FOREVER MY LOVE
Before I begin, I have an announcement I would like to make. In March of this year I will be marrying the most wonderful man I have ever met. He was there for me during a time when I was confused and hurting and he refused to let me give up. So, to Tim, I say thank you for your love, your friendship, and your warm and caring spirit. I love you baby, forever and for always.
This story is completely fictional. Any similarities to any persons or events, past or present are purely coincidental. This story may contain scenes which involve sexual situations between young males. If this type of material is offensive to you, or it is not legal for you to be reading this type of material, please do not read any further. This story is copyright © 2007 by Jason. Please do not copy this story for distribution or post on any online server without the author's permission. Please send all your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org, or email@example.com You can also visit my site at: www.geocities.com/jasonfinigan. Thanks and enjoy the story.
I don't think there was a single person in that hallway that wasn't in a state of shock. Well, except for maybe the officer who was standing over a subdued Jim Hayes, Paul's father, and apparently my Jon's as well. Jon was the most confused, he kept looking back and forth between his mother and Jim Hayes.
"But..." Jon started. He was not handling this revelation very well I saw, and put my arm around his shoulders and pressed up close to him, reassuring him as best I could with my presence. "Mom, you told me..." he tried again. Tears were beginning to fall from his eyes, the hurt and confusion taking its toll on him. It hurt to see him like this, and I didn't know what I could to do to help him which made it worse. He was holding me now; clinging on to the one thing he knew he had, our love for each other. I held him back, pulling him into a hug and rubbing his back as he began to sob.
Jon's mother walked to her son, looked at me, and I saw in her eyes as much pain as I saw in Jon's. I knew what it was she wanted, but I didn't want to let go of him. He needed me. At the same time I knew that this was something that he and his mother had to deal with. Jon's mother was still looking at me, her arms slightly outstretched wanting to hold her son. Relaxing my hold on Jon, I gently pushed him off of me, his reluctance to let me go making it difficult. He looked at me, tears streaking down his eyes, wondering why I pushed him away. I smiled at him and nodded my head in his mother's direction. Turning his head, he saw his mother standing there, her arms begging to hold him and her eyes already wet with tears which were beginning to fall.
Jon launched into his mother's arms, which held him tight, rocking back and forth as they both stood there crying.
"Oh please!" snorted a loud voice from the side of the hall.
"Don't you 'Oh please' us, you bastard!" Jon's mother yelled back, looking right at Paul's father with daggers in her eyes. "I knew from the start that I should have had you arrested for what you did. I was stupid to let you get away with it, but I'm not going to let you ruin our two boy's lives. From what I can tell, you've done a wonderful job of filling our son with your hatred. Doesn't matter. He's no longer your problem anymore. He's my son, and I'm going to raise him like I should have in the beginning." The hostility and the anger in Jon's mother made me step back. Jon, was now looking up at his mother, still held protectively in her arms.
"Hah!" Jim exclaimed defiantly. "We'll see about that bitch. You slept with that whore and she deserved what happened to her. No judge would let a queer like you have custody of any child. So go ahead you slut. Just try it."
"You're an ignorant ass!" I yelled at him. Everyone's head turned toward me, open mouthed shock on each of their faces, even the officer's. "What do you know about us? All you are is a coward, afraid of what you don't understand. But you know what? Paul does. He's known all along, but he was scared of you. You couldn't allow him to be the person he was, instead making him who you wanted him to be. Well too bad! Now that you realized that he couldn't be changed, you raped him, and beat him, and left him for dead in the park. You are so sick!"
"Why you little shit!" Jim yelled, attempting to get out of his seat, but was restrained by the officer. It helped that his hands were handcuffed behind his back.
"I'm waiting in Paul's room," I announced to everyone. "Let me know when that useless bag of garbage is gone," I said, turning to walk to the room where Paul was. I didn't look back to see if Jon was with me, because I knew that he needed time with his mother. I was also more comfortable to be around Paul alone now than I was before, and there were several things that I needed to talk to him about.
"That's my father out there isn't it?" Paul said as he looked at me. He was pressed up against the far side of the bed, which thankfully had bars to prevent him from falling out of it.
Instead of sitting on the chair beside his bed, I got up onto the bed and sat next to him. "Yeah it is, and this whole thing just got way more complicated," I told him."
"Complicated, how?" he asked.
"I guess you'll find this out soon anyways, but it seems that you and my boyfriend have the same father." From the look on his face, I could tell that he was having a hard time digesting this information. "There's more. It would be easier to say that you had the same father but different mothers, but you and Jon have the same mother as well."
"What? How? No, that isn't possible. We're in the same grade at school; he's the same age as me."
"I don't know. I just know that both Jon's mother and your father seem sure about you two being brothers. They had a fight just a while ago, and I ended up blowing up at your father."
Paul's face crunched up with disgust. "He's not my father, he's a sperm donor. He will never be my father." I could hear the hate and anger in his voice, but at the same time I could tell he was longing for a family that he never had. I couldn't help but carefully wrap my arms around him and hug him. It took a second but I soon felt him return my hug, my shoulder getting wet as I felt the first of his tears leak from his eyes.
"Well, now there's something I never expected to see," a voice spoke.
I looked up, recognizing the voice, and smiled. "Hi Vivian. Ummm..." I tried.
Vivian just laughed. "Don't worry Jason. By now, I should know how big your heart is. The way you helped Paul told me all I needed to know. You do realize that this complicates things don't you?" she asked me.
I simply nodded my head. "Yeah, um, about that, I think we need to talk," I told her, looking back at Paul who was looking a little worried now because Vivian had entered the room in her full police uniform. "You saw Paul's father I take it." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.
"Yes, I saw him being taken out of the hospital as I was coming in. I met your parents, Jon, and his mother outside. But it was you I wanted to see, and Paul."
"Me?" Paul asked, nervousness and fear creeping into his voice as he withdrew from me slightly. I didn't let him go though, gently holding him reassuringly.
"Yes you," she answered sternly, though I didn't miss the slightest smile appear on her face. "I want to know how it is that an absolute terror and bully, as described by your fellow students, somehow changes to the person I see before me now." By now that hint of a smile was no longer a hint, and she wore it plainly for everyone to see.
I couldn't help but giggle at the way she was talking to Paul. It was like she was a big sister; all loving, but motherly. Poor Paul didn't know what to make of Vivian, and simply sat there. "Ummm," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
Vivian laughed out loud. "Don't worry Paul; I'm not here to give you a hard time. But we do need to talk."
"Okay," Paul said quietly, still not looking to sure about her.
"First off, we'll deal with what happened between you and Jason on Thursday." The moment she said this, Paul seemed to sink lower into his pillow, but I still held onto him, I wasn't going to let him go. "I want you to tell me what happened. And remember, you still have the right to remain silent as I advised you last night," she finished.
"No, I want to talk about it," Paul said, gathering his courage at last. "What I did was unforgivable, and disgusting. I hate myself for what I've done, not only for Thursday, but also for the last four years. I told Jay a little about me. I told him that I wanted to be his friend, but I also told him that I wanted to be more than his friend. I realized that I was falling in love with him. I realized that I was gay, and it scared me to death.
"My father is so homophobic that I was sure if he found out, he would kill me on the spot. I did everything I could to prove that I wasn't gay in my father's eyes. I became a bully, but it was always Jay that I picked on, no one else. On Thursday, I got jealous, so very jealous, because I realized that Jay was gay and that he had found a boyfriend. I was also mad at myself because I had a chance to be with him, and I blew it just to be safe from my father. I'm such a coward!" he cried, bringing his hands up to his face and sobbing. All I could do was rub his back and wait for him to calm down again, which after a few minutes he did.
"I don't think you are a coward Paul. It takes a strong mind to be able to resist that kind of abuse," Vivian told him. "I know you would rather not answer my next question but I have to ask it. On Thursday, did you attack Jason, force him to remove his pants, and make him touch himself?"
Wiping his tears from his face, Paul looked at me then bowed his head. "I was so angry that I couldn't have Jay... Yes, I did. I wish to God I didn't, but I did. I am so sorry Jay. I don't know how you could ever forgive me for doing that to you. I don't deserve it."
"Paul, look at me," I told him. I could see he didn't want to, but he did finally look up at me. "I told you before that I already forgive you for what you did. I don't see it as your fault, it's more your father's fault than anyone's. If he hadn't treated you the way he did, if he didn't make you so afraid of him, and if he didn't beat on you like he did, I know you never would have done the things you did to me. When you and I first got to know one another, we were friends, and we had a good time. I didn't understand why you changed all of a sudden, but now I do, and I could never blame you for any of it Paul. It's not who you are."
"Jay's right Paul," a voice I recognized immediately said from behind me. Standing there was Jon, his mother, and my parents. It was Jon who had spoken. "No one, after seeing how your father is, can say what you did was entirely your fault. None of us wants to see any more pain being caused because of something we can't help."
I got off the bed where I was sitting and went to Jon, giving him a brief hug and a kiss. "Did I mention how much I love you babe?" I asked him softly.
"Yes, but I like it when you do," he replied with a smile.
"I love you Jon."
"I love you too Jay," he said once again, pulling us into a hug.
"Yeah, but I still did what I did to you Jay," Paul interrupted from his bed. He still had a hard time looking up at me. "If I go to jail for this, then so be it. It's where I belong," he said sullenly.
"No Paul, you don't belong in Jail," Jon's mother surprised us by speaking up. "I know only too well how your father is and what he was capable of, and I let him take you. That was my mistake, so if anyone deserves to be punished, it's me."
"I don't understand," he said, looking very confused.
"Paul, I need to tell you something," Jon's mom told him, pulling up a chair to sit beside him, and grabbing his hand and holding it with both of hers. "Your father was arrested and taken to jail for what he did, but he should never have had the chance to raise you like he did. That was my fault. You see, your father and I used to be a couple, and during our relationship, I became pregnant and had two beautiful sons. Jon's my son Paul, but so are you."
"But that's impossible; you can't be my mother and Jon's mother. We're both the same age, in the same grade."
"Yes it is Son," she assured him, squeezing his hand gently. "You see, sometimes when a woman gets pregnant an egg becomes fertilized and splits into two separate growing fetuses. That's how identical twins are born. Sometimes, however, two eggs get fertilized inside the womb at the same time. That is how fraternal twins are born. You and Jon, are brothers Son, you are both my sons. You are fraternal twins. That's why you are the same age."
"I..." Paul choked up, tears forming again in his eyes. "...I really have a brother?" he said, looking at Jon, who was holding my hand.
"You do Son," she said.
"Mom?" Paul said, looking up at her.
"Yes, Son. I'm really your mother. Please forgive me for letting you go."
"Oh God, Mom!" Paul cried, sitting up fully and holding out his arms. His mother, without hesitation got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around her son, both of them crying on each other's shoulders.
While they held onto each other, I looked over at Vivian who, throughout all this, was standing off to the side and was now smiling at the sight before her. "Vivian, I have something I need to tell you."
"If it's what I think you are going to ask, I have to ask if you are sure."
"I am. I want you to drop the charges against Paul." That request froze everyone in the room, especially Paul and his new-found mother.
"What?" Paul asked, bewildered and looking up from his mother's shoulder at me.
"Paul I think you have already been punished. In fact I think you have been punished for most of your life. Putting you in jail makes no sense to me. It won't help you and it'll only make me feel bad. I don't want to hurt anyone."
"But what I did to you..." he tried.
"Isn't as important as finding you the help you need, and part of that, I think, can be found with Jon and your mother. What you need is love right now. You are my boyfriend's brother, and I want to see that you have a chance to be the person I know you can be," I said to him, forestalling his objection.
"Baby, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love you so much! You have the kindest heart I know," Jon told me and embraced me in a tight hug.
"Jon, why don't you come over here? I want you to meet your brother," his mother said.
Smiling the largest smile I had ever seen on his face, Jon released me from our hug and almost ran over to the bed, where he got up onto it and put his arms around both his mother and Paul. "Paul, I promise to be the best brother you could ever have," he said.
"You don't know how long I've wanted to have a real family. Now I find I have one, and have had one all along. I am so happy!" Paul said with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.
"Don't worry," Jon said smiling mischievously. "I would never let anything happen to my little brother."
"Hey wait a minute!" Paul exclaimed, pulling away from Jon and his mother. "Who are you calling little brother?"
This little exchanged had the effect of relieving the tension that had built up in the room, causing everyone to begin to chuckle knowingly at the playful banter that was about to take place.
"I am squirt," Jon replied.
"Hah! You're only saying that because I'm in a cast right now. Once I'm out of it, I'll show you who's really the little brother," Paul said, taking a playful swipe at Jon which Jon easily avoided.
"Mom! Would you tell him who was born first?" Jon pleaded with his mother, laughing slightly at Paul's futile attempts to land a punch on his arm.
"Oh I don't know Son, I kind of like to keep the mystery alive," she snickered with the rest of us, who by now were laughing hard, including Vivian. Jon and Paul's mother was trying to contain her laughter, but it wasn't possible for long, and like the rest of us, cracked up laughing. Eventually, we all settled down and she looked at her two sons, reunited at last. Paul, Jon, the two of you mean everything to me. I will never ever let anyone hurt either of you. Paul, I just hope you can forgive me for letting you go. I didn't want to do it.
"Mom, it doesn't matter," Paul said seriously. "I have you now and that's all that's important. Best of all, I have the family that I always wanted."
"I'm glad you feel that way son, I really do, but I should tell you what happened between your father and I all those years ago. Jon, you need to know what happened too. I owe it to the both of you." She sat back down in the seat, and let Jon and Paul share sitting on the bed together. I went to stand with my parents, who both put their hands on my shoulders.
"Almost fourteen years ago, shortly after the two of you were born, your father and I were happily together. He wasn't a drunk, though he did drink occasionally. He had a good job as a construction foreman, and I was working as a secretary for a consulting firm. It was good money and we were happy, though I had always felt something was missing. Jon, you know what that was, but Paul doesn't. I'll get to that in a bit.
"One day, he came home from work early, and I had a friend over. She was actually our next door neighbor, and she had come over for a coffee and to talk. I had just put the two of you in your crib for a nap. Yes as babies, you used to sleep together. Your father and I didn't know what to make of it. If you were together, you were so content, but if we separated you, you two became distressed.
"Well, something happened that day that I hadn't expected, though was always at the back of my mind since I was young. What started out as a simple get together soon turned into something much, much more. It started out as a simple brushing against each other, but then progressed to holding hands, and then she and I kissed for the first time. I can't explain how it felt but it was the most wonderful feeling I had ever felt. When I was with your father it almost seemed like a chore to make love to him, but with her, it was so natural.
"Yes Paul, I am a lesbian. I always have been, and always will be."
"Ummm, Mom," Paul interrupted. "Ummm, well, Jason and Jon already know this but, I admitted it to them already, and you might as well know. I'm gay, I was just too afraid of Dad to admit it to myself, even though I began to have feelings for Jay."
"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to live like that, you don't any longer though. I never want you to feel as if you have to live a lie. I want you to be happy."
"I love you mom," Paul almost cried.
"I love you too Son, I always have. Well I guess you can understand why your father and I separated. What I didn't count on was his coming home early and finding me and our neighbor in our bed naked and kissing one another. He flew into a rage and attacked our neighbor. She ran from our house clutching her clothes to her still naked body. Then he started in on me, shouting out a tirade of curses and insults the like I hadn't heard from him in all the time I had been with him. To add to the insults, he told me that he felt that one of our sons, you Jon, was going to grow up to be just like me. In his words, a faggot."
"He wasn't my father Mom," Jon said. "He was a sperm donor. I don't want to have anything to do with him at all."
"You're right about that Brother," Paul said. "I told Vivian and Jay the same thing. He's not my father."
"Well boys, the short of it was, he told me he was taking you Paul, and he was going to move as far away from me as he could so he could raise his son to be a real man, not a flaming fairy. I was not having any of that though, until he told me that if I fought him on this, he'd tell everyone at my work, and he'd call CPS and file for custody citing my homosexuality as a reason for my being an unfit mother. I was scared, and stupid, and I gave in without fighting for you Paul. For that I am so sorry," she cried.
Paul tried to get up to hold his mother, but the casts made that impossible. "Mom, I forgive you. I know how rotten my father is. I wish you did fight to keep me with you, but I understand how he made you feel. I'm just glad that we finally did get together."
"Me too Son," she said, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
"What's going to happen to me now?" Paul asked, looking at Vivian.
"Well, since Jason has opted to drop the charges against you, I have some paperwork to fill out that Jason and his parents have to sign. Once that is done, and once you are discharged from the hospital, you are free to go. I would caution you, though, to never ever think of doing something like that again."
"I won't, I promise," Paul replied meekly. Like I said before, Vivian knows how to act like a big sister and mother all rolled into one. "But where will I go? I can't go back home cause Dad's been arrested."
"Son, you don't have to go anywhere except home with us," Paul's mother told him.
"You mean that Mom?" he asked bewildered.
"Of course Son. You are my boy, and you belong with me until you are old enough to look out for yourself, and even then, you'll always have a home with me," she replied.
"Thank you Mom, thank you so much. I promise I'll be good for you."
"And I'll make sure you keep that promise little brother," Jon said
"Hah! You and what army little brother?" Paul demanded, a huge smile spreading across his face.
"Oh no, here we go again!" I laughed, followed by everyone else.
Awww, Sarah, Jon, and Paul finally together at last as a family. It took a while to get here, but there it is. Have no fear, I still have much to do on this story. Keep on sending me those comments. You can reach me at: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com