Finding Love: A Journey – II
(© 2007-2008 by the author)
Disclaimer: This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual
activities between males. If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where
viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or
homosexual themes, leave this site now.
The characters in this story do not always practice safe sex. Remember this is fiction. You should always use a condom for the your protection and especially for the protection of the one you love. The author recommends only safe sex. Be wise and follow safe sex practices.
Several songs are quoted in this story. The copyrights to these are held by the artists or their publishers and not by the author. They are quoted as a tribute to the artist and the piece.
All persons in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
All other disclaimers apply. The author retains all rights. No reproductions
are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
"A nice picture, Gary, but hardly accurate. We don't answer
to the Pope. That's a Roman Catholic thing. We just sort of stumble along with
Gary laughed now, and after kissing Jim again, he continued,
"Okay, no Pope, but wherever you are sent, I will be with
you. Always! I will always be by your side. I will always protect your back,
and I will always hold you in your sad moments and always rejoice in your joy.
Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand. Now come on, let's get to the shower."
When the lights in the theater game up, Adam and Devon were already on their feet. They exited the theater, Adam following behind Devon. As they were walking toward the car, someone called out to them. They turned to see Kev and Vikki together.
"Hey, we're going for pizza, want to join us?" asked Kev.
"Yeah, it would be fun," added Vikki.
Devon glanced at Adam and could tell from the look of surprise on his face that this wasn't what he wanted to do. Devon quickly answered, "Thanks, but we have some other plans and we really don't want to change them. Maybe another time."
Vikki laughed and took Kev's hand. As they walked away, they suddenly stopped and Vikki turned around, giggling, she said,
"Have fun you two. By the way, you make a nice couple."
Adam's face went immediately red and he actually stopped walking. Devon turned to him and smiled. "Come on, don't let that bother you. Don't you see, Vikki was actually saying a nice thing. Let's get to the car and get going."
The two young men hurried to the Oldsmobile where Devon unlocked the car. They were quickly inside fastening their seat belts. "Whatcha thinking, Adam?" asked Devon.
As they drove out on to US 1, Adam squirmed in his seat. He looked away from Devon and out the window, watching the brightly lighted big box stores fly past. "I was embarrassed by what Vikki said. Also, the evil in the movie upset me."
Devon didn't respond immediately, but did turn off the radio. He reached out and patted Adam's leg. "You don't have to be embarrassed by what Vikki said, Adam. She was kidding a little, but I think she was also trying to be kind. Does having someone call us a couple embarrass you?"
"No, well yes, it does a little. I mean you have this other person you really like and so how could we be a couple."
"I see," said Devon, "but maybe we could be a couple. Who knows what the future may hold? Right?"
"I don't know. Maybe. But maybe I don't want to wait, maybe I don't dare to wait. Let's talk about something else, okay?"
"Whatever you want, Adam. You said the evil in the movie upset you. It has to be upsetting to all of us. Why do you think it upset you so much?"
"I don't want to talk about it, Dev. It has to do with my life and what happened to me. It's something I'll tell you later when I feel more comfortable about it all. Will you be willing to wait?"
Devon smiled at Adam and a little to himself. "Of course, I can wait. I can wait." To himself, he thought, `I am not going to wait much longer to tell Adam that I am in love with him. That he's the one I spoke to him about. I will tell him tonight!"
Soon they were passing over the bridge and causeway and arrived at the beach. The parking lot was nearly empty, but there were eight or ten cars parked in the darker corners of the lot. Devon pulled up to a parking spot near the lights.
"Let's take a blanket with us, so we can sit on the beach and not get our shorts wet," suggested Devon.
The two young men got out of the car and walked to the stairs that led to the bridge to the other set of stairs that led down to the beach. They did not talk. Devon led the way and carried the blanket under one arms. They stopped at the base of the stairs and slipped off their sandals. They slowly walked down toward the breaking surf. Still they didn't speak. Devon turned just before reaching the water and began walking north on the beach. Adam was walking by his side.
Breaking the silence, Devon asked, "May I hold your hand?"
"Yes, I would like that." There followed a bit of shuffling of the blanket and sandals from one hand to another until they could hold hands.
"Your hands are warm, Dev. I think mine are cold," Adam said.
They had walked a good distance from the stairs when Devon stopped. He let go of Adam's hand and put the blanket on the beach with his sandals on it. He took Adam's sandals and put them with his.
"Adam, what do you think of the moon? It looks so bright and full tonight."
Adam leaned toward Devon, their bodies touching. "It's quite beautiful. I like the way it reflects off the ocean. It sparkles, like jewels."
"Yes, it does," said Devon as he turned to Adam and took him into his arms. He held him tightly against his body. At first Adam wasn't sure about being in Devon's arms because it made him remember all the things he wanted to forget. Being this close to Devon made his body feel weak and his heart began to beat faster than usual.
But Adam's shyness, his complete surrender to the feelings he was experiencing, gave way to a desire, a deep unfathomable desire to hold Devon in his arms. With this comfortable feeling, he began to tighten his arms around Devon.
They stood there for a long time just holding each other. Devon took one hand from around Adam, and he lifted Adam's chin, leaned forward and kissed him gently. Adam's entire body shuddered and he pulled Devon even more tightly to himself. Then he began to return the kiss, but with passion and without gentleness. The kiss continued, and when Devon pushed with his tongue against Adam's lips, he opened them and the two boys began enjoying a wonderful French kiss. Eventually, when both of them were gasping for breath, they broke apart.
"I'm sorry, Adam. I should not have done that. I'm going too fast for you. Forgive me?" Devon knelt on the blanket leaving Adam standing and confused. He knelt beside Devon on the blanket. He kissed him gently, and in a voice filled with what only could be characterized as love, he said,
"No, it wasn't too fast. But I'm the one who is wrong because I know there is someone else. I should not have returned your kiss, because I can't let it lead to some kind of sexual experience because you do not love me. I know now that I love you, Devon McKay, and because I do, I need to let you go so that you can find the love you want and which you deserve. I'll be okay because I have learned how to deal with disappointment and rejection. It's not your fault, Devon. I think you should take me home. Please take me home."
Devon grabbed Adam and forced him onto his back on the blanket. He was ready to straddle Adam when the boy on his back cried out, "Please, please don't beat me. I'll do whatever you want, but I can't take any more beatings. My body is broken and my spirit is also damaged." Tears flowed from Adam's eyes, and Devon in a state of shock, pulled back and in a voice fraught with disbelief, cried out,
"Adam, Adam, I would never beat you. Please believe me; I could never do that to you. Adam, listen to me. You're the one. It's you that I have fallen in love with. You're the one I want to be with. Why would you think that I would hurt you? My God, Adam, I love you. I love... you!" Devon fell forward and covered Adam's sobbing body with his, and kissed him with the gentlest kisses on his face, taking the tears away, and whispering over and over again, "I love you, Adam. I love you, Adam."
Adam had wrapped his arms tightly around Devon. His emotions were nearly unraveled as he thought of all that Devon had said to him. He had to tell Devon about his past, because he wanted Devon to have a chance to leave him if he was . . .
Devon was kissing Adam with complete abandon and he actually began to take off Adam's t-shirt but he was unable to do it until he rolled Adam on to his stomach. He removed the shirt, and his desire for Adam quickly dissolved as he stared down at the scarred back of the young man he loved. He gasped, but then began to kiss each scar, and as he did, tears flowed from him and dropped down onto the horror of Adam's back. There, they acted like a salve which, with his kisses, finally broke the shackles that had for so long kept Adam their prisoner and healed his spirit.
Adam's emotions were raw with remembrance and his tears were flowing freely, a testament to a past that had kept him from ever becoming himself. Now, as Devon's lips and tears met each scar, they acted as a redemption from the terrible evil that Adam had known. He could feel his soul, his most personal and secret being, flying free at last from his tortured person. He turned quickly and was immediately in Devon's arms. The two young men were kissing and their salty tears mixed together in one unspoken emblem which bound them as a couple.
"I love you, Devon. Thank you for loving me in spite of what you have seen on my back. I should have told you. Maybe now you will not wish to be with me. I will try to understand, I will forgive . . .
Devon put his finger across Adam's lips, "Quiet, Lover, quiet! I love you now more than before. When you can or if you want to, you will tell me what you want me to know. Right now can we just lie here in each other's arms and enjoy the fact that we found each other and that we love each other. Everything else can wait."
In the silence that followed the two held each other and lay there on the beach in the moonlight, each more confident than ever that they had found their soul mate.
Adam slowly moved out of Devon's arms and sat up on the messy blanket, which never really was spread out. He reached across and removed Devon's t-shirt. Then he leaned forward and kissed Devon's chest.
"Let's straighten out the blanket so we can be more comfortable," Adam whispered. Devon got to his feet and pulled Adam up. The kissed briefly and then began to shake the sand out off the blanket. They had a short hunt to find their sandals which they placed on the four corners of the blanket. Devon picked up the two shirts and put them in a small pile. To Devon's surprise, Adam dropped his shorts and underwear and kicked them into the pile of shirts. He stood before Devon, naked and partially erect. Devon followed quickly and stood naked before Adam, but he was totally erect.
"You're beautiful, Dev. I want to hold you while we are naked," whispered Adam.
"And you, dear, sweet Adam, you are so perfect. Come here to me," murmured Devon.
Together they sank to their knees on the blanket. The both lay down and immediately were in each other's arms. There was a contented moan from Adam. Devon kissed his ear, and whispered for only him to hear, "You feel so right in my arms. I want you there for all time. And you must like me a little, Lover, because I feel your penis pushing against me in all of its steel hardness." Adam giggled.
"I can feel your cock, Dev. It's bigger than mine. May I touch it?"
"Yeah, but I want to have your cock in my hand, too."
They rolled to their backs their cocks sticking up in slightly different ways, but both showing their pleasure. They reached across and wrapped their fingers around the hardened pricks. As if by some direction, they began to masturbate each other. They moved slowly at first but as the increasing pleasure coursed through their bodies, they began to move their hands faster and faster. They were kissing passionately their tongues dueling for mastery over the other.
Finally with a groan that was probably too loud for where they were, they both exploded, their cum shooting high and long before falling onto their faces and chests. The sound of their heavy breathing and the timpani-like pounding of their hearts obscured the mashing sounds of their passionate kissing and the breaking waves of the ocean. After a bit of cool down, it was Adam who spoke first,
"Dev, that was . . . was awesome. I don't think I have ever had such a wonderful feeling. I wish I could spend the night here in your arms."
Devon just kissed Adam gently and then slowly began to lick up their conjoined seed, finally sharing it with Adam in a long, lingering kiss. "I don't want to move, Adam. I want to hold you like this, our naked bodies like one. I love you, Adam. You are the first man in my life and I pray to God you will be the only one."
There was not any need for talk as the two melted again into each other's arms, their lips telling the intensity of their feelings. They stayed that way until the moon was high in the heavens, telling by its celestial path across the night sky that it was getting late. Devon, who was to look out for Adam, spoke.
"Let's go for a quick swim, the water's warm this time of year. It will be pleasant." Adam moved a little away from Dev, and looked into his boyfriend's beautiful green eyes. He snickered a little as he told Dev, "But I can't swim, Dev. I'll probably drown."
Dev kissed Adam again and informed him, "Don't worry, Baby, I won't let go of you for a moment. <Another kiss.> I'll be sure to hold you close to me, Adam. <Another kiss.> I won't let anything happen to you. <Another kiss.> Trust me, Baby." <Another kiss.>
Adam kissed Dev. "If you promise to keep kissing me, I won't worry about anything. <Another kiss.> Your kisses make me feel so happy, so filled with joy. <Another kiss.> It also makes me get a very big erection. <Another longer kiss.>
Devon laughed lightly and took Adam's hand and began moving toward the breaking waves. "I have to cool you off, Baby. I need to get cooled off, too. My cock is hard. Come on."
The two young men ran naked to the ocean, their erect cocks bobbing up and down. Laughing, they continued to take large steps, almost leaps into the breaking waves. When they were almost there, Dev picked up Adam in his arms, kissed him, and ran head long into the wave. When the wave passed over them, they stood in the thigh deep water, kissing madly. The moonlight made the droplets of saltwater sparkle like millions of blue-white diamonds.
Adam was coughing a little and said to Dev, "I think a just swallowed half of the Atlantic ocean." Dev pulled Adam to his chest, kissed him again, and assured him,
"I know how to prevent your swallowing any more water. Just kiss me hard and long when the wave washes over us, and if you need hold your nose. I know . . ."
A huge wave washed over the two of them, as they kissed passionately, they both ended up on their asses in the sand, laughing and kissing. "I don't want to go home, Dev. I want to stay here with you until the sun comes up. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I love you."
Devon pulled Adam to his feet, picked him up into his arms and walked out of the water and to the blanket . He placed Adam gently on the blanket and knelt beside him. He leaned forward and first kissed Adam's nipple and then he licked it. Adam grabbed Devon's head and held it to his chest. He was experiencing feelings that he never could have imagined.
Devon, lifted his head, smiled at his lover and kissed him gently on the lips. "I have to get you home, Baby, or Sadie will have my balls, and I want to save those for making you happy and fulfilled. Listen to me, Adam. There will be other nights, other times when we can express our love to each other. Right now, though, we have to get going."
"No, I won't leave until . . ."
"Until what?" demanded Devon.
"Until I suck your cock. Please, Devon, I want to do it."
Devon clasped Adam to his chest and kissed him with a fierce intensity. "I want that too, Baby; I can't begin to tell you how much, but not now. I want to have lots of time for us to enjoy each other. Think of what we have to look forward to. I want to suck you, too, but we have to get you home so that we can have other nights like this. Please understand how difficult this is for me, Adam, to hurry home instead of staying here and making love with you."
"I understand, but I still don't want to leave. I just want to be with you, Dev. But you're right, if you get me home too late and all wet and dirty with sand, Sadie may still want to rip off your balls, but I won't let her. I`ll stand in front of you, and if need be, I will kiss you and tell Sadie how much I love you."
"Would you really do that?" asked Devon.
"Damn right I would."
"You little shit, no wonder I love you so much. So can we go home?"
"Sure," Adam said as he pushed Devon on to his back and quickly sat on his lover's stomach. He bent from his waist and kissed the head of Devon's cock which jumped and began to grow and harden. Adam had never sucked a cock before, but he tried to remember what he had seen earlier, and he took a couple of inches of Devon's seven inch cock into his mouth using his tongue to lick the head and the underside of the penis. Devon was moaning, but was about to show Adam who was in control.
Devon flipped Adam onto his back and holding him down with an arm across his chest, he kissed Adam's cock and quickly swallowed the entire six hard inches. He pulled off Adam's cock, pulled his legs back and smacked his naked ass cheek.
"Come on you sexy man, you. I want loads of time when I suck
you off the first time. You deserve the very best and I plan to give it to
you. Do you forgive me for breaking this up right now?"
"Yeah, but I want more of you, boyfriend, because I liked your taste. I may make it the only thing I want. I'll get ready, will you please brush off my back. There's some sand on it."
Devon gently brushed off Adam's back, again kissing each of the scars. When he reached Adam's beautiful butt, he dropped to his knees and kissed each firm lobe. Adam moaned in pleasure, saying, "Who's being the naughty boy now?"
"I am," said Dev, "but you have a beautiful ass. I want to get to know it better someday soon, too."
"Hmmm, I'll think about it," said Adam as he pulled on his underwear and shorts. As he reached for his t-shirt, he reminded Dev, "You know, don't you, that you have a great tight ass that I want to get to know better as well." He slipped on his shirt and walked to Devon who was just pulling his shirt over his head.
"Kiss me hard, right now, please. It may be the last time tonight that I will be able to feel your lips on mine."
"Your wish is . . ."
"Yeah, I know the rest of that cliché," interrupted Adam as both of them began to hunt for their sandals which by now were somewhere in the sand. In a few minutes they had found them, and they shook the sand off the blanket. They kissed each other, this time a lingering, hard kiss, and then began walking down the beach to the parking lot and the car.
When they reached the car, Adam held out his arm to prevent Devon from getting in the car. "I have something very important to tell you. I'm afraid of what you may think of me, and even more afraid that you will not want to be my boyfriend after you hear what I have to say."
Devon was concerned and a little confused by what Adam had said. "Why don't you tell me as we drive back to the house."
Once they were in the car and were secured by the seat belts, Devon started the Oldsmobile and drove out of the parking lot. Shortly after they were driving back, he said, "Okay, Adam, what is it that you have to tell me?"
Adam put his head in his hands, unable for a moment to speak. He had wet eyes, and he trembled as he began,
"Devon, I never knew my parents. I was told by my aunt that they were killed, but I have always wondered if they abandoned me. I thought about that for a long time, but I decided to accept what my aunt told me. Living with her was the beginning of the hell I was to experience for a long time. She hated me, but even more than that, she hated that she had to care for me, and in fact, she didn't really care for me. I sometimes didn't have anything to eat and my clothes were all bought at second hand stores. I slept in the attic on a mattress on the floor. I knew there were rats, because I saw their dropping, but I never actually saw one.
"After living with my aunt for a little over two years, she had a gentleman friend who came to the house and to her bed. I heard them talking often of ways they might get rid of me. Finally I heard her talking on the phone to the man who ran the Colony, a place I would discover that was designed to change young homosexual boys into heterosexual boys. At that time I had no idea of homosexual or heterosexual behavior. I heard her tell the person on the phone that she would have me there in a few days.
"When we arrived at the Colony, we were ushered into the principal's office where we met the Reverend Colechester. My aunt told him he could do what he wanted to do with me. She told him she never wanted to see me again. He handed her an envelope filled with money. `My God,' I thought, `she sold me to him." This is where a hell I could never have imagined began."
Devon looked quickly at Adam, trying to decide whether to interrupt him, and maybe even change the subject. But instead he asked,
"Adam, are you sure you want to go on with this? Would it be better to wait until another day, another place?"
Adam shifted in his seat, raised his hand to his head as if to capture a thought or to mitigate a headache. He looked directly at Devon, "No, I have to tell you all of this. You need to know because it might change how you feel about me. I have to tell you."
Devon couldn't take it any longer. He pulled into the parking lot of the Walgreens and drove to the darkest corner. He shut off the car, unfastened his seat belt, and released Adam's seat belt, grabbed him and hugged him tightly and kissed him hard.
"You silly, lovable, man. I could never change my mind about
how I feel about you, Adam. How could you think that? I love you."
Adam clung to Devon, holding back a flood of tears that were about to spring from his eyes. But he maintained his presence, and kissed Devon's ear, "Dev, I love you, too, but I think it is important that you know about what happened at the Colony and how I came to be here with the Neilsons. I'll try to keep it short as I don't wish to bore you with my life history."
"Damn it, Adam, that's not why I asked if you wanted to go on. I don't want you to get too emotional, to get too upset, not after the wonderful night we've spent together. That's all I meant, please forgive me if I gave you any other idea."
Now the tears came, Adam sobbed against Devon's chest, almost choking. "I don't . . .don't . . . want to . . . lose . . . lose you. It would . . . kill me . . . kill me. I . . . wouldn't be . . . able to . . .go on. Oh, Dev, please love me, protect me, care for me."
Dev stroked Adam's still wet hair, and kissed the top of his head as it lay on his chest. His heart was breaking as he heard the agony in Adam's voice. He tightened his arms around the weeping boy, his own heart nearly breaking.
"Adam, dear, dear, Adam, I do love you and I will be your knight, your protector, but most of all I will be your best friend and your lover. Since I met you, Adam, my life has become something I cherish. I look forward to each day because I know you'll be in it, that you will be with me. Nothing you can tell me about the Colony will change my mind. Nothing! Do you understand?"
"Yes, I do. Hold me, Dev, while I tell you everything that happened."
"Of course, I will. Now, tell me all you wish, my handsome lover," whispered Devon. Adam began the tale of his time at the Colony, his eventual rescue by Doug Neilson and how he came to be here living with the Neilsons. He also related to Devon the plan to be adopted by Doug and Diane Neilson. The story which Adam told did not leave out any of the details of his beatings and his sexual abuse.
He also told Devon of his constant refusal to participate in the sexual shenanigans until it led to his beatings, the torture of being in solitary confinement, the withholding of food, the lack of heat or A/C, no toilet or bathing facilities, and only rags for clothing. He also explained to Devon that he had to sleep on the floor, much of which was covered in feces and urine. At night he worried about the rats he heard scurrying around the cell."
Finally he sighed deeply, and announced, "That's all I have to tell you. Please, Dev, don't hate me. Please."
"Adam, I could never hate you. My, God, Adam, I'm so sorry you had to endure all that shit. If I could, I would beat the fucking shit out of those bastards. I would . . ."
"Don't waste any energy on those people," interrupted Adam, as he raised his head and kissed Devon.
Devon could feel Adam relax in his arms. It made him smile because this was the obstacle that had confronted him, the notion that something about Adam's personal history was missing. Finally he knew Adam and with that knowledge came an even deeper emotional connection to his lover. Surely he was in love with Adam, and he knew that even a month ago. But before that he would have argued that anyone who said you could fall in love with another guy at first glance was an idiot. Devon knew better now because it had happened to him, and he was now the luckiest guy in the world because he had Adam, he loved Adam, and Adam loved him.
"Adam, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all that you have told me. I will never share it with anyone, not my grandparents, no one. It helps to bind us together. I want to hold you like this all night. I can't imagine going home without you. God, it will be terrible. What are we going to do?"
"I don't want to leave you either. I'm going to call Jacob on my cell phone. If he's able to, he'll help us find a way to be together. So will Brad." Adam quick dialed Jacob. The phone rang twice before Jacob answered.
"Jacob here. Hi Adam. Are you in some kind of trouble?"
Adam laughed, saying, "No I'm not in trouble. I'm in love. Jacob, Devon and I want to spend the night together. Is there any way you can help us?"
Adam could hear some conversation in the background. Then I told him, "Come to the house in half an hour. Brad and I will be back from the hospital by then."
Adam reacted immediately, "Whoa! Who's in the hospital? Are Dad and Mom okay? What's the matter?" Devon sensed the anxiety as Adam's body stiffened against his as he spoke.
"Adam, listen. We're at the hospital because Mr. Mason tried to commit suicide at the jail. He didn't succeed, but he's in tough shape. We have to leave shortly, but if things change and we stay later, then I'm sorry, but this has to come first. Okay?"
"Yeah, I understand. I'll say a prayer for Mr. Mason. I know he did some terrible things to you and Brad, but it's very important to forgive, Jacob. Tell Brad I hope he can forgive his father, especially now when his father's life hangs in the balance. Don't worry about what I asked, Jacob. You and Brad have enough to worry about. Devon and I will come up with some solution, or we'll just have to live through the night without each other. Goodbye." Adam hung up quickly, preventing Jacob from arguing with him.
"Damn, damn it all! Why did this have to happen?" complained Adam.
Devon hugged him again, kissed him gently on his ear and asked in a lover's whisper, "What's the matter, Baby?"
"Brad's dad tried to kill himself at the jail. He's at the hospital now with Jacob trying to determine what is going to happen. They want us to meet them at home in about a half an hour, but they can't promise that they'll be there if something unexpected happens. You heard me tell them not to worry about us. I really meant that."
"Shut up and kiss me," demanded Devon. Adam was quick to obey. After a long, passionate and tongue-filled kiss, when the two lover's came up for air, Adam began to giggle.
"What's so funny?" asked Devon.
"We could spend the night in your car. But it would be difficult to have real hot sex unless we are both double jointed. That I doubt, so, what do we do?"
Devon was laughing now, "That does present a strange and amusing image doesn't it? Let's go to your place and see what happens. We'll figure something out, or if we can't then we'll have to spend the night apart. If that happens, the world won't end."
Adam put his arms around Devon's neck, and brought his lips to his lover's. The kiss was long, but gentle.
"I think it will seem like the end of the world to me, Dev. I really do."
To be continued...
"The measure of love is to love
Feedback always welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks to Peter for his intelligent and sensitive editing along with his insightful suggestions which add much to the story. I also want to thank Alex for agreeing to translate from English to German, thereby assuring the best translation possible.
Author's Note: This and all my stories are also posted on http://tickiestories.us along with several other great authors and stories, please stop by and check them out.