The usual disclaimers apply to this story.

The story below has been adapted from one by Terry Audet which is published in the Nifty Archives in the High School section as Dark Side of the Moon.

I was so taken by the initial chapters of the story that I wrote to the author asking his permission to use the plot and characters to write my own version of his story

He very kindly consented to my request, to which I'm very grateful; I have also changed the title of the story.

Below is my version of the events that took place in the life of Robert (Robbie) Anderson

A Darker Shade of Grey

Part 1

I'm the youngest of a family of four boys and a girl. My eldest siblings are twins James Anderson junior named after my father and his twin Karen they are seventeen. Then there is Connor sixteen followed by Chase fifteen. I had just turned thirteen a month ago, and was not only the youngest but the runt of the litter. All my brothers are the big jock types their stature being inherited from our father James Anderson senior. Chase who is just fifteen is already over 6ft and weighs 180lbs and he isn't as big as the other two.

My name is Robert but everyone calls me Robbie. I am the exception to the rule, and looking at my brothers I often wondered if I had been adopted as there is such a marked contrast in our appearances. At thirteen I'm 5ft exactly in height and weigh just 102lbs. where my siblings have dark hair and brown eyes I am blonde but the thing that really confuses people are my eyes they're nearly black in colour which with my blond hair makes for a pretty startling appearance and many times I've been asked if I dye my hair.

My parents are both very successful in their particular professions so they were able to buy a house that met all the requirements for a family this size.

We have a two storey five bedroom house, on the ground floor there is a very large kitchen with a breakfast bar, adjoining this is the dining room that is even larger and is used for the family evening meal, every one is expected to be there for the meal unless they have a very good excuse not to be. The sitting room is 40ft long and 20ft wide, and at the far end there are glass panels the whole width of the room with one side able to slide open leading into the conservatory which is totally made of glass except for the roof. Adjacent to the glass sliding doors is another glass door in the conservatory that opens out to 150ft garden. Attached to the kitchen is a large garage with a door from the kitchen leading directly into the garage.

The moment we entered the school grounds my brothers and sister scattered leaving me to make my solitary way to my class.

It was my first day attending senior school and my stomach was churning with the nervous tension building up inside of me.

I entered the main building and somehow seemed to get lost. Getting more nervous by the minute my bladder reacted to the tension and now I needed to relieve myself. Suddenly a senior boy appeared at the end of the corridor as he neared I asked him, "Er excuse me is there a toilet nearby."

"You're headed in the wrong direction this is the way to the side entrance to the school, go back the way you came and just before the main entrance on the right, um hang on, just there that door at the end of the corridor is a toilet, it's really meant for emergency use and I guess this is an emergency," he said smiling.

I thanked him and headed for the loo dashed in unzipped and let go, what a relief. I finished and when I turned that's when I saw them.

I looked at the five boys and my heart sank as I instinctively knew by the look on the faces of a couple of them they intended to make life difficult for me. I looked across at Jeff Givens but he turned his head away...

The nearest boy to me who was also the tallest unzipped his trousers and exposed himself saying, "Its big isn't it."

I wasn't sure how to reply so kept quiet. "Hey are you deaf, I said it's big, what d'you have to say?"

"Umm yeah if you say so."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No I'm not," I was getting more than a bit scared "Honest I'm not and yes it is, it's a lot bigger than mine."

"Yeah well get down and suck it, get it nice and wet then it will go up your arse easier."

I backed away, "No way I'm not doing that," and I tried to make a break for it. I was immediately stopped by a fist that landed on the side of my face that made my knees buckle. I staggered upright and tried to kick but another blow to my right eye sent me crashing into the wash basins that knocked all the fight out of me and blacked me out temporarily.

The next thing I knew was feeling the pain as one of the boys was abusing me from behind I tried to scream but there was a hand over my mouth.

"Do you like my cock up your arse eh do you?" I could hear the boy saying. I was in excruciating pain tears flowed down my cheeks as I was made to bend over the wash basins by a boy on either side of me holding me down and another holding my legs.

"Oh shit," the boy yelled, "I'm coming oh fuck here it comes." And I could feel the boy discharging inside me.

"Come on hurry up," another voice proclaimed I'm busting to stick my cock up his tight little hole."

The moment I felt the boy withdraw within seconds the other boy who was impatient to mount me rammed his penis into my rectum. I could only make a muffled scream as the boys holding me still had his hand over my mouth. The pain now was more intense as this boy was much larger in girth he was literally splitting me in two as he pounded his penis into my pain wracked body. But just when I thought things couldn't get worse my head was twisted sideways and my mouth was forced open by a hand squeezing on my jaw and then a cock forced down my throat. I gagged and the cock was withdrawn slightly but then fed into my mouth again as a hand held my head securely by a fistful of hair.

"Take it easy," I heard one of the boys say, "you're hurting him for Gods sakes."

"Shut it, he fucking likes it, he's not complaining is he?" and he laughed at his own witticism, "Now hold him or I'll make you take his place." A few minutes later which seemed like an eternity they both achieved their orgasms and withdrew their cocks, they asked if either of the other two wanted to take a turn. They declined the offer and they left me with my trousers and underwear around my ankles leaning over the wash basins.

I stood up looking at the image that stared back at me from the washroom mirror. My right eye was swollen as was my left cheek with blood also trickling from my nose and I had semen over my face. I acquired some tissues from the dispenser wiped the blood from my nose and some of the semen on my face then. I got some more tissues and cleaned my rectum and noticed blood on the tissue which didn't surprise me as my rectum was hurting something terrible. While I cleaned myself I heard the bell go for the commencement of classes but didn't really pay it much mind. I bent down and lifted my clothing and secured my trousers in place, painfully I walked to the toilet door opened it and looked outside inspecting the corridor to see if it was clear of people.

I knew I couldn't go to my class in the condition I was in, and in any case I didn't much feel like letting the other boys see what had happened to me. Grabbing my pack from the floor I decided to make my way home, I thought if I left by the side entrance no one would see me as lessons had already started so pupils and teachers should all be in their respective classes.

Painfully and staggering slightly I made my way down the corridor then through the side entrance and out into the street. Now I had to make a decision which way to make my way home either the long way round by the main roads or through Wendell's Passage, which would bring me within a hundred yards of our house.

I had been banned by my parents from using the passage as it had a reputation of ill happenings, but now in my present state I knew going home by the longer route would draw more attention to myself so without much ado I staggered into the passage which twisted and wound its way around the back of the houses heading for home.

Maybe it was sheer luck or that my parents had exaggerated the reputation of Wendell's Passage either way I saw no one or anything or maybe my condition was such and the way I was staggering that it might have just made people write me off as another lowlife. I came out of the passage way into the main thoroughfare then turned right at the first junction into our road, and within a minute I was fumbling with the keys then opening the front door. I slammed the front door shut and made my way up to my room locked my bedroom door dropped my pack, kicked off my shoes, took off my jacket then lay on my bed face down. The moment my head rested on my pillows I closed my eyes and slept.


I have the smallest bedroom at one end of the house with my brothers Connor and Chase sharing the one next to mine. It was the slamming of a car door and feet pounding up the stairs that awakened me. I could hear my brothers talking excitedly and laughing uproariously at what they had done to some of the juniors in the initiation ceremony at school. My stomach turned again and I nearly threw up, my mental condition being unbalanced from my assault I thought that my brothers would open my door and start on me.

"They couldn't," I thought "Oh God no, not again please not again help me hide," and that's what he did.


James Anderson junior, Jimmy to his family and friends asked his other siblings that he'd given a lift home if they'd seen Robbie. They all gave negative answers so Jimmy walked to Robbie's room and knocked on the door. Not getting any answer he tried the door and found it locked.

"Robbie are you in there?" he got no response, again he yelled and still no response now the eldest brother was getting worried. After banging on the door a few more times with still no reactions he got his phone out and dialled his father's office number. When it was answered he explained to his father that they hadn't seen Robbie all day at school and when they'd come home his door was closed and no answer coming from within. He listened to his father then putting his phone away he called Connor over and told him that dad had said, "To break the door down and not to waste time doing it."

They stood back then moved forward and slammed their shoulders against the door which flew open. The two boys stumbled into the room and stood and stared in horror at what they saw then there was a scream from Karen as she had also entered the room with Chase beside her.

Robbie was lying on his stomach his face resting on his pillow and turned towards the door, there was spit dribbling from the side of his mouth onto the pillow; his eyes were open but glazed and unseeing. They could see the damage done to his face and the blood stains on his trousers, they were all frozen momentarily till Jimmy his voice breaking with emotion again used his phone to call for an ambulance. Talking to the phone operator he told them what had happened, and she in turn advised him that the ambulance would be there in less than three minutes.

He phoned his father again and with difficulty explained what had happened and that the ambulance was on its way and could he please explain it to mum. He rang off and could hear the sirens in the distance gradually getting louder till it stopped outside the house. He ran down the stairs opened the front door and led the paramedics in and up to Robbie's bedroom.

Within minutes after attending to the boy the paramedics had Robbie in the ambulance then turning to Jimmy told him they were taking Robbie to the City Hospital, and when they and their parents came, not to go to the main entrance of the hospital but to go to the children's section at the side of the hospital it will get them to see their brother a lot quicker.



The nurse's desk had been alerted by the bleeper to Robbie Anderson's imminent recovery from coma and the nurse now made her way to his room.

It wasn't bad in there no noise just silence but now I think I've waited long enough, I reckon my brothers must have left by now, I haven't heard or felt anything in a while so they couldn't have found me. I'll just have a quick look and see if they're still in my room if they are then I'll just go back inside and hide some more, and there will be no one or anything to bother me."

I opened my eyes slowly, it's quite dim in the room there's a very weak light burning in the ceiling and then I realized this isn't my room. I was startled for a moment when a figure appeared but was relieved to see it was a woman and in a uniform.

She smiled saying, "Hello Robbie."

I tried to talk but the words got stuck in my throat, the woman put her arm around the back of my shoulders lifted me slightly then held a feeding mug to my mouth and gave me a sip of water then let me back on the pillows.

"Who are you?"

"Nurse Kathleen Reynolds, at your service."

"Thanks nurse, that means I'm in hospital," and just then a man in a white coat entered the room.

"Hi Kathy everything okay."

"Yes Doctor, Robbie regained consciousness a couple of minutes ago."

He shone a light from a pencil torch and looked into each eye felt my pulse then turning to the nurse said, "Alright keep monitoring him till morning then after some tests if all is well we can then move him into the children's ward." He ruffled my hair then left the room.

"How long have I been here?"

"This is your second night in hospital so about a day and a half."

"Can you take all these things off me?"

"You heard Doctor Ryan; we have to keep monitoring you till morning."

"What time is it now?"

The nurse looked at her watch, "03.25am."

"Can I have another sip of water please," she gave me some more water that felt really good then she settled me back on the pillows again.

"I've got to go and wake your mother Robbie."

"My mum?"

"Yes she's sleeping in the next room she asked to be informed the moment you regained consciousness."

The nurse left me and I was eager to see my mum but also a bit nervous wondering what she might think about what happened to me. I needn't of worried she breezed into my room her hair a bit unkempt and with a dressing gown wrapped around her. She took my hand and squeezed it at the same time bending over to kiss me on the cheek and saying, "Thank God Robbie I feel terrible about the horrible things done to you, but don't worry about it now, just get better so that you can be up and about again.

"Thanks mum for being here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else and so would the rest of the family if they were allowed."

Immediately my blood ran cold and I cowered away from my mother.

"What's wrong Robbie?"

"I don't want to see my brothers just yet mum."

"Why ever not?"

"Because I'm scared mum I just don't want to see them."

"But Robbie it wasn't them that attacked you."

"No but I heard them laughing and joking about the boys that they made run around naked with their underwear on their heads. I heard Connor say that one of the wimps was just about crying. If they can do that to other boys they can do it to me."

"Oh God Robbie they would never harm you."

My thinking was not right and I could see the images of the boys that raped me and now I became hysterical and screamed "I don't want to see them, keep them away from me mum."

The nurse came rushing into the room and moved my mother from my bedside, she took a couple of tablets told me to swallow them and gave me a sip of water

"He'll sleep now I think it best he rest till morning," and she led my mother away.

I lay thinking about what had happened, and realized that I'd have to face my brother's sooner or later as we all lived in the same house, but at least for the time being I was safe from them. As my befuddled thinking continued so my eyes glazed over and I fell asleep again.



I woke to see the sunlight streaming through the window and a nurse looking at a chart in her hand. It wasn't the same nurse from last night but a much younger one.

She noticed I had awakened and smiled at me saying "Good morning Robbie."

I looked around and noticed that most of the tubes had been removed from me, "Uh good morning nurse, is mum here?"

"No she had to go into work but she said she'll be in this afternoon, but your dad is on his way to see you."

My dad," I mumbled, and my thoughts centred on him. The man that I felt so safe with, but what will he think of me now, letting those boys do what they did to me. He might hate me for being a wimp and not fighting back. My mind was getting more confused by the minute as my muddled thoughts worried me even more, so when my father walked into the room I shrank away from him and cowered in my bed. He stopped and looked at me then moving forward opened his arms saying,

"Come to me Robbie."

Hearing his voice and seeing his gesture of open arms all my fears left me. I sat up in my bed and started bawling as my fathers arms enveloped and hugged me.

"Dad I'm sorry I didn't want it to happen," I blubbered, "I tried to run but they got me you don't think bad of me do you?"

"Robbie that's nonsense son no one thinks bad of you for what happened we're all very sorry and the police will get the boys that did this, and if they don't then I will." Unwrapping his arms from around me he cupped my face in his hands which were big as plates making my face disappear then lowering his head pecked me on the lips.

He held me close and said "The nurse says that it hasn't been very long since you woke up, I'm going to be outside till she finishes attending to you, then I'll be back to help with your breakfast, after that they'll move you to a private room. Your mum and I thought it best for you to have your own room rather than be in a ward.

My dad stood up and started to leave the room when I called to him. He turned asking, "What's wrong son."

"Nothing's wrong dad but when will I be going home?"

"Not too sure Robbie, the doctors need to run a few more tests on you. The assault and then your brothers pounding on your bedroom door caused you so much shock that you went into a coma, plus they said you'd had a concussion nothing serious but they want to make sure you're okay before they discharge you from hospital, which might be tomorrow."

"Alright dad, see you in a bit," and as he walked out the nurse came in to attend to me.

"I asked her if I could go to the toilet and wash."

She helped me out of the bed and the moment I stood I totally lost it, my head started spinning and I had to quickly sit on the bed which also caused a bit of pain as my rectum was still sore. She smiled saying, "Don't worry Robbie that sometimes happens just get back in the bed and I'll sponge you down, you can try standing later when you're a bit stronger.



I was moved into a private room which had all the trimmings. My dad left just after lunch he said he had to go and pick up some papers from the office but he'd be back later in the day. Before leaving he informed me that a detective from the C.I.D. would be coming to see me to get some information about what took place at the school.

I got to thinking about what had happened at school, I knew I fancied other boys but had kept it pretty well hidden so I was pretty sure no one else knew my secret. I'd known for about a year about my feelings towards other boys.

What had happened to me in the toilets should not happen to any school kid it, was just a frenzied sexual attack for no reason at all.

I was picturing the faces of the boys that attacked me and knew that their images would be imprinted on my brain for the rest of my life. I was deep in thought recollecting what had taken place when the room door opened and a youngish looking man poked his head around the door. Seeing that I was awake he smiled stood up and walked into the room. At once I cringed backwards pulling the bed linen up to my chin. Noticing my anxiety he quickly pulled his identity badge and showed it to me and saying, "I'm sorry for startling you Robbie, is it alright if I call you Robbie? Your dad said that's the name your family and friends use."

I nodded, and he pulled a chair to the bedside and sat down smiling.

"I'm Detective Donald Bentley, uh Robbie, do you feel up to discussing what happened to you at school on Monday."

Again I nodded.

He frowned, "Umm can you open your mouth Robbie."

Now it was my turn to frown but I did what he requested.

"Ah ha! You've got a tongue he said smiling "

I laughed saying, "Yeah."

I then answered his questions about the assault and told him that I could identify the boys that attacked me."

"You won't have to identify them Robbie, Jeffery Givens I think you know him, came into the police station and admitted to being in the toilet when the attack took place. Another boy came forward as well a bit later, and after questioning the two boys, we picked up the other three at their houses. They're all being held in a juvenile detention centre for questioning and will stay there until they appear before a magistrate's court in a couple of days. As we have all the evidence we need I've only come here to get whatever else I can about the assault just in case they decide to plead Not Guilty."

"What evidence did you get?"

"The hospital took samples from you and had a DNA test done on them we took swabs from the five boys and the tests matched with the hospital tests proving that three of the five boys left semen deposits on you. The other two hadn't but they're being implicated for assisting in the assault."

We went through a few more questions then he stood thanking me for helping him with his enquiries and asked, if it would be alright for him to talk to me again if he needed to."

I agreed to his request and after saying, "Goodbye," detective Donald Bentley began to leave when I stopped him by calling out."

"Yes Robbie." And he walked back to my bed

"Umm, about Jeffery Givens,"

"What about him."

"I think he tried to stop the other boys verbally but they wouldn't listen to him, just thought you ought to know."

"He gently patted me on the head, "Okay Robbie I'll remember that, "Then saying, goodbye again left.


The rest of the day dragged slowly by with me trying to watch a bit if television only to keep my mind off the events of Monday morning at school.

By 6.30pm my parents showed up and I was glad to see them. I started to cry again for no other reason than I was so emotionally traumatized by what had happened to me and the thought of my brothers making other kids like me do what they were told to do.

My parents soon got me smiling again. My dad kept trying to act normal but I could feel that underneath there was a terrible rage that he was keeping under control. I hate to think what he would do if the police investigation doesn't come to a successful conclusion.

By 9.30pm they kissed me goodbye, my mum deciding to go home now that she knew I was feeling better, at the doorway they both turned waved to me and disappeared from view. With some tablets given to me by the nurse that would gave me a dreamless sleep I didn't wake again till

At 11.30am my dad arrived at the hospital with a clean set of clothing and with his help I got dressed. The clothes that I came to the hospital in had gone to the police forensics department. After saying goodbye to the nurses, and my dad pushing me in a wheelchair, he wheeled me out of the hospital to the car. After getting me into the car he strapped me in then went and returned the wheelchair. A couple of minutes later he was back and we were on our way home.


When dad parked the car he came around to my side and helped me out. Seeing that I wasn't walking too well he scooped me into his arms and carrying me walked into the house. He went straight up to my room and gently laid me down on the bed then sat down beside me. He had a sad look in his eyes as he gazed at me and I was wondering what was going on inside his mind.

"What's wrong dad?"

"Uh nothing why do you ask?"

"The way you look."

"What d'you mean the way I look, how do I look?"


He was silent for a while then cupping the side of my face in his hand he said, "I'm sad for you Robbie, I'm praying that you can overcome everything that's happened to you. Your mum told me about your reaction to seeing your brothers and after what happened I can understand your fear of them, but before you judge them too harshly Robbie give them a chance. I'm not too happy about their behaviour actually I was very angry about what they did in the school and will take them to task about it later.

"I'm okay dad I'm sure I can get over this the only iffy part is going back to school.

Well you don't have to go back straight away Doctor Ryan has informed the school that you won't be fit to return for at least a week.

As dad and I were talking we heard the front door close, "That will be your oldest brother I asked him to come home early," he rose from the bed and went to the door calling out, "Jimmy we're in Robbie's room." Dad then came back and sat on the bed which was reassuring for me.

We heard footsteps and then into the room walked Jimmy he's the spitting image of my dad but twenty three years younger. He smiled weekly at me saying,

"Good to see you home Robbie," and came over to the bed and gently placed his hand on my head.

Dad took my hand saying, "I asked Jimmy to come home early as I didn't want to leave you at home by yourself. I've got to see a client this afternoon but as soon as I've finished I'll pick your mother up and get back here, are you okay with that."

"Alright dad Jimmy will look out for me."

He got up from the bed then turning to Jimmy said, "He's your responsibility."



Dad left leaving Jimmy and I staring at each other, till he came and sat down where dad had been sitting. I loved all my siblings but Jimmy I loved that little bit more he reminded me so much of dad that I always felt safe and secure in his presence. It was only on the Monday when I was raped, and hearing him with my other two brothers talking about what they did to the juniors at school that I realized that Jimmy like Connor and Chase also had his faults. Now with him sitting on the bed I didn't feel as comfortable in his presence as I would have two weeks ago. He reached out and took my hand saying, "I'm sorry Robbie really, really sorry for what happened to you. Mum told us about why you didn't want us visiting you at the hospital, you should know that we would never hurt you Robbie and the kids in school we never hurt them just caused them a bit of embarrassment."

I didn't feel like talking about what had happened so I said, Its okay Jimmy, can we go downstairs for a while I feel I need a sarnie and a cold drink."

Jimmy got up from the bed and waited for me to stand when he saw that I wasn't very stable on my feet he wrapped an arm around me and helped me down to the kitchen.

I had a cheese sarnie and a coke then we went into the sitting room to watch the box. Jimmy sat in the armchair and he let me lay full stretch on the settee.

I must have dozed off while watching the telly because my eyes flew open and I jumped on hearing the front door slamming shut. Jimmy called out and the two boys and my sister came into the room. Karen came over to me straight away kissing and hugging me, my other two brothers hung back a bit. Jimmy got up from his chair went over to Connor and Chase, and taking them by the arm propelled them towards me.

As Connor came towards me he looked annoyed which made me cower against my sister thinking that he was going to have a go at me, and that's precisely what he did, "You little shit we didn't attack you so why do you have to be afraid of us."

"Connor, Jimmy roared."

He turned towards Jimmy, "Don't fucking Connor me, I know him, I've been watching our little brother, the way he looks at his friend Joey and some of the older boys that visit here, and the way he stands in the door watching Joey go home after visiting. Our little brother's a faggot, and because of him my friend is in custody, he deserves what he got and most probably liked it."

I jumped out from my sisters arms and staggered towards the door Jimmy tried to stop me and I screamed. "Let me go I don't ever want to see any of you again."

I brushed past Connor and banged against the doorpost then staggered up to my room locking the door behind me and lay on my bed.

A few minutes later I heard a knock on the door, and Jimmy asking to be let in.

"Go away I don't want to see or talk to any of you again," I shouted.

I heard footsteps retreating I relaxed curled up on my bed and soon dozed off.


I was awakened about half an hour later by my dad's voice and knocking on the door. I shouted out "I was coming," and walked over and let him and my mum in.

I went back and lay down on the bed again tears still in my eyes, my mum came over and cuddled me which only prompted me to sob even more.

They waited till I had reduced my crying to the odd sniffle then my dad said, "Jimmy told us what happened."

I looked at my parents then said the words that tore right through them, "I don't feel safe living here if you two aren't here."

They were silent for a minute more from shock at what I had just said, then dad spoke, "Robbie you know they would never hurt you."

"They already have dad, they don't have to hit me to hurt me but they can with the words they use. Right now only Connor has insulted me because he was angry won't the other two do the same at sometime in the future when they lose their tempers, and did Jimmy tell you that Connor called me a faggot?"

"If you must know Robbie your mother and I more or less guessed that you had homosexual tendencies, but that didn't stop us loving you any less actually we were more protective of you because of your frail build and sensitivity."

I hung my head as I realized that my parents had already guessed about my homosexuality, I looked up at them with tears streaming down my cheeks and said.

"Dad, mum please I didn't ask to be like this, and I didn't like what those boys did to me like Connor said I did," I paused a bit then said.

"I know how I feel inside and I don't think I want to face my brothers and be in the same room as them at present."

Mum kissed me and got up from the bed saying your father and I have something to discuss you lie down here and rest, and we'll be in to see you later.


That evening my mum brought my food to my room so I didn't have to sit at the table with my brothers. I hadn't heard any raised voices so mum and dad hadn't spoken to my brothers or if they had they'd kept their voices down so I couldn't hear. Later dad came up and helped me shower and change then mum came up to join him. They gave me a couple of tablets that the hospital had prescribed, then kissed me goodnight and left me to sleep, which I did after all of the days trauma.

Next morning I heard the boys and my sister yelling their goodbyes to my parents the front door slamming as they left for school.

My parents came into my room looking a bit sombre as they both sat on my bed.

"Robbie," my mum began, "Your father and I have discussed it all last night and only if you're agreeable we'll let you go and live with your uncle Michael, and, if you do decide to stay with him he is willing to home tutor you, or if you would prefer to go to mainline school then he can arrange that as well.."

I jumped up saying, "For how long mum?"

"As long as you want too Robbie, the moment you feel you want to return home we'll bring you back. We'll drive over every Friday night and spend the weekends with you coming home on Sunday afternoon, now you decide."

Without hesitating I said, "Yes mum I'll go but only you and dad will come you won't bring the boys."

"We won't do anything without your consent Robbie," my dad said.

The moment I agreed to leave mum and dad started packing my clothes and other possessions away, while they were doing that I made my way to the bathroom to shower and change. Inside the bathroom I yelled for my dad who came running asking what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong dad, could you help me shower."

He grinned helped me off with my nightwear turned the shower on; when the water was warm enough he bodily lifted me and plonked me in the shower. Five minutes later dad was tenderly drying me off then helped me get dressed. We came into the room to see mum busily packing things away she stopped on seeing us told my dad, to carry on with the packing while she took me downstairs to feed me.


One hour later with my clothes and belongings packed away in the car we set off to my uncle's house. The drive wasn't long and two hours later we were pulling into my uncle's driveway. The moment the car doors opened my uncle appeared at the front door and he walked over to the car to greet us.

While my mum and I walked into the house my dad and his brother unpacked my stuff and stored them in my bedroom. I was no stranger to this house as we had visited on many occasions and I was very fond of my uncle Mike. He was very similar in appearance to my dad only he was a lot slimmer in build.

After a couple of hours my mum and dad made ready to return home, I felt a bit sad but knew they'd be back to stay with us on Friday for a couple of days.

I kissed my mum and dad goodbye and watched the car till it was out of sight. My uncle sensing my sadness wrapped an arm around me and walked me to the sitting room.


At 4.00pm the other Anderson children walked into the family house, Jimmy ran upstairs and went straight to Robbie's room, he knocked on the door opened it went in and stopped in the doorway astounded. There was no Robbie and besides the bed and the other bedroom furniture there was nothing of Robbie's in the room. He went over to the wardrobe opened it to see it empty. Slowly he turned and walked back downstairs to confront his sister and brothers. Walking into the kitchen where they were helping themselves to snacks and cold drinks Jimmy said, "Robbie's gone."

They all stopped what they were doing then Karen said, "What do you mean Robbie's gone, gone where?"

"I don't know but none of his things or clothes are in his room."

Karen dashed past him and up to Robbie's room to see for herself, a few moments later she walked slowly back to join the boys to confirm that their younger brother was no longer in the house.

They looked at each other guiltily, all thoughts of filling their stomachs forgotten momentarily. Jimmy reached for his phone and dialled his fathers number, within seconds he was talking to is father. When he'd finished talking he put the phone away and turning to the others said, "Mum and dad are on their way home they'll be here within the next half hour.

"So what d'you think has happened," Connor blurted out.

"Haven't a clue," Jimmy said, "All dad would say is that he'll discuss it with us when they return."

They waited for their parents to arrive, continuing with their snacks and drinks but not relishing them as much as they would have since hearing the news of their brother's absence.

A little bit longer than half an hour they heard the car drive into the garage then their parents coming though the kitchen into the sitting room where they were all gathered. The parents greeted their children then Mr Anderson asked them all to be seated around the dining table. The family trooped into the dining room and took their respective places at the table.


When they were all seated Mr Anderson at the head of the table stood saying, "We need to talk about Robbie and also your attitudes and behaviour."

"We haven't behaved badly dad," Jimmy replied."

"Well after I've had my say you can if you wish repeat that statement, is that fair enough Jimmy?"

"Yes dad."

Mr Anderson cleared his throat looked at his children then began.

"Your mother and I thought that we had brought up our children to respect the rights and feelings of others irrespective of their colour, creed, or nationality, apparently we failed and in that the blame lies squarely on our shoulders."


"Quiet I haven't finished," and Jimmy was silent.

Firstly what happened to Robbie was detestable and your mother and I pray that he'll get over it. Robbie was given a choice to either stay here in this house or to live with my brother your Uncle Michael. He chose the latter, Robbie felt that sooner or later that either one of you when you lost your tempers would insult him or even hurt him if your mother or I were not present, and he didn't want to have to live with that hanging over his head all the time."

Looking at Connor he continued, "He's already had one example of that yesterday." Connor bowed his head looking at the table top.

"Before we left this morning I phoned Joey, Robbie's friend and asked him to do something for me and I got his response to my request on the way home this evening." James Anderson senior took a sip of water and continued, "Before I tell you what I asked Joey to do for me, I want you three boys to describe what your initiation ceremonies were like?"

The boys were silent till Connor blurted out, "We didn't have one."

"Precisely and why do you think you didn't have an initiation ceremony?"

The boys shrugged their shoulders.

"Well if you don't know I'll tell you why, it was because of your size. All of you were well above average height, and weight, for your ages so you were left alone. Now were any of the boys that you initiated above average weight, or height, or were they small and wimpy like you described them?"

The boys were silent

"Answer me damn you." James Anderson roared.

The boys' jumped startled at their father's outburst and mumbled, "They were small."

"Yes like your brother, and do you think those boys who raped your brother would have done so if he wasn't a wimp, like you put it."

"No," the boys chorused together."

"That's right, they like you, are cowards and bullies." Mr Anderson looked at his sons defying any of them to deny what he'd just called them but they remained silent.

"I asked Joey to talk to the boys that you had initiated on Monday and to get their views on what they thought of the three Anderson boys. All the boys were of the same opinion they didn't like any of you as they thought you enjoyed humiliating them. Joey who was also one of the boys initiated said that he would never come to this house again to visit Robbie unless your mother or I were at home."

Again James Anderson paused taking another sip of water.

"How the Hell can the three of you pick on kids so small and humiliate them to such a degree that they are on the verge of tears. Didn't any of you feel that what you were doing was wrong? I went to the same school as you boys, and in all the time I was there I never participated in any initiation ceremonies and at one stage with some other students we tried to have it stopped. We thought that we'd brought you all up to lookout for the younger boys especially the weaker, and more vulnerable ones, but apparently what we taught you went in one year and out the other, and it seems that you take great pleasure in humiliating boy smaller than yourselves."

Karen stood up saying, "I wasn't part of any initiation ceremony dad."

"That's very true Karen, but you did know of your brother's behaviour and what they were doing, did you at any time ever voice your disapproval at their actions or come and tell us."

Subdued Karen sat down again.

"At the moment your, (as one of you so eloquently put it) faggot brother is no longer living here."

Connor jumped up, "I'm sorry dad I'm sorry I didn't mean it."

"And you didn't mean it when you said he deserved what he got."

"Oh God!" Connor cried as tears flowed down his cheeks he sat down and buried his head in his arms.

"Sit up Connor don't try and hide from your shame acknowledge what you've become, and maybe just maybe you'll be able to rectify the wrong you've done, and that applies to you two as well, maybe this episode in your lives will help you to become the type of young men that your mother and I hoped you would."

All the Anderson children were silent not knowing what more was in store for them.


James Anderson with his voice sounding a bit more emotional continued, "It's breaking your mother's and my hearts to have to leave our youngest son who is so desperately in need of us at my brother's house, because of all things he doesn't feel safe in the company of his own brothers all because he happens to feel he has homosexual tendencies and his brothers can't cope with that fact. And for your information Connor your mother and I suspected it of Robbie long before you even thought of it.

We also dropped in at Joey's house before coming home as he had asked to speak to us about Robbie. We told him that Robbie is not living here at present and won't be returning to school in the near future. He asked that he be allowed to accompany us when we go to see Robbie next week which we and his parents agreed to. In future we'll be going to visit Robbie every weekend from now till he returns home."

"Can we come as well?" Jimmy asked.

"No Jimmy, not till Robbie says so, and I don't want you driving over there because if you do, so help me I'll have a restraining order slapped on all of you by the courts, which will stop you going within a hundred miles of Robbie. We're not doing this to be spiteful but we want Robbie to get over the fear he has so that he'll be able to come back home as soon as possible, and also for you boys to get your act together concerning your behaviour towards others who may be different from yourselves. Your Uncle Mike has a very good Psychiatric friend who has agreed to counsel Robbie and hopefully he can get Robbie back to as near normal as possible. That is why we're leaving Robbie in an environment which will help to speed up that process. It's bad enough for him if it ever came to light to have to face the stigma of homosexuality outside these doors but to also have to come home to the knowledge that the abuse does not stop there, is a lot for a thirteen-year-old boy to have to face especially after what he's been through.

I've had my say, now go and get on with whatever you wish, just be here when your mother calls you for the evening meal."


"Yes Jimmy."

"I'm sorry we let you and mum down, we were thoughtless and didn't stop to think that our actions and behaviour were reflecting on you and mum, but more important the humiliation we inflicted on the boys at school."

"You've apologized to us Jimmy, but you have a much harder task in store when you apologize to the boys in school and ask their forgiveness."

"It will be done tomorrow dad, the moment we walk into the school."

Connor stood facing his father his face drawn with tearstains on his cheeks, "Dad I uh um I, can you tell me how I can make it up to Robbie"

"Look inside yourself Connor see what you are and how you project yourself to the outside world. Put yourself in Robbie's position and try and imagine how he feels about the rape and the insults he's had to bear mainly from you. When you've done that Connor you won't be even close to the pain and anguish that he has had to suffer. When you can come to some sort of understanding of his feelings Connor, then you'll know how to heal your brother's hurt, and mend his heart, and then you can start rebuilding his feelings towards you."

The boys and sister left their parents, and made their way to their rooms humbled and ashamed bearing the knowledge that their youngest brother didn't wish to live in the same house as them because he was afraid of his own flesh and blood.

Part 2

Jeffery Givens was a far from happy young man, at sixteen years of age his world had been turned upside down by the events that had involved himself and four other boys in the rape of Robbie Anderson, his friend's brother.

After the magistrates hearing and his release on bail from police custody he was one very emotionally disturbed teenager. He hadn't been able to sleep at nights and his concentration at school was non existent. At every spare moment his thoughts would be dragged back to the events in the toilet and the pain that Robbie must have gone through. He wondered why Connor even spoke to him let alone still be friendly.

He hadn't even had the guts to try and stop the rape, as soon as Barton said "grab his fucking arm and bend him over," he had complied to frightened to refuse. Connor had tried to cheer him up during their school, breaks but he had shrugged him off and asked to be left alone, he felt he couldn't bring himself to talk with Connor until he could somehow make amends for what had been done to Robbie.


He'd seen Robbie many times when he had hung out with Connor at their house. The boy was startlingly beautiful with his blonde hair and black eyes, with such small delicate features. He had often thought that if Robbie grew his hair to shoulder length or longer he could quite easily be taken for a girl and a very beautiful one at that. He wanted desperately to talk to Robbie but like in the toilet he lacked the courage knowing before he could do so he'd have to face Mr Anderson and facing him was more frightening than even facing up to Barton.


It was a Wednesday morning about 6am and he was awake again he'd had the dream of Robbie being abused and him trying to plead with Barton not to hurt Robbie. Barton looks at him in a threatening manner and says hold him which he does, and unlike in the toilet, in his dreams Robbie screams as he is penetrated, jerking him awake. Jeffery Givens lies sweating in his bed. He jumps up thinking, "It's no use I have to face him sooner or later."

He quickly showers and dresses and goes down stairs his parents are still asleep as he lets himself out of the house. He makes his way towards the Anderson house and when he arrives he sits outside on the porch step and waits.

He'd been sitting there for nearly an hour when the front door opens and James Anderson sees the figure hunched up on the porch step.

"Jeffery what are you doing there?"

He jumped up startled not having heard the front door open, "Umm I was waiting to see you Mr Anderson. I wanted to ask you if I could see and talk with Robbie please Mr Anderson."

James Anderson could see the anguish written all over the boy's face and felt a bit of compassion for him, "I'm sorry Jeffery that isn't possible, Robbie isn't staying here at the moment he's with my brother in Bourneville."

"Oh," and his shoulders slumped as he turned to leave.

"Jeffery wait a minute, would you like to come inside."

"No thanks Mr Anderson I had better get back home," and Jeff's hopes of talking to Robbie were dashed.


By lunch break Jeffery Givens had made his plan, as soon as the bell went for the meal break he grabbed his things and headed out of the school. He jumped on a bus that took him out of town towards the motorway. He alighted from the bus and started walking till he hit the roundabout that would take him onto the motorway. From there he made his way onto the road and started thumbing and walking. He been to Bourneville once before with the Andersons when Connor's uncle was throwing a party for his daughter who had come to stay for a month during the holidays. He hadn't really wanted to go but Connor had dragged him along saying that at least he'd have someone to talk to. They had driven down in two cars the three older boys and himself in Jimmy's car and the rest of the family in the other. He been walking for about half an hour before a van pulled up and the driver asked where he was headed.


"Hop in I'm headed there as well, got a delivery to make."

Gratefully he jumped into the van and could rest his legs. They made good progress the driver seemed to be in a hurry which fitted in with his plans and it also meant they didn't do a lot of talking. An hour and a half later the driver swung off the motorway and on to a slip road leading to Bourneville. As they made there way towards the town Jeff kept his eyes open for the big church that he remembered that the Andersons had turned at. As soon as he spotted it he asked the driver to drop him off then after thanking him made his way towards the house in which he hoped he'd find Robbie.


He walked for about ten minutes till he saw Cherry Tree Avenue and a sigh of relief escaped his lips as he wasn't 100% sure that he was on the right road.

He headed down the street till he came to No18 taking a deep breadth he went to the door and rang the bell and waited nervously. He waited and there was no answer, he rang the bell again with the same result.

"Shit," he muttered. He looked at his watch 3. 25pm, "Okay I'll give it an hour," he thought, "And if no one arrives I'll head on back home."

He sat down on the step folded his legs so that he could lay his arms on his knees then rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes while he waited.



My uncle and I were coming back from my workout at the pool which we did twice a week. As swimming is one of the few sports that I enjoyed, uncle took me to the pool to give me some exercise also making me walk there and back which was a real bummer as it was over a mile to the pool.

We rounded the corner turning into the street that we lived on and as we neared the house we could make out a figure sitting on the front step. I got nervous and moved closer to uncle. As we drew up to the house the figure didn't move just stayed there which was really weird.

I suddenly saw the funny side of it and laughed as we could see it was a teenager who I seemed to recognize and who was asleep on the step blocking our entrance to the house. My uncle stretched out his hand and shook the boys shoulder.

He slowly raised his head and with bleary eyes looked at my uncle who had awakened him then realizing where he was he jumped to his feet.

His eyes focused on us then he said, "Sorry Mr Anderson I'm sorry didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Who are you?"

Before he could answer I said that's Jeffery Givens."

Uncle yelled, "What the Hell are you doing here, you're one of the boys who was involved in Robbie's rape."

"I'm sorry Mr Anderson I'm sorry, I had no way of contacting you to ask your permission to come over and see Robbie."

"Well you can just take yourself back home and the quicker you leave the better."

"No Uncle," I interrupted, "Let Jeff stay I don't mind talking to him. He tried to stop them from hurting me although not very successfully but he did try."

Uncle gave me an enquiring look then smiled okay if you say so Robbie, he can come in and talk."


We went into the sitting room and I sat on the settee with Jeff taking a seat next to me. Before either of us could say a word Uncle broke the silence saying,

"Do you want to be alone Robbie when you and Jeff talk."

"Yes please uncle but we'll go to my bedroom and talk."

"Alright but if you need me just yell."

I went over to my uncle hugged him and said, "I'll yell so loud the house will come down," then indicating to Jeff to follow me I led him to my bedroom.

Inside I sat on the bed and patted the mattress beside me for Jeff to sit. He just stood inside the room staring at me not moving, I could see tears welling up inside his eyes. I was going to get up when in a strained voice he told me to remain seated. Then he came over and knelt in front of me letting the tears roll down his cheeks to splash onto his shirt.

"Oh God Robbie," Jeff blurted out, "I'm such a bloody coward, I was too scared to act physically knowing that I'd get hurt. Even you tried to put up a fight and you're so much smaller, all I did was voice my concerns. I've been feeling like a worm ever since, and can't get the picture out of my mind of you being hurt so badly that I'm having nightmares about it nearly every night. Please Robbie say you forgive me."

Jeff surprised me by laying his head on my lap as he cried. I stroked his head saying, "Its okay Jeff I'm trying to learn to live with what happened I can't forget it but with the help of my counsellor I can learn to overcome the fear of the attack, now you've got to try and do the same."

He lifted his head off my lap and looked into me eyes, "Oh man Robbie you don't know what that means to me to hear you say you don't have any hard feelings against me."

"Yeah well if you don't get off your knees and sit down here beside me I much just change my mind."

For the first time since we'd seen him Jeff's face broke out into a smile and he stood up and sat down beside me.

"For a thirteen-year-old your one cool customer."

"Right now I am but I do have my moments when I get the shakes, mostly at night, so you see we both have something in common."

"Well I hope now that I've spoken to you Robbie, that the dreams I've been having will ease off. I haven't had a decent nights sleep in weeks and even in school I haven't been doing to well."

"How are my brothers Jeff."

"I don't really know, I was only released from police custody two weeks ago and since then I've been keeping to myself. Connor has tried talking to me but I felt so bad that I just shrugged him off. I only found out today that you were here. I went to your house this morning hoping to see you but your dad said you were living here in Bourneville for the moment."


Our talk was interrupted by a knocking on the door.

I yelled for my uncle to come in, and he did. "Do you boys' want something to eat?"

I looked at Jeff and he nodded his head. "Okay uncle," and we got off the bed and followed him downstairs into the kitchen.

Inside the kitchen uncle turned to Jeff saying, "Before you eat I think you should phone your parents and tell them where you are in case the school has got in touch with them about your absence."

"Can I use your phone Mr Anderson mine has no more credits left."

"Use the landline in the sitting room."

Jeff left to phone his parents and uncle and I stood facing each other.

"Since you've been here Robbie I've never seen you smile so much seems like Jeff has done wonders for you."

I smiled shyly, "I really like Jeff uncle he was always nice to me when he used to come over and visit. He always spent time chatting to me until Connor or one of the others dragged him away, actually I think even Karen might have fancied him."

"Seems like Jeff is a very popular boy."

"Not really, Chase told me that he used to be a bit of a loner till Connor got friendly with him."

Just then Jeff came back into the kitchen. Uncle at once asked him if all was well at home.

"Yeah mum was relieved to hear from me, gave me quite a mouthful but when I told her where I was she calmed down, and was glad that I had come over to see Robbie. Um Mr Anderson could you give me a lift to the coach station later on, my dad won't be back from work till quite late so he won't be able to pick me up?"

"Yes sure Jeffery, now you'd better sit down and fill your stomach."

"Can I use the toilet first?"

"Yes go towards the stairs and you'll se a door to the right of the stairs that's a downstairs loo."

When Jeff headed off to the toilet I quickly turned to my uncle saying, "It's nearly 5.00pm won't it be a bit late for Jeff to go home by himself it's going to be quite late when he arrives in Worcester."

"Do you want me to drive him home?"

"Umm no."

"Then what Robbie?"

"Uh he could spend the night here."

My uncle stared at me and most probably he could see the sparkle in my eyes, he smiled came over and grabbed me lifting me so that we were face to face.

"I think someone is in need of company other than his fuddy duddy uncle."

"You aint fuddy duddy you're the coolest uncle anyone can have."

"Okay I'll let you put it to Jeff when he comes back, and if he says yes he can phone his mother and tell her of the situation, otherwise I'll drive him back."

I wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck giving him a big squeeze, "Thanks uncle."

He untangled me from around him and put me down, "Now go and sit and I'll serve yours and Jeff's food, he should be back shortly."

I'd barely sat down and was about to start on my food when Jeff came back. I waited for him to be seated across from me before launching my question to him.

"Jeff would you like to spend the night here and you can go back tomorrow morning."

His spoon hung in mid-air then realizing what I just said quickly replied, "Oh yeah Robbie, that would be great," then turning to my uncle he asked, "If it's alright by you Mr Anderson."

"It's perfectly alright by me Jeffery; now get that food down your throat you must be starving. Tomorrow Robbie has his appointment with his counsellor I'll tell him to keep Robbie with him till I get back from dropping you back home."

"Thanks Mr Anderson, this is really turning out to be the best day for me in a long time."

We ate in silence but every time I looked across the table at Jeff I would see his eyes looking back at me, making me look down at my food.


That evening at about 9.30pm uncle got up from his seat as we watched the box and said, he was gong to change the bed linen in the room that my parents used when they visited.

"You don't have to do that uncle my bed is big enough Jeff can sleep with me, "I looked across at Jeff, "You don't mind do you."

"It's good, I'll sleep anywhere."

"There you go uncle you don't have to bother."

Uncle Mike looked across at me and smiled, "Okay Robbie, but I still have to find something for Jeff to sleep in." he left the room leaving Jeff and I staring at each other. He smiled across at me saying, "If I have a bad dream and wake you up don't blame me, I've warned you before hand."

"Huh, you think you're the only one having bad dreams," then I smiled saying, "Maybe we can have bad dreams together, and see whose is the worst."

Jeff broke out laughing and looking across at him I knew my feelings from earlier were again coming to the fore.

I had always loved Jeff from the first day that he came to our house with Connor. He was by far the best looking boy that visited our house and in my opinion in the neighbourhood. When he used to spend time talking to me I used to be in heaven, at times I wouldn't even answer him just stare and absorb every word he said, until he would tweak my nose saying wake up, and we would both laugh.

It was only when I saw him going with Connor on double dates with a couple of girls from their school that my hopes of he and I becoming an item faded.

I still used to talk to Jeff when he visited but only to be sociable, but still deep down I had a yearning for him and I to be more than just acquaintances.

By 11.00pm Jeff and I said goodnight to Uncle Mike and made our way to my bedroom. I let Jeff use the bathroom first and had to hide my laughter when I saw him come into the bathroom wearing a set of my uncle's night shorts. Uncle Mike is 6ft 3ins and I think Jeff must be about 5ft 9ins so the shorts were more like trousers on him. When he saw me trying not to laugh he couldn't help smiling himself knowing how funny he looked. I left Jeff in the room and went to wash and change when I returned from the bathroom changed into my nightwear Jeff was sitting on the bed.

I walked over to him saying, "Seeing that you're the guest I'll let you choose which side of the bed you want to sleep."

He grinned, "In the middle and you can choose whichever edge you wish."

I pushed him so that he fell back on the bed and jumped on top of him looking down at his face, "Well I happen to like sleeping in the middle as well so if you're occupying that spot then I'll just have to lie on top of you."

"Alright, alright," he said laughing, "I'll sleep on this side you can have the spot facing the window."

I looked down at his face and was sorely tempted to lower my face and bring our lips together instead I rolled off him and crawled over to the other side of the bed and got under the covers, and Jeff did the same his side.

I raised my arm to switch the light off when Jeff said, "Leave it, we can talk for a bit."

"You have to be up really early tomorrow Jeff."

"No matter, I want to talk awhile."

"What do you want to talk about?"

Jeff stretched out his arm then slid it under my head to wrap his hand around my shoulder then drew me closer until I was pressed up against him.

"When are you going to go back home?"

"I'm not sure I've got to get some things sorted in my head first then I'll decide."

"They won't give you a hard time at school Robbie and if anybody does your brothers will take care of them."

"I'm not too worried about going back to school Jeff."

"Then why are you here?"

"Connor hasn't told you yet."

"Told me what."

"Promise me Jeff that what I tell you, you won't repeat it to anyone else."

"You got it with a capital P."

So I related to Jeff what had happened after the rape when I got home, and then the day I returned from the hospital how Connor had reacted, then I repeated Connor's exact words. When I was finished Jeff was silent for a while.

"I think I know why Connor behaved in that manner," Jeff said looking at me, then continued talking, "About six months ago between classes I went to the toilet to wash my hands as I'd got ink all over them. Connor followed me saying he needed to relieve himself, we entered the toilet and we heard a noise coming from the end cubicle. Connor put his finger to his lips then walked quietly over to the cubicle next to the end one. He stood on the seat and looked over into the cubicle

"You dirty bastards he shouted," and there was a flurry of activity in the cubicle. Apparently there were a couple of fourteen-year-olds giving each other a hand job.

When they came out of the cubicle Connor seemed to lose it and would have hit them if I hadn't of stopped him. The two kids got out of there real fast, when they had gone I said "Christ Connor they were only doing what loads of kids do just mutual masturbation, what the hell got into you?" and that's when he told me.


"Apparently one day when he was just about fourteen he went to the shopping Mall. While he was there he wanted to have a piss, so he went to the nearest toilet and just as he was finishing a man came and stood next to him and reached out and grabbed his cock. He said he got so mad that he kicked the guy in the nuts and when the guy went down kicked him in the face then he left and went straight home. Since then he has a thing about homosexuals most probably he may be homophobic so that maybe the reason he went off at you like that."

I got out of the bed and was pacing around the room then stopping in front of Jeff who was still lying in the bed. I said, "I don't care what fears he has Jeff, but to say that I enjoyed what happened to me was really hurtful, and I can't see me getting along with him anytime soon. Now that you know about me are you going to stay clear of me?"

Jeff reached up and pulled me down on top of him then rolled me over to my side of the bed

"Get under the covers he ordered," and when I had he put his arm around me like before pulling me close into his body.

"Steer clear of you, you must be joking I'm going to get even closer if you'll let me."

I jumped up and look down at his face he was smiling, "You're umm you're uh umm like me?" I said hesitantly.

"Yeah, I took a liking to you from the first time I saw you, that's why I used to spend time talking to you till I used to be dragged away by Connor. Now lie down put the light out and get some sleep."

I reached my hand out switched off the light then nestled into Jeff's body, thinking I had to get raped to have the boy I had always yearned for to be lying next to me.

Part 3

I was in Heaven lying snuggled up to Jeff. His arm was still around me but I had taken the liberty to move it from my shoulder to my chest. Jeff who must have been totally whacked out had fallen asleep more or less the moment I switched the light off. Knowing that he was asleep I kept lifting his hand to my lips and kissing it then putting it back on my chest till I eventually fell asleep.

I thought I'd only been asleep a couple of minutes when I was awakened again by Jeff thrashing around on the bed shouting "No please Barton don't hurt him then suddenly he sat up in the bed shouting Nooooooo".

I grabbed hold of Jeff and just then the bedroom light was switched on and Uncle Mike was standing in the doorway.

"You alright Robbie,"

"Yes Uncle, Jeff was having a bad dream."

Jeff who was awake by now said, "Sorry Mr Anderson for disturbing you."

"That's okay Jeff now both of you try and get back to sleep, "Uncle switched the light off and left.

"Did I yell that loud that your uncle could hear me from his bedroom?"

I laughed, "You did yell loud but Uncle must have heard you on the intercom, he had it rigged up so that he could monitor me while I slept "

I leaned over and looked down at Jeff resting my body on top of his chest. "You want to tell me about you dream."

"It's always the same Robbie, I'm pleading with Barton not to hurt you, then he enters you and you scream and that's when I wake up. That scream Robbie is like my soul is being ripped from my very being."

I had to comfort him and the only way I knew how was to lower my face and bring our lips together. I whimpered as our lips met then he opened his mouth and our tongues united, and we were lost to our feelings as we explored each other with our tongues and drifted into a state of pure ecstasy.

Jeff broke the kiss and rolled me off him onto my back looking down at me. "I think I've just got the answer to my prayers as he kissed me on the tip of my nose."

He rolled me onto my side then pulled me into his body spooning into me I could feel his erection pressing into my lower back as he said, "Now sleep and no hanky panky."

I giggled and reached behind me grasping his erection making him jump. "What were you saying, no hanky panky."

He pulled my hand off and returned it to the front, "Behave yourself, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other once I get permission from your parents."

"What," I jumped around facing him are you crazy."

"No, I'm not going to do anything unless they consent to it. You're only thirteen and they might just say to wait till you're at least a year or two older. If that's the case then I'll wait, and so will you unless you find someone else. I have to do it this way Robbie I cant get on your parents bad side."

"Oh shhhhhhhhhhugar," and I lay down again and felt Jeff's arm creep under mine and pull me into his body. He kissed me on the back of the neck saying.

"Good night Robbie."

"I squeezed his hand, "Night Jeff."



I was awakened in the morning by my uncle shaking my shoulder to find me draped over Jeff's body. I opened my eyes and could just make out Jeff smiling at me. I looked up and saw my uncle also smiling, "Morning uncle, why's everyone smiling."

"At you, you're supposed to sleep on the bed not on top of Jeff."

I rolled off Jeff and sat up, "What time is it uncle?"


"Seven, I'm going back to sleep, I don't get up till nine usually," and lay down pulling the covers over me.

The covers were whipped off me again, "Come on Robbie I have to get you over to Doctor Griffiths for you weekly session but we have to get there a bit earlier as I have to get Jeff back home."

As uncle left the room I reluctantly crawled out of the bed. Jeff was on his way to get showered when I called out to him. He stopped turned and came back.

"What's up Robbie?"

"Will you let me talk to my parents first about us?"

Jeff gazed at me and smiling, "Okay Robbie but when will you talk to them?"

"Tomorrow, when they come to spend the weekend."

He bent down and kissed me on the forehead, "Okay, now I'm going to shower," and he turned to make for the bathroom.

"You want I scrub your back? I yelled at his departing figure.

Laughing he turned, "Yes and no. Yes I'd love it and no we'll never get finished." And he left the room.


I sat on the bed waiting for Jeff to finish in the bathroom alone with my thoughts. I was wondering how my parents will take it when I tell them about Jeff and I, and how they'll react to me being involved with one of the boys who was implicated in my rape.

Then it hit me I was in love with a boy who might go to juvenile detention when the case came to court. I went cold inside and realized I had to do all I could to get Jeff off with the lightest possible sentence.

I was saddened by my thoughts, and from being on high with my thoughts of love towards Jeff I now slumped into a fit of depression thinking what might happen to him at the conclusion of the case.

He walked in and could tell by the look on my face that I was upset.

"What's wrong Robbie?"

I got to thinking about you, and the court case when it comes up, and what will happen to you."

"Yeah I'm worried as well but detective Bentley told me as I initially gave myself up and helped them in their enquiries, and didn't actually participate in the rape itself, that it was highly unlikely that I'd get a custodial sentence. But you can never tell with Judges so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed."

"I'll keep mine crossed as well."

Jeff laughed and smacked me on the backside saying "Go get washed and changed."

I left the room feeling a lot better than I did a moment ago and headed for the shower.



An hour later we were all in the car with Jeff and my Uncle in the front and me in the back as I would be the first one to leave the car. When we arrived at Doctor Griffiths's house we all alighted from the car. I was standing at the back end of the car at as Jeff came over to me, "See you Robbie I don't know when but I'll try and make it back here sometime next week if your parents say it's okay. I've got your home phone number and I'll phone you every day," and handing me a piece of paper said, "And if you want you can phone me that's my number."

I held his hand as my eyes started to tear up and tried to speak but my voice caught in my throat.

Jeff squeezed my hand, "Robbie I'll be back I promise, now go on in to Doctor Griffiths."

I let go of his hand and turned to go into the house with Uncle Mike accompanying me, I suddenly turned went back to Jeff and whispered, "I love you," then went back to the house with my uncle. After a few brief words with Dr Griffiths at the front door and wishing us goodbye Uncle returned to the car the two of them got in waved and drove off.

I couldn't help it and started crying, Dr. Griffiths comforted me, it seems that Uncle Mike had taken the liberty to explain my feelings to him concerning Jeff so it was no surprise to him to see me crying knowing how shot my emotional state was.


Michael Anderson's mind was working overtime trying to come up with a way of bringing the subject of Robbie and the boy who was sitting in the car beside him, till eventually he decided the direct approach was the quickest and most effective.

Jeffery, did you and Robbie do anything last night?"

"Umm if you mean sex Mr Anderson no, but we did kiss. After that we lay down and went to sleep. Oh yeah I forgot he grabbed my dick one time but I took his hand off telling him, no sex till his mum and dad knew about are feelings for one another."

"What are your feelings Jeffery?"

"From the first time that Connor took me to his house and I saw Robbie on the settee reading a book I umm I uh umm just flipped. I had all these feelings running around inside of me and before I could speak to him he put his book down and asked me if wanted some refreshment.

I couldn't believe the sound of his voice, it was like bells ringing inside my head and when he laughed I realized that I hadn't answered him. I quickly said yes then to cover my embarrassment I said, "You surprised me, kids normally ask you if you want something to drink but you asked me if I wanted some refreshment, which was way out cool."

After that I used to always try and find time to talk to him when I visited but I couldn't talk to him for as long as I wanted, Connor would always drag me away.


Then that rape in the school was really bad, no bad isn't the word it was Hell. I really didn't think Barton and the others would do what they did. I thought that they would just scare him, but when he really went for it I tried to object. Barton and Philips gave me a dirty look and I knew if I didn't comply they'd beat the crap out of me. I saw Robbie try to run and Philips hit him, he went down and got up again and kicked Philips on the shin but having trainers on I don't think he hurt Philips who hit him again and sent him smashing into the wash basins knocking him out, the rest you know.

I keep having nightmares about it, I think it's because I didn't do anything and let it happen. Mr Anderson you have to believe me I let Robbie down in there but never again, if it ever comes to it I swear I'll give my life rather than see Robbie hurt again.

"I believe you Jeffery, now when do you intend confronting Robbie's parents?"

"I was going to see them later today when they got back from work but Robbie asked me to let him tell his mum and dad when they come to spend the weekend.

"Would you like to be there when he does Jeff?"

"Yes Mr Anderson I'd like to be standing right alongside him.

"Okay then If your parents are agreeable you can get the coach after school on Friday give me a call and I'll pick you up at the coach station, but don't tell Robbie we'll keep it as a surprise."

Michael Anderson changed the subject to put Jeff at ease and very soon they were taking the slip road into Worcester and shortly after that dropping Jeff off at his house.

"Thanks Mr Anderson for everything I'll phone you later this evening to let you know if my parents agree to my coming over on Friday."

"Okay Jeff will expect your call tonight and good luck."


He went inside the house greeted his mother and told her everything that had happened. He asked her if it would be alright for him to spend the weekend with Robbie, and seeing the sparkle in her son's eyes the for the first time since the rape she agreed to his wishes, but said "You'll have to ask your father as well."

"Umm mum, I may as well tell you now I going to see Robbie so that we can both confront his parents together to tell them that we'd like to be umm like umm you know."

"I don't know Jeffery tell me."

"Uh boyfriends."

"Oh is that it."

"Mum didn't you hear me I said, boyfriends."

"So you think I can't tell when my son has found someone that makes his eyes sparkle and walk around like he's in a dream."

"Is it that obvious mum?"

"To others no, to me yes, for the past few weeks you've been walking around like a zombie and all of a sudden you're smiling and your eyes are sparkling how can I not guess."

"Oh okay mum, I have to get changed now and go to school will you write me a note for yesterday and for being late this morning."

"Alright it will be on the breakfast table when you come down.


When the Head Teacher read his mother's note Jeffery Givens was sent to his classes without getting a detention.

All eyes turned on him when he walked into the class and a few mutterings could also be heard. Connor looked across at him with a frown on his face, as if to say,

"Where the Hell have you been."

The moment the bell went for the lunch break Connor at once got hold of Jeff saying, "So tell me."


"Where were you yesterday afternoon and why did you come in late today?"

"I went to see your brother Robbie."

"What you went to Bourneville to see him."

"Yeah I had to hitch it there as I'd need what money I had to get the coach back."

"So how did Robbie take it when he saw you?"

"Good we got along well, I'm going back again to see him on Friday."

Connor frowned, "You know my parents will be there tomorrow."

"Yeah I know."

"Okay good luck to you; now let's go get something to eat."


The next day Connor didn't refer to Jeff's visiting Robbie all he wanted was for Jeff to help him with his English essay and to check his math's homework before handing it in.

When the bell went for the end of classes Jeff yelled his goodbye to Connor and made for home as fast as possible. The moment he reached home he ran to his mother greeted her then bound up the stairs ripping his clothes off along the way so that when he reached the bedroom the upper half of his body was bare.

He quickly stripped his trousers, shoes, and socks and walked to the bathroom in his boxers. Quickly he showered and dressed then packed his shoulder bag with clean sets of underwear and T-shirts. Finished he went downstairs to eat something then wait for his father to return from work before going to the coach station.

While he sat talking with his mother he prayed that his father wouldn't be late getting home and as an answer to his prayer he heard the car pull into the side drive. After greeting his father and talking with him while he had a cup of tea, he asked? "Dad you haven't said much about my involvement with Robbie Anderson, are you sort of annoyed?"

"Annoyed absolutely not, disappointed yes. I was expecting you to produce a whole host of grandsons to carry on the family name and for me to spoil something terrible "

"Sorry dad."

"Don't be sorry for your feelings Jeff, just be happy with them Now grab your things and I'll give you a lift to the coach station."



I've been at Uncle Mike's for over a month going on two and I've done the same thing every Friday, at 6.30pm I stand at the window looking out and wait for the car to arrive, and this Friday was no different.

Just after seven I gave a Yell, "Uncle they're here," as I saw the car pull up outside the house.

I didn't wait for his response from the kitchen. I had the front door open and was running towards the car. As my mum got out I wrapped my arms around her waist as I kissed her saying, "Hi mum," then it was around the other side of the car and jumping into my fathers arms wrapping my arms and legs around him and squeezing with all my might as I crushed myself into his body then easing off and kissing him, "Hi dad, you're a bit late this time."

"Yes the traffic was pretty heavy, now get down and let's see if you've grown any."

"Aw, daaad it's only been six days since you last saw me."

"Well you never know, now stand straight and let's see." I did as he asked and with a smile on his face he said, "Well you might have grown about quarter of an inch not quite sure."

"Stop messing dad," I said grinning and walked back to my mum and grabbing her hand pulled her towards the house, "Come on in I have heaps to talk about to you and dad."

Inside with all the greetings with Uncle Mike over they went into the kitchen to have a cup of tea. While mum and dad were having their tea Uncle Mike said he had to go out for a while but wouldn't be long. He left then I heard him call me from the front door, I went over and he said in a low voice, "Don't talk to your parents about Jeff and you till I get back."

"How did you know Uncle?"

Jeff told me what you intended doing when I took him home, now promise you won't say anything till I get back."

I promised, and Uncle Mike left.



We were sitting in the front room when about fifteen minutes after he'd left Uncle Mike walked in. After he was seated I stood up and facing my parents said,

"Mum, Dad, umm would you mind umm if I had a boyfriend."

My mum and dad looked at each other then mum said, "We don't mind Robbie but we'd like to know who the boy is."

Suddenly the door opened. "It's me," Mr and Mrs Anderson."

I swung around and there he was standing in the doorway, I quickly crossed the room and jumped up as his arms wound around me holding me to him.

"You planned this with Uncle Mike didn't you?"

"He smiled, "Yep, you're not angry are you?"

"Angry you must be joking." and are conversation was brought to and end by my dad saying. "Do you mind if we continued with the topic of your having a boyfriend."

Jeff put me down and I apologized to my parents.

Dad continued asking me, "You really surprised me Robbie I thought it would be Joey we would be talking about. When did you and Jeffery get together?"

"It was never Joey dad he was just my best friend and still is. It was the first time we saw each other when Connor brought Jeff over to visit about six months ago. I went bananas over him, but my hopes were dashed when I saw him going on dates with some girls from their school with Connor. I thought I didn't have a chance with him. Then he came here on Wednesday to ask me to forgive him for what happened at school. We or I invited him to stay the night then after we had talked we realized that we had both wanted to get together from the moment we first met. Then when he woke the whole house up having one of his bad dreams that was the first time we sort of you know what."

"What do you mean you know what did you have sex?" Mum asked.

"No Jeff was sleeping with me and I asked him about the nightmare, then when he told me about it I felt so sorry for him that I just kissed him."

"And," my dad asked.

"And nothing dad, Jeff told me to go to sleep and no Hanky Panky, until he'd spoken to you he didn't want us to be boyfriends without your knowledge. But I asked him to let me speak to you first when you came to visit, but I didn't know that he'd be here with me talking to the two of you, I mean three."

My dad looked at Jeff asking him, "Do you parents no about your feelings for Robbie."

"Yes Mr Anderson actually my mum guessed."


"Well she said that I'd been walking around like a zombie for the last few weeks and when I came back from seeing Robbie she saw the change in me."

"Okay you two go to Robbie's room we have to discuss this between us then we'll give you our decision. Oh and Jeff it was very commendable your not wanting to get involved with Robbie without first telling us."


We left the room and out of view of the adults I held his hand as we went upstairs to my room. When we got there we both sat down on the bed and looked at each other no words were spoken as we leaned towards each other and are lips united.

A couple of minutes later we broke the kiss, "Do you think that your parents will agree to us being boyfriends Robbie?"

"I hope so but knowing parents they're bound to say no."

"You really think they'll say no."

"Yep, but don't worry about it Jeff I don't mind waiting till I'm older, will you wait as well?"

"I already told you I will, come here," and he pulled me into his body so that I was more or less lying in his arms.

We sat together in silence till suddenly I heard Uncle Mike's voice calling us down.

Quickly we jumped up from the bed and went down both of us nervous as Hell. Walking into the sitting room felt like walking into the lion's den.

After a brief pause my dad spoke, "Robbie your request that we allow you to have Jeffery as a boyfriend at the present moment in time is not a very good idea."

My heart sank on hearing those words I looked at Jeff and the blood seemed to have drained from his face.

My dad continued, "We're only taking this course of action as it's what you expected it," and he smiled, "Well you did say we wouldn't agree didn't you?"

And then it clicked, and I laughed and ran over to my dad and jumped on top of him. "You heard us talking on the Intercom didn't you?"

"Alright we did, but Robbie to be serious you and Jeff need to be as discreet as possible. I'm sure I don't have to remind you what might happen if it got around that the two of you are involved with each other. At the moment it isn't a problem Robbie, as you're staying here but when you do return home and go to school is when you'll have to be extra careful.

"We will dad," and I got up from his lap and went over to my mum. Sitting down next to her I put my arms around her and kissed her, "Thanks mum."

I looked over at Jeff who was still standing by the door looking awkward I stood up and walked over to him standing by his side I looked at the adults in the room saying, "There is one other problem."

"It's alright Robbie we think we know what you're referring to, the court case that's it isn't it?"

"Yes dad."

"Well we'll all have to face that when the day arrives, till then I suggest we get on with our lives the best we can. Oh Robbie I nearly forgot with all this boyfriend talk. You know that I stopped your brothers and sister from phoning or even coming here to see you."

"Yes dad."

"Well I didn't say anything about writing here this is for you," and dad handed me and envelope with, To Robbie written on it.

I tore the envelope open and read.


Dear Robbie,

We hope by now you're beginning to get over all the hurtful things that you have been subjected to and that you'll be home with us soon.

We really miss having our baby brother in the house; it just doesn't seem the same without you in it.

We miss your face at the dining table at the evening meal, or when we're sitting watching a scary movie on the telly there's no Robbie there to bury his face in one of our shoulders until we tell you its okay to look. But most of all we miss that giggle of yours it's like music to the ear, sometimes we swear we can hear it in the house and look around hoping to see you but you're not there, only the echo of your voice ringing in our ears.

We're all agreed we took your being in the house for granted, the same as we take our arms or legs. It's only when you don't have the use of them that you realize what they mean to you. Your not being here is like that, we feel part of us is missing and we won't be whole again till your back here where you belong.

We Love You Robbie.

From your Loving Sister and Brothers.

Karen, Jimmy, Connor, Chase.

Ps I'm sure I'll be the one that you'll feel the hardest to come to terms with Robbie, especially after the things I said to you that must have hurt you more than I can imagine. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and I swear I'll do all I can to rectify the wrong I did to you. The three of us have already spoken to the kids that we humiliated and now we're on very good terms with them, but I suppose you already know that as Joey (who even comes home with us in Jimmy's car) must have told you over the phone.

Please baby brother come home soon.

Love You.


I just couldn't help it and burst into tears. Dad jumped up from his seat and came over to me.

"Can I see the letter please Robbie?"

"Yes dad," I blubbered, "It made me so happy."

My dad read the letter and smiled then walked over to my mum and handed it over for her to read. When she had, I could see the tears in her eyes as she tried really hard not to shed them.


That night before Jeff and I went to bed I made sure to disconnect the intercom then switched off the lights from the doorway then ran and jumped on top of Jeff who was already lying on top of the covers. After the initial "Oomph" as I landed on top of him as our bodies met and his arms enveloped me I was in heaven

I lay silently on top of him my head resting on his shoulder just relishing being in his arms. I felt his hands stroking my back then his right hand moving to the back of my head and pulling it around so that our lips could unite.

The joy of being in the arms of someone you love and with your lips united in a kiss is a feeling that cannot be measured by words alone. It is a feeling of happiness that lights one inner self to such a degree that you feel your body wanting to burst with the pleasure of exuberance coursing through ones being.

That night Jeff and I sealed our love for one another and then slept in each others arms.


On the Sunday afternoon in the sitting room before my parents left I spoke to them

"Mum, dad, after I've seen Doctor Griffiths on Wednesday and he says it would be all right for me to return home I'd like you to take me back with you next weekend."

They didn't say a word instead mum and dad came over and took it in turns to hug me.


Later that afternoon as my parents and Jeff drove off I stood with my Uncle Mike watching the car as it disappeared from view.

At thirteen years and three months of age I have a long road ahead of me with a lot of obstacles in my path. But now with my mind more settled and the abuse I was subjected to firmly set in the past, I'm sure with the love and support of my family and with Jeff at my side those obstacles will pose no significant barrier to the two of us in our journey through life.

The End

Now some of you readers will most probably want the story to continue but I leave that in your own hands and imaginative mind.

When you so wish let your minds eye take the story in whichever direction you want by closing your eyes and letting your imagination do the rest. You can make yourself part of the story and weave whatever desires you wish into Robbie's life, letting the story unfold before you until you're satisfied with your own creation.


Thank you for reading and I hope that my humble rendition met with your approval, if it did and you wish to express your opinion on the story, then you can respond to my email address below.