Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003 17:06:17 EDT
From: JoKeRBiTeS@aol.com
Subject: Depression Takes Over Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This story contains sexual contact between two guys. If you are
under aged or find it offensive, then please do not complain and move
on. This story is based on mostly fiction but does have some non-fiction
parts in it as well, some of them personally to me. The names have been
changed throughout the entire story. This story is copywritted by Joe 2003.

Depression Takes Over By Joe

Chapter 2

"Come out here now Robert"

"I'm coming mom..." Oh no, well, I guess it is now or never. I guess I had
to come out to them sometime. I sort of wanted them to have a hint about me
before I told them, so it wasn't that big of a shock. Not knowing how, I
find myself opening the door and walking into my living room, where I see
my mom sitting on the couch waiting for me to go in there. I sit down on
the couch next to her.

"So how was your day today son?" Right then and there, I knew what her main
point was. She never asked me how my day at school was since the 4th grade,
even though it was the first day back.

"Uh, fine I guess, just another stupid year"

"Robert, is there something you want to tell me?" Damn, just the one line I
did not want to hear. She wanted me to start the whole thing. I am not
great talking to my parents face to face about personal things. Just
telling them in general got me nervous. With being gay, I can talk to my
friends in person, but not my own parents.

"Not that I think of, why do you ask?" Great, now she will say that I lied
to her.

"Well, when I came home from work I went by your door and I noticed it was
locked and then..."

"Ok fine! I am gay!" There, I said it, as cliche as that sounds that I
finally said it. I must say, I didn't feel any relief when I first said
it. I just got more nervous then ever. My mom was very religious and was
against the whole "homosexual" thing.

"Wh-Wha-WHAT?!" Wait a second, why is she shocked, she heard me screaming a
guys name in a moaning voice. There is no reason for her to act dumb.

"Where did that come from?! I was just going to say that I went by your
door and I noticed it was locked and then I listened in and it was silent,
but you snore when you sleep, so I knew you weren't sleeping." She said to
me as I was about to into a coma from shock. I cannot believe it; I just
said I was gay when she wasn't even thinking that, great.  "So Rob" she
says in a not so happy voice, but I could hear in her voice she was trying
to keep her yelling inside. "...What you said before, are you telling the
truth?"

"Would I have said it if I was lying?" I said as my head was down looking
at my shoes.

"So, you are gay, my one son that I have, turns gay"

	I start to build up anger inside of me, and I can feel it, and how
badly it wants to come out. I then noticed that my sister walks into the
living room and stands there behind my mom. My sister knew I had to do this
on my own. I think she stood there to make it look like she was giving me
support, or to make it look like she was on my side no matter what, but it
just got me more nervous.

"Yes, mom I am gay, I am sorry"

"SORRY? Wow, don't even bother, I don't know what to think"

	I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let out all my feeling that I
have held inside me for the past few years.

"Mom, if you didn't know I was gay, you would think of me the same." Whew,
so far I am calm. "You don't know how much shit you put me through since I
knew I was gay. All those times you made fun of gay people on TV and
calling them faggots right in front of me. You cannot even begin to imagine
how it made me feel, and how useless it made me feel. To think, that my own
mom, hated a part of me, but I sort of figured that it is only a small
part, and that you would get over it. So now, tell me, are you going to
accept the way I am, or totally block me out" Wow, I cannot believe I stood
somewhat calm, and said the things I said.

	There was a very long silence, it felt about five hours long, but I
kept looking at the clock and saw it was only about two minutes after until
she spoke.

"Rob, I just wanted to have a son, and see him grow up and have a
girlfriend, get married and have kids. I tried so hard to raise you, and
this is how you thank me"

"I never asked for you to fucking raise me mom! I am just so sorry if I was
just a job for you, sorry to be in the fucking way" I said in a sarcastic
way, I then got up, ran into my room and locked the door. I jumped on my
bed, went under the covers, and put my face on my pillow. I heard my mom
banging on the door, but after about five minutes, it stopped.

	I just kept laying there, thinking about what happened, and then it
hit me. I went through all of that with my mom, I am still yet to tell my
dad. I wasn't really sure what to think about my mom reacting to it, she
was mad, I could tell by the things she said, but she wasn't screaming at
the top of her voice, it was odd.

	I noticed that I ended up falling asleep. When I was actually awake
enough to see, I looked out the window to see that my dad came home while I
was sleeping. I knew I had to just leave my room, but I didn't want to. I
was so tempted to call up my friend Nicole, and tell her what happened, and
maybe leave the house, but I know I would just have to come back into this
house again. So I decided to get this over with. At this point, I didn't
care what they thought of me. If they hated me, then that would be the way
it would be. If they accepted be in the long run for whom I am, then
great. I walked out and into the kitchen where my parents were talking
about me.

"So..." was the only thing I was able to speak so far.

"Don't come in here", my dad very unhappily said. I have had grudges
against my father for quite sometime. I know other people have worse then
me, and I feel bad to say this but I still feel it. He does mean well,
which I hate to say, but he is not the greatest person to be around when he
gets the littlest temper. Everything has to be his way, and nothing
else. Everything always has to be planned out with him, or else he would be
mad forever. I have always wanted to let him know what I thought about him,
so in a way, I wanted him to be mad at me, in that case I could let it all
out.

"No, dad. If we are ever going to talk about this, let it be now."

"Robert, get the hell away from me right now."

"Oh that's good of you dad, just running away from what needs to be
done. Sorry that this shit wasn't fucking planned on your notes, but oh
well"

"Robert, please do not start with your father, you know how he gets and he
will just take it out on me later" my mom whispered into my ear as she went
up to get a cigarette. Which is very true, he lets all his shit out on my
mom. By that, I do not mean hitting her. He blames all the problems in his
life on her. I feel so bad for my mom. I always wondered why they stayed
together. I thought it was because they were very religious. Yet, a few
weeks ago, my sister told me how both of my parents have been married
before, and divorced. I was shocked to hear this, that my parents told her
and never told me, and what was even more shocking was my parents told her
when she was nine. I was now 15, and they never mentioned it to me.

"Mom, it has to be done, I can't stand his bullshit anymore" Which I said a
little bit louder then I had expected.

"Robert! What are you talking about my fucking bullshit! All I have ever
done for this family was for all of you, and this is what you have to say
for all I have done for you. I don't want to see your face, get the fuck
away from me."

"Dad..." as I walk up to him in the face. "Fuck You" I then turned around
walking, smiling inside and feeling so good. All the torment I put up with,
my dad now felt, only slightly different. I was happy he was mad, and I
couldn't be happier, but I was nervous for my mom.

	I then started to think about my mom, and her whole reaction. I
know my dad hates that I am gay, but my mom was being actually nice to
me. Maybe she was just in shock when I first told her? Did she end up
accepting me? I didn't know the answers for these questions but I was still
wondering.

	About an hour or two from being on my computer, talking to friends
on AIM, I heard my mom calling me saying dinner was ready. I was so happy,
because I was starving. My dad just gave me a dirty look but my mom was
smiling. I was a bit confused, but my stomach just wanted food, so I ate
like I never ate before, until I heard my dad talking.

"Robert, I am not happy that you are the way you are, but I cant get around
it, and I am not sure if I can ever get used to it, but just don't do
anything in front of me or mention it to anyone. I do not need people to
know that I have a gay son. We just have to get used to it, because you
have to live here, understood?"

"Whatever" I said. I didn't care what my dad thought. I looked over to my
mom and she was in a bad mood with this entire thing happening, but I
really wanted to know how she felt through all this. So after dinner, I
called her into the living room. She sat down next to me.

"Yes Robert?" she said in a soothing voice.

"Are you mad at me, or do you accept me. I am a little confused."

"I was a little shocked at first, and I am so sorry, but I accept you. I
know I have made fun of gay people in the past, and I couldn't even imagine
how I made you feel. I will stop, and even though I do not think it is the
greatest thing, I still love you."

"Thanks mom. What about dad, I can't stand him."

"I don't know. We will worry about that a little later. Give this whole
thing a couple of days first, then we will see how he is then, alright?"

"Okay"

	That night, before I ended up going to sleep, I was glad today was
over. The whole thing with my parents was a little behind me and I started
to really think about Kevin again. Why did he give me the finger on the
bus? Is he mad at me? I couldn't find a solution; I needed to find out what
happened.

	The next day, I walked into school, as the second day started. The
day was just a normal day until I ended up seeing Kevin again. I gave him a
dirty look and he saw that, and he had a confused look on his face. I
figured by just giving him faces, I wont get any answers, so I must talk to
him about it.

	I walked into 9th period, and saw Kevin looking cute as ever with
his head down just looking mad or maybe just tired. I wasn't sure if I
should really go over to him. He might get mad at me because he is in a bad
mood or something, but I knew I had to do it sometime. I decided to go over
to him and question him.

"What have I ever done to you?" I said in a mad voice. He looked up at me
with a puzzled look on his face. His face was just so cute. His lips were
so luscious that I wanted to kiss him right then and there. His eyes were
looking right into mine. It was such a good feeling. Then I remembered why
I was here.

	 There was an awkward silence between us and he was just sitting
there. I didn't know what to think anymore. I felt sweat building up on my
forehead. Did he know what I was talking about? Was he already in a bad
mood and I was making it worse? I was confused by the look on his face.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just want to thank my friend for re-reading this for me :). You know who
you are. Go Pandas!

Sorry, I know this story isn't much, but I promise the next chapter will
have more about Roberts trouble with Kevin. Please feel free to send me
your comments to Jokerbites@aol.com. I will answer and read any mail you
send. I appreciate any comments on this story thus far. I appreciate
positive, or negative comments, but am honest. If you have any questions,
maybe I could answer them in your mail, but none about what will happen
next, thank you everyone for reading this story. There will be many more
chapters to come.