The contents of this story is purely fictional although based on real life happenings in my life. All names have been fictionalize to protect the innocent and not so innocent. The content matter of this story concerns love and sex between males teenagers. If this is not what you like reading or it is illegal for you to read this material because of age or laws go somewhere else. This story is copyrighted by it's owner and may not be copied or published elsewhere without the owners permission.
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by Sam Lakes
Copyright © 2006 All Rights Reserved
I had such a crush on Troy. He seemed to make an effort to say hi to me everyday. The good news was he was the star of the school play. I couldn’t wait until the weekend dress rehearsals.
I was still pretty much a zero with my classmates in most of my classes. I think it was mostly my fault because I shied away from getting to know anyone, or letting anyone get to know me. I learned by listening to others, that being gay was not the way to be. I knew that was the way I was, and still am for that matter, and I’m not ashamed of myself, but I realized that I was way different.
On Friday I was uploading some of the pictures I had taken to one of the computers used by the school newspaper. Alicia was there and looking at my photos. She was always so cool.
“Oh, he’s cute too.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t resist he had a sweet smile. He must have been thinking of someone special when he looked at me.”
“Maybe he was thinking of you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I am no one special, but I take pictures of people who are.”
“Bastian Atreyu McCormick! How can you say that?”
“Easy, I take pictures of people who are special and they are.”
“No, dufus, you are special.”
“Yeah, I’m good at taking pictures, but that’s about it. I am far from cute – I’m fifteen, skinny as a rail, only 5’ 7” and 105 lbs. My smile is lopsided, not like his, or his, or his or hers, or his, or his or his. My eyes are light brown an ugly color; brown. Not like his or his or his.”
She smiled, “Bastian, you are the hottest kid in the whole school. If I didn’t have a boyfriend already you’d be it.”
She continued to look at my photos, “You seem to like photographing cute guys,” she said softly with a smile. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Yeah, well, ugh – I-I ugh.” I looked at her I’ve never denied that I was gay. It’s just things are different now and I don’t want to be different. I want to be straight. No, that’s not true - I want to be like everybody else. That’s not true either…I want to be accepted. I want people to like me and so far they don’t.
“Bastian, it’s okay. Calm down, you look like you’re going to freak.”
“You know, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I like you Bastian. You are so cool – so talented. The fact that you’re gay is something that is simply part of you. It’s a part that makes up the whole you and who knows if it weren’t a part of you, maybe you’d be an asshole.”
“I love you so much…you’re like the big sister I never had,” I paused. I really did love her as a friend – best friend one I could joke around with, “A really, really biiiiiggg sister.”
She laughed and said, “Alright penis breath!”
I laughed, “I wish!”
We hugged and then she asked, “So where did you live before Chicago?”
“An island in the middle of nowhere. I got dumped there by a guy who saved my life.” Of course she wanted to know all the details so I told her. I talked about Jacques and Henri and then about all about my best friend Brady. Of course I didn’t tell her I was in love with Brady, or that he was gay.
Saturday was upon me and I went to the dress rehearsal. I was excited about taking the photos especially Troy’s. I ended up with everyone’s picture except Troy’s because I was saving him till last.
I finally got around to him and most of the photos I took of him; he never realized I was taking. They were all great.
I wanted to get a really good picture of him, acting or singing, and I got a little carried away, as I was out on stage. I was leaning back to get a great shot of him, lost my balance and fell over some prop.
It caused Troy and the other actors to laugh. The teacher got pissed at me and kicked me out. I was disappointed because although I taken a lot of good pictures, I didn’t get the one I wanted. I knew I would have a second chance the next day.
I went to the school paper room and uploaded my pictures. Alicia was there and she looked over the photos.
“I really hate you Bastian,” she smiled, “All this extra work trying to choose which picture to use. They are all good.”
She talked about her family and her older brother who was at college. He’s gay and I think he’s dating, nothing serious yet though.”
“What university does he go to?” I asked.
“University of Colorado,” she replied.
“Wow! That’s where my best friend Brady goes. I wonder if they know each other.”
“Don’t know. I’ll ask Kerry the next time he calls or emails,” she responded.
The next day I went to the rehearsals early. I was looking around to find a good position to get a really good shot of Troy. I was about to give up when I noticed a catwalk above the stage – that would be my vantage point. I climbed up to the catwalk and looked down. I needed to be further towards the front of the stage and spotted a pulley with a rope right above the space I need to be in. Luckily the rope was tied to the rail of the catwalk. I found a piece of plywood to serve as a seat and made sort of a boson’s chair. There still was no one around when I swung out in the boson’s chair. I lowered myself to where I needed to be and checked it out in my viewfinder. It was going to be perfect.
I pulled myself back up out of the way and waited.
Eventually it was getting close to the scene and I slowly, quietly lowered myself into position. As Troy stepped forward, into the frame, like I knew he would – click I had my picture. Unfortunately, I lost my balance on the crude seat I had made. The seat fell to the stage barley missing the actress. My body flipped as I was falling towards the stage the rope tightened around my legs.
I ended up hanging upside down, holding my camera so as to protect it. By some miracle the pulley had jammed leaving me a foot from the floor, and saving me from a broken neck.
Talk about an irate teacher. She was worse than Aunt Edna at ripping new assholes. She was threatening to have me expelled. As soon as rehearsals were finished she was going to call my parents and the principal.
I guess I had Troy and Alicia to thank for me not getting expelled. When Alicia heard I was told to sit in a seat, and not move, and not take any photos, and that expulsion was eminent, she downloaded all the photos I had taken, on to her laptop.
I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the teacher seemed to cool her jets of hate towards me.
Over the following weeks my friendship with Troy became stronger, and so did my crush on him. It was Troy that nicknamed me Foto, and because of his popularity, others followed. I didn’t mind in the slightest. I hid the fact that I had a crush on him, from everyone, including Alicia.
I was working long hours on homework, and spending nearly every free moment, helping Alicia with the final school paper of the year. I was happy for her that next year she’d be going to Northwestern, but I was sad that she wouldn’t be here.
The days I didn’t see her, I usually saw Troy. He’d be going to Northwestern too. He and Alicia were the only two people at school who knew I was brought to, and picked up from, school everyday, by a limo – actually I was dropped off three blocks from school. Then I would walk the rest of the way. It had been like that since my second day of school.
Given my history, my dads insisted that I be dropped off and picked up at school, using the company limo.
Troy invited me to hang out with him several times and I always turned him down because of my transportation. Alicia knew because I told her. Troy knew because he followed me one day without me knowing it. I was so embarrassed when he confronted me about the limo, and more over, why I felt like I had to keep it hidden from him.
I had no real reason. I wondered if he had feelings for me like I had feelings for him. I talked to Alicia about having a huge crush on someone – I wouldn’t tell her who, but I told her he’d asked me to hang out with him several times and I refused. But now I was wondering if I should.
Alicia told me I should go for it. So, the next time Troy asked me, I said yes, I’d have to arrange for the limo to pick me up from his place.
I rode with Troy to his home. It was a nice home. We went up to his room and played video games for a while, but I suck at playing them. I had fun though.
“You want a soda?”
“Cool, me too. I’ll be right back.”
I hadn’t really looked around since I arrived in his room, because we immediately started playing video games, and I thought he might consider it a bit rude. It was then, while I was looking around the room that I spotted a photo I had taken. It was nicely framed photo of Alicia – the one I had taken the first day I met her.
Troy was Alicia’s boyfriend. He had never mentioned her to me. Well, to be honest I had never asked him if he had a girlfriend. I had hoped it was me he was interested in, but it wasn’t.
I was sitting on the bed holding her picture.
“She’s a beautiful girl,” he said. I flinched.
“Yeah, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. You’re a lucky guy. She loves you a lot.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Why am I here? Why did you ask me over?” I asked still looking at the picture.
I put the picture down and looked at him. “I want to know why I am here. I’m a freshman nobody and you’re a popular senior. You have a beautiful incredible girlfriend. And I don’t understand why you wanted to hang with me?”
He looked away. The silence was killing me. I couldn’t stand it; I had to leave.
“I’d better go.” I stood up and walked towards the door.
When I reached the door he said in a quite voice, “Because I love you, Bastian.”
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