Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1999 18:31:28 -0800 (PST) From: Bambi Ben Subject: Even When I Dream (highschool, m/m, t/t) EVEN WHEN I DREAM Chapter One: I had to get out. Their voices were just drilling into my brain and driving me insane. But what was worse than anything else was that they knew things about me. Things I hadn't told anyone else in my whole life and that's what scared me the most. Their shouts and snickering laughter would have split my head in two if I didn't get out of there FAST! So that's what I did. I found the nearest door and pushed my way out into the dusk. The silence hit me right away and I was more than grateful for it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and not have a heart attack. Running my fingers through my hair, I began to walk down the sidewalk, taking in my surroundings. I was in a pretty nice neighborhood, actually. The houses were pretty and the flowers lining the sidewalks were beautiful. It was a nice summer twilight and my spirits picked up as I walked down the street. All I could hear was the soft sound of crickets in the bushes and the evening breeze ruffling the grass. As I walked, I began to get away from the houses and the depression came back. I soon found myself in a large field in a park near my house. Tears ran down my cheeks as their words began to sink in. I could still hear them yelling at me and it hurt so bad. I saw faces in the crowd. Faces that included friends whom I'd known for a long time. People I saw everyday. Even my own father. God, it hurt. And they all yelled at me and treated me like I was nothing more than some piece of dogshit that had been thrown on some woman's wedding dress. What did I do? I kept asking myself that and I felt that heaviness in my chest and I sat down. I buried my face in my hands and began to sob. Why did they hate me so much? All I tried to be was their friend and I wanted to just live my life. But why couldn't they just understand that? "Hey, dude. Are you ok?" Came a voice from in front of me. I felt my heart flutter at the sound of the voice. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. It sounded like a symphony played by angels just for me. I sniffled and wiped my eyes with my hand and looked at the ground. "Seriously. Are you ok? You're scaring me..." There it was again. It was a deliciously husky voice with some masculine deepness but just enough boyish charm to melt my heart. Did I dare? I risked it and looked up. My breath left me. I gazed in awe at the adonis standing in front of me. He looked to be about 5'6" and he had the most beautiful blond hair I had ever seen. It was a golden wheat color that looked like it had been spun out of flaxen silk. It was about down to his earlobes and his bangs came down to his eyebrows. His voice snapped me out of it, "Well, at least you can recognize a voice. Thank god for that." That was when he smiled. I could have fained right then. His perfect white teeth accentuated his absolutely amazing smile. I looked into his emerald green eyes and I felt like I was falling. The dimple on his right cheek along with his adorable button nose was just more salt in the wound. No way that this beauty could be...interested in me. "Ummm... yeah." I stammered, "I'm not dead yet so that's a good thing. I just... I guess I feel kinda lonely." "Join the club. The thing is, you sounded a lot more than lonely a few seconds ago." The compassion in his voice almost sent me into tears again. He casually pointed to the ground next to me and asked, "Do you mind if I sit with you?" "Sure. Please do." He smiled at me and I took the opportunity to check the rest of him out. He was wearing Nike red cotton shorts and black Nike Air shoes. Up top, he had a white t-shirt and a pair of Ray-Bans were perched on his head. He sat down and wrapped his bronzed muscular arms around his knees. The toned muscles of his legs flexed under the velvety skin as he settled into his seat, and the remaining sunlight glinted off the light dusting of short blond hairs. The athletic watch on his wrist just added to his cuteness quotient, which was already sky high. "So... do you want to talk about it?" He asked, his voice sounding like melting butter. "I know it's none of my business but it might help if you talk about it." I looked forward into the pink sunset and I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. "Ummm...well... I just had a big fight with some people. They were railing me left and right and I just couldn't take it anymore. Most of 'em were friends of mine and that made it hurt more." My voice wavered and I bit my lip, trying not to turn into a total basketcase in front of my dream guy. "I guess they just didn't want to be my friends anymore. I didn't do anything. I just tried to be myself. I don't know what I did that was so wrong..." I couldn't hold it back and I began to cry like a baby. I buried my face in my arms and sobbed, not caring about my companion anymore, not caring about my friends anymore, not caring about LIFE anymore. "Hey, man. It's ok." He slid over and put his arm around me, "You don't need to worry about them anymore. They don't matter. If they can't accept you for you, who wants them as friends, right?" My sobs began to subside and I took great comfort in his presence. He hugged me and gently rested his cheek on the top of my head and I closed my eyes. There wasn't any attraction at this point, all that mattered was that I wasn't alone. Just then, he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "Besides, who needs homophobes when we've got each other, right?" Oh God, I almost fainted. Could he be... no. No way. This beautiful guy was not gay, or was he? I sat there confused but I soon felt a gently nibbling on my ear and my heart nearly stopped. He was lipping my ear lobe and ever so gently tickling it with the tip of his tounge. His hot breath on my ear was driving me wild. But I couldn't let myself go... "Whoa. Wait a second," I stuttered. "What are you-- who--" I was soon cutoff as he pressed his warm red lips to mine. I whimpered as he increased his suction and eased his hot tounge into my mouth. I felt it probe and explore every inch. He quickly darted it against the roof and I felt myself stiffen in my pants. But I couldn't. I put a hand on his chest, almost started by the firm muscular feeling beneath my hands. "Wait. Who are you" I gasped. "I'm your dream..." He looked me in the eyes and gently pressed his lips back onto mine. I felt his hand on the small of my back as he eased me onto the ground, into the grass. After what seemed like forever, he broke the liplock and kneeled between my spread legs. He tossed his sunglasses into the bushes and gently eased his hands under my t-shirt. The feeling of his strong soft hands on the flesh of my chest and belly sent waves of pleasure through me and out my rock hard cock. I could feel precum oozing into my boxers as he gently massaged my nipples. He smiled and pushed my shirt up above my head and off. With a naughty glint in his eyes, he brought his face to my neck and gently suckled. I closed my eyes and sighed as his hot mouth caressed me. I felt his lips travel down my neck and across my collarbone, covering the surface with soft babykisses. He brushed his lips across the flesh of my nipple, causing me to moan softly. He took this as a very big invitation and he opened his mouth and sucked on my hard bud, making me cry out with pleasure. As if he could make me any hotter, I felt him undo the button on my jeans and unzip the fly. He got up off my chest and pulled my shoes and socks off, then my baggy jeans. There I was in some damn field with only my damp boxers on in front of my dream guy. If I wasn't so hot, I'd be rather embarassed. I didn't have much time to think about it because in a flash, I was out of my boxers and naked to the world. The grass tickled my buttcheeks and the summer breeze felt so good on my body. My lover smiled again and continued to kiss my belly, gently licking over the button and sliding his tounge in and out. I felt my uncut cockhead rub against the soft warm flesh of his throat, wetting it with precum. He noticed and ran his tounge down to my pubic bush and ran his tounge through the coarse hairs. I shivered and prepared myself for the eventual orgasm that was going to quite possibly melt my balls. I closed my eyes and I felt him run his hand up my leg, and then the palm of his amazing hand cup my balls. I moaned as I sensed what was coming next. I felt his hot breath on the tip of my cock and then came his tounge. He licked all the way down my shaft, soaking all six inches and curling his tounge around it. I groaned and thrust my hips, sending more of my rock hard meat into his hot mouth. He took my thrusts and began to massage my balls while sucking on my cock, alternating between hard and gentle motions. He bobbed his head up and down and licked with his tounge, causing my body to jerk with pleasure the likes of which I'd never known. I cried out as I went gloriously over the edge and let myself cum. My hot load erupted into his mouth and he moaned, sending his hot breath onto my throbbing shaft. I must have spurted at least six times as my plump balls contracted in his hand. He swallowed as much as he could and some of my hot cum dibbled down his chin and onto his shirt. My lover milked the last cum out of my hard cock and released it from his heavenly grasp. He sat up slowly as I layed there gasping for breath. When I trusted myself to move, I sat up and looked at him, barely able to see his face in the dark night which had crept up on us. Even in the darkness, I could see him smile at me... *BZZT BZZT BZZT* Chapter Two: "Awwww God DAMN!" I muttered to myself as my alarm continued to growl at me. I shut it up and rubbed my eyes with my hand. I felt a familiar warm moistness under my crotch and I forced myself up off my stomach. Pushing the bedcovers off of me, I glanced in disgust at the dark wet spot on my light blue sheet. Knowing that wasn't all, I looked down and touched the wet spot on the front of my red boxer shorts. I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead as I pulled the sheet off of my bed, balled it up, and crammed it in my hamper. I trudged into my bathroom and looked in the mirror at myself. Why do I keep having that dream? I thought to myself. Why does the torture have to keep going on and on? He's never going to be with you so just give up. Why couldn't you be normal... like Jeffrey Dahmer. I turned away from my reflection with disgust and turned on the shower. About five minutes later, I came back into my room and pulled open my dresser. I pulled out a sweatshirt, an undershirt, jeans, and a pair of plad boxer shorts. I got dressed slowly and pulled my socks on. "JOSH! Are you up yet?" My mom yelled from downstairs. I loved the woman but her voice could be a like an icepick to my spinal cord sometimes. "YES! Hold on..." I shouted back and tied my Nike hiking boots and ran my fingers through my still damp brown hair. Another day in paradise, I thought to myself. * * * "And after the Japanese surrendered World War II, President Truman..." My US History teacher droned on and on as I sat there bored out of my skull. I looked down at the textbook and then at the clock. 11:47. Three more minutes until lunch. And then... I could spent over one hundred glorious minutes oogling at my dream guy. "Who can tell me the two cities that were bombed by the United States with the atom bomb? Anyone? How about YOU, Mr. Reid?" My teacher always assumed I wasn't paying attention. Just because I'm on the soccer team... "Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Bombed with Fat Man and Little Boy which were dropped by Enola Gay on August 6th and August 9th, respectively in the year of 1945, A.D." I held back a snicker and looked at the teacher who seemed perplexed yet again by my astounding knowledge of the subject. Won't she ever learn? Before she could try and rail me again, the bell rang and she dismissed the class. I crammed my books into my pack and strolled out the door. Bryan, one of the other guys in the class, caught up with me, "Way to stick it to the bitch, Josh! You poked her with a barbed wire dildo, huh?" I managed not to show my disgust as "Big Bry", as the in crowd liked to call him, hustled up the hall away from me. I pushed my way through the packed hallway and out into the student parking lot. I fished my keys out from my pocket and made my way over to the piece of crap that some people liked to call my car. I figured I'd just go to Burger King like usual. As I drove to the burger joint, I flipped on the radio and was met with the sounds of "As Long As You Love Me". I smiled involuntarily to myself as images of Nick Carter danced in front of my eyes and my cock soon responded in kind. "Think about baseball..." I repeated the mantra to myself and found blessed distraction in the drive-in to Burger King. As I pulled into line, I suddenly felt my stomach leap into my throat. One of the football jocks pushed his way out of his car with his ditzy girlfriend alongside him... but behind them... was Chris. My hands shook as I watched my blond god follow his older brother and girlfriend into the restaurant. Already at the school, I had kind of a rep for being a wild driver, so it didn't surprise any of the other drivers in the line as I swerved my car almost nintey degrees into a empty parking spot. As casually as I could, I strolled across the parking lot into the Burger King and cased the joint. I found Chris sitting by himself, eating at a table alone, undoubtedly because his brother wanted him as far away as possible. That idiot didn't know what he was missing! He could be around my crush any time he wanted to. He could spend quality time with him. Be his friend... I soon snapped out of my daze and walked over to the short line at the counter. I ordered my food and picked out a booth with a nice view of my hunk. It took only a few seconds for us to make eye contact. I almost melted when he smiled at me and nodded in that "'sup?" kinda way. All too soon, his older brother came over and told him in a not so nice way that it was time to leave. Instead of giving him time to finish up, he practically yanked my love out of the place by the collar! I could have beaten the shit out of him right then and there...but I didn't. I practiced non-violence and watched as they walked out. Chris called, "See ya in 6th period!" My stomach fluttered as he walked out the door and I sat there... swooning. My appetite wasn't quite the same so I took my watered down Sprite and walked out the door. Why can't love be easier? I sighed.