Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 00:41:04 +0930 From: Andrew Kellett Subject: Find myself: Still Life Chapter 1 (High school section) The story below is a work of fiction, set in the format of reality. Any resemblances to real people, alive or in the hereafter, is entirely coincidental in nature. It is not meant to accurately reflect upon persons, in towns, cities, countries, nor governmental areas, which the story is staged. If a sexual scene involving male-to-male relationships offends you, then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age, in most state and countries, you are not allowed to read this story, by law. Check with your local laws regarding such. "Find myself : Still Life Chapter 1" written by Andrew Kellett I don't wanna be tuff, I don't wanna be proud, I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found. I'm not LOST, I just need to be loved.. Loved.. I thought to myself, `why am i sitting at this computer every night trying to find something I've lost, when all i need is someone, just someone to love'. School started like every other year, same old boring orientation and same old boring home group. Same old peers telling me I'm a fag, faggot whatever you can think of I've been called it. But I wasn't gonna stand it this year, nope not me as i thought to myself i saw a kid about my age from across the room talking with the guys I've grown to hate. Its funny I've never noticed him before now, His Brown wavy hair, his blue eyes, his perfect chin and the way he talks makes his lips look so inviting... "Hey fag" Sean said Sean was the bully of the school, even though he wasn't exactly big or strong he had a feeling about him that he would be a arrogant ass hole all his life. He liked belittling me he'd grown to LOVE it "Sucked anyone off lately?" Sean teased again But this was different i wasn't going to stand this.. "Yeah your dad, Bitch came twice" I muttered I was going to pay for that. "What did you say bitch?" "Nothing" I mumbled "No say it again bitch!" "Mr. Genson SIT DOWN" Said Mrs. Rencher I loved this teacher, she was my home group teacher for 6 years and she knew i was the victim to many of the guys pranks and insults. The day went like all the other days of the school year, Home group, Classes, Getting insulted But i keep seeing him everywhere just there like he was in the back of my mind all of the time. "Hey sexy" Said my best friend Jen, my best friend for 7 years we meet in year 5 and haven't been apart since. "Hey beautiful" I whispered, I was obviously upset by the comments I got all day. There was no point hiding my emotions "What's wrong hun?" There the unpreventable question, she wouldn't let me get out of it either. Jen isn't that sort of person but maybe she will. "Nothing" I turned to her smiling "Look Daniel Evan Rodgers, I've known you for 7 years! 7 years and not once has it ever been nothing now tell me what is wrong!" "Look I am just gonna go home ok? We'll talk about this later" I tried to escape "You bet were gonna talk later, Daniel and don't you dare turn off your phone like last time!" "Uh huh, Love you." I Ended As I walk past the school, through the car park I keep thinking to myself about that kid in home group how his words just bounce off his lips.. "Hey man, need a ride?" It was him. "Uhh what?" "I said do you need a ride somewhere?" I cant believe he's talking to me, why is he talking to me.. "Nah I think I'm gonna walk" Stupid Daniel! you have a chance! Pfft like I have a chance. I start walking "You sure?" He follows me with his car, God the wind on his face makes him look like a god. "I'm sure" "Its no trouble man." Is he gonna leave me alone? "LOOK I DONT WANT A RIDE, OK?" Silence.. He looks hurt, maybe i should take a ride with him.. what could it hurt? "Fine i just wanted to help..." I cut him off "I'll take a ride if you're still offering" "Really?" I get in the car, I must admit he has a pretty nice car. I haven't seen this in the car park either, I make note as to what cars our in the car park so I know I'm safe to get home. "My names Nik, I'm new here just got here from Sydney" That's why i haven't seen him "...I'm Daniel.." "Well nice to meet you Daniel, so why haven't you got your own ride?" "..Uhh..I do have a ride but its not in good shape so i don't bring it" "Ah cool" .......... "Maybe I could help you fix it up then" Did he just ask me to do something with him? "Yeah, maybe" "So where's your house, we've been going in circles for awhile now" "Oh right...." I tell him the directions and we pull up to my house "So... Maybe we could do up that car or go for a coffee or something soon.." Did he just ask me out? "Yeah, maybe look i gotta go" "Oh... right" "Thanks for the ride though" I step out of the car "Wait.. take this" He handed me a piece of paper Its his number "Call me sometime, then we can fix up your car I'm a pretty good mechanic when i want to be he he" His laugh, I've already grown to love it "Ok.. Cool" Cool? Daniel what are you thinking! "Ok so I'll see you later then!" I walk back to my house I hear shouting, it's my mum and her new boyfriend. "WHO WAS HE? WHY WAS HE HERE?" He said not noticing me " ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS THIS ISNT EVEN YOUR HOUSE!" My mum yells .... "Hey honey how was school?" My mum asks He walks off "Yeah you know the usual" Wanting to get to my room "Ok well don't stay in your room too long dinner will be ready soon." She gives me a kiss I walk to my room with then shouting again, I wonder when this one will end.... I sit down at my computer, just looking at youtube and myspace. Nothing new I lay down on my bed for a moment and start falling asleep when I'm woken by my mum telling me Jen's on the phone Ah already.. I take the phone from mum "Hey hon, how are you?" "Hey Jen, I'm good how are you?" "Don't lie to me Daniel, I know something's wrong what is it?" I knew I wasn't gonna get away with this easy "Ah nothing you know, just the guys at school being dicks" I divert "But that's not new What's really wrong?" "I saw this new kid in home group today I dunno.." "So? You like him?" I could hear the smile even over the receiver "Maybe... he ask me about fixing my car" "That's great hun! I knew you'd find someone! See All these years haven't come to waste." "Yeah, maybe I just don't know maybe he's playing a trick on me he was talking to Sean in home group.." "Well you wont know until you take a chance right? " ...Beep ... Beep "Hey jen that's call waiting I'll call you tomorrow ok?" "Ok hun but i want all the details tomorrow!" "ok Love you." I pick up the other call "Hey Daniel!" It was him... "Hey.. how'd you get my number you gave me yours remember?" "Well I have my ways he he" "Hey did you still wanna fix up your car?" He asks "Yeah I guess" "How about we do it after dinner this weekend?" Wow this is moving fast "Umm yeah sure, Like on a date..?" WHAT! geez Daniel what's gotten into you! "Well yeah.. I like you, you know... I just wanna get to know you more" I cant believe it.. "Ok well man, i see you this weekend! I'll pick you up at 6!" "Ok.. " "Bye!" I hang up. This was going to be interesting..