Date: Sun, 19 Apr 1998 12:29:34 -0300
From: rd3b@traveller.com
Subject: Peeper/By: Martin Miller

April 19, 1998

Peeper
By: Martin Miller

	When I was sixteen, I was dealing with my sexuality in a big way.
I'd been in love with Kent, and had crushes on half a dozen air force guys
that had come to my neighborhood a couple years earlier. They were all
involved with one another in some sexual undercurrent that had them
relating to one another with their dicks in their hands hoping for a way to
get them serviced while doing as little as necessary in return.
	I know that is an exaggeration, but until the air force boys came
from Rhine Main Air Force Base in Germany, there was no sex in my little
country town. That could be an exaggeration as well, but that's the way it
seemed to me at the time. The air force base had always been there as far
as I knew. We just never knew anyone from over there.  Then, new runways
were installed, and the Westminster Estates appeared. At first it was a
single row of ranch style homes, and then a second row, and a third, and
then the base school was no longer big enough for all the children of all
the air force men, and they started to show up in our high school. That's
when I first knew times they were a changing. At least for me they would
never again be the same.
	With them came the sexual innuendo, the looks, the rumors, and the
thought -- people had sex -- and in particular, these high school boys had
sex every time they could find a way to do so. It changed everything in my
little town. First, it made the town larger. The farmers and merchants made
up the biggest part of our community until the air force brought several
thousand new residents and outside businesses to serve them. The size of
our town doubled, and along with new people were new ideas, and new
possiblities, and sex.
	For me, it awakened my feelings. I knew I was gay. I just was
unaware there were things I could do about being gay. Oh! I hid it from
everyone, and it worked until I was fifteen and the air force boys arrived
on scene. They seemed to know about anyone that might be gay. I don't know
how they could know, but they seemed to "sense" it. I'd never heard the old
expression, it takes one to know one, and in the case of many of them, I
think that fit. Only they used this knowledge to get what they wanted but
they were smart enough not to expose themselves while they were getting it.
I didn't know that then, so, it put me at a disadvantage to the worldly
teenage boys that had been around and recognized my facade without any
difficulty.
	I've explored my experiences and feelings in the pages of
Discovering Gregory & Discovering Martin; that's me, Martin. The reason I
wrote it that way was because when I discovered Gregory, I also discovered
things inside myself. The expression, knocks my socks off, comes to mind
here. When I met Greg, I came face to face with my feelings. He was one of
those air force boys that immediately sensed my attraction to him. Maybe it
was the way my mouth gapped uncontrolled, and the bulge in my slacks and
the drool on my chin as I looked at the bulge in his slacks. I don't know
how I could have been that stupid, but it's where it all started, and Greg
knew about me from the get go, and then all the air force boys knew. It
seems Greg was the King of the pack, and I'd made the mistake of showing
him all my cards before the betting had even started. He marked me down as
someone to use.
	Discovering Gregory broke down my resistance to the idea I was
going through a stage. Homosexuality, you know the queer thing. Everyone
said it was a phase you went through. I was waiting for it to end. By the
time Greg came along I was in about my fourth or fifth year of the stage.
Once I met Greg, and then the rest of his subjects, I gave up the idea I'd
be making any radical changes in the way I felt sexually. Maybe it was the
way my dick got hard every time I saw him, or possibly some inner intellect
I hadn't realized was there took over to tell me, "go girl, you're a faggot
for sure."
	It was important for me to get through this period for me to
Discover Martin; like I said, that's me. It was in my mind that I was a
totally different person than I really was. You know, I had goals, and
plans, and ideas of what I could be or where I could go in life.
	First, I gave up the idea of being president. With today's problems
and everyone knowing everything about our president, including which way
his penis bends, I thought that was out. Up until then, well, I thought I
could be anything. Seeing a line of air force boys paraded in front of the
cameras while they described how I serviced them, what I liked, and what
flipped my trigger most of all, didn't sound too appealing to me.
	I had to alter my plans and expectations. I had to find what I was
meant to do and a place to do it with the least amount of resistance. That
right away elimated congress, the military, most important corporate jobs,
teaching, and any one of hundreds of other jobs, not to mention Boy Scouts.
	I started to see being gay as rather limiting. What a lousy choice
to make, but then again, I didn't do much choosing that I remember, except
I woke up one morning with a hard-on and thinking about boys cocks that I'd
seen. It just became something I knew and sensed at first, and then I
waited around for the stage to get over with. Then, there was Greg, and my
need to totally reevaluate my life and my future was obvious.
	So, I'm a pervert, if you haven't read Discovering Gregory or
Discovering Martin, then you'll have to take my word for it. Sex seems to
be on my mind all the time. I know that isn't what I'm supposed to be
thinking about, and maybe that's why gay people are so hated and disliked.
We like sex, and we like thinking about it, and we even doing it from time
to time if not most of the time.
	I had my first lover at fifteen, and that was a real eye opener. It
isn't something I recommend, but where I was in my life, well, Kent was a
doll, and he made me feel like I was something special. Of course then
there was George, Greg, Timmy, and half a dozen others guys I thought about
being with in a way that society might find socially unexceptable, before I
was seventeen I might add. By seventeen I was also in love the second time,
with Doug, Greg's brother.
	All of these things impacted my life, but there was something that
happened to me when I was sixteen that I think I should talk about. It
doesn't fit into either of the other stories I'm telling or have told, so I
will title it Peeper and tell it to you now.
	As I say, I reevaluated who I was and where I was going, but it
didn't make me feel really happy and well adjusted. Life was still a big
mystery to me. Why people could hate and condemn me for a biological
response was pretty damn confusing. The fact I had a capacity to love, and
with all the images of hate and violence, I found it odd that I was bad
because my love was only directed at people of my own sex.
	I would think love in any form would be preferred to violence, hate
and murder, but not in my world. I felt like an outsider. I felt dirty and
yes, I felt like a pervert. Isn't this what I'm told I am? Feeling like a
pervert might have something to do with acting like one, and when the new
family moved in behind my house, I really did something that made me think
I was as bad as they say we are.
	I met Robert first, and he told me about his eighteen year old
brother, James, and his fourteen year old brother, Nylin. They were from
West Virginia by way of the United States Air Force. They moved into my
neighborhood as opposed to moving in with the other air force families.
	Robert was sixteen, and he was very brown, but he was not black.
Since James and Nylin were very white, I didn't know how Robert was colored
the way he was. We talked over the back fence the first time I ever saw
him. He bounced over, gave me a smile, and he started talking. That
afternoon he was at my door wanting to talk. I didn't know what to make of
him, but he was forward and my age.
	Robert wasn't particularly attractive to me, so I gave nothing away
in the sexuality department. My problem is that both James and Nylin were
very attractive to me. I didn't like James because he was a wiseass. Nylin
was young, and I simply knew he was attractive. For some reason I never
once saw their parents. I'm not sure why.
	It was a week or two after our first meeting that Robert started
asking me over to their house. It was like most houses. There was
furniture, a television, and evidence three kids lived there. They lounged
around and we all made small talk, I was asked to eat with them, and I got
really good burgers, fries, and soda that Nylin prepared. I wasn't real
close to anyone in my neighborhood, so it was kind of neat hanging with
them.
	After another week I had gotten pretty comfortable with them. One
night I'd been there and it was probably the weekend because we were
watching television late. Nylin disappeared and I thought nothing of it
until he reappeared in the nude. As I said, Nylin was a good looking kid,
and it didn't matter when guys got naked, I always took an interest. I
couldn't help but notice Nylin and his half hard cock. His cock hair was
black, and he had a rather nice piece of meat for someone as small as he
was. I was dumb struck by his complete lack of modesty.
	"I'm going to bed. Night," he said, walking away scratching his ass
so that I could see his asshole and a few hairs that were in his crack.
	James stood up right after Nylin walked away, and he said, "I
better go tuck in the little fuck. It is getting late."
	It didn't take a rocket scientist to have images running through my
head. I'd found out all the air force boys with brothers were fooling
around with them. I had no difficulty imagining James and Nylin engaged in
some sort of sexual play. Robert seemed nervous, and I simply stood and
said it was time for me to go. He seemed relieved.
	In my mind at the time were the windows at the end of the house
that were partially hidden by the bushes. I knew the blinds always seemed
to be open, and I left, going into my yard through the gate near the
windows that had me excited and horny as hell. I closed the gate and went
into the yard, but circled around the shrubbs and climbed back over the
fence.
	I went to the bushes and looked in the first window. There was
light on in the distance but the room was dark. I moved down to the next
window, and I got an eyefull. It was exactly what I was looking for. Nylin
was in the bottom bunk bed, and his back was leaning on a pillow against
the wall. James was standing next to the bed. His cock was out and in
Nylin's mouth. Nylin held his brothers legs and seemed to be quite capable
at sucking cock. While I watched, Robert came to the bedroom door, leaning
on the jam watching his brothers. Nylin's cock was now hard as could be and
stood straight up unattended out of his thick black pubic hair. He had big
balls that rested on his smooth thighs.
	It took me but a minute to get my own cock out, and I started to
massage myself while I watched the blow job. James unfastened his pants and
let them drop to the floor, and he took off his shirt. He then leaned over
and pulling off his boxers to reveal a marvelous ass. His skin had a
reddish tone to it, and his cock had turned red while Nylin worked it over.
	My own cock was taking more of my attention, and I was surprised to
see James get into bed beside Nylin. The two naked bodies were quite a
contrast. James was muscular and well built. His cock was not much larger
than Nylin's, and his cock hair was light, more blond. James started to
jerk Nylin off as Nylin leaned against the pillow while watching the hand
on his cock.
	I didn't notice Robert had taken out his cock, but it was hard to
miss once I noticed it. Robert was king of cocks in this family. His meat
was fat and easily bigger than both the other very nice presentations. He
stroked himself a couple of times to take any bend out of his meat, and he
stepped forward until Nylin was sucking him off.
	While Nylin sucked off Robert, James went down on Nylin. It was
really great seeing James mouth filled with something other than wise
remarks. While Nylin held Robert's cock and sucked it, his vivid blue eyes
studied the mouth on his own cock.
	James scooted further up and kissed on Nylin's chest. His tongue
worked over his niplles before he turned Nylin onto his side. Robert opened
a drawer behind him and handed James a bottle of lotion and a rubber. In
less than a minute he was turning Nylin's ass up and sticking his cock up
his little brother's ass.
	Nylin showed no resistance or discomfort, he simply went where the
hands moved him. In another minute James was fucking for all he was worth.
His hips and legs moved together to keep his cock moving in and out of the
boy. James wrapped his arms around him and seemed to get lost in his lust
as I watched his muscles flexing as he fucked.
	It was maybe another minute when Robert was yanking his cock from
Nylin's mouth. He was jacking himself off. The absolutely positively
thickest come I've ever seen was splattering on Nylin's unflinching face.
Robert just kept pumping on himself and that thick meat pulsed out four
really thick streams of come that now ran off Nylins face and onto his neck
and chest. Robert's fingers had more come dripping down over them as he
held his cock out at Nylin.
	Right away Robert's cock was bending seriously as Nylin rubbed the
hanging cock head on his skin as he played with it while looking at it
carefully. James held Nylin's top leg up, and I could see his cock entering
and leaving the hole. There was just a little hair back between Nylin's
legs, but nothing that got in the way of the view. James was coming about
this time, and he lifted his head up to watch his own cock disappearing
into the tight hole. I could tell he was really getting off good by the way
his face twisted up. He finally pushed his cock all the way in and just
stayed there inside him with his face on Nylin's back.
	Seeing all this had me pretty worked up, but it was to get even
better when James jumped up pulling the rubber off and missing the trash
can with it as he pushed past Robert. Robert held his cock up for Nylin to
lick off, and he put it away and left. Nylin rolled onto his back looking
down at his erection that looked too large for his body. His hands didn't
touch it, he just stared at the hard meat as it twitched.
	He leaned over and closed the door to the bedroom, picking up the
rubber that had missed the trash can while stretching out of his bed. I
couldn't believe it when he rolled it down on his stiff prick. He leaned
back on the pillow and started to rub the come Robert left on him into his
skin. His hips came up as his fist held the rubber for him to fuck. He
started really fucking into that rubber faster and faster, but his hand
moved the come around his chest super slow.
	Then, with the hardest thrusts of all, I could see his come
shooting up into the tip of the rubber. It just ran up and out of him. As
his hand slowed down its motions the white cream seemed to just pulse up
against the condom so I could see it pumping out of his slit.  It had taken
him maybe a minute to get himself off. His hand continued to stroke, but he
slowed down to almost nothing as he moved the come filled rubber on his
cock still staring at it like he was mesmerized by the feel of his brothers
cream mixing with his.
	Streams were running out of the bottom of the condem as he watched
himself moving it around. A lot of come was accumulating in his rich black
pubes as he pulled the rubber up on his slick shinny prick. He took a thick
gob of Robert's come and he massaged it into the puddle with his come and
Jame's come. He watched his fingers while they were adding Robert's white
cream to the mix. He gathered more of Robert's come and pulling the rubber
free, he massaged the new cream onto the already cum stained cock. He
stroked the hard meat using all that come to lubricate himself.
	Once again his hand was working frantically as he jerked himself
off as his hips raised up. Two spurts of come leaped straight up out of his
cock slit and into the air as his head fell back on the pillow and his
chest jerked and his hips raised up further showing me his balls and
hole. He continued to jerk himself off while collecting the fresh come out
of his pubes.
	I unloaded my nuts at this point. My knees bent seriously as I just
started to come with little warning. I gasped much too loud when I felt
myself letting go. I could hear the force of my come splattering on the
leaves and the bricks. I slipped away, as quick as I could move, trying to
put myself away without getting my pecker caught in my zipper or falling
down.
  	This was when I discovered what went on in my next door neighbors
bedroom at night. It was good knowledge to have. Being a bit more aware of
my own wants and needs these days, I decided to use this information to my
own benefit. I also looked through their window every time I was coming in
late or home alone.
	If you are interested in knowing more, let me know. I'll tell you
what happened next between me and my new neighbors. If you are interested
in knowing more about me, go to Discovering Gregory/Martin, and you will
find out about how I got to the point where I was willing to peek into
windows to satisfy my youthful perverted desires.


If you want me to post more of this story at Nifty, email to:
Rd3b@traveller.com