Chapter 4

“Man. Stop playing. I was fucking April though?”

I look over at Yuri at that moment. The look on his face says it all.

“Why would I joke about something like that bruh?” he asks shaking his head, “You was fucking our adopted mom. I told you it was fucked up but you laughed. You was a....”

He doesn't say it. He just stands there.

Then I realize I'm looking at Yuri. He looks half Asian and half black. He has beige skin and a brown complexion. He is the lightest in the family but that still makes him a sexy shade of brown that you can tell he has to be mixed with black. He has these sexy slanted oval eyes. He is about my size with cocked up muscles. I'm watching myself getting turned on by this dude. I'm watching the soap cascade down his body. His muscles flex under the shower as the water goes down to a thin patch of pubic hair. I am watching him in the showers as he is cleaning off. The water brings out his muscle definition. The sexiest part on Yuri is his chest. He has this massivy tight chest and pecs that just causes me to drool. The kind of pecs you just want to go over and squeeze a few times...

Then I realize it and I say it out loud. I admit it.

“I'm a hoe.”

Yuri shakes his head, “You said it not me. At least you can admit it now. Before you used to say you were a ladies' man...or some bullshit.”

Ladies' man. It's funny now that all I can seem to do is be attracted to dudes.


I'm hardly even listening to the words coming out of Yuri's mouth. Now that I realize he's naked in front of me it's hard not to focus on that. The water is dripping down his dick. I wonder what he would do if I grab it. I wonder what he would do if I got on my knees and let him nut all in my mouth in this shower. Would we get away with it? Would someone catch us?

“You ok?” he asks.

I'm staring; I’m staring at him hard.

I turn around immediately, “Sorry. Just thinking about how Fucked up I am...I mean...I was. Does Dad know I was fucking his wife?”

Yuri shook his head, “Nope. I think Darryl knew she was having an affair but he was doing his dirt with that young chick he got around the house all the time. He's in the dark. April on the other hand, became obsessed over you At least obsessed over the dick. What did you do to her?”

My mouth opens and I can hear myself saying, 'you want to find out'. It's almost second nature. I have to get out of this shower.

I change the subject. “Yuri can you do me a favor?”


“Can you make a list of everyone I had sex with? Clearly I was close enough to you that you would know.”

“Are you for real?” Yuri raises his eyebrow.

“Word up. Just you know. Write down anyone you can think of...”

Yuri shakes his head as though I'm asking him to do the world. At this point, I find myself having a semi-hard dick.

As I walk out the showers, I see someone else come in. It's sexy ass Zion. He has a towel hanging around his waist. He has one hand up on his brown hair. I realize now just how many tattoos Zion has. His muscular frame is covered in tattoos. He has to be the most street Cheerleader I had ever seen in my life. As we walk past his eyes connect with mine. Our eyes just stay there. Damn this dude is sexy as heart is racing at this point.

That's when Zion does something I don't expect. He smiles.

“Good game...” he tells me.

His voice is deep. It hits me and makes vibrations in my heart. He is still looking at me as he drops the towel. I can't help but check him out and he MUST notice that I am. I'm not hiding it. I'm looking up and down his body. He has a big dick. His dick is long and curls to the side. He's completely shaven but I realize he has a tattoo up there. He has a curvy ass that lets me know he must spend hours squatting. It sits up so high that I can see it from the fucking front.

“I suck,” I tell him.

The words just come out. Fuck. My face is getting red.

“Naw you'll get better. I mean you just got into an accident. I'm surprised you're back on the team.”

He leans over and touches my shoulder a little bit. A shiver runs down my spine. Fuck this dude is sexy as fuck.

“AYO....this is the team's locker room,” Yuri tells him from underneath the shower.

“I guess I'm in the right place then,” Zion replies.

Yuri looks over at us and I watch him jet past Zion and I. He's angry. No. He is beyond angry. Yuri is straight up pissed at this point.

I look over at Zion one last time. Now that Yuri isn't in there my eyes are roaming like crazy. His legs are cut. His body is well put together. The only one even being close to as attractive as Zion in this school are my attractive adopted brothers and from the look of things, they are not liking the competition in the looks department.

I follow Yuri out to the locker room wrapping myself in my own towel and focusing on dead puppies. I'm trying to get rid of the the stiff dick that I had from seeing Yuri and Zion in the shower.

I don't know how I do it but I know exactly which locker to go to. I know the exact code to put it. Maybe it's because I'm not thinking about it. It happens so naturally.

I see Yuri talking to Rami at Rami's locker. The look on Rami's face goes straight to shit all of a sudden. I can tell what he's telling him.

Shit gets even more awkward when Zion finishes his shower and comes out to the rest of the team. Half the boys are hiding their dicks and scared as fuck that Zion is in the locker room. The other half aren't scared but pissed instead. Rami is one of the pissed ones. They aren't taking this shit lightly. It's clear they aren't going to either.

“They let fags in the locker room now?” Rami says.

He's next to this big ass guy that plays Center. I guess he's Houston's substitute. I think they call him Ugly Riley. They call him that because he's ugly as fuck. He laughs loudly to what Rami is saying. I look over at Zion and I have to admit I kind of feel bad for the dude. He's sitting there trying to mind his business. It's not like he's some flamboyant gay dude. He's masculine. He's muscular. He's probably more masculine than Rami is for god sakes but that doesn't matter to them. I look over at Zion confused. Why would he want to join this team with all these haters in the first place?

Houston shakes his head, “He's on the team Rami.”

Houston says the words that the other team members don't want to hear. I turn to Zion. He's ignoring all this and getting his clothes ready. They are staring at him, as he's some sort of prey. I have a feeling Rami isn't going to let up either.

“He's right. The decision has been made,” I say, “Everyone get over it.”

I don't know what makes me say it. Zion lifts his head. He seems surprised that I spoke on it. Hell. I seem surprised too. Most of the other team members seem to listen to me. They turn away at that point as though I have some influence on this team.

Everyone except Rami accepts this. I can see the look in Rami's eyes. He is pissed. He's more than pissed and he's not going to let this shit go.

Yuri drives us home and I kind of get an idea of how a day in the life of the Payne household goes. Yuri and Rami spend a lot of time together. Houston is the loner only coming around when he has to. Sydney is home. She spends time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning up after us as though she's trying to win some brownie points or some shit. Maybe she honestly enjoys cleaning up after a bunch of teenage boys. I have no idea. She's pretty fucking talkative. Every time I walk past, she's trying to strike up a conversation about something.

Even though Rami is a little rude at times, I enjoy hanging out with him and Yuri. It just seems natural. Houston is more forced. It's almost like he thinks he's the moral compass for the family or some shit.

Yuri and Rami are in the lounge playing video games when my father comes home. Houston is in the kitchen making a sandwich and Sydney is following behind him cleaning up after him as if she's his personal maid. I'm watching them from the threshold. I assume he was doing some paper work back at the school or handling some kind of other business. He comes home pretty late in the day.

“You're memory back?” my dad asks.

I shake my head, “Naw...”


He walks in the kitchen where he goes to kiss Sydney. I follow close behind him.

“Hey can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask.

“I want to talk to you too,” Rami says walking into the room, “You know that FAGGOT Zion thinks he's on the team? You know that?”

Houston lifts his eyebrows, “You mad because someone will try to steal your hair grease.”

I have to laugh at that. Rami is a pretty boy. I mean the dude looks like some Arabic prince that white girls in the suburbs pray will just come in and take them on a magic carpet ride. Not a hair is out of place with Rami. Yet at the same time he does the macho shit like he's the the most manly man in the school.

“He's gay....” Rami replies.

“So what? ( this should be a period ) don't know who else on the team is DL,” Houston says.

I watch how he turns and looks over at me when he says it. He's probably remembering how I came on to him. Houston knows about me. It's clear he does. I look away. This conversation is one that I was not trying to be a part of.

“Well the nigga's openly gay,” Rami states.

Houston looks irritated that Rami is using the “N” word again. Out of all of us Rami is the only one who doesn't have black in him. But he throws around the word freely. It doesn't bother me. I just assume he uses it because he's been around black people so long.

My dad shakes his head, “This conversation is over. Zion is good in ball. That is all I care about. We need another Power Forward. If you got a problem with his sexuality, don't go in the showers with him. Now what did you want to talk about James?”

I can see Rami is steaming that Dad isn't take his side. He crosses his arms and just stands there silently waiting for me to finish so he can probably nag him some more about it.

“I saw school.”

I want to tell my father about the encounter. I want to tell the whole family about the fact that Detective Logan thinks someone is trying to kill me and April thinks it is one of them that is trying to do it. I want to come clean to my Father that before I lost my memory, I was having sex with his wife. I want to connect the dots and feel safe.

I don't get that far. The silence in the room breaks with this piercing scream.


It comes from Sydney. It comes out of nowhere. Sydney is talkative but she seems sweet. Rami and I look at each other. He raises an eyebrow.

Rami mouth the word “Tourette’s?”

I shrug. The look on our face says it all. This sweet overly compensating girl just went crazy all of a sudden screaming at the top of her lungs in the kitchen. I watch my dad put a hand on her. He pulls her close.

“Hunny are you ok?” he asks.

Sydney smiles, “I'm sorry. It just came out. I'm...sorry...”

Sydney leaves the room all of a sudden. My father follows behind her. For the first time Houston and Rami are laughing together in the kitchen almost immediately when she leaves.

“I told you that bitch has a tick...” Rami points at his head.

I smile. The thing is what if he's right. What if something is really wrong with Sydney? How much does this family really know about her?

School the next day is busy. I'm lost in the classes more than I should be. My memory being gone is more than just my memory of people and events. Soon I find it hard how to remember to do basic math. I don't know if I need to talk to someone about it. If it's short term shouldn't my memory be coming back by now.

“How's class...” I ask Yuri.

It's lunch time. We are walking into a crowded lunch table. As we walk in I see Zion. He's sitting by himself. I kind of feel bad for him. I shake off the thought though.

“I Can't remember shit. I need help...” I tell him, “Like not a tutor either. I need some type of psychiatrist or some shit.”

Yuri laughs as though I'm making a joke, “Fuck that. I'm dumb too. We'll fail together. Yo I made up that list for you.”

He hands me a piece of paper. I almost forget what he's talking about as we are walking until I open the list and almost gag. It's a list of the girls that Yuri knows that I've slept with. The list is no fucking joke.

“There are 150 girls on here.”

Yuri nods, “That's only the ones I know about. I also left some teachers off there. I don't want anybody losing their jobs.”

Holy shit.

It's at that moment I look up and realize I got some serious girl issues. As we get to the table Tanya grabs me as though claiming me. She isn't the only one with her eyes on me though. Shayla is the other pretty girl at the table. She sits next to Ugly Riley at what is clearly the popular table but her eyes glance over at me. She waves and sticks her breasts out showing me her cleavage when Tanya isn't looking.

“You've been ignoring my calls,” Tanya tells me.

I look at her. She's annoying as fuck. We are sitting at a table now. Across from me are Rami and his girlfriend Ashley. Rami is usually all over Ashley but today he's in his phone.

“I heard you guys got that gay boy to join the team,” Ashley says.

Rami is hardly listening but adds a quick, “Fuck him. He won't make it long.”

Tanya shakes her head, “I know for a fact Zion always wanted to play basketball. Even at cheerleading practice he would leave and go shoot hoops. What kind of gay does that? I don't get it. If you want to be straight be straight.”

I look at her with a strange look, “Playing basketball isn't being straight.”

The more I'm around her the more I find her annoying as shit. This bitch is just ignorant and is walking around saying dumb shit all the time like that. She thinks it's cute to say something so ignorant. I mean Rami says stuff like that but I'm stuck with Rami. I'm NOT stuck with this Tanya girl.

“You know what I mean. He's like fake gay. He goes to the gym all the time. He ain't even girly like he should be.”

“I think he's sexy,” Ashley replied, “If he was straight I would fuck him...”

She's looking at Rami as she's saying it. Rami isn't paying her any attention at all.

Tanya shakes her head, “I wouldn't. I need a real man...not a gay one who acts straight. I need the authentic kind... like James...”

She smiles at me. I almost want to roll my eyes. It's at that moment I get a text from Rami. I look in my phone. The text reads: You look mad sexy lol. Them jeans on that ass are fitting today. We should ditch these bitches. FWM. I know some somewhere we can go...

I look up at Rami. His eyes glance at me quickly from across the table.

“Baby who are you texting?” Ashley says looking over trying to reach in his phone.

Rami shuts the Iphone off quickly locking it so the the pass code screen comes up, “No body baby. What were you saying?”

“I was saying how I wanted to fuck Zion,” Ashley crosses her arms, “You jealous.”

Rami looks across the table at me, “Have at it.”

He could care less. I watch as Ashley pushes him away from her. In a matter of seconds Rami gets up from the table and walks out. At first, I think he's chasing after Ashley but then I realize he's leaving the cafeteria completely. He looks back at me and signals for me to follow him.

I look over at Tanya. Sexy girl or sexy guy.

“Yo...I'll be back...” I tell her.

“Fuck that feels so good!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

I don't know how I end up in a broom closet within minutes with Rami's dick up my ass. For some reason he just so happened to be carrying around lube. I wonder if he planned to use the lube on April or if he planned to use it on me. At this point I don't give a fuck.

The dick thrusts deep in me. Rami is penetrating all up inside of my guts and I'm loving every moment of it. I reach back and grab his cheeks. His pants are hanging right underneath his ass.

“Take that dick baby...” he tells me.

I'm not surprised we are fucking but I am surprised when Rami turns my face and starts to kiss me. He kisses me hard shoving his tongue down my throat. We exchange saliva quickly. His hands are squeezing my nipples. His tongue is licking my lips. I'm pressed up next to a package of straws and a mop but I don't give a fuck.

He's thrusting deeper and faster. We're both breathing heavy. His breath smells so good as it breaths inches away from mine after kissing me. He breathes on me. The warm breath hits me and it gets harder...quicker. ( I would think about revising this preceeding sentence for the sake of clarity )

He's about to nut.

I don't know why I do it but I pull out and drop to my knees. I begin to jerk him off. Within seconds Rami is shooting the nut down my throat.

Before I can swallow it Rami picks me back up and we are kissing...exchanging the nut between us. The kiss goes on and on until there is no nut. Soon we are just kissing like kids in a locker room. Soon the kissing starts getting more passionate. Rami's hand is on the back of my head.

“Damn....” Rami says.

“Yeah...that shit was intense.”

My heart is racing. Both our dicks are hard. Rami is still hugged up with me. He's looking in my eyes. There is this compassion there. And I have to admit that I'm liking this. It's so much better than faking shit with Tanya.

That's when Rami surprises the fuck out of me, “We should dump those bitches...”


“We should leave those THOTS,” he tells me shaking his head, “What we just had was the SHIT. What do we need them for anyway?”

“So what we just going to be in some weird ass gay relationship?” I laugh, “Is that really what you want?”

Rami shrugs, “I dunno. I mean. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying...look dude. I see how you look at Tanya. You don't want that hoe. And when I'm nuttin' in Ashley's mouth, I'm stuck wishing it was yours all the time...”

“That's romantic,” I laugh, “Fucking dumbass.”

Rami laughs realizing how dumb he sounds.

“See that's the thing. You're like my best friend. My brother. My lover. Everything I need in one. So why the fuck do we need to be wasting our time with them hoes?”

I look at Rami. I do like spending time with him. He's an idiot. He doesn't know when to be serious. But he's right. I'm close to him. I can have my cake and eat it too. This is someone that I share a common bond with. This is someone that I actually don't get annoyed when he comes around me.

“I'll talk to Tanya.”

“Fuck talking, Man, Text that hoe.”

I laugh, “Alright. I'll text her after basketball practice.”

“We don't have practice on Tuesdays,” Rami shakes his head, “Never have. Damn. I'm going to need you to get your memory back. You're always the one who remembers shit like this.”

“Well I'm at least going to go shoot around after class. You want to come?”

Rami shakes his head, “Nawl. Ashley probably thinks I'm gonna be in the gym. After I send her this text she'll be looking for me. I need to avoid all the usual places...”

He's so serious about breaking up with her through text.

I can do nothing but laugh.

“Ok Rami...well I'll catch you later.'


Rami pulls me close at that moment. I don't expect it. He's grabbing onto my ass. He's letting me grab all onto his. We are kissing...hard.

“What was that for?”

“I just want you to know that from now's just us...”


I'm confused on where Rami falls into my life and I'm shooting hoops. The gym is empty after school. There are track runners going into the locker rooms but they go out to outdoor track soon after. I'm at the free throw line trying to make some shots and realize I'm missing every last one of them.

“Start small, end tall.”

I am shocked when I turn to see Zion walk up to me. He doesn't have a shirt on. Sexy isn't even the word to describe Zion. It's whatever word comes after sexy. He's sexy squared. He walks up to me and my dick gets hard. That all it takes! It just takes Zion to pop up out of nowhere for my dick to pop up out of nowhere.


“Your form, it’s all wrong,” he explains to me.

I'm confused when Zion walks over to me. He stands up behind me. His dick is grinding into my backside at that moment. I'm breathing heavy. I can feel his muscles as he starts to adjust the way that I'm standing. Zion literally puts his hands on my hips and leans me over.

After he adjusts my hips he moves down to my legs bending them, “At the start of your shot you should be small, your legs bent as if you were sitting. That's where the power comes from.”

“Being bent over is where the power comes from, huh?” I ask laughing.

Zion smiles. He has a fucking sexy smile.

“You messing with me because I'm gay?” he asks.

“No. No never that. Go on. I was bent over and then what?” I ask.

I smile back. Our eyes connect. Why does my heart beat so fast every time I'm around this dude?

Zion shakes his head, “You in that position lowkey made me almost lose my train of was I saying.”

Was he...flirting?

I smile at that moment, “You tell me.”

“Oh. Well. Um,” Zion says taking a step away from me, “Then as you continue through your shooting motion you are springing up, ending with your body straight and your hands high in the air. Ending tall. Start small. End tall. Try it.”

I take a shot at that moment with the motion Zion taught me. The ball curls around the hoop but doesn't go in.

“It's closer than the air balls I been making lately,” I sigh.

Zion runs and gets the ball. I watch as he takes a shot using the same method he just shows me. It's nothing but net.

Zion shakes his head, “It'll come back to you. I can help practice with you if you want. Shoot around. I won't tell anyone about the air balls. I promise. I can keep a secret.”

Zion bites down on his lip at that moment. Fuck. If he's not flirting then I must have a real active imagination. It's still light though. I find myself smiling back at him. I'm looking at his chest. His pecs look more like he plays football than basketball. He must spend at least 5 times a week in the gym. His nipples are hard for some strange reason. His abdomen is small and sinks in. He has the smallest waist. The basketball shorts sag slightly showing off the white underwear he has up underneath them.

“I'd like that.”

Zion nods, “Ok. How about every morning we come out here? That's usually my routine anyway. Come out here shoot some hoops. It's private.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask, “I fought you...”

Zion shrugs, “Man. I'm used to that shit. If I held grudges over homophobia I'd be suicidal. You just let that shit roll off. Some people do ignorant Rami. But it's cool. What matters to me is that you apologized.”

I nod, “Why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why did you tell everyone you're gay?” I ask confused, “I mean...look at you. Clearly you can pass. You can pull any female you want.”

“That's the thing. I have to be true to myself. If I can pull females---that's cool. Whatever. I don't want to pull females though...I want to be in a relationship with a man.”

Fuck. My heart almost drops as Zion looks over at me. He's standing close to me. He's really close. It's almost like he's speaking to me. It's almost like he's talking to my soul.

I could kiss him right now.

“Hey...hey 'SCUSE me!”

I turn to see Ashley walk into the gym. The girl has really long hair and a sassy walk. She was one of the popular girls and for some reason I realized the popular girls at Wagner high dress like they are going to a video shoot all the time. She walks in with short shorts and 8 inch heels. The heels make noise as she walks in. I wonder if she thinks it strange how close Zion and I are. If she does she doesn't seem to say anything about it. She doesn't even look at Zion. She's focused.

All of a sudden I know Rami (should this name be Zion and not Rami) must be looking at her.

“Ashley wassup...”

I get my play dumb face ready. I need to stick this shit for real.

“I'm pregnant...” she says.

Holy shit. Zion's eyes get wide at that moment. I am shocked and confused. Ashley looks mad and upset. I wonder if Rami broke up with her around the same time she found out she was pregnant. I am scared to find out really.

“Damn. Um. Shit. Let me text Rami...”

“Rami knows I'm pregnant,” she responds, “I called him.”

I'm confused, “So...why are you telling me?”

She raises her eyebrow, “I don't know if you think this is a joke.”

Her hands are in my face at that moment.

Zion surprisingly steps in, “Whoa...calm down.”

“STAY OUT OF THIS FAG!” she says.

It's clear Ashley is upset.

“Why are you here Ashley?” I ask.

“Maybe you thought it was a joke when you and I used to sneak around and have sex too. Raw. ALL the time. Or did you conveniently forget that too. I'm telling you because there is a 50% chance Rami might be the father. But the father might also be you...”

To read the next chapter go to