extra money by transporting convicted felons to the federal penitentiary, fifty miles from our home. On my eighth birthday (or what it the ninth? I don't really know) my dad promised me a special outing. Well, here was the outing:

My mom and dad and I piled into the car. My sister had gone to the family farm for the summer. We drove downtown to the jailhouse/police station. There we picked up my father's prisoner... I have no idea what crimes he was convicted of, but he was placed in the back seat of our family car, in handcuffs and legirons, and we were off. My mom and dad and I were all in the front. If I remember correctly the car was a 1940 Studebaker. I was so fucking terrified I could hardly move!

Two hours or so later we arrived at Dorchester Penitentiary (in eastern Canada) where my father dropped his prisoner, and we were free for the rest of the day. I got moved to the back seat. I remember sitting there, thinking that only minutes before, some criminal had been sitting in this very seat!

We drove a few miles to where the strawberries were in season, and we spent the afternoon picking strawberries. We had tons of them! Then at 3 or 4 in the afternoon we had a picnic lunch. My mother had made biscuits and so we had strawberry shortcake, minus the whipped cream. There was no dream whip back then. And that was my "special birthday." Big whoop!

It's funny the things we remember as we get older. A very good friend of mine told me not long ago, I think he was quoting someone, something to the effect that we cannot get on with our lives until we forgive our father. Well, sorry folks, I never did. Even my friend (I hope) who wrote "Outted in high school," whose father did the unthinkable, stated that he and his father had more or less come to terms. My father and I never did. I think there are two parts to forgiveness: the one seeking forgiveness needs to acknowledge that he WANTS to be forgiven! When that happens, the offended party is, I believe, obligated to forgive. But what about when the 'offender' never acknowledges that he cares? Notice that I have very carefully avoided saying any party was "WRONG!" There is no right or wrong here, only people and feelings and love and getting through life the best way we know how.

In one of the future chapters of the Dan story, Charlie's father is going to die. My description of that scene is one of the most fictitious pieces of fiction I have ever written! In it I have described that Charlie and his father came to some sort of unspoken understanding. Well, in reality that didn't happen. If you've read Kenny you know what really happened. Since then his second wife has died, and the final outcome was about what I expected. My father's entire estate, with the exception of a token amount to ward off lawsuits, went to his second wife's daughter, a woman in her late 60's who has been on welfare since she was 17 years old! The woman who, married with a small child, tried to fuck me when I was 14!

I personally didn't care about the inheritance. It wasn't a fortune, but it wasn't a pittance either. But my sister could have really used some of that money. She is three years older than I am, living north of Toronto. She has a daughter in her mid forties, who has Multiple Sclerosis, that same disease that killed our mother when I was 14. Yes, Debbie inherited it from her grandmother, and make no mistake, I walk on pins and needles every day, wondering if my two daughters will get it. But the point is, my father beat the crap out of my sister and refused her permission to marry the man she loved. She did it anyway. He beat the crap out of me from the time I was 5 until I finally stood up to him shortly after my mom died. He rejected me, my sister, and took up with a woman whose whore daughter now has his entire estate. Forgive him? I don't think so! He never thought he needed it!

OK, I'm sorry folks, but sometimes we just have to dump, ya know? Thanks for listening/reading... sorry this chapter isn't exactly cheery either, but I promise things will get better.

This story is fiction. It depicts, sometimes explicitly, sex between teenage boys, between boys and men, and between boys and females, both teenage and adult. If you find such things offensive, or reading such things is illegal where you live, please read no further.

VII Christmas in Daytona

"Hi, Mom," Dan said nervously into the phone, "How are ya?"

"Danny?" came the tearful voice back, "is it really you? Where are you? Are you all right? Are you coming home..."

"I'm fine, Mom. I just wanted to let you know I'm okay, and to wish you a merry Christmas."

"Danny, why can't you come home? Where are you, anyway?"

"I can't tell you, Mom, not just yet anyway. But we're doin' fine."

"Is Charlie with you?" came the voice of Dan's father who had picked up the extension.

"Hi, Dad. Yes, he's here. He says to say hello."

"He does, does he? After what he's done, I should think he might have more than that to say."

"Dad, it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. We couldn't help it, Dad, it just happened. And you always taught me that where there's love, it can't be all bad."

"You're confused, son. That's not love. That's... it's..."

"All right," Mrs. Edwards interrupted, "This isn't the time. Danny, we have your gifts under the tree just like always. We were hoping... well, if you can come home, well, we won't say any more about the other..."

"I can't, Mom. Soon, I hope, 'cause I miss y'all terribly. But not yet. I mailed presents last week, but I doubt if they'll get there in time."

"Danny," Mrs. Edwards pleaded, "Please tell us where you are. What are you doing? How are you living?"

"We're just fine, Mom. We're working right now, but we're hoping to go back to school soon. But in the meantime please don't worry, cause we're doing fine, and we're happy, Mom. I hate what I did to you and Dad, but it's gonna work out for the best, I promise. I gotta go. Mom, Dad... I love you both. I'll write and tell you all about it. Have a good Christmas. Bye..." He slowly replaced the receiver with tears in his eyes.

"They said they've got my gifts under the tree, just like always," Dan said through his tears. "I just wish I could see them and talk to them. Maybe I could make it all right."

"C'mon, Danny," Charlie comforted, "You know as well as I do that with their upbringing, there's no way you can convince them it's all right. Shit, if it had happened to someone else and not me, I don't think I'd have understood. And it's all my fault, right?"

"I guess you heard that part."

"I heard enough. But it proves they still love you. They refuse to believe you could do anything as evil as that."

Charlie had called his dad, who had immediately started yelling, so Charlie had wished him a merry Christmas and hung up. Now he found himself feeling guilty for taking Dan away from loving parents. And the fact he'd always got along so well with Dan's parents, that they'd always been so good to him, always welcomed him into their home, didn't help the guilt much.

"Look, guys," said Jerry, "we knew this was going to be a rough time to get through, so let's just take a couple days off and go down to Miami and see the sights. After the holiday (Charlie had noticed that Jerry never said the word 'Christmas'), you can both write your folks a letter. We can mail them to my Chicago contact, and he'll send them on for us, same as we did with the parcels and the postcards, okay?" Jerry was feeling the intensity of the moment like never before. He and Charlie both envied Dan and the loving relationship he had obviously had with his parents. Dan really cared about his parents, as they did for him, and the feelings were really showing now. After a few tears, Dan started feeling a little better. They didn't go to Miami, deciding instead to just play around home.

That afternoon they went to the beach in their new Mustang. The beach, of course, was deserted. But they didn't mind. Soon they were playing and cavorting, forgetting for the moment the season and their homesickness. It was easy to forget that it was December 24 when the temperature was eighty-two degrees. They swam a little, or at least Dan and Charlie did. They gave Jerry his first swimming lesson and he didn't do bad either, considering he'd hardly ever been in anything but a bathdub before. They threw a frisbee for a while, and just lay in the sun. Jerry was the happiest he'd been for years. For the first time since he could remember he had a family, and this time of year, usually desolate and lonely for him, promised to be full of life and love, just like it was supposed to be.

When the sun started sinking in the west the three headed home, tired and happy. The streets were packed with people doing last minute shopping, hurrying to get home to begin whatever festivities they had planned. The trio decided, since they'd had such a hectic time these last few weeks, that they'd just spend a quiet evening at home enjoying each other's company. Charlie pulled the Mustang over in front of a liquor store and Jerry, who knew the owner, went in to get some Christmas cheer. Then they carried on home. As he always did when he walked in the door, Jerry went over to the phone machine to check for messages.

"Jerry, there's a party over at the club tonight. Very quiet, but should be interesting. Hope you can come. Besides, it's time you started sharing those sweet little fruits I hear you have stashed. No fair, buddy, keeping them all to yourself."

The 'Club', Jerry had told them, was a private club; owned, operated and patronized by gays, who usually went there to meet someone or just be with others of their own kind. The two newcomers still didn't feel comfortable about appearing in a place like that, though they supposed they would sooner or later.

"Wanna have some fun?" Jerry said, his eyes glistening. Dan and Charlie looked at each other doubtfully. "It's okay," he reassured them, "I won't let them bother you, but I bet we can sure drive them crazy. There's an initiation thing we do, sort of a 'coming out' party, where you get to tell the world your secret in a way that everyone has a little fun."

Without waiting for an answer Jerry led the boys up to his room and started rummaging in his closet. First came the underwear. For Charlie, cotton bikinis that were really little more than what we now call a thong, designed to make the bulge appear even bigger than it really is. For Dan, pink bikinis made of silk, with just a hint of lace around the edges.

Next Jerry produced the pants. For Charlie, his loose white cotton pants that seemed to drive everybody, male and female, crazy. For Dan, very tight faded blue jeans. So tight, in fact, that it was humanly impossible to hide his ample bulge.

The shirts: For Charlie, a white loose fitting broadcloth pullover similar to what you might see in an operating room, except cut very low in the neck, revealing his almost hairless chest. For Dan, a white T-shirt, with 'I'm ready for anything' written across the back and front. And to top it all, each of them had a black leather vest, open at the front.

Of course, no socks and their new white sneakers, and jewelry: Two gold chains each on their necks, and a gold bracelet chain, and the finishing touch: Jerry dug out a set of large dangly gold earrings, about two inches long, and put one on each of their ears. Their right ear! This was announcing to anyone who cared, "Hey, look at me. I'm gay!" Both boys started to get aroused at the thought of their public announcement, but then Charlie remembered, neither of them had ever had their ears pierced. "No problem," Jerry was excited now, "I can take care of that in just a few minutes." And take care of it he did. A little bit of alcohol, a slight pricking sensation, and he skillfully produced the required holes in the boys' ears. After he had got the two under way getting dressed, Jerry got dressed himself. When they all met downstairs, they whistled at each other. Each was impressed by the other two.

By the time they arrived at the club the party was well under way. Probably lots of young queers just like us who have no family except each other, Charlie thought. There was not a girl in sight, but there was the odd guy "in drag", as Jerry told them transvestites were called. When the three walked into the darkness and the ultra violet light caught the white in their clothes, the whistles and cat-calls started. Charlie and Dan were both thinking that only a month ago if this had happened, they would have died. But now, it felt good to be appreciated. They marched in, the three of them arm in arm, and sat down at an empty table.

"Hey, Jerry, sort of robbing the cradle, aren't you?"

"Jerry, if you need any help putting them babes to bed, just call." And so it went. Then the music stopped and a young man took the microphone.

"We seem to have some new additions to our little group. Jerry, why don't you introduce your friends?" and Jerry got up on the stage. He had witnessed this procedure many times, but now he was participating, and with two of the most desirable subjects anyone could ask for. Jerry knew, though, that as envious as everyone was, they only knew part of the story. He knew that he had stumbled on much more than physical gratification; that no words he could find would describe the feeling of contentment these two young additions to his business had given him. He wanted to tell the world,, but he had to be satisfied knowing that what they had could not be bought, couldn't be explained.

"It gives me great pleasure," he began, "To introduce Danny and Charlie McKnight. They're from Oregon and having a ball in Florida."

A fanfare, and a spotlight appeared on two very self conscious boys! "C'mon up here guys, and give the fellows a little dance!"

Charlie was stunned! Danny looked at him, and they both looked for a hole to crawl into. They slowly got up and started walking the five hundred miles to the stage, all the time with the spotlight on them. As they reached the stage the cheering and clapping started. The spot went out, leaving the two initiates glowing in the uv light. "Give them a strip," Jerry ordered, "but don't take the undies off."

"A what!" the stricken pair chorused.

"You heard me. Just sorta dance around, try to look sexy."

Dan looked at Charlie, and he at Dan, and they shrugged. "Might as well enjoy it," Dan said as he started to dance. At first they looked like two junior high's on their first date, awkward and embarrassed. But the entire crowd of about 200 were clapping in time to the music and yelling "Strip! Strip! Strip!", so they started to get into it. It had never occurred to them before that gay guys danced together, but soon another barrier came crashing down.

They were jiving; they were jumping; they were bumping; they were grinding. Every so often they would come close and embrace, or kiss, or just make suggestive movements. As they danced around the floor, the vests came off and were tossed into the air. A cheer from the audience. They came together, and when they separated, Dan had the tail of Charlie's shirt in his hand, which he peeled off like a banana. Another cheer. Dan's shirt was off. Another cheer. Charlie had his pants open at the waist. As Dan came close to him, Charlie grabbed the button of his pants and flipped it open. They both kicked off their sneakers which were conveniently not tied. Now they were really enjoying the cheers and noise, their inhibitions all but gone. They were facing the audience, their pants halfway to their knees, pulsating their hips, their exotic underwear peeking from behind the opening in the fly. Finally they kicked out of them and cavorted around the stage. A thunderous roar from the crowd. Just when they were starting to wonder what to do next, the spot was on them again.

As another fanfare came from the loudspeakers, Dan and Charlie, as a unit, stood facing the crowd, their feet apart, their arms in the air in the victory sign, and smiled their best smile. Another thunderous roar, and it was over! They felt like kings! Who would have thought two months ago they would be the stars of a strip show in a gay club in Florida! They had made their public declaration to all who were interested, and it felt really good being open and free.

Later, after the dancers were dressed again, there was a long parade of people asking them to dance and buying them drinks. Since it was a private club, there was little danger of being caught for drinking under age. Neither Charlie nor Dan were particularly good dancers, but they danced almost every dance anyway, almost always with a different partner. It felt odd at first, dancing with strange boys and men, but they were committed to play the part to the limit. Soon they were enjoying the attention, and even the dancing itself. They had no small number of propositions, but Jerry was always there to remind their suitors that the pair were committed to each other, and that they were available through "the service".

Dan found himself dancing with a man he judged to be about thirty who called himself simply Brian. He was a very smooth dancer, and very appreciative of Dan. "So," he said, "You two are from Oregon. How'd you get 'way down here?" Dan by this time had had more than a few drinks and was soon telling Brian everything.

"We're really not from Oregon," he babbled, "We're from Nova Scotia. But our id says Oregon, so that's what we always say publicly."

"I suppose next you're going to tell me you and Charlie aren't brothers either."

"That's right, we're lovers."

"And you're under age, and that's why the masquerade?" Now Dan realized he'd said too much, but Brian quickly reassured him. "Hey, don't worry about me," he said, "I'm married. You think I'm going to tell the world I met an underage faggot at a gay club? I'm only sorry you're spoken for, otherwise I had plans for you tonight."

For reasons he couldn't explain Dan wanted to spend some time with his new friend. "Let me go talk to Charlie a minute," he said, "Maybe we can work something out." Brian willingly gave up the rest of the dance, telling Dan he'd wait by the door. Dan went over to the table where Charlie was talking to about five guys.

"See that guy I was dancing with?" Dan said nervously.

"I saw him," Charlie answered. "He wants you to go with him, doesn't he?"

"Yes he does, but I told him no dice unless you said okay."

"You want to go?"

"Sorta. I don't know why, maybe it's the booze, but I do."

"Okay," Charlie said to the astonished Dan, "But don't be too long." Dan thanked him and hurried toward the door as Charlie called "I love you" where a surprised Brian had already presumed he was out of luck.

"You mean he said okay?"

"Yep, but we don't have a lot of time."

Brian immediately took the cue and hurried Dan outside to his car. "I have to catch a plane in three hours," he said, but I have a room not far, if that's okay." Dan still had no idea why he was so excited at this latest prospect, but he was. Perhaps it was the thought of being propositioned, of being desired, or perhaps it was indeed the liquor, but this was something Dan really wanted to do. Brian wasn't terribly good looking, but still Dan was strangely attracted to him. In what must have been record time the car was parked and Brian and Dan were alone in a hotel room.

Dan learned that Brian was from Atlanta, was married with two small children, and almost never went out. He'd been in town on business and had missed his plane, so he'd decided to 'go out' while he waited for the next one. He'd seen the threesome arrive and had been very attracted to Dan, he said. Of course hearing that he'd been so desired set Dan off. He threw his arms around his admirer and made further conversation impossible with his kisses, and soon they were making passionate love. Brian was indeed very inexperienced, and Dan found it oddly stimulating to be with someone twice his age but with less experience. Each got more than he bargained for during the next hour and a half. Brian began to comment on Dan's beauty and Dan responded in his usual way with an explosion of passion. All too soon it was time to leave, and each thanked the other for a fabulous time.

When he arrived back at the club, Dan began to feel guilty for having left Charlie like that. He snatched Charlie away from the group he'd been talking to and led him to the dance floor. "I'm sorry, Charlie," he said, "that was a terrible thing to do. I don't know what came over me."

"No problem," Charlie answered, "If you hadn't gone with him, I would have. But it was you he wanted. Just don't make a habit of it." Neither understood what had happened, but both knew it was a one time affair, and both knew that Dan had probably done Brian a real favor. But now it was time to rejoin the party.

When at last they piled in the Lincoln to go home, Dan and Charlie were very drunk. They laughed and giggled like two school girls, toying with each other's ear rings, poking each other playfully in the crotch, and being silly. When they got home, Jerry got some coffee into them and lovingly put them to bed - in his bed. "You two were fabulous," he said with admiration as he crawled in with them, "But ya sure can't hold much liquor."

As the bed was spinning round and round, Charlie was wondering if it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time. He decided that it was and that Jerry, Danny and he had managed somehow to form a perfect triangle, but a harmonious one. And so the three of them snuggled together as one, totally happy together. For almost the first time there was no sex that night - not so much as a little fondling - but there was overwhelming love, and right then, that was enough.

Christmas Day the three slept late. Dan and Charlie had pretty good headaches so when they did get up, they were not in a terribly good mood. Jerry busied himself getting them some breakfast and nursing them and soon, headaches or not, they had to feel better in spite of themselves. Jerry's tender mothering and care was so full of love that they couldn't help but respond favorably to it. They had not bothered with a tree, but there were plenty of gifts for each other. Nothing elaborate - colognes, shirts, jewelry - all trinkets that each had thought the recipient might like. And all of them were liked and appreciated.

Dan was still concerned about his encounter with Brian. It hadn't been business he knew, nor had it been love or even physical desire, but just something he had felt compelled to do. "What happened, Jerry?" he asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea," was the answer, "except maybe that you're one horny little fag and just got carried away with Brian's advances."

"I think I know," Charlie offered. "I think Jerry's right. You just got all caught up in the excitement of the initiation and all the attention you were getting. That phone call to your folks had to be tough on you. In all your emotions musta been in overload most of the day. And we already know how you lose control when you think you're being appreciated."

"Charlie," Dan said, "I don't know what to say to you. How can you just pass it off like that?"

"What's the big deal?" Charlie said. "You start talking about wanting Brian again and I'll get concerned, but last night you were drunk and we were all pretty high on emotion. Just don't make a habit of it, and let's just forget it happened at all, okay?" Dan agreed readily after having reassured Charlie that it was indeed a one time thing, then he promised himself that he'd never again do such a thing even if it meant staying sober.

Around noon the phone rang. "Some poor lonely guy wants some company," Jerry commented as he went to answer. But it wasn't a client. Instead it was one of those rare phone calls that were not business. They had all been invited for Christmas dinner, and they should go right away so they could spend the day. Jerry accepted without even consulting the others which annoyed both Dan and Charlie. "Have I ever let you down?" he demanded, and they had to admit he hadn't. "Trust me on this one. These folks are absolutely straight... married with two kids, your typical suburban family, except for one thing: they're totally liberated. They've told me that they find the idea of gay sex absolutely repulsive, but then they also find eating liver repulsive, and they don't hate people who eat liver. It's the way the world should be. They will probably ask if you have a girl friend or boy friend... be honest with them. They'll accept it, but they won't try to quiz you on 'what it's like', or try to change you. It's one of the few times when we can talk freely and be accepted totally."

And so with some reluctance Dan and Charlie joined Jerry getting dressed. They weren't sure how to dress, so they chose dressy casual... pressed slacks, shoes, pressed shirts. They took out their earrings...they thought this was not the time to be making a 'statement'.

As they drove across town to the Jenkins home, Jerry told them that John and Linda knew about the escort service, but exactly what that meant had never been discussed. Once again, they had accepted the thing at face value, their attitude being that sex was a completely personal thing, if any sex were involved. They were welcomed warmly by John and Linda and their two little boys, Johnny, six, and Mark, five. They all sat in the den around the Christmas tree with a glass of wine, getting to know each other, while Johnny and Mark played with their Christmas loot, of which there was plenty.

"So you boys are brothers?" John inquired. Dan started to answer in the affirmative but Jerry interjected. "Not exactly. You see, they're lovers, and minors, so it seemed appropriate for them to have new names, and a more socially acceptable reason for them to be together." No reaction, except one of genuine interest. Linda asked Charlie directly, looking him right in the eye, "You boys been going together long?"

"Not as lovers," he answered. It was thrilling for him to talk about their relationship in a completely natural way. "We've been good friends for several years, but about two months ago we discovered we were in love. I guess we didn't discover it sooner because we didn't realize there was such a thing as gay love. We thought that gay relationships were sex, and nothing but." No reaction, just understanding.

Just then Johnny crawled up on Charlie's knee. "You got a girl friend?" he inquired. Now what do I do, Charlie thought, but he was really into this honesty business, and he sorta wanted to test the Jenkins' to the limit.

"No, I have a boyfriend, in fact I have two," he answered, shooting a quick glance at John and Linda. No reaction.

"Who are they?"

"Sitting right there." He nodded to Jerry and Dan.

"You love them both?"

"That's right. I love them very much."

"They love you, too?"

"Well, you'll have to ask them, but I think so." Still no reaction. They were all getting a kick out of this totally innocent third degree.

"Do they love each other?"

"Sure do."

"Neat! everybody loves everybody else, just like here!"

"That's right, Johnny. Feels good to be loved, eh?" The Canadian accent slipped out. Charlie's guard was completely down now, and that felt to Charlie like a tonic.

"Know what?" Johnny whispered loudly as if about to reveal some great secret truth.

"No, what?" They all smiled.

"I love you too." And little arms wrapped around Charlie's neck in a six year old bear hug. Instantly Charlie's sex instrument was rock hard, not from sexual desire, but just from overwhelming emotion. His eyes started to tear as he held this trusting little boy.

"I love you too," he said in a broken voice. John and Linda gave him the most loving, sympathetic look he had received since his mother died four years ago.

They talked a while longer, played with the boys, and had dinner. Soon it was time for the boys to go to bed. After they were ready to be put down for the night, they wanted Dan to read a story. Here it comes, Charlie thought, No way will they let Dan stay with them alone. But the project was encouraged. In fact, Dan put them to bed and stayed with them over half an hour, while the rest of the group sat downstairs.

"They're beautiful children," Dan commented when he finished his chore.

"We think so," Linda agreed with unashamed pride in her sons, "And they sure have taken to you."

"Dan has that effect on people," Jerry offered.

"You boys Canadian?" Linda asked with interest. She had picked up Charlie's characteristic Canadian "eh?". The two runaways turned scarlet.

"Yes, we're from Nova Scotia," Dan blurted out.

"I thought so," she continued, "It's pretty hard to hide being a Canadian in Florida. This time of year half the population of Florida is Canadian." The two had never thought of that, but of course it was true.

"So I take it your families are not too thrilled about you being lovers?"

"You might say that," Dan answered, the hurt and bitterness in his voice.

"We'd like to help, if you'll let us," John put in with genuine concern. "We usually don't like to interfere, but you boys obviously have so much love to give I hate to see you suffer needlessly, and I hate to see families broken up."

"How can you help?" Charlie asked doubtfully. And so a plan was devised. John and Linda would write a letter. It would be mailed through a network of friends across the country, eventually arriving at the parents of the two boys. The response, if any, would go the same way back to the Jenkins. When the three left late that night, they had developed a strong bond with these loving people. They would call when the letter was ready.

"What's this about you having two boy friends?" Jerry said to Charlie over a nightcap of Coke, after they got home. Charlie's face reddened. "It just sorta came out, Jerry," he stammered, "But that's the way I feel."

"Me too, Jer," interrupted Dan, "I get a hard on just thinking of either of you, but it's more than sex. I love you both more than life itself."

Now it was Jerry's turn to tear up. "I don't know what to say," he said in a broken voice, "I've been getting so envious of you two and your love. I felt like an outsider looking in."

"No need to, handsome," Charlie used the term purposely, "If we're all agreed, we each have two boyfriends." And they did all agree. So Dan and Charlie moved into Jerry's room, and all slept together in his queen sized bed. That night during their regular lovemaking, they took extra care that whatever they did included all three, to the limits of their physical makeup. It was a bit awkward, but eventually they got the hang of it, and that became a regular event that they all looked forward to, each night changing who did what to whom. It seemed no matter how sexually exhausting their evening had been, there was always a strong desire once they were together again.

This Christmas, that all three had dreaded so much, turned out unquestionably to be the best one ever. Jerry at last had a family, and all three had the ones they loved close to them, and had made some good friends too.

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