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That's how long I waited. Three whole days.
But let me explain, ok?
That first day, I didn't call him because I thought it might make me look desperate. I didn't want Parker thinking that this was my very FIRST phone number from a cute boy, you know? Even though...um...well...you know....
...This was my FIRST phone number from a cute boy!!!
The second day? Well that was just an experiment to see if he'd call me before I called him. Honestly. I just wanted to see if Parker would maybe take the initiative and call me up and see what I was up to. Simultaneously taking all of the pressure off of my shoulders to do the same, you know? But...he didn't. And by the time I had an opportunity to even consider calling him first...it was a bit too late in the evening to do that without being creepy. So...procrastination won the day.
Then there was the third day.
I was going to call him early, but I stopped myself because I was afraid of him...um...well, you know...he might um.....
FUCK!!! I don't know what I was so scared of! None of this made ANY damn sense to me at all! And I was so infatuated that I almost resented the feeling for keeping me soooooo far from my usual, rational, pattern of thinking. This was so bizarre! I just wanted Parker to love me. That's all. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself by trying to get him to talk to me or anything. I just wanted him to say, "I love you, dude." And then, everything will fall into place and be perfect from that one moment until the end of forever. I mean, is that too much to ask for when it comes to young love? Is it?
I guess today makes day four, doesn't it? That's not good. I could feel the pressure on me to make some kind of attempt to talk to him. It was like a frayed rope, being tightened around my throat, the spindles and loose strands sticking and scratching my exposed flesh...as if the strangulation of fear wasn't enough.
Awww...he's WAITING on me to talk to him, isn't he? Shit...
I had two choices...
I could continue being a total coward and not stepping up to the plate to at least take a shot at getting Parker's attention...which I would regret for the rest of my natural life.
Or...I could possibly make a total idiot out of myself by calling him up and trying to let him know that I'm seriously interested in...you know...maybe, having my first boyfriend ever. Which I might also regret for the rest of my natural life...but only if he rejects me. And...well, he hasn't given me any reason to make me think that he would. So...I should just TRY, right? Even if I screw it up, I could at least say that I tried. That I was willing to give someone my heart without any bullshit whatsoever, at least for ONCE in my life!
Yeah...I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to call him. And...if it all goes well, then I'm just going to ask him out on a date. I mean, I won't say the word 'date' or anything. I'll be cool about it all. Like...the 'date' thing will be pretty much understood without me having to say it, right? I can suggest that we just go out and grab a couple of hoagies from the sandwich place down the street from the comic book store without looking like I'm just trying to get in his pants. I mean, I JUST met him! I don't want him to think the worst of me. I just...I want him to notice that I notice him. Like...in a major way. A major way!
It took another five minutes of thinking before I actually got up and grabbed my phone. But I didn't call Parker right away. Instead, I put it next to me on the bed. I tried to come up with a few cool things to say to him before I just threw myself into the heat of battle like that. I even thought of a few 'get out of jail free' comments, just in case a silence fell between us. I wrote them down on the back of an envelope next to me, so I wouldn't forget them in case of an emergency. Then I held the phone in my lap for a few minutes more. I was GOING to call! I swear. I just...got this jittery feeling in my chest, and I was waiting for that to go away first before trying to contact him with the trembling voice of a bleating sheep! That's all.
Oh, magic 'GFD' poster board...please give me some kind of a...
My phone rang.
I grabbed my cell with a quickness that would have made Billy the Kid proud! My heart stopping in mid beat with the thrill of thinking that maybe it was Parker calling me to make plans for us!
It was Gary's number from the store. He's my friend and all, but to say that I was extremely disappointed would be a severe understatement. Believe me.
I answered, and he was like, "Hey, I wanted to let you know that I got the word from the head office already. And this new "GFD" poster has officially been cancelled! So...it's a total collector's item as of tomorrow morning, man! That means exclusive rights for us 'Day-Hards', right?"
"Yeah. I kinda figured that would happen. Cool." I said, hoping that he didn't hear the gentle pout in my voice when I said it.
"You alright, bud?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little tired, I suppose." I lied.
"Well, listen, I've only got one of these bad boys left. Any collector hearing the news is going to come snooping around for it in the next day or two, I thought I'd give you the heads up. I bought a second one, myself, to keep one in the package. It might be worth big money someday if it remains untouched. Do you want me to put the other one on hold for ya?" He asked.
"Nah. Thanks, Gary...but I'm tapped. Totally. Besides, I plan to take good care of the one I've got. You can bet on that one."
"Suit yourself." Then Gary asked, "Can I place a safe bet on you telling me what happened with you a few days ago? Can I do that? That's the real question here." I let him know that I was a bit befuddled by his comment, but he just chuckled and said, "You and the NEW kid! Come on, man! I'm not completely blind. You started taking peeks and hiding stiffys the second Parker entered the store. Hehehe, hell, I don't blame you. That boy is gorgeous! It's not like I didn't notice. He's prettier than my last three girlfriends."
"Can I just say that I hate you sooooo much for setting me up like that?" I said.
"No, you don't! Hehehe, I did you a solid, and you know it!" Gary waited for me to deny it...but I didn't. "Yeah, I thought so! So what happened? Tell me."
"We...talked." I said, feeling a heated blush rise up in my cheeks.
"'Talked'? What do you mean, you 'talked'? C'mon, you're holding out on me."
"I don't know, Gary. We talked. I mean, he's really...cool. We traded phone numbers and stuff. I just don't want to make any assumptions or anything, that's all."
Gary told me, "Dude, a boy like THAT...who's gay, and shows some interest in you, that you share a huge "GFD" fanboy connection with? You need to jump on that! Pronto! And he's new in town. So technically, the only person he really knows is YOU! How awesome is that?"
I fidgeted a little bit, and I said, "Well, I'm gonna call him and stuff. I guess I'm just a bit nervous, that's all. I've never done this sort of thing before. I never had the opportunity." Then I asked him, "Did it seem like he liked me? While we were in the store, I mean? What do you think?"
Gary said, "I think you should stop worrying about 'padding your fall' and just take the leap of faith already. At the very least, you'll have a date for the next "GFD" movie, right?"
"Dude, that's months away. He'll forget all about me by then."
"Not if you keep reminding him, he won't." He chuckled. "Kevin...whatever you're worried, you just need to leapfrog over it for a couple of seconds so you can talk to the guy. I've only met him two or three times in the store, and I think he's awesome. So don't let your insecurities get the best of you. K? Just be yourself."
"Hehehe, thanks, 'Coach'. But I don't think that works for boys like Parker who are SO obviously out of my league." I said.
"Hey...you being you was enough to get his attention, right? It should be enough to keep it."
So...that's what he told me just before we hung up. I figured...that's believable enough, right? That maybe Parker just...I don't know...maybe he has a 'thing' for guys who are way way waaaaay beneath him. I know that sounds insecure on my part, and that's probably because it is. Seriously. I won't hide that fact at all. But that was the only collection of straws that I had to grasp at right now.
I looked at my phone. It seemed to be looking back at me. Wondering what the hell I was staring at it for. That's when I picked it up...and I called Parker up.
I don't know why I was hoping he wouldn't answer, when getting him to answer was the whole point of me calling in the first place. But the anxiety constricted itself around me anyway.
"Hello?" Came his voice from the other side of the phone. Wow...I had almost forgotten how cute Parker's voice was.
"Hey. I mean, Hi...dude, it's me..." I said.
"Kevin? AWESOME! I was hoping you would call!" He's excited to hear from me? Really? That's cool!
"Oh, yeah, well...you know...I was just getting wrapped up in stuff. You know?" I attempted to sound nonchalant about it all, but I doubt that my eagerness was 'disguised' all that much.
"I was actually just getting on my laptop now. There were a few rumors that they were going to release stills and artwork from "GFD: Resurrection" soon. I know I'm obsessed, but I was trying to see if I could get a sneak peek."
Grinning to myself, I said, "Nah, they're keeping that stuff under wraps. There have been a bunch of rumors, but..."
I heard a loud gasp for air, and wondered what the heck had happened. That's when Parker suddenly told me, in a trembling voice, "It LEAKED!!!"
"What? What leaked?"
"The "Gone From Daylight: Resurrection" full length trailer!!! Somebody LEAKED it! Like a whole two weeks early!!!"
"Hehehe, what?" I thought he was joking. I really did. "No they didn't. It's a hoax or something. Or like...you know...a fanmade trailer?"
But I could almost hear Parker bouncing around in his seat. "I'm NOT kidding! This is coming from the studio itself! Evidently, some bootlegs got out, so they decided they'd go for an early release! I'm LOOKING at the YouTube window right NOW! It hasn't even been up for an HOUR yet, and it's already approaching one MILION views! I think this is legit!"
"I totally don't believe you right now! Hehehe!"
"Dude, I'm serious! Get on your computer! Right NOW! Look it up!" He said.
So, I did. I turned my computer on and went to YouTube to see what he was talking about while he was holding on the other end of the line. I could swear that I heard some noises on his end, and then the sound of a baby crying. "What is that?"
"Oh, yeah. That's my baby sister, Jasmine. I'm just watching her for a bit." Then he says, "Did you find it???"
"I'm searching now..." A few seconds later...sure enough...a link for the brand new "Gone From Daylight" sequel was staring me right in the face. Listed with a bunch of reaction videos from fans who all looked to be in a state of total fanboy shock over what they had just seen! Some of them posted less than five minutes ago. They don't do this for fanmade trailers and hoaxes. Was this real? Like...REALLY real! "JESUS!!! Omigod, they released it early!!!"
Suddenly, Parker told me, "DON'T WATCH IT!!!"
"What? Are you kidding me right now? Don't watch it?"
"Kevin, what are you doing right now?" He asked. The question surprised me so much that I wasn't really sure what to tell him.
"Umm...nothing. I don't think."
He's like, "Dude, I can't leave the house, but do you wanna come over? Like...how long will it take for you to skate over here?"
A chill ran through me. My breath turned cold. If only for a second or two. "Hehehe...really? Like...right now?"
"I PROMISE, I'm not gonna watch it! I'll wait until you get here! I just...UGH! I wanna see this with somebody else who can really appreciate it, you know? You're a fanboy, and I'm a fanboy...I wanna do it! C'mon, Kevin! Come do it with me!" He giggled.
Five words that are guaranteed to have me racing over to a cute gay boy's house? 'Come do it with me'....
"Ok!!! I'm on my way!" I said. "DON'T watch it before I get there, though! SWEAR?"
"I swear! I swear! Just hurry up! PLEASE! I'm gonna be DYING until you get here!" He said, which only caused my heart to inflate even more than it already had just from hearing his voice in the first place.
"Alright! I'll be there in about 20 minutes!" I was suddenly refueled with this limitless source of infatuated energy! I got all cleaned up and ready and grabbed my skateboard, only mumbling a few words to my mom before leaving the house. Promising her that I'd be back before it was too late. Should couldn't have stopped me from rushing over to Parker's house if she tried. Hehehe! I was just way too amped at this point! A new "GFD" movie trailer AND time to spend with the most delicious gay teen boy walking the face of the planet? It's ME for the WIN!!!
I don't think that I've ever seen the neighborhood scroll past me so fast before. I was boarding at top speed, weaving my way around people who dared to walk slow in my path. I did make sure to keep out for killer busses this time though. That I was careful about.
Why was I shaking like this? Was it the leaked movie trailer...? Or was it something else?
When I got to Parker's house, I did a quick breath check, and I fanned out my shirt to make sure that I wasn't sweaty or anything. Luckily, there was a decent breeze in the early evening. So, nothing to worry about there.
I was nervous, but just cleared my throat, walked up to Parker's front door, and rang the doorbell.
I was already shaking in my sneakers, just waiting for Parker to open the door. Imagine my surprise when an old boy, about 17 or 18, opened the door instead. I might have been intimidated and compelled to simply walk away, had I not recognized that same level of beauty in him as I had in Parker. Same blond hair. Same amazing eyes. "Yeah?" He said, with a bit of a standoffish attitude.
"I'm...I'm looking for Parker?" I replied meekly.
His eyes examined me for a quick moment, then he craned his neck back, and he called out to the back of the house, "PARK! Your 'stripper-gram' is here!" And he opened the screen door for me, but once I stepped inside, he didn't invite me in any further.
Luckily, Parker was quick to hurry over to the front door and, much to my surprise, he gave me a hug! "It took you long enough!!!" He smirked. "Come on! We've gotta watch this trailer! Like...NOW!" He yanked me further inside, and Parker and I hurried through his house to his room! Hehehe, so much for the visitor's tour. But I didn't mind! Most boys would KILL for a chance to have someone like Parker yank them into his house and whisk you away to his bedroom for a good time!
Just as we were almost out of earshot, I heard the other boy shout out, "NERDS!!!!" Just before Parker shut his bedroom door.
Parker was quick to tell me, "Don't pay any attention to him. That's my brother, Jason. Hehehe, he'll never understand. You know?" God, I had really missed Parker's smile. I barely had a chance to drink in the immaculate beauty and grace of him when I barged into his house...but now, I'm looking at him, and it's like I'm bewitched all over again. "Am I right?" He said.
"Huh?" Shit...I should be paying attention.
"I said, everybody should be so lucky. You know...to get excited about something like this." I think Parker was a bit more bashful about saying it the second time around. As though he was worried that he was overdoing it. When in reality, it was me that was falling behind here.
"Yes! Totally!" I said. "Everybody should have a moment when they're a fanboy about something in their lives."
Parker's whole face lit up. "EXACTLY!!! Omigod, Kevin! You GET it!" He smiled. "I mean...for some people it's the Superbowl, or a new album from a certain band that they love, or the season premiere of their favorite TV show..."
"Or a new video game..." I said.
"Or some new high tech computer program..." He said.
"It's just like...arrrgh!!!! All types of AWESOME! Jason just doesn't get into it, I guess."
I happened to look over at the corner of Parker's bedroom...and lo and behold, I saw his "Gone From Daylight" memorabilia collection right there in full display. Hehehe, wow...it was a lot like my own, but he definitely had some stuff that I had never seen before. And I plan to perv over every INCH of it once this trailer thing was finished! I said, "Maybe Jason hasn't found his fanboy moment yet."
Parker responded with, "Yeah. Maybe not." He saw me eyeing his stuff on the wall and on his shelves, and he gave me a smile. Then he's like, "Unh unh! no way! The trailer comes first! You had me waiting for too long already!"
"It wasn't MY fault! I had to get here, you know?"
"Yeah well, Jason's only gonna watch Jasmine for a little while before he comes trying to pawn her off on me again, so I wanna see this before he comes knocking and interrupts everything." He said. Then, he actually smiled at me and touched my arm. "I'm glad you came over, Kevin. That's only gonna make this all the more awesome." And he sat down to get his computer screen ready for the trailer.
He let me sit next to him, which was a good thing, seeing as that one touch on my arm was giving me a full blown erection that I couldn't control. Not because there was anything sexual about it. I think I was just affected by the swoon and the surge of being here...in his bedroom...with him being close enough to touch. In my virgin mind, that was about as 'erotic' as it got most of the time.
Parker and I looked at each other, and we shook a few trembles out of our arms as he got ready to play the video. "Ok..." He said. "...Here we go. Three...two...one..." Click.
There's something magical that happens when a fanboy watches a highly anticipated movie trailer for the first time. Something that takes you over, mind, body, and soul...and creates an orgasmic rush like nothing you've ever experienced before.
It begins with the green screen. The 'Approved Preview' notice that, while it once seemed like such a quick flash for most movie trailers before it, now seems to last for an eternity and a half. I think the creators actually make it last an extra second or two longer than usual, just to torture us fanboys into a frenzy that can't be broken until the trailer is 'done' with us.
Then...it goes away...and fanboys collectively hold their breaths.
What follows...is a surreal experience that gets better and better with every timeless moment of its duration. Sweeping music rushes in to ensnare the senses and take hold of your emotions, while a myriad of images are dashed across the screen in vibrant color. At this point, you are unable to blink. Unable to turn away. If your curtains were to suddenly catch on fire...you would wait another 30 seconds before getting up to put them out. You are locked in.
This is only the hook. And by the time you realize it, you've already been caught. Characters that we fanboys have been reading about for oh so long, are now brought to life for the very first time. Spoken phrases of dialogue that we remember from the books, learned tales from our own current mythology that we could once only picture in our mind's eye are now blazing across the screen with flare and fire and rotating camera angles and mind-blowing special effects! Fight scenes, fast and furiously choreographed, and the tender love of two teen vampire boys...displayed shamelessly for the world to see. It's so easy to get carried away. My breathing increases, my adrenaline builds, my palms begin to sweat...to a true fanboy...witnessing that first new trailer in all its glory...it feels a lot like first love.
But, as I said...this is only the hook.
The trailer starts with a jarring montage of horrors, the lead character, 'Justin', writhing in pain. Quick cuts of his eyes glowing gold...then red, with him holding his stomach and curled up in a tight ball on a mattress...tears, and blood, and madness. Then a moment of darkness. Silence...before he suddenly awakens with a jump, and we hear 'Taryn's' words..."YOU'RE AWAKE!!!" Once the music begins, and the studio logo appears and passes...we brace ourselves for our two minute adventure...and quickly realize that even now, we are not ready.
Parker and I were so involved in the trailer that I hadn't even noticed how closely we were sitting together. Mouths agape, a half smile turned up in both corners. A few recognized sections of the story cause us to gasp, the chairs bouncing with us as we wiggled and squirmed in excitement, almost wanting to scream...but afraid that we might miss something if we do.
I hear Parker say to himself, "Ooh! Is that 'Jeremy'? Black lab coat..." Soon followed by, "Yes! The WOLVES! Sweet!"
However, this is only the introduction. Every fanboy knows that the trailer, in all of 120 seconds, has an entire story arc of its own. One that plays out like a small movie in itself. The first act of the trailer is just the foundation. It sets the tone. It brings you into the fold. Then...it begins to tighten its grip.
The music that has led you into a false feeling of 'safety' starts to magnify your emotions gradually. Half way through the trailer may be a quiet moment, one that you might mistake for a lull in the action. But this is not so. It is the split second moment of silence before the inevitable sucker punch! This is where they pull out the big stops, the music suddenly becomes EPIC and the images on the screen saturate your brain with promises of what's to come! The clips become faster, the edits spliced together with a touch of chaos, and things escalate to the climax of the second act of the trailer.
It may only be half over, but it is at this point that a fanboy loses muscle control. The joy...the overwhelming JOY becomes too much for you to contain. You feel silly, but helpless...as your feet begin to stomp beneath you, and your arms begin to flail, and your heart...while already beating at record speeds...attempts to double its efforts to keep up with the surge of pure electricity your brain is producing from seeing your dreams being realized on screen.
It's like someone has taken your every fantasy, the hours upon HOURS of time you spend being completely submerged in this emotionally potent dream world...and gave it LIFE! And movement! And characters! And a soundtrack! Everything that you previously imagined is suddenly smashed to pieces, and a shared reality is born. One that you can share with every other fanboy on the planet! A consensus has been made. THIS is what we have all been waiting to see!
Parker and I remained riveted to the screen, each of us grinning and patting one another on the arm, leg, or shoulder, as the trailer began to build in intensity. Then...the sucker punch! Adam Turner, 'Justin'...eyes glowing red...his face smeared and dripping with blood. From there, things take a darker turn, and the trailer truly kicks into high gear...showing us all it has to offer.
Normally, I would isolate myself in my room to hide my enthusiastic squeals and hyperactive gestures of pure delight, for fear of having anyone see me surrending so much of myself to an online movie trailer. But as I saw Parker having the same jittery reaction next to me...it truly gave me the permission to totally FREAK OUT! Um...er...if only a little bit.
Being able to experience the euphoria of seeing my favorite story come to life is one thing, but being able to share in that excitement with someone that I had so quickly come to care about...WOW! We were giggling now, lightly shoving one another as we trembled from head to toe, begging for more! Both of us jerking uncontrollably as we said things like...
"The subway fight!!! Holy shit! That looks badass!"
"The arcade!!! Chad!!!"
"Oh no! Trevor!!!"
It is at this point that the fanboy trailer hits its peak. This is deciding factor. This is where the ultimate punch is delivered. What you're seeing is so action packed that your brain gets overloaded. You can no longer comment on what's going on. You need every last bit of your focus just to absorb it all. The music becomes more epic than you ever thought possible, and at this point...your heart starts to pour out a sensation of chills that raises goosebumps on the skin. You feel a pressure in the back of your throat, and your eyes begin to tear up, but you don't exactly understand why. You can't fight them. Fighting the emotion is a lost cause at this point. This is where they execute their master plan to leave you with a lasting impression that will stay with you until the day you're sitting in that movie theater, waiting for the lights to dim and the projector to roll. This is when you're taken to the very HEIGHT of your emotional experience...and then suddenly cut off in mid gasp. As if the trailer is telling you, 'If you want to see more...you'll just have to come see the movie, won't you?' And the fanboys scream out, in some sort of bizarre, near orgasmic, symphony..."YES!!!!! WE'LL BE THERE!!!!"
Parker and I twitch and wiggle and shiver and squeal as the trailer vigorously makes love to the visions we once held so sacred in our minds while reading the "Gone From Daylight" series of books...and JUST after the movie title is displayed on the screen...JUST seconds before the release date is revealed, and the whole thing comes to an end...a few short clips of 'Justin' fighting tooth and nail in a dark graveyard, punches, kicks, blocks, backflips, and all is rapidly shown. Then a dark hand brutally clutches his throat...slamming him backwards and holding up against a tree...with a dark mask of shadows moving into frame to stare directly him, face to face, with a menacing hiss!
The screen goes blank...
The trailer is over...
And Parker and I look at each other with our mouths wide open, attempting to breathe again. Half laughing. Half still in shock.
A true fanboy always needs a moment to recover. This is an emotional climax that takes a few seconds to process. Every time.
Then...the joy bubbles up within us. The feeling intensifies. You don't want to cry, but you get misty eyed, regardless.
And we both let out a huge sigh, before sucking in more wind and screaming out loud! I don't know if what we were doing with our hands could be considered a 'high five', but our arms weren't really under our control at the moment. The fangasm had rule over everything now! We shoved each other, slapped at each other, yelled and laughed and stomped our feet as Parker immediately said, "DUDE!!! We HAVE to watch that again! Like...RIGHT NOW!!!"
"DO IT!!! Do it! Do it! DO IT!!!" I squeaked.
He didn't hesitate to hit play again. When a fanboy watches a trailer for the second time, a third time....a fourth, fifth, and sixth, time...they only get more excited. The shock to the system dulls, only slightly, but allows us room to get even more details and understanding of what's going on. The repeated viewings only enhance the flavor...making us salivate with an even more savage hunger for the main course.
"Dude, what the HELL???" Parker grinned. "They look like they TRIPLED the budget from the first movie! Is that really Adam Turner doing all of that??? He's kicking ASS right now! JESUS!"
"I KNOW, right??? I think he's doing all of his own stuff too!" I said.
We both shouted at the same time, and Parker said, "Justin and Chad on the TRAIN! Holy shit!!! That looks awesome!"
Then...I don't really know what came over me...but I found my brain and my hormones suddenly join forces to conspire against me. It happened so fast that I didn't have a chance to stop myself. It was like...all of this adrenaline...this hypersensitive FURY of excited vibrations, just took a hold of me...
And I looked at Parker's super cute FACE, and his smile, and his amazing eyes, and...
Without any self control whatsoever...I LUNGED forward and smashed my lips against his with a passion that I'm pretty sure surprised the both of us!
Oh God! What was I doing???
I just...I couldn't help myself! I was breathing so hard. Sooooo hard. It wasn't until a few seconds later that I realized...
...Despite his initial surprise...once Parker had relaxed a bit...
...He started to kiss me back.