FOREVER MY LOVE
Before I begin, I have an announcement I would like to make. In March of this year I will be marrying the most wonderful man I have ever met. He was there for me during a time when I was confused and hurting and he refused to let me give up. So, to Tim, I say thank you for your love, your friendship, and your warm and caring spirit. I love you baby, forever and for always.
This story is completely fictional. Any similarities to any persons or events, past or present are purely coincidental. This story may contain scenes which involve sexual situations between young males. If this type of material is offensive to you, or it is not legal for you to be reading this type of material, please do not read any further. This story is copyright © 2007 by Jason. Please do not copy this story for distribution or post on any online server without the author's permission. Please send all your comments to: email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org You can also visit my site at: www.geocities.com/jasonfinigan. Thanks and enjoy the story.
It had been a week since Paul had been released from the hospital. The police had accompanied him to his old house to gather all his belongings that he wanted to take with him to his new home. Jon and I were there with him of course, as were my parents and Sarah, Jon and Paul's mother. We all helped him move things, except his bed and dresser, into Jon's house. Paul's new room was the spare room where my parents had slept the weekend before.
It's strange that a person who I feared through most of my school years suddenly became a person that I could consider a friend. Despite the love that my family has for each other, I knew that the next few weeks were going to be difficult for everyone.
With Jon, it was because he now had to get used to the fact that Paul is his brother, which is difficult enough without having to deal with the fact that Paul was also responsible for the torment that I had suffered all those years before. I only hoped that Jon could see Paul for the person he is now, and not judge him by his actions of the past. No matter what, I'll always be there for my Jon though.
Sarah, I know is still having trouble resolving her guilt over having allowed Paul's father to take him away from her. Chances are she'll be spending a lot of time with him now that he has come to live with her and Jon. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Paul, as I still have to live with my parents, even though I spend a lot of time at Jon's house, or he stays at my place. It's not the same as having all of us living under the same roof like we were that weekend.
Then there is my mother, Sarah, and my father. Since my mother and Sarah had come to accept their love for each other, they spent a lot more time together. I could tell it was hurting my father, even though he knew a long time ago that one day it would happen. I love my father very much, and it hurt to see him in this much pain. Even though he put on a brave smile, inside, I knew he was crying in pain.
Finally I knew that there was going to be the final confrontation with Paul and Jon's father, Jim Hayes. Now that he was finally in jail awaiting his first court appearance, I could see such a change in Paul's behavior and attitude. He became more relaxed and more outgoing, and yet, at the same time I could tell that he was really nervous about facing his father one last time. Certainly I couldn't blame him. He spent his whole life alone with a man so filled with anger and hatred in him, and it was all he could do not allow himself to become his father, despite his treatment of me.
Paul still wasn't comfortable being alone with us. No matter how much we tried to include him, there was always a part of him that held back. I figured it was because he felt guilty over how he treated me these past years, and even though I had forgiven him for that, and wanted to start over, he couldn't quite bring himself to being able to forgive himself. Most of the time he spent in his room listening to music on his stereo, or in front of the television watching a movie or show, and when he wasn't doing that, he spent as much time as he could with his mother, Sarah.
The two of them got along really well. She was almost like a relative who would come over and spoil him rotten. Obviously she was trying to make up for what she felt were her shortcomings as a mother, but to the rest of us, it was just too cute and we often teased her about it. Sarah would just take it and smile, saying that she was the same way with Jon. We knew differently, but didn't say anything about it.
Our families had become so close that we were able to come and go from each other's homes as we needed. We all had keys for both homes, and Jon and I regularly used them when we came home from school and our parents were working. That gave us a lot of time alone together. Time we didn't waste by watching the television or doing our homework, which we still managed to get done somehow.
Another school week was finished and once again Jon and I were alone in his room. Over the week, our love and passion had grown. It was all we could do to not display our affection for each other in public, or during school. Often times we ended up in either his room or mine, sitting on the bed locked in a passionate embrace, our lips pressed together. Despite our parents' acceptance of our love for each other, we never rubbed it in their faces, they taught us better than that.
Only the voice of Jon's mother calling us for dinner from the kitchen broke the spell we were under. Rushing out of the room, almost getting stuck in the doorway in our haste, we ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Sarah and my mother were already in it, working away getting the table set and the food ready for serving. Paul was slower to come down the stairs. He had been inside his room for most of the day, only coming out to eat and use the bathroom.
At that time, my father walked into the house. "I'm home everyone!" he called out, taking off his work shoes and jacket.
"Hi Dad," I said, running up to him and giving him a hug.
"Hi son," he responded, returning my hug with one of his own. "How was school today?"
"Cool!" I told him. "Jon and I spent lunch together in the cafeteria with a couple of his friends. One of them was a guy named Simon, who's in grade eleven. His boyfriend is moving down to Burlington in a couple weeks. They first met at a park up north, I can't remember which one, but guess how they started dating? They were both returning home from a camping trip when his boyfriend's father's car almost hit a deer and they stopped to see if it was okay. Dad it was just a little thing and guess what? It was a rare albino!"
"Whoa! Slow down there, Son," he chuckled at my excitement. "I think I read about that story. It happened last summer if I recall correctly."
"Yeah," I answered. "Right after school was out for the summer. Isn't that cool?"
"Yes Son," he chuckled again. "It's 'cool' as you put it."
"Hi Dad," Jon said standing beside me, addressing my father.
"Hi Son, do I get a hug from you too?" Jon didn't need any further invitation and immediately walked up to my father and gave him as big a hug as I had given him before. What was surprising, was that this was the first time I had ever heard Jon refer to my father as 'Dad'. It was appropriate, however, as our families were so close it was as if we were one big family, only living in two separate homes. I noticed as Jon and my father broke apart from one another that my dad had some tears in his eyes, which he quickly wiped away.
"What's for dinner," my father asked.
"Oh hi Don," Sarah greeted my father. "We're having chicken alfredo and baked potatoes with vegetables, and if you want to have a chance to get some before the kids get their hands on it, I'd seriously suggest you get showered and changed quick," she said, a mischievous smile on her face.
My father smiled at that and hurried up the stairs to the bathroom where he had a quick shower, then came down the stairs after getting changed, and headed for the kitchen where we all had begun to dig in. Before he had a chance to sit down to begin his meal, which we had already prepared a portion for him, the doorbell rang.
Since he was the only one still standing, my father went to the front door. We heard some voices, and after a bit, Vivian walked in followed by my father.
"I'm sorry to disturb your meal guys, I just got off duty, but I had some news about your father's first court appearance that I had to come tell you about Paul," she said, causing all of us to pretty much stop doing what we were doing. "Paul, your father will be brought before the courts two weeks from today. You should know he has already hired a lawyer, and a pretty good one at that. Don't worry though, I know the Crown Prosecutor personally, and she's damn good at what she does. You, Jon, and Jason will have to see her before the initial court appearance. You won't be required to be there for the court date itself, and frankly, I don't think you should be, but that choice is yours to make."
It took us a bit to digest this information, especially Paul, who I could see was sitting there thinking.
"I want to be there," Paul said simply looking at Vivian.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes. He took me away from my family, treated me like dirt, and made me hate who I was and, he caused me to hurt the one person I cared about most. He raped me and took my life from me. I want to be there the whole time, to look him in the eye and show him that I won't let him win.
Jon and I smiled at each other. I could tell he loved his brother, the bond they once had when they were very young was still as strong as before. Both of us were proud of how far Paul had come. Only a few short weeks ago he was nothing but an angry bully, and now, he was someone I was proud to have as a friend.
"Okay that's all I needed to say, except that court appearance is scheduled for ten in the morning on that Friday, two weeks from now. I'll let you all get back to your dinner. Again, I'm sorry for the interruption." With that she turned to leave, but my father stopped her.
"Why the rush, come in and sit with us. You're welcome to have dinner with us if you want," he said.
"You know," Vivian said, turning to look at my father, "I think I'll take you up on that offer. I haven't had a chance to eat all day, and I'm starving!"
"Jason, would you get an extra place setting out for Vivian?" he asked me. I didn't bat an eye as I got up from the table and went to the cupboard to get a plate and then opened the drawer and took out a fork and knife. Thankfully the table we were sitting at was big enough to sit eight people so there was a spot beside my father that was open. I placed the plate and cutlery there, then took a glass from another cupboard, and put in on the table by the empty plate.
Vivian took off her jacket, hung it up on an empty hook by the door, and sat down at the table beside my father. "This all smells so good!" she exclaimed as we began to pass her the various food that my mother and Sarah had made.
"Yes, both Karen and Sarah definitely know how to cook a good meal," my father said, a sad look momentarily clouding over his face, but only momentarily. "I tell you, if this is the way the food's going to taste when they're making it, we'd be foolish not to think of us all moving into the same house together."
I couldn't tell if he was serious with that comment or not, but to me, the idea of everyone sharing the same house had its appeal. Apparently, this sentiment was shared by others as well.
"You know Don," Sarah spoke up. "That's not a half bad idea. It seems pointless for us to keep two homes when we end up spending so much time together. I don't think a day has gone by where we weren't sitting at the same table eating a meal together."
"Yeah Dad, we should! I'd love to live in the same house with Jon. Besides, it would be so much easier because everyone would be in the same house and no one would have to travel back and forth between houses.
"Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I would guess that if you all moved into one home, you'd need to look at getting a bigger place. This house is just a little too cramped for a family of this size," Vivian said.
"You are right there Vivian," my mother answered. "And the other house isn't much bigger than this one. Both houses have four bedrooms, but they aren't designed to support this many people. I've always wanted to get something bigger, maybe something near the lake. I hear the homes by Spencer Smith Park are really nice."
My father laughed out loud at this. "Karen, I love you, but sometimes I think you reach too far. You know how much those homes go for?"
"Now don't you get all negative with me Don," my mother scolded, causing my father to force himself to stop laughing. "You and I certainly could never afford one of those homes on our own, but look at what we would be doing. With Sarah's income included, we certainly now have enough room to purchase that kind of a house, and still be able to live comfortably. I want our son to be happy, and he would be most happy with Jon."
"It's something to think about certainly," my father said, seeing the logic of my mother's argument. When it came to their love for me, they always did what was best. I loved them for that.
"I don't mean to pry," Vivian interrupted. "But what exactly are you going to do? I mean, Karen, you and Sarah are obviously in love, but you're still married to Don."
"It's okay Vivian, Don and I have discussed this, and we're going to get a divorce. We'll have joint custody of Jason, but if we move into the same house together, there'll be no need to worry about an arrangement for who sees Jason when, which would be really hard on him."
"I want to be able to be with both of you," I cried, finally realizing what my mother loving Sarah would mean if we didn't have single house to live in.
"I know Son," my mother said to me. Jon stopped eating and put his arm around me. I leaned into his shoulder sobbing. It wasn't that I was sad, but that I was scared that I wouldn't be able to be with my parents like I had always been. I would have to spend time with my mother or father, and then when that time was up, have to go to the other for their time. It really sucked.
"There is no way we are going to separate this family," my father announced, seeing how the thought of us separating affected me. "And make no mistake, this is a family. Sarah, I'm going to sell the house and Karen and I will move in here with you, Jon, and Paul. You have that extra room in the basement, and for now I'll use that. Then we all can start working on moving into a bigger place for all of us."
"You mean that Dad?" I asked him, my sobbing finally letting up.
"Yes Son. I can't stand to see you unhappy, and you mean as much to your mother and me as we mean to you. No matter how things have changed now, there's no way any of us could stand to be apart from one another. That's because we are a family."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I shouted, jumping out of my chair and running around the table to give my father a big hug. "I love you so much Dad."
"I love you too Son," he said, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. "Now get back in your chair, and let's finish this dinner."
Through all of this, Vivian had a huge grin on her face. Over the course of the remainder of dinner, I saw both my father and Vivian occasionally stealing glances at one another. Both of them had grins on their faces, and I was beginning to wonder if there was the chance that they might be interested in each other. I pushed that thought aside as I knew my father was still in love with my mother. There was no way that he'd find someone else that he could fall in love with.
The next two weeks went by fairly quickly. During school, Jon and I were very careful to keep our relationship a secret. Only a few of our friends, including Jon's friend Simon, knew of how we felt about each other. It was actually funny to watch as Simon more excited and giddy with each passing day, knowing that the time when his boyfriend, Terry, would be moving to Burlington was getting closer. Both of their parents knew that their son's were gay and that they were in love, and they approved of the relationship, so there were no problems there.
About that time, a new boy moved into the neighborhood. He was a short, but very cute looking boy. Rumor at school was that this young boy, who was about ten years old, had lost his mother in a fire sometime last year, and he was put into a foster home, but ran away after something happened there. According to the rumors, he was found sleeping in some bushes in Spencer Smith Park during the summer by a very successful young businessman by the name of Ryan Adams, who took him into his home and eventually adopted him.
Near the end of the second week however, I bumped into one of Paul's old friends, Gary Portman. I didn't have very fond memories of Gary, as he had been one of Paul's most enthusiastic supporters during the time Paul was bullying me. I didn't pay much attention to him then, because it was always Paul who did most of the actual bullying, but Gary was someone I felt who could be worse than Paul. I was in the gym's change room, having just finished my class before lunch. I was supposed to meet Jon and Paul in the cafeteria for lunch.
"Well, if it isn't the little faggot Jason," Gary sneered.
"Buzz off Gary," I told him, bravely, though inside I was scared as hell. Gary was a big guy. He was taller than Jon, and certainly was built very well. If it wasn't for the fact that he was the kind of person who thrived on intimidating people, I could actually have found him attractive. As it was though, his macho demeanor was just plain intimidating. He'd already been suspended from school four times for fighting. It's doubtful he'd ever learn his lesson.
"Oh sure, acting all tough now that you have your bodyguard boyfriend, and Paul to watch your back. But they're not here right now. Are they?" he grinned. It was a grin I didn't much like at all. I knew that whatever it was he was thinking wasn't going to be pleasant for me.
"MR. PORTMAN!" a voice bellowed from behind us. Gary spun around immediately recognizing the voice of my Gym teacher, Mr. Rayne. "I don't think you have a need to be in here. Do you?" If the look on the Mr. Rayne's face could kill, Gary would be nothing but a pile of dust.
Mr. Rayne is a very imposing individual. He was built, and not just built fit, but I mean, he was built big. He always wore a white t-shirt, which only served to accentuate his well developed and toned muscles. His shorts were skin tight black spandex, and like his upper body, his legs were just as well developed. Actually, aside from the obvious build difference, he looked a little like my father.
Being who I am, I couldn't help but notice his package, which I could clearly see the outline of in his shorts. I started to get an erection just seeing the outline of his formidable cock, which embarrassed me as I hadn't noticed any other person in that way except my Jon. Whoever said that most muscle builders aren't very well endowed between their legs hasn't seen Mr. Rayne.
"I'm just talking to my friend Jason here," Gary replied to Mr. Rayne's question with a wry grin on his face.
"Uh huh. And do you think I was born yesterday punk?" Mt. Rayne bellowed, causing Gary's grin to disappear. "I know all about you and Paul's little gang. Oh yes, Paul told me all about you. Everything." Upon hearing this I could see the color wash out of Gary's face. But Mr. Rayne obviously wasn't finished with Gary yet. "So I'm going to make you a deal, you pathetic sorry excuse for a pile of crap. You are going to never, ever talk to Jason again. You will leave him alone. You aren't going to bother him ever again, either directly, or indirectly. If anything happens to Jason, I'm going to be seeing you first. And guess what's going to happen? You're going to be my next special project. Everything that I know about you will be posted up on every bulletin board in the school. Including pictures. I must say by the way, I never would have figured that about you."
When Mr. Rayne finished, Gary didn't even wait to be dismissed, but tore out of the change room in tears and obviously very frightened.
"Thanks sir, but why?" I asked him bewildered by what had happened.
"Lets just say Son, that I know you better than you think I do. Now, I believe you have lunch period next, so you better get a move on if you want to be able to eat." With that he walked out of the change room allowing me to finish getting changed. I walked out and headed for the cafeteria. Looking at my watch, I saw that I was already ten minutes late, so I picked up my speed and, getting to the cafeteria in record time. It didn't take me long to find Paul and Jon, who were sitting across from each other at a table by the window.
Jon waved me over and I went over to them. "Hey babe," I said quietly, not wishing anyone to overhear me.
"Hey yourself sexy," he replied, giving me one of his awesome smiles.
"Hey Paul, how's things?" I asked him.
"Oh you know, same as usual. The teachers still don't trust me not to make trouble in class, which I don't blame them for, but they're not giving me a hard time either, which is good. Actually, Mr. Robins, my math teacher, said that he's actually seen an improvement in me."
"That's awesome, dude," I said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
"Yeah, well, some of my former 'friends' have been giving me a hard time, but it's nothing I can't handle. It's Gary I'm worried about."
"Yeah. I had a run in with him today after gym. That's why I'm late," I said.
"I wondered what was taking you so long," Jon said, a questioning look on his face, obviously wanting to know what happened. I didn't disappoint him and told them both about my encounter with the new head bully in school.
"You're kidding!" Paul exclaimed, raising his voice just loud enough that the people closest to us turned their attention to him briefly. "You're kidding right?" he asked again more quietly. "Mr. Rayne actually did that?" Both Jon and Paul were impressed.
"See, what'd I tell you Jay? I think he's got the hots for you," Jon laughed, which was soon joined by Paul's laughter.
I sat there blushing a bit, for Jon indeed a few weeks earlier had said something like that to me. I decided a little bit of revenge was in order. "Yeah well, you might be right, he was wearing his spandex black shorts and I could practically see everything!" This didn't have the desired effect I had intended though, as Jon suddenly stopped laughing, and had a somber look on his face.
"Oh," he said simply.
"Hey babe, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it," I said noticing the change in his behavior. "You're the only one I'm interested in. I couldn't see anyone else that way you know that."
Jon relaxed a little and then blushed. I loved it when he blushed, he looked so cute. "I'm sorry Jay, I should have known. I guess I just got a little worried."
"Well don't babe. I love you, and that will never change," I told him reassuringly.
"Thanks. I love you too."
"Okay you two love birds, can we knock it off with the mushy stuff, some of us are trying to eat here," Paul said, which set off another round of laughter, this time from all three of us.
The rest of the day was uneventful, with the three of us returning to Jon's house, which it seemed was now going to be everyone's home as my father was pretty close to selling the old house. I was going to miss it, as I had a lot of good memories in that house, but at the same time, I was looking forward to being able to share a home with Jon.
On Friday, Jon, Paul, and I had to take a day off school so we could meet with the Crown before Paul and Jon's father's first court appearance. When we got to the courthouse, the Crown prosecutor ushered us into a small room and explained what was going to be happening.
"Paul, your father, and Jon's too, will be brought in before the judge. This is only his first court appearance, so today all that will be happening is the judge will be recording his plea. I've learned from your father's attorney, that he will be pleading not-guilty. His attorney will most likely be applying to have him released on bail, for which I will be arguing against. Due to the nature of the crime, and the fact that he is considered to be a flight risk, it's highly unlikely that he will be released and will be remanded into custody until a trial date can be set. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" he asked us to which we all nodded our heads.
"Now, are there any other important facts that I need to be made aware of before things begin?" he asked.
"Um, yeah," Paul spoke up. "But I don't know if I should say anything about it. I mean, it could make things worse for me if I do."
The prosecutor raised his hand to stop Paul from going further. "Paul, would this have anything to do with your sexual orientation?" Paul simply nodded his head. "Well, don't worry. Considering the evidence I have gathered I suspected that might be the case. And don't worry. Nothing about your personal life will be made public in that room. I have applied for a publication ban on this case to protect you and your brother, as well as Jason here. And just so you know, I'm gay also, and I have a husband who I've lived with for the past ten years."
That last statement shocked us, but Paul looked up at this man and smiled. "Thank you. I was scared of how you would react," he admitted.
"Well don't be. In this country, we take people's rights and freedoms very seriously, and there are some very strict hate crimes laws to protect homosexuals and other minority groups."
After that meeting, we all felt better, and in fact, things went fairly quickly once everything begun. As expected, Paul's father did plead not guilty to all the charges against him. This was the first time either of us learned what the specific charges were against him, and they included, failure to provide the necessities of life, aggravated sexual assault, assault with intent to cause grave bodily harm or death, and finally, attempted murder. We were stunned, for if he was found guilty, it would be likely he would be spending the rest of his life in prison.
We all walked out of the courthouse with a sense of relief, for he had indeed been remanded into custody and would not be allowed on the streets where he could come after us. My father took us back to the house, as he didn't see the point in having us go to school when we wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything other than what happened. When we got inside, my mother and Sarah were preparing a lunch for us. We were starving, as most teenagers usually are.
Lunch went fairly quickly and quietly. None of our parents wanted to talk about the court case, but instead talked amongst themselves, allowing Paul, Jon and I to go and be by ourselves. Paul went to listen to music in his room again, while Jon and I went into our room where we immediately fell into each other's arms, passionately kissing one another. Just being with Jon, in his arms, was enough for me.
We couldn't have been in our room for more than ten minutes when we suddenly heard a knock on the door. I looked at the clock beside the bed and saw that we had actually been in there for almost an hour. I guess what they say about time flying when you're having fun is true.
"Jay, Jon. Can I come in for a minute?" It was Paul's voice, and we quickly straightened ourselves up as best we could before Jon answered.
"Come in Paul, we're decent."
The door to Jon's room slowly opened, and Paul's head peeked inside, then he walked inside when he saw that Jon and I were just sitting on his bed.
"Um, I need to talk to you guys about something," he said nervously.
"You know you can talk to us about anything Paul. You're my brother. You're still a pain in the butt, but you're my brother," Jon said attempting to keep a straight face, and failing miserably.
A slight smile appeared briefly on Paul's face, but only briefly. "I don't want to be gay," he stated.
Jon and I looked at each other, and knew immediately that this was serious, and we got up off the bed, guided him over to it and had him sit down, with us sitting on either side of him.
"Talk to us Paul, what's wrong?" I asked him. I could feel the tension in his body as I had my arm around him for comfort.
"It's just... I'm gay. I can't help how I feel, but I don't want to be. I want to be like everyone else. I want to find a girlfriend, and get married, and have children. I want to buy a house where I can grow old with my family, and watch my kids grow up to have kids of their own.
"I mean, I've had sex with a girl before, and I thought that that would change how I am, but it doesn't. She was sweet and nice and caring, but in the end, I didn't feel anything for her. There was nothing about her that I was attracted to. All I felt when we had sex was as if it was just another warm tight place to put my dick into and to get off. Oh God, I sound so selfish!" Paul cried. Jon and I just sat there holding onto him, comforting him and letting him get it out of his system.
"I'm sorry guys," he apologized to us. "I didn't mean to do that. I just want to be normal."
"Paul," I started, "you are normal. There is nothing about you that isn't normal. You love like anyone else, you feel like anyone else. Who you love doesn't define who you are; it's just a part of you like it is for everyone else."
"Jay's right little bro," Jon said. "It doesn't matter if you like guys instead of girls. What's important is how you feel inside.
"That's what I'm afraid of. I think I am falling for someone, but I know he doesn't feel the same way about me, and that's what hurts so much. Not only that, if anything did happen between us and people found out, it'd cause all kinds of problems," Paul said.
Jon and I were dumbfounded. We had no idea that Paul had begun to have feelings for someone. The only person we knew that he had feelings for was me, but he assured both Jon and I that he wouldn't interfere with our relationship, as hard as it was for him to let me go.
"Is it someone we know?" Jon asked Paul.
"Yeah, but if I told you, you'd just tell me I was crazy, or hate me again."
"Paul, we love you. Not the same as Jon and I love each other, but we really do care about you. There's no way we could hate you." I told him.
"Yeah you would."
"I think I should be the judge of that," I stated.
Paul just looked at me, and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. "Even if the person I've fallen in love with is your dad?"
Holy cripes! Will the surprises never end? Keep on sending me those comments. You can reach me at: email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org