Dude, Are You Serious?

© 2015


Jonathan Longhorn

Copyright © 2015 by Jonathan Longhorn (jonathan_longhorn at yahoo dot com). All rights reserved. Except for the use of less than two pages in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means is forbidden without the express written permission of the author. Express permission is granted to The Nifty Erotic Stories Archive for storage, indexing, retrieval, and display of this work.

Disclaimer: The material in this work is for mature audiences only and contains graphic sexual content and language. It is intended only for those aged 18 and older. All of the characters in this work are assumed to be at least 18 years of age.

This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and settings are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, names, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental. In the real world having sex without using a condom can be very dangerous to your health. Don’t ruin your life or your future. Slip it on before you slip it in.

Note: There are some references in this story and others, to things mentioned in another of my stories, Target Nemesis: The Tentacle Lord’s Revenge, which you can find here: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/target-nemesis-the-tentacle-lords-revenge.html. The story itself is about the movie being watched by characters in several of my stories - in which an alien warlord bent on revenge, ‘has his way’ with an Earth Forces Brigade hero. While I hope that you would enjoy reading that story, it may be a bit brutal for some readers and you do not need to read that story first in order to understand or to enjoy this story.

All trademarks used in this work are the sole property of their owners and have been used without permission or endorsement.

Chapter 10


Uh oh. A pink flag started flapping in the rising fog of Ellis Blackwell’s brain. He’d already got caught promising Reagan Bender that he would be his ‘slave for life’ if he got him the keys to ‘that’ truck. So far, Reagan hadn’t made him produce on that … but … he knew the day was coming. It had to be. Reagan wouldn’t forget that kind of a misstep on his part.

And, now—he’d just put his boot in it. Again. Here—with Ryan and Bennett. He’d just bounded into a brick walled corner with the comment that he ‘would do anything’ to watch them do this spit roast thing. The grin on Bennett’s face pretty much said it all. And, that pink flag in the fog flapped harder.

“I, um….”

Ryan chuckled. He leaned sideways and shoulder bumped the 6’3” stud dog next to him. He chuckled again, a little harder, when he felt Ellis stiffen against that bump.

“Well, you ‘did’ say ‘anything’, Ellis.”

Ellis lifted his empty mug and sucked at the straw. Nothing … but … air. Fuck.

“Yeah, but….” Ellis swept the room with his eyes looking for a topic strong enough to get him out of this conversation. There really wasn’t one. He didn’t know for sure where this idea was going but he had a fairly good hint. That pink flag shrouded in his fogged brain kept flapping harder by the minute. “You guys aren’t gonna pull any fag shit on me. Are you?”

Bennett snorted.

“Fag shit? Seriously, dude? After all these years we’ve known each other? Been ‘friends’ and now you decide to go there? You’re gonna plaster us with the ‘fag’ word?” He huffed and drew a mouthful of ice. Crunched. Swallowed. “Okay, you know what? Yeah. That’s exactly what we were going to do, dude. We were going to spit roast a guy and let you watch. And, who knows—before you started insulting us? You might have even been in line to get a blow job out of the deal.”

Ryan nodded and let out a leading comment of his own.

“At the very least.”

“But, I’m not….”

“You know what? Forget it.” Bennett wadded one of the napkins he had used to mop up after Ryan’s choking fit earlier and tossed it onto his now nearly tongued clean plate. “That insult after all … these … years that we’ve been friends just proves the point.”


“Yeah, man. That was low. I had more respect for you a couple minutes ago,” Ryan chimed in. “You obviously didn’t have any respect for us through the years and you obviously don’t have any respect for us now.” He grabbed his baseball cap and his keys and cell phone and started nudging Ellis to let him get out of the booth. “C’mon, B. Let’s us ‘fags’ get out of here.”



Blow job?

They were going to get him a blow job? Tonight? Even a queer dawg blow job? Ellis’ voice squeaked as he blushed at the thought. Blushed. Embarrassed. Intrigued. His bone was doing a happy dance in his jeans at the mere mention of the idea.

“Blow job?”

Bennett grinned. Yeah, he thought that would get his attention. He nodded in the affirmative and Ryan eased back into the seat.

“That’s what goes down in this sort of thing, dude,” Bennett advised knowingly. At least, he hoped that it sounded very knowing to Ellis just then. Bait the hook and start reeling him in, and all that. “When you’re spit roasting a dude, one of you takes the guy’s mouth. One of you takes his hole. You roast him good. Hell—before that comment, I think me and Ryan both were considering letting you not just ‘watch’ but letting you slide into position and do some roasting.”

Ellis felt his face flush even as his still stiffening cock continued to do a happy dance in those tight jeans.

“Really? You would, you know, um…. You’d include … me?”

Bennett made a conspiratorial survey of the diner and then leaned across the table. Ellis leaned in response.

“A blow job is a blow job is a blow job. Right?”

“I, uh…. Well, yeah … I guess, but,” Ellis was suddenly on the defensive here and he didn’t like it very much. He knew he mouthed off a lot but he didn’t think these two would take his comment so personally. “But….”

“What?” Ryan asked from Ellis’ side. “But … what?”


Hold on.

When did this conversation go spiraling out of control so completely?

Ellis took another moment to make a survey of his own through the nearly empty dining area. The closest person at this point was Whitney. Other than that—2 remaining truckers in the opposite direction. The crowd would be thin as his running ‘skins until the late, late show got out over at the theater.

“I didn’t mean anything. It’s just that….”

“It’s just that what?”

“I’m not, you know….”

Bennett leaned further across the table and glared into Ellis’ eyes. He could be a force to be reckoned with in his own right. If he put his balls into it, he could be just as alphatudinally ‘in your face’ as Ellis. Period.

“You’re not … what?”

“Um, g…. You know, gay,” came out of Ellis’ mouth whisper soft. First, it had to claw its way up from his guts and climb through his throat and make its way passed his teeth but … yeah … there it was. “I’m not gay.”



“And, you’re saying we are?” This came from Ryan. His tone was flat. Accusatory. Tinged with hoarseness.

“Well, I mean,” Ellis paused again. “But…. But you guys are gonna….”

Thank goodness for Mr. Burkeholder. He appeared on the scene just then with a fresh Lemon Cherry Bomb. He nodded his thanks and practically dove inside the frosted mug to put off this conversation, even for a moment. After Lane Burkeholder refilled the other two guys’ mugs and walked away, Ellis sucked in air between straw slurping on that heavenly concoction in his mug. Okay, he had to dig his way out of this.

“I mean, what you’re talking about. It’s kinda, you know … gay. I’m not. I mean, I’ve never…. What I mean to say is that….” Sigh. Straw suck. Spine shiver. “Fuck. I don’t know what I mean.”



More straw sucks all around.

After what seemed like an eternity—at least to Ellis—Ryan leaned closer to him and nearly whispered.

“You don’t have to be gay to get sucked, dude. You don’t have to be gay to fuck another guy.” The stunned expression on Ellis’ face was nearly too good to pass on a laugh. But somehow, Ryan managed. “Hell, for that matter?”


Sip and slurp.

Straw suck.


“Hell, um…. Hell, for that matter … what?”

Before Ryan could continue, Bennett jumped in.

“For that matter, you don’t have to be gay to get a pucker slurp. You don’t have to be gay to give a blow job. A straight guy can suck dick.” The look that swept Ellis’ face was incredulous, and—kind of adorable. He darted looks between Bennett and Ryan. Both nodded ‘yes’ to that. “Hell, dude—a straight guy can fuck another guy, or—get fucked.”

“Sheah, right.”

“Seriously, dude,” Ryan rejoined. “Chalk it up to curiosity. Chalk it up to just wanting to see what it’s like. Experimentation. A serious case of the hornies and the only other person around is another dude.”


Stunned silence.

Straw suck.

“C’mon, Ryan, he’s already insulted us and now he’s showing he doesn’t have the balls to even watch … much less … jump in the big kids pool. He’s not man enough.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ryan said as he again nudged Ellis and this time, made his way out of the booth. “I really thought you were more of a man than that, Ellis. But, I was wrong. You wouldn’t have insulted the fuck out of us if that were the case.”


Bennett Brownley looked up into the rearview mirror of his Silverado. The headlights were still right there—six car lengths behind them. Ellis Blackwell. He let out a laugh and slapped his best friend’s thigh.

“He’s following us?”


“No shit?”

“Take a look.”

Ryan turned and stared out the back window. Sure enough. There was that ‘Inferno’ that Reagan Bender had sold to Ellis. He snickered. Maybe they should include Reagan and Whitney in this ‘if’ it all went as planned. ‘If’ they could back Ellis into a corner and actually get him to ask them to gay it up for a while. Might take some coercing. Sure. But when they got out of that booth, there was no mistaking the bone jutting in Ellis’ jeans.

“Dude,” Bennett said with a shit-eating grin. “That was one hell of an Academy Award winning performance back there. Best Entrapment of a Straight Guy By Two Male Leads….”

Both friends laughed as Bennett hit his directional indicator and made a left into the road leading up to Ryan’s house. Ryan’s empty house. Parents and kids out of town. A house all to their own for the week.

Even in his joviality, Ryan couldn’t help but wonder about something. How things went down back at B&T’s. How things were going right now with Ellis following their exhaust trail. How things might go … could go….

“You don’t think,” he started before taking another glance out the back window. “I mean, you don’t think that our Alpha Dawg is … you know … a closet case?”

Bennett glanced back into his mirror. The ‘Inferno’ was sitting still. Right there at the turn off for the entrance to the road he and Ryan were on now. He could just see Ellis’ brain smoking as he thought his way through this situation. Or, tried to think his way through this situation. He bet he was sitting there with a raging bone, too. A bone that was not helping at all in his attempt to make heads or tails of all this. And, there was no doubt about the bone. As they were walking out of the diner, that bone was about to rip his jeans apart.

“I dunno, man,” Bennett said finally. “You saw that bone he was hauling. We both saw it. Dude was bonin’ to Uranus and back.”

Ryan chuckled. He turned to take in his best friend and his eyes lit up. “Maybe ‘your’ anus, B.”

Bennett laughed so hard he thought he was going to pee himself. That was the comeback of the year. Ryan’s sense of humor was so dry you had to add water to get to it most of the time. Okay, he’d let Ryan take that blue ribbon.

Another mirror glance.

And, there it was.

The headlights.

Ellis made the turn.

“Got him.”

Ryan turned to look out the back window of the truck. Yeah, there he was. Coming down the road behind them.

He turned back to grin across the cab of the truck. He offered up a fist. Bumped.



Bennett Brownley peered out the window in the front door to see where Ellis Blackwell was. His pickup was halfway down the long drive leading up to Ryan’s family’s house. Sitting. Idling. Headlights and fog lamps piercing the thick blackness of the night.



At the moment, that was very good. That internal debate that Ellis was going through out there on the road gave them a little time.

“Now what?”

Bennett nearly jumped out of his boots at the sound of his best friend’s voice behind him. Right behind him. He bet if he reached back, he could grab Ryan’s nuts without any trouble at all—that’s how close he sounded.



“Strip,” Bennett said as he turned to face Ryan. Yeah, sure enough—right behind him. Nuts within reach if he went there. He pulled his shirt over his head and unbuckled his belt. “C’mon—hurry. Strip and get on your knees and suck my dick.”

Suck his….



“Dude, what are you talking about,” Ryan asked incredulously as he subconsciously … obediently … lifted his arms when Bennett reached for the hem of his shirt and began tugging upwards. “I think we need to discuss a plan of action, here, dude.”

“We are discussing a plan of action,” Bennett said as he pulled Ryan’s shirt free from his body and then reached for the front of his friend’s jeans. “C’mon—we don’t have a lot of time before he pulls up outside and is banging at the door.”


“C’mon, dude. Get naked.”

Ryan’s head was suddenly spinning. Where was he when they discussed this plan of action? Did he get the memo? Was it in Q’atonian? He kicked off his shoes and stood there staring as Bennett shoved his own jeans and his underwear down his thick, muscular legs, stepped out of them and then kicked them to the side. His cock was hard. Really hard. And snapped up to smack his belly when it came free of those shorts. Fuck! Bennett’s cock was enormous! He’d forgotten just how big it got when it was boned solid. He’d stolen glances a few times during overnighters and camping trips when Bennett was sound asleep and apparently having a really good dream. The thing was a monster. Kind of awing. Kind of … hard … not to look away from. Yeah, that was it. An awing monster cock that was kind of hard to look away from once you got entranced by its power. He shook his head clear.

“But, wait. What are we…? Why … naked … and, what do you mean get on my…?”


Bennett stepped forward, his cock swinging with each footfall. He planted his hands on Ryan’s powerfully built shoulders and he leaned in close—their noses almost touching … breaths colliding.

“It’s part of the game plan, Ry,” Bennett said as his arms slid gently down his friend’s biceps, to his forearms, skimming over to his waist and grasping those still hip clinging jeans. He reached for the zipper without taking his eyes away from Ryan’s gaze and tugged the brass tag downward. “We need to reel him in the moment that he walks through the door, dude. We need to hook him right then and then reel him in.”

“Yeah, but,” Ryan gasped slightly as he felt cool air surround his swollen cock. He stood there, frozen in place, as Bennett dropped to one knee briefly and yanked his jeans and shorts from first one and then the other of his feet. They were tossed aside and landed in a heap half on top of Bennett’s clothes. Just as he was going to look down at his kneeling friend, Bennett straightened up and was staring into his eyes again. “But, why? What? Wait. What do you mean get on my knees and…?”

“My God, you’re beautiful,” Bennett said as his eyes swept across his friend’s face and body. “You’re really beautiful.”

“I … uh … but,” Ryan couldn’t help but take a downward gaze at that massive cock rising up between his friend’s legs. A massive cock that Bennett had just told him to drop to his knees and…. Did he just say that he was beautiful? Blush. “Thanks. But, what did you mean when you said to drop….”

“You said it yourself,” Bennett cut in. “Game plan. Remember?” He waited for a nod. He got it. Finally. “Well, we need a game plan already in place the moment that he walks through the door. We need to hook him and reel him in from the split second he steps inside the house, right?” Nod. Dubious. But, a nod. “He’ll be blown away and hooked like a big mouth bass when he comes inside and sees both of us … naked … and you on your knees sucking my cock. He’ll be drawn closer and closer to us like a moth to that flame thing everyone talks about.”


Sand and gravel.




“But why do I suck your…?” Ryan was really having a hard time grasping the ‘plan’ in this. “Why don’t you suck my dick?”

Okay, maybe they should have worked through this before now. Of course, there really was no before ‘now’ became ‘now’. They had no idea that Ellis would actually bite on those insults back at the restaurant. Or, for that matter, that he would actually follow them out here to Ryan’s house. Or, triple for that matter, that he would be walking through that door any second to ‘watch’ a spit roast that was not going to take place. At least, not until he was naked and he was the roastee.

But, he digressed.

Bennett had to get Ryan on his knees.


“Okay, as beautiful as you are. As fucking gorgeous as you are. As mega hot as that cock of yours is … and fucking thick, I might add,” he grinned and winked. He swallowed a chuckle at the blush that rose further on Ryan’s stunning face. “Face it. I’ve got a much bigger cock. Really, only one cock that ‘I’ know of that’s bigger.”


“Exactly. But, Dillon isn’t here. You and I are. And … Ellis will be any second,” he said with a glance toward the front door. “It only makes sense then, that you would be on your knees sucking my cock when he comes inside.” He slid his hands palm flat up Ryan’s chest and over his shoulders. He applied the faintest amount of pressure downward. “Besides….”

Ryan swallowed more of that sand and gravel. His eyes narrowed. Fuck. May the Hounds of Hell help him.

Ryan had to ask. He knew he would regret it. But, he had to ask.

Fuck, Bennett’s hands felt good on his shoulders. That gentle massage. His fingers digging into the muscle. Kneading. Rubbing. Massaging. Kneading….

“Besides … um … what?”

Bennett glanced toward the front door again. Headlights. Fog lamps. Right outside. Beside his truck. Ellis was right outside. They had to get this moving. He leaned closer to Ryan and kissed his forehead. Soft. Gentle. The kiss of a friend. More—the kiss of a best friend. He kissed his forehead again. And, again. He kissed the bridge of Ryan’s nose. Then the tip. He slid to the left and nuzzled Ryan’s neck. Upward … to … his … ear. Ryan gasped. He applied more pressure on those shoulders.

“Besides … it isn’t … the first … time,” Bennett cooed softly as he left that ear and zeroed in on his best friend’s lips. “…that you sucked me.”

Ryan swallowed. His breath caught in his lungs. Bennett’s lips were on his. Gently kissing him. Pressing softly. He felt the pressure building against his shoulders. He kissed back.



He’d never….

He pulled back.

“I’ve never suc….”

Bennett grinned. Amused but loving. He kissed Ryan’s lips again. Soft. Tender. Gentle.

“Yes you have,” he said as he pushed against the shoulders ever harder. “I recognized those lime green NB M’s,” he said referring to a pair of neon lime New Balance tennis shoes that nearly glowed in the dark.

Ryan’s head was suddenly spinning out of control under the spell of his friend’s touch, those butterfly kisses … his purring voice. He felt his knees beginning to give in to the pressure being applied to his shoulders.


What … what?

His lime green…?

“What are you talking about?”

Bennett applied a little more pressure. They were running out of time here. He glanced toward the door briefly. The headlights had gone dark. The fog lamps were still on but….

“The rest area. Out on the Interstate,” he said before he butterflied those lips again. “The men’s room. The glory hole.” He kissed Ryan’s mouth more deeply now. More insistent. More demanding. And he pushed harder on those beautiful shoulders. “I know that was you sucking my dick that night. I recognized those lime shoes.”



Whoa! The fuck?

He had never been to that men’s room. Glory hole? What? He had never sucked Bennett’s cock. Sheah, right! He’d remember that monster in his mouth.

“Most perfect blow job I’ve ever had, Ryan,” Bennett said as he pulled back from that last kiss. “You were incredible. I never said anything because I didn’t want to embarrass you. I was waiting until you were ready to talk about it.”

Ryan’s knees buckled as that comment sank in. He had never sucked Bennett’s cock. He had never sucked anyone’s cock. He had never…. Wait. He didn’t even own those lime greens any more. He had donated them to the cheerleaders for that silent auction. They had been sold. They got more than $200. Whoever bought those shoes … they … were the one in that men’s room … sucking Bennett’s cock. Giving him that blow job.


He hit his knees.

There, on the floor.

Between Bennett’s thighs.

“Bennett, that wasn’t … mmpphh. Mmpphh ungphumphk.”

That was all of the response he could utter. At that moment, Bennett’s cock slid home.

Bennett slid his fingers through Ryan’s hair and pulled him more completely down on his throbbing cock. He glanced toward the door as it began to swing open. He looked down at his best friend. On his knees. His mouth stuffed with cock. Stuffed with ‘his’ cock.

“Just in time, Ellis,” he said as he combed a firmer grip of Ryan’s hair. Another inch of his throbbing cock slid inside that beautiful mouth. “Get naked. You want a show? You pay the ticket price.”

Ellis Blackwell stepped inside and gently pushed the door shut. He stood. He stared. He gaped. He watched. Ryan McGregor. On his knees. With his mouth wrapped around Bennett’s cock. Bennett’s fucking huge, thick cock.

He swallowed.

He gulped for air.

He tore his eyes away from Ryan’s mouth and Bennett’s cock and gazed upward. Into Bennett’s eyes.

“Strip,” Bennett said firmly. Commanding. Taking control. “Now, Ellis.”

That last instruction was almost a bark more than a statement. Ellis jumped slightly under the power behind it. He reached for his shirt before even thinking about it. Just doing. Obeying Bennett. His shirt fluttered to the floor as his hands went for the button on his jeans.

“Yes, Sir.”

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