FOREVER MY LOVE
This story is completely fictional. Any similarities to any persons or events, past or present are purely coincidental. This story may contain scenes which involve sexual situations between young males. If this type of material is offensive to you, or it is not legal for you to be reading this type of material, please do not read any further. This story is copyright © 2006 by Jason. Please do not copy this story for distribution or post on any online server without the author's permission. Please send all your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org, or email@example.com You can also visit my site at: www.geocities.com/jasonfinigan. Thanks and enjoy the story.
I was so happy to be sitting in a chair. Walking into the kitchen and seeing my mother kissing Jon's mother was one thing, learning about everything else, that was something else entirely. I honestly didn't know what to say. A lot of things went through my mind upon hearing my mother tell me that she was a lesbian. How long did she know? Did she ever find someone else before Jon's mother? There was one question I had to know the answer to right away though.
"Mom," I started, looking at her as she was about to take a sip from her mug causing her to stop mid way. "Do you love Jon's mom?" I asked her.
My mother looked at me, then at Jon's mother. Jon's mother looked like she was going to pass out from the shock, but my mother simply smiled at her causing Jon's mother to smile back shyly. "Yes dear," she answered. "I do love her. Sarah is so sweet and caring. I think I started to fall in love with her that first day we talked on the phone."
As soon as my mother admitted her love for Jon's mother, I could see a tear running down Jon's mother's face. My mother was up again and putting her arms around Jon's mother, holding her close. Jon's mother seemed to melt into my mother's side, her head resting on my mother's shoulder and a smile forming on her face. This whole time she hadn't said a word, neither had Jon for that matter, and I looked at him. I admit, I was surprised to see tears falling from his eyes too. My attention immediately shifted from our mothers to Jon.
"Baby are you okay?" I asked him.
Wiping his tears away with the back of his hand, he smiled and looked at me. "Yeah babe, I'm more than okay. I'm really happy." Then Jon turned his gaze on his mother. "Mom, I've known for a while that you weren't attracted to guys. I've been so sad for you because I knew that ever since dad left you, you've never been truly happy."
"H...how?" Jon's mother stammered.
"Mom, you really need to remember to close your Internet Explorer when you are done with the internet," Jon told her with a grin on his face. I had never seen someone blush so fast or as intensely as I saw Jon's mother. If it wasn't for the fact that she was already being held there by my mother, I'm certain that she would have tried to hide herself some way.
At that moment my father decided to speak up. "Excuse me; I'm thinking that Jason, Jon, and myself should take a trip to the hospital to see Paul while you two are talk things over.
"But Dad...." I started to object, which my father stopped by holding up his hand.
"No buts Son. Both of you get your jackets and shoes on, and I'll meet you at the car." The tone my father used when he said this told me it would be useless to argue with him. Jon and I finished our drinks, and put the glasses in the dishwasher then gave our mothers a big hug. Letting our mothers go, we rushed to the front hall to put our jackets and shoes on as my father had instructed. Not much was said, but I could tell that Jon was thinking hard about things. Finally dressed, we headed out the door and climbed into the back of the car which my father had already started. He waited for Jon and me to do up our seatbelts before pulling out of the driveway.
The drive to the hospital gave me the perfect opportunity to ask a few questions that were on my mind. "Dad, Mom said you knew that she is a lesbian. How?" I asked.
"I won't go into details Son, but we had been dating for a few months before I found out. We both had keys to each other's homes, and after finishing work one day, I decided I wanted to surprise her by showing up at her door. As it turns out, I was the one to get the surprise. I had gone to a flower shop prior to driving to her home, and picked up some of her favorite flowers. I didn't park the car in her driveway as my car at the time was quite noisy and she would have known it was me. I decided to park the car a couple blocks down the road and walk to her house. Taking the flowers with me I made my way to her front door, unlocked it, and crept inside.
"I knew that she was probably upstairs watching television in bed as she always did at this time in the afternoon. Slowly, I made my way up the stairs to her bedroom, and as I got nearer to her partially closed door I could hear the unmistakable sound of voices. There were other sounds as well, and when I peeked into the room, I received a shock. There on the bed was your mother with another woman, engaged in some very passionate love making. So shocked was I, that I could do nothing but stand there watching as they made love on her bed.
"I don't know how long I stood there, nor how I ended up outside her home, most likely because of the shock, but it wore off fairly quickly, and that's when I could feel a deep sense of loss well up inside me. I'm not ashamed to admit that by this time, I was crying. What I saw hurt me so much. I dropped the flowers that I had bought for her and just sat there on her porch crying. Eventually, I managed to compose myself enough to be able to walk back to my car.
"Thankfully, I didn't live too far away and I made it to my house where I got out of the car, went inside, and headed up to my bedroom where I collapsed on the bed and cried some more. I couldn't get out of my mind the sight of seeing her with another woman. You see I loved her very, very much Son. In my heart I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Seeing what I saw hurt me like I have never been hurt before, as if a part of me was torn away from me." Both Jon and I were in tears, holding each other's hands as my father told us his story. I couldn't help but feel the pain my father must have felt when he saw what he did.
"Back at her house, her lover left and your mother saw the flowers that I had bought lying on the porch. Well, she knew then that I had been there and had seen her with her lover. She tried to see me that day but I couldn't talk to her. Every time I looked at her, the sadness welled up inside me again. It took me a long while to calm down enough to be able to confront her about this."
"I think it was a week later that your mother finally managed to talk to me. I was at a Tim Horton's one morning, having some coffee and a donut. The place was fairly empty, and I was seated at one of the corner booths reading a newspaper. She had walked into the place and saw me sitting there. If there is one thing about your mother that I have always admired, it is her tenacity. She never gives up when she wants something." I saw my father smile at that, pausing his narration for a few seconds.
"Anyway, she called my name, and I was startled by the unexpectedness of her voice, almost dropping my coffee which I had just taken a sip of. Putting down my paper, I looked up at her. I could see that she was struggling with what to say, and despite my unwillingness to talk to her, offered her a seat across from me. She sat down and looked at me; I'm guessing building up the nerve to say something, and then, she just blurted it out."
"It was a long confession about how she loved me, but didn't love me, and how confused she was about what she was feeling. She was very upset. I still loved her, which is why it hurt so much to see her that way. I held her hand to try to calm her down, which did seem to help. I felt so sorry for what she must have been going through. I could see in her eyes that she did love me, but now I could see that love for what it really was. It was a love born out of friendship, but was so much stronger than that, she saw me as a brother."
"Yes Son, I love your mother very, very much. Even though the love I have for her cannot be returned by her in the same way, I will never stop loving her. Even if she finds a special person in her life, I will love her still."
"How we came to having you was very special. It is a night that neither your mother nor I will ever forget. Your mother was still with her lover, having been introduced to one another a short time after she confronted me. A three way relationship was formed, with all of us becoming very good friends, and no Son, it wasn't sexual, if that's what you were thinking." I blushed then, as I was indeed thinking along those lines. Jon had obviously also been thinking along those lines as he too was blushing.
I don't know how it happened, but a few months later your mother's lover, whose name was Pam, began to drift apart from us. We later found out that she had found someone else and that they were very much in love with one another. Had it not been for our good friendship, I'm certain your mother would not have been able to cope with that loss as well as she did. As it was, she was upset over it for a couple days, and I was always there to hold her to let her know that everything would be okay."
"For the first time in months, we made love to each other. Despite the fact that your mother is a lesbian, I think the love we shared that night was so strong that it transcended the male and female barrier. That night, we were so close that it felt that nothing in the world could separate us. There was no thought of using protection; we simply lay there in bed, making love. Your mother, I think, knew that she was fertile then, but did nothing to prevent your conception. Nine months later, you were born, and two months after that your mother and I got married."
"I always knew that one day she would find someone she would fall in love with, and I was fine with that. What your mother and I share is very special, and nothing will ever take that away from us."
"Now you know Son. I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did, but now that it is out in the open, I need to know how you feel about everything. You too Jon, as it's your mother Jason's mother has fallen in love with," my father finished.
"Dad, I love you and Mom very much. I'm just afraid that if Mom and Jon's mom get together that you two won't be together anymore," I said.
"Jay's right," Jon said. "I want my mom to be happy, but I wouldn't want your family to break up because of their love for each other. That wouldn't be fair."
"I had a feeling that's what you would say. The two of you are really special boys. You have a lot of love in your hearts and you always think of others before yourselves. We all love you two because of that. I don't know what the future has in store for us, but I promise you that together we'll work things out so that everyone can be happy. Okay?" he told us.
I wasn't too certain how things could be made to work out, but I trusted my parents and I nodded my head to let him know that I understood what he was telling me. Jon too nodded his head, but like me he wasn't sure.
By this time we had reached the hospital. Pulling into the parking lot, my father found an empty space close to the entrance, and parked the car. Getting out of the car, we made our way across the parking lot and walked into the hospital. It was busy inside as usual, with doctors and nurses hurriedly making their rounds. The main reception area was very busy as well, with a line of people waiting to be looked after. My father told us to find a seat in the waiting area while he inquired about visiting Paul.
After the events that unfolded in the kitchen that morning, I had almost completely forgotten about Paul. Immediately my attention shifted, and in my mind ran through all the events that led up to us finding Paul's body in the park. Despite all the pain he had caused me, I was surprised to find that the only feelings I had for him, were ones of sadness and compassion. Sad that someone could do something so brutal to him, and it made me want to do everything I could to help him, even if he didn't want it from me.
Jon and I must have been sitting in the waiting area for hours, or at least, that's what it felt like to me. I didn't have a watch on and I couldn't see a clock, so there was no way for me to tell how long we were waiting for.
Finally, my father approached us and directed us to follow him. Getting up from the chairs, which by this point had become really uncomfortable, we followed my father as he walked towards a nurse.
"Doctor Gerard figured you would be here to see Paul this morning. He's agreed to let you see him today; however, there have been some complications. He wants to see you in his office first before you go in to see Paul. Please follow me," he said. We walked down a corridor, stopping at a large wooden door, Doctor Gerard's name printed on a name plate on the door. The nurse knocked on the door, and we heard a voice from within the room call for us to come in, which we then did.
"Come in, come in," Doctor Gerard said as we entered the room, getting up from behind his desk. He walked around it and offered his hand to my father which he accepted. I reached out my hand to him, which he accepted immediately and shook. He had a very nice, warm, firm grip, and I smiled up at him. I didn't like hospitals much, but I knew that I liked Doctor Gerard. Jon obviously had the same impression with him as he shook his hand. "Now, I take it you are here to see Paul today," he said.
"Yes we are," I replied.
"Well, I'm going to let you see him, but there were some complications last night. Shortly after you left, Paul began to wake up. To say that he wasn't happy to be in a hospital bed would be putting it mildly. If it wasn't for the casts, I'm sure he would have been out of that bed in a shot. As it was, it took two nurses to restrain him. The doctor on call last night was called in to give Paul a sedative. The doctor had barely arrived when Paul immediately broke into sobs, and curled into a fetal position. Psychiatric was then called while the doctor administered the sedative. However, when the psychiatrist arrived to talk to Paul, he would only lay there staring at a wall, shaking slightly, and not saying a word."
"Jesus!" I exclaimed.
"Jason!" my father scolded.
"That's okay," Doctor Gerard laughed. "I said the exact same thing when I came in this morning and was told of the events I just told you about. Now, the reason I'm going to let you see him now, and normally I wouldn't, is because you are not only classmates of his, but also because of something that I heard you say to Paul yesterday. Despite the pain he had caused you, you were able to forgive him, and not only that, you made a promise to be there for him. I was surprised to see someone as young as you able to show such compassion and love for someone despite the pain that that person might have caused. It's a rare thing to find these days. I guess I'm hoping that with your help, we can find out what happened to Paul. Are you willing to try?" he asked me.
I was flabbergasted that he would ask something of me like this, but of course I agreed readily. "Jon," I said, turning to him. "You'll be with me when I do?" I asked.
"Of course babe," he answered, holding my hand. "We'll help Paul together."
"You two make me very proud of you," my father said.
"Alright, shall we go in to see Paul then?" Doctor Gerard asked, to which Jon and I both nodded our heads.
Doctor Gerard walked to the door of his office and held it open for us. He then led us down the hall and into a large room, outside of which was a police officer, which I assumed was the officer that was there to guard Paul. Inside the room were several beds, some of them occupied by other patients. Each bed was separated from the others by a large curtain. Paul's bed was located at the far end of the room next to a large window. We approached the bed and could see that Paul was staring out the window. I couldn't even tell if he knew we were standing there at the foot of his bed.
"I'm going to leave the two of you alone with Paul. If you have any problems, press the red button beside the bed and a nurse will be with you right away." With that, Doctor Gerard left the room along with my father, leaving Jon and I alone with Paul, who was still looking out the window.
I walked to the side of his bed and sat down in the chair that was there. For the next five minutes I just sat there staring at Paul. I didn't know what to say to him. After five minutes of staring at him, I could see his eyes occasionally move to look at me. Back and forth his eyes went, switching from staring out the window to looking at me.
Finally he turned his head to look at me. "What the hell are you doing here you little faggot?" he yelled at me.
I was briefly taken aback by his sudden outburst. I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't too surprising that I would get that type of response with the attitude he had towards me. I could see that already, Jon was getting mad, but thankfully he was keeping it under control. Instead it was me that laid into him.
"Listen Paul, don't you give me any of that garbage. I've put up with enough of your shit over the years and it's going to stop. You may not like me, and I may not like you, but like it or not, it was Jon and I who found you and got you the help you needed. If it wasn't for us, you'd probably be dead by now."
I couldn't explain well enough the look of shock and surprise that was on his face after I finished with him. The anger that was in his eyes earlier was gone, and I could see it was replaced by uncertainty and fear. Surely he can't be afraid of me, I thought to myself. He turned away from me again, but not before I saw that tears were beginning to form in his eyes.
"Look Paul," I said in a soothing voice, "we didn't come here to fight with you. We came here to help. You might not believe this, but Jon and I don't hate you. You hurt me, in ways that I have never been hurt before, and if it wasn't for my parents and Jon and his mother, I don't know what I would have done. I want you to know that I have forgiven you. I saw what happened to you Paul. No matter what you did to me, no one should go through what you must have suffered. I want to help you. Jon wants to help too, if you'll let us."
He lay there, still facing away from us, except now, I could see his body begin to shake slightly. Tentatively reaching out with my hand, I touched his shoulder lightly. He stiffened slightly at my touch, but didn't try to move away from me. His body was suddenly wracked by long sobs, his left hand reaching up to hold mine, openly crying and holding onto my hand tightly.
He lay like that for what must have been about fifteen minutes as he cried. I made no move to hold him, and neither did Jon, but I allowed my hand to remain on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly as he held it. Eventually, his crying stopped and he rolled over to face me.
"How can you want to help me after what I did to you? I don't deserve it," he said softly. The change in his voice was dramatic. Gone was the arrogant and hard-nosed bully I had known since the fifth grade, and instead, I could see a genuinely scared and lonely young man.
"Because, I care Paul. All I ever wanted was to be your friend. I still do. I need to understand why you did what you did to me though."
"You wouldn't understand Jason. No one does."
"We'd like to be given the chance to, Paul," Jon spoke up. "I'm new around here, and in the time I have known you, you have been belligerent and mean to Jason. What did he do to you to deserve how you treated him?"
Paul looked at Jon, and I could see he was genuinely afraid of Jon. "Paul, let us help you. Please tell us. I promise we aren't going to judge you, we just want to understand."
"Yeah right," Paul frowned, letting my hand go and moving away from me slightly. "Fine. You want to know. I'll tell you." The old defiance in him was back, but I could also tell that he really wanted to tell someone. Obviously whatever it was really bothered him, and had for a long time.
"When I was two years old, my father took me from my mother and brother, and moved here. He kept telling me how my mother was no good and was nothing but a slut who would open her legs for anyone who was interested in her, man or woman. I couldn't remember my mother at all, but the way he described her made me sick, and I soon began to hate my mother for forcing us to move. Even so, sometimes I still think about her, wondering where she is, and whether or not she is okay.
"As I was growing up, my father started drinking. It wasn't much to begin with, but as time went on, his drinking got worse and worse. The problem was, where before he loved me and played with me and did all the things a father and son do; now he became very angry, and he always ended up taking that anger out on me. I never could understand why he did that, I still don't. Despite what happened, I love my father still, and it hurts that he doesn't love me anymore," Paul was crying a little by this time.
"Your dad did this to you, didn't he? He's the one that beat you up and dumped you in the park," I said. He simply nodded his head.
"Jason, I want you to know, I never hated you. I was scared to admit to myself how I felt though. At first we were friends, but I felt things differently about you and it scared me. Not because of what the other kids would say, but because of my father. My father had always been very vocal when it came to gay people. He hates them with a passion, and I could see things in you back then that my father had taught me were wrong. The problem was, I was feeling things that I hadn't felt before, and if my father ever found out I knew he would kill me."
"Jason, I wanted to be your friend. I always did. Please don't hate me, I was just so scared!" he cried.
"It's okay Paul. We aren't going anywhere. I told you, I do forgive you. I can't imagine what it was like for you. I'm so sorry Paul," I told him.
"Jason, the reason I did what I did to you was because I realized that I was gay, and that I was falling in love with you."
Jon and I were stunned by what Paul had just confessed. There was no way that we could have been prepared for what he told us, myself especially. My mind was reeling, there was no way I could have expected that Paul would tell me that he was gay and that he had fallen in love with me all those years ago. My thoughts were interrupted however, by a large commotion outside the room.
"Sir, you can't go in there," said a voice, which I assumed was the police officer still standing guard. I had forgotten about him, my attention focused entirely on Paul.
"Just watch me pig. That's my son in there, and I'm going to see him," said a voice which I could immediately tell belonged to Paul's father.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you in."
"Just try and stop me," Paul's father said.
I had heard enough, and I walked quickly to the door to the room where I saw the police officer blocking Paul's father's path. Jon followed right behind me, and I could see he was worried.
"You!" he screamed upon seeing Jon and I standing there. "You two little faggots are the cause of all this shit!"
"No you are," I yelled back at him. "Paul just told us that it was you that beat him up, raped him, and dumped him in the park. Officer, there's the man responsible for Paul's condition right now."
The police officer looked at me briefly, and then turned his attention back on Paul's father. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put your hands behind your back and turn around."
"He's lying, the little shit! You going to believe some fucking faggot?" he yelled.
"Sir, I am placing you under arrest. Get your hands behind your back, and turn around. Now!" the police officer ordered, pulling out his taser.
Paul's father moved so fast I thought the officer wouldn't have been able to stop him, as he charged towards me with his fists raised to strike me. Paul's father obviously underestimated the police officer as the officer fired his taser. Two probes shot out from the taser striking Paul's father in the chest. I could see him suddenly stop dead in his tracks, his body being attacked by the electricity. Within seconds, Paul's father was on the ground, jerking from the effects of the taser.
"Boys stand back," he told Jon and I. "Are you okay?" Both of us nodded, and he slowly approached Paul's father. He was on the ground, breathing heavily and obviously still in pain due to the taser. The officer detached the taser and carefully rolled him over onto his stomach, quickly grabbing his arms, and then placing them behind his back and securing his hands together with the hand cuffs. Then, pressing a button on his radio which was attached to his left shoulder, he called for backup.
About this time, I saw Doctor Gerard and my father rushing towards us. Ignoring the officer and Paul's father, who was still on the ground, he gathered Jon and I into his arms and held us close.
"Are you two okay?" he asked us.
"We're fine dad," I told him. "And now, so is Paul."
From down the hall we heard two more sets of footsteps. Looking past my father, I could see my mother and Jon's mother walking towards us, holding each other's hands. Seeing the situation in front of them, they quickened their pace, letting go of each other's hands and gathered us into their arms, my mother with me, and Jon's mother with him.
"Oh my God, baby. Are you okay?" Jon's mother asked Jon.
"Yeah, I'm fine Mom. But this is the guy that attacked Paul and put him in the hospital. I don't think he's going to get to hurt anyone again."
The officer, by this time, had pulled Paul's father up from off the floor, and had him seated in one of the chairs just outside the room. Jon's mother took one look at the man, and a look of shock appeared on her face.
"Oh my God! Jim?" Jon's mother gasped.
"Mom? Do you know this guy?" Jon asked his mother.
"Yes Son. I do. He's your father."
Ah, nothing like some more revelations. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank several readers for their comments and support. In no particular order they are, Kayden, Sam, Paul, Chris, Mark, Real, Austin, Jim, Donna, Robert, Randall, and Lloyd. Keep on sending me those comments. You can reach me at: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com