Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2002 14:10:29 -0400 (EDT)
From:  <_lapis1@excite.com>
Subject: From hate to love: Chapter 4

Part 6 Jim's confession

Our families were exhausted as most of them went straight to bed after
dinner. I cleaned up the table and washed the dishes, meanwhile, Dan
watched TV with dad. I noticed that dad didn't talk much with mum during
the trip. I guess its because she was always occupied by Aunt Mary.

I decided to take my first step tonight. To tell him I love him but first I
got to figure out what to say and how to say. I was trying to search the
right word, the right expression, which spoke for my heart, my true
feeling. "Dan... this afternoon I sat on the beach with grains of
sand...when the sand slipped through my fingers...it felt good"...Jim!
Nobody wanted to know the detail... but I was trying to lead him...Noway!
When you listened to a song, what did you wait for? ...The
chorus?!...Right! Tell Dan the chorus...

Okay! What about this?

"Dan...Please listen carefully....I LOVE you." Great! It's simple, clear,
concrete and ......awkward.

You would like this one!

"Dan! Do you believe in destiny? I do."  Wow...hold on, we were not doing
drama here. Besides, what about he said he doesn't... Should I continue?!
In fact, it's quite funny and weird to argue with your own self. Anyway,
the self- talk went on and on and I corrected myself over and over. I felt
like a burning ant. "Come on Jim, think a good one. You don't have much
time left. Tell him before he goes to bed" I was anxious and frustrated. I
could hardly focus on my task. In a moment, I heard a loud crash and two
glasses broken into thousand pieces on the floor. Dan was the first one
arrived.

"Is everything alright?" he asked with concern.

I was too raged to answer. I just stood there and clenched my fists. I
found no ways to express my anger. Education I received simply didn't let
me to act impudently.

Dan first put all the broken pieces into the trashcan, swept the
floor. Then he left the kitchen and returned with slippers. He told me to
put them on, I followed what he said even though I was still clenching my
fists and raged. He then checked my fists and asked, "Anywhere hurt?" I
shook my head. "Good!" and he kissed my greased, dirty fists gently.
Amazingly, the kiss washed away my temper. Though I was not clamed, I was
no longer frustrated.

Dan proposed to do the work for me but I insisted to finish it on my
own. Realizing that he couldn't change my mind, he went back to the rest
room. I splashed some cold water on my face and started washing again. This
time with extra care. I suspected it's the magic kiss, or Dan's tenderness
cheered me up. An excellent idea popped up. YES! I made it.

When I left the kitchen, Dan called my name immediately. I could tell he
couldn't focus on the TV show since he returned from the kitchen. Probably
he was worrying about me. Before I showed up I blinked my eyes, relaxed my
face muscle, squeezed my cheerful smile and walked towards him. Dan
indicated me to sit next to him. Of course I would love to. I walked pass
Dad and sat down, meanwhile I stared at my silent father. There must be
something bad happen to him. He was cheerful, talkative but the old man
sitting there was not the usual him, it was a zombie. I felt Dan's butt
bumped against mine and stopped my analysis. I looked at him and frowned. I
didn't like to be interrupted when I thought seriously. Dan sneered and I
returned with a grimace. Then we both laughed.

Dan told me the plot of the movie and we sat there watching it silently. I
pretended that I was watching but I was actually repeating my speech again
and again in my mind.

An hour passed, dad was still there. My heart couldn't help screaming,
"Dad! Do my a favor, leave us alone." If he stayed here longer, probably I
would fuel my determination to tell. It had been a long day and I was
tired. I kept yawning; my eyelids were heavy. Okay! If we couldn't have any
privacy here, I'd better take Dan to our bedroom.

"Dan! Are you tired? If yes, may be we can go back..." I shrugged my
shoulders. Dan shook his head. Surprisingly, he was still fully awoke and
energetic. Well! It seemed that I didn't have choices. I watched the movie
with Dan for...Oh! I was sure how long did it last. Probably, I fell asleep
in the middle of the movie as I was woken by someone who kneaded my cheeks.

"Wake up sleepy head." Dan said.

"The movie is over?" I rubbed my eyes and asked.

"Yeah! Go get some sleep."

"Ok!" I stood up, left my seat. I thought Dan would follow but he didn't.
He was still sitting on the sofa, flipping TV channels.

"Dan. Aren't you coming?" I asked with anger. I would only be angry in two
circumstances, either I was sleepy or nervous. As you could tell I was
going through both statuses right now, I felt like a volcano going to erupt
in a minute but the stupid Dan didn't seem to recognize, indeed he
answered,

"Later... Sleep tight babe!"

I bound up the stairs, slammed the bedroom door. Dan was a stupid fool, an
idiot and a dummy. Couldn't he sense how much I want to be with him? He
left me here just for the old crap movie. FINE! I quitted. I took off my
t-shirt and short, threw them on the floor. Then I went into the bathroom,
brushed my teeth. There was a big mirror; I stood there and watching
myself. I saw a short, skinny body. I looked pale; luckily I had no
freckles and pimples. My thighs were thin but they still have some muscles.
My collarbones were obvious. ENOUGH!... I closed my eyes, turned around. If
I kept doing that I would end up suffer from all the ill feelings and cast
myself down.

I lay on my bed, snuggled myself into my pillow. Once I closed my eyes, Dan
pictures popped into my heads. His smile. His blonde hair blushed by
breeze. His board shoulders. Aw!... I couldn't take this anymore. I got to
tell him. Then I left my bed, run to the door. "Awo!" I shouted, my
forehead knocked something and it was... Dan! He did give me a jump.

"DAN!! What are you doing here? Why don't you come in?" I asked.

Dan nodded hesitantly. I stood aside and he walked into our bedroom. Once I
closed the door, he drew me into his arms. We held each other a while, I
put my arms on his chest, raised my head and asked, "Are you okay?" Dan
didn't answer. Indeed, he tightened his embrace and slightly lifted my body
up and sniffled. I wondered did I get the same mint boy scent like his as I
used his shampoo and toothpaste. Anyway, a minute or so, he released me and
finally uttered, "You smell nice." Then he went into the bathroom.

When Dan came out from the bathroom, I was already lying on my bed. Dan
kissed me good night, switched off the light and went back to his bed. Even
though I was tired, I couldn't sleep. My heart kept repeating the speech.
Be honest, I was scared and I did need some time to boost my guts. I didn't
know how long did I sink into my thought but I was waken by the chime
downstairs.

"Dan?"

No answer ...but I didn't care. I must tell him.

"Dan. I thought about our relationship this afternoon... When you told me
you loved me, I was in ECSTASY... I didn't tell you my truth feeling
because... because I was... scared. Well! I set myself limits and I know
that they stop me opening my heart to you... Please understand that I used
to set limits and... You know! My life will be lost without them. But if
the limits become barriers of our love, PLEASE... help me to break through
it. Dan....... I LOVE YOU. Would you accept a jumpy person be your love?"

I receive no feedback but steady breathing from the other side. Anyway, I
was glad that I told him my true feelings. Now I could sleep... At first I
tossed and turned because I was excited, I was actually proud of myself. As
time went by, I managed to stable my emotions and I was slumberous. I was
facing the wall, lying on my right side with my right arm stretching over
my head. Then I felt my mattress arched, a warm, soft body touched my
back. "Dan?" I whispered.

Even though he didn't answer, I knew it's him. I remembered the feeling
when we touched. Dan slid his arms around my waist, kissed the back of my
head, the back of my neck, then my left shoulder. "Dan! Say something...
please" I couldn't help myself squirm. Let say I was trying to escape.
However, Dan was the one in charge, he gripped me firmly and remained
silent; he leaned forwards and kissed my cheeks and my left ear... I didn't
know what he was thinking. I was lost... Lost in his body heat...Lost in
the intimacy. I could feel hot air from his nose and his hot breath on my
ear; I guessed he was going to whisper something...BUT I was wrong. Dan
opened his mouth; he licked my earlobe a while then SUCKED it. He sucked it
liked a starving baby. I sighed and wriggled. The sensation simply drove me
insane. His mouth was warm, wet and muscle inside was soft... I bit my
lower lips to stop myself screaming. It was too much for me...Couldn't you
believe one could give another so much brand new sensation just in a one
fine day.

When Dan sucked my earlobe, his hand slid into my vest, touching my
belly. His fingertips were making circles on my stomach, then they went
upward; he didn't touch my ribs this time, indeed he kept going upward...
"OH GOD!" I cried out. Dan kneaded my right nipple. My whole body jerked
and I gripped his upper arm. This was the first time I was touched there, I
knew it's a best way to pleasure girls but I didn't know boys felt the
same.Dan did the same thing on my left one and received the same
feedback...  I was STUNNED. I was EXCITED. I was BREATHLESS but I was also
HELPLESS. He was a lot stronger than I. Also as I couldn't tell what came
next, I could only wish that his sexual tension would not overwhelmed his
tenderness. Somehow I managed to hold Dan's hand. Though he didn't stop
fondling my tits, I could postpone his movement.

"Dan!" I uttered.

"Dan...if you...remain silent, I..." I gasped. Oh lord! He kneaded me
again.

" I bite my tongue...NOW." Great! I was actually threatening my boyfriend.

Guess what! My threat worked. Dan released my earlobe, stopped teasing my
nipples and placed his hand on my heart. Then he whispered. "I heard what
you say." He smiled victoriously. "I am happy ...and my answer is YES." He
snuggled his head into my nape.

"Huh?!" I asked, not sure what was the yes for.

"I say Yes...Yes I accept you be my jumpy love."

I didn't know how to put my feeling into words. I felt like flowers
blooming in a sunny warm day, I was full of live, content and blissful... I
turned to face Dan, my love. Oh god! He looked beautiful under the
moonlight. He looked like sculpture, all his features are just perfect. He
was so beautiful that I couldn't take my watery eyes off him. After the
long day and the intense feelings, I lost my strength. My voice was weak
but I managed to whisper.

"I love you"

Then our lips locked.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As this is an erotic love story, I decided to put some intimacy into the
story. While I write this chapter, I keep making changes. It seems that I
lose the ability to write what I picture and my words seem could not show
the passion. Anyway, I have tired my best and I HOPE you enjoy reading this
chapter.

I have to apologize that I made so many typing, spelling and grammar
mistakes in the previous chapters. When I read it again, my jaw dropped. A
reader suggests me finding someone to proof read. I wonder would anyone
kindly offer me your help, as most of my friends are not native English
speakers.

Comments, suggestions are all welcome. Please send to _lapis1@excite.com

Plus a title: From hate to love. Believe me! Your opinions mean a lot to me
as I am losing confidence to write.

Cheers,

Steve