Date: Sun, 11 Jan 2004 13:04:16 -0500 From: Krys T Subject: Dealing With it 7 First off, apologies for taking so long to post these next two chapters. Truthfully, they've been written for a while, but my editor had a few minor crises and I had to wait for them, so you did as well. I want to thank everyone who had written and say I'm sorry for not replying, but my computer was acting up and wouldn't let me send email. If you want to resend, go right ahead, I love the feed back. Normal legal B.S., don't read if you're not suppose to, or don't get caught. 7 Zane I awoke confused but comfortable the next morning. I had no clue where I was, but the strong arms wrapped around me proclaimed without a doubt that I wasn't alone. Slowly, the events of the night before began to trickle back into my sleep-starved brain, and I realized that I was in Cae's bed and those were his arms wrapped tightly around me. Not that I was complaining, but I felt odd. Last time I had, sometime in the night, moved closer to Ci, and we just naturally cuddled together. This was different. Cae definitely felt different than Ci, and the hard warmth of his body was a comfort next to me, but I had a feeling he'd be freaked if he woke up with me in his arms. I tried to move away from him, but he just tightened his grip and mumbled something against the back of my neck. I shivered softly from the sensation and resisted the urge to press back against his body. After a few minutes I began to relax again and I slipped back into sleep. The next time I woke up, I was alone in the bed, the covers tucked carefully in around me. The lamp on the nightstand next to me was on, giving the room some soft illumination. Ci and Anthony were still asleep in the other bed, Anthony snoring softly, and Ci spread across his chest. The two looked right lying there together. Ci had confided in me that she had had a crush on Anthony for years, but he always looked at her like a sister. Personally I didn't believe that. I had seen the way Anthony watched her. Even asleep, he held her as if he would never let her go. Smiling, I watched them until my bladder let me know that it wanted relief. I pushed back the covers and stood, pausing to shut off the light, and then headed toward the bathroom. When I reached the living room, I noticed Cae sprawled out on the couch watching cartoons. "Morning," he grunted, not looking up. "Uhg," I replied, continuing on to the bathroom. With my personal business attended to, I went back to where Cae was and flopped down on the other couch. "Sleep well?" he asked me, still staring at the TV. Oh yeah, I though to myself. "Pretty good. Was really tired." "Me too," he replied. "What were you going to tell me last night, before Ci and A came back?" I looked at him from the corner of my eye, debating whether or not I should tell him. Everything I knew or had heard about him told me that he was a good guy, and it wouldn't matter. Shit, he had to know about Rick and Jeff, and he was still friends with them. But neither of them had spent the night in his bed with him. That put a different twist on things. So I chose the safe road and kept my feelings to myself. "Don't remember." "Oh, okay then. If you do I'll listen," he told me softly, almost too soft to hear. I grunted my assent and went back to watching cartoons. Caelum As always, morning came too soon for my liking. As my mind slowly became more alive, I became aware of a warm body in my arms. Over the years, Ci had climbed into my bed on numerous occasions, but this wasn't the small, soft body of my sister. This body was lean, warm, and hard and seemed to fit perfectly in my arms. My face was buried in a mass of hair that tickled, and my lips were touching the back of a smooth, soft neck. I pulled back slowly, unwrapping my arms from around Zane. After turning on the light, I surveyed the sight that had been lying in my arms. He was turned on his side; facing the other bed, his face relaxed in slumber. The shirt he was wearing had risen up, exposing the creamy skin of his stomach. I probably would have lay there forever, watching him, if he hadn't made a small movement in his sleep that jolted me back to reality. Sighing, I forced myself out of the bed and into the living room, away from the temptation still asleep on my bed. On my way, I noticed Anthony and Ci, curled up together, arms and legs entangled. Both had a thing for each other, but neither would admit it. I lay on my couch, watching cartoons for around an hour before I heard someone stirring in the bedroom. I turned and looked over my shoulder to see Zane push back the covers and climb off the bed. Startled, I turned back to the TV, keeping my eyes planted firmly there as he walked into the living room. "Morning," I said, stilling staring desperately at the screen. "Uhg," he answered. I stifled a laugh as he went into the bathroom. Obviously wasn't a morning person either. "Sleep well?" I heard myself asking him. I wanted to see if he knew I had held him while we slept; to see if he would say anything. "Pretty good. Was really tired." I couldn't tell if he was hiding something or not so I decided to change the subject. "Me too," I told him. "What were you going to tell me last night, before Ci and A came back?" There was silence for a few moments, and I could feel his eyes on me. I wondered what he was thinking. "Don't remember," he told me. "Oh, okay then. If you do, I'll listen," I said softly, turning to look at him. Zane only grunted and kept watching cartoons. Zane The night I spent in Cae's bed was pushed to the back of my mind as the day of the first swim meet approached. I found myself too stressed over being a starting swimmer to even think about the way I had felt that night. Everyone kept telling me that I had nothing to worry about, but I still couldn't relax. The day of the meet, dawn came completely opposite of my mood. The sun was shining brightly, and there were no clouds in the sky. Morning practice had gone by smoothly with Medun and Henderson giving us the "do your best" speech before sending us off to class. "You'll do great," Ci whispered to me as she paused by my locker. Her curly hair was pulled back from her face, making her grey eyes look larger than normal. "Anthony says you're one of the best swimmers on the team. And he should know, considering he's the captain." "I know. I'm just scared. I didn't think I'd make starting line. I'm the new guy, and it's not supposed to work that way." She only laughed and threaded her arm through mine as I walked her to class. The end of the school day came too quickly for my taste, and I found myself in the locker room getting ready before I knew it. I was surprised to find the room somewhat silent. Some part of me thought that the team would be rambunctious and rowdy, trying to cheer each other on. Instead, everyone was subdued and quiet, immersed in their own personal thoughts, fighting with their own fears of what was to come. We all changed quickly and made our way to the pool for warm- ups. I could see the stands filling with spectators, and a shudder of fear swept through me as I remembered that a lot of people would be watching this meet. I had asked Ci to be there, and I could see her sitting high in the stands waving at me. I waved back. A few days before, I had even worked up the courage to ask Cae to be there. I had been nervous, my stomach knotted by the future meet and by the prospect of having Cae there. I had been surprised when he said yes. More than surprised. Now I stood scanning the crowd for any sign of him, but I couldn't see him. He probably wasn't coming. We were going against our rival school, and every year it was a toss up for which one would win the championship. Of course, we were rooting that it would be us this year, but I was sure that the other team was thinking the same thing. The categories were called as well as who would be competing in them. I started when my name was called for the free style, I hadn't been prepared to hear it over the speakers, and the sound of it brought reality crashing down on me. There was no way I was good enough to win, no matter what Anthony and Ci thought. I hadn't swum competitively for years, and I didn't think I was ready to start it back up now. But I had no choice, I was here, and there was no way to back out now. My race was third, and the first was getting ready to start. The other team took the butterfly, and I could hear the soft groans from my team-mates as Jamie, our swimmer, dragged himself out of the water to sit dejectedly on the bench. Anthony handed him a towel and sat beside him, speaking soft words of comfort. My attention was captured by the call for all backstroke swimmers to enter the pool. I watched as Rich lowered himself into the water. He dunked his goggles and then himself. I stared in amazement at the sight before me. I was always so desperate not to look at the others while we were changing lest I give away my secret. Now, staring at the rivulets of water sliding down the muscles of Rich's chest, I wish I had looked, because a Speedo doesn't hide anything. When his race began, I looked away, hoping my erection would subside some before I was called up. Thankfully, it did, and when the free style was called I was able to stand without embarrassment. I stepped up on the diving block, goggles snug and ears straining for the first shrill sound of the whistle. A sudden urge made me look up, and I could see Cae sitting in the stands staring at me with those intense eyes. A shiver racked my body as that gaze seemed to sweep over me, but I passed the look off as my imagination. When the whistle sounded, I arched my body through the air and sliced into the water cleanly. As soon as the water closed over my head I became lost in the world of water, a place where only I exist in the weightless environment that cradles and smothers. But breathing was the farthest thing from my mind. All I knew, all that mattered, was me and the water, was the way my body slid through, the way it caressed. When I reached the far wall, I flipped and pushed off, heading back the way I had come. I heard nothing when I surfaced for the occasional gasp of air. I saw nothing but the water and the far end. I knew nothing. My hand hit the wall with an audible smack, and I broke the surface gasping. And there was silence. I didn't understand it at first, not until I turned and looked to see I had beaten everyone else by a fair distance. The silence was broken by a loud cheer and the sudden sound of dozens of hands clapping. I hauled myself out of the pool and made my way, on shaky legs, to where my team-mates sat, identical stunned expressions on their faces. Ci was grinning widely up in the stands, screaming at the top of her lungs, and Cae was staring at me still, but now his look was assessing, questioning. The rest of the meet went by quickly and smoothly, the rest of the team energized by my performance. Where they had been quiet before, they were now loud and happy, it was as if someone had cranked the volume up on a stereo. Everyone was laughing and congratulating each other, or giving tips on where there could be improvement. And everyone one was congratulating me. It felt strange, but it let me know that I was a welcome addition to the team. Caelum Somehow, I managed to patch things up between Ci and myself. It took a lot of pleading, begging, and even tears, but eventually she forgave me after telling me exactly what she thought of my behaviour. I was so beyond happy that Zane's constant presence at our house no longer bothered me. Or at least it didn't bother me as much. It actually became a comfort, albeit a painful one, to see him everyday in my room, stretched out on Ci's bed. I had decided that if I couldn't have him I could at least have him near. As the date of the first swim meet approached I noticed a new tension in him. "Will you sit down?!" I finally snapped as his pacing began to grate on my nerves. He had been moving back and forth across the room for half an hour, and it was beginning to get to me. "Sorry, can't help it," Zane apologized as he flopped down on the couch. There was a moment of stillness before his hand began to twitch, and he shot to his feet again. I sighed and tried to focus on the screen, but the sound of Zane's motions was just too distracting. "Zane!" I finally shouted. He stopped and stared at me, his green eyes full of shock. "Sit! Down! NOW!" He sank slowly down this time, his body easing down on the cushions. The tension in his body seemed to radiate out into the room, and I could feel the waves of it from where I sat. I knew something more than the swim meet was bothering him, but I doubted he would share whatever was wrong with me. As often as he was over, he always seemed to avoid me, not as if he was repulsed by me, but rather as if he was afraid. Since I had met him, Zane had spoken few words to me. As much as his distance bothered me, I let it be, content to just have him near. This time though, I couldn't take it, something was eating him up inside, and it was tearing me up. "What the hell is wrong with you today?" I demanded. Zane just continued to stare at me. I sighed and tried again, "You can talk to me, you know. I don't bite." The shock left his face as a small smile crossed his lips. "Sorry, I'm just a little jumpy about Thursday." "You'll do fine. Anthony says you're one of the best they have." I looked closer at him. "That's not the only thing bothering you, is it?" There was silence for a moment as he stared at the space between his feet and when he finally did speak it was so low I had to strain to hear him. "I. . ." he started, his voice trailing off at the end. Taking a deep breath, he began again, "I was wondering if you'd come watch the meet. I need all the support I can get." I didn't laugh at his joke but studied him for a moment. His face was a little red, and his hands were clenched tight together, as if he was afraid I would say no. He still hadn't looked up from the floor, and I knew he wouldn't until I answered. "Yes," I told him, "I'll be there." All the tension seemed to flow out of him for a moment, and he slouched down on the couch. Then, as he remembered why he had asked me, he stiffened again and sighed. Thursday approached quickly, and I could see the stress in all the guys. Good-natured Jeff even snapped once at his love, Rick. It was always like this, but neither of them ever took it seriously. The swim meets always took place after school, and this one was at our school and against our rivals, St. Marks. I arrived late at the pool, but I was in time to watch Rich pull himself out of the pool and hear Zane's name called over the system. I watched as he made his way over to the starting blocks; that black scrap of material generously called a bathing suit moulded to his ass. After adjusting his goggles, he glanced around the crowded room. His eyes stopped on me for a moment before he turned back to look out at the water in front of him. The whistle sounded loud and clear, echoing through the room and before the first of it faded all the swimmers were in the water. Zane slid through the water and gained a good lead on the other swimmers. The lean sleekness of his body gave him an advantage, and I could tell the water was his element. When he reached the wall, he did an underwater flip and used the wall for leverage, giving himself an extra rush of speed. He was halfway back across the pool as the rest hit the far wall, and he reached the finish before they made it half way. He rose out of the water with a loud gasp for air and was rewarded by a stunned silence. No one had ever swum like that in the history of our school. Whether he knew it or not, Zane was a new school hero. The rest of the meet went by quickly, our team winning over St. Marks. Zane A few weeks passed, as did my embarrassment at my newfound popularity, and one day at Lucas', Ci announced, in that disarming way of hers, that we were playing Secret Santa this year. The guys groaned and tried to bargain their way out of it, but Ci, like always, was set in her decision. "It's gonna be different this year. There will be two presents per person. One will be whatever you want, a gag gift or the real thing. The second has to be a meaningful present. We'll draw names and exchange the gifts at Mom's Christmas party, okay?" Ci smiled at everyone before pushing to her feet and heading out the door. "Shit, she gone done it again!" exclaimed Rich with a laugh. Two days later, we were gathered together at Ci and Cae's house to pick the names. One by one we drew the small pieces of paper out of a bowl and read the names silently to ourselves. I wasn't sure if I should have been relieved or disappointed when I didn't draw Cae's name. Part of me was glad that I hadn't. I didn't want the task of trying to buy a present for the person I had a crush on. At the same time, I would have loved to have given him something meaningful, even if he wouldn't understand the meaning behind such a gift, but I had pulled Rick's name instead. I had no problem thinking of a gag gift to get him, but I had no clue what the other gift should be. Finally, I gave up and asked Ci. "What do I get him?" I begged, "I don't know him well enough to pick out a thoughtful gift." "You have three weeks to think of something. That gives you time to find out what he likes," Ci stated. "Watch him, pay attention, and you just might find out." It was at that point that I decided I hate Secret Santa.