Date: Mon, 21 May 2001 04:19:18 EDT
From: Recklissmind@aol.com
Subject: first-boyfriend-series/ chapter 8

Here it is, Chapter 8. A few of you told me that 7 was short. Sorry about
that! I hadn't realized that it was any shorter than the other ones. But at
any rate, I don't divide my chapters by size, but rather by subject and
content. So this one is a little short too then proabably. Hope it's worth
the wait though.

******************************

      I pulled up in front of my house to find my Dad outside cutting the
lawn. "Hey, 'Ron!" He calls me that all the time. It's short for Aaron, as
if Aaron is so long that it needs a nick name. "Hey Dad," I answered back,
"when you get a sec, can you come in? There's something I want to talk to
you and Mom about." "Uhh... sure," he said, sounding surprised. I'd never
really done anything like that before. No "official" conversations. "Just
give me a few minutes until I can get the rest of this front done." I
nodded, passing him as I strode into the house, more determined than ever.

      The front door of my house opened into the living room, where my Mom
sat reading the newspaper. She looked up and smiled at me, then glanced at
her watch and back at me. "Hi baby! I thought you'd be back in the
morning," she said, sounding more concerned than scolding. "Oh, well we
slept in a bit.  Then Zack made breakfast." She smiled, as if satisfied by
my explanation, and went back to her paper. I made my way to the kitchen
and stood there, trying to catch my breath. I got a glass of water so it
didn't look weird that I had gone to the kitchen. The words just kept
running through my head. I had practiced them for a few years. I just
didn't know it would be this soon that I would be saying them. I heard the
front door shut, snapping my conviction back into place. I took a deep
breath and went back out to the living room, where my Dad had sat down on
the love seat next to my Mom.

      I chose the single chair across the room from where they were
sitting.  Thank goodness they had left me the side of the room near the
door. I had an exit, in case I needed to get out of there. "I have to tell
you guys something," I began. "I'm not sure how you're going to take it,
but please at least hear me out before you say anything." Both of them
nodded. That was a little reassuring, that at least they were going into
this conversation with open minds. "Well, first I want to ask you a
question. Last night, before I went to Zack's house, did you love me?" I
scanned the expressions on their faces as they both muttered their
affirmatives. "Good, because I'm the same person now that I was last night,
right?" My Dad nodded, but my Mom looked like I had just lost her. "Aaron,
what is it? Just tell us," she pleaded, her voice consumed by concern. I
closed my eyes and took another deep breath.  "Mom, Dad... I'm...gay." I
couldn't believe I just let myself blurt it out like that. I opened my
eyes, reluctantly. The look on my Mom's face is one I will remember for a
lifetime. Her eyes were wide open, as well as her mouth.  Pardon the
expression, but you could have knocked her over with a feather. My gaze
shifted to my dad who had more of a pensive look on his face. It seemed
like he was already beginning to digest the information I had just thrown
at him.

      There was a long, awkward silence. No one said anything. No one moved
or looked directly at anyone else. I needed to break the silence and get
them talking. "Well?" I asked, not really sure what to expect. "Well..." my
Dad said standing up. He started pacing back and forth between his seat and
the coffee table. "How long have you been this way?" Just like my Dad,
think things out logically. I was glad he didn't involve emotions though,
my Mom would be emotional enough for the three of us! "Since I was born
Dad, but I figured it out when I was twelve," I answered, trying to sound
as composed as possible. "I see," he said matter-of-fact-ly, "are you
sure?" I almost giggled at that one. How can you not be sure if you're gay
or not? As absurd as the question was, I knew I had to stay serious about
it. I didn't want to make them any more uneasy about this than they already
were. "Yes Dad, I'm sure," I said confirmingly. Another silence enveloped
the room, as my Dad returned to his steady amble back and forth in front of
the love seat.  Suddenly he stopped, looked at my mother, whose expression
had little change, then at me. "Can you give me a hand with this mower
outside, Aaron?" he asked, his facial expression telling me that's not what
he really wanted.

      I followed him outside. To my great surprise, he turned and embraced
me in the biggest hug I think he had ever given me. "You know that your
mother and I have always supported your decisions," he began. "I can except
you for who you are, and I still love you just as much as I ever have.
Your mother is going to take some time to come to terms with this though,
so you're going to have to give her her space and some time to adjust.
She'll be OK though. She loves you as much as I do, and nothing will change
that.  I'll talk to her." I smiled at him and hugged him again. "Thanks
Dad, I love you too." "Why don't you go out for a bit while I try to bring
your Mom back to reality," he suggested. "Oh, yeah. I've got to work from
2:30 until 6 anyway." "OK, we'll talk about this more when you get
back. Hopefully she'll be coherent enough by then to carry on a
discussion." I nodded at him and smiled, then headed for my car.

      I got in the car, relieved that I had finally gotten it off of my
chest. I was still worried about my Mom though. I thought that my Dad would
have taken it harder than my Mom. Boy, he really surprised me. He was
really cool about it though. I suspected the complete opposite. I figured
my Mom would be the one to talk sense into my Dad. I ran through that
scenario in my head while I drove to work. I compared it to the scene I had
practiced hundreds of times beforehand. It hadn't turned out the
same. Somehow I had planned to be more dramatic, and work in a lot of
suggestive things before I actually came out and said it. Now that I
thought about it, I'm glad my Mom had forced it out of me. The dissertation
that would have been coming to them would have only made them more uneasy
and nervous about what I had to say.

      I pulled into the parking lot at the supermarket where I worked. I
suddenly realized that I hadn't changed clothes from the day before. I had
only worn them to Zack's house, and not for long, might I add. So at least
no one would notice. I had bathed too. I guess I was alright. It was going
to be a long 3-and-a-half hours though!

      Around 4:30, Zack strolled into my 'kitchen,' as I like to call it.
I was so happy to see him! The salad bar hadn't really been busy that day,
and I was working ahead for the next day, so I decided that it would be OK
if I took a break. I grabbed my soda and headed for the break room, Zack
tailing me. I checked out the room when we got in, to find it unusually
empty. I turned around and quickly kissed Zack hello, knowing that we had
to be careful. We sat down, and I started talking. "I told them," I
declared simply. "Who and what did you tell them?" he asked
quizzically. "My parents," I said. "I told my parents that I'm gay." Zack
looked surprised, but a happy sort of surprised. "Really? What did they
say?" he asked. "Well, my Dad was fine about it. He was taken by surprise
at first, but he told me that he still loved me and that he could accept it
and all of that. My Mom didn't take it so well though. I'm not sure how she
is yet, but she didn't say a word when I told her. She just sat there with
her eyes and mouth wide open until I left for work."

      "Listen," I continued, "if you're not doing anything tonight, and my
Mom is doing better, do you want to come over for supper so you can meet
them?" "Sure," he responded. I was a little surprised that he was so quick
to respond. I knew that it was going to be a little awkward. I'm sure he
had to realize it too. "OK baby, well I should get back to work soon. I'll
call you after I get home and let you know what's going on, OK?" "Great,"
he said.  He smiled and leaned in to give me a quick kiss.

			 *     *     *     *     *

      I got home at around 6:15 and walked in the door to the sight of my
Dad sitting on the couch. When he saw me, he stood up. I could tell he had
been waiting for me. "Your Mom is sleeping he said. She's doing much
better.  I think she's going to be just fine. Why don't you go talk to
her?" he suggested. I nodded, as I started toward the stairs. I got to her
room and knocked softly on the door before opening it. "Mom?" I asked. "Hi
sweetheart," she said in a soft, somber voice. That made me feel better
right away. "Hi Mom, how are you feeling?" "Oh, I'll be OK. Really. Of
course it's going to take some getting used to, but I still love you. You
didn't ever doubt that, did you?" I smiled, "No Mom. I didn't doubt that at
all."

      After a few silent seconds I continued, "So do you want to meet my
boyfriend?" "You have a boyfriend?? What's his name?" she asked, actually
sounding happy for me. "Zack," I responded. "I spent the night at his house
last night. He's a junior. I was thinking I'd invite him to dinner tonight
if you want to meet him." "That sounds great," she said. I smiled as I got
up and left the room. My Dad had been standing in the hallway, waiting to
hear the verdict. "How'd it go?" he whispered. I shot him a smile and a
thumbs up.  He smiled back. "She says I can invite him to dinner tonight
too," I added.

"Him?" he asked. "Zack, my boyfriend." "Oh, you have a boyfriend?" he
asked, sounding just as happy for me as my Mom had. I nodded. "Anything
special you want me to cook?" "Whatever you want to cook will be fine,
Dad." He usually cooked on weekends, so that my Mom could have a break.

      I went to my room to call Zack and tell him the good news. I told him
that I'd be by to pick him up after I got a shower and changed. "Are you
sure you want to go through with this?" I asked. "It's going to be
tough. It's a first for everyone involved." "You took care of the tough
part Aaron, the least I could do is show up for supper." I giggled. "Ok,
I'll be there in about half an hour to pick you up. See you then, sweetie."
"OK, I love you."

"I love you too," I responded.

*******************************

Well? What did you all think? I'll bet some of you are wishing that coming
out to your parents were that easy. Well those are my plans for when I
actually tell my parents. I highly doubt that it will turn out that way,
but it would be nice.

Keep the emails coming: Recklissmind@aol.com

Love ya'll,
Ryan