Disclaimer: This is a story about gay people...if you can't read it or

Don't like gay people, leave. Go...bye. But if you like it, read it and

Write to me.

Chapter 34: F, my future, there isn't one

"He's a jerk!"I said, comforting Hannah, "Most guys are."

I might be a guy, but that doesn't make me blind.

"I mean, of course I'm cheating on him too, but isn't that worse?" Hannah asked.

How in the Hell is either one worse.

"I know what you're thinking." Hannah said.

Oh God, I hope not.

"And you're right, I'm pregnant by him, but it was my best fr..." she stopped, "Umm, friend."

Idiot. Christina's a ho, she's no one's friend. Besides, I'm a better friend.

"You're a better friend, for just listening to me blubber about this." Hannah said, "And he wants to stay together, for the baby, which I'm still not sure if it's his."

Drama Queen!

Hannah hugged me, "Thank you." She said.

I'm such a softie.

-           

Hannah stood in her doorway, wondering if she should be there. It hurt to even breathe. It hurt even more that she was cheating too. The guilt had all but faded away. A normal person would feel less guilty, she thought. But not her, she felt even worse. It was like karma and how she had reacted when they told her.

"You what!" Hannah yelled, "You son of a bitch! You're screwing around with this hussie while I'm pregnant?!"

"You're pregnant?" Zack asked.

"The good thing is that it's probably not yours!" Hannah shouted, "You know what, get out! Get the fuck out of this house!"

"Hannah..." Christina began.

"And you, you little slut," she said, slapping her, "Get out of my house."

Christina looked at her, wounded, and left.

"What are you waiting for?" Hannah asked.

"We need to talk about..." he stretched his hand to her.

She swatted his hand away and slapped him, "Fine, I'll leave." She said, leaving.

I wasn't stupid, she thought, He deserved that.

But so did she. She was cheating too and now, as a product of her cheating, she was pregnant and didn't know who the daddy was. At the moment, it was 50/50. Hannah's affair started after she and Zack had began to have problems. It was one rainy night and Zack left to be with his buddies and she'd gone to her mother and father's home in search of help, but found Harry and Marco there. Marco was sleep and Harry had a bowl of popcorn and was sitting in front of the TV. It was all innocent, until it wasn't.

§   

I sat in the doctor's office, trying to fill out this questionnaire. It was so stupid, if I ever heard voices, why would I tell them? It was so stupid, these feelings, why should I even be here? What gives me the right to feel this way? The door opened the doctor walked in, smiling. She was young, in her twenties, but still old enough to look credited. She smiled. It made me uncomfortable. It made me nervous.

"Did you finish that questionnaire?" she asked.

"I, umm, yeah." I said, handing it to her.

"I'll be right back." She said, leaving.

I was less nervous about being here. It was less nerve splitting to be alone. That's why I hadn't brought anyone.

The doctor returned, still smiling.

"What's the diagnosis, doc?" I asked.

The doctor's smile faded a little, but was still there, "Inconclusive." She said, "It could be a lot of things."

"How do we get more specific?" I asked.

"Well, we could try medication, try process of elimination." She said.

"How would that work? I just take random pills until..." I said.

"How long have you felt this way?" the doctor asked.

"I think it started before my junior year, I just have been really up and down and...down." I explained.

"How down? Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" The doctor asked.

I shook my head, "Just thoughts, I've never really wanted to." I said.

"Are you sure?" The doctor asked.

"How do we...what do we do now?" I asked.

-           

Christina and Zack sat in her room. Zack had no place to go and Christina didn't feel up to going anywhere. It was the oddest feeling, to know that a big secret is finally out there, there was relief, there was a positive feeling, but there was major guilt.

"Why are you here?" Christina asked.

Zack sighed, "I don't have anywhere to go." He said quickly.

"You could always go home...to your wife." Christina said.

"My wife's not at home." Zack said.

Christina groaned, "Not my problem." She said quickly.

"And she's pregnant...did you know?" Zack asked.

"Nope." Christina said, "Can you please get out of my house?"

"Chris, how can you be so cold?" Zack asked.

"Cold? Cold? You're asking me now? I slept with my best friend's husband and now you're wondering how I could be so cold? Look around, the world's not warm." Christina shouted, "My own brother is blackmailing me."

"Not too late to change." Zack said.

"Maybe, but I really don't feel like changing now so can you please get out of my house?" Christina said with frustration.

Zack nodded and reluctantly left.

-           

"And what do you expect me to do about this?" Ballard asked.

"Not you," Zack said, turning to Davis, "You."

"Sorry," Davis said, lifting weights, "But I have as much control over my boyfriend as you have over your wife."

"There's got to be something you can do." Zack said, "I messed up, but everybody messes up and I haven't done it."

"I hate it when guys beg." Ballard chuckled, "Grow some balls and march in there and tell her you're staying."

"Then she'd leave." Zack said.

"Besides, I haven't seen or talked to him today." Davis sighed, "And he really wouldn't want me helping you."

"Look, you screwed Christina, who hasn't." Ballard said, pumping iron, "I'd go with begging."

"Never works." Zack said.

Both Ballard and Davis put up their weight.

"Look, I really need some help here." Zack said.

"Why'd you even tell her in the first place?" Ballard asked.

"Adaen." Zack said.

"Adaen knew?" Davis asked.

"He found out and said if we didn't, he would." Zack explained.

"That's my boy, always..." Ballard said.

"Righteous." Zack said.

"Yeah, pretty much." Ballard smirked.

"Look, I hope you're not blaming my boyfriend." Davis said defensively, "He didn't put you on top of Christina."

"It wasn't long ago that you were on top of Christina." Zack said, "Besides, if he hadn't heard us..."

"Then you would have still been lying." Davis said, "You did the right thing."

"The stupid thing, the stupid, noble thing." Ballard smirked, "The pathetically stupid, noble thing."

"Okay, so I take that as you're not going to help me?" Zack asked.

"More like we can't." Ballard said, "Sorry." He smirked.

"Fine." Zack said, leaving.

Davis looked at Ballard, "You going soft?" he asked.

"I never go soft, ask any girl around this berg." Ballard smirked.

-           

"Please tell me you're kidding." Kendall said, staring at Christina with disbelief. They sat in Christina's room, staring at each other. One stare was a look of disbelief, the other was of fear.

Christina shook her head, "Nope." She said.

"You've been sleeping with Zack?" Kendall asked.

"A long time ago." Christina said, "Before I was her friend."

"Then you made friends with her?" Kendall asked, "This is...Chris, they're married."

"I know."

"And she's your friend." Kendall said.

"I know."

"And it's wrong." Kendall said quickly.

"I fucking know that!" Christina lashed out, "Don't you think I fucking know that, but it happened and I can't take it back."

"And Adaen figure out?" Kendall asked.

"He overheard us and threatened to tell if we didn't." Christina explained.

"I can't believe that, it was wrong, but it hurt more people than it should have." Kendall said, "Maybe it would have been better if this had stayed secret."

"Maybe? Of course it would have been better! We shouldn't have listened to Adaen, he's such an asshole!" Christina exclaimed, watching Kendall head for the door, "Where are you going?"

"To see a guy about some stuff." Kendall said, leaving.

-           

As I stumbled into the house, I was treated to an argument. Just what I needed. I ignored Kya and Jonathan and walked into the kitchen, popping open the bottle of Symbyax and pouring myself a glass of water. The doctor had prescribed them. It had been a tough day.

"What are those?" Hope asked.

I popped the pill in my mouth and swallowed, "None of your fucking business." I growled.

"Wow, somebody's got him grumpy pants on." Hope smirked.

"Don't you have some diabolical plan you should be executing?" I asked.

"I do." Hope said, "But nothing pressing, where'd you get the pills?"

"Are mom and dad home?" I asked.

"If they were, do you think they'd be letting the screaming match go on in their living room?" Hope asked.

"Probably be right there with them." I said.

"So you know." Hope asked.

"Know what?" I asked.

"You know." Hope said.

"That they're fighting more these days? Yeah, I noticed." I said.

"Not more, that's pretty much all they do." Hope said, "But then again, you're always with you spiffy new boyfriend."

"And you're always here with it?" I asked, offering her a pill.

"No thanks, what are they?" Hope asked.

"If I tell you, you're sworn to secrecy." I said.

Hope thought about it.

"What is it that you have against me anyways?" I asked.

"What don't I have against you?" Hope asked.

I groaned, "Can you please just be human for a minute?" I asked.

"Okay, you got exactly one minute." Hope smirked.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"Your boyfriend, your friends...your head on a platter." Hope smirked.

I sighed, then chuckled, "You're a bitch, know that?" I smirked.

"Yeah, or so I've been told." Hope said, "Point?"

"Point is unless you wanna find yourself at the bottom of a really deep pit, you're going to be an actual human being." I said angrily.

"Or." Hope said.

"No ors, just a really dead death." I said.

"Like you would." Hope said, leaving.

"Oh, the fun." I said, hearing the doorbell. I walked back into the living and saw the fighting parents, "No, don't worry, I'll get it." I said sarcastically. I picked the baby and played with her on the way to the door. I figure her being around two screaming adults wasn't the best situation. I opened the door to see Kendall, "Hey, Ken."

"What did you do?" Kendall asked.

"Nuclear science?" I asked.

"It didn't just hurt Chris and Zack, it hurt Hannah." Kendall said angrily.

"It's not like I'm the one who did anything, I wasn't rooting them on!" I said.

"How can you be so casual about this? We get it, you're honest but sometimes you have to spare people." Kendall said.

"This isn't about me, Kendall, this is about Christina and Zack and Hannah." I said dismissively.

"Come on, you just wanted this to hurt Zack, and maybe even Hannah." Kendall said.

"Why would I want to hurt Hannah?" I asked.

"We both know she hurt you really bad, but there was a better way." Kendall said.

"Lying? That's you're better way? God, you are an idiot." I said.

Kendall stared in disbelief, "So you're saying I'm an idiot for sparing your best friend's feelings?"

"Yeah." I said simply.

"Why?" Kendall asked, "What if you cheated once and didn't mean it and..."

"It wasn't one time." I said.

"I know but..."

"And since when did you turn back over to the darkside?" I asked.

"Since you took up the position of bitch." Kendall said, "Grand high bitch."

"For telling the truth? What about your other friend, the one who slept with her friend's husband? At least I know enough that the truth will always save you." I growled.

"Not always. It always works out for you, but Chris is different." Kendall said, "The truth is condemning her."

"You know, maybe that's why she's such a loser, maybe you leaving didn't have as much of an effect on her that you thought. Maybe it was guilt that made her go all Girl, Interrupted and start popping pills and doing anything she could sniff." I said, "That's what's eating you up and you can't deal with that." I said quickly.

"God, you might just take my crown for Bitch of the Year." Kendall said with disgust.

"I think you better leave, or you're really going to see a bitch in action...or, the male equivalent." I said, opening the door for her.

She shook her head as she walked to the door. She turned to say something, but I shut the door. I walked back up to my room.

-           

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Please give me some feedback because that's how I get started. So, I want you guys to tell me how I'm doing.