Previously in Finding Chance...
"You have any questions about anything?" I heard Eric's voice from down the hallway.
"No." I heard a very familiar male voice reply.
I could hear them getting closer and closer to the day area. When Jake, Eric and the new patient got into the day area. I just stared.
I was happy and sad at the same time.
I was happy that the love of my life was standing there right in front of me. I was sad because I didn't know why he was here.
"Mitch?" He asked.
"Chance. What are you doing here?"
We just stood there staring at each other, not really knowing what to say.
Four Days earlier...
I was so upset. I just wanted to punch the first thing that I saw, so I did. I punched the wall so hard in the hallway of my house that I left a big hole in the wall.
"You feel better now?" My mom asked me.
At this point I hated my mom more than anyone. She claimed to be this sweet church going lady that claimed to love everyone, but here she was doing this to me, her own flesh and blood.
I could hear Mitch sobbing loudly behind the closed door of our bedroom. It was breaking my heart and I knew it was breaking his.
My mom looked up at me, giving me a go to hell look.
"What would your father say?" She asked me. "What would he think if he knew that you were screwing around with some guy? He's rolling over in his grave as we speak."
When things didn't go her way, she always brought up my dad and tried to use him against me. Even thought he was killed when I was four I still had very vague memories of him and I outside playing baseball, fishing and all sorts of fun stuff.
I still remember it. I thought he was sleep for the longest time and kept asking every night when was daddy going to wake up. When I was a little older and was able to understand things more, I remember finding some newspaper clippings that my mom had saved.
The headline for one of them: Local Officer Slain during Prostitute Sting. I remember reading it then crying for days after. The pimp of one of the whores had shot my dad.
"My dad would be happy. He'd love me no matter what unlike you!" I shouted.
She slapped me across the face. It stung. She grabbed me by my ear, twisted and pulled me down the hallway to her bedroom door. She opened her door and pushed me inside, making me fall down on the bed. She slammed the door behind us.
"You are a disgrace to this family!" She shouted. "You're going to burn Chance! You're going to burn in the fiery pits of hell! He hath no mercy on you!"
"I love him mom!" I shouted. "Have you not noticed it?"
She slapped me again. I could feel the tears began to stream out of my eyes.
"What is it about that boy? What can he give you that no girl can?" She shouted.
"I love him mom. I'm sorry. I have spent all of my life trying to live up to what you want me to be and I'm sick of it. Why do you think all of my girlfriends break up with me? Because I won't have sex with them because I find it repulsing! I'm sorry I can't help the way I was born!"
She stood there, her beady little brown eyes fixated on me as I lay there emotionally helpless.
"He's another boy! You can't love another boy, its wrong!"
"You know mom, it's about time you look at your own life. You sleep with Frank every chance you get. Mitch and I have never even had sex."
She walked over to her closet and opened it. She reached around to the back of the closet and pulled out a black leather belt. She walked over to the bed with the belt and stood over me.
I knew this belt. This was the belt that she used to beat me with not too long ago. She quit when Mitch had moved in. She hadn't laid a hand on me until today when she slapped me.
I don't like talking about it, because I don't want anyone to know how she always abused me. I thought the abuse was over.
"I'm going to beat the sin out of you!" She shouted at me.
She raised the belt high above her head. She brought it down on my leg. It stung very badly.
I screamed from the pain.
"You tell me you don't like guys!" She hit me again, this time on my back.
"I love him mom. You can't change that." I cried.
She hit me on the back again. She wasn't caring where she hit.
She looked up at the ceiling. "Father forgive him, he no not what he do."
She brought the belt down again. I could feel the buckle hitting my spine. I was holding my breath now. I had learned to do this when I was younger and it made the pain a little more bearable.
She took the belt and wrapped it around my neck, pulling my head back towards her. "Say it. Say you aren't a fag and you can stay in my house."
I looked up at her, tears streaming from my eyes. I know there was no hope. She wouldn't stop until I was dead. She wouldn't stop until her gay son was dead.
"I don't love him. I'm not gay mom. I'm sorry." I pleaded through my every so loud sobbing.
She released the belt from around my neck and looked down at me. "Get yourself off that bed boy and get cleaned up. What you doing?"
I got up off the bed, still sobbing.
"I want you to throw him out. Show me that you aren't a fag."
I looked at her and nodded my head.
We walked over to the door and she unlocked it and opened it. I walked down the hallway and into my room that I had shared with Mitch for the past four years.
I picked his pile of clothes up off the floor.
Mom looked at him. "Get out of this house Mitchell. You are no longer welcome here and I am having the locks changed."
I walked out of the room and to the front door; Mitch following close behind. I opened the door and threw his clothes out.
"What are you doing?" He asked sobbing loudly. "I love you."
I turned around and looked at him. There were no longer tears. My face was glazed over. I just wanted to block everything out. I wanted it all to be over.
"I don't love you!" I shouted. "Just stop fucking with my mind. I don't love you and never will. I'm not a fag like you. Just leave! Now!"
Mitch turned and ran towards the bathroom, slammed the door and locked it. My mom and I stood outside of the door. We could hear water running in the sink and him crying out my name.
"Get out of my house fag! I don't want you anywhere near my son." My mom shouted at Mitch.
I didn't say anything. I just stood there.
After several minutes, the door opened and Mitch came out. His hair was soaked as was his face.
He looked at me. It was breaking my heart seeing him like this. I had hurt the man I love my best friend.
"Fuck you bitch!" He cried out to me. "I don't need you. I don't need anyone!"
He turned and staggered down the hallway and out the front door, headed to who knows where.
I ran back to my room and slammed the door in my mom's face. I ran over to my bed and just sat there crying.
My crying didn't last long. My cell phone rang. I looked down at it and Hannah's name was on the caller id. I figured I'd talk to her. I needed a friend. I needed someone to talk to.
I wiped my eyes and pressed talk on my phone. "Hello." I answered trying not to show I had been crying.
"Mitch! He's hurt I don't know what's wrong with him!" She was hysterical. "I just found him lying in my flower bed almost dead. We called an ambulance."
"We're through." I told her. "It was a mistake. I'm not gay."
"Your boyfriend, your best friend is almost dead."
"What do you want me to do about it?"
The phone went dead. She hung up on me. I didn't know what to do, so I just lay there crying.
I cried the rest of that evening. I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up looked at the clock and then cried myself back to sleep, not even bothering to get out of bed for school.
I was woke up several times by my phone ringing. It was Jason. By the seventh call I had enough. I threw my phone at the wall. It broke in half.
"This is all your fault asshole!"
I fell back to sleep soon after that and slept for a few more hours. All I wanted to do was lay there in my bed and sleep forever.
I felt a hand on my shoulder shaking me.
"Chance. Wake up." I heard someone say.
"Mitch. I'm sorry."
I opened my eyes and looked up. There was no Mitch. It was my friend Nick.
"Wake up buddy."
"What do you want Nick? I don't feel like talking to anyone."
"Well, I tried calling you and your phone rang and rang then went to your voicemail." He told me.
I glanced at the wall where I had thrown my phone which was now on the floor in pieces. "I got sick of Jason calling me."
"Well get up. I'm headed to the hospital to see Mitch. Hannah has been there with him all night." He told me.
I looked at him and shook my head no. "There is no way he wants to see me. Not after last night."
"Dude. He loves you and I know you love him. Come on. Don't be a puss."
I got out of bed, threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor. There were Mitch's and smelled of his cologne. I didn't bother coming my hair it just stood up on my head.
"I don't have a car you know. You are going to have to drive." Nick said to me.
I picked my keys up off the computer desk next to my bed and tossed them to him. "You drive. The way I'm feeling I'd end up killing us both with my driving."
We went outside and got into my car. Nick drove us to the hospital, not talking to each other the whole way there.
The hospital was about twenty minutes away. We walked inside, got in the elevator and walked up to his room. Neither one of us saying a word.
I knew that Nick wanted to say something, but I was in no mood to talk. I was mad at the world.
When we got to Mitch's room, he told me to wait by the door until he came in. I did then finally heard him tell me to come on in.
I pushed the door open and walked inside the room. All eyes were on me. I saw Hannah sitting next to his bed and Liz and some other nurse standing my door.
Hannah glared at me as I walked into the room.
"We will go and let you all talk," Liz said, "but the first time we hear fighting out of this room we won't hesitate to call security.
She and the nurse left the room.
I just stood there staring at Mitch. He looked like he had been through hell. They had his arms strapped to the bed. His hair had grass in it; he was hooked up to oxygen.
Mitch looked at me. "I love you baby."
I kept staring down at him. I was at a loss of words. I didn't know what to say.
"I know you do Mitchell." I told him.
"Don't you love me too?" He asked.
I looked around the room at each one of my friends. "I can't do this."
I turned around and ran out of the room. I ran out of the hospital. I ran and ran for what seemed like hours until I couldn't run anymore.
I was finally in front of where I wanted to be. This was his fault. I hated him. I wanted to make his life as miserable as he had made mine the past few days.
I rang the door bell.
The door opened and a man came to the door. He had on a pair of checkered boxers, a tank top that had his beer gut hanging out and a beer in his right hand.
He belched loudly in my face.
"He's in his room."
I nodded my head.
He moved out of the doorway and I walked inside the house. I knew my way around the house well having been there several times before. I walked down the hallway and opened the last door on the right.
I went inside the room and slammed it shut.
Jason turned around and looked at me. "It's about time you got your ass out of bed."
He was sitting at his computer. I walked over there and stood behind him. He was looking at a porn sight as always.
"You want to go pick up some of these?" He asked not bothering to turn around and look at me.
"This is all your fault," I said in a monotone.
"What the fuck you talking bout dude?"
"Me Mitch. I love him. You told my mom. He tried to kill himself."
I was mad. Just the sight of the asshole was getting me going. I grabbed him and put him in a headlock before I knew it. I pulled him back and he and the computer chair fell over on me.
I just held him there. I could feel him gasping trying to breathe.
I looked down at him. "I should kill you. I hate you."
I let go of him. His head fell hitting the hardwood floor of his bedroom.
"I don't want to go on dude. I don't want to live without Mitch."
I walked over to his night stand and opened the drawer. I knew what I was looking for. I reached in and took one of the knives out of his knife collection. It was one of the sharper ones.
We had played with it before when we were still on good terms.
I took the knife in my hand and went and stood over Jason, who was still lying on the floor in the fetal position where I had left him.
I opened the knife revealing the razor sharp blade.
"My blood is on you." I told him as I looked down at him.
I took the knife and ran it across my left wrist. I could feel the blood as it started to flow out of the cut I had just made in my wrist. I held my wrist above Jason and let a few drops drip onto his face.
I ran the knife over my right wrist this time going deeper. The blood started running out staining the floor and Jason.
I looked down at him as he looked up at me not believing what I was doing. "I'm going to tell the cops that you did this to me. The knife is yours ya know. It has your fingerprints on it. I saw it on television."
I looked down at him and grinned.
The next morning I woke up and looked around. I could see someone sitting in a chair in my room. I got a closer look. I wasn't my room. It was the hospital room.
Lets just say my plan didn't work. I was stupid I supposed. I just wished I could have finished what I started. I just wanted to die.
"Who are you?" I asked when I woke up.
I could see the person sitting there had on a pair of green scrubs, but I couldn't see what his name tag said.
"I'm Ben." He replied.
"Well Ben I'm Chance. I wanted to die and lets just say I didn't succeed at it. Wana give me a hand buddy?"
Well, lets just say that last statement I probably shouldn't have said. He had to report it to the nurse who just happened to be Liz.
She came in and talked to me for a minute. She asked what happened with me and Mitch and why we both had tried to end our lives.
I was there for another day and a half. They monitored my wounds. When they released me I had to go to Panorama Health.
Oh great. I thought. A nice visit to the nut house.
Four Days Later (Present time)...
My mom, being the bitch that she is, had it fixed so that she and my sister were the only people that could call me. She said that she didn't want Mitch finding me and talking me into being a fag.
This just made me hate her even more.
I had to go through two very long assessments one in the admission office and another when I got back to the unit that I would be staying on. The nurse that did it was very nice. Her name was Kristy and she said that I could talk to her or the two Psych Techs there if I felt like I needed to talk to someone.
When I got there everyone was still in school.
What could the other people be like? I thought. How crazy are they?
The worst part was when I had to have a strip search. These two guys, both of them very nice and acting like they hated doing the search, talked to me the whole time telling me that everyone was going to be ok.
I found out that their names were Eric and Jake. Eric worked on the unit that I was going to be staying on and Jake worked on the one next door.
As we walked down the hallway and out into the day area, I noticed that school had gotten out. I also noticed someone standing at the nurse's station talking to Kristy.
I froze right there as I saw who it was.
Mitch stood only a few feet in front of me. He turned around. His face lit up as he saw me.
"You are no longer the newest one here Mitch." Kristy told Mitch. "This is Chance and he is next door to your room. You two might people to relate to each other. Why don't you talk and see if you can get to know each other."
"We already know each other." We said in unison.
I wanted to hug him so bad. I wanted to grab him and kiss him on the lips but knew I couldn't do that there.
I didn't even know if he wanted anything to do with me. I had broken the heart of my first true love. I loved him so much.
Before I had a chance to reach, Mitch grabbed me and hugged me tightly.
"I forgive you." He whispered in my ear.
"I'm so sorry. My mom forced me to do it."
"I forgive you Chance." Mitch said still hugging me.
I let go of Mitch, not wanting to get in trouble on my first day there. That was one of the things that they emphasized in the rules there was absolutely no touching. They had said there were both guys and girls on the environment an to be safe there was absolutely no touching.
They said there were no boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. They never said anything about boyfriend/boyfriend relationships. They were about to have one if I had my way.
Mitch looked at Eric. "That's my Chance." He smiled.
"Huh?' He asked.
"That's the boy I am in love with. You were right. He came back to me."
Eric nodded his head and smiled. "The rules still apply to you. No relationships. Sorry. I guess they maybe need to add no boyfriend/boyfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend relationships."
Eric turned and walked away.
Mitch led me into the day are where some white plastic chairs were arranged in front of a television. Everyone looked at us as he led me over to two chairs in the corner. He sat down in one and I sat down in the other.
"I need to talk to you." I told him.
"Start talking then babe. I'm listening."
I looked around the room. There were several girls sitting in another row of chairs and would look at us and smile.
"Can we talk alone somewhere?" I asked.
"There's no alone time here anywhere. If you got to go to the cafeteria for dinner we could sit next to each other and talk, but you don't get too seeing how you hadn't been here long enough to go." Mitch told me.
"Can you come in my room tonight before I go to sleep so we can talk?"
"No way. They watch the hallway like hawks." Mitch told me. "I have and idea though."
He got up from his chair and walked over to that group of girls that had been looking at us. They were whispering something that I couldn't hear.
Mitch smiled and came back over and sat down next to me.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
"Well lets just say they are going to distract them tonight at shower time. They are idiots Kelly the nurse always goes and takes a smoke break during showers and Jenna and Henry can easily be distracted. So they are going to distract them and I'm gona sneak into your room."
Four hours later, it was shower time. I had gotten in my shower already, like Mitch had told me too. I heard the main door slam shut and that meant Kelly had gone out to smoke.
I could faintly hear Jenna and Henry out in the hallway talking to someone. I couldn't make out the voices. Didn't know them well enough yet.
"Go Jenna!" I heard one of the girls scream from outside in the hallway.
That's weird. I told myself as I took the bar of soap and started to lather up the wash cloth with it.
"Chance." I heard a whisper.
I opened my eyes and turned around to see Mitch. I suppose the plan had worked. He was in my room watching as I washed myself.
"Will you wash my back for me?" I asked with a big grin on my face. "I can't reach it."
He nodded his head and stepped inside my bathroom. He pulled his shirt off and threw it in the pile of my clothes that I had taken off earlier. He took his shorts and underwear off at the same time and threw them on the floor.
He stepped into the shower with me and wrapped his arms around me.
I pulled out of his grasp and turned around and kissed him.
"I'm sorry Mitch. I never meant to hurt you. I love you and fuck what my mom or anyone else thinks. Can you forgive me?"
He kissed me. "Yes I can." He reached down and grabbed tightly onto my scrotum. "You ever hurt me again and I'll fucking rip your nuts off and feed them to you."
"I'm not going to be able to go back to my mom's house. She used to beat when I was young. She beat me the other day until I told her I wasn't gay. I'm sorry."
He looked up at me and smiled. "I'm sorry. I never knew that."
I grabbed him and turned him around. I started rubbing the bar of soap on his back and slowly worked my way down to his asshole and washing it thoroughly.
He reached around and grabbed my dick which was now fully erect. He started to stroke it. It was making its own lube with a mixture of my precum and the soap from the shower.
"I love you Chance." Mitch told me.
"I love you too Mitch." I whispered in his ear.
"Will you show me how much you love me?" He asked me. "Make love to me baby."
"Here?" I asked.
He nodded his head.
I had never done anything like this before. It all seemed to just come to me naturally. I began to rub my index finger around his tight little hole. I slowly stuck the tip of my finger in. It began to loosen up as I began to rub around his sphincter.
"That feels so good Chance." He stroked my dick. "That would feel much better though."
Mitch took his hands off my cock and placed them on the wall and stuck his butt up in the air. I rubbed the head of my cock on his tight little hole. I slowly pressed my cock head against his hole until I felt it open up letting me in side.
"Does that feel ok?" I asked him. "I don't want to hurt you."
He nodded his head.
I slowly eased the rest of my cock into him and let it rest there, not wanting to hurt him. I pulled back after a couple of seconds leaving it half way in him. I slowly pushed it back in him.
"Your cock feels so good in me." Mitch whispered. "I have been waiting for this for so long."
"I'm sorry for hurting you."
"I forgive you." Mitch told me. "Just make love to me."
I pulled out until the head of it was the only part in. I slammed it back inside him. He threw his head back and let out a silent moan.
"Give it to me baby." He moaned.
I started slamming my dick into his tight little ass harder and harder. Faster and faster. I reached around and grabbed his dick and started jacking him off.
"Cum for me baby. I wana see you cum." I whispered in his ear.
I stroked his cock faster and fucked him faster and harder. I could then feel his cock throbbing in my hand.
My cock began to make the same throbbing inside his hole as I fucked him.
"I'm going to cum." Mitch moaned.
I stroked his cock fucked him. I could feel the cum shoot out. It hit the shower. Another shot landed on the toilet lid. I jerked his cock until it was dry.
At the same time I could feel the cum as it filled up my cock and shot out of the head, filling up his tight little hole. I stood there still inside of him, not wanting this moment to end.
I eventually went limp and slid out of his hole.
He kissed me. I slid my tongue in his mouth, making out with him passionately.
He broke our kiss and looked at me. "I should get back to my room before they realize something is up."
He kissed me again. I walked over to my door and stuck me head out and peeked down the hallway. The girls were still talking to Jenna and Henry.
I came back in my room.
"Coast is clear." I said as I kissed him.
He kissed me back. "Good night. I love you."
I hope you enjoyed this chapter of "Finding Chance". As always please send your questions, comments and suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you for reading,