All the usual disclaimers apply. This is my first attempt at writing erotic fiction, so feedback will be appreciated, and flames will be quenched in a trash bin where they belong. All of this is fictional, it never happened, it never will, though it is somewhat based on my experiences in high school. All names have been changed, though the ages remain the same.

*note, this is a love story \, not a quick get-off. There will be many sex moments throughout, but the first is going much later. This is typical high school drama... so expect moments of tragedy. In short, expect the unexpected.

Forsaken Hearts

Chapter 1

“I am God's Xbox!” I exclaimed, “either that, or I'm one of his scapegoats...”

“C'mon Sam, you can't really believe that! Look at all He's given you!” Matthew, my very Christian friend, answered.

We were sitting outside at lunch, awaiting the other members of our lunch group. Once again, we were having our usual religion-related conversation. It never failed to amaze me. Matthew, as devout as he is in his beliefs, was always tolerant to mine as we discussed various aspects of theology. Although not a believer, I had spent much time informing myself on the nuances of each denomination, and although I was no expert, I could easily play devil's advocate in conversations like this one.

“Oh my god.... their still going at it!!!” Nick groaned aloud as he approached the table with his tray in one hand, slices of pizza piled sloppily on top of it.

“Knock off it! Will you two ever take a break, instead of abusing us every day with this drivel?” Courtney said, as she came closer to us with her “healthy” approach to lunch. It was one of those salad wrap things available here, though I doubt they were truly healthy. After all, the school made them.

As Nick and Courtney took their seats, all four of us started laughing. It was a typical Thursday, our lighthearted jokes mixed in with serious topics. Northern High School was the same as it always was. I, Samuel Sean Harper, am a Junior here, as are Matthew and Nick. Courtney, on the other hand, is a sophomore, albeit a cool one. And she's not all that bad looking, either. Her flaming red hair never fails to glisten, no matter what light is shining. She has several guys I know tripping over each other, I find it funny how they ignore the fact that she takes advantage of them every chance she gets... and they come back for more.

Just then, my 6 foot tall heartthrob, Marcus, crossed the courtyard into the cafeteria. Right before entering it, he shook his shoulder-length blond hair to get it out of his eyes. I stared after him, dumbfounded. I knew I would never have a chance with him, but the fantasy was still fun. Matthew and Courtney started giggling, since they knew I was attracted to him, and they brought me back to reality. Just in time, as it turned out, since Nick was becoming confused.

“You okay, man? It seemed like you zoned out there, for a second... And what are you two laughing at? What's going on???” Nick questioned, his face screwing up in question. This only made all three of us laugh harder, almost unable to breathe.

“Don't worry about it” I said, as I reached over to his plate and grabbed a pepperoni off his pizza. “It's all good.”

“I hate it when I'm left out of jokes, ya'll know that!” He said as he covered his pizza with his hands to stop us from stealing.

“Okay fine, I'll tell you what we were laughing at.” I arranged my face as straight as possible, and I knew I was going to have to stop myself from laughing. “I like boys...”

“You are the funniest guy I know,” he responded seriously. “But I also know you and Catie are at least halfway around the diamond”. He was alluding to the “1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, home plate” system and he was right. We had gone to 2nd base together, and were planning more soon.

Suddenly, Matthew, Courtney and I started laughing hysterically. A little later, he joined in, satirically quoting a famous commercial.

“What do the three clowns think is funny? The world may never know...” shrugged his shoulders, talking animatedly, in order to emphasize the last part.

“That's total bull!” Matthew exclaimed. Courtney and I looked at him, questioning looks on our faces. “It's only you that doesn't know,” he added with a snicker. We all joined him.

Just then, the bell rang, indicating that our fun was over for the next hour and a half, at least until the end of the school day. I grabbed my school books, and headed to my last class, guitar. I had asked for it specifically, since my first two classes were both AP classes, and they were both in the “toughest classes offered at Northern” list. Guitar on the other hand, was one of the easiest classes, along with PE and AP environmental science, jokingly referred to as AP nature walk.

None of my lunch group were in guitar with me, so I joined up with Tyler, another one of my friends, and headed down the hall with him.

“So you gonna paintball wit' me this weekend?” he turned his head to look at me.

“I dunno yet man, I gotta check my plans, me and Catie might be doing something together.” I answered, opening the door to the classroom.

“That's tight man, I'll just call ya later, like after school, kay? He headed towards his seat on the opposite side of the room without waiting for an answer.

“Okay class sit down please, the bell has already rung, hush up everyone” The teacher started lecturing on the importance of music theory. I was already in my own little world, eagerly awaiting the day when we could actually play with our guitars. My eyes started drooping, and my head seemed heavier and heavier until I leaned it on my arms on the desk. I quickly fell asleep, awaking only when the bell rang, sounding the end of the day.

Although I would have loved to hang out and chill with Matt, Nick and Courtney, I was reminded over the intercom that all JV soccer team members had practice that afternoon, even though varsity was off to a game. I gathered my soccer equipment from my locker and put my class notebooks in it, thinking I would return at the end of practice. I turned and headed off to the gym to change.

“Everyone grab a partner, let's get some one-touch passes in to warm-up” Coach ordered when we got down to the field. He was pretty strict, and he treated everyone the same, even the arrogant players who thought they were better than everyone else. Needless to say, most everyone respected him and his demands. “Stay on your toes, guys! It'll be easier to reach out and knock it back.” He said with a little demonstration of what he expected us to do. A few of the teammates exchanged looks, their eyes smiling, though none daring to say a word.

As usual, Josh and I approached each other. He was almost always my partner, since we had been on the team last year, and, since we were both forwards, we had gotten pretty good with combination plays. I had known him for a while, and had grown to respect him, and we had become good friends. He was one of the best scorers on the team, usually around the same amount of goals as me. We always joked about his height. He was shorter than most, around 5 feet 3 inches, but his speed always got him around the opponent's defenders. I was slightly taller, at 5 feet 6 inches, but I was even faster than him, though I lacked the ball control skills he used effortlessly.

Practice continued for nearly an hour and a half, most of which had been spent in a 7 v 7 scrimmage, pitting me and Josh on opposite sides. The score was tied 2-2 by the time we had to go, with Josh and I being the only scorers. I headed towards my locker, grabbing my school clothes on the way. It seemed like a long walk after such a tough practice, and the stairs were unusually steep.

My phone rang as soon as I got to my locker. I picked it up without checking the ID, and answered the way I sometimes do when I'm tired. “What do ya want, I'm busy”. The voice on the other hand spoke soon: “Quit fucking around Sam! Can you give me a ride home?” I looked at my watch and remembered I had no plans that evening, so I responded in the affirmative. “Just meet me at my car in like 3 minutes.” I hung up and made my way over to my parking spot. Since I was a junior, I had a parking spot way in the back, but at least I had one. I had gotten lucky in the lottery that chose which 11th graders got to park at school.

I walked to my car, my soccer bag over my shoulder, my books in my arm, trying to find my keys in my pocket. I spotted Josh hanging around my car, sitting on his bag, watching me approach. I realized it had been his voice on the phone. It wasn't the first time he had asked me for a ride, actually, it happened every week, once or twice a week. We also hung out every now and then at the movie theater with a few other friends from school, so I knew exactly where he lived.

On the way to his house, which was about 10 minutes away from mine, we talked about the upcoming game, school, music, and, well, life in general. The 15 minutes from school passed by quickly, and suddenly we were in his driveway. He waved goodbye as he hopped out, grabbed his books, and headed towards his door. I waited a minute, just to make sure he could get in. Once he opened the door, I started up the engine and backed out of his driveway, heading home.

I reached the house still in a happy, albeit tired mood. I opened the door, greeted my parents, and went straight upstairs to my room to take a nap. I got up an hour or so later, and groggily stumbled down the stairs, crashing on the couch in front of the TV. I turned on MTV, listening to the latest music videos, until dinner was called. I was awake by then, and I sat down with my family crowding around the table. There were three of us: both my parents and me. There were also two dogs circling about underneath the table, but they don't count.

We ate dinner in silence, like we usually do. We glanced at each other every once in a while. Finally, my father got the courage to speak up. “Samuel!” His voice gravely commanded attention. I looked up from my food to look at him, since it was one of his pet peeves “Sam, we got a call from your teacher at school. It seems you have been slacking off your homework lately. Me and your mom do not approve, and you will be punished until your grade gets higher.” He turned to Mom for support. “That's right Sam,” she said. “So consider yourself grounded. No phone, TV, computer, or guitar.”

“Fine,” I said dejectedly, letting out a huge sigh that was surely “asking for it” from my parents. Sure enough, they didn't let me down.

“Don't you DARE use that tone of voice with me young man!” my father bellowed at the top of his lungs, standing up to look a bit more intimidating. “We will not be spoken to as such! We are your parents, and we deserve every ounce of respect you can give us!”

“Okay, Fine, so I'm grounded!” I raised my voice, standing up as well. That earned me a punch to my chest, causing me to lose my breath and fall back onto my chair while I recovered my air. They also gave me the usual “Go to your room”. I slumped my shoulders as I realized I had lost yet another fight. It seemed as if everyday it was the same thing, fight after fight after fight, over the most trivial things. They always ended up with me being grounded, yelled at, and sent to my room. There seemed to be no escape.

I climbed the stairs, ironically feeling like I was descending into the depths of hell. I opened the door, and the world crashed in on me. I was 16, it seemed that my life should be good, I should be going out with friends, falling in “love” with girls, drinking and partying like everyone else was doing. Yet I was alone. Sure, I had friends who would do anything for me if I asked them to, but... Well, it wasn't the same. They weren't the same as me, there was always one link that was unfastened in my heart. I wanted Love. Not the kind most teenagers experience, not the infatuation or lust. I wanted true love, the kind that raises your spirits just by being around that one special person.

My cell phone starting vibrating on my bed, snapping me out of my trance. I looked at the ID, and noticed it was Josh. I answered with a slow, breathy “Hey....”.

“ 'Ey Sam, you okay? You seemed fine this afternoon at practice...” He said, leading into a mildly awkward silence between us.

“Ya man, I'm fine, don't worry about it.” I said, laying down on my bed.

“I was just wondering if you could come to the movies tomorrow. Me and a few of the mornin' gang are gettin' together at the new theater. It'd be kinda cool if you could join us..."

"Can't give you a final answer now... I've sorta been... Well, re-grounded.... But I'll definitly try to come... Just call me before ya'll do go, and I'll let ya know then. As for now, well I gotta go 'fore my parents catch me on the phone. Talk to ya later, kay man?" I hung up the phone, putting it away quickly so my parents wouldn't catch it if they came in. I checked the time and decided it was late, so I spread out on my bed, and started thinking about life. My thoughts drifted slowly, like waves on a beach, like leaves in the wind, turning to one subject after another. I thought about school, my latest guitar riff I was trying to perfect, soccer, and Marcus.

I saw him in the cafeteria, inviting me over to the table. I saw that I was instantly assimilated into their group, and that Marcus seemed almost as if he was flirting with me. But most of all, I saw that I needed to have the courage to tell him about my sexuality. After all, I had already accepted it about myself (not that I was pleased with it) and had come out to my closest friends, who accepted it without question. A smile reached my face, and I fell to sleep contented.


My email:

I will answer every single letter I get (except for the flames). This is my first story, so I will happily accept suggestions, comments, etc. All suggestions will be taken into account, and, if they follow the general plan I have for the story, will be implemented, and credited at the end of the story.

The next installment will be soon, as soon as I can write it up... maybe a week, maybe two, maybe a month. Life throws things at me constantly, and I have to deal with them. Also, I will be out of town next week, with no access to a computer, so it will take some time, both to write and to answer emails.

Thank you for your understanding,

Samuel Harper (my chosen pen name, not my actual one)