Caleb was trying to be quiet when he came back into the room, but it woke me up just the same.  I sat up and rubbed my eyes.  "Sorry," Caleb said, sitting down on his bed.  "I didn't mean to wake you."

      "It's all right," I replied, still trying to get my bearings.  "What time is it?"

      "A little after ten," Caleb responded, tearing his shirt off and laying down in his own bed.

      "Shit, I missed dinner."  I got up and went around to my desk and sat down.  I looked down at my answering machine which was indicating that I had one message.  I suddenly remembered Alex's call and figured I should call him back.  I had totally overreacted.  I stopped for a second as Brandon's words rang through my head once again.

      You know Eric Reynolds?

      "Hey, are you okay?" Caleb asked.  I glanced over at him and saw that he was staring at me.  I inadvertently scanned down his well defined chest which was dark almost to the point of being red.

      "No, I was just feeling a little sick earlier, that's all."  He nodded his head, but continued staring at me.  I reached for the phone and quickly dialed Alex's number.

      "Hello?" someone quickly answered.

      "Alex?" I asked.

      "No, this is Brandon, Alex isn't here right now."

      I almost hung the phone up when I realized it was Brandon, but I stopped myself.  It was foolish to be acting this way.  Just because he knew Eric from back home was no reason for me to avoid him here.  "Would you tell him Trevor called?"

      "Oh, Trevor," he said, his professional phone voice vanishing when he realized who I was.  "I'm glad you called.  I was worried about you.  What was wrong earlier?"

      I sat there in silence for a while before looking over at Caleb who was sprawled across his bed.  His eyes were closed.  "Hey, Brandon," I said into the phone.

      "Yeah?"

      "Are you doing anything right now?"

      "Not really."

      "Do you mind if I come over?"  I didn't really know what I would say to him about Eric, but I knew I had to say something.  I could always just say he was a guy I didn't like back home.

      "No, come on over," he said quickly.  Perhaps a little bit too quickly.  I was starting to get the impression that this guy liked me.

      "Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes."  I hung up the phone and went over to the sink to brush my teeth.  Caleb nearly scared me to death when he came up behind me.

      "Can I trust you Trevor?" he asked, his face expressionless.

      I spun around and stared at him.  "What?"  I really had no idea what he was talking about.

      "Can I trust you?  About what I was doing in here earlier I mean."  I suddenly remembered he had been smoking in the room when I came in earlier which was definitely prohibited.

      "Oh," I said, suddenly catching on.  "Sorry I didn't say anything earlier, but I don't smoke and I would prefer it if you would smoke outside."

      "Outside?" he asked questioningly, as if the idea had never crossed his mind before.

      "Yeah, you know, like out on the benches or something?"  A giant grin suddenly crossed his face and I was once again left in the dark about what was going on.  "Why are you smiling?"

      "I wasn't smoking a cigarette," he said through a thick chuckle.

      "Oh great," I said sarcastically as it finally hit me.  "You're doing drugs in our room.  How wonderful."  I totally dropped the politeness act when I realized he had been smoking pot in our room.

      He must not have caught on to the fact that I was being sarcastic because he quickly said, "That's what I was trying to tell you when I moved in.  I have some major hookups here.  Just let me know if you need anything."  His smile had turned into one of triumph, like he had just saved my life or something.

      "No no," I said quickly and perhaps a little bitterly.  "I don't do that stuff and I would prefer it if you didn't do it in my room."  His smile vanished and he began looking at me as if I had some sort of disease.

      "I'm sorry," he said slowly, like he was genuinely concerned about the fact that I didn't smoke pot.  "I won't do it in the room anymore."  He went back over to his bed and laid down.  I shook my head in amazement at what had just happened.  My roommate was a drug addict.  Just my luck.

      I grabbed my wallet and keys and quickly went for the door.  My mother told me that college was going to be interesting for me since I came from such a small town.  I was starting to believe her.
 
 

      I knocked on the door and took a step back.  My heart was racing at the prospect of seeing Brandon again.  The whole way over here I had been wondering about how he knew Eric.  Brandon opened the door and slight grin crossed his boyish face.  "Hey Trevor."

      "Hey," I said quietly.

      "Come on in."

      "Actually," I said, "I was wondering if we could go for a walk."

      He stopped and thought about it for a second.  "Umm, yeah.  Sure.  Let me get my shoes."  He went back inside and I followed him in.  I stood in the doorway as he put his shoes on.  I couldn't believe I had been here earlier in the day.  It felt like a week ago.

      My eyes scanned around the room and stopped on Brandon's N'Sync poster.  "I like your poster," I said.  I don't really know why I said it since I wasn't too fond of the group, but he looked up at me and smiled.

      "Thanks."  He seemed to be blushing a little.  I smiled back.  He really was cute.  "I'm ready to go," he said standing up.

       We walked outside and down the sidewalk toward the center of campus.  We were both silent for a while when suddenly Brandon began to say something.  Before he could get a word in I asked straight up, "So how do you know Eric Reynolds?"

      "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing," he replied.  We looked at each other for a second as we walked along and he must have realized I wasn't going to answer first.  "I met him last year near the end of the school year.  We were pretty good friends."  We continued on in silence and it appeared that Brandon was through with his story.  "How about you?"

      "We were...." I stopped myself.  "I knew him back in tenth grade.  He was a freshmen at the time."

      "Oh," he said.  He was quiet for a while before adding, "He was a really nice guy."  He said it very cautiously and I figured he must have been remembering my reaction earlier in the day.  He knew he was walking on thin ice with this conversation.

      We were coming up to the small pond in the middle of campus and slowed down to a stroll as we walked along the sidewalk.  With the soft glow of the lamps all around the pond, you could still see the silhouettes of ducks out in the water, even at night.  "So, what did you do in high school?" he finally asked, hoping to change the subject.  I didn't really want to, but I wasn't sure how to press him further about how he knew Eric.

      "Well, I played football my freshmen and sophomore years."

      "Oh wow," Brandon said, his youthful excitement beginning to bubble up again.  "You had an awesome Junior Varsity team when I was a sophomore.  I actually went to the State Championship game where you beat us.  Did you play in that game?"

      "Well yeah," I said smiling.  "I was the quarterback."

      Brandon suddenly stopped in his tracks and I stopped and turned around to see why.  He was staring at me in shock and I could tell his mind was spinning.  "What's wrong?" I asked.  "Do you remember me from the game?"

      "You were the quarterback in that game?" he whispered almost inaudibly.

      "Yeah, why?"  For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was going on.

      "Eric's brother Sebastian," he muttered in disbelief.  "You were his boyfriend."  I stared back at him in silence as his words sunk in.  It hadn't been a question.  It had been a statement.  Somehow, Brandon knew about Eric, Sebastian, and everything.  I stood there across from Brandon as ducks screamed somewhere in the background.

      "How did..." I managed to say before I choked up. I found myself quickly losing control.

      "Oh my god," Brandon said.  "I'm so sorry.  Eric told me everything.  I just can't believe it's you."

      I didn't know what to do.  I felt trapped.  Instinctively, I turned away from Brandon and began to walk away.  "Trevor," Brandon called after me.  He ran up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder.  "It's okay Trevor.  Come over here and sit down."  He led me over to one of the several stone benches that lined the sidewalk and we sat down, his hand still upon my shoulder.

      "How did you... How did you know?" I managed to ask.

      "Eric told me."  I just sat there staring out at the water.  I couldn't even bring my eyes to look at him.  "Okay, I guess I need to explain this to you," he said.  "I met Eric last year because he came to our homecoming dance with my good friend Sarah.  I can't really remember how she met him..."  He sat there and thought about it for a minute before realizing it didn't matter.

      "Anyway, he was always really nice to me and we got really close during the end of the first semester.  During the winter break he finally confessed to me that he was gay and that he liked me.  God, I can't even tell you how long I had wanted him to say that."  He looked over at me smiling ear to ear, but he quickly became serious again when he saw me staring away from him in silence.

      "One thing led to another and before I knew it, I had fallen in love with my first boyfriend."  He paused for a second and I finally looked over at him.  The lamp light was reflecting off his eyes and I could tell something was bothering him.  I didn't think much about it because I was still in shock.  I couldn't believe Brandon had gone out with Eric.

      "I wish I could say we had the perfect relationship, but I'm not going to lie.  There was always something wrong and I could never put my finger on it.  For one thing, we were always getting in fights because I was 'out' and he wasn't.  Sometimes it seemed that he was still debating in his mind whether he was really gay or not."

       His eyes narrowed and he shook his head slowly.  "It wasn't just that though.  There was something else about Eric that I couldn't figure out.  At times, there was a horrible coldness in him.  My friends saw it too, but we couldn't never figure it out.  I never figured it out until this summer when I was getting ready to move and we were going through a pretty hard time."

      "It was Sebastian," I said half to myself.

      He looked over at me and nodded.  "Eric simply couldn't come to terms with the fact that I was leaving him to come to college.  He would cry almost everyday and I never knew what to do with him.  And then one day, he broke down and told me everything.  He had never spoken of his twin brother and I couldn't believe my ears as Eric poured his heart out to me.  He told me about Sebastian and you and the horrible thing that he had done."  He let his voice trail off.

      He sat there and watched me as I stared out over the water, trying desperately to hold back tears that were forming in my eyes.  "He never forgave himself," Brandon said softly.  "I guess you couldn't either."

      "How could I?" I finally burst out, letting the tears roll down my face.  "He killed him.  He killed Sebastian."  I leaned over and placed my face in my hands after I had said it.  I didn't want to talk about this anymore.  I didn't want to think about Eric.

      Brandon reached over and placed his hand on my shoulder and stroked the fabric of my shirt lightly with his thumb.  We sat like that for a while and just feeling Brandon's hand upon me was really soothing.  "I had always sensed the darkness inside Eric," Brandon said, "but the cause of that darkness was almost to much to believe.  I felt so sorry for him, but I knew I had to leave him.  It was the hardest decision of my life to leave someone so frail and helpless like that.  He had been alone his entire life, and there I was, leaving him all alone once again to fight his own demons."

      I finally picked my head out of my hands and looked over at Brandon to find that tears were forming in his eyes as well.  His hand was still resting on my shoulder and he slowly turned to look at me.  I stared into his eyes as the light fog that had formed rolled by around us.  His glazed eyes seemed to glow with the reflection of a dozen street lamps.

      I don't know who moved first, but we were slowly bringing out faces toward each other, his eyes shutting as his lips moved within inches of mine.  I could already feel his light breath upon my cheek as I began to close my own eyes...

      A loud slamming noise pulled us back to reality as the sleeping ducks suddenly splashed to life in the water, screaming as they attempted to escape.  Brandon and I spun around to see Alex standing only a few yards away with his basketball in his hand.  He slammed it down on the pavement once again, louder than the first time.  There was something about the way he was looking at us that scared me to death.  "Hello boys," he said in a low, trance-like voice.  I instantly began wondering what he had just seen.

      "Hey Alex," Brandon said quickly, jumping to his feet.  "Where've you been?"  His voice betrayed his nervousness.

      "Playing basketball," he answered not taking his eyes off me.  I stood up as well and smiled to him.  "So Trevor, are you feeling better?"

      "Yeah, I feel a lot better.  Thanks."  He stood there a second studying me before slamming the ball down on the pavement again.

      "I was just heading back to my room.  Would you care to join me?"

      "Yeah, sure," I said, looking over at Brandon.  He just stared back nervously.  Alex turned around and began to head back toward the dorms, still slamming the ball down on the ground as hard as he could.  I rushed to catch up with him and Brandon followed.

      "You should have been out there tonight," Alex said to me as I came up beside him.  "Me and this guy Ryan challenged these two fraternity guys and we kicked their asses."  By the look on his face, he didn't seem very triumphant.  If anything, he looked pissed.

      "Yeah," I answered.  "I called to see if you were home, but I guess you had left already.  Maybe next time, huh?"

      "Oh yes," Alex said as we walked through the park, a grin finally twisting across his face.  "There will always be another fraternity guy to take on."  He turned and smiled wider to me, his eye glimmering with anticipation.  "And next time...."  He slammed the ball on the pavement again, his most unholy act breaking the serenity of this calm and peaceful place.

      "...we'll kill them."