So someone mentioned that I should write something to express myself. For those of you who don't know I am the author of Three Simple Words, and I had a short hiatus. This story, or letter, will probably explain a bit why.
But regardless, this isn't a rant, nor your typical "story." It's just something to get off my chest. So keep this in mind, this is raw, meaning no editing has been down to this.
That means, there's probably a lot of grammar mistakes, lots of improper sentence structures, stuff that don't make sense, etc etc.
But regardless, this was written a while back (Thursday if I remember correctly), so not even I know where the mistakes might be lol.
So, be nice to me, and please, don't pry too much into my personal life. If you ask, I'll give you a generic version of the story because it's really, really, really complicated.
Note. The name has been completely changed to protect his identity. But quite honestly, I doubt any of you guys know him, and he's straight, so I doubt he'll be reading this. But nonetheless, name's been changed. Also, don't steal from me >:(
Note-note. I decided to put this in the high school section because my other story's here, so it'll be easier to find in case you were curious. And this whole thing did technically start during high school.
So without further ado...
Here I am, staring out the window on this somber, melancholy day. It's cloudy, yet the sun is attempting its best to penetrate though this thick, smoggy mess. Being as it is winter, the trees are bare, exposing it's naked wooden pricks. But that's not why I'm here. No... I'm here for something much greater.
Some may call me crazy; I call myself blind. Blind that I couldn't see it sooner. It was a day much today: gray, distant, and opaque. I was simply walking down to class, when I heard your voice. Knowing it was you, I turned. Big mistake... It was as if Cupid shot an arrow through my heart for the second time in my life. With butterflies soaring across my body, I controlled my emotions and passed by, unnoticed thank god. But from that day forth, that poison of an image will forever be imprinted in my mind.
Your hair... simply divine. How I longed to stroke every last strand of its dark, silky complex... Your eyes... its stare alone was able to melt my icy, solid heart... it still does to this day. Your lips... Oh those plump, scarlet lips of yours... How I fantasized greeting them with my own. And whenever you smiled. Well, let's just say that all my troubles floated away for that brief moment. Your body though... simply amazing. Defined, yet not bulky, exactly what I loved in a man. To describe everything in one word... perfect.
But it wasn't just you're appearance, even though that alone was more than enough. Reflecting on my past, you also shared the same personality with the person I've always wanted. You always were a bright boy, intelligent in fact- Hell, you always were smarter than me. Your nature was unique to you, and only you. It defined you for what you are today as a loyal, caring, and faithful individual.
But what stole my heart away overshadows everything I stated above... Your innocence. You always were clumsy... attempting to be an artist, trying to be well coordinated, trying to act cool amongst our peers... only to crash and burn and make a fuss about it at times. To this day, your actions still make me smile.
But with innocence comes corruption. I resolved to protect you -to shield you- from the dark despairs of life. Even if it killed me, I was determined to take any blow, just to see you flash that pure, flawless smile of yours. Because that alone, gave me the strength to continue...
Now enough of you being the impeccable human being you are. Let's retrace our steps back to me. What most people don't tell explain is what happens after the arrow's been shot. It doesn't just magically disappear. No... it stays and morphs into the true miserable form as it ever so slowly pierces one's heart. Every time it sinks deeper into the fragile, delicate heart, the pain of despair, misery, and regret follow close behind.
Just when matters can't get any worse, one realizes that he cannot simply remove the arrow. Nay, only the warm and comfort of your love can truly remove the blasphemy otherwise known as pain and create the barrier needed around your heart otherwise known as love. But that was never meant to be...
After months of planning and consideration, I've finally managed to muster the courage I needed to confess my feelings for you. But only what?... To be shot down.
"I'm sorry... I just don't see you that way."
Those very words struck me hard... All those years of promises, dreams, and desires... shattered. All those imaginations of strolling hand in hand by the beach...fragmented... All those times where I prayed and beg myself to just ask you out while crying myself to sleep... destroyed. But worst of all, those years aspiring to cuddle with you in bed -to cover you from danger... gone.
It was as if the black needle punctured right through my heart and all feelings burst out the openings. Now, all I feel is nothing. Like a lifeless machine, everyday from then on felt like a routine. No more... no less... I tried to cry; I tried to mourn but... nothing. Not even a sniffle...
I guess in the end, it wasn't about me, but rather, about you Tyler. Ever since day one, the very revelation was to see you be happy, with or without me. Some might call me an idiot; some might call me conceded. Me? I call it realistic.
Your eyes still melt my heart, and your smile still makes me turn into goo. But I respect your answer. I have decided to let go of my wings and soar high into sky. Never again, will Cupid's arrow hinder me from reaching my full potential. Never again will I mourn for the loss that I had.
So thank you Tyler, for being completely honest with me. You will always have a special place in my heart. (I love you).
Feel free to email me about my other story. firstname.lastname@example.org and as always, donate.