Finding Love: A Journey
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2007 by the author)

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual activities between males.  If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or homosexual themes, leave this site now.

The characters in this story do not always practice safe sex.  Remember this is fiction.  You should always use a condom for the your protection and especially for the protection of the one you love.  The author recommends only safe sex.  Be wise and follow safe sex practices.

Several songs are quoted in this story. The copyrights to these are held by the artists or their publishers and not by the author. They are quoted as a tribute to the artist and the piece.

All persons in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

All other disclaimers apply. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

"Just love me," he said, "and everything will be fine."

"I have loved you since the day I met you, Bradley Mason, and I will love you forever, so don't you dare ask me to just love you because I always will. I will tell you I love you every day, probably every hour, so you'll know."

"Do you forgive me, Jake, for ever wondering about your love?"

"Yes!" was all I said.

We got out of the Mustang and went into the house. Sadie hugged both of us and herded us off to my suite for some rest. We didn't resist.

Chapter 17

Father Jim didn't have time to say hello to Sadie before she hurried Jacob and Brad out of the kitchen and to Jacob's suite of rooms. He stood near the door and glanced at Gary who was sitting at the counter with a half-spent beer in front of him. He smiled and Gary returned a smile that caught Jim off guard. His stomach jumped and he felt a surge of energy travel through his body.

"Hi, Father. It's been quite a day, hasn't it?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Please call me Jim. We're friends, so let's drop the father thing, okay?" he said as he moved to the stool next to where Gary was sitting.

Gary smiled as Jim sat heavily on the stool. His posture and demeanor spoke of his fatigue. Gary stood and began to massage Jim's neck and shoulders. Jim reached back and touched one of Gary's hands. As he did that, Gary could feel Jim relax a little.

"You're kind of tense, Jim. You've had a great deal to take care of today. I wouldn't wish to have to tell parents that their teenaged son was killed in an accident. I admire you," Gary confessed. He moved his hands down Jim's back knowing he was getting a little beyond what might be appropriate.

"Wow, Gary , that feels so good. Thanks," said Jim.

At that moment, Sadie returned to the kitchen. Gary made a split-second decision not to quickly remove his hands from the priest's back. Sadie smiled, and said,

"Father, I bet that feels so good. I know you must be tense and tired. Gary's little massage must make you feel relaxed."

"It does, Sadie, it makes me feel so calm and relaxed," Jim replied.

"The others are out near the pool. I'm going out to spend a little time with them. Are you two going to join us?" she asked.

"In a minute, Sadie. I have some things I need to discuss with Father Jim. We'll be along shortly," said Gary .

"Fine, no need to hurry," said Sadie as she left the kitchen for the outside.

Jim turned on the stool and faced Gary who was still standing. Before Jim could speak, Gary reached out and pushed an errant bit of hair out of the priest's eyes. The two men stared at each other.

"What's happening to us?" asked Jim.

"I'm not sure," said Gary .


"Jim, I'm . . .I'm gay," whispered Gary , "and I need to apologize to you for what just happened."


"Please, don't apologize. I could have stopped you, Gary, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted you to continue to touch me. It's been a long time since I have felt so good, so I didn't ask you to stop. I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, don't say anything. It's me. It's my fault. I found you attractive, intelligent, caring and I guess I fell for you, knowing that you were out of bounds. But I had to touch you just once to find out if it made any difference. Well, it did. It felt right. But I know you're not gay and I have offended you. I think I'll call a taxi and get out of here. Please just remember me as someone who cared and wanted to help. I . . ."

Jim pulled Gary to him and kissed him gently on the lips. Gary was trembling. Jim sat back and smiled. He looked deeply into Gary's eyes.

"When you touched me, as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the surge of excitement, energy, electricity; something extraordinary that went through me. I . . . don't leave, please. We need to talk more, Gary . And . . . and . . . I'm gay, too."

"I won't leave, and thank God you could tell me about your preference," Gary said quietly.

"We need to talk more, and . . ." murmured Jim

"Let's just allow things to take whatever course fate and God want them to go. Right now let's join everyone outside," Gary responded his voice shaking.

"Right!" said Jim.

The two men were now privy to private information about each other. Perhaps they were on the threshold of a new experience. The room was electric with passion.


I kissed Sadie and thanked her for giving us some time to relax and get our bearings. Brad had gone to the sofa and sat down. He put his head in his hands. Sadie saw this and told me to go to him, that he needed me now. I did as she said and she left us.

I sat down next to Brad and hugged him. He looked up at me, eyes glistening, smiled weakly, and put his head on my shoulder. I continued to embrace him, hoping that he might draw some energy from me.

"It's been a tough day, Sweetheart. A tough day," I said.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"If you hold me, I'll be fine."

I took his hand and led him to the bedroom, stopping at the door to lock it. When we got to the bed, I had him sit on the side of the bed after I drew back the bed covers. I pulled off his sandals. I unbuckled his belt and grabbed the waistband of his shorts and CK's. He raised his butt off the bed and I pulled them off. Then I tugged his T-shirt over his head. He sat there naked, not moving.

"Come on, Brad, just roll over so I can cover you," I said.

"No, I want you with me, please," he said.

"I'm getting out of my clothes," I said.

I began to remove my Vans and socks, dropped my shorts and underwear and pulled my T-shirt off over my head. I was naked standing there looking at Brad.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"You're a horny old hound dog," I said with a laugh.

"Come to bed with me, hold me, Jake, please."

I pushed Brad back onto the bed where he turned his head on the pillow. I closed the blinds and switched off the lights. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to Brad. I kissed the back of his neck, licked his ear and whispered,

"Now, get some sleep, even if it's just an hour or so."

Brad turned and faced me, leaning in, he kissed me. I could feel myself becoming excited, but I knew Brad needed some rest. I returned his kiss, but then told him,

"This is not the time to make love. Let's wait until tonight."

"Yeah, but damn it, I want you right now. Guess, I can wait, but it had better be great sex tonight."

"Our sex is always great, you football tosser," I said.






Diane and Douglas were surprised to see two unfamiliar young men coming out to poolside. Before they had time to wonder much, Tim introduced Todd and himself and told them that they were friends of Jacob and Brad.

"I guess I thought that maybe Sadie would tell you we were coming over. We want to make sure that our guys are okay," said Tim.

Todd jumped right in, adding,

"Jacob and Brad mean a great deal to us. We're really concerned about them. Can you tell us how they are? Please don't hide anything from us."

Diane laughed lightly, smiled at Douglas , and said,

"Nice to meet you Tim and Todd. We're the Neilsons, Jacob's parents. I'm Diane and this is my husband, Douglas."

The boys went forward and shook Doug's hand, and with a little embarrassment, also shook Diane's hand.

"So you two are friends of Jacob and Brad. I don't think that Jacob has ever mentioned you," said Douglas .

"We only met them on Saturday. They helped both of us with personal problems," Tim said.

"Well, actually I met Jacob on Friday in school. And I know Brad because he's been a classmate of mine at Palm High School since we were freshmen. I was having a really terrible day on Saturday, Jacob saw me and came to my aid immediately and Brad followed him. They really saved my life," Todd said with repressed sobs in his voice.

"My son helped you, Todd?"

"Yes, he, Brad, Sadie and Tim actually saved my life. I was rejected by my boyfriend who had taken to beating me, and I wanted to die. If it hadn't been for their kindness, I would probably be dead. But Mr. Neilson, it was Jacob who came to me to offer help before anyone else. He's my hero."

Doug Neilson looked at his wife, a telltale tear running down his cheek. She smiled and kissed him.

"We love Jacob a great deal and we know he's got a big heart, but it's moving to hear that he is so concerned about his friends. It makes me proud," Doug said.

Tim had moved closer to Todd and had put his arm around his partner. They gazed into each other's eyes and smiled.

"So, boys, I assume that you're boyfriends," said Diane.

"Yes, ma'am, we are. It's new to me, but Todd has been in a relationship before, so I will have to learn a few things to keep up with him," said Tim.

Todd began laughing, then Tim joined in, followed by Diane, and finally Doug was guffawing.

"What's so funny?" asked Sadie as she joined the group by the pool.

"Nothing much, Miss Sadie, except that Tim thinks he needs to take lessons from me to learn a few things about relationships. God, Tim, you don't need to take lessons from anyone. You're a great guy!" said Todd.

"That's not exactly what I meant, dufus," offered Tim.


"Oh." giggled Todd.

"Right!" said Tim.

Before the discussion got any further afield, Jim and Gary came out of the house and joined everyone. Tim thought what a hot couple the good priest and the cop made. He wondered if Jim knew about Gary's sexual preferences.
"This looks like a happy group," said Jim.

"I'm pleased to see that," added Gary .

As Father Jim moved to a chair at one of the tables, Gary followed him, staying close to him. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything.

"How were things at the hospital when you left, Father?" asked Diane.

"Things are improving. Chris is doing really well, and Peter has regained consciousness and is happy to be sharing a room with Chris. Don't ask me how, but Mr. Li made it happen. I've never heard of anything like that. It's what Peter wanted, and somehow, Mr. Li took care of it. The two guys are happy and are sleeping better which helps foster recovery and healing. After what I saw this morning, I am surprised and pleased at how well things are going."

"It was terrible," said Diane.

"What exactly happened?" asked Tim.

"Maybe we shouldn't be asking about that," said Todd.

"No, it's okay. It's not a secret. What happened here this morning should be something that everyone in this community should know about. It should never have happened. Now, because of bigotry, we have one young man dead, two high-schoolers injured, one seriously, and two college boys hurt, one of them seriously. And all because a fool didn't like gay people. It boggles the mind," said Gary .

Mr. Neilson began telling the whole story from the attempt to cause Brad to go off the road as he was coming to pick up Jacob for school. Then he explained all about what had happened later, and finally he let the boys know who was killed and who was injured. He asked if the school had made any announcements about the accident.

"There were no announcements at my school," said Tim, "as none of those involved were students there."

"All we were told was that there was an `incident' involving five students from our school. They didn't name anyone, but within an hour we all knew who wasn't in school. I tried to reach you guys here, but no one would answer the phones, so I decided our guys were somehow involved because neither of them would miss school unless it was very important," said Todd.

No one spoke for a moment until Tim added,

"Todd called me. He was really upset which caused me to get upset. I told him I would meet him at Palm High and we would decide what to do. We called Sadie and asked if we could come here to see Jacob and Brad. She said yes and invited us to stay for dinner. We haven't seen the buys yet' I guess they're still at the hospital."

"Jacob and Brad are upstairs resting. I'll get them in a bit, or I'll let you two go up and get them, but not right now. Why don't you two come in with me to help get some munchies ready. Father Jim and Gary can chat with Doug and Diane," said Sadie.

"Sure," said Tim as he took Todd's hand and followed Sadie into the kitchen.

"What do you think of those two?" asked Gary .

With a laugh, Diane said, "I think they're cute."

"Diane, I'm not sure the boys would like to be called cute," said Doug.

Father Jim and Gary were laughing, but Diane soon made it clear that she wouldn't back off.

"They are cute, and that's final!" said a giggling Diane.

"Guess that takes care of that," Doug said.

"I can't imagine what the reunion among those four will be like. Those young men are really very good friends. Tim and Todd are really concerned, and I don't think they'll accept that Jacob and Brad are okay until they see them. I think that's wonderful. That's what friendship is really all about. I respect them for that," said Father Jim.

"I agree," added Gary , "good friends always watch each other's backs. If you love someone, however much it might seem impossible, consistency in your affection for the other makes anything possible. There is no doubt in my mind that Jacob and Brad are such a couple, and even in the short time I have know Tim and Todd, I suspect they are the same. I believe that people do fall in love at first sight, don't you, Jim?"

Diane and Doug looked at each other and then glanced at Father Jim, noticing his flushed face before he spoke.

"Ah, yes, I believe that's possible. I mean people do fall in love at first sight. That doesn't mean it will develop into anything permanent. In today's world, enjoying the immediate is important, so I suspect that falling in love at first sight probably fits into that mode of thinking," Jim said.

`I thought you would agree with me, Jim," said Gary .

Diane poked Doug who still seemed a little removed from what was happening right in front of him. Diane was moved to comment, so she said,

"Father Jim, exactly what do you mean when you say that love at first sight fits in with the mode of thinking that suggest that enjoying the moment is what is important. Are you suggesting that what's important to many of the younger generation is immediate fulfillment of desire?"

Gary coughed, forcing a laugh down deeply into his guts. He looked at Jim, half in admiration and half in pure glee. Seeing Jim uncomfortable made Gary feel more secure. He knew that if they ever went to bed together that Jim would be in charge, so seeing him this way was an unfamiliar joy. He could feel himself falling harder for that guy sitting across from him. Everything about Jim appealed to him, and now knowing that he was gay gave renewed purpose to his desire to know Jim in a biblical sort of way.

"I guess," said Jim, "that I didn't meaning anything derogatory by what I said. I'm not accusing the present generation of anything except an interest in the moment. That isn't necessarily bad, but it can lead to a kind of narcissism that could effectively diminish the possibility of any real romance or coming together. Additionally . . ."

"Father Jim," interrupted Diane, "I think I understand what you meant. I appreciate your explanation, though."

Before anyone else could speak, John and Lorraine Li came out to the pool area with Sadie, Tim and Todd. The last three were carrying trays of `nibbles' as Sadie called them. There was a moment of sincere greetings and a warm exchange of hellos.

`Where is Chris' brother? We thought he would be here," said Mrs. Li.
"He's resting as is Jacob. It's been a very difficult day for those two young men. They were threatened, Brad was almost the victim of a crazed young man, and then they saw the whole lurid mess when Peter and Chris were injured. Additionally, they stayed at the hospital and made it their responsibility to visit and help make Peter and Chris feel better. Sadie made them go to Jacob's suite to get some rest," said Doug.

John Li put his arm around his wife and smiled at Doug. He escorted Lorraine to a chair near one of the tables and helped her to sit. Then he turned and addressed the group.

"There is no doubt that Brad and Jacob are remarkable young men. They are devoted to each other, and they are concerned about others, especially Peter and Chris. They certainly deserved a break and a little rest. Your decision, Sadie, was an excellent one. And please, Mr. and Mrs. Neilson, accept our sincere thanks for your kind invitation."

"How about something to nibble on while I get things ready for dinner? Doug and Diane will be happy to mix drinks for anyone who wants one, but that doesn't include Tim and Todd. In fact, why don't you two go and see if you can get Brad and Jacob to come down and join us," said Sadie.

"We'll get them to join you," said Todd.

"Even if we have to drag them here by their feet," offered Tim as he laughed. Todd joined him and they left immediately on their assigned task.

There was general laughter from the adults gathered by the pool. There was a sense of relief in the laughter, marking perhaps, the first time that day that any levity had been a part of their lives.


Brad rolled over and put his arm around me. I opened my eyes, but my eyelids wanted to close again. Brad was smiling. I kissed him gently. He smiled again.

"Am I amusing you?" I asked.

"No, you just make me happy, that's all," Brad said.

I rolled on top of Brad and kissed him hard on the mouth, working my tongue deeply into his mouth. He began to suck on my tongue, and as he did, both of us were soon sporting erections. Our naked bodies were soon sticky with perspiration and precum, and as Brad massaged my ass cheeks, I got hungrier for him in any way he wanted me.

His decision to roll me onto my back and to mount me sent shivers of pleasure through me. He was now the aggressor and I loved it. I wanted him to take me, to make me his in the most intimate of ways. But my level-headed lover had other plans evidenced as he licked his way down my body and soon had taken my cock into his mouth. I was moaning and so was he.

"Oh, God," I stuttered.

"Hmmm, Baby, you taste so great," he said as he released my penis from his mouth for a brief moment to speak.

I found myself stroking his head, holding it between my hands but not forcing him down on my penis. He had started to play with my balls and his middle finger occasionally moved to glance across my anus. I didn't think I could take much more before I would reach a heart-stopping climax. It was not to be. As I was about to reach that wonderful body-changing moment, someone was knocking quietly at the door. Brad pulled off my tool and glanced at me with disgust in his eyes.

"Who the fuck do you think that could be?" he asked in a whisper.

"I don't know. Hold on for a minute. Yes, who's there?"

"Just us," came Tim's answer.

"Who the crap is us?" asked an impatient Brad.

"Brad, it's Tim and Todd," I told him.

"Well, let the assholes in, but I don't intend to get dressed and I have an enormous hardon that I don't intend to hide," he said in a voice just shy of anger.

I jumped out of bed and went and unlocked the door. The two guys hurried in and I closed and locked the door. I was naked and sporting a hardon myself.

"Looks like we interrupted something," offered Tim.

"You sure as shitting did," said Brad from the bed.

I hurried over and climbed into bed with Brad. Tim and Todd stood there looking at us, their eyes almost constantly on our erections.

"Get the fuck naked, assholes, and get in bed and play," my horny lover said.

Instantly, Tim and Todd's clothes went flying, and they were naked, aroused and in bed with us. Tim moved quickly to me and began to kiss me passionately as Todd was working on Brad.

"Just a fuckin' minute," I protested, "what's going on here?"

"We want to make you calm and happy after this difficult day. This is just a little payment for all the great things you did for us. Just relax and enjoy,"

"No!" shouted Brad, "Please, Jacob is mine and I am his. We appreciate your wanting to make us feel good, but it's our job to pleasure each other. Why don't you two enjoy yourselves and let Jacob and me enjoy ourselves."


All action had stopped in the bed. We were all sitting up now and in the darkened room, we looked at each other trying to find a way to make the moment less biting. It was Brad who found the words to make everyone feel better. He sat closer to me and kissed me on the cheek, saying,

"Look you guys, Jacob and I love both of you. You're sexy and if we weren't totally committed to each other, then having sex with you would be exciting and filled with pleasure. I think that when I told you to get naked and get in bed and play, I sent the wrong message. I meant for you two to enjoy each other as Jake and I would. But I want you to know that I was honored by your desire to help make this day a little better for us. Thank you for that.

I reached over and took Tim's hand. He looked at me and I could see the shining of some tears in his eyes. I knew that I would have to tell him how I felt.

"Tim, if I didn't have Brad, then I would be fighting Todd for you. You're remarkable and desirable and a wonderful human being. I would jump your bones in a minute if I wasn't Brad's partner and boyfriend. I hope that there are no hard feelings."

Tim smiled and put his arm around Todd. Todd kissed Tim on the cheek and began stroking his back as Tim talked.

"There are no hard feelings. We both know how tight the relationship is between you two guys. In fact, that's one of the things we really admire about you. Todd and I are trying to get our relationship going and steady. We want people to think of us in the manner that they think of you. All I could think about in church on Sunday when Father Jim discussed love was you guys. Todd and I are going to get dressed and go downstairs. We'll tell them you are taking a shower."

"Whoa!" said Brad, "You don't have to leave. In fact we can take that shower together. No sex, but fun. Whatcha say?"

"I think it's a grand idea," I said.

"Okay with you, Todd?" Tim asked.

"Super, but it's okay if you touch me, Tim."


Four naked young men walked from the bedroom into the bathroom. Soon they were enjoying the shower. There was much groping, feeling, and rising erections. The only sex was the occasional kiss that passed between the two couples.


When we joined the adults by the pool, we were welcomed. John and Lorraine Li were especially warm in their greeting of Brad and me. I think they were still happy that Peter had regained consciousness while we were watching over him. I liked the Li's; I liked their reserved and quiet manner and the sincerity with which they conducted themselves.

In Lorriane Li I saw love and deep caring. In John Li I sensed a man of purpose and determination. Here was a man who had not been handed anything on a platter. He had worked diligently for all that he had accomplished. Except for his quiet demeanor, John Li reminded me of my father who did not display his emotions on his sleeve. These two men kept much of their love and concern deeply embedded in their being.

As Brad and I spoke with the Li's, Tim and Todd were busy chatting with Jim and Gary. Standing there watching the four of them together, I couldn't help but think what hot couples they were. Tim looked over at our little group and smiled at me as he gently rubbed his hand on Todd's cute ass. Young guys like us are always horny, and even at this moment, we were ready for action. To my surprise and pleasure, I felt Brad's hand on my butt. I looked at him as he smiled that naughty smile at me. My dad broke my reverie,

"Did you get some rest, Jacob?" he asked.

"Yeah, we did until someone sent the two terminators up to disturb us," I said with a giggle.

Everyone laughed, especially Tim and Todd. Sadie had a wide grin on her face. She looked directly at me and said,

"I sent what you referred to as "two terminators" to get you down here. I know you two, Jacob, and you need some strong help to get you to join the rest of the world. Now, no more complaining; in fact, I want all four of you to help me with dinner. Brad makes a fantastic salad, and you, Jacob do wonders with fresh vegetables. Tim and Todd, you two can help with getting the dishes out, setting the table, stuff like that. Why don't you folks have a pleasant, refreshing drink. Come on, guys."

"Before we go in, I want to apologize for my parents, especially my dad. It's embarrassing when he behaves badly and then my mom sort of has to pick up the pieces. I'm sorry that they won't be here to enjoy all the fine company. Again, please forgive them," said Brad.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it three times. He smiled.

As we were leaving, my dad said,

"Brad, you have nothing to be apologizing about. You can't be held responsible for your parent's bad behavior anymore than Jacob is responsible for my bad behavior until I got my senses in the right place thanks to Diane. None of us here hold you accountable for your dad's behavior. I think we all feel sorry for your mom."

"Agreed," said Diane.

The Li's acknowledged their agreement with a shake of their heads. Gary and Jim confirmed their acceptance of us with a huge hug for Brad, but a smaller, less firm one for me. After all, I thought, this has been a terrible day for my boyfriend so he certainly deserved the strong hug.

"Come on, guys, let's move. There's loads of things for us to do," said Tim.

"I'm coming; I'm coming," Brad protested.

I smiled, thinking of how that same expression would sound in our bed...


Sadie outdid herself with the dinner menu. She had roasted a beautiful standing rib, accompanied by creamy mashed potatoes, and asparagus with Hollandaise sauce. She had given Brad many beautiful fresh vegetables and greens for the salad, but the outstanding thing about the salad was the beautiful, red fleshy Florida tomatoes.

I watched Diane and I knew immediately that she liked what Sadie had prepared for dinner and the manner in which she had the boys set up the dining room. I knew that Diane was going to fit in nicely in our growing family. Brad sat next to me, then Tim and Todd. My dad sat at the head of the table and Diane was at the foot. Opposite us boys sat Father Jim, Gary, Mr. Li and Mrs Li. Sadie, of course, would not eat with us. She served us. The food looked appetizing. Sadie's famous quick dinner rolls made the dinner complete. Before anyone started eating, my dad asked Father Jim to say grace. Everyone was still standing and Sadie came into the dining room. Father Jim asked us to hold hands, which we did. The he said,

"Almighty Father, we prayerfully thank you for all that you have provided for us. From the bounty of the land, the air, and the sea, we take what we need for sustenance. But Heavenly Father, we are more thankful that You protected Chris and Peter from death. We also thank You for keeping Jacob and Brad safe. Remember all those injured and the young man who died. Welcome him, we beg, into the glory of Your home, as we all forgive him, as we know you do, too, for his misguided behavior today. In Your kindness and love, send grace to Herman's family helping them to deal with this great tragedy. We ask all the things through your son, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You now and forever. Amen."


"That was beautiful, Father Jim. Just beautiful," said Diane.

"Everyone, let's sit," said my dad.

I had noticed as Father Jim said grace that Brad had squeezed my hand very tightly when Jim had mentioned that we wanted God to accept Shanks into heaven. I knew from the intensity of Brad's crushing grasp of my hand and the redness of his face that he was not in total agreement. I wondered about it, too, but I remembered something my mom had told me when I was a little guy. She told me, `Jacob, if you cannot forgive those who wrong you, don't expect anyone to forgive you, not even Jesus.' At this moment that advice held me in good stead. I would not be happier if I did not forgive Shanks. Brad would have to learn to forgive for his own happiness.

There was much food, but the four of us left nothing. Brad was happier as the meal continued. He kept smiling at me, and more than once his hand found its way to my thigh and once or twice to my crotch. I almost gasped aloud when he stroked me. He stared ahead, speaking with Gary about his Mustang and how he had spend days looking for it. Tim and Todd were engaged with the Li's and each other. My dad was speaking with me and Father Jim. Diane and Mrs. Li were involved in an ongoing discussion of something important to both of them.

Sadie made a couple of trips from the kitchen to check on us and the serving dishes, leaving with near empty ones and returning with refilled bowls. and platters. I wondered if Brad might explode because he ate more than twice what I did. But it dawned on me that he was a football player where some weight would be advantageous. For me, keeping my body in shape and at a controlled weight would give me an advantage in the pool. Tim ate much like I did and Todd was a big eater like Brad.

I also noted that Gary and Father Jim kept looking at each other, and even though I had very limited experience, I began to think that something was going on between the two of them. Once I noticed that Gary's arm nearest Jim had been dropped to his side. I imagined that his hand was touching Jim. I felt my penis twitch, feeling embarrassed with myself for having these thoughts.

" . . . don't you think, Jacob?" asked Brad.

I looked at him with what I knew must have been a blank stare. I gave him a silly little smile. He had his hand on my thigh and when he tapped it lightly three times, I relaxed.

"Sorry, Sweetheart," I told him, "I didn't hear what you asked. I knew my face had reddened and I knew Brad knew I was covering up something.

Smiling that silly-ass grin of his, Brad told me,

"I said that we should go back to the hospital to see Chris and Peter before it got too late, saying it was a good idea don't you think, Jacob? You were somewhere else."

Before I could answer, Sadie appeared in the doorway with a lovely wedding cake, nothing extravagant, but lovely nonetheless. Everyone applauded, and my dad rose from his chair and went to Diane at the other end of the table. Sadie placed the cake in front of Diane who by this time was standing with my father. Diane and my dad, took the large silver knife and cut into the cake, taking out a small piece to feed to each other.

Sadie didn't leave the dining room, but started taking pictures with a digital camera. They carefully gave each other a small bite, but none of the squashing it into each other's faces. When they kissed, the room erupted into whistles, cat calls, and applause. Father Jim struck his water glass with a spoon. I didn't know the significance of it until Diane and my father kissed again. Then there were numerous clanging of spoons against glasses.

Sadie had been cutting the cake into serving pieces and I got up and started to serve them to our guests. Brad had joined me and soon everyone had been served. Sadie had pulled a chair up next to mine and enjoyed the cake with all of us. My dad stood and started to speak,

"This has been an extraordinary night in Diane's and my life. Sadie, thank you for your wonderful dinner and for the surprise of the cake. It is so typical of your kindness. Father Jim, Gary , John and Lorraine , thank you for accepting our invitation to dinner. Jacob, Brad, Tim, and Todd, thank you for eating us out of house and home."

Brad snorted, Tim and Todd laughed loudly, and I just sat there unsure of how to respond. Brad, sensing my uneasiness, leaned over to me and kissed my on the lips. I was expecting gasps, but instead there was applause. Tim and Todd did some clanging of spoon against glass. One more quick kiss, laughter, and joy in the moment.

`Let's all get ready and go to the hospital to say good night to Chris and Peter. By the way, John and Lorraine , Diane, Sadie and I have talked and we want you to know that we want Peter and Chris to come here to recuperate. We have loads of space and Sadie will get some extra help if it's needed. We want them to be here with us like a family. And you two, Tim and Todd, we hope you think of this as a safe haven if you need it, but also that it is always your home, too," said my father.

I started jumping up and down, gasping and almost crying.

"What about Brad? What about Brad?" I yelled.

Laughing, my dad simply said,

"Jacob, Brad already lives here in your suite. Relax, he's like another son to Diane and me and Sadie has already adopted him. Relax, son."

I grabbed a smiling Brad and pulled him into my tight embrace. He gently kissed away my few tears, and together, and laughing, we followed Tim and Todd, and left the others. We would return to the hospital.


As we drove to the hospital in the Mustang, the car became strangely quiet. After a bit, I finally asked,

"Why is it so quiet in here?"

"I'm driving and the two lovers in the back seat are sucking face."

"Hmmmm!" came the reply from the back seat.

"They're animals, Brad, just horny animals. No sense of decorum!" I said.

Brad guffawed and I giggled. Loud snorts came from Tim and Todd, followed by some coughing.

"I want to suck face, too, Brad," I said.

Brad said, "I want to suck your cock, Baby."

"Heard that," offered Tim.

"That's what I want to do to Tim," added Todd.


"Can you imagine what your house is going to turn into with all these horny guys there? With us, Tim, Todd, and Chris and Peter, it could turn into a gay dormitory," Brad said.

"Not with Sadie as house mother. She'll keep us all in line," I said.

"Did you guys notice anything going on between Father Jim and Gary?" asked Tim.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Come on, Jacob, you can't be that naive," said Todd.

Brad laughed and added,

"You'd be surprised, guys. Jacob is really innocent."

"You mean he's a virgin?" asked Todd.

"Sort of," said Brad.

"Sort of, pah-leeze! It can't be sort of. Either you are or your aren't," said Tim.

"You explain, Jake," ordered Brad.

"Will not!" I said.

"Please," Brad begged.

"Come on, Jacob, I want to understand what a sort-of virgin is," laughed Todd.

"It's not funny, you asshole," I replied. Brad patted my leg and smiled that smile at me.

"It's because I had never been with a guy or a girl except when I was abused by an older guy when I was in eighth grade."

"Forgive us pushing you for an answer. That must have been terrible and something that is difficult to forget," said Tim.

"Jeez! I'm really sorry," said Todd.

"It's okay. But now, well being with Brad . . ."

"Enuf, already, Baby. Enuf!" laughed Brad.

"We're here. Come on. They may not let us all in at one time, but if we're clever and we are, we'll figure a way to take care of that. Let's go," I said.

Everyone got out of the Mustang and headed to the main entrance of the hospital. The day was waning. The western sky was pink with color. Tomorrow would be beautiful and we would have to deal with school. I knew it might be difficult, but together, side by side, Brad and I would make it. The bright lights of the hospital lounge brought me back to the moment.

While we were walking to the door, Brad told Tim and Todd, to wait until we distracted the receptionist and to hurry to the elevator, take it to the sixth floor and wait for us.

The receptionist, a Mrs. Magenson, was pleasant and helpful. She checked the visitor's list for Rm. 669 and found our names there. She handed each of us a visitor's pass and gave us instructions on how to get to the room.

After thanking her, we hurried to the elevator and soon were at the sixth floor. Todd and Tim were waiting for us.

"What do we do about the passes? We only have two," I asked.

"Look," said Brad, "here's what we do. If anyone asks, you and I will flash our passes and the four of us will move together. I doubt anyone will stop us anyway. We know where we're going, so we don't have to stop at the desk. If the nurse on duty looks our way, just wave and continue to 669.

"It's an interesting room number for two gay guys. Do you think they knew that when they assigned the guys to that room?" asked Tim.

"I doubt it, Tim. More than likely it's just a coincidence. It is a little funny, though," Brad said.

"Here we are, "I said.

"Let's be quiet because they may be sleeping." Brad advised.

"You stay with me, Tim. Hospitals give me the jitters," said Todd.

I slowly opened the door to find both guys sitting up in bed watching TV. If big smiles were warm greetings then we were heartily welcomed.

"Bro, good to see ya. I need a sweet hug, Brad. Com'ere.

Brad crossed the floor and hugged his brother solidly and with great affection.

Peter looked directly at me and asked,

"So, Jacob, am I day-old fish? I need some sugar, too."

I crossed to Peter and hugged him tightly. He surprised me when he kissed me on the lips. He smiled at me and then with a laugh said,

"Wow! Brad, this guy of yours is a sweet kisser. Yummy!"

"You just lay off him or I'll sic Tim and Todd onto Chris, and then you'll be sorry."

Chris extended his hand, saying as he did so,

"You must be Tim and Todd. My bad-mannered bro didn't introduce you."

As they shook hands with Chris, Brad said, "I didn't take time to introduce them `cause your horny lover was putting the make on my boyfriend."

"Peter," asked Chris, "are you being naughty again?"

"No, Chris, I'm just horny and Jacob is a cutie," said Peter.


Tim and Todd still stood near Chris' bed. Tim took Chris into his arms and planted a long tongue-filled kiss on him. They came up for breath and as soon as they did, Todd took over.

"Fucking wow!" said Chris, "now I've got a raging hardon."

Peter snorted, and the rest of us laughed loudly. All this activity brought a nurse into the room.

"Is everything okay in here?" she asked.

"We're fine, just Chris' brother visiting. Thanks," said Peter.

The nurse looked at the four of us, scurtinizing us as if we were a package of meat in the supermarket.

"There really shouldn't be four visitors at a time. It's highly irregular," the nurse said.

"It's okay, nurse, we're all leaving shortly. We have school tomorrow and homework yet to do tonight. We just wanted to check on the two patients to make sure they were okay."

"Fine, but not too long," she said.

After some silly young-man chat, we hugged our patients and hurriedly left. We had to drop off Tim and Todd, get home, checkout homework, and go to bed. In bed, it was my fondest wish that we would make love. I knew that was also foremost on Brad's mind.

Ah, the sweet music of the night!


After the boys left, the adults all adjourned to the living room for coffee. The Lis were getting itchy to return to their son, so Diane and Doug didn't hold them for long. They insisted that the Lis spend the night here with them, and after some preliminary refusals, Lorraine and John happily accepted their invitation. Diane observed to herself that her husband, Doug, had a way of selling things to people. This was no exception.

Father Jim and Gary sat together on one of the sofas. They were closer together than one might assume a priest and a cop would sit, but it passed without comment. Sadie finally excused herself so that she could clean up the kitchen. Diane was not about to let her do that by herself, so she also left.
The Li(')s had left a few minutes earlier.

In the kitchen, Diane found Sadie already industriously picking up and cleaning the kitchen.

"Mrs. Neilson, you really don't need to help me. Thanks, though."

"Actually, Sadie, I want to talk with you." Diane said. "There are some things I would like to know, if you don't mind."

Sadie looked perplexed, but the perplexity didn't show when she answered,

"Anything at all, Mrs. Neilson."

"First of all, Sadie, I want you to call me Diane."

"'k, Diane."

"I want you to continue to run the house just as you always have. I only will get involved if we are entertaining clients or something like that. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all, Diane."

"This is a little touchy. I assume that you have been letting Jacob and Brad sleep together?"

"Yes, I have."

"We will continue to do that, but we mustn't make much of it. Doug is accepting of his son's sexual preferences, but it wouldn't be wise to rub his nose in it. We need to make that clear to the boys, too. Do you find that a problem?"

"Yes, maam, I do."

"How so?"

"I believe that Mr. Neilson needs to know what's going on in his home. If he doesn't approve, then we will have to make other arrangements. Those two boys are madly in love with each other and they need some personal and intimate time together and it should be here in their home rather than in the car on some back road or in some parking lot. I can't be part of hiding the truth of their relationship from Mr. Neilson. I'm very sorry if that upsets you, Diane, but I can only speak the truth to you."

There were a few beats of silence in the kitchen, with the only sound being the clink of china being stored away. Diane studied Sadie again, seeing in her so much of her now dead mother. She walked over to Sadie and put her arm around her waist.

"As usual, Sadie, you're right. Doug needs to know. I will tell him and try to explain the alternatives. He loves Jacob so much and he respects the maturity of Brad, so I think he will acquiesce. If he doesn't then I will ask him how he would feel if I had to sleep in a separate room."

Giggling, Sadie said, "You wouldn't?"

"Oh, but I would."

<Quiet laughter.>

The two ladies of the Neilson household were establishing a strong bond.

"One other thing," Diane said.


"Is the good priest gay?"

"I don't know, but he and Gary seem smitten with each other. I hope they find some happiness," Sadie said.

"Yes, finding that elusive happiness is one of the major journeys of life," said a circumspect Diane.

"My views on some things have changed throughout the years. If you don't change, you might just as well be dead.

Very quietly Diane said,

"You are an open-minded person, Sadie. Your support for the boys mystifies me. Frankly I would have thought you might be less accepting of the gay life style."

Sadie looked carefully at Diane, trying as she did, to ascertain if the question was an honest inquiry, or if Diane might be trying to determine a secret she might have. It was, perhaps, a response to a long-held secret that she had never shared with anyone.

"I have my reasons for being supportive, Diane," she said.

"Can you share it with me?"

"Not now," she replied.

"I understand, Sadie. We're going to be here together for some time. Secrets might not be the best for any of us living in this house."

Sadie sat heavily on a stool, wringing her hands together. She knew that she couldn't tell the story more than once or her heart would shatter. She took Diane's hand into hers and told her,

"Diane, I think the world of you, but if I tell my story, I can only do it once and I think Doug, Jacob and Brad should hear it, too. I will tell you all when we can arrange for a family meeting. Is that okay?"

"Of course, and Sadie, there is no need to tell anyone, including me your private business."

"I know that, Diane, but the time is right. My secret has been a loadstone on my life. I need to be freed."

"When the boys get home, maybe we can talk then, or if it is better for you, Sadie, later when you want to talk. I'll leave it up to you," Diane said.

"Let's leave it at that," she answered.


Brad drove first to Tim's home since it was further from my home than Todd's. The ride was quiet, filled only with the sounds of our two lovers making the best of the time they had. Brad and I didn't speak either as we were both lost in our thoughts about the day and the consequences of our relationship. It was difficult not to feel guilty and I could only imagine how Brad must feel as his brother Chris had been injured as was his lover, Peter.

We pulled up in front of Tim's house. No one moved in the back seat.

"Tim, we're at your house," I said.

No response.

"Come on, Tim, get your ass moving. We still have to get Todd home and then do some homework, get some sleep, and be ready for school tomorrow," Brad almost yelled.

"Sorry, just wanted to say good night properly to Todd. It just takes a moment or so," said Tim.

"Yeah, yeah, we know," I told him.

"He's so good at saying good night. He's fuckin' hot, too," said Todd.

"Right!" exclaimed Brad.

"I'm outa here," said Tim as he slipped out of the Mustang, "good night and thanks for everything. See you soon I hope."

Tim hurried up the walkway to the house and soon disappeared from our sight. Brad drove away toward Todd's home.

"I'm so lucky, guys. Tim is such a wonderful guy, gentle, concerned and a great lover. I love him a lot."

"So we noticed," said Brad with a snicker.

"No, not just sex. That's good, but I love HIM, all of him," said Todd.

"You're lucky, Todd, because Tim is one in a million. And if you haven't noticed or if he hasn't told you, he hopelessly in love with you."

"You think?" Todd said.

"I'm certain," I said.

"You guys have a pleasant night. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Are you going to eat with us at the same table as before?" asked Todd.

"Sure as shit," said Brad.

"Great. Goodnight, guys. You know I love you two, even if you are a little odd," Todd said with a laugh as he slipped out of the Mustang and ran up the walkway to the front door of the house.

"That little shit!" I said.

"Let's not forget and kick his ass tomorrow at school," said Brad, laughing as he drove the Mustang away from the curb and down the highway to home. I waited quietly for a few minutes. Then I said,

"You weren't happy with Father Jim tonight when he asked God to take Shanks into heaven, were you?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"Tough. You won't really be happy until you can forgive Shanks for what he did."

"Who made you Mr. super psychiatrist?. You don't know shit about forgiving, so don't shit with me."

"Fine, stew in your own juice. I won't bring it up again."


My heart was beating rapidly because I was really pissed at Brad. In fact, I want to punch him, just to get his full attention. I wasn't sure what to do or say, but I finally asked,

"Are you spending the night at my house or are you going home. Your mom could probably use your help."

"You don't sound as if you want me there," he said glumly.


"Well, do you want me with you or not?" Brad asked.

"What do you think, Brad? Why wouldn't I want you with me? For Chrissake, I love you, asshole."

"I was a big asshole, Baby. I shouldn't have taken it out on you because I can't bring myself to forgive and forget. I hated Shanks so much, and now I'm supposed to forgive him for injuring two innocent people, not to mention his two buddies. How can I forget that? It's too much too ask."

"No it isn't, Sweetheart. You have to forgive or your whole being with be poisoned. Hate will turn you into a person who will be like Shanks. I couldn't love you if that was the person you became. I want the Brad that I fell hopelessly in love with in the stupid boys' room at Palm High School on Friday. I want him back, Brad. I need him!"

"How is it that you can forgive him, Baby? How?"

"I remembered something my mother told me when I was just a young boy."

"What did she tell you?"

I put my hand on Brad's thigh and squeezed it. She told me that "if you cannot forgive those who wrong you, don't expect anyone to forgive you, not even Jesus."


"Your mother was a wise woman, Jake. And you are a wise and wonderful guy who I love very much. Please forgive me for being such a jerk. I'm so sorry. May I please spend the night with you?"

"If you didn't want to stay with me tonight, I would be upset. No, I would be pissed. I'd probably punch you in the balls just to make it clear to you that I was unhappy."

Brad pulled the Mustang into the parking lot near Home Depot. He pulled into a parking spot well away from the store. He shut off the engine, removed his seatbelt, and turned and looked at me. His beautiful green eyes were a little wet, but I didn't notice until moments later that he was shaking.

"Hon, are you okay. You're shaking and near tears. Did I say something that would upset you that much?" I asked.

"No, no, Jake. I'm learning so much from you. You had already forgiven me for being such a jerk. Baby, I'm gonna work on it. I need to forgive Shanks; I know I have to do it for all the reasons you gave. And by the way, you are a hot, sexy psychiatrist and I want to share your couch. Let's get back to the house so that we can get to bed. I owe you some loving, and I want to deliver on my promise to finish what I started earlier."

I grabbed Brad and pulled him on top of me. One of his legs was caught somehow in the steering wheel, but he didn't care and neither did I. We were kissing madly and our hands were exploring, our crotches rubbing against each other. We were both erect. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Get me home, Brad. Get me home! Now!" I insisted.

"Your wish is my command, my lover."

After untangling ourselves, Brad started the Mustang and we roared away toward our own version of paradise.


To be continued...

"The measure of love is to love without measure"

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