The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are entirely fortuitous. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. If such content offends you please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written authority from the author. Write Bobby at firstname.lastname@example.org with your comments.
Fly Me Away 04
For years I've longed for someone to call a friend. Someone who actually wants to be around me. Someone that won't turn their back on me because I am a little bit different than everybody else. That's what Brandon is. He truly seems to enjoy being around me and talking to me, like he actually wants to. But as we all know with good news comes bad. He doesn't know a lot of the unusual things about me.
One thing that he definitely needs to find out about is the fact that I can't be left home alone. My mom has done that twice. The first time was on purpose and the second time was on accident. Don't get me wrong, though, she didn't leave me on purpose such as abandonment-even though that thought crossed my mind at the time-but rather just to run to the store. I was asleep when she left. I woke up to find the house completely empty and to add to my horror, it was getting dark outside. When she got home she found me sitting in a corner in the fetal position and screaming crying hysterically. That was only last year at the age of sixteen. After that, she knew better than to leave me alone.
The second time she left me alone was when I stayed home from school one day due to a migraine. She was running late for work and dad wasn't home early like he said he'd be. Being in the rushed state that she was, she forgot that I was upstairs in bed. I heard the car pull out, but couldn't believe it. I looked out the window and was stunned to see my mom actually leaving. Even with the painful migraine, a long scream left my mouth along with, what seemed like, buckets of vomit. Eventually the pain overtook me and I passed out. Dad found me lying in a pool of my own vomit.
The feeling of abandonment burned inside of me when left alone those two times. You have no idea what it's like to know that you're different. Being gay is nothing compared to being mentally challenged. I hope there are people out there that realize being gay is like boiling water compared to being slow. My parents have given up a lot to provide me with what I have today. Those times when I was alone I thought that they had finally given up on me. That my life was finally too much for them to handle anymore. But then when I saw them again it was like all the pain just went away. The insecurity of being abandoned vanished. And I was happy once more.
"Hey, there," Brandon said, surprising me out of my thoughts. "Told you I'd surprise you."
"H-how did you know I-I was i-in here?" I asked him, still surprised that he knew where I was.
"Well, I've seen you walking from here before so I just kind of guessed." Brandon smiled. It was an infectious smile because soon I had a grin of my own.
"W-w-well, you definitely s-surprised me."
Brandon took a seat across from me. The café in the morning wasn't too crowded with students. Usually there are maybe thirty kids buying food, but otherwise everyone hangs out with their friends outside in the quad area. "What classes do you have today?"
"B-biology and English," I replied meekly. Having him around me was making me nervous for some reason. "W-w-what about y-you?"
"I have psych and environmental sci," Brandon stared me in the eyes and smiled. "You are so cute."
I looked around to see if anyone was around us, and of course no one was. So, feeling a sudden wave of boldness, I rubbed one of my feet against one of his. He smiled even wider and winked. We started to talk about our plans for the weekend. Obviously, there were no plans for me. Brandon said that he planned to hang out with me if I wanted to. He mentioned something about having a Jacuzzi and that we could sit in it. Apparently, his parents won't be home and he was allowed to have whoever he wants over.
"A-a-are you sure your p-parents won't m-mind?"
"Trust me, Danny, they definitely won't mind. I used to have company over all the time back at my old house. Most of the time my parents weren't there either."
Hanging out with Brandon is one thing, but sitting shirtless with him is something entirely different. I'm so embarrassed to be seen without clothes on by anyone, not that I'm seen naked on a regular basis anyways. But this is Brandon I'm talking about here. I don't want to freak out if he sees me without a shirt on, which he definitely will if I do decide to go. What if I scare him off by doing or saying something stupid? The one real friend I've ever had could possibly slip right through my fingers. And here's another negative thought. Say I reject his invite to go over to his house, that right there could be a friendship breaker. So, either I say yes and possibly freak out resulting in a loss of our friendship or I say no and still possibly ruin things. There's only one thing to do...
"O-okay, but c-can you take me h-h-home after school t-tomorrow to get m-my swimsuit?" I seem to be getting more of a risk taker being around him. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.
Brandon's face lit up like a little kid's on Christmas morning. "Awesome!"
The bell rang and the two of us split up to go our separate ways. What am I getting myself into?
Fuck my life. I'm having those unsure feelings about Danny again. We're so close that a relationship is bound to happen any day now. Well, maybe we're not that close, but the point is that a relationship is in the very near future. Danny is such a great guy. The problem is that he's a complicated guy as well. What if I can't handle him? The stuttering is kind of cute now, but what's it gonna be like in a month? Let's say that we become official tomorrow. What if by after the first week I don't feel anything anymore and want to stop dating him? The result of the break up would leave Danny devastated I'm sure. And I definitely don't want to hurt him. Something inside of me just won't let me be happy with him.
"Dude, pay attention," James said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I was asking if you have any advice for me about my girlfriend. She has been so distant lately and I'm really starting to think she's cheating."
"Probably because you're an asshole," I thought to myself. "Um, why not come straight out and ask her?"
"Because if I accuse her of cheating on me without proof she'll probably flip out and destroy my rep." James said dejectedly.
"You seem sure of yourself,"
"Have you not seen my girlfriend? She's a cheerleader. Everything about her screams..."
"James," Mrs. Dern called out. "Why don't you and Brandon take your conversation outside, huh?"
"Really?" James asked, hopefully.
"No, now shut up and pay attention." she sarcastically shot back. The class laughed lightly at his misfortune.
Psychology was pretty fun. Today we had to make a model of the brain using an orange and various types of candy. James and I worked together and managed to receive a B on our brain. Mrs. Dern really is a cool teacher. I've noticed this week she's been a little on edge, though. From the looks of her stomach, I think I might know why as will everyone in a few months give or take a couple weeks.
Environmental science was pretty cool, too. Mr. O'Neil had the class do the lab we went over previously in the week. It wasn't an exciting lab so to speak, but what made it fun was the people that partnered with me. Even though I'm gay, I can still appreciate the girls. And the girls love me. Ironic isn't it?
Danny met me by the bike racks again after fourth period ended. He was all smiles as I approached him. Only a few feet away was Mrs. Turner waiting in the car, eyeing us suspiciously.
"How were your classes?" I asked him.
"Th-they were o-okay," he replied quietly, but with the same cute grin as he had this morning.
"No one gave you any problems?" There's something else I'm confused about: my protective side. My brain keeps saying I'm not ready for Danny, yet I've never lost the feeling of protectiveness for him. Maybe being protective is more of a heart issue.
"N-nope," He shot me a weird look. "I-I have to g-go, though. C-can I call y-you later?"
"Am I not coming over so we can study?"
"O-oh, well, I w-w-wasn't sure if y-you want to or n-not." Danny said shyly, avoiding my eyes, actually my entire face, completely. "I'll h-have to ask my m-mom."
"I'll ask her," I walked right passed Danny and up to Mrs. Turner's car. She rolled her window down and flashed me one of her fake smiles. "Hi, Mrs. Turner, you look extra pretty today."
"Thank you, Brandon," she replied nicely.
"Would it be all right if I came over so Danny can help me some more in Government?"
"Sure, that would be fine."
"Cool, thanks, Mrs. Turner." I walked away from her with more than studying on my mind. "She said I can come over. I'll meet you at your house, okay?"
Danny's little grin transformed into this huge smile. "A-a-all right!" He ran to his mom's car and hopped in. I chuckled to myself at his expense.
They obviously beat me home considering they got a thirty second head start. I knocked on the door, not wanting to just barge in even though I'm expected. Danny quickly flung the door open and pulled me inside. He dragged me up to his room, locking the door behind us. Before I could even take my backpack off, Danny had his lips pressed against mine. There's no uncertainty in my mind right now. His lips feel so damn good. How could I deny myself the pleasure of his kiss?
"Looks like someone missed me," I giggled.
Danny took a step back with a sheepish look on his face. "S-s-sorry,"
"Well, are we going to study?" Now that's a first. Usually I'm the last person to actually suggest studying over kissing.
The two of us started with our separate science classes. Mr. O'Neil is a really cool guy. The homework he gives isn't strenuous and it is worth a lot of points. Besides, the only homework I have left for the week is to finish some of the lab questions. Once we were done with science, we worked on English. My essay needs to be put into final draft form for tomorrow when the teacher collects it, but I'll need my own computer for that. While Danny was working, I went into the kitchen to get us something to drink.
Mrs. Turner was making dinner for the night when I stepped into the kitchen. "Mmm, smells good," I commented.
"Thanks, Brandon," she replied rather curtly.
"Would it be all right if I grabbed a couple cans of soda for us?"
Without even looking at me she said, "Sure, you know where they're at."
I grabbed two cans, then fled back up to Danny's room. I don't know what her problem is, but I hope she soon takes the stick out of her ass. Danny was playing with Reno when I walked back in. He looked so adorable and so happy doing something so simple. Simple. Now there's something I didn't think I'd be saying about Danny anytime soon. Maybe he is as simple as it gets and I'm just making excuses to not move forward.
"H-h-hey," he said happily, as if I just arrived at all.
"Hi," I giggled.
"W-want to go p-p-play with Reno out back?"
"Yeah, let's go,"
Reno is a very playful dog. Combine that with his high energy and games of fetch aren't quite as short as they normally could be. After several games, Brandon lied down on the grass and watched us play around. Reno had a tight lock on his tennis ball, but I managed to wrestle it out of his mouth and threw it across the lawn. Either Reno missed the fact that Brandon was lying on the grass or he just didn't care. The ball flew over Brandon, but Reno ran right over him. Brandon clutched at his stomach and rolled away from me. I could see him shaking, possibly from the pain.
I ran up to him and kneeled at his side. "B-B-B-B-Brandon, are yyyyyou okay?" He didn't answer me. "B-B-B-Brandon!" He finally rolled over and what I saw was surprising. Instead of crying or groaning in pain, Brandon was laughing. He was laughing at his pain. "A-are you all r-r-right?"
"Your dog is..." Brandon couldn't finish because of his laughter. "He's crazy!" He busted out laughing again. Laughter is contagious, and with Brandon convulsing with laughter himself, I just couldn't stop myself from laughing hysterically as well.
Brandon and I lied on the ground next to each other and stared at the passing clouds. The warmth coming off of his body was creating a soothing effect on me. April isn't the warmest month around here, so the closeness of our bodies was nice.
"Danny, it's time for dinner." dad said through the kitchen window. "Brandon can stay if he wants to."
"Thanks, Mr. Turner!" Brandon shouted back.
For dinner, mom made the best baked salmon I think she's ever made. Not everyone likes fish, though. Brandon seemed to just kind of pick at his filet. Dad noticed and asked if he'd like something else for dinner. Of course, Brandon was way too polite to put anyone through that kind of trouble. He refused and said it was fine, that he wasn't very hungry anyways. So, without any hesitation, I grabbed his plate and forked the filet onto my plate. Brandon chuckled softly before taking the plate back and finishing the rice.
After dinner, Brandon and I went back into my room and got caught up in a tight lip lock. The taste of fish repelled him, though, and our kissing didn't last that long. He packed his things up and said he had to be going soon.
"Boys, do you want some ice cream?" mom said through the intercom.
Brandon shook his head no, but I felt like some. "Y-y-yeah, mom, but Brandon is l-leaving soon s-so I'll be down in a m-m-minute." I said into the speaker. I sat on my bed and sighed. "Do y-you have t-to go?"
"Yes," Brandon laughed, sitting down next to me. "But don't worry. We have all tomorrow night to hang out. And Saturday. Oh, and don't forget Sunday!"
I laughed at his silliness. "C-can't wait," I hesitated before bringing a different topic up. "H-h-have you thought a-anymore about being b-b-boyfriends?"
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I'm close to being ready, but I just need a little bit more time, okay?" When he said that, I know my expression saddened slightly. "Aww, Danny, don't worry. It's not you that I'm unsure about. Even though I seem simple, I'm a complex person on the inside and my emotions right now are all jumbled up. I really do like you, a lot actually. But I don't want to jump into something and it not work out. If you get hurt, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself."
His words touched my heart. Every single day I've found myself falling more and more for him, but what does that all mean? All of this stuff is so new to me. And not just the gay thing. The relationship thing has never been breached with me before. Are gay relationships any different than a guy and a girl? The internet would be a great place to look, but again I'm terrified of typing that stuff in.
The possibility of being boyfriends with Brandon is a scary thought. Not because I don't like him or anything-obviously I do-but it's the fact that this is my first true relationship of any kind. Friendships have been mega rare in my life. An actual relationship was definitely out of the picture, too. But now here's Brandon who has changed all that. He says he's not ready yet. How do I know I'm ready? I just admitted that I know nothing about relationships yet here I am wanting to be with Brandon. Maybe I'm not even gay...
"Y-y-you'll tell me when you're r-ready, right?"
"You know, we did only agree to get to know each other more yesterday. Shouldn't we be doing more of that?" I giggled at his correctness. "But yes, I will tell you when I'm ready. And like I said it could be soon."
"I-I really d-do hope it's s-soon."
"Well, I need to get going. I'll see you in the morning, all right? Oh, we have to turn our project in tomorrow." Brandon said, standing up from the bed.
I walked him out to his truck just like last night. We even shared a few kisses again before he eventually drove away. Tomorrow night we're supposed to hang out at his house and go in his Jacuzzi, but I'm still really skeptical about that. The fact that I'll be shirtless in front of him scares the heck out of me. I am so easily embarrassed it's pathetic. What if I break down in front of him? Oh, God, I don't think I could handle that. He would probably want to not be around me anymore if I freak out tomorrow night.
Life can be so complicated. One minute can be all fun and games, but then the next can be filled with confusion and pain. My life in particular is very complicated. I wish I wasn't stupid.
Hope you all like chapter four. Feel free to write me at my e-mail address that's given atop every chapter. Also feel free to join my group: Shades of Wisteria. Oh, and don't forget about my instant messaging screen names! And don't worry about bugging me because you WON'T.
I published Beautiful Lie! You can purchase it by following this link: Bobby's Storefront. It's exciting to have another one of my stories created into a book. If you do decide to purchase it, then I really hope you enjoy it. Speaking of purchasing, you must purchase the book in order to read the entire story. But (and I mean a big but!) if you cannot purchase the book for any reason and would like to read the entire story, then please contact me. Exceptions can and will be made for you. And please don't feel embarrassed if you can't buy it. I have had many hard times in my eighteen-and-a-half-year-old life. Thanks ahead of time!