Date: Thu, 01 Jul 1999 07:08:15 PDT From: LORD DRACUL Subject: Every Day Magic This is a story about teen suicide in a small town. It is a serious issue and I hope that by Reading this it will help all of you over come and be celebrant in your lives. After all a life is an open book that must have you to author it. Thank you and you may contact me At Lordracul@hotmail.com with any comments. Every Day Magic By Lord Dracul What is it that we seek from life? I had asked my grandfather and father this question at a very early age. Neither of them unfortunately knew the answer and my father being the wise man that he was took me outside and pointed tot he road ahead: "This is where your life began son but down there somewhere, down the road, is where your life will truly start." Looking up into my father's face I wondered what he meant. I had a perfect life here with him. No worries whatsoever. Thanking my father I decided to into town to kill some time after all today was Saturday and I didn't have to return to work until Monday. It's hard living in a small town especially here in Paulete not much to do especially when you're different from the rest. Not many people in this small town is gay and if they are they would never openly admit it. My father knew I was gay and knowing that I was mature enough to handle a relationship he encouraged me to find some one to spend my time. But we both knew that living here Paulette it would be highly unlikely that I would find someone to spend my time with at least some one to truly love me. My name is Jeremy and I'm eighteen today, I have brown hair dark eyes and stand about 5'9 and weigh 165lbs soaking wet. I tried out for the track team at the highschool and failed, then tried out for the football team and that also was a failure. Life for me seemed to be nothing but failures, why should finding a lover be any different here in Dullsville. Dad had told me that I had a lot going for me though, and I remember him laughing when I asked him what they were. He said, "Boy you inherited my good looks and my work ethic." Knowing this didn't help matters much. Sure, I was good looking and I wouldn't starve to death but yet I woke up every morning to an empty bed with nothing else to look forward too except work and school. That empty bed like my heart was something that I constantly prayed would be filled and having all these thoughts running around in my head made it a long walk into town. As previous days before I found myself walking this lonely road not praying for a miracle but just some of the good Lord's every day magic. Arriving at Jone's Diner, the local hangout for kids in Paulette I sat down in a worn out booth feeling disheartened and lonely, always lonely. Sarah walked up to me and smiled, "What'll it be suga'?" "I'll have a hamburger, fries and coke thank you ma'am." "Be here in a few Jeremy. Cheer up would you, you made my day by calling me ma'am." With that she vanished in the back to give Felix my order. Soon my food arrived and I only played with it not really wanting it. I found the more I sat there the more disappointed I became and then a thought occurred to me, one that I had pushed far back in my mind, it suddenly demanded to be heard - suicide. Some how I knew that today would be my last day on Earth and my last day to visit this diner. I paid for my food and left Sarah a big tip, she had written in large red letters on my bill "Happy birthday Jeremy." I thanked her and left. Fifteen minutes had passed since I left Jone's place and now I was standing on the edge of Smith Bridge looking down over the Paulette River. The bridge was nothing spectacular to look at if any thing it was a great eyesore of functionality. I had looked at my watch before leaving and now looked at it again, it had been 3:00 p.m. when I arrived at Jone's Diner and now it was 3:15pm here at the bridge. Looking out over the crystal, clear water I found it to be perfectly serene. I had many happy memories here. I caught my first big catfish on this very same spot some ten years ago with my grandfather and he was so happy for me that he hugged me and when we got back into town he took me for some ice cream and pizza. Grandpa hated pizza but he knew that I loved it and that's all that mattered to him that day. Moving closer to the edge of the bridge my favorite Bible verse flooded into my mind, Isaiah 40:31: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they Shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be Weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Yeah, that's what I wanted to do, fly like an eagle across God's blue sky. I stretched out my arms and then bent my knees getting myself ready to fly when I heard a Mark Raymond's voice. "Jeremy what're you doing over there. You know this is a no eagle zone man besides this bridge is too high for diving and if you jump there you'll smash your brains out on those rocks." "I'm going for a swim Mark, at least not one that I'll be able to run home and dry off from." Mark had come to the bridge to relax and fish before his football practice. He had been named the school's all-star quarterback standing six feet tall and weighing two hundred pounds of solid all- American muscle. He looked happy with his blonde hair shinning in the sun and apparently he had other things on his mind because his nine-inch cock was hard in his jeans. Thinking about him almost made me forget why I came here in the first place. Looking back over the water I decided to step off of the bridge. "Come on Jeremy, man, you don't want to be doing that on your birthday can't you find something more relaxing than something so final. Hey, man, I got another pole if you wanna fish." He grabbed his cock seductively as he spoke to me. Seeing him do that made my cock harden in my jeans and I decided it wasn't worth it after all if this hunk was willing to let me "fish." Turning away from the bridge my foot slipped out from under me. All of a sudden I no longer wanted to die. "Help me Mark!" As I was falling I managed to grab a hold of the edge of the bridge but knew that I wouldn't be able to hold on too long. "Shit!" was all I heard Mark say and saw his pole fly over the edge of the bridge and watching it fall I knew that would be me soon. Suddenly I felt his strong arms lifting me up from the edge of the bridge and straight up into the safety of his strong arms. He held me close to him and then stepping back away from the edge of the bridge into safety he bent his head down and kissed me. I melted in heaven. "Jeremy don't you ever do that to me again." He scolded. "To you, I thought I was doing it to me." I mocked. "No, I came here today hoping you would be here so that I could tell you how I felt about you since gradeschool, it was gonna be your birthday present from me." "I didn't think any one knew I was alive in gradeschool, let alone you Mark." "I noticed you the first time I saw you Jeremy." And he hugged me tighter. Needless to say, we left the bridge together that day and moved away to Chicago. Now two years later Mark and I stand once again on the Smith Bridge. Not jump mind you, but to give thanks for some every day magic that brought us together. You see if I had jumped that day two years ago I would have lost the most important thing to me, the love of my life, Mark. Holding each other tightly we watch the sun set on a new beginning of our lives together. The End This maybe the end of this story but do not allow today to be the ending of your story, life is a great book filled with love, mystery and hope, but dear reader I can't write your story it takes you to do it. If you find yourself in the same situation that Jeremy did then find some one to talk to who will listen to you. Here is a number that you can call and speak to some one who help you 1-800-522-8336 or in Canada 1-800-999-9999. Please get help somewhere.