Date: Wed, 04 Nov 1998 15:41:33 -0800
From: strilo1@yahoo.com  or  tcns@hotmail.com
Subject: Falling in Love

Falling in Love
by Strilo

Chapter 1

I sat nervously in my desk, not paying any attention to my biology teacher.
Jake was only 2 desks behind me and for some reason, I felt like he had
been watching me the whole class.  What if he knows?  What if he starts
telling people at school?  Lots of thoughts were racing through my mind.  I
didn't even hear Mr. Wagner.

"Todd...... TODD!!"

My thoughts crashed down around me as I was jolted back to reality.

"Yes... I am sorry.  What?"  I said nervously hearing a few kids in the
class chuckle at me.

"I believe we were discussing the chapters we read last night, Todd."

The chapters..... chapters?  What chapters?  I thought to myself.  Oh yes,
Biology.

Mr. Wagner repeated his question about chlorophyll and I reeled off some
bullshit answer that satisfied him and he moved on.  I tried my best to put
Jake and the events of last night out of my mind.

After class, my friend Aaron caught me on the way out of class.

"You ok, man?"

"Oh um, yeah...... of course." I replied.

As we walked down the hall, Aaron kept up his questions.

"OK, Todd what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?  Nothings wrong, just tired."

"Bullshit... you have not looked me in the eyes all day, even at the bus
stop."  Damn his observant eyes.

"Just got in a fight with Dad last night," I lied as we approached my
locker and I threw my books in.

"Again?  Dude, what is up with that?  He can be such an asshole sometimes,"
he swore.  "You getting lunch on campus today?"

"Yeah probably... I don't care. Anyways, yeah well it's fine.  I wanna move
out now that I am 18," I said, trying to shift the conversation anywhere
else besides where my mind had been all morning.  "Come on man, be my
roommate...  We'll get an apartment together."

"HAH!!!  Do you have any idea how bad that would be?  We wouldn't get shit
done..." he said, then was quiet for a second with this weird smile on his
face as we walked into the cafeteria.

"What?" I asked.  "What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about living on my own during high school," he chuckled.

"Yeah I think it would be cool and I think we-" I stopped, seeing Jake at
table near our usual one.  Suddenly Aaron grabbed me and pulled me over to
the wall.

"OK what is going on?  I know it is something."

"Nothing man, don't worry."

"No bullshit.  I am your best friend, I know you too well.  Don't fuckin
lie to me.  I watched you all during 4th period man.  You kept turning
nervously around to see if Jake over there was looking at you.  Then the
Space Cadet incident with Mr.  Wagner.  And now you see Jake in here and
look like someone stomped on your foot."

I did not know what to say.  I just stared at the floor.  Thoughts of what
happened the night before flashed through my head.  Then I thought about
what would happen if people at school found out about me.  Suddenly I was
overwhelmed.  I could not breathe and had to get out of there.  Without a
word I turned and ran out of the cafeteria and around behind the gym in the
alleyway.  All I wanted was to catch my breath, but as I let out a sigh I
turned around and Aaron was right there.

He just looked at me.

"WHAT?" I asked defensively.  "What do you want from me?"

Without warning, Aaron grabbed my shirt front and shoved me up against the
wall.  Too surprised to react, he had me pinned.

"God damn it Todd, you stubborn fuck.  I have known you since third grade.
I know you better than anyone.  Tell me WHAT the fuck is going on before I
pop you one."

"I...  I just...."  I could not spit it out even though I was beginning to
need to talk to someone.  As I tried to keep it inside, tears welled up in
my eyes.  Aaron saw this and immediately let go of me.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

I didn't really hear him, I just followed.  We walked to his car and drove
away from the school.  I sat there staring at the floorboard and I guess
Aaron just let me be, thinking I needed to want to talk.  Finally I spoke
up.

"Aaron, this is not easy for me ok?  Something happened to me last night."
I stopped, trying to keep from losing it anymore.  I realized that in order
to tell him about last night, he needed to know something else.  "Aaron
I... I don't... I don't like girls."

Aaron suddenly pulled off the road and parked.  He set the brake and turned
to face me.

"OK wait, are you talking about what's her face standing you up last week?
Or is this something different?"

"No, this is not about Dena...  I...just am not really into girls, I
guess..."  I stopped not knowing how to put this into words.

"Are you telling me you are gay?"  Aaron asked, his voice suddenly quiet
and deadly serious.

With tears rolling down my face I said "Yes...... Look if you hate me and
want me to leave or stop being your friend I understand."

"WHAT???" he exclaimed.  "Why the hell would you say that???"

"Because I am gay... I am a faggot." I said, suddenly angry at who knows
what.  "Everyone will hate me."

"Todd whoa just hold on a second...  you have to understand that you are my
friend.  I don't care much if you are gay.  You are you and we have been
friends too long for something like this to get in the way."

For the first time since last night I started to relax and feel better.
"So you don't care?"

"No way man, I love you."

Kind of surprised to hear that, I smiled and gave him a huge hug, "I love
you too, man."

"After all, it is not a total surprise..." he said, suddenly smiling as he
restarted the car and headed to Roake's.  "I mean who else could turn down
a date with Kirsten, she is a goddess."

Without thinking I laughed out loud.  "You can have her, she is not my
type."

"Ok then what is your type," he asked slyly.

Feeling a little strange talking about things I had kept to myself for so
long, I thought for a moment.  "Let's see....  Jared Perkins.....  Will
Johnson."

Aaron laughed.  "OK, they're hot.... Right on.... Hey I wonder about Jared
sometimes but that's another story."

We pulled up to Roake's, ordered our usual Coney Island Hot Dogs and sat in
the parking lot eating.

"Hmmm," Aaron thought out loud.

"What?"

"So what does all of this have to do with Jake?"

"Oh..... yeah that.  Ummmm, listen I...  Sometimes I go downtown to this
club down there called the City."

"Oh yeah the City I know that place, it's a gay....." he stopped.  "It's a
gay club right?"

"Well, yeah I guess.... All ages, ya know," I said, still feeling weird
actually talking about this stuff.  "So anyways, I was there last night and
I danced with this really hot guy.  Well he really liked me and I liked
him, so well, when we weren't dancing, we were sitting at a table on the
side...ummm..."

"Making out," Aaron finished with a grin.

"Well, yeah...  So anyways, I was having fun, like I normally do when I
looked up and saw Jake across the club.  I thought at first that he did not
recognize me, but then a few minutes later he walked nearer and totally
looked at me, then he left."

"OK."

"Well, he saw me, Aaron.  He knows I am gay."

"So?  Todd have you stopped to think about why Jake was there?  Maybe he is
gay too."

"Aaron, look, lot's of straight people go there too... Maybe he was just
there to dance."

"You are gonna have to talk to him about it, or it will keep tearing you
up, man," Aaron said. "You done?"

"Yeah let's go," I said, looking at my watch.  "Holy SHIT!!!!  It's halfway
through 5th period!!"

"Ahh so what, like Herr Brown is gonna care.  We are late all the time."

"Heheheh that's why German III rocks huh?  I told you."

We drove back to school and I finished out my day, not really giving Jake
much more thought, but feeling much better.  Aaron is such a great friend.
I was still nervous that Jake was gonna tell other kids about seeing me
with that guy, but I knew Aaron was right.  I had to just talk to him about
it.


Now see, Jake is a sophomore and I am a senior.  He has Biology with me and
Aaron I guess cuz he was planning to take some weird classes his junior and
senior year.  Jake is kinda short actually, he is 5'3" and about 125
pounds.  He has brown hair that is always hanging down in his face and
beautiful brown eyes to match it.  I have P.E.  with him too, so I have
seen him naked and he has a very nice toned body, with a great sixpack and
nice chest.  What is so cute about him is that he has a little patch of
chest hair in between his pecs.

Anyways, after a few days of thinking I finally cornered Jake after Biology
and asked him if he would have lunch with me.

"Ummm..... sure, yeah I guess," he answered.  Not exactly enthusiastic, I
thought, but ok.  I had already talked to Aaron and he let me borrow his
car, so Jake followed me as I walked to the car.  We got in and I asked him
where he wanted to eat.

"I dunno... MacDonald's is fine."

"OK." I started the car and headed to MacDonald's.  We ordered and sat in
the car and ate, neither of us said a word.  Finally I finished and turned
to him.

"Jake look I...."

Jake interrupted me.  "Todd, look.  Don't tell anyone I was at the City
please??  I don't want anyone to know I am gay."

"No one with think you.....oh wait..... you said know not think..... You
are gay?"

"Yeah look I don't wanna talk about it, just don't tell anyone," I saw a
look on his face that looked exactly like I had felt a few days earlier.

"Jake, look.... I.... Don't be upset, I won't tell anyone.  I mean, I am
gay too.  That's why I was there that night."

His face brightened some, as if a weight had been taken off his
shoulders. "Really?"

"Yeah I mean, didn't you see me with that guy?"

"Well I guess, but I didn't really think about it, I was so scared when I
saw you."

"Anyways, don't worry about anything," I reassured him as I started the
drive back to school.  "Besides, you are cuter when you smile." He laughed
and said thanks.

We got back to school and he went to Sophomore Hall, but not after I
offered him a ride home, knowing Aaron would not mind.

I hummed to myself as I walked to German.  Things were looking up for me.
Little did I know I was falling in love.

*********************************

Any constructive input on the story, yes it will have more, is welcome.
Email me at strilo1@yahoo.com or tcns@hotmail.com