Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2007 11:36:50 -0700 (PDT) From: Dylan Harris Subject: Diving In Chapter 3 Chapter 3: Gossip People love to talk about other people's problems. Whether it be Marissa Tampa's hideous new outfit, or Victoria Manning's supposed nose job, people would always gather in the hallways before school to discuss the latest news. On this particular day, the gossip was not as upbeat as previous mornings. Well that was until the word spread around of a certain student's tragic death. Most people's reacted by saying, "Who's Kieran Wilmer?" Others pretended that they knew him, and used his death as an excuse to get the attention that they felt they deserved. Ironically, the two people with the most to talk about kept their mouth's shut. "Oh common! Just gimme a couple details!" Travis McCarthy begged. Cameron just gave him a look and just shook his head. Cameron didn't want to talk about what had transpired the night before, even to his best friend. Well, to be honest, Travis wasn't exactly the most sensitive person. "Was there a lot of blood? Did he lose any limbs?! What were his last words?!" "Has it ever occurred to you that this was a person? A human life! And maybe, just maybe, you're being a little insensitive right now?" Cameron burst. Travis had been following him around all morning, and Cameron had had just about enough of it. Travis thought for a second, then said, "Nope." Cameron rolled his eyes and smiled at Travis. " Wait, so how much blood are we talking here?" Cameron managed to avoid all questions from Travis until the first bell rang for his first class. His first class was Math, and as he approached the room he realized that he had this class with James Winters. He doubted that James had even known that they were in the same class because Cameron tended not to talk much. Cameron felt somewhat excited to see James, and he'd be lying to himself if he said that he didn't have butterflies in his stomach. Cameron had a little bit of a crush on James, but he'd had crushes before and they hadn't turned out well. All of his school crushes had turned out to be straight disappointments. And especially with a lacrosse jock like James, he just assumed he was going to disappoint him, so he tried to push aside the feelings he had. Cameron entered math class and sat down in his seat and started to take out his books. His heart jumped as James entered the classroom, but James didn't even look twice at him. He was too busy laughing with another jock, Ricky Moore, to even notice Cameron. Just when Cameron had given up hope, James glanced over at him mid-laugh, but quickly looked away. Mrs. Mendez, the math teacher, got up in front of the class. "Before we start, I have to make an announcement. Due to the recent tragedy, the lacrosse game will be moved to Saturday and the school dance will be canceled. In lieu of a dance, there will be a mandatory memorial service for Kieran Wilmer, which will begin at seven o'clock." As soon as she mentioned Kieran's name, Cameron looked over at James, and saw that James was looking right back at him. Suddenly, the disappointment that Cameron felt by James' lack of recognition when he entered the classroom went away, and Cameron felt a bond with James. Alexis Lucas or Alex, as she liked to be called, had often thought about the topic of death. Mostly that involved what she wanted to do to her parents if they didn't stop trying to get her to reconsider her decision to move out of their house, but she still did think about death. Now, with the recent death of Kieran Wilmer, she wondered about the boy that she never got a chance to know. She thought she told him to get out of her way once, but she really wasn't sure. She felt regret; regret that she never got to know him, regret that she left early from setting up the school dance and wasn't there to help him, but mostly regret that she didn't punch one of the stupid girls in the face that were crying about how they were going to miss him. Although Alex never knew that boy, she knew that he was a loner. These stupid girls never even said a word to him, but they loved the attention. They were the epitome of why she hated high school. Luckily, she was done with high school for the day and was at her job at the Downtown. The Downtown held concerts for local bands to get recognized and just for them to have a gig on the weekends. Alex started working there because she's a music junkie and also because there was a really cute guy who worked there. She was currently watching him unpack some band equipment, and she couldn't keep her eyes off of his biceps. The club was usually empty, besides employees, until shows started, which was why Alex was surprised when Travis McCarthy strolled in. Her second reaction after surprise was infuriation. Alex and Travis had started dating last year, but Alex soon learned that Travis' concept of dating was much different then hers. Her concept of dating was going to shows together, hanging out, and occasionally going to a cheesy chick flick. Travis' concept was having sex with multiple girls at the same time. So, when Travis entered the Downtown, Alex was less than pleased. "Leave!" Alex shouted at him. Alex had no tolerance for Travis whatsoever, or so she told herself. In reality, she really did still feel something for him. Even if right now that came across as pure hatred. "Woah, woah. Please don't waste time with proper greetings." Travis smirked. He never really understood what the problem was with his sleeping with a bunch of other girls. "I'm not even kidding. Leave right now." Alex growled. " I'll give you to the count of three. One...two..." "I just wanted to know, if you wanted a ride to the dead kid thing tomorrow." Travis casually stated. Alex looked at him in disbelief, and Travis picked up on that. "Well, it is mandatory, and I don't see how else you're going to get there seeing how you're living in a cheap apartment without a car..." "Cameron's driving me," Alex lied. She hadn't even talked to Cameron, but it was an excuse to get Travis to leave. "Ouch, okay. Just trying to be a gentleman..." Travis said as he walked away. Alex rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Um, next time your trying to be a gentleman don't sleep with two other girls while we are dating. Thanks" Alex shouted after him. "Touché," Travis shouted back at her as he opened the door to the parking lot. Alex continued to clean cups behind the bar, but now had a little smile on her face. "James!" Max Greco yelled as he threw the ball over to James. James caught it in his stick and sprinted down the field, did a spin move past one of the other players, and scored on the goalie. After numerous high-fives and chest bumps from his fellow teammates, he was ready to go again. It was Friday, after-school, and because the game had been moved, the team had decided to have a scrimmage against each other for practice. James did not get to see Tom after school, and was feeling disappointed because he knew he wouldn't be able to see him until Monday in English class. He was excited to see Cameron tonight at the memorial service, but also somewhat nervous. He wanted to talk to Cameron, he really did, but it was hard because he knew if any of his friends saw him talking to some random kid the entire night, they wouldn't understand. "Hey shithead! Coach is calling us in!" Max Greco said. Max was probably the biggest asshole in the school. Most of James' friends were assholes, but Max really took the cake. He was often seen slapping girls' asses in the hallways, throwing peoples books out windows, or tackling random people in the hallway. James hustled over to where the rest of the team was on one knee while the coach was beginning to talk. Coach Jones gave a long drawn out speech about how this game would determine the rest of the season, etc. Then he told the boys that practice was over and to get a good night sleep. James took off his helmet and slid it down his lacrosse stick and began to carry them off the field. Kevin jogged up to catch up to James. "Yo James! Wait up!" Kevin called. James turned around and waited for Kevin. "I have a question." Kevin said as soon as he got to James. "Yeah, what's up?" James asked. He hadn't really talk to Kevin in the past couple days. Kevin wasn't exactly Mr. Sensitive, so it was hard to talk to him about things like Kieran's death. "Well, actually, it's not really a question," Kevin corrected. "I heard that Megan O'Halloran wants to fuck you." Megan O'Halloran was known for hooking up with many guys in the school, but never really did anything beyond that. So the fact that she wanted to have sex with James surprised him and scared him. James had hooked up with a lot of girls in his freshman year, trying to convince himself that he was straight. He actually got head from this one girl, but he was pretending it was a guy. After that, he came to terms with his homosexuality and only hooked up with girls to make others think he was straight. "Oh really?" James acted surprised and excited, but on the inside all he was thinking of was how he could get out of it. "Yeah, she was telling Marissa about it the other day. And actually it works out perfectly cause, don't tell anyone, but my parents are going away tomorrow so if I can have a party after the game. I'll make sure you guys have a room." Kevin winked. James suddenly felt a pit in his stomach, but didn't say anything. He just smiled and walked into the locker room. Most people walked into the gymnasium with their heads down, upset that they had just lost a fellow student. Marissa Tampa walked into the gymnasium annoyed. She was looking forward to going to the lacrosse game on Friday, and did not want to go to this stupid memorial service. She had actually bought a new outfit for the game, which she was forced to put in her closet for the next night. She looked around at all of the people crying and was annoyed because she knew no one really missed him. The kid was a loser, he didn't talk to anyone, and no one was going to miss him. She knew that, they knew that, and she didn't understand why everyone was pretending they were upset. She walked over to her friend Megan who was looking at a board that had been made, showing all pictures of him. "Hey bitch," Marissa said behind Megan. Megan turned around, but wasn't smiling. Marissa hoped that she too wasn't pretending to be sad. But then Megan showed a big smile right back at her. "Hey whore," Megan smiled and they kissed each other on the cheek. "Who is this kid?" Marissa started laughing, because she too had never even heard of this boy before he died. "I have no idea," Marissa laughed. "Apparently he went here, but I don't think I've seen him once." They both laughed. It wasn't that they were bad people, okay they were pretty bad people, but they had grown so insensitive over the years that they didn't really care that someone had just died as long as it didn't affect them. "Hold on bitch, I'll be right back. I'm going to get water." Marissa walked away from Megan and towards the water fountain. She saw a woman standing in the corner by the water fountain crying to herself. Marissa tried to avoid eye contact with her, but couldn't help but wonder who this woman was. Suddenly the woman looked over at Marissa. She looked as if she recognized her, and ran over to give Marissa a hug. "Oh my god! He's gone! My Kieran's gone!" the woman cried on Marissa's shoulder. Marissa didn't know how to react, but internally she was wondering who this woman was and hoping that the woman's mascara was not ruining her shit. "I'm so sorry..." Marissa said, trying to be genuine. "I didn't really know your son, but I hear he was a very nice boy." The woman pulled back from the hug, and looked at Marissa confused. She stared at her for a second to make sure she was who she thought she was, then said, "What are you talking about?" When Marissa still didn't react, she said, "You were my son's girlfriend." Cameron sat on the bleachers of the football/lacrosse field. He went in the gym for the service but just couldn't take any more of people being "sad" for Kieran's death. He himself didn't know how he felt about the boy's death, and he doubted that anyone would feel sadder than him. He watched the boy die. Well, James might feel just as sad, but Cameron didn't see James inside. Cameron wanted to cry, he wanted to feel something for Kieran's death, but he felt absolutely nothing. He knew it was very sad, and he knew that he should be crying, but he just felt very numb. Cameron suddenly began to feel depressed about his own life and his own situation. He was sixteen-year-old boy who's never even had his first kiss. He didn't have a lot of friends, really only two good ones. He wondered if people would pretend to be sad at his memorial service. He wondered if anyone would even care that he died. He knew that Travis and Alex would be upset, and that parents would be very upset, but that's about it. Four people? That's not too good. Cameron heard a creaking of the benches and looked up to see James walking towards him. Suddenly that feeling of depression went away. He was nervous, scared, but extremely happy that James was coming towards him. He never thought in a million years that James would come out and talk to him. "Hey," James said, as he got closer. "You sick of people inside too?" Cameron smiled and said, "Oh yeah. I feel like no one knew the kid, and I feel like I should be sadder, but I'm not. I don't know." James sat down next to him on the bench. "No, I feel the exact same way. It's hard to be sad about someone when you didn't know them. I mean part of me assumes he was a nice kid, but we have no idea," James said. Cameron looked at him, and his heart jumped a little bit. James looked straight ahead like he was in deep thought. "I feel guilty. I mean, we were both right there that day. It all happened so fast. I saw the car coming. I should've said something, anything..." Cameron started, but stopped when he felt James put his hand on Cameron's back. He felt chills go through his body. He looked at James, and their eyes met. Cameron's heart began to beat fast, and he wasn't sure what to do so he said. "We should get back." "Yeah," James said. Cameron wanted to punch himself in the face. He just had a moment with James and he completely blew it. He wanted to die, but at the same time he was extremely happy that they had shared a moment. They both started to walk across the bleachers and toward the school. James stopped for a second and looked at Cameron. "Hey, I don't know if you have any plans, but um, my friends having a party tomorrow after the game, and he told me to try and get people to go." "Yeah sure, I'll go." Cameron said without thinking. "Hello?" Cameron answered his phone on Saturday afternoon. "Yo, I need your help." Travis said without saying who he was. Travis assumed that Cameron knew by now that he was the only person who refused to say it was him calling. "Tonight I'm going to the Downtown to try and get with Alex and I need you to be my wingman." "I can't. I think I'm going to go to that lacrosse party, you should come. Actually I need you to come so I don't feel awkward." Cameron said. Travis couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but the sincerity in his tone sounded like he was 100% serious. "Wait, why would you want to go to that? You don't even know any of those assholes," Travis said. Sometimes Travis didn't get Cameron, and this was one of those times. "I don't know; James winters invited me, I thought it'd be fun." Cameron explained. It didn't seem like a good explanation to Travis. He knew that Cameron hated those assholes as much as he did. "It sounds like the opposite of fun. I'll make you a deal, you go to help me with Alex, and I'll go with you to your stupid party." Travis agreed, although, he had no intention of holding up his end of the deal. Cameron should've been smart enough to realize that Travis was lying, but Cameron agreed to come with him. Alex was so busy as the bartender that she didn't even notice that it was Travis who had asked her for her last order. When she slid him a drink, she looked up to his grinning face and to Cameron standing right behind him. She first frowned at Travis, but then looked at Cameron and gave him an evil eye for bringing Travis. Cameron put his hands in the air, while Travis grabbed Alex's hand. "How about a dance, pretty lady?" Travis was still grinning and Alex wanted to wipe it right off his face by punching him, but contained herself. "How about I call the over the owner and get you kicked out?" Alex retorted back at him. Travis smiled at her, but Alex was certainly not smiling. She knew he thought this was all a big game, but to her it wasn't at all. "Eh, I like the first one better," Travis remarked. She wasn't laughing. "Oh common, stop being such a bitch." Travis said casually. "Wow, I can't even take you!" Alex called over to some guy who was working the other side of the bar. " Travis, meet Tony. Tony used to be a bodyguard. Tony and me are good friends, and if you don't get your ass out of here within the next five minutes, you will get to know him in the alley outside. Got it?" Travis looked at Tony, then back at Alex. "I'm not going anywhere." James should've been in an amazing mood. They had won the lacrosse game and Kevin was throwing the party of the year. But James wasn't in an amazing mood, or even a good mood. He had been looking for Cameron the entire night, but he was nowhere to be found. When James thought about it, he tried to rationalize why Cameron didn't come. He realized that it was a lot to ask for him to come to a party where he knew no one, but at the same time Cameron had said, "Sure, I'll go." He tried to think that maybe Cameron was coming later, but as the night dragged on, he realized that he was wrong. Cameron wasn't coming, and James realized he was an idiot for thinking Cameron would come. James thought about how their conversation had gone on the bleachers, and realized that Cameron had looked away when they had a moment. And Cameron even said "We should go inside." He felt like an idiot for thinking that Cameron was gay, and even more of an idiot for thinking that he and Cameron would've worked out. James felt alone as he sat down on a couch in the living room. Yeah, he had Tom, but Tom was married. It didn't help that he and Tom didn't see each other outside of their after-school sessions. James realized that he was alone, and that being gay was a lot harder than he had thought. Megan O'Halloran watched as James sulked on the couch, and decided that she was going to try and cheer him up. She sat down next to him with her hand on his thigh, and James finished off the rest of his beer. Megan looked up at him and smiled, and he forced a smile right back. Alex flipped through her planner, making sure she had all the books she needed for her Monday classes, then closed her locker. She had gotten to school later than usual, but she still had a few extra minutes to talk to Cameron. She approached his locker just as he was closing it. She looked at him, and he looked at her blankly. "I am so sorry," Alex said as she approached Cameron, "I had no idea that Travis was going to be such an idiot! If it makes you feel any better, after you left I had to clean the toilets for the rest of the night." "Well, at least you didn't have to bring Travis home with a black eye. His mom was asking me questions for literally an hour." Cameron moaned. She did feel bad that Tony had messed Travis up so much, but then again it kind of made her smile. Travis got exactly what he had coming to him. She felt worse that Cameron had to deal with Travis. "I'm really sorry! I like actually do feel really bad. You should've given me a heads up that you guys were coming. I thought you were going to some party." Alex said. She was 99% sure that Cameron had told her that he couldn't hang out with her at work because he was going to some party. "Yeah, I didn't make it...thanks to you," Cameron smirked. Alex playfully smacked Cameron in the head. As she did saw, she saw out of the corner of her eye Travis walking down the hallway, and she tried not to laugh as she looked at his black eye. Gossip. It travels from mouth to mouth everyday all over the world. People find out things that make them feel better about themselves, like when Kevin heard that Darcy Granger said he was hot. People find out things that make them laugh, like when Alex heard that Travis nearly got his jaw broken. People find out things that hurt them as well. And when Cameron heard in History class that James Winters had sex with Megan O'Halloran, he realized that he was once again alone, and the depression that he felt before suddenly returned.