Finding Love: A Journey
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2007 by the author)

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual activities between males.  If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or homosexual themes, leave this site now.

The characters in this story do not always practice safe sex.  Remember this is fiction.  You should always use a condom for the your protection and especially for the protection of the one you love.  The author recommends only safe sex.  Be wise and follow safe sex practices.

Several songs are quoted in this story. The copyrights to these are held by the artists or their publishers and not by the author. They are quoted as a tribute to the artist and the piece.

All persons in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

All other disclaimers apply. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 12

When I awoke hours later, I found Sadie sitting by my bed.  Somehow I wasn't able to understand why she would be here in my room, but I was very tired and I began to fall asleep again.

"Jacob, honey.  You have to get going.  Today's a school day.  Is Brad picking you up or do you want me or your dad to take you to school?"


"Jacob, it's nearly six forty-five and you have to shower, dress and have breakfast.  Come on, Jacob, get going."

With that she pulled back the covers and I worried that I was naked and she and I would both be embarrassed, but I quickly recognized that I was still in my clothes from yesterday.  I looked at the smiling Sadie and asked,

"What happened, Sadie.  Why am I still dressed in yesterday's clothes?"

"You had a tough and eventful night, Jacob.  There was your dad's announcement, then his discovery about you and Brad, and finally his acceptance of both of you...all that would be plenty for anyone to handle..  He wants to help you, Jacob.  And he really likes Brad.  He thinks Brad is mature and good for you.  Is Brad picking you up for school?"

"Yeah, at seven thirty."

"Well, you had better get that young bod of yours out of bed or you'll miss him and he'll go crazy.  Come on, up and at `em." 

I laughed.

"You sound just like Brad.  Or maybe he sounds just like you.  I'll be down to breakfast in ten minutes.  Thanks, Sadie, for being here with me.  I appreciate it." 

Sadie was almost to the door of the bedroom when she turned and told me,

"You should know, Jacob, that your father and Diane took turns with me so that you wouldn't be alone at any time during the night.  They both love you, Jacob, have no doubt about that." And she was gone.

After I had relieved myself and as I was stripping for my shower, I pondered what Sadie had said to me.  How things had changed in a few short hours. I was just about to get into the shower when my cell phone rang?  I dashed into the bedroom and after a moment of hunting I found my phone and flipped it open, returning to the bathroom.

"Hey!" came the voice I loved to hear.


"You awake?"


"Whatcha doing?"

"I'm standing in the bathroom, naked and just about to get into the shower."

"Fuck!  Wish I was there with you.  We could..."

"So you missed me?"

"Of course!"

"I missed you."

"Hope so!"

"Whatcha doing, Sweetheart?"

"You don't want to know."

"But I do."

(Brad's laughter.)

"You'll be sorry."

"No, I won't.  Come on, tell me."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I have been warned, now get it out."

(Brad in hysterics.)

Between guffaws, he exclaimed, "I'm taking a dump!"


"I warned you," he said as he continued to laugh.

"Funny, funny, secret shitter," I said, now unable to control my laughter.

"I love you, Jake."

"Sure you do and you tell me as you're taking a shit."

"No matter what I'm doing, I will always love you."

"Same here, but  I gotta get goin'.  I need to take a shower,  get dressed and have breakfast.  I'll meet you at the gate at 7:30.  I'm a little scared about school." 

Brad laughed and said,

"Not to worry, Baby, you're gonna knock `em dead!  Now get washed and dressed.  I'll see you in a few minutes.  Gotta do you know what?"

"Do what?"

"For heaven's sake, Jake, I gotta wipe. . ."

"Too much info!  Good bye!"

I flipped the phone shut, put it on the sink and got into the shower.  In a few minutes I was finished, albeit with a hardon.  I was happy!


When I arrived at the dining room, Diane and my father were sitting at the table drinking coffee.  I assumed it was their second or third cup.  Diane got up immediately and came to me, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek.

"Did you get a good night's sleep?" she asked.

"Yes, I did.  Thank you, Diane, and you Dad for keeping watch over me last night.  I was a mess.  I'm sorry that you had to see me in that state.  I don't remember much after Brad left.  I guess I'm just a wimp."

My dad was on his feet and came over to me.  He looked stern and I wondered what I had done to change the tone in the room.  First he hugged me and I relaxed and hugged him back.  Diane stood just a little away from us and watched.

"Jacob, don't ever call yourself a wimp in this house again.  You are NOT a wimp!  You're a wonderful young man, and last night you had to deal with some serious things.  I know I am old by your measure, but I know when I see two people in love, and Jacob, it's pretty obvious that you and Brad are deeply in love.  Diane and I want to do all we can to help you two guys to be together as much as possible.

"I know that Brad's parents have a dislike, almost unnatural hatred for gay people.  I might have preferred that you would have been straight and married a lovely girl and produced some grandchildren for us, but that's not the way it's going to be.  Don't worry about that, Jacob, because what all of us want, Diane, Sadie and me, is that you are happy.  Brad makes you happy." 

With a chuckle, he added,

"At least Brad makes you happy until he leaves."

"Douglas!" said Diane.

"It's okay, Diane, because it's true.  It hurts so much when he leaves me.  He could be down here talking with you two and I could be up in my room studying and that would be okay because I would know that he would hold me in bed and we would be happy together.  Do you understand?"

Diane moved to me again and I got another hug and kiss.  She rubbed my shoulders and smiled at me.

"Sit down and have some breakfast, Jacob.  We do understand, too.  After all, you're in love.  When you love someone, you want to be with them.  That's why your father and I got married; we wanted to be together all the time.  Now relax and think about meeting Brad in a few minutes.

"Thanks, Diane and Dad, I'm so happy that you are here with Sadie and me.  You make me happy, too."

Sadie came into the dining room carrying a plate with a couple of fried eggs, some bacon, and toast.  In her other hand she had a large glass of orange juice.  She came over to me and set the food before me.  She kissed me on the top of the head, smiled at Doug and Diane and left the room.

"Now eat," said my Dad.

In moments the plate was cleaned of all food, and in a gulp or two, I emptied the large glass of orange juice.  I looked at my dad, waiting for permission to leave the table.

"You're excused, but before you leave, here."  My father handed me a twenty dollar bill.  "Buy Brad's lunch."

I smiled broadly at my father and then hugged him tightly, telling him,

"I love you dad, I really do."

After saying that, I hurried out of the house and practically ran up the driveway to the gate which Sadie had opened.


Brad had not arrived yet, so I sat on the curb and waited.  I had only been sitting for a couple of minutes when an older model Ford pickup came careening down the road.  It screeched to a stop, and Herman Shanks shouted at me,

"You lousy faggot, you're on my hit list.  Watch your back, you cocksucking queer, `cause I'll find you and give you what you want."  The pickup screamed away, and I stood there, white-faced and shaking.

As Shanks roared up the street, I saw Brad driving down toward the gate.  Shanks steered his truck into the opposite lane and drove directly toward the Mustang.  Seeing what was about to happen, I screamed, and as I did, Shanks swerved back into his own lane and sped away from the scene.

In the Mustang, Brad was shaking and slowed the Mustang to a crawl, taking care to remain in control of his quivering body.  By now my dad, Diane, and Sadie were out at the gate having heard my bloodcurdling scream.

I was running toward the Mustang which had almost stopped.  When Brad saw me, he braked to a stop, shut off the engine, pulled on the parking brake, and jumped out of the car, running toward me.  We two running boys were reminiscent of that old TV ad of the couple running through the field toward each other. We two lovers met in the middle of the street and were in each others arms, kissing wildly. 

My dad was the first to reach us, soon followed by Diane and Sadie, all of them breathless.  As the women hugged both of us, my father demanded,

"What the hell's going on, Jacob?  What happened?"

Neither of us answered, we just kept embracing.  Brad was whispering into my ear, trying as best he could to calm me down, even though he himself was rattled by what had happened.

"Dad, dad, he tried to force Brad off the road and kill him.  My God, he's crazy.  He's crazy," I yelled.

"Try to calm down, Baby.  I'm fine, just a little shaken up.  Did he try anything like that with you, Jake?  Did he?" asked Brad

"Jacob, did this person try to hurt you?  Did he?" demanded my father.

"No Brad, no dad!  He just threatened me and called me some really foul names and stuff.  It's the second time he's threatened me and Brad.  He's crazy, dad, he's crazy," I was able to say before I shuddered and Brad embraced me again.

Diane and Sadie stood quietly by, but it was obvious that they were very distressed.  They looked at Douglas and seemed to be trying to send him a telepathic message.  When that didn't seem to be working, Sadie stepped forward and asked,

"Who is this crazy person?"


"Well, let's have it," demanded my father.

Brad stopped hugging me and stepped over to my father.

"Mr. Neilson, it might be better to just let this be.  What I mean is that if we tell you who it is, you'll want to do something about it.  And, well, that might just make matters worse.  He hates us because we're gay, but it's weird because I think he is, too. What he wants is to have rough sex and he delights in hurting people.  It will be a long year, but I think Jake and I can make it through.  Will you please let us try?"

"Please, dad, please," I begged.

My father looked at the two women and it was clear that they wouldn't let it drop.  Douglas Neilson knew that better than anything else he had been sure of in his life.

"No, Jacob and Brad.  This is one time when we have to take control.  Something has to be done about this; we can't just let it be and then have one of you hurt or worse, God forbid, one of you getting killed," my father said.

"But Mr. Neilson, my parents.  I haven't told them that I'm gay.  Oh my God, they'll kill me."

"Dad, please don't do anything right away.  Let us tell Brad's parents first.  He wants his brother to come down from Gainesville so he can support him when he tells his parents.  Please, dad, please."

My dad looked at Diane and Sadie.  They gave no indication of where they stood on the issue.  Here was a time when Douglas Neilson would have to make a decision which might cost his son and his boyfriend their lives if anything went wrong.  His heart and head both came together in a spontaneous resolution..

"We need the guy's name, well, just in case.  Call your brother and get him down here today.  This is too serious to put off any longer.  Now, boys, the guy's name," demanded my father.

Brad cleared his throat and spit out the name,

"Herman Shanks.  That's the bastard's name."

"Get your car and park it in the driveway.  There's no school for either of you two today, at least not until we get this straightened out.  I want both of you to to meet us in the living room so we can work on this matter.  Now, get going."

We walked hand-in-hand to the car and got in.  The three adults went into the house.  As soon as we were in the car, we fell on each other and held tightly. 

"We have a lot to discuss, Jake.  A lot.  Things seem to be moving faster than I ever thought they would.  I gotta call Chris."

"Call him right now."

Brad flipped his phone open, found Chris's name in his Contacts list, and pushed the send button.  He could hear the phone ringing, and thank God, it was Chris who answered.

"Hey, Chris Mason, here."

"Chris, it's me, Brad."

"Brad, your voice sounds strange.  Is there a problem?"

Now with his voice breaking, Brad said,

"Can you drive down here?  I need you, Chris.  Please."

"Brad, what the fuck's the matter?"

"It's a long story but both Jake and I are fine, but I'm going to have to tell Mom and Dad that I'm gay.  Please, Chris, I need you and Peter.  Please."

"Where are you?"

"We're safe at the Neilson's house.  Jake's dad and some others are here to take care of us.  Everything is fine at the moment.  Please hurry, but drive carefully."

"Where the hell is the Neilson house?"

"Here, let Jake tell you."

In a shaking, obviously emotional voice, I gave him all the details he needed.  I handed the phone back to Brad.

"Thanks for coming, Chris.  I don't know if I could do this without you here. I. . . I. . ." and Brad's voice broke.

"We'll be there in about three hours.  Take it easy, and don't leave the Neilson's, do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand.  I love you, Chris."

"I always knew that, Brad, and you know that I love you.  I'm leaving in minutes.  Bye."

The phone went dead, and Brad laid his head on my shoulder and the tears came.  I mustered all my strength, consoled my lover, and then urged him to get the car in the drive.

Brad drove the Mustang through the gate which immediately closed behind us.

We felt safe.


Chris was still in his boxers and Peter was in bed as neither of them had a class on Monday until late in the afternoon.  Chris hurried into the bedroom and looked at his lover, his naked body uncovered.  He was lying on his back.  He was beautiful Chris thought and he hated to wake him, but Brad needed them.

He walked to the bed and leaned down and kissed Peter's chest, licking one of his nipples.  Peter stirred, but didn't awake.  Chris let his hand wander down Peter's body until it brushed against his lover's penis.  Slowly he stroked it, and very soon it was erect, and a smile appeared on Peter's face.  Suddenly Chris found himself pulled onto Peter's body.  The kissing began, and as much as Chris wanted to make love, he knew there was something more important that needed to be done.

"Hon, we have to drive home.  Brad's in some kind of trouble and he needs to tell my folks he's gay.  He wants us both to come; he asked that you come with me.  He's scared, Pete, I could tell from his voice.  He almost broke down.  Can we use your car? I'll buy the gas."

"Chris, let's get our asses moving.  We'll worry about gas and that shit later.  If Brad wants us there, shit no, if he needs us there, then we're going to get there as soon as humanly possible without sacrificing our safety.  Let's take a quick shower, and as much as I hate to say this, let's forget the fun stuff.  We can pick something up at McDonalds or somewhere, and can have our breakfast while we drive.  Hey, have I told you how much I love you, Chris?."

"And I love you, Hon.  You're wonderful to help Brad.  Let's get going."


Herman Shanks laughed like a mad man as be drove toward Brad Mason's Mustang.  `I bet he's scared shitless,' he thought.  Serves him right.  After the near crash, Shanks had pulled into the parking lot at the Publix Supermarket, parked and sat there waiting for his heart to slow down.  He actually had gotten some sexual satisfaction from almost killing Mason.

Shanks thought about Jacob.  The cute little fucker turned white and was shaking like a dog shitting on a briar.  He probably pissed himself.  Shanks laughed.  How he hated those two bastards.  He needed to talk to Ray Gline and Hugh Cranksin.  They were like him.  They hated the kind of guys Mason and his bitch were.  Faggots!  Even though he and his two friends shared sex, none of them considered themselves gay.  He just fucked ass, male or female.  He and his buds didn't kiss or suck cock.  They jerked off and fucked the unsuspecting losers they picked up.

His mind was working hard trying to come up with a plan that would take care of those two creeps.  Even if the bitch lived in the big gated house, he knew he could find a way.  All he had to do was wait, have patience, and plot. 

He was smarter than either of them.  He knew they would do something stupid and he would be waiting.  Yes, and Ray and Hugh would help him.  All they would want would be a turn with the bitch.  He laughed out loud.  Mason needed to be put in his place.  His arrogant ass would be ripped apart, but not until he gave Shanks what he wanted.

Time was on his side.  He could wait.  He laughed aloud again. It was a spiteful, almost maniacal laugh.


When Brad and I went into the house, we found Sadie, Diane, and my father in the kitchen drinking coffee and tea.  It was apparent that we had interrupted a conversation that was not meant for us to hear, but it sort of pissed me off because I thought if it was about us, we should have the right to hear it.

"Let's go into the living room where we can all be comfortable," my father said.  Diane and my Dad got up and headed for the living room.  Sadie waited.

"Would you two like something to drink or eat?"

"No, I think we're okay, aren't we Jake?" said Brad.

"I'm fine," I said. 

The three of us headed to the living room where we found my dad and Diane seated in chairs that had been pulled up nearer the sofa.  There was one additional chair waiting for Sadie.

"Look. guys, don't think of this as some sort of inquisition, because it isn't.  All we really want to do is make sure that you two guys are safe and happy.  Brad, we know that this may cause you some personal problems with your parents and we're sorry about that.  We just hope that you understand that it is necessary for us to do something constructive about this Shanks character," my father said.

Brad looked at the floor and then at me.  I took his hand and led him to the sofa where we sat down.  He then looked at my father, his eyes moist with surpressed tears,

"I do understand, kinda.  It's just that I'm terrified at facing my parents and telling them that I'm gay.  They're going to flip out," he said.

"Did you get in touch with your brother?" asked Diane.

"Yeah, he'll be here in a few hours.  They were going to leave in minutes," Brad answered.

Sadie looked at me with great concern etched on her face.  She looked to my dad who nodded his head, and then Sadie spoke,

"Jacob, Brad, I called Father Jim.  He's coming over in an hour or so.  He understands about you two guys and he wants to help.  He thinks, as we do, that this guy who's threatening you needs to be stopped.  But he's more concerned with you two and what this is doing to you psychologically and emotionally.  I hope you don't mind that I did this.  In fact, the three of us were discussing it when you came in from outside."

I whispered into Brad's ear asking him if it was okay with him, he shook his head `yes'.  I took a deep breath, mostly so that I wouldn't start crying again, and I told Sadie,

"It's fine with us.  We know what a great guy Father Jim is, and if he's concerned about us and wants to help, than we're fine with that."

Brad squirmed a little on the sofa, squeezed my hand three times, and spoke quietly but with an urgency in his voice.

"I wish our minister would be supportive, but he's one of the reasons my folks are so set against gays.  He's always quoting scripture to show that God is against gays.  I know that's not true.  God is not against anyone.  How could He be?  He created us the way He did.  No, I think some of the people who are so opposed to gays are probably afraid of their secret desires.  Anyway, it will be nice to have a member of the clergy who understands us.  I like Father Jim."

Diane got up and came over and sat between the two of us.  She put her arms around us, holding each of us.  Then she kissed me on the cheek first, and then did the same to Brad.  He smiled, then looked at me, and quickly kissed her back on the cheek.  My dad smiled broadly.  I kissed Diane, too.

"We may not understand completely, boys, but we have a small idea of what having a relationship like yours must be like.  You can't ever let your guard down for fear that the wrong person will start gossip and you will be "out".  On top of that there's the whole matter of school and your friends and the attitude of both of them to gays.  In a frightening way, you can't trust anyone. 

"And then there's the family.  It's not only the parents who may be a problem, but also the siblings.  A brother hates you and won't speak to you because you're gay.  He fears that your gayness will tarnish his straightness, and so he attacks, not only at home, but even at school.  He dismisses you as a pariah and wants nothing to do with you.  Sisters may be more accepting, but even they will treat you in a different way.  No more sharing secrets, no more information for you on their latest boyfriend.  It's fear, boys.  Everyone fears for themselves, not worrying about you and the difficulties you are experiencing."

"That's scary, Diane.  I hadn't thought about things like that.  I just want to be with Brad.  I didn't want to hurt anyone, to upset anyone.  I just want to be left alone to love the person I love." I said. 

Brad kissed me on the cheek, and said,

"I've been worried about telling my folks since I realized that I was gay.  But I hadn't thought too much about some of the things you mentioned, Mrs. Neilson."

"Please call me Diane, Brad.  You don't need to call me Mrs. Neilson."

"Okay, thanks Diane."


Sadie saved the day, at least for a bit.  She stood and announced that she had housework to do.  Then she suggested that perhaps Brad and I could go to the suite and relax for a bit before Father Jim came.

My father thought it was a great idea and Diane approved  also.  Before we left, my father gave us one other bit of information that shook us.

"Father Jim is bringing a young policeman with him whose specialty is hate crimes.  His name is Gary Williamston.  He's not coming officially, just to help us decide what to do.  Sorry if this upsets you, but we all thought it was a good idea to  have some professional help."

"No, no, it's okay.  We'll be in my suite if you need us," I said.


Brad was speechless and just followed me out of the living room and to my suite.  Both of us collapsed on the bed.  The room was quiet.

"Fuck!" shouted Brad.

"Double fuck!" I added.

"Com'ere." he ordered.  I rolled into Brad's arms and our mouths came together in a gentle kiss.  "I'm so sorry, Baby," Brad said,  "I never wanted it to turn out this way.  I mean, oh shit. . ." 

I waited for just a heartbeat, and then I asked,

"Brad, do you love me?"

"Why the hell would you ask me that?  Of course I love you."

I sat up and faced him, "Then why did you say you were sorry.  Does that mean you're sorry you love me?"

"Of course not! I meant I was sorry that you had to be hurt or frightened and I wasn't able to protect and to take care of you.  What the fuck am I good for, Jake?  I'm a fuckin' loser." 

What he said really pissed me off.  I jumped on top of Brad and raised my fist.  I wanted to punch him hard and many times until he understood that I was unhappy.  Then he smiled that smile at me and I ended up kissing him instead.

"I could never love a loser.  And you're not one.  You don't have to protect me from everything, even though I love it when you take charge.  `What are you good for?'  Let me tell you Bradley Mason, the most important thing you are good for is me.  If you love me as I love you, somehow we'll get through all this."

"Did you really want to punch me?" he asked.

"You'd  better believe I wanted to punch you.  For a moment, I wanted to beat the fuckin' shit outa you.  But now, I just want to. . ."

In a millisecond clothes were flying around the room, and before we knew it we were naked and entangled.  I was ready for anything, and then I realized the door wasn't locked.  I jumped off the bed and ran to the door of the suite, made sure it was shut tightly and then locked it.

Before I could sprint back to the bed, Brad was picking me up and taking me back to the bed.  We were kissing passionately, and we fell onto the bed, and in moments we were pleasuring each other.

Love can make you forget most anything.


Peter's car was no prize.  It had been his dad's and when Peter was a sophomore in high school, his father gave him the 87 Toyota Corolla which had been driven over 130 thousand miles.  But Peter's dad had always taken good care of the car, always had it serviced when it should have been, was religious about changing the oil every 3500 miles, and keeping it washed and waxed.  The interior looked close to new.  So for a college boy, it was a boat.  Had Peter been out looking for girls, he knew he wouldn't attract too many with the old Corolla.  But it didn't matter because he had fallen in love with Chris.

He looked quickly across at Chris sitting there in the front passenger's seat.  He was, well, the word that really applied was beautiful.  But he thought it wasn't just physical, although that was terrific, but it was the inner Chris: the intelligent man, the athlete, the partner, the supporter of his friends.  Chris cared deeply for him, and because he did, their life together was a joy.  Peter came first in Chris's life, and Peter loved him so much that Chris came first in his life, too.

"You're pretty quiet this morning," offered Chris.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"'Bout what?"



"Yeah, trying to figure out how come I was the luckiest man in the world to have you love me.  Why do you love me?"


"That's not an answer."

"Because you're so hot in bed.  Wow, Baby!"

"Be serious.  But thank you for the compliment.  You're no slouch in the sack either."

"Well, seriously, I love you because you complete me.  Your touch makes me happy.  You talk to me about all kinds of things.  You're intelligent, but not a bore.  Your kindness and caring are phenomenal.  You take your turn, you help with everything, and frankly and truthfully, when you make love to me, you take me away from everything except the two of us.  And I know there are more good reasons, but at the moment, I just can't think of them."

(The car was very quiet.)

"What's the matter, Peter?  Did I forget something important?"

"God, no, Babe.  I'm just embarrassed by all the things you said about me.  It's just..."

"Just what?" I interrupted.

(A long silence.)


"What do you feel all those folks are gonna think when they meet me?"

"Foolish man, they're gonna love you.  You're a super guy."

"But Chris, I'm a mixed blood Chinese!"


"I mean, I know you love me and I love you, but what will  they think, what will Brad think?  Your mom and dad?"

"You asshole!  Brad already loves you because I love you.  He already thinks your pretty great.  And my mom and dad, you've got to be kidding.  If they don't like you, and they probably won't, it will be because you're gay, not because you're Oriental.  And Jacob, from what Brad says, will be happy with you.  As for the rest, well: fuck `em."


"No way, Chris.  You save that for me, Babe."

Quiet returned to the car as it sped south toward a moment in their destiny.  Chris wondered silently what everyone would think of his lover?  No one knew about his ethnicity, but he knew he could count on Brad.  His mom and dad already hated him so no matter there.  And he knew that Peter could hold his own in any confrontation about their sexuality or his race.  It should be quite a meeting.


Brad and I lay on our bed naked and in each other's arms.  We gently kissed each other, caressing each other, feeling the muscles in our partner's backs and hard stomachs.  Our speech was the silent expression of lovers where silence says the most. 

"What are we going to do, Brad?  I mean, at school, on the football team, the swim team, how do we handle ourselves?"

"We just keep being ourselves.  We're not freaks, Baby.  We're not freaks!" 

There was a gentle knock at the door.  Both of us sat up and listened.  Brad pulled up the sheet over our naked bodies.  I snorted.

It was Diane's voice that softly told us that we should come back downstairs as Father Jim and Officer Williamston had just arrived.

"We'll be right there, Diane.  Thanks," I said.

"We'll be out by the pool.  Please meet us there."

We listened carefully and there was no sound.  I started to get out of bed when Brad pulled me back, pushing me onto my back.  He sat on my chest, smiled like a demented killer and told me,

"No way you're going,, Baby, until I have my way with you."

"But, Brad, we don't have time.  I mean I want you to have your way with me, but..."

"Shut up!" he said as he slid down my body and took my erect penis into his warm moist mouth.

"Hmmm," came Brad's garbled comment.

"Oh, God, Sweetheart, please, please...oh yes, oh stop, no, no, don't stop.  We have to stop; they're waiting.   Brad, Brad, oh, yes!"

A louder knock at the door, caused the love making to end abruptly as Sadie's louder voice broke the sounds of our passion.

"Boys, everyone's waiting.  Get with it.  This is no time for dawdling or whatever you're doing.  So move your butts or I'll get the master key, open the door and embarrass both of you."

"We'll be there in five minutes, promise, Sadie," I said.

Brad was already up and pulling on his clothes.  He was snickering, then laughing, and then guffawing.  I couldn't help it and I snorted as I pulled on my thong.

"That was awesome, Sweetheart.  Later, I want to finish what you started.  Promise?"

(More laughter.)

"Promise," Brad told me as he kissed me.

We finished dressing, checked our hair and tried to look normal and not flustered.  Then, hand-in-hand, we left the suite and headed toward the pool area and another adventure.


On the drive to the Neilson estate Father Jim had filled in Gary Williamston on what he knew about the events of that morning.  Gary had picked up Father Jim who had been waiting outside his apartment.  There was something about Gary that unsettled Jim.  Not sure of what it was, he prayed silently that it wasn't sexual.  Gary was straight anyway, so there was nothing to worry about.

Gary asked a couple of questions about details that Jim couldn't answer.  He watched Gary as he drove.  His blond hair was a little longer than Jim kept his, but it was well kept.  He had green eyes and his body showed work and care.  His nails were well manicured, and he was clean shaven and had full lips and gorgeous white teeth.  He was a handsome guy, one that Jim realized he could quickly come to enjoy having around.

"So, Jim, how long have you been at St. Augustine's?" asked Gary.

"A little over six months."

"You like it?"


"What's that mean: mostly?"

Jim thought carefully before he answered.  `Well,' he thought, `be truthful'.  Gary had just stopped at a red light and looked over at the young priest.  He liked what he saw.  He was a little ashamed of some of the thoughts that came flying into his mind.  Gary knew Jim was a priest and that even if he happened to be gay, there was no way that he would act upon it.  That just couldn't happen.

"I love my job, Gary.  And I like pastor Crowley and the congregation.  But it's lonely, and there isn't that much that I can do.  I hate to go anywhere by myself, so I keep to myself.  I stay home and read, go to dinner when invited by a parishioner.  Things like that.  But I won't go to West Palm or Miami to see a show, not by myself.  Television isn't my thing, although I like to watch sports.  I had some friends in Orlando and we did things together.  It was fun.  I just haven't found anyone around here.  I probably will.  I can be patient."

"Hey, I'm sure things will work out for you, Jim.  I'd be glad to go to West Palm for a show or whatever.  Just let me know."

They had arrived at the gate.  Gary announced their arrival over the intercom, and then the gate moved out of the way and they drove up to the house.  A distinguished man met them as they got out of the car.

"I'm Douglas Neilson, thanks for coming.  We really need some help."

"Hello, Mr. Neilson, I'm Jim Durnford and this is Gary Williamston.

"Good to meet you.  If you follow me, we'll sit out by the pool and discuss the matter.  The three men walked into the house.

Gary kept his hand on Jim's back a moment or two longer than necessary as he ushered the priest into the house.   Gary had felt Jim's well-defined muscular back, and the young priest was aware of the lingering hand.  The two exchanged smiles.

Just as they arrived in the kitchen, Brad and I entered from my suite.

"Father Jim, so good to see you again, and so soon," said a smiling Brad.  They shook hands for a moment, and then Father Jim hugged Brad.

"I'm glad to see you, too," I said, "especially if it gets me a big hug." 

Everyone laughed as Father Jim gave me a super hug.  Then he introduced Gary Williamston, who shook our hands firmly, but didn't offer to hug us.  I smiled inwardly as I noticed, as I am sure Brad did, that Gary was a hunk.  In fact, Jim and Gary made a hot couple.  Enough of that kind of thinking.  My father's voice broke into my daydream,

"The ladies are waiting by the pool.  Let's join them, shall we?" 

The was a bevy of `sures', `yes', and similar indicators of agreement.  All the guys exited the kitchen and walked to the pool where they found Diane and Sadie waiting.  After some quick introductions, everyone settled into comfortable chairs.  The morning sun was just beginning to get hot and I longed for a quick swim with Brad, but that would have to wait.

Sadie had prepared some munchies and there was cold lemonade and some canned soda.  Everyone found a place to  sit, but Brad and I continued to stand.  My father began the discussion.

"I would like to review what happened this morning, and I want Jacob and Brad to interrupt me if I happen to get any facts incorrect."

My dad quickly related what had happened that morning, and Brad only interrupted him once to correct him about Shank's pickup truck.  That settled, it came to the juncture where Shanks' name was about to be revealed and with a policeman present.  I actually began to sweat, not from the heat, but from the fear of where this was headed and how suddenly we had lost control of everything.  Brad looked at me and I could tell that he also was concerned.

Gary Williamston looked at the two of us, and curiously smiled at us and asked,

"So this Shanks character hates you two just because you're gay.  Is that right?"

I looked at Brad and he took my hand and we walked to near Gary and Jim.  I was shaking a little, but the secure, warm feeling of Brad's presence helped me to maintain my composure.  Brad spoke slowly and with emotion,

"Sir, it isn't only Shanks that hates us.  Even my mother and father will hate us when they find out..  It's a lot simpler than you might think.  We met only four days ago and we didn't try to fall in love, we just did.  We didn't run about the school shouting that we were gay because we hadn't really expressed ourselves to each other.  That came later, and it involved a lot more than sex, Sir.  We like each other's intelligence, caring attitude, honesty, things like that. 

"We didn't plan to be gay.  We didn't ask to be gay.  We even fought against being gay.  We are what we are, just as you are what you are.  I just know this, I would gladly give my life to protect Jake from the likes of Shanks or anyone else.  I'm ready to give up my home, my parents and many of my friends because I will not deny my love for Jake.  Does that answer your question?"

By this time, tears were sliding down my cheeks, but I pulled myself together and spoke,

"Sir, all I can tell you is this.  I love Brad in every way.  I would do anything for him including die to protect him.  I thank God that my parents have accepted us as good young men who simply love each other.  I . . . I . . ."

Brad pulled me into his arms and held me tightly, realizing that I was emotionally upset.  Diane came over and hugged both of us, followed immediately by Sadie and my father.  We stood there for a few moments, and then we all found our way to seats, with Brad and me sitting on the chaise together.

Father Jim had wet eyes, and Gary sat quietly digesting what we had just said.  Father Jim got up and came over to the chaise where we were sitting.  He sat down between us and taking each of our hands in his, said quietly,

"Jacob, Brad, you two are truly in love and are manifest examples of what I spoke about yesterday in church.  I understand that you will both have to suffer a lot more than is fair or just, but that is the way of the world.  Remember that those who hate you are themselves unworthy of God's love.  I believe that you are loved by the God who created you, and because you are monogamous I do not believe that you are  sinners.

"Boys, I want you to know that I will help you in anyway I can.  I will support you, and ask God each day to love you and to protect you from harm."  He gave us each a hug and returned to his seat near Gary.

"Mr. Neilson, you understand that the local police will probably not want anything to do with this matter.  First, they will say that it is a school matter.  Second, they will say it's just a bunch of gay guys who can't get along, probably  because they want the same boyfriend, and third, they will tell you that they have more pressing matters to look into.  That, of course, is bull.  The real reason is that they don't think gays are worthy of their concern or protection.

"You are aware of the terrible things that have been done to young gay men in all parts of this country.  It's wrong and it's a hate crime.  Finally there is some federal concern for these crimes.  My job is to investigate the circumstances of this morning's attack by the Shanks individual.  He needs to be taken out of the equation and he needs help with his homophobic behavior.  I will be certain to help take care of that.

"Brad, why aren't your parents at this meeting?"


My dad saved the day.  "He's waiting for his brother to arrive from Gainesville so that he can be there to support him when he tells his parents that he is gay.  He should be arriving shortly."


"That's the road right there, East Bougainvillea Lane.  Now Jacob said to look for the yellow wall and to follow it around until we come to a gate with a large flower on it.  Go slowly, Peter, so that we don't drive past it," Chris said.

"Chris, did you see that old pickup with three guys in it?  Funny place to be stopped and just a bit from the gate which is right there," Peter said.

"No, didn't notice it.  We have to stop and push the intercom and let them know we're here," I reminded him.

Peter pulled slowly up to the intercom, pushed the button and waited.  He made a smacking noise with his lips as he looked at Chris. 

"I'll take a rain check on that for later," Chris said as he chuckled.

"Wonder what the delay is?" Peter asked.

"Maybe the servant is taking a piss," Chris joked.

"I could use a toilet right now, I can tell you that."

We waited patiently and shortly there was a pleasant woman's voice,

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"Ma'am, I'm Chris Mason, Brad's brother.  He wanted me to meet him here."

"Of course, Chris, I'm sorry.  I'll open the gate.  Drive in and park next to the other car in the drive.  I'll meet you."

"Thank you."

Suddenly Peter grabbed for me and I heard the roaring of a vehicle, the screeching of tires, and then a horrible crashing sound, bending metal and screams.


Herman Shanks had been on watch outside Jake's home since he discovered that neither Brad nor Jacob were in school.  He had picked up Hugh and Roy, and they were waiting for the two guys to make a move.  Shanks and his buddies were enjoying some beer and marijuana.  The gist of the conversation was about fixing the faggots so that they wouldn't forget.  There was much coarse laughter as the three made their plans.

"Look, isn't that Brad in the passenger seat of that jap junk?" asked Roy.

"It sure as hell looks like him.  But who the hell is the other guy.  I don't recognize him," said Shanks with a burp.

"Hey, Herm, whatcha gonna do?" asked Hugh.

Herman Shanks thought for a couple of minutes.  Then he snickered.

"I'm gonna wait 'til they open the gate and then I am gonna ram the fucking little jap car and push it out of way and into the driveway.  We'll take it from there when we get inside."

"Hold on, Herm, I mean, ain't that a little dangerous?" asked Roy.

"Don't tell me you're a faggot?  You afraid, buddy?"

"Kinda.  I mean anything could happen."

"Roy's right, Herm, better be careful," Hugh added.

Shanks started the truck, pulled out from the parking place and floored the gas pedal just as the gate opened.  But before the car could move, he rammed it as high speed, pushing it into the wrought iron fence.  The sound was deadening.

The truck careened into the yard, flipped onto its roof and slid into the parked car.  Then there was a small explosion and the truck burst into flames.


Everyone was running from the pool area out and into the driveway, led by Gary and Jim with Brad and me close behind.  The rest followed.

When we reached the driveway, I couldn't believe the mess.  My face was hot from the fiary wreckage of the pickup truck.  Above all the other sounds, I could hear my Brad's brother's  voice, screaming,

"Peter, Peter, damn you, Peter answer me.  Please, Peter, are you okay?  God, please don't let anything bad happen to him, please."

And then sobs.  Brad tried to rush to the crumpled car, but I held him back.  Hw fought me, but Brad soon discovered that I was stronger than he thought.

"You can't go there, not now.  The truck's on fire.  Hear the sirens?  That's fire trucks, ambulances, EMT's, everything and everyone that's needed here." 

Now I was crying as hard  as Brad was.   Had our being in love caused all this destruction?   God only knows who's been injured.  Gary and Jim were at the car now, looking in and talking to someone.

"Chris, Chris, are you okay?  Please, Chris, answer me," Brad shouted.

I tried to calm Brad, but I understood how he must have felt.  This was his brother Chris, one of the few people in his life that he had been able to love without any limits.  And now. . .

The firemen arrived at the same time as the ambulances and the EMT's.  The fire was put out immediately, and the some were extricating the guys from the truck, while others were working on the car.  Diane and Sadie had come over to help me with Brad who was in terrible shape.  My dad was at the car talking with Gary and Jim.  There was a lot of head shaking and whispers.  My dad started toward us, when Brad broke away from me and ran to the car.  Father Jim put his arms around Brad and pulled him away from the car.

`My God,' I thought, `something is terribly wrong.'  I ran to Brad and helped Jim with him.  He was screaming now, and even I couldn't alleviate his agony.

"What's happening, Father?" I asked.

"No one is dead, but both the young men in the car have injuries, one more serious than the other.  They gave one a sedative to calm him down.  The other man is unconscious.  He's the one they are working to get out of the car first so that they can transport him to hospital.  The other man, Chris, is hurt, but he can wait for transport."

"Chris, Chris, don't die, please dear God, don't let my brother die.  It's all my fault.  It's all my fault.  If I hadn't asked him to come down here, this wouldn't have happened.  It's all my fault.  Why did this have to happen?  Jake, what did we do wrong?" and then there was continued sobbing, his and mine. 

Sadie was now back with us as was Diane.  I was a mess, too.  I wondered if my being gay and in love with Brad had brought this about so that we could be punished.  I just held on to Brad as tightly as I could.  He just sobbed.  I couldn't speak to console him, so holding him was the best that I could do.

My father came to us, ashen faced.  He looked at Brad and me and I saw tears running down his face.  Diane and Sadie were also crying.

"Two of the boys in the truck are injured, but they should be okay.  One of the boys was killed.  The police are here now.  They'll do the identification.  Father Jim is calling your parents, Brad.  You brother is hurt, but he'll be okay.  He will be taken to the hospital.  The driver of the car, however, is in very serious condition.  The EMT's are concerned about him and he is already on this way to the hospital.  The two boys in the truck are being taken to Palm Hospital South while Chris and the driver are being taken to Palm Hospital North.

I was able to squeak out.  "Who was killed?"

"I don't know who he is.  We'll know that after the police finish.  I think we should go inside now."

"NO!" shouted Brad.  "NO! I want to see my brother, please, Mr. Neilson.  I have to see him.  Jake, make him let me see my brother."

"Dad, please," I begged amid sobs.  Sadie and Diane hugged both Brad and me tighter.

"Just for a second, Brad.  Do you understand, just for a second.  He needs to be taken to the hospital."

"Yes, yes, I understand.  Jake, you have to come with me, please."

"Yup." was all that I could say.

We hurried to the group of men and equipment near the car.  There was a young man on the stretcher.  He was pale and there was blood everywhere.  I could feel Brad's body tense.  All I could think of was to squeeze his hand three times.  The EMT's weren't too happy to see us in the emotional state we were in.  But they moved aside after my father spoke to them.  Brad leaned in and kissed his brother on the forehead, his tears splashing on his brother's face diluting the blood smeared there.  Chris gave no reaction.  I pulled Brad away as the EMT's moved the stretcher to the ambulance and loaded it in.  And then Chris was gone from the terrible scene.

Brad collapsed onto his knees and wept.  I joined him and  both of us were inconsolable.  Father Jim and Gary came to us and picked us up and carried us away from the wreck and toward the house.

I had a frightening feeling that I might lose Brad and my soul constricted and my heart cracked. 

I would keep that feeling to myself.

To be continued...

"The measure of love is to love without measure"

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