Disclaimer: This is a story about gay people...if you can't read it or
Don't like gay people, leave. Go...bye. But if you like it, read it and
Write to me.
"So class. This is a very special friend of mine." Michael smiled, "This is Adaen Lawrence."
There was a collective whisper throughout the class. I had agreed to come his class to talk about my high school experience. And I had experience in being in a choir in high school. I thought I could help. Hell, it was a cakewalk. If I could make it out of high school, letting others see it was no problem.
"Hi guys." I smiled.
"No offense, but he's a writer. What does he know about singing?" An asian girl asked. She was pretty.
"I wasn't always a writer." I said.
"So, what were you?" A blonde girl asked.
I leaned into Michael, "She serious?" I asked.
"He was actually a really good singer." Hope said, "I think we should give him a chance."
"Maybe Hope is right, I mean...we should give him a chance." A white guy with orange hair said. He was wearing a letter jacket, so I assumed there was sportage.
"Oh shut up, we all know you'd agreed with anything hope said." The asian girl said.
"Kids..." Michael warned.
"Guys, let's hear him out." A thick black girl said.
"Right. I'm a writer but I know music." I smirked, "Music is a part of all of us. Cliché? Yeah, but it's true."
"What does this have to do with competition?" The jock asked.
"Well, we all have music in us. And it's fun. If you're not having fun, you probably won't have much success." I said, "The music is in you. You just have express it."
"Now class, we've assembled because we're a few weeks away from regionals. Go out and find a song that best represents you. That's the homework." Michael smiled.
Chapter 58: The Mirror with No Name
[The beat to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac starts]
I stood at a mirror in the living room while Ben sat behind me at the coffee table talking about projections of how well the books would sell. I let him talk because he was kind of caught up in what he was saying. It was a beautiful day outside. I watched my reflection, trying to distinguish me from the person I was looking at.
Adaen: Took this love and I took it
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down
I turned and walked over to the window and looked out.
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
And can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oh oh I don't know, oh I don't know
I walked past him again, aware that he was saying something I should be listening to.
Adaen: Well, I've been
afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so
I sat in a chair and looked off into space.
So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down, down
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
Well well, the landslide will bring you down
[The beat for Landslide ends]
"Did you say something?" Ben asked.
"No." I smiled.
"I'll have a caramel frap." I said, standing in line at Starbucks. Ben had come back and insisted I go back to New York with him. He said it was for the good of the book. I had decided, however, to stay in Hargrove. Home was a better fit. I'd done the traveling. Besides, I had to stay for the wedding. I hadn't decided if I was going to object yet. When I'd finally gotten my coffee, I turned to walk off and bumped right into someone.
"You should watch where you're going."
I was about to let loose a stream of obscenities when I noticed the voice and face of the person. My mouth visibly dropped.
"I'm not sure if that's the reaction I was looking for." Davis smiled, "I mean, I get it a lot, but..."
"Davis Marchall!" I said, throwing myself on him, "When did you get here?"
"Just a few hours ago." Davis smiled, "I came to your mom's house but you were gone."
I took a look at him. He was still ripped and had that same sexy smile. His eyes were behind sunglasses but I could imagine his eyes. His dark hair was now a little shaggy under his hat but it was a cute shaggy. He looked to have grown a little more, maybe 6'3 or `4.
"Sunglasses and a hat? Incognito." I asked.
"You'd be surprised. I almost caused a riot in a coffee shop in L.A. and did I mention I'm an action figure?"
"I had noticed." I smiled.
"You want to sit down?" He asked.
I nodded and we headed over to the table by the window. At first I was nervous but he quickly broke the ice in my favorite way.
"So, I'm not the only one who's famous." Davis smiled, "And you look great."
"Yeah, I'm cherry for someone who hates to work out." I smirked.
"So, besides changing the world with your writing, what have you been doing?" Davis asked, "And why haven't you kept in contact with me?"
"I could ask the same question." I smiled, "I mean...why are you here?"
Davis chuckled, "I'm an athlete." He smiled, "We just finished playing in Dallas and I came over to see about Marco and Hannah."
"My dad told me about his mom." Davis said, "I haven't see him yet. I saw you and..."
"How do you know the exact time to come into my life?" I asked.
"Nothing." I smiled, "So, I assume you've heard about Marco and Julie getting married."
"Whoa, what?! He...but what about you?"
I looked at him oddly.
"Sorry. I just thought that's why you were here. To be with him and his mother." Davis said.
"No. Wanna be my date to his wedding?" I asked.
"Are you trying to use me?" Davis asked, "I could get use to this."
I chortled, "I'm not using you. I just asked if you wanted a date." I smiled.
"Any chance I could get some afterwards?" Davis asked.
"Had to try." Davis smiled, "When is it?"
"Next week." I said.
"This must be killing you." Davis said.
"I'm a big boy." I frowned, "I'm drinking heavily and abusing pills."
Davis looked taken aback.
"I'm kidding. I'm a writer, so it wouldn't be so far off." I smiled, "I'm dealing."
"I have a lot of questions." Davis smiled, "But it'll have to wait. I'm meeting Marco."
"Of course. I should be getting to the school anyways." I said quickly, "I'm helping the choir."
Davis looked amused.
"I sang." I chuckled.
"I remember. When you were happy. Innocent." Davis said, "We should meet up later."
"Text me." I smiled, watching him leave.
I was walking down the corridor when I stopped at the space just before the library. I was sent spiraling back to the day Harmon came to the school and changed everything. I stood at the library window, looking in. I know I must have looked like a total goober, but the memories of that day flooded me. It was like another life and here I was so much older and wiser. I was reminiscing when I heard a yelp. I backed up and looked down another corridor to see a group of girls standing around something. I walked closer to see that they were standing around a girl. She was portly, but pretty in the face. She didn't have the most hip clothes on and she standing her ground against the girls, but they were taunting her. They were calling her a cow and fat whore. They were teasing her fashion sense. As I walked closer, they noticed me and scattered like roaches.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
The girl looked shaken and near tears, "Leave me alone." She said.
It was then that I remembered her from class. Her name was Rebecca.
"I can take care of myself. I don't need help from a faggot!" she said, brushing past me.
"Okay, I've seriously got to stop helping people." I frowned.
I walked back to Michael's class and stood before the class with Michael again. He welcomed them back and announced that today, someone had to sing. He asked for volunteers and no one answered at first but one hand raised. It was Rebecca. She looked more composed but still shaken.
"Becca, you have something?" Michael asked.
Becca stood in front of the class for a few minutes before her music started and she swayed back and forth.
[Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie starts]
Becca: I need some shelter
of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
She started off just swaying a little.
Michael singing chorus: And big girls don't cry
She then began swaying harder and her voice began to shift out of nervousness.
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Suddenly, her hands were making motions and her nervousness had faded away and she was giving a full performance.
But its time for me to go
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
And big girls don't cry.
"That's what I'm talking about!" Michael said, hugging her, "You guys need to bring it like Becca."
Becca smiled. I smiled too. I hadn't forgotten what she said, but I was giving her due respect. If the rest of the kids could sing like this, there would be no need for nervousness. She hit a home run with this song. While a group of students was working with Michael, I sat in the chairs with Peter, Hope, and a few other students.
"So, Becca was really good." Peter said.
"So not better than me." Hope said.
"Me either, but good." Peter smiled, "Shame what happened to her."
"Yeah, she always seemed nice." Hope said.
"What happened to her?" I asked.
"Well, one of the pigs on the football team slept with her on a bet and took pictures." Hope said, "He is such a pig."
"Sounds like high school, just like I remember it." I frowned, "So, that's why they were calling her a whore."
"Who?" Peter asked.
I got up and walked over to the seat beside Becca and sat down. She seemed on edge a little and sat alone, not speaking with anyone. She jumped a little and looked at me.
"Are you...I didn't mean what I said earlier." Becca said quietly, "I don't feel that way about anyone. Gay is normal...I think."
"It's okay." I said, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. They always...and with what happened..."
"I heard." I said, "You know it doesn't make you a whore and you don't deserve to be treated the way they're treating you."
"I'm not a whore, it was only my first time."
I looked at her incredulously, "Really?" I asked.
"Guys aren't exactly jumping in line..."
"Don't say stuff like that." I frowned, "You are beautiful."
"Maybe if I lost some weight and..."
"As you are." I said, "And if you need proof, look at your music."
Becca looked at me, "That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me." She smiled.
"Listen, if you need friends," I pointed to Peter and Hope, "Two of the best friends you could have and they don't care if you're big or little, beautiful or anything else."
"Thank you." Becca said.
"You're amazing." I smiled.
"So, Davis is back?" Ballard yawned plopping down on the couch, "And your boyfriend is in town while your ex is getting married?"
"Yes, and I'm sitting here talking to my ex." I smirked.
"Who haven't you dated?" Ballard asked, "Technically we didn't date."
"Hargrove is getting a little crowded." I said, "But you should have seen this girl at school."
I had told him the story about Becca, to which he just stared at me. He was skeptical about the relationship between Mike and I, which was understandable. I wasn't sure about it either. I didn't really have male friends that I didn't sleep with. I mean...
"And you still helped her after she called you a faggot?" He asked.
"I'm still friends with you and you called me a faggot more than that." I smirked.
"That's so...it's different." He said seriously, "We've changed."
"She didn't mean it and apologized." I smiled.
"I never really did. I'm sorry." Ballard said quickly, "I was a dick because I didn't understand."
"It's cool, I mean—" I paused at a sharp pain in my butt. I lifted myself off the couch and picked up a shiny little piece of gold, "Hey, an earring."
Ballard leapt up and grabbed it, "Yeah, it is." He said.
"So, you have been getting some. Wouldn't be Ballard if you didn't." I smiled, "Who is she? Or he. Or...it."
"Listen, I don't want to talk about it." Ballard said, "I mean it."
"Are you like, in love?" I asked slowly.
"We're not going to talk about this." Ballard said.
"Fine but are we not going to talk about it ever?" I asked.
Ballard took a swallow of his beer, "Adaen, I don't..." he started.
"I have a meeting with Ben anyways." I frowned.
"Before you go, you're not going to break up Marco's wedding, are you?" Ballard asked.
I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah because that's totally me." I frowned.
"Your mom has a nice place." Ben smiled, "I mean, I've been here before and all, but..."
"We agreed to not get personal." I frowned.
"I'm sorry, ya know." Ben said, "I never intended you to hear that conversation."
"That's so sweet." I frowned.
"You know the sad truth about it. I would have stayed if I hadn't heard that conversation." I chuckled, "I would have stayed and released a book and probably married you or something. I would have ended up your money machine and been so miserable."
"So, instead, you come here and become miserable?" Ben asked, "I talked to your cousin, Peter."
"It's funny that you never listen. He's not my cousin." I smirked, "He's a family friend."
"Still." He said walking to me, "You know, you're more than a money machine to me."
Ben grabbed me by the shoulders, "No, it's true. I mean, we were never in love, but I think of you as my friend, no matter what I tell me father." He chuckled, "He doesn't understand. He wishes I was someone else."
"I've noticed." I frowned, "You know, you're a good guy when you don't listen to him."
"He's my dad, ya know?" Ben sighed.
I nodded and looked out the window to see Marco staring in. He turned to walk away. I told Ben to hold the thought and walked outside and called out to Marco, who turned to me reluctantly and stared at me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I came to apologize for being a dick to you. Nice surprise." He frowned.
"Like a wedding?" I asked.
"You asked me not to marry her because you love me. But you can't love me and Davis and him." Marco said angrily.
"I don't. I asked you to not marry Julie because I love you and I do. Haven't you learned by now not to take what you see to heart." I frowned.
"Doesn't matter." Marco said, turning to leave.
"Don't you wanna stay?" I asked.
[The beat for Don't You Wanna Stay by Kelly Clarkson begins]
Marco: I really hate to let this moment go
Touching your skin, and your hair falling slow
When a goodbye kiss, feels
I shivered a little at his voice. He turned to me and stared me in the eye.
Adaen: Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast
I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last
When you're on this high, it's a sad goodbye.
I walked to him and placed my hand on his chest.
Adaen & Marco: Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way
Don't you wanna stay?
Marco paused. I did too. The silence was killing both of us. He turned and walked back to his car, leaving.
"Don't you wanna stay." I said quietly. I walked back in to see Ben hurrying from the window. I sat on the living chair adjacent to the sofa.
"That was brutal." Ben said.
"Tell me about it." I said looking down.
"Your sister was watching too. She found it brutal too." Ben said, "Because it was so brutal."
"I think you should leave, Ben." I said.
"Yeah, I'll come back tomorrow." Ben said.
"No. You should leave this state." I frowned.
There was a pause.
"You weren't wrong. I'm better when I'm not my father, but there is a piece of him in me." Ben said, "He's an ass, but he's also stubborn and smart. I'm not leaving you. You're my money machine." He chuckled.
I smirked, "If you're gonna stay, I need you to be yourself. Be honest." I said.
"Honestly...you have some spectacular chemistry with that Marco guy, but he's getting married in like a week. You should move on." He said, standing up, "You deserve better." He said leaving.
I turned to see Jennifer.
"We may not be friends anymore, but you deserve more." Jennifer said.
"We'd still be together if you hadn't made me..."
"You had a choice. Kendall and Christina or your relationship and you chose those skanks. You're still choosing those skanks." Jennifer frowned, "Surprisingly, you cut me off and after all they've done and are still doing, you're still their friend."
"They were never your level of cruel." I said quickly.
"They were never at my level of honesty." Jennifer said.
"That's how you rationalize it, isn't it? Honesty. You want honesty? How about the fact that you have no friends because you're a backstabbing, sneaky bitch." I said, "You know the sucky part though, I really thought you were my friend. I would have defended everything you'd done but you did it to me."
Jennifer looked shocked. She was mulling over what I just said.
"I know there's a person in there somewhere. I just hope that person reaches the surface before somebody kills you." I said, leaving.
"Yeah. So, action figures, bobbleheads, and a book. Not bad Clide." Davis smiled, leaning back in his chair, "I have that visit to Hargrove high Thursday and my brother's wedding in a week; I need to be at my best both times."
"Sure thing, Dave." Clide said, "Ever since we got here, you've been happy. Glad to see you happy again, Dawg."
"Yeah? No kidding." Davis smiled, "I like being back here. The location and..."
"The guy?" Clide asked, "I don't get being a homo, but if it makes you happy, I say it's all good."
"You can see that?" Davis asked.
"Man, everybody can." Clide said.
I had been coming up the stairs and heard most of it and knocked on the door. Clide opened the door and let me in. He then excused himself and left Davis, who greeted me with a hug.
"So, you're getting another action figure?" I asked.
"Kung-fu grip!" Davis chuckled, "Did Mom let you in?"
"Yeah, I was surprised that your parents are going to Marco's wedding." I said, "I mean...it's confusing."
"I'm just as confused." Davis shrugged, "I'm glad you came but why are you here?"
I smiled at him. I walked over and kissed him, to which he pulled back. He stood for a minute and grabbed me into a hug, which is when he started sucking on my neck.
[The beat for Motivation by Kelly Rowland begins]
Adaen: Oh lover, don't you dare slow down
Go longer, you can last more rounds
Push harder, you're almost there now
So go lover, make daddy proud.
Davis and I groped me, kissing me again. This time, I pulled away.
Davis: You can't stop there
Music still playing in the background
And you're almost there
You can do it, I believe in you, baby
So Close from here
I walked back over and threw myself into his arms again.
Both: Baby, I'ma be your motivation
Go, Go, Go, Go
Go, Go, Go, Go
Davis pushed me away, "This is just a reaction to Marco and Julie." He said, "As much as it pains me to say this...we can't do this."
I looked at him slowly. He was right. I just needed somebody, anybody.
"So, this is what we've come up with so far." Michael said, "You guys ready?"
The choir nodded.
[The beat for You're Not Alone by Saosin begins]
Hope: It's just like him
To wander off in the evergreen park
Ballard stood and walked to the door upon hearing his doorbell ring. He smiled to himself and inhaled and exhaled quickly. He opened the door to see Christina. He welcomed her into his home and waited until he closed the door before he pounced on her. They began kissing so hard that both forgot anything they were going to say.
Peter: Slowly reaching for any sign
Of the ones he used to love...
Marco sat beside his mother's bed. He was trying to make sense of everything and anything. His mother wasn't getting any better and he felt terrible. Nothing was going right. The words that Adaen spoke stayed in his head. `Don't you wanna stay?'. He did want to stay. He did.
Becca: He says he's got nothing left to live for
Peter: He says he's got nothing left.
Hope: This time I think you'll know...
Choir: You're not alone
There is more to this, I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell
Davis wasn't accustomed to not getting what he wanted, not lately. Not ever, in fact. The fact that he'd just done the right thing eluded him. Why had he just done that? He'd been with other guys on the road, but what was so special about Adaen? Everything.
Becca: She's just like him
Confused by the lies she's been fed
And she's searching for no one but herself
Julie sat in front of a mirror, looking at herself. This wasn't the first time she felt bad. This was just the longest amount of time she'd felt that way. Her plans were working, but did she really want it that bad? She'd never been this way before. Julie loved Marco, but Marco loved Adaen, that much was clear. She shook the doubt away. She was going to get what she wanted. Screw everything else.
Peter: This is more to this, I know.
Hope: You can make it out.
Becca: You will live to tell.
I sat in my room in front of my computer. Less than a week before the wedding and nothing was more confusing. I couldn't figure out, for the first time in a long time, what was right. My heart was pulling me in two directions. Davis had showed how much he cared for me with his actions earlier. Marco was my heart. I needed to move on. There was my decision. I need to move past this.
Choir: You are not alone.
You're not, you're not alone.
I stood and clapped, "That was perfect." I smiled.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Please give me some feedback because that's how I get started. So, I want you guys to tell me how I'm doing.