Date: Sat, 20 Feb 2016 16:20:27 +0000 From: Matthew S Subject: Finding My Voice - Chapter Nine Hi guys, This is my first time ever writing a story though I've been an avid fan of Nifty for a while. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while and would greatly appreciate any feedback you have for me. Please feel free to email me at mattstories@hotmail.com even if it's just to tell me that you liked/hated the story. Apologies for any typing, spelling or grammatical errors. This story will contain sexual scenes but is also a story about a teenage boy growing into himself and his sexuality. Although I have borrowed from my own life and experiences, any events that seem similar to your own lives are purely coincidental. All copyrights for this story are held by me. If it is not legal for you to read this story then that is a decision that you need take for yourself but any consequences of that decision are yours. - - - - - - - - - The story so far: Our main character, Aaron, is 13 years old and suffers from a crippling shyness which makes social situations difficult for him. School sent him on a trip to Germany, during which time he rooms with three older boys; Adam, Danny and Kieran. Aaron has had a serious crush on Kieran all year and eventually, after much deliberation, he built up the courage to kiss his dream boy. Friendships have built up with the other two boys as well, particularly when Aaron helped out Danny when he was being threatened by a girl, Kelly, who was going to say that Danny had sexually assaulted her. Aaron has just found out that Kieran had noticed him long before this Germany trip and had even been the one to suggest Aaron be made to go. This has left him feeling quite lost and confused. To make matters worse, Kelly has just brought from the boys from her popular group and attacked Aaron. - - - - - - - - - Finding My Voice - Chapter nine. The only fight I'd ever been in was way back when I was 7 at the end of Year 2. I'd been playing on some of the new playground equipment at my Primary School when another boy came over and demanded that I get off. When I refused, he pulled me to the ground and hit me in my stomach. I say it was a fight but, in truth, I didn't do anything. I just curled up into a little ball and began to cry while the teacher pulled him off me. The school decided to send me home and I remember spending the rest of the day in a bit of a daze; just so shocked that someone could do that to me, well... to anyone really. Since then, my chosen invisibility had kept me off the radars of bullies and thugs at my school so I'd been pretty safe physically... until now anyway. After that second hit, I didn't see anything else but, it's strange, it's almost like I could still hear what was happening. I've flashing memories of Danny's voice shouting with such fury behind it that just the memory makes me shiver. Then a soft voice in my ear, almost a whisper. It sounded... broken; was the person crying? There was a woman as well but it wasn't Kelly. The voice was too low for her, too commanding; it had to be an older woman. Then it all disappeared again. Cold. That was the only thought that came to mind. Sight still escaped me but I knew there were things all over me, cold prying things... hands! They were hands! Who was touching me? Voices spoke around me but I couldn't understand a word; they sounded hurried. It was getting louder and louder and then nothing, it all stopped and fell away. Someone was fiddling with my arm. I knew they were there but I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't speak to them. My arm fell back down, hitting something soft, and I heard the shuffling of feet and a door closing as I finally managed to force my eyes open. Light filled the room, so much so that I instantly closed my eyes again purely from reflex. Little by little, and shielding them with my right hand, I took a first look at my surroundings. I was in a hospital bed, that much was clear. There were two large windows to my right and a wooden door to the left; it was a private room with a dirty old chair in the corner. Wires twisted out of my body and into the various different machines around the bed; they were beeping regularly so I assumed I was ok. My head hurt though, a dull ache that seemed to be punctuated by the occasional sharp pulse that sent waves of pain across my body. "Oh thank God!" came a voice from the door. It felt familiar; it was the same female voice I'd heard before - Miss Raymond! "Do not scare me like that again Aaron! We thought... well... it doesn't matter now. You're ok." Miss Raymond had always presented herself to the highest standards; she dressed well and always ensured that her look gave off the correct vibe but, as she came to my bedside, I could see the clearly sleepless night she had had. Her dishevelled hair told of a night spent sleeping in one of these hospital chairs and of long, stressful conversations with doctors and nurses. Still unable to speak, I stared at her for a moment. My lips began to move and she reached over for a glass of water, forcing me to drink some down. Thirst quenched and lips wet, I coughed to clear my throat. Looking at my teacher, I simply asked; "What happened?" As it turns out, Kelly hadn't been too happy about me recording her and had spent the morning going to all of the other year 8 boys on the trip and telling them how I had attacked her. She had spun a good tale and batted her eyelashes enough that each one of them vowed to get me back for her so, when she saw me alone outside the hotel, she had seized her chance and set her attack dogs on me. Miss Raymond was very honest with me; the beating had gone on for a little while after I blacked out. The boys began to kick me as I lay unconscious on the floor and, given how much Kelly was encouraging them to get more and more violent, I think it would have had truly disastrous consequences for me if Danny hadn't come flying out of the gym and jumped on the nearest boy. "Now you should know that I don't condone violence," Miss Raymond began, remembering her status as my teacher, "But, honestly, that boy was like a man possessed. He threw each of those boys away from you without so much as breaking a sweat and then stood between them and you. He even scared me when I was dragged down to you by Kieran." Kieran... at the sound of his name, a range of emotions flashed through my mind. He lied to me, manipulated me. He doesn't care about me. I'm surprised he didn't leave me there to... "You're lucky Aaron," came Miss Raymond's voice. Soft and clear as it cut through my thoughts. The confusion must have been showing on my face because she continued, "That boy refused to leave your side. He was with you when you were laid there on the floor; he demanded to come in the ambulance with you. God, he even slept in his room on that chair until I made him go back to the hotel to get something to eat and a clean set of clothes." "But..." the words caught in my throat. "You've made a real friend there Aaron and I'm glad. I was beginning to get worried about you." "But... he... he tricked me into coming on this trip," I said, in a voice that sounded very much like a 4 year old telling his mum that someone broke his toy. "What are you talking about?" "He told Mr Holmes to make me come here," it sounded even more pathetic this time around. Her laugh surprised me, "Oh Aaron I'm sorry," she said when she calmed herself, "But do you honestly think that the teachers at your school, not to mention your mother, pushed you into coming her just because some random year 10 boy hinted that it might be a good idea?" I must admit, the idea did sound pretty ridiculous when you put it like that. "You're giving him far too much credit. Kieran's a lovely boy and he's relatively bright but he certainly isn't capable of turning all of the adults in your life into puppets that follow his every whim. You were sent on this trip because we all thought it would be good for you. It has been too, aside for the events of last night. Now, I need to go speak to the doctors to find out when we can get you out of here. I'll be back soon." God, what a fool I'd been. She was right; I was over-thinking this. Sure, Kieran did suggest that I come along to my Head of Year but did I honestly think he was capable of faking everything that had happened? I'd been so surprised that I'd let my thoughts run away with me and panicked when I became trapped by them. Still... there was a part of me that was black with doubt ... Over the next hour, I was prodded and poked by several different people. An older lady, with tiny circular glasses and silvery hair tied back in a bun, questioned me incessantly. Luckily, this time, I had Miss Raymond to act as translator otherwise it would very much have been a repeat of my experience with the German public on the high street yesterday morning. My answers seemed to be making the situation better rather than worse so that was a positive sign and Miss Raymond eventually told me that the doctors said I could leave in a few hours if the next batch of tests came back showing positive results. As they left, I found myself fiddling with something just above my left hand. Looking down, I could see two bright colours weaved together to form a band around my wrist. Blue and white contrasted beautifully together and I recognised it as one of the bracelets I'd been admiring in the shop yesterday morning. Kieran, it must have been. He had bought one of these to surprise me. Immediately, my eyes began to water. It was such a small action that, right then in that moment, had such a big impact. I knew who Kieran was and I shouldn't have let myself become confused by a silly throwaway thought. I still had questions and I needed answers but I knew that my feelings for him were real and I was pretty sure that his feelings for me were too. I was moments away from falling into a much needed sleep when a nurse came into my room holding a phone. I couldn't quite understand what she said but I think she made reference to my mother. True enough, when I took the phone from her, my mum's voice came pouring through from the other side; "Aaron, I'm so sorry! I can't believe I sent you, I'm so sorry..." that stream of apologies carried on for at least the first 40 seconds or so until I eventually stopped her. "No. Mum, stop. You were right." A stunned silence seemed to come through from her side of the conversation. "Coming here was exactly what I needed and this one thing doesn't change that." I think she was quite taken aback by my response considering how hard I'd fought to stay at home. Given that it's just mum and I at home, she is very protective of me and demanded that I be on the next plane back to England so she could look after me. She started talking about how she needed to protect me and keep me safe. To stop all the horrible people in the world getting to me. Her words, designed to make me feel safer, had quite the opposite effect; it was like the walls were coming in around me and I knew, immediately, that I couldn't go home right now. "No mum," I said quietly. She paused her stream of speech, "What was that my baby?" "I said no, I'm not coming home." She didn't respond and, in those brief moments, I doubted whether or not I'd done the right thing. It would be so much easier to go back home and pretend like this trip had never happened; to let my mum take that protective role over me and retreat away from the world again but... I actually didn't want to. She began to speak but I cut her off, something I don't think I'd done in years, "Listen to me mum. You sent me here for a reason and you were right. I've spent too long inside my own little world; hiding away from the people around me. These last few days, I've felt things I never thought I could feel and I don't want to go back to that way of living my life." I waited for her to respond, expecting her to jump in, but she didn't. I continued, "Mum, I know you're scared for me. I'm scared for me too but I'm more worried about what will happen if I stop his now and leave these new friendships behind." I explained how being here had opened up a new part of me, told her about the new friends I had made and the new experiences I'd been having though I did leave out the information about the experiences I'd had with Kieran; that's a whole different conversation for another time. "So you see I won't come home now. I can't come home now mum." I finished, my heart pounding in my chest as I awaited her response. Then I heard it. She was sobbing. Images of my mum's beautiful face with tears staining her cheeks came into my mind and I nearly waivered. I nearly took back everything I had just said and agreed to return; I wouldn't be the one to cause her this pain. But I was wrong. Just like with Kieran, I'd jumped to conclusions; "Aaron, my wonderful boy," she sighed, "I have never been more proud of you than I am right now. You're so right. You get that wisdom from your father you know? He always had a different way of seeing things. Ok sweetheart, stay there but what will you do about those vile people who attacked you?" "Miss told me that they are being sent back. Apparently, the police are waiting to talk to them." That seemed to ease her last few worries. We talked for a further 5 minutes, which contained at least 12 more 'I love you' statements from her, and it ended up with both of us in tears of happiness. When the nurse returned to get the phone, I'd already fallen asleep. My dreams were chaotic to say the least. The seemed to revolve around Kieran; flashes of him kissing me were mixed with images of his face crying. Everything swirled together into a huge mess of confusion and began to darken as my dreams called forth the memory of the punches I'd received. It was then that I felt something heavy on my hand. My eyes shot open and I pulled away from this unknown intrusion. As I did, I saw Kieran's face fall; he'd misunderstood. Immediately, he started babbling; "Aaron I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to control you, that's not what was going on. I understand if you hate me now and don't want to..." Reaching up, I took hold of his t shirt and he fell silent. The look on his face said everything; in that moment, I knew that all of my initial thoughts had been wrong. What he felt for me was genuine. I pulled him closer, and my lips met his. Frozen at first with shock, he soon responded and his lips rubbed against mine. This was not a passionate kiss; there was no grabbing of heads, no pulling off of clothes. This was a kiss that carried an important message; a kiss that told Kieran that everything was ok and told me that he did, indeed, care deeply about me. While waiting for the test results, we spoke in depth about everything that had happened so far. Kieran explained that he had gone to my Head of Year because he knew from watching me that I didn't really talk to anyone. In fact, when he tried to find out my name, the majority of the people in my year group didn't even know I existed. Concerned, he did the only thing he could think of to do and that planted the seed in Mr Holmes's head to secure me a place on this trip. "Yes, that meant that it was possible that we would get to spend time together but I was never going to force it, it's just been a fantastic by-product." He explained that if I had roomed with people from my year group then he would have just tried to talk to me at another point but as soon as he realised that I wasn't going to be with them, he seized the opportunity. "I don't want you to think that this is something I had planned all along. These last few days have been wonderful and I would hate for you to think that I just tricked you into sharing a bed with me. I didn't even know that the rooms were going to be double beds so I was as surprised as you were." Every word out of his mouth was genuine. I didn't need to question him, didn't need to doubt; I knew in my soul that he was being honest. The tears streaming from his eyes when he talked about how he felt when I found me unconscious on the floor were enough to start me crying. I pulled him in for another kiss, feeling his tongue entering my mouth as we explored and comforted each other again. I don't know how long we were doing that for but we were interrupted as the door swung open and Miss Raymond stepped in, "Get ready, your test results are... oh!" She paused for a moment and then, taking it in her stride, she calmed asked Kieran to go and wait outside while I gathered my things so that the taxi could take us back to the hotel. My lover and I shot a glance at each other, the fear clear in both of our eyes. - - - - - - - - - Thank you for reading chapter nine of my story. I hope you enjoyed it - please feel free to give me any feedback at mattstories@hotmail.com, I'd really appreciate it. I've started a new story. It has a very different feel to this one and is based much more around the sexual exploration of an older teen who finds himself single; it's a bit darker and grittier than this but you might enjoy it. It's called 'Young, Free and Newly Single' and is located in the Gay/Highschool section of Nifty. Please go check it out and let me know what you think. The feedback so far from you guys has been amazing. I am genuinely overwhelmed by the support and encouraging words you have sent me so thank you very much. It really does mean a lot to get that sort of response from you.