Finding Love: A Journey
By: Scotty
(Copyright 2007 by the author)

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual activities between males.  If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or homosexual themes, leave this site now.

The characters in this story do not always practice safe sex.  Remember this is fiction.  You should always use a condom for the your protection and especially for the protection of the one you love.  The author recommends only safe sex.  Be wise and follow safe sex practices.

Several songs are quoted in this story. The copyrights to these are held by the artists or their publishers and not by the author. They are quoted as a tribute to the artist and the piece.

All persons in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

All other disclaimers apply. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

Chapter 4

The ride from the mall theater to my house seemed to take an eternity to accomplish.  We didn't say much, just looked at each other occasionally and smiled.  I had my hand on Brad's knee, and, other than squeezing it once in a while, I wasn't touching him in any other way.  He abruptly asked,

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Brad."

"I love you, Jake."

"I know."

"God, ya so wonderful."

"Brad, I love you, too.:


"You okay?"

"Yes, why shouldn't I be okay?"

"Well, I got a little carried away in the theater.  I'm really sorry about that.  I don't usually behave that way.  Usually I can control my desire, but with you, I just lost it all."

"I'm flattered."


"Because, well, I stimulated you."

"Fuck.  I guess you did stimulate me.  I almost shot my load."



"So did I."


We arrived home to a darkened house.  The outside safety lights were on, but there was no evidence that anyone was home.  Sadie must have gone to bed.  I used the remote to open the gate and then to close it after we had driven through.  I opened the bay where Brad could park his Mustang.  We drove in and then I closed the bay door.  We got out of the car.  I waited a moment for Brad to join me.  When he got close to me, he stopped, and asked,

"Before we go in the house, Jake.  Is it all right if I hug you and maybe kiss you?"

"Hmm, a hug and a kiss.  Only one?  I guess so." 

He laughed as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me roughly on the mouth.  I gasped.

"What I really want is to hold you and kiss you all night."

I took his hand and led him into the house.  We stopped while I set the alarm.  The system gave us plenty of time to get to the suite and guest rooms.  I went into the bedroom of my suite, hoping Brad would follow me.  But instead, he kissed me gently, and then turning said,

"I'll go to my room now.  Sleep well, Jake," and he left.

I fell onto the bed, mortified and disappointed that Brad had ignored all my hints.  I went to the full length mirror and looked at myself.  I didn't look that bad.  He had wanted me so much at the movies.  Now, God, I felt so abandoned.  I ripped back the sheet and blanket as Sadie had removed the comforter and stuff.  I quickly stripped and threw my clothes into a nearby chair.

I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth.  I looked at the Jacuzzi, thinking of what might have been.  I wiped away the tears that were overflowing my eyes and running down my face.  Maybe this was God's way of punishing me for not telling Brad the whole truth about myself.

He wasn't aware of my real age, and I had told him I couldn't get a car until October on my birthday, and that was true and untrue.  I was going to be eighteen in October.  I had been put in pre-first grade, so I was a year older than my classmates.  And I didn't have a car because my Dad didn't want me to have one until I turned eighteen, which was in October.  Had I lied to Brad?  I didn't think I had.  Tomorrow I would tell him the whole truth about me and my family.  I switched off the bathroom light, walked to the bed in my boxers and crawled into bed.  Tears were running down wetting my pillow.

`Ha,' I thought, `things didn't turn out the way I wanted, the way I anticipated.  Somehow, without knowing how or when, I must have scared Brad away.'  I turned on my side, facing away from the door, and after a few more tears, I began to fall asleep.

Did I hear the door being locked?  No.  It was my imagination, expectation and desire.  I felt a presence near me and I wanted to call out to Brad, when I felt an almost naked body slide into bed and spoon against me.  It was Brad.  Thank you God.  Thank you.

He nuzzled my neck and kissed me gently on my naked back.   I was already getting hard.  I wanted him to hold me so badly.  He put his left arm around me, and slowly began to rub his hand over my crotch.

"Will you forgive me, Jake, for this little naughty.  I should've jumped your bones right here.  But then the devil got the best of me and told me to leave you and go to my room."

 I said nothing.  Brad continued,

"I had to go mess up the bed.  What would Sadie think if the bed hadn't been disturbed?" 

I started to giggle.

"She would have thought you were in here with me and that we were making love all night.  Then she would have told my dad you seduced me, made me gay, and left after breakfast." 

Brad was laughing into my back, and he began kissing my neck and back.  It was driving me crazy.  But it was a wonderful crazy.

"Did you brush your teeth?" I asked him.

"Of course I did, why?"

" `cause I want to face you, but if you have halitosis-grossiosis, I don't have a gas mask; however, if you brushed, then I'll turn around and face you."

"Jake, did I have bad breath in the theater?  Jeez, I feel like a cheap whore.  Ya know, `get `em up, get `em off, and get `em out.'"

I flipped over and faced him.  I kissed him lightly on the lips, and when I did, I felt his hard penis jump.  I whispered to him,

"No, you're perfect, Brad.  I like looking at you in this low light in our bed."

"Our bed?  Don't you mean yur bed?"

"It's not my bed when we're in it together.  Then it's our bed."


"So whatcha wanna do now?"  I asked.

"I want you to relax.  Just lie there on your back, spread your legs a little; yeah, that's perfect and leave the rest up to me."


"I lied to you, Brad." 

He was now on his knees next to me, his hands on my chest, slowly massaging me. 

"How did ya lie to me?  About ya age?  I already knew that."

"How?"  He leaned down and kissed me, his nearly hard prick rubbing against my nipple and chest.

"I have friends.  Actually, Vicki Graham, who works in the guidance office, looked you up for me.  I asked her to do it as a favor.  She did it just after lunch and I got the info from her before gym class.  Don't blame her, Jake, please.  I don't want to get her into trouble."

"Why did you ask her to do that?"

"Because I was crazy over you and I wanted to know everything I could about you.  I'm sorry."

"What else did you find out about me?  Am I a felon, a sex predator?" 

I got out of the bed and walked across the room.  I was very angry.

"No, I didn't find out anything terrible about you.  God, Jake, I love you and I wanted to be sure I did all the right things so that I wouldn't lose you.  See, I told you I always fuck up everything.  I'll get out of here and let you alone.  I apologize for what I did.  I'll leave early in the morning so that you don't have to deal with me." 

Brad got to the bedroom door, but it wouldn't open.  He then remembered that he had locked it and fumbled to get it unlocked.

"Come're." I demanded.

"What?" asked Brad.

"I want you over here by me so that I can mete out your punishment.  Move it!"

 I didn't giggle and my voice sounded raspy and mean.

"Look, Jake, I screwed up badly.  I've hurt your feelings, and I don't see any point in carrying on this friendship.  I ruined it, so just allow me to leave and you go on living your life.  It's best that way," a dejected and unhappy Brad said.

"You're not leaving this fuckin' room until I punish you and tell you just what I think about you.  Then if you still want to leave, then fine.  Now come over here."

Brad walked over to me and stood before me like a naughty boy.  I didn't know how much longer I could carry out this act.  But I wanted to try.  He made me wait in bed for him while he played his little game.  Now it was my turn.  I put one hand on his shoulder and with the other I gently rubbed his face, pulling a finger across his lips.  I glanced at his cock, which had been soft after our little disagreement about the information, but now I could see it twitching.

He looked at me with wonderment, tears shining in his beautiful eyes.  I leaned in and kissed him so gently that it almost wasn't a kiss, but a butterfly wing dusting them.  He quivered, but said nothing.  I leaned down and put my lips around one of his nipples and licked it, sucked on it and bit it tenderly.  It was now hard. Brad gasped.

Then I pulled him to me and began to rub my crotch against his while I kissed him with passion.  Both of us were hard and we could easily feel each other through the fabric of our boxers.  I reached down and rubbed his hard penis for a moment.  I turned away from him and walked across the room, saying as I did,

"There, you have received your punishment.  You can do what you wish.  If you want to leave early tomorrow morning, please be quiet.  I'm going to our bed.  Good night."

Walking across the room, I wanted so much to laugh, but I wouldn't let myself.  I climbed into bed and pulled the sheet and blanket up around my neck.

Brad stood across the room,  erect and almost naked.


Then he exploded,

"You little shit!" 

He bounded across the room and dove onto the bed, covering me with his body.  He was frantic as he kissed me.  Pulling back the sheet and blanket, he reached between my legs and almost instantly he was rubbing my erect cock.   I thought I might cum and told him so.  He pulled away and moved up beside me.  We looked into each other's eyes, reading the love that was there.

"So, you forgive me for being such an asshole?" Brad asked.

"Temporarily anyway.  I can't stay angry with you, dufus, I love you.  Brad, can we just lie here in each other's arms for a while.  I just want you close.  I want to feel your body.  I want to breathe in your scent.  I want to be sure you're real."

"I like the sound of that, Jake." 

He took me into his arms and we kissed.  I rested my head on his shoulder, and shortly we were sleeping.


Brad awoke and looked at the clock in the dim light of the bedroom.  It read 2:30.  He turned and looked at his lover.  Jake was lying on his back, breathing softly, his long eyelashes almost flickering.  Brad took a deep breath and thought, `He's so beautiful.  How could I be so lucky, how did such a wonderful thing happen to me?'

Brad moved closer to Jake.  He carefully lowered his head and kissed his lover gently on his lips.  He was going to move away, but suddenly Jake wrapped him in his arms and pulled him down onto his body, their lips meeting in a powerful kiss.  It was a long kiss, and when it ended, Brad began to kiss Jake's face and neck,  Jake began to moan.


"Are we really awake, or am I having a wonderful dream?" I asked as I ran my hands up and down Brad's muscular back. 

Brad kissed me again, gently, telling me,

"We're awake, Baby.  God, I'm so horny."

"I would never have guessed, not with that hard tool pushing into my groin." I said with a laugh.  Brad joined me in the laughter,

"You should talk, woodsman, I have your tree rubbing against my stomach.  And I love it."

"Brad, sweetheart, let's remove our boxers, move the covers away and then, please cover me with your naked body.  I want to feel all of you.  May I touch you when I feel like it?" 

Brad pulled away the covers, removed my boxers and then his, and laid atop of me.  I was groaning!

"If you don't touch me anywhere you want, anytime you want, I am gonna be pissed," said Brad between kisses and love bites.

I surprised Brad by rolling him on his back and mounting him.  I was crazy with lust and I licked and kissed Brad's body, not neglecting any part of him.  Brad was moaning,

"Oh, Baby, ohhhhh, that feels so good."

For an answer I rolled to his side and took Brad's penis into my hand and gently squeezed it.  Then I began a slow and deliberate masturbation.

"Oh, my God, Jake.  Oh, oh, oh, stop or I'll cum," groaned Brad.

Then Brad took my hard cock, a magnificent piece of human anatomy, into his warm hand.  He moved his hand slowly up and down on my prick.  Then with great tenderness he moved his hand faster over the shaft and finally taking my testicles into his other hand rolling them between his fingers.  Then he spoke

"We both have to learn how to make love in other ways, sweetheart.  It will take lots of practice.  Lots.  You'll have to spend many nights and days and mornings with me.  I want to learn other things.  I guess I'm a dirty minded guy, but I just want all of you."

"Making love to you is the only thing I've ever wanted to do that demands practice." 

Brad paused, and then continued, 

"Jake, I want you to cum."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."
"I want you to cum with me, Brad."

"Of course, Baby."

Then we set about the task and very soon we were close when Brad pulled his hand off my dick and said,

"Slow down a little, Jake.  Let's make it last as long as possible."

"Brad, I won't be able to last too much longer.  I have never been so sexually excited and I want to cum, Brad.  Please let me cum."

"No, not yet.  Hold back, it will be wonderful when we do cum."

"I don't think I can.  I don't want to.  Please, Brad, please"

As an answer, Brad took me back into his hand and began to do all those wonderful things again.  I was moaning as I enjoyed Brad masturbating me.  It seemed to me that all my being, all my senses were suddenly centered in my balls and cock, and as my body stiffened and my balls pulled up against my body, I screamed, and exploded, my white cum flying and hitting my face and neck and then my chest.

Brad had reached the pinnacle too, and as he watched my climax, he unloaded a monumental ejaculation of his seminal fluid.  Brad was moaning  loudly, but I didn't care, I was too aroused, too sensitized with emotions I had never felt before.

Finally our bodies began to relax and our breathing started to return to normal.  Our bodies gleamed with perspiration and accumulated body fluid.  I was  lying  beside my boyfriend.  We began kissing, gently at first and then it became more passionate.  We held each other tightly, not speaking, just luxuriating in our first serious lovemaking.


Sunlight was streaming into the room when I woke up.  I opened my eyes slowly, looking to my left where Brad lay, still asleep.  I thought to myself, `Can this be true?  Is it really Brad, this beautiful boy-man?  How could it be? Brad could have any girl or guy he wanted.  Why would he want me?'  I reached over and gently stroked his naked chest.

Brad stirred, but didn't awaken.  I moved to him and bending my head down, licked his left nipple.  A low groan escaped his lips.  In a flash, he reached out and pulled me to him, kissing me and then whispering to me,

"Jake, I had such wonderful dreams.  They were all about you and me, and making love.  I'm so hard right now I could hit a home run."

We were both laughing,

"Let me see if your bat is big enough for me?  I like a heavy bat, and if I could get away with it, a very long one."

"Hmm, dirty Little Leaguer, you."

"I hope."

"So do I."

"Brad, I want to tell you something, but I'm not sure how to say it."

"You can tell me anything, Baby."


I finally whispered,

"I want you in me."

"What did you say?"

I lay on my back and pulled Brad on top of me.  I kissed him softly and again whispered,

"I want you in me."

Brad returned my gentle kiss with his own, but he remained silent.  As I grew uneasy, Brad rolled off me.  He ended up lying beside me.  I kept Brad's hand in mine, as we both laid on our backs looking at the ceiling.
We both had emotions and thoughts swirling about in our minds. We were trying to create a comment that would continue our love and trying to avoid saying the wrong thing.  The silence became deafening.

Brad took his hand away from mine and rolled to his side facing me.  He began to draw little circles around his my nipple.  I gasped, but said nothing.  Then Brad kissed the same nipple, gently sucked on it and then drew away.  My gigantic sigh cut deeply into Brad's psyche.

Brad wanted to tell me a screaming "yes", that he also wanted the same thing from me.  But he surmised that having anal sex might be fraught with danger.  It could be viewed by either of us, or both of us, as a culmination of our relationship.  It might convey the idea that there now there was nothing more to explore, to discover.  And there was the whole problem of STD's.  Since neither of us had been with any guy in an intimate way, it should not be a problem.  But it was a worry.  We should go to the free clinic and get tested.  That was a must do.

Brad could feel his emotions building to the breaking point, his body urging him to say `yes', to do the dirty, and then to worry about it.  But his heart had another message:  `If you love him, go slowly, take your time.  When you finally do come together in that ultimate coupling, it will be filled with love and caring, not just lust'. 

As usual, Brad knew that his heart was correct.  We would have to wait.  I had turned onto my side and our heads were on the same pillow, our lips only a fraction of an inch apart.  As I gazed into the green eyes, those doors to Brad's soul, I knew Brad loved me.

Brad, moved that fraction closer and his lips touched my lips causing an electrical shock to pass through our bodies.  So much was said without saying anything!

Brad kissed me again and asked,

"Jake, do you love me, or are you in love with me?"

"Both," came my breathless reply.


"Yeah.  I  love you like I love my Dad and Sadie and others,  but I am in love with you because I only want you.  You are what is important to me.  You make me what I am, what I want to become.  I love you in a way that only lovers know.  You have become the center of my life, Brad.  You have brought order and joy to me.  When you touch me, well, it's magic.  I want to be in your arms, even when we're asleep.  Without you I'm like a bell without a clapper, a sail without wind," and then little sobs began.

"Oh, please, Jake, don't cry.  I didn't mean to upset you.  I just, well, I just had to know.  Baby, I am in love with you, deeply, completely.  As sure as my heart beats and my breaths come, I am in love with you. You complete me by making me remember the important things.  You only want to give and seldom ask for anything.  Jake, Jake, Jake, I can't put into words how much I am in love you, and I know for certain that if I were to be inside you, that we would both feel complete, but what then?"

"I don't understand, Brad."

Brad sighed and then pulled me into his arms.  He kissed me on the forehead, and then I laid my head on Brad's chest, over his heart. Brad's voice was soothing and filled with love,

"Jake, I want the first time to be the most special thing that happens to us.  I want to wait until that moment when we both need an extraordinary experience that  fully expresses our love for each other. 

"This is only the start of our second day together; I believe there will be moments when we will need this special lovemaking.  Jake, when we feel that moment has come, we will come together as you want and as I want.  I don't think that this is that moment."

"Just hold me, Brad.  I love you so much; you have helped me so much.  I just need you."

Brad began kissing my neck and ears, then my face, my eyes, my lips.  My moaning was all the motivation that Brad needed.  He spent time and effort on my nipples, licking them, sucking on them, and then giving them little love bites.  I was lifting my chest up off the bed, attempting to get more of my nipples into Brad's mouth.

Licking down my torso, Brad arrived at the light but distinct trail to my pubes, where he stopped, his nose deep in them inhaling my scent which was becoming intoxicating to him.

My penis was erect and twitching as Brad took it into his hand and took the head of it into his mouth.  He ran his tongue around the head, licking up the precum dripping from the piss slit.  He slowly lowered his head taking more and more of my cock into his mouth, and then to his surprise, and my pleasure, took some of my engorged cock into his throat.  He was now moaning as much as I was.

"Brad, Brad, is this as good for you as it is for me?"

"Mmmmmm," he responded as he moved his head up and down on me. 

He continued his effort, redoubling the speed until I was the one who was moaning, and exclaiming my pleasure.

"Oh, Brad, oh, oh, mmmmmm, God, Brad, ooohhhh, Brad I can't hold out any longer."

Brad's head went even faster in it's up and down journey on  my stiff appendage.  My body stiffened, and with a muted scream, I began to shoot cum into my lover's mouth and throat.  Brad was moaning, too, and his muffled moans and groans and my controlled scream confirmed that the two lovers had experienced a sexual high.  Unknown to me, Brad had been masturbating as he gave me, his boyfriend, that amazing blow job, thus he exploded simultaneously with me.

We both collapsed into sexual satisfaction, slowing heart rates, and normal breathing.  We kissed with quiet passion, sharing my essence.  Then out of no where, it seemed, I hugged Brad tightly to myself and began to weep uncontrollably.

"Shush, Baby, don't cry.  I hurt you, didn't I.  Forgive me, Jake.  I wanted to give you pleasure, that's all.  Here I did it again, fucking everything up.  I'm going to get up and get dressed and I'll leave.  You call me when you feel like talking about it.  I'm so sorry, Baby, so sorry," said a dejected Brad.

With the apparent strength of a giant, I threw Brad to his back and straddled him, sitting on his chest, I was crying and laughing at the same time,

"You just shut up!  Do you hear me, shut up!  You just made me feel like the most important person in the world.  You took me to some place I had never been before, Brad.  My wonderful lover, I am crying and laughing for joy.  How can I ever make you feel the same way, have the same joy?  You're not going anywhere. You're staying with me if I have to sit on you the rest of the night, the rest of the month, the rest of the year.  Understand?  I love you so much.  Please don't leave me.  Please stay with me."

"I'll stay, but don't move.  I like the feel of your hot ass on my chest.  It's so sexy.  Kiss me, Baby." 

And so I did.

"So I didn't hurt you; I didn't fuck up again?"

I answered with my lips, first kissing Brad's lips and then his chin.

"No, you didn't hurt me.  You made me happier than I think I have ever been in my life.  Will you take me into your arms and we can sleep for a bit more?  Or we can enjoy the Jacuzzi, or the shower, or all three.  What's your pleasure?" 

Brad laughed.

"You are my pleasure, my sweet champion swimmer.  You make me happy, and when you shot off, I did, too.  That's what you did to me."

"But I didn't do anything to you.  How?"

"Being with you, making love to you, and a little help from my right hand, and tuning into your body, I was able to reach my climax when you did.  And I got to taste you, to have your essence in me.  That's how."

"You fantastic footballer.  I love you, Brad.  I really do, but I'm not letting you go until you tell me what you want to do next."  Both of us were giggling like school girls.

"I want to hold you for a while.  Then I want to make love to you in the Jacuzzi, and then I want to make love to you in the shower, then I want to make love to you out of the shower, and then again before we get dressed, and then more times at  breakfast, and then after breakfast, and then in the Mustang, and then in the park.  Well, do you get the idea? 

I was laughing so hard that I slobbered all over Brad's chest.

"If we did that, my horny lover, your cock would fall off and so would mine." 

Brad replied,  "Or they would shrink up so much that they would disappear.  And I bet we would both have blue balls.  But it would be worth it, Baby, if I could enjoy you all those times, make you cum all those times. WOW!   It would be the mostest with the greatest.  Come here, kiss me, make me get hard again.  Oh, right, I'm already hard, and so are you, Jake, your cock is almost in my mouth.  Which, by the way, I like.  You're so lickable, so suckable.  Hell, I could eat you up, Baby." 

I playfully slapped Brad.

"You eat me up and then you won't have me to make love to.  Then what would you do?  Probably find another lover.  Who would it be?  Kevin?  Ashton? No. No. I know.  It would be your secret lover, Shanks." 

That did it,  Almost picking me, up, Brad reversed our positions and now he was sitting atop me, his erect penis close to my mouth.  Before he could stop me, I raised my head and took the head of Brad's cock into my mouth and licked around it with my tongue.  I grabbed Brad by his ass cheeks and pulled him deeper into my mouth.  Brad had decided against that for the moment.   He tickled me until we were rolling about on the bed and suddenly we were on the floor, naked and erect and laughing hysterically.

"It must be the Jacuzzi then," I said.

"Righto, fishman.  Let's go."

We got to our feet and moved quietly toward the bathroom, still with arms around each other, Brad with his arm around my shoulders, I had my arm around Brad's waist.

 If anyone had watched us as we walked to the bathroom, they would have noticed how absolutely delicious both our asses were.

To be continued...

"The measure of love is to love without measure"

Feedback always welcome:    

Thanks to my editor, Wayne, and to my readers, Peter and Rock.  Their help has added immeasurably to the story. Best of all, they are my friends.

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