Date: Sun, 12 Feb 2006 18:02:16 -0500
From: Dylan
Subject: Freedom Exists ch. 3

             I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in.  Jake was
still sound asleep, as much as I hated to leave his arms, I had to get my
suit from my house.  So I walked back to school, and then walked home.
Jake's house was fairly close to mine, a 10 minute walk.  I even figured out
the route without walking it.  On the way back instead of going back to the
school to be sure, I walked my route, and I was at Jakes house.  Once I got
inside, I saw Laura sitting in the living room.

             "I hope you don't mind, Jake asked if I could come."  She just
smiled at me, I smiled back.  I went upstairs and on Jakes dressor was his
suit, I guess Laura laid it out for him while I left.  I gently put my on
top of his making sure to do it neatly.  I then slowly went and laid back
with Jake.  After a few minutes Jake woke up.  He turned over and looked at
me with the most innocent eyes that someone could have.  I kissed him
tenderly and picked him up in my arms.  I carred him to the bathroom.

          "Jake, do you feel comfortable taking a shower with me?"
         "umm....uhh....I guess so, I will if you will...."

I kissed Jake before I let him on his feet.  I was nervous, but I made sure
I undressed first, not to make Jake feel uneasy.  After I was finished I
stood there, naked before Jake.  I think he was too nervous to take his
clothes off, so I helped him.  I slid his shirt up and off his arms,  I then
took off his socks, then I took off his pants.  And there before me, was
Jake in his natural beauty, if I wasn't so amazed by his beauty, I would
have gotten an instant hard-on.  I turned the water on and waited a second
for it to get warm.  I went over to Jake and embraced him.  I stepped inside
the shower and let the water hit me.  I saw Jake just standing there
watching me, he looked a little scared.

      I held my hand out, and Jake grabbed it.  He stepped inside and the
water was soon hitting both of us.  I held him, I don't know for how long
but I stood there hugging him, the water falling on our naked bodies.  I
grabbed the shampoo and squeezed it into my hand, Jake was still latched
onto me.  I rubbed it softly into Jakes hair and massaged his head with my
fingers.  Jake reached for the shampoo and did the same.  We both started
giggling, reguardless of the sorrow we were soon going to feel, we were not
going to let that interfere with this moment, this moment of ecstasy, this
moment of joy, this warm beautiful moment.

        We stepped out of the shower and got dressed in our suits.  Jake
looked really nice.  We  went downstairs and his mother was in a dress.  We
then headed to the wake.

           When we got there, there was I'd say, 15 family members already
parked there.  Laura immediately went over to them and started talking and
crying to each other.  I could see Jakes face, it was serious.  That face
didn't suit Jake, I like his face to be light and happy, but this was his
time, his time of sorrow, his time of mourning, his time of loss.

     I put my arm around Jake and we headed inside.  I walked up to the
coffin and kneeled, paying my respects.  Jake kneeled beside me, doing the
same.  Jake put his hands on the casket and starting crying,  Jake quickly
grabbed me, a pretty hard grip for such a skinny kid.  He just cried, he
cried harder than that day in the locker room,I held him, I comforted him,I
started crying too.  This is all too familiar.  I remember kneeling at the
casket, looking at that picture of my mom, the words kept repeating in my
head "goodbye, I'll never see you again".  Everytime those words came
through my head, I started to cry.

        Jake needed me now, I'd be damned if I left him.  I knew how bad I
wanted someone to love at my time of sorrow, I knew how bad it hurt, I
wasn't going to let Jake go through the same.  This is tragedy, this is
loss, this is pain.  I was going to always be there for Jake, I wouldnt let
anything bad touch him, I couldn't stop sorrow from putting its icy hands on
Jake, but I could help those icy fingers melt with my burning love for Jake.

          I helped Jake up and we sat down in the chairs,  we watched as
people went in and out, they cried, some stayed some left.

        "Lets all go to the backroom" and a few people left with her, they
all sat in there talking and laughing, not even paying the slightest
attention to what was going on.  But the people that truly mattered, the
people that truly loved, they stayed their ground, they stayed in here.  I
rubbed Jakes back, that reminded me of at my mothers wake, my father was
sitting there crying, and I was rubbing his back.

    Once Jake started to feel better, I got up and told him i was going to
check on his mom.  I went over to the other side of the room and sat with
Laura.

        "are you ok?"
        "Yes, im fine." she said through a haze of sorrow.
        "Just be with Jake, I'll be alright, I have family members to cheer
me up, Jake needs you."
        "ok...."  I gave her a kiss on the cheek before returning to Jake.

   As I walked back to Jake it sadenned me, it made me feel sad.  Jake
sitting there all alone, staring at the casket with watery eyes.  I
comforted him and held him the whole time.  It felt like it was an eternity,
but once it was over you wish it wasn't, thats how these things work.

           We (me Jake and his mom) went back to jakes house, and we all
watched a comedy tape, just to brighten up such a sad night.  We all laughed
and had a good time, but that happiness was overshadowed by grief, the
funeral was tomorrow.