Derek & I
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There were acres of turning space for large trucks on the northern side of the bridge tunnel but very little on the southern end. The southern island of the complex had to be constructed larger so it could be used as a heavy truck turnaround since there was not enough open land where tolls were paid by northbound traffic. If a truck was over height, one of the special bridge police cars would escort the tractor and trailer to the turnaround. Trucks were not permitted to park on the island but there were several parking places for small pickups and automobiles so tourists and locals could use the rest stop facilities, restaurant, gift shop and fishing pier. The sun was shining brilliantly but I could feel a brisk breeze that was blowing across the water when we got out of the truck. While Derek walked to the rear of the truck I unzipped one of our bags and pulled out his jacket and mine.
“Here.” I said, tossing his to him. “We might need these if we’re going to walk out on the pier.”
“Are you still mad at me?” He asked as he slipped into his jacket and zipped it up.
“Christ, no, Derek.” I said as I zipped my jacket shut half way. “I’m not mad at you but we better get to that restroom before I piss my pants.”
We walked shoulder to shoulder towards several small buildings where the restrooms were located with the other facilities.
* * * * * * * * * *
Normally on Sunday afternoons the bridge traffic was pretty heavy but the restroom was empty when Derek and I used it. Not unlike most public facilities it reeked of antiseptic. The urinals were divided by half walls that did very little to insure the privacy of the user and there was the usual graffiti written on the walls in front as well as on the half walls. Unless you were blind, you couldn’t help but read it while you were taking a leak and some of it was obscenely amusing.
One of the writings on the wall of the urinal I was using said “for a good time and the best sex you’ve ever had call Charlie at 663-9899 so we can meet. I’ve got a hard nine inch cock waiting for you.”
“Derek, have you ever seen a nine inch cock?” I asked grinning at him.
“Hell, no.” He answered with a puzzled look on his face. “Have you?”
“No, but if we call Charlie we might.” I said still grinning while I milked the last drops of urine from my cock.
“Charlie, Charlie who? What are you talking about Larry?”
“Look at this.” I said stepping back and nodding at the half wall between us as I zipped up my fly.
Derek moved around the wall and looking at it he laughed. “Do you really think that’s true? If someone is dumb enough to call that number there might be cops or some nut waiting for them.”
“There wouldn’t be any cops, that’s entrapment but you might be right about the nut. What about that drink, you still thirsty?”
“Yes, and for your information Larry Marks what you have is more than enough for me. I’m not looking for anyone else, nine inches or otherwise.”
“Ditto lover. Lets get that drink and take a walk on the pier.” I said quietly.
There was a lady with a grandmotherly look behind the counter when we walked into the restaurant. The air was filled with the aroma of grilled hamburgers and onion that combined with the different odors of scented candles and incense in the gift shop.
“What can I get you youngsters?” She asked.
“Just a couple of medium Cokes.” We said at the same time except Derek said "Pepsi."
“I guess you want one Coke and a Pepsi.” She answered with an amused twinkle in her eyes.
“That will be fine ma’am.” I answered for us.
“Okay, two drinks coming up. Are you sure you don’t want a hamburger or maybe a hot dog to go along with’em?”
“No ma’am, just the drinks. It hasn’t been that long since we ate breakfast.” Derek answered glancing at me.
The grandmotherly lady filled two over-iced cups with our order and, capping them, handed the drinks to us with straws.
After I paid for the drinks, I followed Derek into the gift shop where he was looking over the high priced tourist junk. He spotted what looked like a piece of rough marble with two wires imbedded in it and miniature seagulls attached to the wires to give the impression they were flying.
He turned it over and showed me the price tag on the bottom, ten dollars.
“That’s to much D. It’s not worth half that.” I said.
“I know it is but I want it.” He said looking at me with a glint in his eyes. “I’ll pay for it.”
“What do you want that thing for?” I asked as he placed it on the counter with a ten-dollar bill.
“That’s a secret.” He said
“It’s ten dollars and forty-five cents with the tax, Sir. ” The lady behind the counter said.
I put two quarters on the counter while she was looking for a box to put the flying seagulls sculpture in so the wires wouldn’t bend. She put the box containing the sculpture in a plastic bag emblazoned with Gift Shop, Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel and handed it to Derek saying, “Thanks and have a good day.”
I picked the nickel up from where she had placed it on the counter and smiled, “You have a good one too.”
Derek was waiting for me outside the Gift Shop holding the bag in one hand and sucking on the straw of his drink in the other.
“Do you want to put that in the truck first?” I asked, indicating the bag.
“It’ll be okay but I’m glad we wore our jackets. It’s a little cool out here on the water.”
He was right. Even though the sun was shining, I could feel the cool breeze coming across the water on my bare legs. “The principle of air-conditioning.” I thought to myself as we walked. “Air over water is always cool.”
The fishing pier was maybe three hundred feet long with wooden benches spaced every twenty feet or so. There were several people fishing off of the pier and when we approached they glanced at us briefly before returning to watching what they were doing.
There was an older couple at one of the benches and the lady was sitting on the bench trying to put what looked like a worm on her hook. She looked up from what she was doing for a moment and smiling said, “Good morning.”
“Good morning ma’am.” Derek answered. “Catching anything?”
“Only a couple of croaker and spot.” She answered.
“Too damn many boats scaring the fish away.” Her companion growled over his shoulder.”
“Maybe it will get better.” Derek answered cheerfully.
The lady just smiled but we heard the man growl, “Maybe.”
In that instant I knew one of the reasons I liked Derek. Paul would have said much the same thing to complete strangers and offer a word of encouragement even though he knew he might never see them again. I wasn’t anti-social but I had difficulty talking to people I didn’t know. Derek like Paul was able to strike up a brief conversation on the spur of the moment.
Our earlier disagreement seemed to have been forgotten as he walked beside me swinging his bag with one hand and sucking on the straw stuck in his drink. His thick hair glinted in the sunlight like burnished bronze as the soft breeze blew through it. When he glanced at me, he smiled radiantly and his azure blue eyes sparkled. Paul had told me to “be happy” and I knew in my heart I could never be happier than I was with Derek beside me.
We reached the end of the pier and instead of sitting on the bench I leaned out over the railing looking down at the gray-green water rolling under the pier. Derek set the bag containing the sculpture on the bench and placing his forearms on the railing; holding his drink between his hands he leaned over the railing with me. We didn’t say anything for a few minutes and just as I was about to speak, he beat me to it.
“Larry, can you forgive me for the way I acted in the truck? I didn’t mean what I said, I was just being childish that’s all.” He said almost in a whisper.
I turned my head, looking at him and thinking before I answered. I wanted to be sure that what I said made sense to him and me.
“I think we both acted a little foolish Derek. We were talking and not thinking about what we were saying. That’s one of the problems we have to resolve; it comes from not really knowing each other that well. At least not yet.”
“You’re right, we hardly know each other at all. All we really know is that we like sex with each other. All of this past week I have thought of nothing but having sex with you again.” He said laughing softly. “I guess we made up for it this weekend.”
“We sort of went at it with a vengeance didn’t we?” I said, smiling sheepishly and chuckling as I said it.
“Then you aren’t mad at me?”
“I’ve never been mad with you Derek. In fact, I was mad at myself for not asking you what you wanted to do. I made it sound as if I couldn’t wait to get to the motel for sex when I was actually thinking about something entirely different.” I said as I watched the waves rolling beneath us.
He rolled his drink between his hands for a minute and then removing the plastic cap he emptied the ice and what was left of his Pepsi into the water. Replacing the cap, he turned sideways leaning on the railing with one elbow. “Let’s sit down and then you can tell me what you were thinking.” He said grinning softly at me.
I followed his lead and emptied the rest of my drink as he had before sitting down with him. Seagulls were drifting overhead and we both watched a large container ship heading out to sea pass between the islands connecting the south tunnel. I felt the warmth of his thigh pressing against mine and a surge of feelings swept over me.
“How can I think with you sitting so close to me?” I said teasing him.
He started to move and I placed my hand on his leg. “No, don’t. I like you being close to me.” I said, squeezing his thigh.
“Me too.” He answered, placing his hand on top of mine.
He gazed at me and I could feel myself being drawn into the warm innocent depths of his shining blue eyes. My heart skipped a beat and I breathed in deeply trying to think before telling him what I was feeling and thinking.
“I’m not sure exactly where to start Derek but I guess it goes back to when we met. You said before that all you had thought of was us having sex again. I’m guilty of that myself but I was thinking of how we met while I was driving and you were asleep. I’ve cruised guys before and had sex with them but not like we did. You told me about how guys picked you up and they sucked you off and that was all. I guess I was thinking pretty much the same thing until you stripped naked. You blew my mind when you did that and I wanted you so bad I stripped too. I’ve never done that before, not in the truck. The only guy who ever saw me naked was Eddie Carper and I’ve told you about him.” I said hesitating while I caught my breath.
“No one has seen me naked except you.” He said while gently rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
“I guess that makes us both virgins in at least one sense. I have never been fucked and I haven’t fucked anyone else but I’ve never been with anyone that I wanted more than you Derek and I don’t mean just to fuck you. I want more from you then just sex. I told you I love you and that’s the truth. I started falling in love with you almost from the instant we met and I can’t tell you why I feel that way but I do. I’m not even sure what feeling in love is like except I have this feeling that you and I were meant to be together. It sounds crazy I guess unless you believe in fate, Kismet or what ever you want to call it.”
“Whatever it is Larry, I guess I’ve been confusing sex and feelings. I know sex and feelings go together but deep inside of me I’ve been feeling something different while we have been together, a feeling that I don’t want to ever be apart from you. If that’s love, then I love you but no one has ever told me they love me at least not like you have. Some guys have told me how much they loved my cock and wanted to get me in bed but that’s not the same as loving everything about someone.” He said, stopping to take a deep breath before continuing. “I kind of got my wires crossed when I thought we were going to the motel and suddenly you changed your mind. I wanted the sex and I wasn’t thinking about things like you have been telling me. I got a little jealous about your brother and I was thinking that if you really wanted me more, you wouldn’t be thinking about him.”
“I won’t ever stop thinking about Paul, Derek. I loved him but I never really told him I did but now it is too late. We were brothers and I guess like most brothers, I took it for granted he knew I loved him. We did things together like most brothers and when he caught me jerking off he taught me how it should be done instead of making fun of my puny dick and me. Paul was almost as big as that guy Charlie who wrote on the bathroom wall that he had nine inches. Paul and I jerked off together lots of times and I loved watching him beating his meat but love never was a part of it. I loved Paul, Derek not what we did together. I enjoyed that and the hardest thing for me was I knew I was gay and as much as I wanted to touch him, I never would have. Seeing Paul naked with a hardon and jerking off in front of me drove me crazy but there was something inside of me that that told me brothers do not have sex together. Knowing that and being afraid he would think I was a faggot and not want anything to do with me.”
“I didn’t mean I was trying to replace Paul. I know no one could ever do that. Part of what was bothering me was thinking that you were thinking about or comparing me with Paul. I don’t think I could handle that Larry.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to Derek and I wouldn’t do that to you. I may have wanted to have sex with Paul but I’d never compare you with him; at least not while we were making love.” I said softly as I turned my hand over and entwined his fingers with mine. “ I’ll never stop loving Paul, Derek. No one stops loving his or her brother and I don’t think you would either if you had one. Besides sex, there are little things you do that remind me of him. You reminded me of him a few minutes ago when you spoke with that couple fishing. That is the way Paul was, he could talk with anyone on just about anything and make him or her feel good. He did that with everyone, no one I knew disliked him. Maybe that is one of the reasons I was attracted to you Derek. You have the same charisma as Paul. Like him, you cause people to want to be with you. That’s the way I feel about you, I love you and want to be with you. ”
We sat quietly for several minutes holding hands but not looking at each other. The day had turned considerably warmer and when I pulled my hand from his he turned and looked directly at me.
“It’s getting a little warm for a jacket.” I said, taking mine off.
Derek didn’t say anything while he removed his jacket. He laid it with mine and looked down the pier before turning and kissing me.
I leaned back, surprised at first and a little voice in my head said, “Oh what the hell can they do.”
Putting my arm around his shoulders I pulled him close and whispered softly “I love you Derek Kingsley.” His eyes grew wide and then turning towards me he put his arms around me and he opened his lips slightly as I placed mine on his. I felt fire shooting through my veins and his body melded to mine as our tongues twisted and searched.
When we broke the kiss he didn’t move from my arms except to lean his head back a little. His eyes sparkled and a smile played at the corners of his mouth.
“That is pretty much a public commitment kissing in the open so God and country can see.” He said looking into my eyes.
“There is nothing wrong with it. Other people that are in love kiss in public.”
“Yeah but they aren’t gay?” He said chuckling lightly. “At least most of them aren’t.”
“I couldn’t care less if the entire world knows I love you.” I said lowering my head and brushing our lips together before whispering, “It’s not that far to the motel.”
He looked at me for a second and grinned. “Just be sure that’s what you want Larry. That’s all I ask.”
“Here.” I said handing him his jacket as we stood up. “We might need these walking back down the pier unless you want to advertise.”
* * * * * * * * * *
We threw the empty cups in the trashcan before walking to where the truck was parked. It was less than a twenty-minute drive before I parked in front of our room at the El Camino.