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Parker's lips were so unimaginably soft.
That's what I remember most from that panicked moment of lustful surrender.
Parker's kiss was so delicate that I almost felt as though the rushed slamming of my lips against his was going to leave a bruise. His kiss was so gentle. Tender. Almost timid in its exquisite delivery. And despite the sheer TERROR that I felt for giving in to my hysteria and practically 'mouth raping' him the way that I did...it was that bashfully tender kiss that made me stay glued to him for as long as humanly possible. Parker was going to have to physically push me away to get me off of him now!
What was I doing? And why was he letting me do it? I should stop! I should um....I don't know! I should give him a chance to at least say 'no'. Or ask me what the hell I was thinking when I just lunged forward and kissed him on the lips for no reason. I can't just go around ATTACKING cute boys like this! What am I? Some sort of psycho???
Still, even as a hundred worse case scenario thoughts raced through my mind at the speed of light...it wasn't the fear of rejection that made me tremble the way I was trembling. It took a minute or two to actually realize what was happening here.
Parker was startled at first. I could tell by the way he defensively cringed from the sudden 'punch' of the moment. But once he felt my lips on his...it was like I could feel all of the tension leave him a little bit at a time. First...his shoulders relaxed. Then his arms. Then the spongy softness of his stomach muscles. I know, because I had to put my hand on the side of his hip for balance. Then...a warm breath left him, in one long sigh...his lips getting even softer than before as they began to move and write in time with my own. I can't describe the sensation. It was like the warm petals of a fully blossomed flower. With just a hint of morning dew lingering on the graceful petals, offered up to the Summer Sun. Moist. Sweet. Oh so graceful.
The terror didn't return to me until I realized that it was Parker that I was kissing.
How many boys had he kissed before? How did I measure up? Do I measure up at all? He's too hot. No, seriously, he's TOO damn HOT! I'm gonna cum all over myself just from this kiss! I can feel it! My underwear are already damp with the threat of a major eruption, and I don't even have the breath to tell him to wait a second while I get my wits about me!
What am I DOING??? How the hell did I get the guts to even attempt kissing a boy this perfect?
I suddenly noticed how loud our breathing was in the room. And as Parker's hand reached up to rest lightly on my elbow, his body scooting a little closer to me, I felt an extra sensation of wetness being swiped across the surface of my lips. Slowly, even 'experimentally', at first...but then with a bit more courage as our kiss increased in intensity. So lost in passion, I parted my lips a bit more...scooting closer to him as well...and used my own tongue to further coax his out of hiding.
It didn't take much motivation at all. In fact...once I gave him the green light, Parker moaned sensually and hugged me close as more of his tongue spilled into mouth, creating an adrenaline rush in me that left me completely disoriented in a way where gravity itself couldn't help to give me any sense of direction. Oh God...I'm kissing Parker! I'm KISSING him!!! What the hell is going on here???
I was so hard that I began to feel a miserable ache throbbing on the underside of my engorged shaft, causing me to squirm and wiggle helplessly in my seat, SO unsure of what to do with this exhilarating new flurry of feverish thrills bubbling up within me. You'd think that getting what you always wanted from the sexiest blond boy on Earth would somehow give the butterflies in your stomach a rest. But if anything...this one extended kiss between us made them 100 times WORSE! Jesus Christ...my whole BODY was on fire!
I'd never kissed a boy before! I mean, am I even doing this right? the hardest part was trying to figure out what to do with my hands. I mean, I always read that this kind of thing just sort of 'happens' and your instincts take over, making everything all sweet and sexy and natural. But I didn't feel that way at ALL! I felt so clumsy, trying to find a way to keep my balance while his kiss was making me so dizzy, all while trying to hold him in a way that was 'lovely' but not 'lustful'. Like...I didn't want to grope him in a way that was too familiar, you know? I just...I wanted to hold him. Heh. That's all.
Parker was warm. I liked the feel of him beneath the palm of my awkwardly placed palm. He was so slim, but not skinny. He had some boyish definition to him, but it was still kind of soft and spongy. I really liked that. Parker was no athlete. More like that really cute boy next door. The kind of boy that made you remember what it was like to fall madly in love with your best friend as kid. No real build up, hehehe...you just found yourself wrestling with him on your bedroom floor and suddenly thought, 'WOW! I'm in love now!' Parker had this really innocent allure to him that made me crave him more than he ever could have expected ahead of time. God, I hope he doesn't...like...write me off as some sort of a creep after this kiss is over.
That would crush me, internally. It really would.
I was falling further into my lustful lullaby when a few steps towards Parker's bedroom door suddenly got our attention. Our lips were 'yanked' apart by the sudden shock of the moment, and we fearfully scooted away from one another, wiping our lips on the back of our hands as we heard his older brother, Jason, loudly knocking on the frame of his bedroom door.
"Hey, squirt! Take Jazzy and look after her for a while. I'm going over to Elliott's for a while." He said, gently handing the baby over to Parker, and then hesitating as he noticed, what must have been, the guiltiest looks on our faces! "Ummm...exactly what are you two doing in here?"
"Nothing!" I blurted out first.
"Yeah. Nothing. We're just chilling out. What?" Parker said.
Jason gave us a suspicious look, but I guess he had other things to worry about. So he didn't push too much further on the issue. "Well...whatever. I'll be back around 8 or something. Cool? Jazzy just ate, so she'll be asleep soon. Just keep her in sight at all times, alright?"
"I know." Parker said.
"I mean it, dude. You're in charge. Don't fuck it up." Jason told him. Then he threw him a bag full of 'baby supplies' and said, "Oh yeah, and don't look now, but Jazzy needs a diaper change! Have a blast, geek squad!"
Five words that are guaranteed to break up a hot and steamy make out session with a cute gay boy? 'Jazzy needs a diaper change.'
Something that became rather apparent the moment Jason hightailed it out of the room. Babies can be quite...um...aromatic when they want to be. Ugh!
Embarrassed, Parker blushed a deep shade of red, and apologized softly as he heard his brother leaving out of the front door to head to his friend's house. Being the duty bound sibling that he was, he got up from the bed and gently lifted his sister, Jasmine, up into his arms, grabbing the bag of materials on the bed next to him. "Sorry. Don't worry...I'll take her in the other room. Just, uhhh...goof around on YouTube for a while or something for a few minutes. I'll be right back, ok?"
"Um...sure. Yeah. It's cool." I said quietly.
"Honestly. I'm sorry, k? I just...well, you know..."
"Yeah. Totally. Go." I told him, and he gave me a really shy smile before taking his baby sister into the other room to take care of her current situation.
But it was only a few seconds before my brain started working overtime, and I started worrying about what just happened. I mean...was it ok for me to be kissing him like that? Did he like it? Does he want to continue when he comes back into the room? Or...I mean...shit! I shouldn't be letting this drive me crazy the way it is. I should be super happy about this, shouldn't I? It's fine! It's totally fine. He was kissing me back, right? That means he had to be into it. He could have pushed me away at any time if he didn't want to make out. So...yeah. It's cool.
Well...unless he was just wrapped up in the moment like I was. The new "Gone From Daylight" trailer, and the adrenaline, and the whole novelty of meeting another gay boy in town...it could just be a super strong puppy love infatuation or something. It's not like I can promise my heart to him forever at this point. We just met. We barely know each other at all.
I know that he's hot though. Really hot. Really, really, REALLY, friggin' HOT!
I'm thinking too much about this. I should let it go. Just let it go and concentrate on getting my breathing back to normal before I pass out, face down, on his bedroom carpet.
Hoping to get my head together, I got up on my feet and tried to move around a little bit. Just to keep my blood circulating to parts of my body that weren't my insanely hard penis. DAMN, that boy knows how to kiss! I don't have anything to compare it to, but I highly doubt that any boy could be any better at it. My head would explode if I found one that was.
I wandered around the edges of his room, but didn't want to be too invasive as far as his personal effects were involved. So I directed my attention to his 'GFD' shrine of fandom, and just drank it all in. It was the best way to distract myself, after all.
Parker definitely had all of the essential collector pieces to consider himself a true 'Day-Hard' fan...with a few extras here and there. I kept looking for stuff that I didn't have, but it looked like we had tastes that were pretty similar. He found action figures for 'Rain' and 'Doc' though. I didn't have those. And he had them in the package still. Ooh...and he had an autographed Taryn/Julian Clarke photo from the first movie. And attached to the top of it was a movie ticket from one of the first late night showings on opening day for the last movie. So cool!
"I wanted to go in for a hug, but I chickened out at the last minute." Parker said as he re-entered the room, a clean and happy baby girl in his arms. He walked over to the wall where I was standing and smiled. "I would have gotten an Adam Turner autograph too, but the lines were super long and my dad told me we had to split. It sucked. But one out of two ain't bad, right?"
"You actually got to meet them, huh?" I grinned.
"Yep!" He smiled proudly. "Well, I mean, sorta. I got to stand in line with a bunch of other people at a Comicon panel and had them maintain a false celebrity smile for a few moments while asking me who they should make their signature out to. But it was still awesome to me. You know?"
"Oh, believe me! I totally know what you mean!" I gushed. "I think I would have lost it the second either one of them made eye contact with me. Hehehe, it would be really hard for me to detach them from the characters they play on screen. The characters that I've been reading about for so long now."
Parker's eyes lit up. "I KNOW, right??? I was thinking that exact same thing, but I was trying to be cool about the whole situation because I figured they must get that kind of thing all the time. I just...I wanted to 'touch' them. Hehehe, is that weird."
Looking him in the eye, I said, "No. No, that's not weird at all." I felt myself being sucked into his charming allure all over again. I tried to look away to avoid it, but my gaze floated right back to him in a matter of seconds. We both fidgeted for a moment, making eye contact and giggling once again. I almost leaned in for another kiss. I don't know...I just wanted to see if the first time was a fluke or something. But...he was actually holding a BABY between us, so...that made things a bit awkward. "Sorry." I said, realizing that I was probably smooshing the poor infant as I tried to find a way to connect my lips to his again.
He giggled playfully. "What am I doing? Dude, I'm sorry. Hehehe, yeah...why don't I try putting the baby down first? How about that?" He turned to lay his sister down on the bed on her back, making sure that she was stable and secure, and he put a pacifier in her mouth to keep her quiet before standing upright and walking back to join me.
You'd think we just go right back to kissing again now that things were a little bit more natural, right?
FUCK!!! How in the hell did I lose what little nerve I had in the time it took him to lay a baby on the bed right next to us???
Now feeling those frantic butterflies in my stomach from before fluttering their excited wings in the back of my throat, I found myself even more terrified. I mean, that first kiss was...it was really AMAZING! But it was also a random act that came as a surprise to the both of us. Trying to duplicate that moment...trying to recapture a spontaneous act in a way that was more...'deliberate'...? I can't think of anything more frightening.
I was scared to look him in the eye. I kept my eyes on his bookshelf instead, putting my hands deep into my pockets to keep them from flopping around like the nervous appendages that they were. "Ahem...I see you bought all of the books. Spinoffs too. That's um...that's really cool." I just needed to buy enough time to grow a pair and find my way back to the paradise I was just a part of only minutes ago.
"Yeah." Parker said. "Anything 'GFD' related, I try to pick it up. You know...within reason." He reached up and pulled a book from the top shelf. "I even got this whole graphic novel of the series. It's awesome. It's in German."
"You speak German?"
"No. Hehehe! But...it's beyond awesome, all the same. I LOVE it!"
I blushed a bit. "I've got a few Japanese fanfic comic strips like that. There's this really cute one about Trevor and Gyro that I thought was really beautiful. Couldn't read a single word of it...but the artwork said it all..."
"Uh huh..." Parker said. Not in a rude way, but there was definitely a subtle tone to it that begged the question, 'why are we talking about this right now?' I could just feel it. So I forced myself to look him in the eye again, that stunning smile of his making me feel all warm and wiggly inside, and I tried to keep from gasping out loud as he lightly tugged on my wrist and took a hold of my hand, freeing it from my pants pocket. "...Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong, but weren't we just kissing a minute ago?" He grinned.
Okaaay, so NOW the butterflies in my stomach and throat were all armed with tiny little jackhammers, and they were plotting on the greatest prison escape in history! I became so frail from his touch that I started looking for something to lean on...just to keep my balance. Unfortunately, I was too far away from the wall to reach out and grab hold. My shaky legs will just have to do.
"Hehehe, yeah. I think we were." I stammered.
"Hmmm...ok. I wanted to make sure that I didn't imagine that." He paused, as if he was waiting for me to carry the coy little game a step further. And I WANTED to! I just...um...wasn't sure how. Can I just move in and start kissing him again? I can do that. I'll only screw things up by talking too much anyway. Right? I shifted from one foot to the other for a moment. Parker giggled and said, "Yeah. Kissing. Kissing is nice." Arrrgh! I don't get a bigger hint than that! "Is there any reason for us to stop, or...?"
That's it! I'm going for it. "Nope." I giggled, and even though I felt a little uncoordinated and graceless in my approach, I moved forward...tilted my head slightly to the right...and closed my eyes as I moved in and hoped that my lips landed in the right place.
A gentle collision was made, and I suddenly felt gravity completely lose its previously determined grip on me.
I attempted to slow my breathing a little so I wouldn't sound like some sort of wheezing idiot, but unfortunately...that took concentration. And I was incapable of wrapping my thoughts around anything that took concentration. As this soft, erotic, sound of lips smacking filled the air, I felt Parker's thumb rubbing back and forth across my fingers...and I got so hard that I kissed him even harder. If for no other reason than to hopefully keep his eyes closed so he wouldn't seen the obscene boner poking out in his direction.
It didn't take long before our tongues started to slide against one another again, and my virgin instincts told me to step in even closer. I felt my hardness lightly bump into the front of his pants, so I tried to move a little so I wasn't grinding on him like some kind of rapist. But as I stepped to the side, I accidentally stepped on Parker's foot. "Oh God, I'm sorry..."
But I could barely get the words out of my mouth before Parker grinned and went back to kissing me again.
Right. I'm thinking too much again.
A few minutes of heavy making out go by before I allow my hands to rest on his hips and fully experience the moment for what it was. Heh...my first kiss. Ever. I couldn't help but to think that years and years from now...when asked about my very firs kiss, my very first experience with that heart bursting hint of love...THIS is the moment that I'm going to be talking about! The time when I was 15 years old, and I made out with the hottest boy that I had ever seen in my LIFE! Yeah...I'm going to look back on these few blissful moments and smile. I hope I remember every last detail of it!
I don't think Parker experienced a single distraction from our liplock until Jasmine began squirming around on the bed. She spit the pacifier out of her mouth and began to make little noises at first. We were kissing, but Parker opened his eyes just to look over and make sure she was alright. As breathless as I was, I whispered, "Dude...if you need to..."
But he said, "Nah. It's ok. She's alright." And he pressed his lips to mine once again. This time, I could clearly feel a bulge in his pants as it poked me. I hugged him tighter. I didn't mean to push my hips forward, but they kind of did it all on their own. I heard him moan quietly, and I moaned in return. Soon, our passionate kissing got to be something rather 'naughty'! Hehehe! Something had changed in our demeanor. Something that made us both crave a LOT more than a standing kiss by his memorabilia bookshelf.
But his sister began to make more noises. Wanting to be picked up? Or played with? Or fed? Who knows? Babies can sometimes just 'tell' when they're not the center of attention...and it pisses them off.
So Parker gave me a few more soft kisses, and then the CUTEST little pouty expression crossed his face as we tried to stop smooching long enough for him to keep his wits about him. I could tell that he wanted to keep going, but his responsibilities were sort of getting in the way right now.
It was then that I saw Parker's eyes travel down a little bit, and he saw the obvious tent that I was sporting below. At first, I felt humiliated. TOTALLY embarrassed! But this was all brand new for me. So having anyone see a boner in my pants was just a blush-worthy experience. I hadn't quite associated it with being 'sexy' yet, I suppose. But when he smiled and gave me another deep kiss on the lips, his soft hands holding both sides of my head...I felt a little bit better about having him see me so...er...'exposed'.
Parker did end up having to tend to his baby sister some more, and she wanted to be picked up and further entertained, so...it became clear that we weren't going to be able to get back to naughty stuff again for a while. I could feel the moment slipping away from us. As adorable as Jasmine was...hehehe, just...goddamn you!
Parker was holding her in his arms as he walked me to the front door a while later. He even gave me another kiss on the cheek before I stepped outside. "You still got my number, right? I mean...you'll call me?" He asked.
I grinned, "Definitely. I promise."
"Are you kidding me? I've never been more sure of anything before in my LIFE! Trust me on this!" I'm glad that I was able to at least get THOSE words out of my mouth without too much drama and terror. I even leaned in to kiss him on the lips again briefly before turning to leave. I even gave Jazzy a kiss on the cheek for being so damn cute. Hehehe! It didn't feel so clumsy this time. Everything felt just fine. "We'll hang out soon. K?"
Parker turned pink instantly, but his smile faded slightly as he called out to me. "Kevin?"
"I don't want to sound...clingy or anything, but..." Parker bashfully bit the corner of his bottom lip, and then rolled his eyes with a smile before finally confessing his concerns. "...Can you call me tomorrow? I mean...not a few days from now. I just want...I guess I'm just gonna worry about stuff until I hear from you again. I'm really new at this. Heh..."
He tried to laugh it off, but I could tell that he was actually stressing over the fact that what happened between us today was going to change things between us. In a major way. And let's be honest...it WILL! Just, not in a bad way. In a much much better way. Maybe even in the best way.
I said, "Dude, I'm gonna be all OVER your phone! I'm gonna make you sick of me now! Watch!"
"Hehehe, I doubt that. But you're more than welcome to try." He smirked, and we said our goodbyes as I attempted to get that whole 'left foot, right foot' rhythm of walking back in order long enough for me to get home.
Wait...do I have a boyfriend now? I don't know what this means, but...I'm definitely moving in the right direction. I've got to figure out what the next step is. Because if I can get a boy like Parker interested in me, I can achieve almost ANYTHING!
He's the kind of boy that makes you believe you can fly. Just take off...and fly.