Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 19:37:29 EDT From: TroysTheName@aol.com Subject: Finding a Boys Place in Life ****The usual warning, gay sex between underage and older men, dominant sex, the whole usual thing.**** Finding a Boys Place in Life The foster care system is a joke, really it is. They stick you with these families who pretend to love you but when it comes down to it you're nothing more to them than a piece of trash. They are ready to throw you out at the first sign of trouble. I had only been in the system a few months, nothing compared to what most kids are in for. At 14 years old I had started my first year in high school as a freshman. It was a new school for me; I had been moved about 100 miles from the home I used to have, when things were normal. My new foster dad had convinced me to join the schools football team. I wasn't half bad, I had never played on a real team before but the coaches thought they could make something pretty good out of me. I didn't have many friends yet, but I started to get to know a couple of guys on the team pretty well. My best friend so far was named Paul. He was a trouble maker and the class clown. I considered myself pretty lucky. I didn't come from a horrible abusive family. In fact my family was really great. I was an only child, my dad worked long hours to make sure I could have some nice things. My mom worked a night shift at the hospital cleaning it. She had never finished school and they pretty much treated her like dirt around there. She wasn't one of those illegal Mexican dirt bags; she was a nice woman who just never went to school. Finally she got accepted into some classes to train to be a C.N.A. She was happy and that's really all I cared about. My dad worked as a security guard for one of those money carrying companies. He worked long hours and was pretty stressed about it all. He was always getting worried about losing his job and not being able to take care of me and my mom. He really shouldn't have been worrying about it, he wasn't the richest father but the best one I've ever met. Less than a year ago my dad got killed in a robbery. They didn't even give him a chance, they just wanted money. They had him open a safe as soon as it was open they shot him twice in the head. Coroner said he died before he hit the floor. It was hard on me and my mom. Even harder when they showed my mom the tape showing my dad getting shot. Yet even harder when they figured out who killed him, 3 men he worked with. They knew he had a kid, they knew he was married, but I guess the hundreds of thousands of dollars they had for two days was worth my dad's life. After my dads murder things weren't really the same. I spent most of my time hanging out with kids from school, picking on the 6th and 7th graders, that type of stuff. Usually after school we'd shoot hoops or just hang out. Guys liked to play video games but I never had any money. Money was tight at home cause my dad's social security was tied up still. Mom tried her best to get extra hours at work but she started to get sick. She never stayed home from work. I think that's part of why she got even sicker. Finally work made her go to the doctor and they found out she had breast cancer. With more tests they found the cancer had spread. They gave her 9 months to live without chemo, up to 5 years with it. She tried it out but was miserable and in terrible pain. I knew she wanted to quit and I told her it was ok with me, and that I loved her. She only made it 3 more months, but it was better than seeing her suffer for 5 years, I was glad she went pretty quickly. The doctors told me that happens a lot, that couples tend to pass away within months of each other. Grandma decided to take me in. At 13 years old I couldn't take care of myself according to the law. Although my grandma was 80 years old, had diabetes and was going blind. She really did her best to take care of me but it ended up going the other way around. I spent most of my time after school making sure she was comfortable and getting groceries and prescriptions for her. One thing grandma could do was cook. She was always cooking for me and it was great. Course all good things come to an end and grandma got sick, spent a month in the hospital before she died. I began to think everyone I loved was going to die. My mother was an only child. I had no grandparents left. All I had left was a rich snobby aunt and uncle in California. They had two kids of their own. When social services asked them to take me in they told them they didn't have the time or energy to take in another kid. Imagine that, my own family not wanting me after three important people in my life had died. I'll never understand what they were thinking. I wasn't a bad kid, I'm still not. So that's how I came to be in the foster care system. My first family was made up of all foster boys. The couple had no kids of their own. They were nice people but with 6 boys it was hard to handle things. The older boys were always picking on younger ones and hitting them and making them do their chores. They pretty much left me alone. I was kind of a loner in all ways. In my new school I had no friends and before I had a chance to make any the summer came. All the boys in the house ignored me, I was the new boy and I didn't have a place in the house yet. One day I got sick of things there. The two oldest boys, both 17 years old threw the smallest of my foster brothers on the ground which broke his arm. I can still remember the sound of the sickening crack followed by his screams from the pain. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick of those two pushing the other boys around. As the next oldest I figured it was my job to do something about it. As the other boys took Luke into the house and tried to calm him down until our foster mom could get home and take him to the doctor I lunged at the older boys. It only took them about two minutes to beat me into a bloody pulp. But for some reason I felt like I had accomplished something, like it was my purpose to keep the smaller boys from getting hurt. Things went on like that for another month, only this time I received all the punches for anything and everything from the older two. They were best friends and would sometimes punch me just for their sick fun of it. My foster parents tried to control them, but my foster father was a pussy, Jon and Victor weren't afraid of him. I wouldn't put it past them to punch him. They were big fucking jerks; and I couldn't stand to be around them. When one of the bedrooms had to have some work done on it to add in another bathroom I was supposed to move into Jon and Victor's bedroom, but after getting beat up every night my foster parents had me move in with the other three boys. About a month ago I finally got sick of them pushing me around. I knew I'd end up getting a beating out of it but hell I was getting a beating every night anyway. Jon and Victor had told me to do their chores for the day while they took off to the mall. I was supposed to be cleaning our bathroom and doing their laundry. I started on my own chores, doing them a lot better than my usual. I gave myself the whole day to finish them and by the time I was done, the kitchen was sparkling. I even helped Luke clean up his toys. With his arm in a cast I felt sorry for him and he really was a nice little guy. Then I started on my plan. I went out in my foster mom's garden with a hose and started to water it until it was a big muddy mess. I walked throughout the garden making sure my shoes were muddy. As I walked into the house I took off my shoes in and brought them into the bathroom. With my muddy shoes I made a mess in the bathroom, getting mud all over. I didn't touch it and waited for my foster family to come home. I went into the living room and flipped on the TV while I waited. I began to feel bad some but then I heard that sickening sound of Luke's arm breaking again in my head. After about an hour my foster mother came home. As she walked past the bathroom to get to her bedroom I heard her scream. I laughed to myself as she stormed into the living room and began to yell at me. I told her not to yell at me, my chore was to do the kitchen, the bathroom was Jon and Victor's chore. She stormed off into her bedroom and left me alone. My foster father came home before Victor and Jon and of course he was raging pissed when he saw the bathroom. He asked me if I knew where the boys were and I said I hadn't seen them since this morning. Later that night Jon and Victor finally made it home and my foster father was about to kill them. They swore they hadn't done it and of course they hadn't, but they had no way of proving it was someone else. The tried saying that when they left the bathroom was perfectly clean but Luke ended up saying they hadn't cleaned it. I just smiled to them as they were sent to their room. I tried to stay up as late as I could that night. My foster parents didn't let Victor and Jon eat with us so I hadn't seen them all night. My foster mother commented to me how clean the kitchen was and how nice it was of me to mop the floor for her. Usually I just wiped down the counters and did the dishes and made sure everything was picked up. This time I had swept and mopped the floors along with the usual. That night as soon as my foster parents went to bed Victor and Jon jumped me. You have no idea what it feels like to lie awake knowing any minute boys bigger and stronger than you are going to kick your ass. Of course my foster brothers heard me screaming and woke our foster parents up. That night I ended up in the emergency room at 2 a.m. in the morning with 23 stitches, broken bones in my fist and a broken nose. It was only three days later when I was taken to the home I'm at now. Imagine that, I get my ass kicked and they take me away? Seems a little unfair to me. My nose is still a little crooked from it being broken. So how is my life with my new family? Pretty good actually. Not as good as life was with my real parents but you know how they say life is a bitch and then you die? I'm guessing that is true. Anyway in my new family there are 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. The girls are the couple's real children while Danny and I are the foster kids. My foster parents seem pretty cool, they insist I call them by their first names since I won't call them mom and dad. Danny is a great little guy, he's like the little brother I never had. He's only 8 years old. His story is pretty sad really; his mom is one of those whores on the street that is into drugs. I guess she got knocked up by some john and had Danny. Danny said he lived with his mom for 5 years before CPS took him away. That she would bring guys over to have sex with and most were really pretty nice to him. He said some of her regulars even brought him toys. Anyway she ended up overdosing on heroin, didn't die but went to the hospital and then to jail and lost custody of Danny. This is Danny's first home. If he had only been younger I bet some nice couple would have sucked him up and adopted him. But for now he rots here, probably will never find a real family. My new foster parent's real kids are 13 and 10 years old. The 13 year old is named Diana. She and I argue all the time. I think she's in that whole puberty, PMS stage of life. Jennifer or Jenny like she prefers to be called is sort of a tom boy. She doesn't wear dresses and is on the youth soccer league and youth softball league. She's pretty good at both, she's been teaching Danny to play soccer. My foster dad's name is Bruce. He's a nice guy; I think he enjoys having boys around since before it was just the girls and him. He works lots of hours at his job, he's a computer technician. Only bad thing about him is he is really strict. He seems to be the hardest on me since I'm the oldest and a boy, so I really try to be good. Anne is my foster mother. She's nice. She doesn't have a job, she just volunteers at the school with Danny and Jenny, and at the church. That's another bad thing; they are always dragging me to church. The great thing about her is her cooking. Damn she is a great cook. Her great cooking reminds me of grandma, it's nice. Every morning she gets up early to cook us all breakfast, every morning. She doesn't miss a day. Sometimes I just eat cereal, but most of the time I probably eat the most breakfast out of everyone. When school started she always had a lunch for me to take, and although the food was cold it was a million times better than the slop they serve you in that cafeteria. Kids say they have found grubs in that food. So Bruce had me go out for the football team this year. Practices started 2 weeks before school started so I had a little head start on getting to know some of the guys. I was sort of a loner being the new kid who didn't even have his own family, but some of the guys were starting to get to know me. Paul was a kid who played wide receiver. And he was good. I heard his older brother is some sort of all-American player who got a full ride to Notre Dame. Paul was this taller kid packed with muscle. He's sort of the biggest troublemaker in the 9th grade, but he's cool. He took to showing me around while most of the other guys ignored me. School started about 6 weeks ago. It is just 2 weeks until the big homecoming dance and I still don't have a date. I really didn't know that many girls at school, only a few of the cheerleaders. I didn't have any interest in girls at all, but I was willing to fake it for the sake of my so far non existent reputation. Paul has a girlfriend, one of the cheerleaders for our team. She's cute; it's just not my type of thing. Her name is Katie. Paul seems to really like her though, and they have a good relationship. He is always bragging how he scores with her, and it must be true because Katie has said they have sex too. Today I woke up to go to school. Before Diana got into the bathroom I flew in there and started my shower. We only have 2 bathrooms in the house, so we 4 kids have to share. Luckily Danny and Jenny take baths at night so I don't have to fight for the bathroom with them. Usually I am in charge of giving Danny his bath. I don't mind doing it, and though I'm into guys I'm not into Danny, he's just a little kid. I don't even look at him that way at all and I'd kill anyone who would hurt him. So I start up the shower and am about finished getting clean when I hear Diana banging on the door telling me to hurry up. I look at the clock Anne keeps in the bathroom for us so we are on time for school. I've only been in the bathroom for 6 minutes. She keeps screaming and banging so I slowly begin to jerk on my dick. I figure I can take my time; I got up a little bit early. I'm starting to daydream about a hot man pushing me down on my knees while he feeds me his dick when I start to cum on the shower wall. I moan quietly so that Diana won't hear me. I feel great. I take some water and wash my cum off the wall and hop out of the shower to dry off. I put on a pair of shorts and walk back to my bedroom. Within 10 minutes I'm ready for school. All I need is to eat some breakfast and brush my teeth. I sit down at the kitchen table right when Anne is putting a stack of pancakes in front of me. "Derek, pour your brother and sister some milk too for me," Anne tells me as she walks back into the kitchen. Anne always called them my brother and sisters, though they aren't. "I bet I can eat more pancakes that you," starts in Jenny. She is always competing, she loves to win. "No you can't, I can eat a hundred more than you," Danny argues. "I can beat both of you put together," I say. I really don't want to listen to them argue. Danny and Jenny look at each other and dig in. In the middle of my 4th pancake I start to feel really full. I stop eating. Of course Danny and Jenny have to gloat how they beat me. I walk down to the bathroom to brush my teeth so I can get to school on time. If you miss too much of a school day the coach will get on you and you won't be playing in the next game. "Mom, Derek took forever in the bathroom and now I'm gonna be late and he did it on purpose." The sound of Diana's voice makes me sick. "Well hunny, I doubt he did it on purpose, you will just need to get up earlier to get in the shower before him." I'm happy to hear Anne take my side. "I'll take you to school so don't worry." Diana is always getting her way. I walk out to the living room and see Danny and Jenny waiting for me. As we walk toward the door Anne hands us our lunch. I never eat at school; she makes me lunch everyday, usually a bunch of healthy junk and some sort of dessert. "Remember Derek; do not leave them until they get on the bus." "I know, I never do." I say. I grab my skateboard and follow Danny and Jenny out of the door. I always walk them to the bus stop. Diana goes on a different bus and I hate the bus. Bunch of older boys would pick on the freshmen boys so I decided not to go, I just skate to school. It's not that I'm a loser, it's just the older boys that pick on us are freaks. Most of them are boys that get picked on by the popular boys in their class so they take out all their anger on the freshmen. I've heard about how they once made some boy drink their piss out of a bottle, and there is no way in hell I am letting that happen to me. After about 5 minutes the bus comes and I watch Danny and Jenny get on the bus. After the doors close I skate off to school. It usually only takes me about 15 minutes to get to school from my house but today on my way I see Sarah. Sarah is this cheerleader, she's cute, but like I said I'm not into girls at all. Sarah is also best friends with Paul's girl so I see her a lot and am pretty good friends with her. "Hi Sarah, how ya doin?" I ask as I stop my skateboard. "Pretty good, did you finish our history assignment?" Sarah asks. "Uh, no I sort of forgot about it. That sucks too cause my grade in there already stinks and if I start to fail school, there goes football." "You can copy mine in math class today Derek." "Thanks, and I'll help you on your math assignment," I tell her. She stinks at math but is really smart in everything else. Math is one subject I'm good at. "You are so sweet Derek. By the way I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over this weekend and maybe watch a movie or something. My parents are going to be gone to a soccer tournament with Jamie." Jamie is Sarah's little brother. "Sure, I'll come over. I will just have to make sure I don't have to watch Danny and Jennifer. Bruce and Anne would leave them with Diana but you know how she is, all she cares about is herself." I'm not sure if I want to go, but this way if I decide I don't want to, I have a way out. We start up the school steps and pretty soon she tells me goodbye as we go our separate ways to our lockers. I got lucky, I have my own locker. Paul's is 3 lockers down so it worked out good. All the grades have their own hallways with lockers. As freshmen we have the oldest most beat up lockers. "Hey Derek, looks like Sarah likes you huh," Paul jokes with me. "Course she does, we've been friends since football started," I give him a smartass answer back. "You know what I mean. Katie told me Sarah really likes you and says how nice your ass is in your football uniform. Yeah it is nice," Paul's looking at my ass as I throw my books back into my locker. "I do have a nice ass. Thanks for noticing man," I am always joking around with Paul. Though I really do think I have a nice ass. The bell rings and Paul and I go to our first class. I say goodbye to him. We have all the same classes except for our first class. Bruce made me choose an extra math class for an elective instead of wood shop like I wanted to. He said I was too smart to be taking those types of classes. I just didn't see why I couldn't take what electives I wanted to. So for now, I go to the classes he chose for me. It's not so bad; hopefully I'll end up smarter cause of it. I take my usual seat in the back of math class. Next to me sits another kid from the football team. His name is Tyrone. He's black, one of the only blacks in the school. It made him sort of an outcast. I had gotten to like him pretty good. Football wasn't really his sport; he was a 2nd string punter. I heard his sport is basketball, he says he just joined football to keep in shape for basketball. And he's right. Football practices are hard, running with all that gear on. Least adds another 30 pounds to us, plus the heat from the extra pads. Sarah sits in front of me. Her hair smells good. She keeps turning around and looking at me and giggling with Katie. Maybe Paul is right, maybe she really does like me. "Here Derek, here is our worksheet, hurry up and copy it so you can help me on the assignment today," Sarah tells me. She hands me her worksheet and in 5 minutes I have my history worksheet finished. I start to listen to our math lecture. It's really pretty simple, just pre-algebra. The one nice thing about math class is we get about half the class to start on our assignment. I almost always finish so I never have any math homework. Sometimes I need Bruce to help me. He's awesome at math and teaches it to me. Yeah, I guess you can say I'm getting to really like living here. The lecture ends and Sarah turns her desk around to face mine. She's got a huge smile on her face. We basically do our math with no trouble at all. It's starting to freak me out cause she keeps staring at me. I'm gay Sarah. I feel like telling her that. I'm not going to be any girl's boyfriend ever. The bell finally rings and the first class of the day is over. I'm glad to be away from Sarah. Only thing is that I know in about 2 hours I will have another class with her. Paul and I go to our next 3 classes with no trouble at all. We always sit next to each other. Finally it's time for lunch. I grab my lunch and walk through the lunch line with Paul. He always eats lunch at school, even though he can make his own at home. I think he has a hard time getting up in the morning. Or he spends too much time jacking off. Paul lives with his mother only, and she works 2 jobs to take care of Paul. So Paul is almost always home alone, I think that's why he gets to fuck Katie so often. Paul says his mom's first job is at a Denny's being a waitress. At night she works in a club, Paul says she's a bartender. Some of the other boys say their dad watches her strip every night. That's why Paul is in so many fights, trying to protect his mothers good name, well if she ever had a good name. Within minutes Katie and Sarah are sitting down next to me and Paul. Paul starts kissing Katie. It seriously is making me sick. Girls are so disgusting; I don't get how you could want to put your tongue in their mouth. Sarah is scooting her chair closer to mine. "So what's for lunch Derek?" Sarah asks me. "Sandwich, some grapes, a can of apple juice and a piece of chocolate pie," I answer as I take a big bite of my sandwich. "Oh I have a sandwich, chips, and an apple." That's nice; I don't really care what she's eating. Lunch ends and Paul and I go to gym class, science, and finally to our history class. The bell rings for the second time signaling that we are late to class again. "So nice of you to join us Paul, Derek. Stay after class and we will talk about it some more," Mr. Elbert tells us. I hear Sarah say something about cute, and Christian say how he'd do me too. The whole class laughs, it's so embarrassing. Christian is this faggy 15 year old in our class. Everyone knows he is a fag, and he will admit it to you. I promise myself I will pay him back for that. After class Mr. Elbert yells at us about being late, and how if we are late one more time it's detention for us. We run down the hall ignoring the do gooder hall monitors to make it to practice on time. Luckily we do. Practice goes pretty good and I go to the showers to clean up. Some of the guys give me a little grief about what Christian said to me. I really will kill him later. I'm on my way home skating when Bruce pulls up in his SUV. He asks me if I want a ride home. I am pretty tired from football practice so I get in. "Whoa son, you need a shower," Bruce says. "I already took one; it's my clothes in my bag. We had a pretty tough practice today," I reply back, my practice jersey really does stink. "Well make sure you put that in the washer as soon as we get home, then I want that homework done before you do anything else. Do you understand Derek? I don't want anything lower than a B on your report card." "Yeah, I get it." He's always on my back about my grades. Just cause he's never gotten a C in his life. Said he's only got 3 B's in his entire academic career. He's really smart. When we got home I threw my clothes in the washer and started it like Bruce had told me to do. I walked back to the bathroom and took a piss. Holding my dick in my hand after I had pissed I wanted to jerk off. I had only jerked off once today so far. I decided I had better go back and do my homework and jerk off when I was done. I really didn't feel like getting yelled at tonight. I put my books on the kitchen table and got out my history homework. I have 2 worksheets to finish by tomorrow. I also have to do a chapter review in my science class; there is a test next Monday. I'm about finished with my history worksheets when Diana walks in and asks me to help her do her math homework. I tell her to leave me alone; I'm doing my own homework. She leaves and I'm hoping she doesn't come back. "Derek, help your sister with her homework. We help each other in this family. Don't make me take the belt to you son," Bruce threatened me. He had never whipped me before. I wasn't sure he would but I decided today wasn't a good day to figure out if he would. Diana sat down next to me and I helped her in between doing my science questions. Finally it was done and I walked down to my room. I was so ready to jerk off and figured I have about 15 minutes before dinner would be ready. It was Diana's turn to set the table so I was pretty sure no one would be bothering me. I take out my dick from my jeans and start to rub on it. I wish I had some gay porn to look at but I have no idea where to find it. Paul has porn in his bedroom. Sometimes I look at it, it is mostly pictures of women but once in awhile you can see a man naked with the woman. I should ask him where he gets it from. I am really getting into jerking off at this point. Pre cum was starting to run down my hand as I imagine a man holding my head in his hands as he fucks my mouth. It sort of freaks me out that I can get off on rough sex but this is really fucking hot. "What the hell are you doing Derek?" Shit it was Bruce. I knew I was dead. "We need to have a very serious talk son. Go set the table and after dinner we will talk. And don't forget to wash your hands." I walk down to our bathroom and lock the door behind me. I turn on the water but instead of washing my hands I lick my pre cum off of my hand. I take down my pants and wash the pre cum off my dick. I'm still hard. I don't get how this happened; I wanted to cry I was so scared of what Bruce was going to do to me. Maybe I'm just over reacting. "How come I am setting the table? It's Diana's turn," I complain to Anne. Bruce walks in of course. He is always walking in at the worst times. "Don't complain boy, you're already in some trouble," Bruce tells me. "Well, then does she have to do the dishes?" I knew I was pressing my luck but it seriously was her turn. "Don't worry about Diana; I'll take care of it. Just set the table and make sure your little brother and sister clean up for dinner." Setting the table only takes me about 10 minutes tops, but it's not my turn; I already had to help her with her homework. I walk back to the bedrooms and find Danny and Jenny playing chutes and ladders. "Come on, we have to wash up for dinner, you can finish it after dinner," I tell them. They don't complain and follow me into the bathroom. I get the water warm for them and we all wash our hands. After they are done washing their hands I grab a towel and wet it. Danny's face is all stained with red kool-aid. I start to scrub it off of his face. "Oww, Derek you're hurting me," Danny is almost crying. I guess I didn't realize how hard I was scrubbing on him. "Sorry Danny, guess I didn't realize how hard I was doing it." I really am sorry. He's not the one I'm mad at. We walk into the kitchen just as dinner is getting finished. Bruce just has to give me a look and I help Anne bring the platters of food into the dining room. She had made us fish, and some sort of potato side dish and a salad. She always puts bread on the table but I never eat any of it. I'm not a big fan of bread and rolls. "Gross mom, I'm not eating fish. It smells bad and it tastes worse," Diana is such a whiner. "You'll eat it anyway, too many children don't get any food," Bruce tells her. I think Anne always leaves all the yelling and discipline stuff to him. Danny passes the plate of fish to me and I take a big slice and smile at Diana. Least I never have any problem eating what they give me. Fish is fine, not my favorite but it tastes good to me. I think that is one thing that gets me points in this house. "Derek, what would you like for your birthday dinner?" Anne asks me. "Do you want to go out for pizza?" I see Diana's eyes light up. She loves pizza and we don't really go out for dinner much. I'm seriously contemplating asking for fish for dinner again just to piss her off. "No, I think I just want chicken and mashed potatoes if that's ok." "Sure, that's fine." Anne is so nice to me. Dinner basically goes good. We finish and I ask to be excused. I take my plate and glass and clean them off before I start the dish water for the night. I really don't want to wash the dishes but it might make Bruce happy. "Derek, in my office now. Diana, you're doing the dishes since Derek set the table for you," Bruce's tone scares me. I really don't know what he's going to do. "But daddy, I don't feel very good still," Diana whines. The sound of her voice is so damn annoying. Least I know why I had to set the table; she faked the not feeling well again. I wish I can stick around to hear Diana get yelled at but I know if I don't keep walking to his office he will be even more pissed. As I open the door to his office I stand in the middle of it. I'm not going to touch anything; this is one room that's off limits. The door opens and Bruce walks in. He sits at his desk and has me sit down in another chair. "Now lets talk about what happened today son. I understand that at your age your hormones are in overdrive. If you are going to masturbate I want it done in the bathroom with the door locked. You are not going to be out in the open playing with your penis while you have 3 females in the house and a little brother. You're going to have to learn to be a man and control yourself because I am not going to have some disrespectful little boy in my house. You are going to respect this family. Do you have anything to say for yourself son?" Bruce asks. I thought this was supposed to be us talking. Sounds to me like he's doing all the talking. "No, I guess not. I didn't mean to, I didn't know anyone was gonna walk in on me. It's just I can't get any privacy around here," I quietly say. "Open that bottom drawer and get a paddle out Derek." "What the fuck Bruce, I didn't do anything wrong you can't hit me." I start to flip out on him. "You are way out of line here Derek; get the paddle out or else," I don't give him a chance to finish; I just grab it and give it to him. He has me pull down my jeans but he leaves my boxers on. The worst physical pain of my life came that night. That paddle came down on my ass 25 times. By the end of it I'm crying quietly, tears are flowing from my eyes and he helps me stand back up. I had never been paddled or spanked before. "When you need a release, just use the bathroom son. Now I want you in your room on your bed until I come in and tell you to get up. No books or video games or TV, just lay there until I come in, understand?" "Yeah," I tell him. My ass is on fire. I just want to go to sleep and forget about it. Danny is in the room and asks me what is wrong. I tell him Bruce hit me for something I did earlier and I don't want to talk about it. His eyes get wide when I tell him Bruce had hit me. He gets on the bed with me and says he is sorry. I just asked him to leave. He kind of has this sad look in his eyes but does as I ask him to and leaves, closing the door behind him. As I lie on my bed, I begin to think about what had just happened to me. I start to bone up as I think about it. What the fuck, some guy had just paddled the crap out of me and I'm getting hard over it? I am really getting turned on as I rub my dick through my jeans. I pull my hand away knowing if Bruce walks in on me I'll get it twice as bad. Maybe I'll take another shower before bed and jerk off, least he told me I can still jerk off in there. Screams wake me out of my day dreams. It's Diana. She sounds like someone is slicing her throat. I want to go see what is happening but I'm afraid of what Bruce would do. I decide to stay right where I am. "Derek, Derek, guess what?" The door to my room flies open as Danny runs in. "Dad is paddling Diana just like he did you. You don't think he's gonna hit me too do you?" I can hear fear in Danny's voice. "Of course not, you didn't do anything wrong. Diana's probably getting it for lying to him to get out of doing chores. That and you know how he is about not eating the food we get. Don't worry bro, he won't hit you," I try assuring him. "You promise? You won't let him hit me right?" "If you deserved it I would, but I'd stick up for you if you didn't deserve it. But he's not going to hit you, just be good and he won't." I'm sounding like his father now. The door swings open and Bruce walks in. I can still hear Diana yelling. "Danny, can you give your brother and I a few minutes alone? Thanks son." Danny walks out and Bruce sits down on the bed with me. "How are you doing Derek?" He asks me. "Fine, I guess. Just I'm sore some," I don't look at him when I answer. I just look down at my feet. "I know, but I want you to learn, and this will stick with you a lot longer than me yelling at you. You're a good boy Derek, but you have a lot to learn still. I just want you to think a little bit more about things before you do them. I haven't forgotten about your little explosion in my office either, but this time I'll let it go." "Yeah, I'm sorry I said that to you. Just I was mad and didn't know what to do. I know I was wrong I'm sorry." "Come on son, give me a hug." I step into his embrace but don't hug him back. I'm just not ready to forget about my own dad yet. "You handled it a lot better than Diana." "Yeah, what did you do to her?" "Gave her 10 with my hand. She's a whiner son, you know that. For your first time you handled it very well. I'm real proud of you Derek. Now I want you to go give Danny his bath. Make sure you wash his hair too." "Has Jenny taken hers? Cause I want to take a shower when they are done. I still feel sweaty from football." "No she hasn't. And Derek, there is no need to make excuses to me. I was once 15 too. Birthday is in 3 days." Bruce walks out of my room. I am glad he didn't get on me more for lying to him, but I'm not comfortable with telling him I want to jerk off. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the water for a bath. When the water is a good temperature I put the plug in and go to find Danny. He's in the living room watching the cartoon network. "Danny, Bruce says you need to take a bath now. Come on let's go. It's getting close to your bed time," I tell Danny. Danny has to be in bed by 8:30, and it was already 7:45. I used to never have a bedtime with my parents or at my last foster home. Now Bruce made me go to bed by 10:00 on school nights, midnight on weekends. Danny followed me down the hallway into the bathroom. I closed the door and helped him pull off his shirt. I was glad he was at a young age where no one made fun of him for being black. In this area the people are pretty racist. He's a cute boy, has real nice skin since he's biracial. He pulls off his pants and batman briefs and I pick him up and put him into the tub. He could get in on his own but every time he does he gets me wet. I sit on the bathroom counter and let him play in the water before I make him get clean. I always let him play in the tub some before he has to get clean. He's got his action figures in the tub with him. One is the blue ninja turtle and the other one is a red power ranger. Sometimes they fight against each other; sometimes they fight against one of his other toys. You would think at 8 years old he could take his own bath, but Bruce still made me watch him. I guess I would feel pretty awful if he got hurt cause I wasn't watching him. "OK, Danny, apple or raspberry tonight?" I ask him. "I don't want my hair washed, you just washed it 3 days ago," Danny tells me. "Too bad, you're getting it washed. One day you'll like taking baths and showers. Apple or Raspberry?" I ask again. "Apple, can't I play a little longer though?" His eyes are begging me to let him. I can't say no to him. I look at the clock. It's only 8. I jump back and sit on the edge of the counter while he is happily playing away. Jeez, if I could be happy by just playing in a bathtub. Guess it is a perk to being young. "Ok, now we gotta clean up or you will be late to bed and I'll get yelled at for it." I pick up the bar of soap and make Danny stand up. I scrub his chest and back and arms. I soap up my hands and rub it over his ass. He turns around so I can do his front. I used to make him clean his own equipment but he's uncircumcised and he ended up getting an infection because he didn't do it right. By now he's so used to me doing it he's not shy at all. He's my little foster brother. I don't think of him in a sexual way. I make sure he's real clean, I'd hate to think how much pain there is for an infection in your penis. I go down and scrub his legs. He's got dirt down on his ankles from playing. I scrub it off with a wash cloth and have him sit down in the water. He lifts his feet for me to wash those good. Finally his skin is clean and I rinse all the soap off him. I have him lean back and get all the soap off of him. Then I start on his hair. For being half black he doesn't have that curly kinky hair. It's rather straight really. Bruce keeps his hair short, every 3 weeks the 3 of us go to get our hair cut. He let's me choose how I want my hair but not Danny. Finally he's done. I drain the water and turn on the shower to get all the dirty water off of him and to rinse his hair without it getting the dirty soapy water back in his hair. I turn it off and he stands there naked shivering. I wrap him up in a towel and he follows me back into our room. I pick out a pair of pajamas for him and let him get dressed. Its 8:20, he has to hurry up. "Danny, come on hurry up," I tell him. He puts on his shirt and we go back to the bathroom where I comb his hair and give him his toothbrush. I pick up his clothes and throw them in the laundry room while he finishes up. He goes back to our room and I go to tell Anne he's ready for bed. They still tuck him in. Bruce is in the living room reading the newspaper. I can hear Jenny in the bathroom running clean water for her bath. "Can I watch part of the football game that's on tonight?" I ask Bruce. "Did Danny get his bath?" Bruce asks me. "Yeah," I reply. "Then you can, TV is off by 9:15 if you want to get that shower in though. I don't want you late for bed again like the last 2 nights. You're growing up son and I'm gonna be a lot harder on you than the other kids. Are you getting excited for your birthday this Saturday?" "Yeah, do you think I could hang out with some friends on Sunday?" "Derek, I don't want you hanging out with Paul, he's a no good thief," Bruce hates Paul. "He's not a thief. And anyway I'm not hanging out with him, I told Sarah I'd hang out with her," I defend Paul. "He's a thief in my book; you know he stole that money from the office at school. Yes, you can go though, but after church." I decide to ignore his comment, yeah everyone knew Paul had stolen it but he had never done anything else that bad. I turn on the TV and tune into the football game until 9:15. I already know Jenny is out of the bathroom so I can go in and take as long as I want, long as it's before 10. I really just wanted to jerk off but i get my hair wet anyway, that way it looks like i just cleaned up well. As I take my dick into my hand and start to slowly rub it I think back to that same handsome man standing in front of me. He's tall, dark, and incredibly handsome. All I want is to go to bed with him, suck his dick, cum all over his chest and have a good nights sleep with him. As I continue to jerk off a great idea comes to me. I get my finger wet and slowly reach back to my hole. Its very soft and warm, wet and inviting. I slowly push my finger in, the first time something had ever been in my ass. Before it's in to the second knuckle my cum fires to the wall. God, being gay is great. MORE TO COME......COMMENTS SEND TO TROYSTHENAME@AOL.COM